Posted on

Entry for January 16, 2006

Hey,

 Whats up out there? Whats going on? Well this weekened has been a very exciting one for me, kinda busy, I have a pounding headache round bout now, but Im still here. Thanks to God. A special Hello to KD for always reading, and for being the best blogger out there! Simpalicious for being a true friend. Always ready to listen. Thank You.

Tomorrow is back to work, I had 3 days off. I swear Im going in tomorrow and Im putting in for a week leave of absence. I just need a brake, too bad its not vacation time I would take my 2 weeks and be out, and then start on my personal hours lollll. Im so serious. I need to get away.

Today I was talking to my friend Charlene of 18 years. She’s a Leo, we’ve had some good times and we’ve had some bad times, but out of all my old friends, she is the one I love most. I love them all, but she is the purest, the rarest any one you could find. I really love my friend. If we don’t talk for 4 weeks, we can always jump back into the same grove of our friendships.

 

I say that to say, if you have some boot leg, jealous, insecure, who cant be a friend to the people in their lives before they met you, then you need to clean out your closet and get rid of them. Its time out for that mess.  And on that note, Im feeling good and ready to move on into what God has called me to do.

Lacrease

 

 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Posted on

People get on my nerves!

Hello Blog! ( are you a person?)
 
    Well today was not a good day! People irrated me, and get on my nerves. I am not a nice person today and I can admit that. I chose to be alone right now, because what I am feeling could spread. My daughter saw it in my eyes and my body expression when I came through the door. I cant shake it and I don’t think I want to shake it. Im in one of those funks where I want to stay here for a minute. Sounds familiar. Sometimes I like to write from these places to let out my feelings, and I know that others go through and feel the same way at one point and time of their lives.
 
It stared today at work with all these different rules. I work for Walmart and I cannot stand different rules to apply for that day, or the way management feels. I am a person who finds out what works for the system and use that. But at work its a new rule everyday, makes me know that I am working with unstable people. I have come to admire and accept change in anything, but my job……………………………..they get on my nerves.
 
Today Im working the 12 items or less lane. Keep in mind the counter is tiny, no belt to pull the groceries down or nothing. And thats cool because………………………………..its made for 12 items or less right? Well, Im ringing up people and I look in my line and there are people standing there with goo gobbs of groceries, and Im like “Ahmmmmmmmmmm excuse me maam but ahmmmmmmmmmmmm this is 12 items or less”. And she says “Oh I didnt know that”. So my coworker who is working the lane over from me, says “Oh Debbie took the stickers off all the 12 items or less lanes down here. Im like what??? that’s why all these people in this lane with all these items and the people that are use to using these outer registers are down here staring at me like “dang aint she gon say something to these people”. So I looks at the sign for myself and yelp, its gone. Our store manager removed the signs. So Im pissed. People are staring at me, people are getting into it with each other because they are ready to leave.
 
So for those who knows me………………I dont talk to the other cashiers or run my mouth about things, so I went straight to the Debbie and said “May I talk to you for a minute are you busy?” She reads my facial expression and stops in her tracks, and says No im not busy go head.” So I say Debbie did you take the 12 items or less sticker down from those lanes down there? She says yes, because blah blah blah and yada, yada, yada. So Im looking at her like hurry up and finish so I can say my little bit. So I say well Debbie, its hard to work that lane when people are use to that as being 12 items or less, and people are getting in that lane with 2 baskets full of stuff and there is no room with only 3 bag spinners. I said and on top of that people are staring at me like “hurry up”! I have to go and get an extra basket to put that stuff in, and while Im ringing the 3 bags are filled up, and instead of the customer getting a basket and putting that in the cart, she is steady trying to put groceries on that little as counter. I WAS SO IRRATED! So she goes into all this stuff I dont understand, cause I look at it like this. Im the cashier, you are the manager, dont sit your ass in your office with all these MAN MADE ON THE SPOT rules that don’t apply to you, BUT to me the person who has to deal with the customers. I feel if she took that sign down that was there since the store opened 5 years ago, and she just been here 5 months (if that much) then you are trying to say something different from what was on that sign. Right? If she agreed to that sign, then she wouldn’t have taken it down. Anyway she saw how I wasnt feeling her. I have learned to make UGLY faces before I open my mouth and say something foul. Then she says do you understand? And Im like NOPE. She wanted me to get it so bad, but I wasnt feeling her, and the way my face was looking told her to just stop talking, cause Im never going to understand her decision, especially if she aint the one working that lane.
 
I have come to the conclusion that I have rules in my house, in my car, in my office, in my room. That store is her store. She has her own rules, you can either deal with her rules, or leave the premises. I understand that to the fullest. Everyone have rules as the owner or person in charge of any situation. So, what saying that, if Debbie wants to keep the signs down, thats cool with Lacrease. I cant do anything about it. I even told her that I wasnt trying to change her mind on it, but that I wanted to understand the motivation behind her decision. Im not a person who wants to change a persons mind, but if it in any way effects Lacrease, I want to know the motivation, even if I dont understand it. But the bottom line is we all have rules that we must follow. There is no reason to get bent out of shape about it. Thats why we must always pray for understand, wisdom and knowledge. So for now on……………… Lacrease will not be working from that register again. I feel that if I have to scan the items, put them in only 3 bags, go and find another cart to put those bagged items in as the customer fills the counter up, then I have to go back and start scanning, put 3 more bags into the cart and repeat this routine over and over and over with the same customers, than I rather you put me at a register with a long belt, and 8 bag racks. Lets stop playing! I dont have time for that mess.
 
((((( Deep Breathe))))))
 
Then this woman came through my line and asked me how many batteries does this thing take? Am Im like maam I dont know you have to look at the box! Thats just deep to me, you sit here buy this stuff, and right on the box it will tell you all the things you need, especially batteries. It was just amazing how people expect for you to know about all the items you ring up. Then this kills me they say. ……………… “Maam I left my bag…………. YOU didnt give it to me!!!!!!! And you know me. I said “Maam…..NO YOU LEFT YOUR BAGS………. YOU DIDNT PICK THEM UP!!!. You paid your money and walked out without your grocerys. I always say, I grab my grocerys when I shop!!! And I say it in a way where they laugh. Whats the use in saying something and they dont receive it? I am sarcastic, but I say it in a way where you understand where Im coming from. Cause you just aint gonna blame me for YOU leaving your groceries. But do you know when you say that to them, they get mad???? They rather blame you. Thats just deep. Just admit that you forgot your dayum bag.
 
Thennnnnn this gurl come through my line taking forever. I am a fast cashier. I ring fast, and I pay attention to everything I ring up. Every now and then I may not hear the beep and ring 2 times, but I always catch it. But this gurl got on my nerves so bad, till I rung her stuff up so fast it made her head spin.
 
 She wanted to ramble through her items in the basket, and there are 50 people in line behind her. Im like gurllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll if you don’t hurry yo ass up!!!!!!!!
 
Then she wanted to talk to me, as if I am Amening her behavior. And you know me………..nothing saying a word, not responding, no eye contact, and face looking ugly. I cant sit up and talk with someone who is taking their time as if to say……..its my time, forget all yall, its my money, my merchandise. NO! You cant do that in my line, you can’t act like you’re the only person who needs ringing up, you cant act like its just me, you and your stuff. NO, you will not treat my customers like that. Then when she realized how I never responded to her “game” she decided to take a looooooooong time getting her items off the bag turner. So you all know me by now, I grabbed a whole stack of bags, and rung up the people behind her. Then she just wont go away. She asks me if I can page her daughter to the front. Im saying to myself…………..she just wont be done.  I never looked at her, but I ask my coworker if she could page her daughter for her, because I didn’t have a phone at my register.
 
Whew people can work my nerves sometimes. But you know as I look back on my day, I know 90% of my bad day was me. I am sooooooo friendly, I love kids, people, but today I was off the hook. Now in my good day, I wouldn’t have a story to tell because I handle everything in a positive way, even if they make me mad, I can always see light in the situation. But today…………………………it was not a good day for Lacrease.
 
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Posted on

Take my breathe away ~~Sound track from Top gun

Hello Everyone out there?
 
 Well, guess what my friend called last night. I talked to him briefly, but made it my business to return his call today. I left him a message, but maybe an hour later afterward he called but never listened to it. So that told me that he was thinking about calling before he even knew there was a message waiting. Well, anyway we talked and had a good conversation about school, and his experience of living below his means. He is a very professional person and loves to dress. So IM saying to myself. I am a plan Jane gurl who is not into being “sharp” but being clean is my thing. As long as my clothes are clean, I don’t care. So after we talked about clothes, we talked about colleges and how neighborhoods that he grew up in that he would never want to raise his children. He said that it was hard for him growing up, and that it was also hard for him in school (college as well). We had a really good conversation today. So we started talking about the things we like, so I said to him well, when you are done I too want to share what my likes and dislikes are. I guess I caught him completely off guard to make him say, okayyyy you go first. lollllllll Im laughing cause I threw him completely off.
 
 
I told him first of all I don’t like when a guy come off in the beginning as wanting to have sex. I said Im not into that. I said first of all before I have sex with you (if any) I need to know if you can be a friend! I said that is free you can get that anywhere, and by me knowing that, it just aint happening! He was like okay I see, I understand.
 
 
Later on I was talking to my sister and I was telling her about my friend. And I said you know how you go to a new job, and you have to wait a year for vacation time? I said if we start treating these men like our bodies are like vacation time, then they would know how the procedure works. They wouldn’t ask for sex. I said, they ask for your body like they have been on the job for a year. If you cant walk up in a job and get vacation time cause you haven’t put up any time, then you sho cant get my body for the same reasons. You can’t even get holiday pay inside 90 days, what the hell have you done to feel as if you deserve my body? I mean for real!!!
 
 
You don’t just go asking your boss for a raise? Its just like that with my body, you have to earn that. And it aint by talking on the phone everyday either, its by marriage. Its be being together, its by trusting God, its by spending time together, its by being patience with each other, its a combination of things, but in the beginning you dont have it like that boo. And if you understand that early in our friendship, then we will get along just fine.
 
Lacrease
 
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Posted on

January 06, 2006

Hello Blog! (((((lol)))))
 
   Where do I begin? First of all Thank you Lord for this day, for waking me up anyway when the sleep was good this morning. And a special Thank you for waking me up at 11:30 like I needed so that I could take care of some business. Then today I read a message from someone special, Lord Thank you boooooooo. I love you!
 
Work was cool today. My friend didn’t call me today nor has he called me yesterday. Yesssssssss.That means I don’t have to tell you “No” cause it means you finally got the hint. You are one less person that I have to be bothered with.
 
That same day he came into the store, this guy I knew from back in the day came in. We looked at each other and had a short conversation. As Im talking Im looking at him like UGHHHHH, I was intimate with him once and the person I am today just want to take back that night. I mean I just want to walk up to him and say give me  back “my loving”
 
I say that to say, that we as women have sex with these men, and they sooooooo dont deserve to have our bodies like that. I mean what have they done to feel as if they deserve my loving? What have you done SIR to make yourself feel that you can ask me for this? For real tho. And I know that its important to you that you get it because we have different organs, and you grave what I have. So why do we just give up what’s precious to us to them, for you to feel as if you deserve this?
 
That’s why no matter how good this man look, how good he makes you feel, how much money he have. You should keep yourself out of situations where you will be tempted. I have had my days back then when I was “off the hook” sorta speak. And I regret giving my body to these men. But I can’t take it away, but baby you betsta believe that they gets nothing today! I asked God for forgiveness, and have moved on. So when men come on me like that, they don’t know my struggle, and how it just aint happening.
 
Women make sure that when you are in the company of temptation, keep yourself away from atmosphere’s that sex may creep up on you. We must keep on praying for that man God has for us. See, if you are digging a guy, and you are not sexually involved with him, and if he ask you for your body, and you dont give in, but you also noticed that he is still around. That’s a sign to really get to know him. And Im telling you being around him without having sex will build something up so mentally and loving it will feel unreal. I know! And to this day when we see each other out spirits connect. And it feels good because we never went there.
 
Did I mention that my old friend back in the day I was talking about early in this conversation CAME BACK IN THE STORE TONIGHT? UGHHHHHHH STARING AT ME!!!! UGHHHHHH
 
Try it!
 
Well that’s my word for today. God Bless you all and I will be off the chain on this weekend, Im off Sunday and Monday. So expect more for me. I enjoy this too.
 
Lacrease
 
Crease
Pearls of Wisdom
Posted on

January 03, 2006

 

Thank you Lord for another day. Another day for having my arms, legs, feet, hands, lips, teeth, toes etc. Thank you I see what you have done for me and I appreciate it.

Where do I start? Men be cracking me up. Let me just say that. This evening I let this guy who I met at my job ( a customer) come over to visit me. He is very tall 6’7 thick, dark, handsome brother who graduated from Central Michigan University with a BA. I mean this guy has got it going on. I am an addict for tall men okay?? Tyler Perry where are you? For real tho. I love a man with a big stomach, goatee, and pretty teeth. I tell my friends all the time, when I get a man and he his a big stomach, if he lose his stomach IM DISSING HIM! Flat out. He gots to roll up out! ( Not for real, but its something that he must have)

 

N. E. WAYSSSSSSSSSSS ( rolling my eyes) I let him come over, and by him being so tall and dark and thick, his whole atmosphere just did something to me when he walked through that door smelling so good. He didnt know it, but I did. Well, we sat down and watch the Pistons beat Orlando………we are 25-4 YEAHHHHHHHA YEAHHHHHHHA.

So we sat there watched the game he cracked some nuts and we talked and laughed a little bit. Well, before he came over last night we were having a conversation about his ex gurlfriend who upped and left him 2 years ago, and recently she called him from NY and said that she wanted to see him and talk to him. He let her come here last week and he bought her to  my job and I met her. She wants to rekindle the relationship but he is skeptical because she up and left him for another man. Well, we talked about that subject for a long time last night. She will be back next month maybe for good. Well, tonight that was on my mind. I am attracted to him and all, but I cannot put my self in a situation where I know that he wants to get back with her, so the best thing for me to do is be his friend and not to take it any further.

When he came over tonight, it seemed to me that he wanted to have sex. So my thing is okay, what is it about me that you feel that you can initiate  this? I mean I didn’t sit near you, I didn’t touch you, what is  it about me that makes you feel that you can say okay WHATS UP? I just dont get that, and he just dont know that turned me off. It dont take much to turn CREDOG off especially in the early stages of a friendship. He gave me his number a long time ago, and I wanted to call him but I didnt. I like him and everything , but he cant be coming on me like that.

 

Do men respect women who sleep with them in the first night? Do they try women to see where their head is at? I cant wait to see what happens next. This is why Im forming a teens group to talk to young gurls about everyyyyyyyyythang their moms can’t. I mean for real, cause had that me back in the day and he was over, it would have been on and poppin for real. There would have been no way I would have said NO~ TO A MAN WHO FITS THE PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF MY DREAM HUSBAND. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYY he WOULD HAVE LEFT WITH A PART OF ME. roflllll

 

But Lorddddddddddddddd, whewwwwwww had it been for what Ive been through. For the wisdom and knowledge you have blessed me with, your daughter would have been good as got. tonight. FOR REAL.!!!!!!!!!

OK YALL I GOTTA GO THINK. THIS IS NOT A GOOD NIGHT FOR ME IN THIS DEPARTMENT. Im not having regrets at all, but its just that fact that this brother is fine, good conversation, good job, everything going on.

Oh did I mention that he is 26 and Im……………….well 38???

SEE YA LATER

CREASE

 

 
Tyler Perry’s
Madea’s family reunion~ Feb 24, 06
There’s nothing broken that can’t be fixed with love. 

This February, you’re invited.

Posted on

January 01, 2006

Thank you Lord, for letting me see another year! Thank you Lord, you are on my side.  

 

 I know I didn\’t go to Church tonight, but I did spend  New Year\’s with my family. We went over to Darah\’s beautiful lovely home. Oh Lord Jesus I have seen what you can do for me through her home tonight. Lord, Lord, Lord. What a blessing! See that\’s what Im talking about. You keep on showing me all these beautiful things that prayer can bring. Things that I would love and enjoy. Tomorrow I am getting up and Im doing some cleaning in my house. I Thank you for my house, its beautiful too. I know I can stand to be more creative, and Im going to work on that. But Thanks for giving me that ump I needed by seeing her home.  

 

 Work was okay tonight. I went in from 4-8 we closed at 8. Some employees were saying that we had to stay a little after 8 to get the customers out of the store. Guess you know I was at the time clock at 8:01. I feel that if Im schedule till 8, then I leave at 8. I don\’t care how many people are in the store. I had plans, and I made sure I got to them too. If the store managers made sure their jobs were done ,then we can get out of the store at 8. But when you have so many \”plant managers\” pointing their fingers, and supervising, not help getting the job done, then I feel that\’s their fault. I did what I came to do, and then I was out!  

 

  • The first thing I want to work on for this year. Is my tithing. This is very serious to me. God will get his off top, first, its going to be counted just as I do my light and gas bill, my rent and phone. I know its going to be challenging in the beginning, but its okay, cause I have to do it. I have too. I have too.

 

  • Secondly, I have to join a weight support group. I am going to WW on Tuesday, to see what\’s up with a meeting and a plan. This is very important to me.

 

  • Finally, I want to be more mindful of the small things in life. Such as calling a friend/returning phone calls, sending and remembering family and friends BD\’s and being creative in what I do for them. This is something I have to do for myself. I want to be mindful in keeping a clean car, and neat atmosphere in my computer room and desk areas, bed room and entire house. I will be more mindful in those things this year.

 

  Last night I had a dream that I met Tyler Perry. He was so sweet, he looked different, but had that same personality. I even asked him did he know Pearls of Wisdom from his message board, and he was like yesssssss, which one are you?  I said Im  Lacrease. He hugged me and I was so geeked. Then I asked him was this his name *** from the message board and he bust out laughing, saying yessssss thats me. I was so geeked. So somehow Phyllis came in the room, and I whispered in her ear (I was talking loud tho, I remember that) I said Phyllis he said that is his initials, and email address. We laughed and that was it. I pray that I meet him this year. I met Anita Baker, and Gerald Levert last year 2005, and took pictures with them both! Yes both, and now Tyler is the last one on my list to meet. And when we do meet we are going to become friends. I mean real real real good friends, watch and see.  I can feel it, deep down in my soul. Remember I said it first, right here on this blog. Lacrease and Tyler Perry and going to be very close friends for life~!  

 

 Well, Im closing for now, I want to wish everyone a very Happy New Year, and if you haven\’t already, please find God. He is so nice and so friendly, he wants to build a relationship with you. So please if you are reading this blog, remember that from me, to make this year the year you bond with him.

  God Bless You

Lacrease~ P.O.W. ( Pearls of Wisdom)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ThePearlsofWisdom/    

 

 \”I use to say to my parents all the time, I can\’t wait till I get grown and move out. I felt that I could do anything I wanted. Then when I got grown, I started making wrong decisions, and bad choices. Then one day I will never forget Lord, what you said……… Lacrease, you are grown, but you still have to answer to me.\”

 

Posted on

What goes around………………..yelp you guessed it……………..comes around!

Today, I have got to say God has been good to me. See I try to learn lessons from the situation that I find myself in. And then I just laugh at God ( in a good way) cause he is always behind something that concerns me. That’s why I love him so much. When I say he looks after me……………… I mean that. He loves me, and the more he loves me, the more I love me. And the more I want what’s best for me, and so does he.

 

At work, I was the door greeter for the night. And before I started working in Walmart, I would go in Circuit City, Kmart, and act a straight fool on the door greeter if they ask for my receipt. I would put on my clown suit at the register, and cut up when it was time to leave out of the store.

But tonight I…………………. was the door greeter.

This black guy well dressed, older maybe in his 50’s with his wife and some other guy, was leaving the building as I said to him…may I see your receipt please? I can tell from the look on his wife face, that her husband was about to nut up on me. She was reading me and I was reading her, but I was focused on him because he had the receipt so I ………looked at him like “run dat receipt”. He got sooooooooo upset, OMGGGGG he looked at me and wanted to go off, but instead of going off he said “you cant see what’s in my bags if Im stealing, you still can’t see what I got if I show you the receipt.” In just that little time he made me mad.

 

So before anything flared up…………….. God told me to sing. I broke out with my famous one word song…………………..JEEEEEEEEEESUSSSSSSSSS! He looked at me like I was crazy, ……..like where did that come from??? They all looked at me, and I said its better for me to sing Jesssssssssus then to let my flesh rise up. Do you know THAT MAN turned around and looked at me like I was one of his kids, who had just talked back to him? So I was looking at him like yeah I said it………… I started singing again Jeeeesusssssssssss. He stared at me, and then walked out of the door.

 

I had to walk away, because see God knows what calms me down. Thats why you have to have a relationship with God these days. Because Lacrease wanted to get with him, but God who lives inside of me don’t want me to be disrespectful. He dont want me saying anything I want. I had to walk away and say God help me, please God, I even asked him why he dont let me get with some of these people that say what they want to me. Why can’t I get them Lord? Please just let me get them one good time? But after about 2 mintues he brings me back down to reality that it just aint go happen. And once he let me cool down today, I laughed cause its so funny to me. Cause you know its God when you let him calm you down and you cant even see him. I dont always need to go to somebody and need calming down, cause God will be like..you need me Crease? You need to talk? You need some time out? lollll

But you know it goes to show you how you cant treat people any ole way. You have to be mindful that one day its them, but tomorrow it can be you~ My Pastor Edgar Vann

 

Matthew 26:41 (King James Version)

41Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Lacrease

 

Posted on

A Wonderful Change!

Hey!

     Went to work today, got off early, wasnt feeling to well, went to bed and now Im up all night! lol Im off tomorrow so thats cool. Im happy about it.

I am so ready for this new year. I am ready to tithe seriously. I know its going to be hard at first, but I am going to do it. I feel the easiest thing to do is count it in with my bills biweekly. Im going to look at it as a regualr bill. I feel I can pay my bills and not get shut offs, then I know I can pay my tithes.

Weight Watchers sent me an invite to rejoin! Is that confirmation or what? I can pay $19.00 on my first visit and meeting before Feb. Or I can pay $169.00 for 16 weeks. I have to go up there to see what really is going on as far as how as that goes. I am so serious about this. Like I said I am going out of town, I am hoping to meet Tyler Perry , and I have to be looking good. ROFL. So RIGHT NOW thats whats on my heart.

I need to start budging my money better. Im too old to blow money the way I do. My daughter can save and spend money so wisely. She didnt get it from me. I am so proud of her too. She needs to show me for real. For Christmas I got $150.00 and ask me how much is left? I dont even want to talk about it. lolllll Lord, help me. I do have over $75.00 so Im going to really use that wisely.

Im going to get off this blog and get started on some serious ministry for real. Its about to be new year and I need to get it together. Im excited about the things that I am going to be doing. So let me get started on  my research.

 

God Bless You All

Crease

Posted on

Tired

Tired

Christmas was great this year. Went over to my sisters house with all my family, we had dinner we exchanged gifts at my house, and had so much fun being together.

That was yesterday. This morning Im feeling depressed. Guess you cant have all good days. I was reading some of the stories on pandora’s site and it just make me think about me when I was 17 years old. I have thoughts of him coming through my line when he gets out of jail and smiling at me, trying to be my friend as if nothing happened. Im so dumb sometimes. All I want to do is  be nice, but something inside me keeps my guards up. I feel as if Im running sometimes, and Im tired. I want to let me guard down and live. Be happy.

Went over to Gloria’s for Christmas her cousin was there, he like me years ago. We made eye contact tonight, perfect conversation. Being a Lions ticket season holder for 15 years and offering me to go with him next season, for some reason I wanted to say okay and really mean it. Got up to fix me a plate, for some reason I wanted to reach over and kiss him, felt that he needed a kiss as we talked. For some reason it felt right, it felt as he was there to “save me”. His conversations soothe me, the talk of football my favorite sport made me feel connected. Got up to make me a plate, he hinted that he wanted some too. I asked him did he want me to make  him a plate, I did. And it felt good, like we were together. Felt like right. Felt like I was “a wife” not necessarily “his wife” but I had a wifish feeling.Handed it to him, and after wards handed him some foil to wrap some take home food. For a while now, never have I wanted to be of help to a man, unless he was MY man. But it was something different about him, maybe it was me. Yeah it was me.  Does it matter that he is about 15 years older than I. Naw it didn’t matter, because it felt good tonight, felt like right. As I left I rub his back, nice stomach, nice dressed, nice house,  he’s a mason may I add, owns his own boat, takes many trips, single, with grown kids. He don’t have a clue to how his presence made me feel like “more than a woman”. he have no idea that’s what I needed today. So I say thank you. I’ll see you again.

When will the day come for me to show “them” how its done. To fix my husbands plate, and watching his appreciation on his face. When will he come sweep me off my feet and say………….lets take a trip for 2 weeks to Florida. Lets fly to Vegas. Lets book a cruise. Look what I have bought you. Wear this for me. I know that time will come. But how much longer will I have to watch my sisters and their husband/boyfriend play and whisper to each other. How long will I have to look across the table and see them peaking on the lips, stopping only because they feel guilty. When will I stop feeling funny when I’m the only person who is not with someone? When will I be able to climb in the passenger seat, while my husband drive me to and fro? When can I say “ok gurl let me call you back my husband is here”? I hate hearing, so who is your friend? When will the time come when my husband calls me, and tells everyone in the back ground Shhhh be quiet my wife is on the phone! Will I ever hear ……..Im hungry what u cook? Guess only God knows. For now, guess Ill work on me. Work on this body of mines. These thoughts of mines too.

Im closing for now, feeling depressed a little, tired of holidays feeling empty. Tired of this computer. Tired, just tired.

nite

Posted on

2006 COME ON IN!

Thank you Lord, for waking me up this morning. I woke up today and you were the first thing on my mind. You know that because I started praying and was half sleep, that was the best to the point prayer I can ever remember saying. I know you remember what I said, but I don’t really. I dont know why you were on my mind in my sleep. But one day you will tell me.
 
 
I do remember asking you to make sure that I have a good day a work and I did. I was tired and I know I did that lady wrong, but she was so out of order. I did wrong on top of wrong, but Lord for some reason I felt like ( nah) in my mind. Cause she was wrong first. But I know better.
 
 
I know I keep talking about the new year and the things that I plan to change about my life.
 
1. Tithe
2. Appearance ( hair, nails, clothes, body)
3. Weight Lost Program ( join a support group)
4. Better control of my spending
5. Keep my car clean, and my personal space.
 
Those are my top goals for the year of 2006. Its going to be a new year, and Im thinking ahead of time. I have already started saving for my hotel fare for 8 days and 7 nights in ATL. As bad as I wanted to go in it, I wont! I want to save at least $350.00 in quarters, dimes, nickles, pennies, and dollars. Im paying my air fare in Febuary. For spending money, and to rent a car or truck, it will be out of pocket.
 
My top priority jobs for 2006 will be.
1. Layaway a ab rocker
2. Buy that sharp dinette set I want
3. Blog every thing I eat and drink.
 
 
Im on (another sigh……) mission to get this weight off me. This is so serious to me. I am going to meet some people off the site, and we are going to the Mega Fest in ATL. See I have to lose weight. This is not a game, or joke, this is to be taken serious. I can’t explain it any better. When I meet them, I have got to be looking good. I need to lose at least 60 pounds before July 17, 2006. That has to happen. A must. What I plan to do:
 
1. 5 times a week eat subway sandwiches ( lord knows it has helped me since moving in Walmart)
2. Drink water every day, and limit my Pepsi’s and Cokes. There will only be certain times I can be able to drink pop. Period.
3. Pull out my good, good, good excercise in place video and use it, gradually working my way up to complete the tape.
 
Those are my plans to get this weight off. As a matter of fact, Im about to write up a chart and work on it in the next few days.
 
Well Im signing off for now, talk to you later blog.
 
Cre
Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started