Men, I just don\’t understand them sometimes

Yeah aint he fine? But looks don\’t make a woman understand how a man thinks!

This guy that I use to kick it with I wont say his name. He\’s is married but seperated for over 4 years. When he was going through the seperation he would call me  for advice. He would cry on my shoulder, and let out all his pain. I felt so sorry for him, he would do this for days, many times he wouldnt even want to go to work.  That was really my first time seeing a man cry with so much emotion. This man really loves his wife.

I never met her because of course back then during his seperation we were seeing each other off and on for 2 years. I really loved him and knew that he was a good man. You know its funny cause I would sit back and pray on this man to be MY husband one day. I thought I  saw SOMETHING she couldnt see. After many days of almost year of being wrapped up into his life and helping him to move on, he did and with other women. When he told me that he was seeing other women, I cut him off from sex .  He can\’t be with me  knowing that he\’s  with 4,5 other women. Im just not feeling that. So after we stop kicking it like that he would tell me about how he wished that he had his wife and family back. He did a lot of cheating in the relationship. He got caught once and she forgave him. He admitted to me that he had many and plenty of women. When she would kick him out for something that was his chance to go and be with one of them. It amazes me that if she did know , she never said anything to him about it, but if she didnt know, thats a shame too. Because she left him because he was selfish, which I found to be so true. HE just wasnt into making the family #1, he ran the streets never with his boys, but with women. He loves to dress, and loved his kids dearly. I neve met a man who loved their kids as much as he did. I know men love their children, but this man had his them on his mind all the time.

Well as time went on I told him that the only way for him to get back with his wife is to start going to Church, invite her and the kids. She didnt want anything to do with him, she never even wanted to hold a conversation with him. I remember she told him one time when I hear you voice I have use the bathroom. He  even got so  jealous of her new boyfirend that he beat him so bad that even he was left bleeding. I was mad at him for going over there and starting mess.

See my friend coudnt take the fact that when HE cheated, but she didnt know about that. But since they are not together and she got herself a new boyfirend he was in plain view. As long as my friend could do his dirt and she not know about it, he felt that he had a right to beat her boyfriend up cause he KNEW about it. I didnt like that one bit and I told  him how wrong he was for it. As time went on he would never take his female friends around his wife. HE would see him and her man around town and have a hissy fit after words.But he never put his hands on the guy again, but he sure did itimadated him.

A few years later my friend was finally over the break up of his wife and had many serious realtionships. He was on top of the world. He wasnt crying anymore, he wasnt doing as many ridebys to see how and what kind of car that was in the drive way. He still ask his kids questions about her, but even they became tight lipped. He drives a truck for living he had his own place, was having company over, even he and his wife started speaking again. I was really happy for him, he deserves happiness.

There was one thing that me and my friend would constanly go head to head on. She kept asking him for money to feed and help clothe their kids. He would make all this money and give her 100 here and 75 there. I told him that if she went to court that would tear your butt up. He wanted to wine and dine the women, go get sharp and buy all these \”fresh\” clothes, he hada brand new car, a house, house had the things it needed, and his son came to stay with him. His wife needed help keeping the house she was in, and was losing htat battle. She would call him to askfor money, many times he wouldnt give her nothing saying that \”you got that nigga living up there with you why do you get hin to help you\”. I would tell him those are your kids, it aint her business or his to take care of YOUR kids. I told him you just hate to see a man in your house with your kids, I said those kids are your responsibility. I was so mad at him. He gave her what he wanted her to have, while he buy clothes, go to concerts and spend money on dates.

Recently she had to move up out of her house because she coudlnt afford to stay there, so she moved in with her mother.

My friend came to visit me, while looking for something in his truck, I was about to ask why are all your things in here. BEfore I could even open my mouth he said I moved out of my house! Im like whatttt …….what happened? He said I couldnt afford it anymore, Im staying with my momma. Im like what…….. you are lying. HE told me that his wife is getting $250.00 a WEEK from child support. That blew me back.  That is a lot of money. Thats $1000.00 a month. I said with her money from work ( she drives a school bus )and yours, she can do big thangs ( lol I said this  in my mind).

Just 2 days ago he called me and told me that he senn his wife when he went to take his daughter back home. And that he asked her since their son (15) was stying with him for almost 2 years can he have back some of the money she gets weekly. HE said she told him yes. So now he\’s all happy. So I said to him, well what about the 2 years when he wasnt styaing witih you, and you knew she needed you, but you didnt give her much or nothing at all? I said that one child dont make up for those 2 years with her having the OTHER 2 of yours.

Now Im going to sum this whole story up.

 He was a cheater while he was married, she never knew or found out about 95% he was slick. She didnt want to be with him so she got a new man, he couldnt handle it because he had never seen or imagine her with someone else. When she needed money to  help with the kids, he gave her little or nothing. He had control, she kept it all in and dealt with his selfishness. HE admitted that he loved when she needed his help, it showed that he was still needed in her life. She had to move out and live with her mother, child support kicked in and she had an increase of $1000.00! Wow! His income decreased $1000.00. HE couldnt affored rent, his new car, and his women, she now he is also staying with his mother.

Now you tell me……………………. does God like ugly? It may have taken my friend over 4 years for all of this to   come to a head but its here. And guess what? Now she is going to give him money to survive.




Thank you!


     Thank you! Thank you for making me different from everyone in the world. Thank you for making us all different in all areas. Thank you for hand picking the best brother and 2 sisters any one could have. Thank you for the best parents in the world.

I want to say Than you for the skies in which I look at daily. How beautiful they are. For all the times when I just wanted to give up and leave this world. Then here you come (smile) and bring a reason for me to be here another day. Thank you Lord for being so unselfish with the child you gave me 19 years ago. I promised you Lord that I would take care of her to the best of my ability.

 I said to you that if you gave me a gurl she would grow up to know you. I didnt know then that I should\’nt have said what I\’d do if you gave me a gurl, but Im so thankful that you knew that I didnt know any better.  She is in college, she wants to be a Lawyer. She is so focused and loving her classes. I am so proud of her Lord. And just today I was telling you thanks, and that what ever you call her to be, Im glad its  your will. I have raised her to treat eveyone nice, even if they dont treat you the same. I even told her that if she finds her self not being treated well to forgive them and exit them out of your life. There\’s no need to stay in that realtionship especially when it could cause you to sin somewhere soon down the line.

Lord thank you for having a roof over my head, a car in the drive way, and a job to go to in the morning. I see all the things that you do for me, and I so appreciate it very much. Thank you Lord.

Lord, I know you are so dissatisfied for the lack of focus I have shown. I didnt  realize that you must have goals in order to move on to the next step. And you know I can believe that too, because when I set out to do something, I always end up doing it.

Foe example: Next year in July 06 I am planning to go to ATL for a whole week. I am so focus on going to meet the Ladies of Pearls-of-Wisdom that its funny. So with saying all of that. I have set a goal to be wearing a pair of black jeans that I havent been in for over 3 years. So Lord I now know.

Lord, I love you very much. I cant wait to see you and kiss you and hug you. I am just excited to know that I have a choice to do right. Even though I dont always choose the right path, you are always there for me, and you always send people in my path to show me that I was wrong. I love that about you, becuase it seems as through you are always paying me some attention.

People often ask: How do you know when God is speaking to you? You will know his voice if you spend time with him. Just like a kid who is calling their mother in the grocery store. She will anwer \”HUH\” in a instant  heartbneat because she knows her child\’s voice. There can be 25 women in the store, but that one woman knows the sound of her own child. Thats because she has spent time with him/her. Children also will know their mothers voice the same as if she was calling them in the store. So when a person spends time with God, when he speaks to them……………..they know his voice.

Lord, in closing. I want to say that I love you. I have so many subjects to write about, and your love never stops. I Thank you.