Being OUTSPOKEN… A WRONG AND RIGHT TIME/BLOG

madea photo nice

I was talking to a friend last night, and our phone call conversation trigger several thoughts about being OUTSPOKEN at the wrong time. This is a subject that’s very serious to me, and I speak in COMPLETE BOLDNESS when it comes to it. I touched on this in the last blog entry…. but this one.. I’m going in.

Everyone who knows me know that when you call me, email, text, or we talk FACE TO FACE…I’m going to give you the real. I don’t add sugar to my conversations, ONLY salt.  I’m not going to short cut you, or baby you. I can feel when you’re leaving something out, and I can tell when you’re adding to it.I ask a lot of QUESTIONS… you already know. Many people come to me for advice because I can see the bigger picture. I use Godly Wisdom, and not worldly tickles. I’m not her. Period.

If I feel you’re holding back the complete truth, I’m going to shut down the conversation completely, and keep it moving. I will NOT hold a conversation with anyone, who doesn’t tell the full story…. it’s a waste of my time. I will never again hold 1 and 2 hour conversations just to listen * especially if the story is stupid and doesn’t need to be told* just because you want me to listen and not comment. FIND ANOTHER FRIEND FOR THAT. FIND A FRIEND WHO WILL LISTEN ONLY.. IM NOT HER…… AT ALL… PERIOD. I don’t have time to say.. “yeah, um um, I understand, right, yes, okay… all through the conversation without any input. I refuse to spend that kinda time on those conversations…. phone a friend who will. I’m not mad or anything… I’m just not that friend. PERIOD.

Listen.. as Christians we have to learn when to speak and when to fall back. When to stay in our own lanes, and when its okay to share lanes. Its very ignorant to be “OUTSPOKEN” on the wrong things. Its very ignorant to tell a friend… those shoes are ugly, where you get that ugly red hat from? Why you have on those pants, the style is ugly. When are you going to comb your hair? What time are you getting in the tub… I smell something? But then…. when its time to pay a bill and negotiate with someone.. you can’t do it. When you need to tell someone to stay out of your room, you can’t tell them. When you need a neighbor to turn down their music you can’t knock on their door. When you need to get pass someone and you can’t say excuse me, you rather wait until they notice you’re standing there. When you need to ask for a loan and SCARED of hearing NO.. or I DON’T HAVE IT. Instead of being able to ask these things… the excuse is ALWAYS…. “I don’t want nobody telling me NO… and If I say it, its going to come out wrong”. What is that? That’s stupid as hell to me. You can open your mouth and put your 2 cents into everybody else’s conversation, but don’t know how to work your own lane.

You can tell someone what their job is, and what they need to do, when they need to do it and why…. but you can’t knock on a neighbors door and tell them the’re too loud watching a Football game? That &&&& is retarded to me!!  You rather tell a friend their shoes are ugly…. IN THE NAME OF BEING HONEST. * because/whether they asked.. OR NOT”… but wont use that same honestly…. to knock on someone’s door and ask them to turn down their TV because its too loud.

As Christians.. we have to learn how to talk to people. The only reason why you feel its not going to “come out right” is because you catch attitude from people when they get mad at you for being in their business when you wasn’t invited. So now that its your business and its time for you to be a Boss, you can’t. We have to learn how to look at people in a non confrontational manner when speaking to them about an issue that would other wise cause conflict. We have to learn how to use voice control and direct eye contact with others. We have to usher in a Spirit of Peace when we speak. We have to go to God and ask him to calm us down before we ask a question or deliver a message to someone who may not take it well. This is a part of growing up, getting off milk and eating meat. You cannot be afraid “it won’t come out right”.. but at the same time… claiming how outspoken you are. Stop speaking when not asked., stop being so opinionated on things that doesn’t matter. Learn to pay attention to how things come on * a friend told me this*…. many times when you need an answer or something done, you need to learn how not to offend, so that the person can get it. That’s the whole key….. for them to GET IT. Stop feeling as if you have to say everything since its true….. when its not your story, important or necessary to say. Ask God to calm your storm before going to someone if you feel its going to lead to an argument or debate. Take YOU out of the situation and get things done people!!!

I know “outspoken” people who will tell you how dirty your car is….. but scared to ask the cashier for more ketchup because 1 isn’t enough. SMH!!!! 

If we all told what we know of one another, there would not be four friends in the world- Blaise Pascal

Be Blessed!

Change the atmosphere of that dysfunction …….. From the desk of Cree

phonephotriasing
Yesterday when I was in Meijer, I met these 2 lovely young ladies who was stacking salad and other items in that area. I was instantly connected to them because they were friendly and very helpful. Somehow we got on the subject of their mothers. One gurl moved here from Indiana and said she missed her mother so much. But the other gurl went on about how she felt her mom didn’t show her love at all growing up, and that when she have her baby she’ll show her baby much LOVE. So, I said… Let me ask you this: To your knowledge what have YOUR mother been through as a child? She said… my mother was poor, she went through a lot growing up. And after she had me, she got on drugs, couldn’t keep a job, she shared many things with us.
 
 
I told her sometimes after a woman has been though a lot, she doesn’t KNOW HOW to build a relationship with her children, she doesn’t KNOW HOW to love you like you should be loved. Sometimes a woman don’t know where to start with building a relationship with her children. She could be so hurt and so far gone IN HER DYSFUNCTION, that she doesn’t even recognize that she’s wrong even after hearing it all of her life. I said but do you have any children? She said I’m pregnant now. I told her, well this is YOUR chance and time to CHANGE THE CYCLE. Change the atmosphere, change the story, change your story with your mom. Do things YOUR way, be different, think different.
 
 
I told her, in NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO way am I saying that YOUR MOM was right. * she wasn’t* … but I AM saying since you cannot change that….. YOU must change the atmosphere of that dysfunction. I told her and when you do… don’t rub it in your mothers face how much better of a mother YOU ARE, because when you think you’ve done everything so perfect and different from your mom…. you daughter/son will get grown and TELL YOU how she/he felt YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER. She got it. I planted a seed. My work was done. Thank you Lord for placing me at the right place at the right time.
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Women & Relationships *1* Crees Blog Entry

nice bridegroomb4wedding
I watch ID everyday. I think I’m seriously addicted to it. I can’t help but wonder what would we really know about things that happen behind the scenes in relationships without these shows giving us a inside look on how things got started.
 
 
What bothers me the most are the women who want to be LOVED, heard, needed, wanted, will put up with MANY THINGS just to be in a relationship. Many of them TOTALLY IGNORING the God inside of them… screaming… DO NOT DO IT… THIS MAN IS NOT FOR YOU. But see WOMEN…. we HOPE things get better. Even when we see signs of cheating, signs that he doesn’t want to work, signs of mental abuse and physical…. we still want to have FAITH in that person. But I’m hear to say.. aint gon happen!!!
 
 
Even if its hard for a woman to admit it…. these are signs of low self esteem. AT some point you want what’s best for YOURSELF. At the same time… a woman needs to KNOW what she will and WILL not deal with. Let me give this example: I can’t/ wont deal with a man who screams at me, or others. I like to talk things out in a voice that’s not conformational. You’re understood better, and the other person is actually listening. Because at A N Y point I detect you’re trying to LOUD talk me, proving that your voice is the loudest, while trying to shut me down…..then I will get LOUD too. This would mean.. … that whatever we’re going through won’t be heard because we’re screaming and yelling at each other. I wouldn’t recommend a person writing a list of “HOW THEY WANT THEIR MAN/WOMAN TO LOOK”… but I will say.. write out a list of things “YOU WONT DEAL WITH”. Not only that….. BUT STICK WITH IT.

 
Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Business is Business… Don’t forget it…Crees Blog Entry

lilcreeI guess this week is all about BUSINESS . I just got off the phone with a good friend who happens to live in my apartment building. He’s a young guy but today he learned real quick… BUSINESS IS BUSINESS and PLAY TIME IS PLAY TIME.
I always see him down stairs talking with members of management and I always thought that was bad. Because if one day you need something taken care of, they will put you on the LAST TO DO LIST. because they feel you would “understand”. But I knew that one day it was going to be a problem somewhere down the line.
Well, yesterday someone stole a part off his car that was parked in the gated lot. He was pretty upset about it and when he went to management, they told him they wasn’t going to pay for it and that was the end of that. I told my friend the reason why you’re taking it so hard is because A. you thought that since you hang with them and know them, that when it came to business they would take care of it. I told him, when it comes to members of management…..you have to be about your business. You can’t sit in the office with them, or run down there telling them everything that’s going on. Being familiar, and smiling with them. I learned that myself years ago. So when its time for business with these people, and you’re talking face to face in a very low tone with direct eye contact…. THEY KNOW YOU’RE SERIOUS.
Living here where there are many people coming and going because of the hospitals, businesses, sports arenas and bars. I learned to SPEAK… and keep it moving. I don’t sit and stand around in the lobby, or hang out in the office or anything. I’m very serious when it comes to taking care of business, and I don’t want anyone to “FEEL” they know me so well, that they can talk to me sideways, or tell me “No” or “I’ll get back to you” just because we talk outside of the office. My friends always wonder how do you always get what you want? Its because I don’t play…. meaning I keep business business and play time play time.
For some reason when management is in their “personal playtime” mood, they want everyone to be apart of their “fun and cool” side. And many people fall for it, but then as soon as its the next week when the manager has went back to his” business side”… people that he wanted so badly to impress by showing himself ” human” cant deal with it. That’s one of the BIGGEST ISSUES with employees today.
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

My Sister…..Cree’s Blog Entry

sis latrTonight I was watching Oprah’s “Where are they now” as she recapped the show where her Sister Patricia realized that they were sisters, it just bought me to tears. I had seen the original episode, and also this same “Where are they now” but this one tore me up. It reminds me so much of the story about my Sister. I know I keep writing on this subject, but I had known that she was out there somewhere since I was a young gurl. And to have her on my FB page and to see her post keeps her close to my heart.

When I saw tonight how the niece and Patricia took a blood test to determine if they were family, really made me think closer about doing this when ever my Sister * I believe we are* comes back to Detroit. I cannot stop thinking about this, and tonight I just cried and cried. My grand dad * my dad’s father* was married to her Aunt Lucy…. who I use to spend lots of time together when I was a kid. I loved my Grandma Lucy * passed away a few years ago*…. who was also her FAVORITE AUNT. And all the while my dad knew where she was, and how to contact her, but since it was a big secret in the family that she was his daughter… he didn’t. How all this came about….. one day.. my Sister knocked on my dad’s door and demanded answers. Someone in her family started talking and giving my sister answers. All while growing up she looked different than her other sisters, she knew something was wrong. All it takes is one family member who knows the truth, to spark the fire. I was the first person my dad called when my Sister left his apartment that day, because he knew I would find out, and I was the one he talked about her the most with.

As I was watching Oprah… I watched how happy Patricia was JUST TO KNOW her family members. It didn’t matter that Oprah is/was famous. I’m the oldest of the 4 of us from my mom and dad… but she’s older than me. So I see her as a “Big Sister”..someone I had to be to my siblings. I’m excited about that. I can see true LOVE in her eyes, in her mannerism, the way she looks at Oprah. She is very happy to have a Big Sister. I cried for her happiness. And as for Oprah’s mom, I hope that she can move on with her guilt, because really it doesn’t matter about the past anymore. Its okay that Patricia was given up for an adoption, because everyone is going through a healing process, and all that matters is the fact that….they’re all together now. See that’s the part my dad don’t get. He doesn’t want anyone to ask questions. Well.. I’m sorry dad you have daughters that ask questions. We aren’t mad or angry with you for what happened when you were a teenager. We don’t care, all my sister want is to be accepted. Give her that.

My Sister is now running for a seat in the US Senate. I am so proud of her. As for me…. I just want to kiss her, hug her, look at her, talk to her, listen to all of her stories, and even share some. My dad still haven’t called me * almost 3 months*, and I have no desire to talk to him. I don’t like the way he is handling things with my Sister because of his fears. And since he knows how I feel, in his mind… its easier for him to find something petty to be mad at me about. Growing up when he did it …. it bothered me… now….I’m keeping it moving.

Let me go to bed…..more this week.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Total Praise, Personal Scriptures….Cree’s Blog Entry

love godIts Saturday and I was out and about this afternoon. Tomorrow I’m cooking some Collard Greens. I love greens so much. I remember when I use to call my momma and ask her to make some and she would, just because she knew I loved them. Now my daughter calls me to make her some. No this gurl didn’t text me this morning at 9:14 am talking about “she gotta taste for some greens”….. she doesn’t live with me…she has her own place!!!! LOL When people say *they gotta taste* that means they want you to make them some. Call me what you want…. because I went to the grocery store this morning and got my baby some greens. Can’t wait to cook them. LOL 

This morning as I was laying down talking to God. I asked him why do I enjoy sharing my life stories with people. I know so many people who wouldn’t dare share their stories with anyone. They will post Scriptures all day everyday. And even though…. I KNOW MY LIMIT of what to share and what to keep private… I still wondered why I don’t mind doing this? What he said was…. I ‘m delivered from what others THINK OF ME. He said when you share a story.. ITS YOUR TRUTH and you know NO ONE on earth have the POWER to dissect it. He said some people have others to influence and when you have that in your life, you will always be afraid of what others think of you…. therefore those people will never share their stories for fear of JUDGEMENT. This is not for everyone… ONLY (((((SOME))))). 

I learned that people who ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a comment for what someone does, good or bad….((((especially negative)))))
they WOULD’ NT DARE LET OTHERS INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIVES FOR THE FEAR OF THAT SAME JUDGEMENT THAT THEY DISH OUT.
As I go through my personal storm (((( will share at a later time)))) this is my song that gets me through. So BADLY I want to THINK about how things are going to work out for me. But God said NOPE …. KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME ((((and that way I will have NO time to focus on my issues))))) and so it reminds me of these Scriptures. 

Jesus Walks on the Water

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33 (New International Version)

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Secrets, Facebook, Millionaire, and Anger Issues….Cree’s Blog Entry

excuse meI’m very proud of myself….. I’ve been doing really good with my ANGER issues. I’m working so, so hard to just learn to fall back, and not speak a word, especially when its not important. I learned that my issue is not having an attitude in the morning, or when I walk into a room… mine come in on STUPID ISH. For example. I was driving the other night from a movie, and there was a Detroit Tigers game that had just let out, and while WE had the GREEN light, people were still walking across the street like THEY HAD THE RIGHT AWAY. Okay, so I’m cool with it, then after while, people just kept on coming and “we” who had the right away….. was like okay nah…. we about to start driving… it is a green light for us. As I’m inching in letting the people know… this light is not going to stay green forever, I’m about to start driving.. this white dude… staring at me like… “YOU BETTA NOT HIT ME”… Lawd…. why did I have to see that look on his face? AND ITS MY TURN TO DRIVE THROUGH THE GREEN LIGHT!!!! I just started praying, I was about to lay on the horn for 30 minutes… LOL I just let God talk me out of it. This is the kinds of things I go through with being Angry. I NEVER fall out with family or friends… never have attitudes, never act funny to people… its other people and their ignorance that sends me over the top. But I’ve been doing good for the last 2 weeks or so. Trying not to have “ANGER stories to tell”. Trying to get up to ZERO STORIES.

I was sitting up thinking about how if we had Facebook back in the day when I was in my 20’s…. what would MY stats be? LOL LOL LOL Baaaaaby… it would probably read…”Had a party last night at my house, and when the morning came, my sister friend was laying in the drive way sleep”. ” One of my boos was ova, he wasn’t talking about nothing, so when the phone rang and it was my other boo, I pretended to have a headache and made home boy leave.” LOL On my way to Watts Club Mozambique *male dancers* to see my baby Ace Lee” “Got my gurls ova, we bout to talk ish over spades and down 1800, absolute, and Henny”. ” Walked up in the club looking good, banging body, hair laid, and all the men looking at me.”  LOL Thank God, we didn’t have that mess, I can save some of my drama and foolishness LOL LOL for the world to see. HAHAHAHAHA… those kids can have it… I only use it to uplift. I think that’s why I can relate to so many people, is because I know and remember the person I use to be, and so when I see young people behaving the same way…. I don’t JUDGE them. I try to help them. I have a lot of young gurls from my old job, and they listens to me. They have to have their day where they’re foolish, so when I speak to them I try to let them see another light of it. The sooner you come out of your foolishness, the sooner you can get on with God’s plan for your life.

I watched about 4 Secret Millionaire episodes this past week, and they were so good….. had me crying like a baby. If I ever got rich or have a husband who is, I’m going to spend his money giving it away. I will volunteer for the rest of my life to helping teens, women, and the elderly. So many of our young people need help. One day I had group meetings with students at work, and I was so shocked to hear how many kids who have foster parents. Even the grandmothers are either dead, or can’t be there for them. I think a lot of people from my generation were on drugs, and sexually abused. It was so many rapes going on in my days of being a teen, and some of these women never recovered. Everything is a dang ole secret now a days… PISSES ME OFF. I HATE SECRETS. HATE THEM WITH A PASSION. These grandmothers raising their grand kids with all this LOVE, they should have shown their daughters when they were growing up. Now the daughter lost her way, and the grandmother is not telling the whole story to anyone or the grand kids about why her daughter cant MENTALLY raise her own kids. The daughter has been raped, molested, exposed to drugs, didn’t have a father at home, was left to find food for her siblings…. all kinds of stuff. I’ve seen it first hand… and after all these years.. it angers me to know this story about my friend. Anyway…. let me get off this subject.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

“WHO R U PART 2 CREE’S BLOG ENTRY (((must read)))

relationship with godPART 2…

Here’s what I found out…..That while growing up I always had a desire to keep PEACE in my life and to those all around me. I was that kid that when my momma said.. get up and wash dishes…. I got up and washed dishes. If she said be home by 9… I was home by 8:30. If my dad said to me have this house cleaned up by the time he got home… so it was. My dad was (((and still can be))) a manipulator. I didn’t know what it was then, but I knew that when he wasn’t happy, he wanted to make everybody around him miserable. GOD.. I HATED THAT!!!! He could come into the house and set off the whole atmosphere. He would turn the TV when he knew we were watching something, made us do stuff, he would just create a space that was unbearable.

As I got in my teens and started working, he would ask me for a few dollars here and there, and I would give it to him. But there were times when I had other plans with my money, and boy did he make it hard for me. In order to have PEACE in the house when he wanted money to buy liquor, play his lottery or gas money, he would purposely start an argument with me, and for PEACE sake I would give in. This went on for years. Then I watched him do it to my sisters. When I moved out at 22, he continued to call me and ask for money when he needed it. And when I didn’t give it to him, he would be mad at me for weeks and weeks. For the life of me, I still can’t understand how a father/mother can be mad at their own kids for this long period of time. ((((shaking my head)))) When me and my siblings get mad at each other we make up on the spot!

So at age 22 my calm sweet Spirit attracted MANY people. I love PEACE and people see it, they want to be apart of it, they are a magnet to me… and as I grew up in LOVE and demand PEACE.. I found myself being a FREE THERAPIST for everyone. LOL I LOVED it and still do!!! I love talking and listening to people (((( THIS IS WHO I AM))) and what was going on with them, helped me in so many ways to figure out my own ISSUES. But in the process I lost myself. I got caught up in showing so much LOVE, that I have neglected myself. Not only that.. but I realized that not everyone knows how to receive LOVE.

I met this lady at my job, she was a year older than me. We worked together, and became really good friends. She didn’t have siblings and wasn’t close with her mom. I enjoyed talking with her and talking about the things that went along in her relationship. After that didn’t work she moved out of town and we still stayed in touch. Knowing that she was in another city I was often worried about her. I remember one day I called her and didn’t get an answer. It was very unusual since we talked nearly everyday and every week. I called her so much that day it had to be about 11-12 times straight. But she was there all along, not feeling like answering the phone.

Here is a piece of that email she wrote to me….. I HAVE HAD
E———–NOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS
IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG TO BE CALLING ME THE WAY YOU HAVE.
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU
BEFORE. YOUR CALLS DONT MOVE ME! WHEN I HAVE TIME I WILL
CALL YOU. I AM ON A MISSION AND WILL NOT EXPLAIN MYSELF! IT
SADDENS ME THAT YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO AN ALL TIME LOW. ITS
DISGRACEFUL! DISRESPECTFUL AND TRULY INCONSIDERATE! IF THERE
IS NO EMERGENCY THERE IS NO EXCUSE AND GOD NEEDS TO CONVICT
YOUR HEART ON THIS MATTER. AT THE DROP OF A DIME YOU CAN
ENCOURAGE PEOPLE NOT TO CALL SOMEONE IF THEY HAVE CALLED
THEM SEVERAL TIMES AND THEY HAVENT RETURNED THEIR CALL. THEN
WHY CANT YOU TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE MISSY! ALL I CAN SAY IS
WOW YOU ARE TRULY OUT OF CONTROL! AND WHEN I STOP WHAT IM
DOING TO ANSWER THE PHONE AFTER A GAZILLION CALLS, YOU HAVE
NOTHING TO SAY BUT HI.
YOU-CAN-NOT-CONTROL-ANYTHING-BUT-YOU! TO TRY AND FORCE
SOMEONE TO CALL YOU BACK AND SHOW THEM YOU WILL BADGER THEM
at all cost IS NOT THE WAY TO DO things. YOU GET NOOOOOOOO
RESULTS! AS YOU SAY “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER THINGS PEOPLE
HAVE PLANNED WHEN YOU CALL THEM” THE SAME RULES APPLY TO
YOU.
PRAYING ALL IS WELL
BE BLESSED

And in another email that day…. she wrote:

Its soooooooooooo sad,
That my friend has a case of road rage at the mouth and cannot control herself. It saddens me that you interject your comments when I didn’t ask for your opinion. Its clear that you lack the ability to listen. How can you argue MY opinion.
You have issues with your mouth and listening without offering your opinion when not needed. You got a big loud mouth and you need to learn to control yourself missy! I have a friend with no self control of the lips. And for the first time in years I need to tell you, that you have a serious problem in this area. I am embarrassed to know that its soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out of control even you cant help it. But you really need to get-it-together with your angerrage mouth!!! Its very difficult to share things with you when I know you gonna go nutts at the lips!!!!!!!

There is no excuse or apology for your behavior just work on making the changes for yourself.

After reading that THEN….. I was like WOW. Where did that come from? Even though we have been knowing each other for a total of 23 years…. I STILL DIDNT look at myself . I never got to explain to her that I only called so many times in a row was because I was worried about her… aint like she lived around the corner as she always have from me. She was going through a lot at that time, and she was my GOOD friend. I cared. In my family and circle, if you’re really close and haven’t talked to that person… concern grows…. YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THEM… and they’d appreciate it too. Looking back at this email from 5 years ago… I realize that everyone is not use to someone “looking out for them” “checking up”, “or giving advice” just as well as listen to it. I have sisters that I LOVE… trust and believe if I blow you up like that I CARE. When I can’t get in touch with my sisters and friends… THEY KNOW I WILL BE KNOCKING ON THEIR DOORS. If something is wrong with that… I’m sorry. They understand… that I don’t mean no harm.

I refuse to put this ALL on her. This was MY issue too. Becoming too involved and having a desire to help people. I didn’t know when they wanted me to listen or when they wanted advice. When I’m quiet they want to know what IM THINKING.. when I voiced my opinion they just WANTED ME TO LISTEN. Again… that was me… putting too much into others. Don’t get my wrong there was nothing wrong in doing this… but when you lose YOURSELF FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS… that’s not good at all. I finally get what she’s saying after all of these years. I get it. I really get it. Too bad our friendship has ended.

And just like my dad, he just wont let me LOVE him without sabotaging our relationship. He’s mad at me right now, its been almost 3 weeks since he called me. Growing up as a child and in my early 30’s this would bother me something terrible. Somehow I just don’t care anymore. I feel bad that I DONT CARE. Looking at my dad’s past, he is just like my friend, THEY KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND TO BE FAITHFUL TO PEOPLE….. but they don’t know how to RECEIVE it.

I’m not mad at nobody…. I’m just staying in my own LANE. Running my OWN race.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

*Showing myself (too) friendly*

Hey~ Cree is here!!
 
Thank you Lord for keeping my life drama free. Thank you for allowing me to listen first then to speak. Thank you for being that voice inside my head that tells me to be quiet. Just Thank you.
 
Today as I was in the break room ( the small personal one,  that room is freezing).  I was listening to my IPod and had the hood of my coat over my head (which means I don’t want to be bothered), I dunno why, but its something about me that always make people want to ask me questions about MYSELF. It bothers me sometimes, because I’m more of a listener than a person who will sit up and tell you I just got a “brand new house”. I’m just not like that. And so this black lady who has been there probably when the store opened, thought that since I was the only one in there with her, she could ask me questions ( she always wanted to ask,) about one of the 2 best friends I have. My friend Gloria use to work there, and she is just like me,  YOU THINK you knew her, but you really didn’t because she is private about her home life. No this lady didn’t try to ask me a thousand questions about her. It bothered me because, she know on 10 stacks of scriptures she wouldn’t dare ask Gloria ANYTHING about her. Gloria ( photo below)  dont play! LOL
 
 
 LOL So, why then did she ask me? Because I’m friendly. …I’m guessing. I tried to get her to back down before the Virgo came out, I tried to pretend I didn’t hear the question due to my head sets being on, I tried to block her out and go around the questions…………then I said, gurl how are you gonna ask me questions about MY friend? I said I’m not going to sit up here and tell you her BUSINESS. I said the next time you see her, ask her! Her facial expression change, she said said Cree I wasn’t trying to get into your friends business, she said that about 12 times. She kept apologizing . I can’t stand when people do that. Quit thinking I’m so open and quick to tell somebody’ business, just because I’m kind and nice. That’s just like asking Gayle about Oprah…….. you know dangole well Gayle aint gonna tell you anything about her BFF. And I don’t blame her!!!! And the bad part about that, even if Gayle say to someone, Oprah ate some bad ribs and her face broke out for 4 days, SOMEBODY WOULD CONSIDER THAT A GOOD ARTICLE/NEWS/CONVERSATION/STORY. When its nothing like that. It was just something that she decided to share, somebody GOT GEEKED and cant stop talking about it. So, that’s why less is best, and my circle is so small, as a matter of fact the only people who are in it are those people who have been knowing me for 17 years and better. A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers  came up to me and said “um…. I saw you driving a 2011 Malibu” OKAY AND……. SO WHAT!!!! People think you are suppose to run up to them and tell them all that’s going on with you. STOP THINKING YOU KNOW ME, SINCE IM FRIENDLY!!!!!! CAUSE YOU DONT!!!!!!!!! I had it  since Feb 14, SO WHAT!!!!! WHOOOOO SAHHHHH  LACREASE WHOOOOOO SAHHHHHHHHHHH.
 
Then I look and feel like the bad guy, when I bust a “side eye look” on my face for them to back up off me and my business.
 
See this is what happened. I use to be very mean, and ignant ( lol). I never remember  having self esteem issues, only that my behind was very big, sat on my back and  a small waist to hold it. Back then that was  NOT good, these days you’re the bomb. SMH. Anyway, I was promiscuous, drank ( got drunk with my gurls all the time),use to party 3-5 times a week. Didn’t date anyone but police officers, teachers, business owners, and  city officials. * I know that was crazy…..but those were my standards* , wasn’t going to church, wasn’t good with money, evil, revengeful, secretive, JUST A WREAK!!! One day, GOD stripped me down!!! Told me that I had to put a end to my foolishness!!!! Long story short, I stopped being evil and revengeful….and all of thee above.  And decided that  I wanted to be nice, I wanted to smile and be kind to people. Show myself friendly, and open up more to people. I started making my circle small, and traveled more. Women always kept up a lot of drama, I never did. I CANT EVEN REMEBER A FIGHT I HAD. Never had drama in the neighborhood I grew up in, I was always the loud fun one, who always had a kind thing to say and encouraging word.
 
I noticed tho, as I began to open up more, people took my kindness for weakness. I was always one up on them tho ( by acting like I didn’t know more than I put on)and with that I would let people who meant me no good HANG THEMSELVES, without even having to ask ” did I do something to offend you”, they always and to this day know……….. that our friendship has reached its end. I came to a point where I needed to share more of myself so that others would be healed of their hurts. I would hold Sistergurl Meetings at my house where we would get together and talk about our lives experiences. That’s where I learned to be transparent. Somewhere in between there, I got “SECERTS AND TRANSPARENT” mixed up.
 
So, in that I learned that no matter how friendly I am, and no matter how much I love people, I had to go back to my old ways and not share everything. I’m sorry about this too, because what really is a blessing to know, people look at it as HUGE, and what they use with the information can come back a mess. Even with others, I have seen it a million times. I love and enjoying sharing things with others, but I must be this way in this area. I have too.
 
I learned from God, that I am set apart. Where I’m going everybody cant go. Lord, where is that? LOL I ask him all the time, I dunno but…… I am going some where. And I’m ready.
 
LaCrease

Secret Life of Bees. TP, Loyality

Hey There!!

Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful day with my mother, and Neisha. We had a good day too. We went to see The Secret Life of Bees and I cried all the way through the movie. I couldn\’t stop. Tears just flowed. I was sitting there asking God where are these tears coming from? Why am I so emotional? I went through every emotion possible. My little tissue paper was so tiny when the movie was over. LOL My mother was sitting next to me and she kept crying. I looked over at other people and they were crying. My throat was so sore, and my eyes were red, my eye liner was almost gone. Everyone pulled their weight in this movie. Please, please I encourage everyone to go out and support this movie, not only because its a Excellent movie, but too, because its opening weekend. You will love it.

After the movie let out we went out to dinner. Then…… we went over to my Sister\’s house. She lives around the corner from me so we see each other alllllll the time. I tell people, make sure you spend time with your love ones. I know we may not all get along, but at least call often even if you don\’t visit.

My coworker called me early this morning to tell me that they are releasing her from the hospital today. She was so happy. Shoo I was sleepy when she called, I was talking crazy, lol but I knew what she was saying. So she\’ll be at work tomorrow, I cant wait to see her.

Speaking of friends. Let me share this with you all. I work around a lot of women, and they can be some catty thangs sometimes. I see a lot of things, and God tells me * stay clear away from that mess*. I say boo, you ain\’t got to tell me twice. I can so much stuff before it happens, and I use to hate it. I love it, because it keeps me so out of trouble. But I hate when women become friends and you can see the disloyalty in the friendship. Especially when someone have something heavy going on in their lives. Why do their friends feel the need to tell their business to others when it was only suppose to stay with that person? That\’s just bold to me.

I\’m close to 2 of my managers, and we talk about a lot of heavy stuff. One day my manager got a phone call and it was about her husband. I didn\’t know because I was on lunch. When I got back, one of my coworkers asked me what had happened because when my manager got off the phone she was kinda sad. When I told my coworker I didn\’t know, she thought I was playing . I didn\’t know what she was talking about. So before I could ask my manager myself, she came to me and told me what happened. I guess my coworker saw her talking to me and figured it was concerning the phone call she had gotten. Shoo, when someone tells me something, I\’m not telling it, its NOT my business to tell it. Frankly I think its disrespectful for someone to come ask you ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE\’S BUSINESS!!! Matter of fact, I have to examine my self to see what is it about me, that makes you feel that you can even ask me about MY FRIEND! Yeaha, I\’m friendly, and nice, but what I talk about with N EEEEEEEBODY is not your business. I feel strongly about that, and recently I have lost friendships about this same thing. What me and you talk about is out business. People are real quick to take something and turn it all around, messing the whole thing up. I have NO MINUTES for that foolishness. And when I realized that my coworker was acting standoffish, I let her know, when it comes to people\’s business, I don\’t discuss that with no one. I asked her, would you tell your gurl business to me? She felt me on that, and she doesn\’t go there with me anymore. She respects me and I respect her. Just don\’t ask me about my friends business!!!

Guess what? Maxwell concert is Sunday night!!! I\’m excited. I hate I\’m going alone, but oh well, Lacrease has waited long enough for him, my time has arrived!! Hopefully I can take photos at the Fabulous Fox!

Tyler Perry sent an email out yesterday. Yea, he didn\’t mention about the writers. YES!!! That\’s his personal business, people don\’t know how to handle information these days. I\’m glad that they have resolved the matter and I\’m so happy that things are back in order. Praise God!!! He had a beautiful email. Ah, I just love my brother. He talked about Dreaming. I did take him off the market as far as meeting him, but now I\’m hopeful again. I guess I gotta keep on dreaming. Just because of him I am doing something I always wanted to do. I\’m not going to share it yet, but I will soon. I promise!!! I just love his emails they are so inspiring. OK, Tyler I\’m not mad at you anymore. You know I was because I wanted to be at that party Oct 4. You aiiiiiight now because of that uplifting email. * wink*

Aiight y\’all. I\’m off to bed. Gotta get up early for work, and then to the cleaners, and to the mall. Gotta be looking cute for Maxwell on Sunday. Oh yeah, my corker has to walk, her doctor has her doing this, and she asked me to walk with her. So I\’m doing that this weekend as well. I need it too!

Good Night

Cree