Author: lacrease

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Made my night……Crees Blog Entry

Its amazing how I was feeling down… and one of my students sent me this in inbox tonight…. MADE MY NIGHT ….

LOVE 2Maa, i went to the hospital in they did in X-ray on my Heart in they found you in They Said If You Leave I will Diee

Let me share how we became friends. Everyday at work she would ask me to come over to her table and she’d say ….. “you owe me $1.00”. And when she first said it, I was like “huh for what”?. I’m always buying them something.. and I thought maybe I did owe her money.

I noticed that she has this Spirit about her that tells me that she’s the boss of her gurls. Everyday she would see me and give me this look as if she wanted to “be my friend”. I know that look, because they’re people who I meet and instantly I know, we’re going to be good friends. Well, this one day I went and sat down at her table with her and her friends. I said to her…. do I really owe you some money? I knew I didn’t, I wanted to talk to her to see where she was coming from. She said No, you don’t…. and smiled. I looked around the table with a smile and laughter in my voice, and asked her friends… hey yall…. is she a bully? They were like YES YES YES… but not in a bad way. I looked at her laughing.. I said I knew you were, talking about I owe you some money? LOL LOL We all cracked up. I said to her, now let me ask you a question? Who in your family is a bully…. because I know for a fact, if you’re a bully, you’re being bullied. Her eyes lit up like “how you know”? She said my mom bullies me. Isn’t that something? Ever since then we have kept in touch. The things that she has to go through… is unreal. I cry for her, and I want to always be apart of her life. And she’s a VIRGO just like me…. she’s my baby.

These mothers these days are killing me the way they’re mistreating their God given children. My daughter tells me all the time.. Mama you raised me so well. Today we went to the movies, and when we left, she went into the gas station to pay, as she was coming out, there was this lady standing at the door. I know she must have said something to Nesha… cause she reached in her pocket and gave the lady some money…. I was about to cry. She does this all the time, because she watched me do it all her life. When your child is grown and you see them living the way you taught them… it’s a wonderful feeling. I can’t even explain how I felt today.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Drunk in Love~ Beyonce…..Crees Blog Entry

I just finished watching all of Beyonce’s new videos and this is my FAVORITE…. Oh this is so “grown folks”. I LOVE this song. The Spirit in which she does it… you can tell she LOVES her husband. Its funny, because this is how I imagine my LOVE  to my husband… with EXCITEMENT and PASSION.

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Call a Thing…a thing… @kandi *great post to read* Crees Blog Entry

flhToday as I sit back and think about the episode of RHOA with Mama Joyce. I can’t but help think about how she reminds me of my dad in a way. Growing up and even now I felt as if my mom was really a wife to my dad. She made sure he was taken care of, and since he had his own issues with his mom * that’s another story* he was SPOLIED as far as I’m concerned. We did everything for him. If my dad wanted some water and didn’t feel like getting it, he had 4 kids to chose from to get it for him. Of course as a kid, you can’t wait to “get grown” so that you won’t have to do those things anymore. Little did we know.. what we hated as kids… we end up doing it to our own. LOL
 
 
As we all moved out on our own… my mom left my dad after 36 years of marriage, and all that my dad made us do as KIDS….. he found himself having to do them for HIMSELF and he HATED it. He never imagined having to do simple things like getting water, or running his bath water on his own. He always had us to do everything for him. Now… as adults my dad still have this thing where he feels that we’re suppose to run over to his apartment and do everything for him. And the thing is.. we LOVE him and wouldn’t mind, we don’t care… but the Spirit in which he wants it done… is THE SAME AS MAMA JOYCE and that I WILL NEVER GET WITH. EVER! I understand that Mama Joyce may have some concerns for Todd, or even Kandi’s BFF… that’s normal…. but the SPIRIT IN WHICH ITS DONE IN….. has got to change. The loud talking, ready to fight, cursing, accusations, taking over the conversation, and demanding things to change, when its NOT HER “function” to do so…. cannot continue to happen .. its time Kandi speak up. Speak up doesn’t mean to “go off” or “disrespect” her. I mean in a way her mom understand that Kandi has her own life, and that her MOM has no right to give her ultimatums.
 
 
I say my dad reminds me of Kandi’s mom is because like my dad, you can tell that Kandi was a great child growing up, always did what her mom told her, didn’t want to disappoint her, wanted to please her and make her happy, didn’t want ANY TROUBLE…. at all. Even as a adult making good money, Kandi make sure that her mom is taken care of. Comes over when her mom calls, answers the phone no matter what she’s doing, come over even when she’s not in the mood. Hmmm.. reminds me of how it was with us. I see so clearly where there is going. The cut off point in Mama Joyce eyes, as Kandi being an adult, a mother, a sister, and a soon to be wife * if not already*. Kandi’s mom hasn’t disconnected in those areas. I see it.. I live it. I KNOW.
 
 
I see myself in Kandi so much. Very sensitive. Its funny because my sister could say her peace with my dad in a nice tone, with high self esteem, love in her eyes for him, direct and to the point.. and will hop in her car and go to the Casino and play for hours without another thought about it. Me….. on the other hand. I have to sit back and go over why he’s acting like this, why me, what did I do wrong, what makes him this way… and cry at the same time. But baby something happened this summer concerning my dad and myself…….and I HAVE FINALLY LET IT GO!! * more on that later*
I grew up with my dad. lived in the same house with him until I moved out at 22. HE and my mom was married before I was even born and IM THE OLDEST. He always wanted control… the same as I see in Kandi’s mother. I noticed that if I wasn’t doing what my dad wanted and in a certain time… he wouldn’t talk to me. AND FOR A LONG TIME. I HATED THAT!!!! I was always the one who had to call and make up first. He never called me first. I knew all the things he loved, and when I missed him… I would go out and get those things for him just so that we could be back on good terms…… and we were COOL AS EVER.
 
 
This summer I got tired of that. I got tired of doing stuff to please him…. what I found out was….. PLEASING PEOPLE LIKE MY DAD, AND KANDI’S MOM IS ONLY TEMPORARILY. It wears off. You can bet….. your house and brand new truck….. in a few weeks or days….. there is another situation lurking where there is the need to TEMPORARILY…………. PLEASE THEM AGAIN. August of this year was MY BREAKTHRU..MY TURNING POINT…. my dad was mad at my mom * because she was too tired to take him someplace* when he called me. I took him, and all the way there he talked about my mom… which made me so mad. That same week, I took him to the grocery store , we were cool. As he got of the car I heard GOD LOUD AND CLEAR when he said….. “your dad is going to get mad at you soon”. The week wasn’t even up, when he called me and asked me to call my mom and ask her for my aunts number. I told him to call my mom for yourself, she’s not mad at you… YOU’RE MAD AT HER. That was my way of getting him to call her, but he’s SO STUBBORN he said “are you going to call her and ask for the number or not”? I said… No daddy. He hung up on me and NEVER CALLED BACK
 
 
I hated that. But God warned me. This time I did something different. All my life I wanted to please him and make up with him first. So, I didn’t call him, I wanted to see just how long it would take for him to call me… HE DIDNT. After 3 months … I called him FIRST…. AGAIN. The point I’m making is. …Kandi’ mother probably get mad at her all the time and NOT SPEAK TO HER… I’m willing to bet that Mama Joyce is so stubborn that Kandi is the one who is always making up first, calling, texting, visiting, and oh not to mention being REJECTED sometimes, because her mom is not ready to make up yet. I’m not saying STOP TAKING CARE OF HER… not saying STOP TALKING TO HER… but I am saying sit down and have a talk with her. Kandi is scared that one day… just one day…. her mom is going to stop talking to her ALL TOGETHER, Little does she know as bad as it may sound… MAMA JOYCE IS CAPABLE AND READY AT ANYTIME “SHE FEELS” she has “lost” Kandi for good. * IN HER MIND*. Kandi is afraid that everybody’s going to know about it, and that makes her very uncomfortable just thinking about it. I know your FEARS boo. Been there.
 
 
But guess what I learned….. they are who they are…. and there is nothing you can do about it. They have no plans to change… because they DON’T SEE WHAT THEY’RE DOING WRONG. When you don’t see your wrongs….. WHY do something different? Mama Joyce have it in her to go days and days and weeks and months not talking to Kandi… but truth is that time may come sooner or later. At some point Mama Joyce is going to ask Kandi to choose….. “Todd or me”… And that’s when things really get REAL. Chose LOVE Kandi. What ever that means to YOU.
 
 
Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Cree’s Ramblings…….Crees Blog Entry

DSCN1207Okay…. I guess I’ll do some ramblings today.

I’m not a person who wear wigs often, never had a weave, or a sew in( photo taken today). But today I tried the clip in extensions…. AND IM LOVING THEM. You can’t tell thatgurltheycallCree nothing today baaaby * in my Madea voice*!!!!! LOL I do think I have a phobia about weave, even eye lashes . I don’t like extra “stuff” going on. I like to remove EVERYTHANG AT BED TIME. Even nails get on my nerve after a certain time. I’ll wear tips starting off, then I’ll have them removed at the shop and I’ll wear my own nails with acrylic on top. I wonder why I’m like this? I don’t like hair in my eyes either. if I put on my lashes * I wear them everyday* and if feels as if they’re hanging over my eyes….. Oh they have to come off. I wonder if I have anxiety. Wow and something else is a trip. EVERY TIME I get ready to leave out of MY OWN HOUSE… I have to use the bathroom… and I’m not talking #1 either. I know this may be too much information… but I’m in the season of learning and paying attention to MYSELF. So hopefully you’re learning something about yourselves too. LOL

As I sit here and wait for the Real Housewives of Atlanta come on…. I must say after watching Nene Leakes in her spin off show…. I really like her. I got to see her with her REAL friends, people who are apart of her life, and she really is the peace keeper in her circle. She was a different person and I like that. And even now, she doesn’t like drama and that can only come when you’re at peace with yourself. I hope that she has another show, and I can say that seeing her in a different light has caused me to stop jumping to conclusions about folks. I realized that RHOA are people they she may have known in the beginning, but also people who are not necessary apart of her everyday life. She’s come a long way, and I’m proud of her.

I watched Bishop TD Jakes on line this morning…..”The Instinct to Increase”… it was so good. He asked “Are you a baby sitter or a Teacher”? Do you baby sit your gifts God gave you? OOOOOO yeah that’s what I was saying? He said “You’ll never have increase if you’re control by FEARS”. AWESOME WORD…. now its time to APPLY IT!!

BE BLESSED

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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This too…….Crees Blog Entry

Whenever I’m going through my own personal thing… I go through many different emotions in a day. I have learned to use that time alone to cry, pray and just think. I do not like to share those emotions because I always go to bed hopeful. This too, shall pass.

 
Be Blessed

 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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In 2013….. I Learned…….Crees Blog Entry

stankfacecreeThis year has been one I will never forget. Living alone with yourself…. will teach you a lot of things. The reason why I decided to share mines is because…. I believe that we all can take inventory of our lives… and when we do… we just may learn something.
I learned that I LOVE PRANKS. Even though I would never prank anyone. I realize that I go to youtube when I need to laugh, and when I need to smile just before going to bed. I’ve subscribed to several PRANK sites…. this is something that I realized I did. Wow. I asked myself… what is it that you get out of it? I LOVE to see people’s reaction. I love FACIAL EXPRESSIONS… they’re so funny to me.
I learned that its okay to enjoy being alone. I learned that I’m not the kind of person who calls up people and tell them my problems. I let God work things out, and that way I’m able to tell the story in TRUTH and in FULL. when I’m ready.
I learned that I have control of things that Angers me. For example, when the drive thru lady rolled her eyes so hard at me, all I could see is the white part in her eyes when I asked her for ketchup. I learned this year that I have total control of how I will react to ANY SITUATION, and that I was the one who really had the POWER. I always thought I had POWER AND CONTROL when I “told her off”…. but this year I LEARNED that the one who can laugh through it all…. is the one who has the POWER and SELF CONTROL.*pops my collar*
I learned that I don’t have to be “CONNECTED” to anyone. MEANING… if I’m cool with 2 people and they have issues with each other….. THATS THEIR PROBLEM TO WORK OUT!!!!! I’m free from DRAMA with my own SISTERS… I consider myself free from DRAMA with ANYBODY ELSE. I will not engage in ANY conversations pertaining to the other… PERIOD… AT ALL. I am my own person, I do what I want to do, I’m not connected to anyone. I do my own thang.
I learned this year… that I have always been the listener. My life has changed so much this year… sometimes I didn’t know if I was coming or going. In being the listener all the time….. I realized this year I didn’t have a listener for myself. Even though I’m good with that….. I realized and LEARNED that when I let all my talkers…..talk…. that I didn’t make them listeners. LOL But God had my back. And its all good.
I learned this year that my dad is who he is and that’s FINAL. I learned that whenever he got mad at me, that I was always afraid that he would be mad for a long time, and that’s why I always made up with him first. I went over 3 months before calling him * he had no plans to call me first* that was my first time going that long. I learned that its OKAY… that this is who HE is….. and for me to Boss Up… and accept it. I learned this year, that he can go months even years without talking to me.
I learned this year that I spent a lot of time holding people’s hand…. too long. I refuse to go any longer putting band-aids, and green rubbing alcohol on folks…. they gotta go to God.. JUST LIKE ME. I learned that I spend TOO MUCH TIME…. ( it’s okay to spend some time) on folks who don’t want to “get it”. I can’t use extra energy for that any more. I have to attend to me. I learned that I have neglected myself in so many ways. Those days are over.. and brighter days are coming.
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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A Frustrated Dreamer…..Crees Blog Entry

THIS IS FOR FRUSTRATED DREAMERS

I was driving in to work this morning and I started thinking about all the days I dreaded going to work. I was so sick of it… the job, my boss, the people I worked with, the traffic… I would wake up angry every morning. I didn’t want to deal with the crap of the job, but I was forced to go. I had been homeless, I was broke, living paycheck to hopefully the next paycheck. I couldn’t take a day off for fear I would get fired. I was just frustrated. I thought I hated my life and the job.

It was so aggravating because God had placed all these dreams and hopes in my soul and mind and I had no idea how they were going to come to pass. To have a dream of being something better and living better than the way I was at that moment and to not see a way of getting there felt like death to me. I thought, “Dear God, why would you give me so much hope and not make a way?” But what I learned through prayer was, with no path in front of you and no road map… this is where true faith begins. With faith I realized that I wasn’t frustrated with my life or the job, I was frustrated because I was a person who had dreams for myself, a person who had visions for my life and I wasn’t living it. Have you ever been there, where you felt so strongly that there was more to this life than what you see in front of you?

One of the most difficult things about being a dreamer is the fear that the dream will never happen. I’m here as a living witness to tell you your dreams can come true. You can’t give up. And I am here to let you know that everything can work together for your good. The time that you are spending on that job that you think is a dead end is not. You’re being prepared just like I was. I was a shoeshine boy, I worked as a bill collector, a used car salesman, in housekeeping in a hotel, and they all were preparation for where I am now.

What do these things have to do with where I am now? I’m glad you asked. I am able to use skills that I learned. I shined shoes, so I know how to shine my shoes if I need them to look nice. Selling used cars was a great way to learn how to close a deal. Bill collecting taught me great negotiation skills. Working at that 5-star hotel taught me a lot about travel. Every experience in your life is here to teach you something.

Today, while you’re at work, don’t be frustrated. Look around you and ask God what are you there to learn and how will it be a part of your future dream. Honor that job, do the best you can at it, because God will bless you for honoring something that belongs to another.

I hope this inspires you today. If you need a little more inspiration then watch my first sit-down interview in years with Oprah on Oprah’s Next Chapter. It airs this Sunday on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network at 9/8c. I talk a little about not giving up. I know it will move you.

Here’s a prayer for today: “God help me hold on, help me to get to what I dream of, help me to honor where I am today so that I can appreciate where I will be tomorrow. In Jesus’ name.”

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