Posted on

God Told Me That I Was Getting In The Way With My Foolishness- PT 2/BLOG

IMG_4236.PNG

The following year, my daughter entered High School. She had a good 4 years, graduated, then decided that she would take a year off from school. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I wanted her to go straight to college because I know sometimes when kids take a year off, its hard to get back into the grove. But my baby was determined to go to college. She told me that she was tired, and that she really needed that time off.  I respect that, she broke it down and I got it. I didn’t want her to start a job either, because I KNEW that if she started working, it was a chance that she would get use to the money and never start college. That was happening to so many kids at the time. I made sure she didn’t need for anything.

Often times Nesha  and I would talk about that night God told me that I was getting in the way with my foolishness of who she was going to be. I was very conscience of everything I did, said, and exposed her to.  As I’m watching her grow up, I’m watching GOD work in her life. I’m watching every step of the way with excitement in my heart… asking just what is HE using my baby for? We both wanted to see where God was leading her, and sometimes its not what WE  have in PLAN.

On her way to an Event for her job

nita 4

She traveled in the summer with her dad, and when Fall came around she was ready for College. She wanted to become a Lawyer, so she went to school, did 4 years, and received her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. In her last year she went to work for the 36 District Courts here in Detroit where she worked in Forfeiture. She wanted to learn as much as she  could, so she sat with Judges, Criminal Prosecutors, and Defense Lawyers.  She also sat in the court room for every hearing of our former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.  It was a joy to see her on TV everyday.  Knowing in my heart how she felt about being in the presence of a court room and getting a feel of what she wanted to do. She was so well liked and known around the building for her ambition to learn. Several Judges wanted her to leave her department to work for them. She did. But as time passed, she started seeing in the court room how things were done and had a burning desire to help Women, Seniors and Children. She felt as if her need was elsewhere at that time, other than in the court room.

During that time, she helped me to put together The Feeding The Homeless Projects, and also my Youth Group Raisingurls To Women in my home. She enjoyed it and was a big help, more than I could ever explain.

She would always say Momma, I’ll go back to school later to become a Lawyer, but  right now I want to work with Youth and Family Services. I said baby…. this is YOUR LIFE…. you do what you are LEAD to do. She said I just dont want you to be disappointed. I told her NEVER THAT…. I’m just watching God do his work in you, I have raised you, you’re an adult now, you have your own relationship with God, you do what you want to do in life. With my Blessings (( in her heart)) she started working for a Non-Profit Organization. And when I tell you this gurl is doing her thing. I don’t have enough time to share it all. She went right in (( first job)) in 2012 worked her behind off, that THE CEO made her DIRECTOR OF FAMILY GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT !  Yess!!!!  She’s the Supervisor of 6 Clinicians . And I’m looking at God like…… Are you serious? You’re having me to witness all of this? And I’m so happy that he allowed me to share with her that night at 12 years old, that it was all about her. My foolishness had to end, so that I could focus on her, and raise her up, so that she could be used by him. What JOY I FEEL AS I WRITE THIS. THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU LORD.

Photo of her at 4 years old

IMG_4234.PNG

I don’t get a chance to see her work in person, and I have to make her tell me stories about what she does. She believes in helping others and not so much talking about it. But for me, its about seeing what God was talking about. Thanking him for getting me together so that I could raise her properly. So she shares some. But last week, I got to see for myself. We had planned to do a little shopping and get something to eat after she was done at work. She told me to pick her up at 5:00 but someone called and needed food and personal items because she didn’t have anything to feed her son. I told her that I would be there EARLY anyway (( I wanted to see the person)), the young lady jumped out of the passenger side of the truck and ran in the building. My daughter hand her this huge box full of food and items. It made me cry. This lady hugged my daughter so tight and kept Thanking her. I sat in the car saying to myself God, this is what you were telling me? Seeing my daughter help someone who had NO FOOD FOR HER SON… just did something to me. I thought my daughter would be putting criminals in jail, she’s putting food on the table for those we are in need. It made me cry, seeing this in person. She was just 12 years old, here she is 30 and I’m just in awe of God.

252883_10150200651766530_505101529_7034039_1118326_n.jpg

This week she started school again!!!! She wants to go higher in her field. She wants to be a Therapist, its funny because they say Criminal Justice cross paths with it, so now to her it make sense why she switched off from wanting to be a Lawyer. Her boss told her, go to school….. bring me the bill! Wow amazing!  

When I tell you my daughter takes care of me…… it brings tears to my eyes. The gifts, the thoughts, the appreciation is over whelming sometimes. Because all I wanted was for her do what SHE wanted to do, and for me to see WHAT IS ALL THIS GOD WAS TALKING ABOUT. I SEE IT FOR MYSELF… Never in a million years when I did my Feeding The Homeless Projects  that she was watching in the background. Never knew that what she was helping me with… SHE RUNS AND DIRECTS. Below is her being honored here in Detroit by city officials, and other members and staff personal all over the city. It blew my mind to hear all of these kind words, and to REMEMBER WHAT GOD REVEALED TO ME THAT NIGHT!  And there is so much to come, and if The Lord say the same.. He’ll let me be here to SEE IT! AMEN!

ALSO, A Happy Happy Birthday to HER today (( 31)) September 3.. and I turned 50 TODAY AS WELL!

Chopin Script Regular

 

 

 

Posted on

God Told Me That I was Getting In The Way With My Foolishness PT 1/BLOG

Image result for trusting god

 

I was in my early 30’s when I was temporary SHUT DOWN ..by God.

Growing up we would have our water, lights and gas shut off and then turned back on, and I hated that. I said that when I “got grown” I’m going to make sure that I pay my bills off once it comes in the mail. And I made good on that promise. All my adult life, I hated to “pay” on a bill because it would catch up with the next month, and seem like it would be double. All my friends use to ask me why not just pay on it, but they didn’t know  the promise I made to myself and why once I was grown. Still till this day, I do NOT pay on my bill, I pay it off COMPLETELY.

One day, my car went down, I had to get a ride to work with my co-workers. Then right after that, we all lost our jobs due to selling of the plant we worked. So, that meant if I didn’t find work soon, my  home services would be cut off. Well, even though my cable was still on, my lights and gas went off because they were on the same electric company. Oh, I was DEVASTATED! I had NEVER in my adult life experienced all of my services being disconnected at the same time. It was cold outside and I couldn’t let my daughter stay in the house with me, so I took her to my parents house and let her stay over there until I heard from God.

I knew he wanted my attention. I have a relationship with him and I KNOW when he needs to speak to me. He knew how I paid my bills, he knew that if everything was turned off, that he would get my attention. He knew how to shut me down, and I KNEW he wanted to speak to me. I lost my job, so I got up in the daytime when it was warm to call around for job openings, and at night I would lay down to think and try to hear from him. My daughter missed her daily routine of how we did things at home and even though she enjoyed being with my parents, she started doing bad in school. I didn’t know it at the time, but I knew her behavior had changed and I didn’t like it one bit.

Nights turned into weeks, and still no word from God. I remember asking people who I knew could help me get my services turned back on, and they turned me down. I was SO MAD AT THEM. I remember writing it all down, so that I would never forget it. Weeks turned into a month and even though it was warming up outside, It was still cold at night, and I had not heard from God.  I wanted to hear from him to see what this was all about so that I could get back to my normal life. What was my normal life? Well, let me share.

There was a time  when it was all about me and my daughter, we would go to the movies weekly, go shopping, out to dinner all the time. Her dad took her to Disney World- Universal Studios- Island of Adventure, and I took her twice… yes a total of 3 times as a child. Her cousins would come over and spend the night, and she would go over to their house. By the time she was 13 years old, she had been to New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cincinnati, Florida…  several times with her dad. She loved to travel.

We slowed down going to the movies,  Church every Sunday,  dinner,  and doing things we were use to doing together. It was only her and I.  I was preoccupied doing other things. I started drinking all the time with my friends, having male friends come over at night when she was sleep, talking on the phone all day.  I was going out every single weekend, making sure I was looking good, going shopping EVERY FRIDAY I got paid…. I was something else. So, when my services were shut off, and I KNEW that paying bills was important to me, this was something bigger than paying bills. This is how God got my attention… I knew it….and I was listening.

Days and weeks went by, turned into a month and I was praying, crying, wondering, scared, thinking… I wanted to know what this was about. Why hasn’t God spoken to me yet? One night I went to my parents house to see my daughter and my dad had been playing the Michigan State Lottery since I was born. Every night when it came on at 7:32 pm… he wanted the house QUIET! NO TALKING. He wanted to see what numbers fell, read what he played, then we could talk. LOL Earlier in the day before I had even got there, I had been seeing this one number straight, like ALL DAY. Everywhere I went I saw this number. It was unreal to me. Well, that night in the lottery it came JUST AS I SAW IT. I got up from the family in TOTAL SHOCK and went into the kitchen alone to ask God why did that number come in the lottery? I said you know I don’t play the lottery, so why did it come? He said to me… I know you don’t play, that was to show you that I haven’t forgotten about you and I’m ready to speak.

I went home alone that night to a cold house, and even though he didn’t speak that night, he spoke the next day.

He said. ” La’Crease, the person that Nesha is going to be.. YOU ARE GETTING IN THE WAY WITH YOUR FOOLISHNESS”. I remember so clearly saying….  Who me? What I do?THIS IS ABOUT NESHA?. NESHA? NESHA?… my daughter? He said YESSS, you’re sleeping with men at night, talking on the phone all day and night, you don’t do anything with her anymore, you have totally neglected her, her grades have suffered. You spend all your time with these men and your friends. He said.. You are getting in the way of who she is going to be with YOUR FOOLISHNESS!!! I felt so bad.  I was so SHOCKED. People ask me how do you know that WAS GOD? I said would I TELL MYSELF THESE THINGS? WILL I SIT THERE AND HEAR MYSELF TELLING MYSELF THIS STUFF? WHO DOES THAT? NOBODY!!! This was not ME saying all this shocking stuff to myself. WHO OVER LOADS THEIR THOUGHTS WITH THEIR OWN SINS? These things were  furthest from my mind.

I started thinking about how true every word was. All I could say is God.. I hear you, I’m about to  change my life!!! He meant it, and it wasn’t talking about next week either… he meant NOW! I was so out done. I was done. I thought all that time he wanted to speak to me about ME, and blessings coming, and new place to live, new car, bills paid, husband.. all this other stuff. LOL LOL  LOL its so funny.. so so sooooo funny NOW.. What a naive person I was. One thang he made clear…… YOU BETTA CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND NOW!

I heard him LOUD AND CLEAR… he didn’t have to repeat himself. I got up that next day, made some phone calls and all my service was turned on in a few days. Help came from everywhere. I went and got my baby from my parents, that’s when I found out that she got F’s on her report card. I was mad a little, because my dad and daughter hid it from me. I promised myself that I would get all her grades up by next report card to A’s and B’s and that’s what I did. My car got fixed, and I got a job. I stopped talking on the phone all together. I HATE talking on the phone, if you know me, you know I hate it to this day! I’ll text, but I dont like talking on the phone and people respect that.

I cut off all my male friends sexually.. 18 years STRONG TODAY… yeaaa I know. But it’s worth it. I started spending all my time with my daughter and I was soo Thankful that God stopped Me from Me. I couldn’t wait to tell her what God had told me, she was waiting to hear it too. When I told her , she was just as shocked as I was. She was only 13 years old when this happened. All she kept saying is momma what am I going to be? I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t know the answer. All I knew was that she wanted to be a Lawyer. I knew that I had a special child. I knew that I had to stop all my foolishness. I knew that God had a plan for her life and I had to STEP ASIDE. I knew that God was serious and that he planned on using her, we just didn’t know how. I straighten all the way up, and its so funny now, she always tease me and say .. “Didn’t God whoop you over me?” LOL LOL WE LAUGH.. WE LAUGH.. WE LAUGH!!!!

Tomorrow, I will share where SHE is 18 years later.… GOD IS TRULY FAITHFUL!

Chopin Script Regular

 

 

Posted on

Life Lesson- Glad I Got A Chance To See Mom Cry/BLOG

Image result for life lessons

 

Growing up, I remember so clearly my mother crying many times after hanging up the phone from taking care of business.

My mother was the type to kinda “go with the flow”, when it came to her business over the phone back in the day. If it wasn’t anything immediate she would take what ever they told her, but when it  came to something she needed done now, she didn’t know the right questions to ask, and when she was rejected she’d cry and it would make me so MAD.

Can you imagine how I felt as a child, a person who knew how to express herself, knew what kind of questions I needed to ask in order to get business taking care of and couldn’t help or offend my mother? I hated when she cried. I remember saying, “When I get grown aint nobody gon make me cry”. I think back on this Life Lesson and I’m glad I got a chance to see her cry, because it helped me to learn how to take care of business. It made me strong to where I learned ways to communicate in order to get things done without cursing anyone out. Simply by knowing the right questions to ask.

When I got my first place, I remember thinking, I’m a mother now. I have to make arrangements over the phone, ask the right questions to get my business taken care of. I remember writing down questions I needed to ask before I made my phone calls, and each time they were answered AND UNDERSTOOD by me, I would go on to the next. If I didn’t understand I would ponder that question 3-4 different ways in order to get a true answer. I thought to myself, there is no way in the world that I’m going to hang up this phone and not have made progress. In person….. I’m nothing to toy with. I’m very very friendly and this is why I will not accept anything less than my business being taking care of.

I prefer in person, eye to eye contact. That way a person can understand MY ENERGY, MY PERSISTENCE, MY DIRECTNESS. I never ever ever, ask a person to go beyond the company policy to accommodate me. If you can do it, DO IT. Don’t give me the run a round, because I do ask for names, badge numbers, and phone numbers to your extension just in case I need to ASK MORE QUESTIONS. I’m not a pest, because I don’t want to stay on the subject no more than you do. If I’m speaking with you over the phone and I feel I’m not getting answers… TRUST AND BELIEVE…. I’M ON MY WAY UP THERE TO SEE YOU FACE TO FACE. I will never curse anyone out, and if that person cant/wont help me, then I’ll talk to a supervisor. Even with that, I ONLY talk to people who can get me results. PERIOD.

I watched my mother cry too many times in my childhood days. But I must add, TODAY.. .my Mother DO NOT PLAY. LOL LOL She says she learned from the best. All of her kids (4) are great communicators and baby when I tell you now…. SHE WILL EMBARRASS YOU, because she knows how to get her point across. Sometimes I have to walk away if we’re in a store or place of business LOL LOL . She wont stop until she get her questions ask. Its so funny because she has come along way. I’m proud of her.

image

Chopin Script Regular

Posted on

Sharing Your Deepest Secret To Help Someone/BLOG

Image result for sharing a secret to help someone

 

I know a lot of people, and sometimes when they share life their lessons with me, I most times will share a similar story about what I’ve been though. Opening up about some of the things a person has went through can be painful. But its always helpful that the person you’re sharing them with can relate.

I remember a time when this young gurl came through my line when I was working as a cashier. She was pregnant, and when I  asked her when was her baby due, she told me that she was going to have an abortion soon. I was horrified! I was horrified because when my baby was just 3 months old, I found myself pregnant again at 19 with my second baby, and in my mind there was NO WAY EVER, I was going to have that baby. I told my first daughter father, and he told me that what ever I wanted to do he would support me. I didn’t  tell my family because I didn’t want them to talk me into having it, because I knew they would. In my mind I felt embarrassed, and I felt that I wouldn’t be able to take care and handle 2 kids. So, I had an abortion and never told ANYONE.

There I was in my early 40’s talking a young gurl out of having an abortion something I wouldn’t let anyone talk me out of. I told her that I felt the same way at her age.  I felt that I couldn’t take care of another baby and that it wasn’t even up for debate. But, she let me talk to her. I told her, look, you CAN take care of this baby, it seems as if you cant right now, but had I depended on God a little bit more, I would have my baby in my life . I told her that the person I am today.. I HATE that I had an abortion. Back then I didn’t know that I could make it, but now I know that I could have. I begged her to please have her baby, because I knew it would bring her joy the moment she laid eyes on her/him. I didn’t know what her final decision would be, but I know she heard and listened to me well.

One day I was having lunch in the Subway inside of the store. This young lady came up to me with a baby in the stroller and said with a huge smile, do you remember me? I looked at her and said, you look familiar, but I don’t. She said I’m the gurl you talked into having my baby, and here he is! I just burst out crying. I was so emotional. She said THANK YOU SO MUCH for talking me into having my baby, she said now every time I look at him, I feel bad for having that thought. She said he brings me joy and makes me happy,  said I don’t know what would I do without him. I was so happy and very emotional. I told her how hard it was for me to share my story with her, because I was ashamed for so many years, but I didn’t want her to turn out like me. To live with regret years later wondering what sex my baby was, how would he/she fit into my life today, and the biggest thing, KNOWING NOW, that I COULD have made it with God by my side. She said because of you, my baby is here. She was so happy and so grateful for that talk we had. She was a complete stranger. Wow, I wonder where they are today.

Sometimes we have to give up our deep buried secrets to help someone. I wanted to take my secret to the grave with me, but  God wouldn’t let me. What I went through I didn’t want her to experience. I was in my early 40’s, and had healed from it. I was at a place in my life where I could talk about it, and wanted to share it with someone to help them. Thank you Jesus! Thank you!

Chopin Script Regular

 

 

 

Posted on

How I Gained Back My Self Esteem/ PART 2/BLOG

Image result for self esteem

I was 24 years old (( 6 years in)) when I FINALLY came to my MIND. When I started talking to God about what I was going through. I thought that I would never get over my daughters father. The more sex I had with him, the more I loved him. That’s when I found out that SEX was the soul-tie that kept my mind on this man. The first thing I learned I had to do was, stop the sex. It was so hard. So so so very hard. Every time I saw him, we were a magnet and I had to give it to him. I knew if I could just stop the sex then I would be able to get over him. Sad thing about it,  I knew in my heart that he had to do something terrible to me, to turn me off from him, and that would be how I would be able to walk away. Its a shame that in order for me to get over this man, something bad had to happen. We never fought EVER, so I knew it wouldn’t be that, but it was something, and  when it happened…..I knew then that I had to let him go.

I started reading my Bible and separating myself from my friends to be more in tuned with God. I started reading how much God loved me no matter what I did. In my mind he was in charge of my LIFE. He was the man I had to please, and that’s when I started learning my worth. I was never a person who compared myself to other women, because it was clear to me that GOD MADE EVERYONE DIFFERENT. I enjoyed and loved the fact that I WAS THE ONLY ONE MADE LIKE ME. You can say, I favor this person or that person, but I was the ONLY LACREASE GOD MADE…and that made me HAPPY. So that alone made me NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want or desire to be like anyone else,  because I KNEW.. that God loved me enough to make ONLY ONE of me, and I love ME.

Then, I had to learn and write down all the things God Blessed me with. I had to read it daily. I had to learn my worth all over again. I had to know it without a doubt. I had to live it. I had to think it, I had to see it ON ME. And here is what I started with.

NOW THIS IS MYYYYYYYYYY LIST…. you make your own list. Remember we are all different.

  • I grew up with both parents in the home, and they helped me with everything I needed.
  • I  got my  first apartment me and my daughter, and a job.
  • I was funny, loved people, loved to laugh and pretty
  • I had a beautiful shape, and wore clothes to compliment my body (( never disrespectful))
  • Had lots of friends and loved the Lord

One of the biggest conclusions IN MY LIFE that God helped me come to was that MEN wanted SEX. What I ( women)  have the men want !!! I had to learn the POWER in it. I learned it was OK to keep it to myself…. its mine. We women don’t have to give it away. Its so much POWER in the vagina. Its not to be shared with everyone. Its yours and all the boys want it. No! No! No! Learn this TODAY! You do NOT have to  give up your vagina.

Fast forward to today. I spend time with myself learning myself daily. Learning my wants/needs and don’t need. Learning things I will NOT ACCEPT. For example.. Married Men.

I met this guy at my job, he comes in often and he calls me “Momma cool”… why I dunno. This man is soooooo fine to me. He’s attracted to me and I’m attracted to him. He’s my type of man IF he wasn’t married. Now, I will NEVER EVER talk, meet, or see this man outside of my job. I will not engage in any conversation with a him or any married man, unless its work related, or God. That’s apart of building my self esteem. KNOWING WHO I AM. My self esteem stays ON 100 because I will not engage in anything not healthy for me and will disappoint God, especially when I know better.When you start crossing lines and doing things out of YOUR CHARACTER, that’s when your self esteem start going DOWN DOWN DOWN. Depression sets in, suicide, doubt , fear all that stuff starts to creep in. Cut off any thing that YOU KNOW is not good for you, because if you don’t you’ll find yourself in trouble. Stay inside of your worth!!! Married MEN ARE OFF LIMITS.. PERIOD! Once you exchange phone numbers….. THAT’S IT!

Take trips. Go to the park alone to spend time with God. Clear your mind. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.. MAKE IT HAPPEN! Go to lunch alone, you dont have to take the kids all the time. Think about yourself. Whats your favorite desert? Go to Dairy Queen alone. Stop feeling guilty because you didn’t take the kids this time.. ITS OKAY. I promise you. Go to Bath and Body Works and buy not one but 4 different scents of lotions, its OKAY. Learn what you like and will  buy the next time you visit. I will book a hotel an hour away from me in a minute! Book a room for the weekend. Have someone to watch the kids… Go alone, make plans to do things while you’re there.

Listen… I will jump in my car and go to the park and sit for hours in the sun enjoying myself. I may have music or I talk to God. I use to be “scared” to go to dinner alone, because I always took my daughter or a friend… YEAH OKAY… I WILL hop in the car and go sit my but down alone so fast. I love getting to know myself. I love me. God made me and there is no one else like ME, and guess what… JUST AS I LEARNED THIS ABOUT ME…. YOU CAN TOO!!! Be your own “to do list”…. life is not about having Sex all the time, sitting on the porch watching cars ride by, going neighbor to neighbor needing someone to go shopping with you. Get to learn yourself, know what you will and will NOT ACCEPT from a friendship, or relationship. Do YOUR own thang in your spare time, and treat yourself. ITS OKAY!!!

Be Blessed!

Chopin Script Regular

 

 

 

Posted on

How I Lost And Gained Back My SELF ESTEEM/BLOG/PART 1 OF 2

Image result for self esteem

When I think about my purpose in life sometimes, all I can think of is that I’m suppose to be helping other women. I say that because no matter where I am, or what I’m doing, women always talk to me, and its usually about their issues with themselves, men, and getting over past hurt.

I can remember so clearly many things I’ve been through, and I’m so happy that I don’t hold grudges at all. Maybe that’s why I can help others because I’ve moved on from so many things, and it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I can talk about it and help others at the same time.

With social media being so popular these days women often compare themselves to others, and that is a NO NO. They look at other women and what they have in a man, and how their body is shaped and they care so much in how to please a man, that they lose themselves. Sex these days is  to show off their sexual skills, and to be one of the first to do things differently to a man to make him feel good. Why are women doing this? Listen, when you start a job, you are a temp. You have to get past 90 days to impress your boss and even more days at some jobs to get benefits. Why are women giving these trial men benefits? What have they done to deserve all of that?  A woman will let a man come and stay with her and her kids after knowing him a month. But a man  will not even think about letting a woman come stay with him. Some of these men just wake up in the morning, and their is a women to do everything for him on that day. He won’t have to do a thing but breathe, and have sex with her. A woman who has no kids at him, living single, will NEVER let a man come stay with her. She loves and enjoys her freedom. He’ll have to have his own thing going on.

Some women are afraid to lose a man,  especially if she feels she doesn’t have a “grip” on him.  Sometimes women feel that if they don’t make happy the man they like, he’ll get away. This is why they’re settling for the man who show  the most attention. Who wants to stay with a man who cheats? Why do women give these men so many chances? Don’t they know that if a woman cheat on her man, and he finds out about it, he will DISS HER IN A NEW YORK MINUTE? Men don’t play that? They cannot stand the thought of another man up in their woman. No way! Women with low self esteem are the ones who give chance after chance, after chance after chance. They’re so afraid of being alone and not ever finding the right man, they will settle for a temporary until better comes along.

In the next blog entry, I will share my story of how I got my self esteem BACK!

Next Part 2.. How I built my self esteem up

Chopin Script Regular

Posted on

Learning your kids PERSONALITY!/BLOG

PRETTYNES

When my daughter was a young gurl, I use to always scream like most parents when they lose it. But after a short while, I realize that she was JUST LIKE ME, she didn’t require screaming. She required that “come here, let me look you in the eye” kinda speech. Screaming made me nervous as it does most kids. It made me cry, and to this day…. I will NEVER tolerate A N Y  O N E screaming at me, if you can’t talk to me in a pleasant tone of voice, then WE’RE DONE!!!. I don’t play that, at all.. PERIOD!

I found out with kids, you HAVE to learn their personality. That’s part of being a parent. Every child is different, and based off how they take things, and how they receive, you have to parent based upon that. When my daughter got home from school. She would speak and go straight to her room. But me as a parent made sure, I called her down to my face and I asked her how was your day? She’s just like me, so you’ll only get what you ask for, you have to ask her specifics… WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? LOL If I’m talking to her over the phone, that’s even worst, Again, its something I learned about her. So, I found out that if I want to know about the mercury scare she had in high school (( real life)). I have to ask her, what floor was it on? Where we’re you? Did you exit out of the front door, side or back door? Was anybody hurt? We’re you scared? What was your thoughts? Do you feel staff handled it properly? This series of questions gets her talking, and she’ll feel compel to share more of what happened once she see’s how it interest me. I had to learn that about her. The point I’m making in all of this is, you have to ask your kids questions. If you don’t they will go to their rooms, hop on their phones and BLOCK YOU OUT OF THEIR WORLD. As they get older, you’ll KNOW NOTHING! Start early, so they know that you’re that kinda parent that ask questions.

Kids already look at us as “OLD” so in order to keep up with them, we have to go to “their world”, we have to learn a few songs of their generations, we have go to see “their” movies, we have to meet their friends, and build our own relationship with them. We have to take them on family trips… out of town. They will remember this when they’re older. Kids take money and time. You want to know you did your best, so that when they’re grown, you won’t have to worry about them taking care of themselves.

Be Blessed!

Posted on

My time in ATLANTA/BLOG

Image may contain: sky, cloud and outdoor

Hey Family

Im home from my trip to Atlanta. If you know me, you know I love Atlanta. I went for my daughter’s family reunion when I was 23 or 24 (( now 49))  and I fell in LOVE. I always said that I wanted to move there. Me and my cousin both kept saying it. This was during the time of the freak nik. When the college kids and others drove to Atlanta and had weekend parties. I remember that year having so much fun, that I came home told my 3 BFF’s about it, and we planned a trip on the spot and went 2 months later. In that trip we took my cousin and she stayed NEVER EVER to return. I hate I didn’t get a chance to see her this weekend when I went to their hotel for a moment.

I lOOOOOOVE to drive, so me and my daughter rented a truck, packed up and we hit I-75 straight to Atlanta. We left at 2:30 am, got there at 4:00 pm. We ran into a accident involving 2 trucks. We didn’t see the accident because it was raining, but so happens when the traffic stopped we were the 3rd car behind it. Funny thing… well not so funny, is that it really wasn’t an accident, the truck slid and to keep from going over, somehow the driver made his truck go side ways and BLOCKED OFF ALL LANES TO GET PASS!!! So we waited an hour and a half PLUS for crews to get there and move the truck out of the way. So that took us a wait.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. We made reservations to stay at one of my favorite places in Sandy Springs. I made reservations back in Feb, but had to cancel that date on June 12, because we were arriving one day later. I changed it, and that was final.

We  made it to Atlanta at 3:30 and on the reservation it said that if you are going to be later than 4 please call the hotel directly and tell the desk clerk. Well my daughter made the call and told her we would be there at 4. Before my daughter could get a word out, the lady said.. “we’re sold out”, and I didn’t see your name on guest list. My daughter knew I was going to be MAD! So she said momma talk to this lady she said we are not on the guest list. So, I grabbed the phone and said Hello, ((( in a low calm voice))) we made reservations in this hotel and I dont understand why you dont see my name in your system, when I have my EMAIL CONFIRMATION RIGHT HERE, AND THE DATE FOR TODAY. I can hear lies in her voice, and right now as I was driving, I’m PISSED…. I’m so mad, I’m about to cry because I drove straight for 12 plus hours and she’s telling me that she doesn’t see my reservation in her system when I clearly see it in my email. Then she says.. well you can call around to our other property to see if they have some available. That’s when my daughter said “why should we have to call around this is your fault?” I told her you know what? IM ON MY WAY! I was DONE  talking over the phone. I wanted to look her in her eyes.

We arrived at 4:00 on the dot!! Before I went in.. God had a pep talk with me because HE KNOW.. I will tear the place DOWN with my bare hands. I always try to have patience with people, before I nut up.

We walked in and she ALREADY KNOW its ME. MY face was twisted and I’m looking at her name badge.  She was on the phone with another property manager trying to get us a room over there. When I’m talking business, I always speak in a low, to the point, voice, with EYE CONTACT THAT WILL make a MAN nervous. I found out that for black people, folks (( blacks and white)) LOVE to say, she had an attitude, she harassed me, her voice was intimidating, she scared me, she cursed me out, she was yelling at me, so I had to learn how to speak when I’m angry, in order to get to the bottom of a situation. She kept saying that I wasn’t in her system, so when I showed her my reservation she looked at it and said.. “OH it says June 12, that was yesterday.. I SAID LOOK AT IT AGAIN.. IT SAYS JULY 12.. NOT JUNE! She looked at it again and said.. Oh. Which even pissed me off even more, because she TRIED to find fault in me, when she knew she was the one at fault.  She held on while the property manager at the other place wanted to speak to me. She gave me the phone and I told him upfront… LISTEN.. I dont live raggedy at home, and I’m not here in Atlanta to sleep in any ole neighborhood and hotel. He said okay maam, this place is not as nice as the one you’re at, but it is CLEAN.. and I do have a room for you. WE left, and went over to his property. When we saw that out house looking place I wanted to drag him in that back office and lock him in the building for 50 days, no water no food!!!! He knew by our conversations and the way We presented ourselves that We wasn’t going to stay in some renkedink hotel. NEVA!!!!  RAGGEDY!!!! I was pissed! 😡😡

Long story short (( cause I’m getting mad all over again)). WE left there and went to 3 hotels before we found one NOT sold out!! Anddddddd after sharing my story we got upgraded to a Suite for FREE. I was just sharing with the front desk clerk because I was frustrated, not even throwing hints for anything. It was deep into the 14th hour of driving and I was tired.

The next day… YOU KNOW THIS VIRGO jumped on the phone and called her manager about what happened…. he seemed to be her friend and asked me, was I going to be there the following week , he would have a room for me.. GTFOH! IM DONE WITH YALL!

But over all, we HAD A GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TIME! YES WE DID!

Image may contain: skyscraper, sky, cloud and outdoor

Image may contain: sky and outdoor

Image may contain: house, plant, sky, tree, cloud, grass and outdoor

Image may contain: outdoor

Image may contain: food

No automatic alt text available.

 

 

Posted on

Always work out//BLOG

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I wish I could get a hold of some MONEY.. I really need to do some important things. Just have to be patience. Things always work out for my good. ALWAYS!

Posted on

Deep Conversations/BLOG

Hey family!

You know if you keep on living you will learn so many life lessons. I have learned a lot, and even if I don’t speak on it, I have. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself for not seeing friendships that was not meant to be, even through the warnings. Ah, the warnings.. SMH. But that is years behind me and again, keep on living and you will learn a thing or two. I’m good!

This week, I was having deep DEEP DeEp conversations with my cousins who are all Sisters about my uncle (( their dad))) who passed away many years ago. He was my dad’s best friend and as we were growing up, even though their mom and my uncle was divorced, me and my sister  would go over to their house and spend nights with them. I loved them and looked up to them, because they are all so pretty, came from a good family, and loved being around us. But all of that time as a young gurl, I thought that they were seeing their dad often, because I did. I was young, so of course I didn’t know anything about bickering ex’s, kids, child support and all of that. I remember my youngest cousin of the sisters (( she’s older than me)) use to always ask me have I seen her dad, and my answer would be yes. I would tell her when he came over, and things like that. She would be so excited to hear my stories. I grew up with both of my parents in the home, so I didn’t know why she was so into asking me questions, but now I know that she was missing her dad. But I always thought they saw him as often as I did.

We were having a deep conversation about it, and come to find out they didn’t see him that often. That sadden me, and told me that things weren’t as it seem when I was growing up. How is it that I’m seeing their dad more than they were? When we talked about it, it made ME feel some kinda way. I learned something so deep. They felt that he didn’t love them the way he should have.  And I know he loved them, but I don’t know how they didn’t feel it. Well, I understand their views. I was shocked. And the funny thing is, these sisters are just like mines, WE ARE VERY VERY STRONG WOMEN, with strong opinions, and personalities . Get all 6 of us together on a topic we split on, and its on and poppin. LOL

Back in the day grown folks business was grown folk business. I told them, that whenever he came over, we went to our rooms, or went outside to play. Even though I saw him with my dad, I didn’t know their business or what they talked about. They felt that just because I saw him, I knew things. I didn’t. I was a young gurl myself. It made me feel some kinda way, because they are all grown women and even though 2 of them haven’t completely healed from the hurt, the baby did. She found closure and I’m happy.

Here is the biggest thing. Even though their mom and dad had a bad divorce, and he may not have been the best dad, he was THE BOMB GRANDDAD TO THEIR KIDS. OMG HE HAD THOSE KIDS EVERY WEEKEND. He loved his grandkids, and even though they are grown, today they still feel the effects of his death.

Now, what my baby cousin was saying (( she’s older than me)) is that God spoke to her concerning the healing and closure that she needed. My grandmother was a young mother who had 7 kids, she wanted to work and be in the streets leaving my uncles and aunts with their dad, and her mother. The brothers were bitter about that, maybe grew up and not know how to be close to their kids, not knowing how to communicate or whatever skills they lacked from not having their mother around. My cousin get that, she doesn’t excuse it, but she feels that with the tools he had, he did the best he knew how. My two other cousins feel that he should have done better and knew better. and to make matters worst, he had a girlfriend before he died who was also very close to their kids, who didn’t offer or give them anything of their dads when he passed away. She had everything. I asked my cousin why didn’t she ask her, she felt that it should have been offered.. NOT HER ASKING. Wow I felt differently about that, but then again I cant say because this is not my story and it didn’t happen to me. I would have asked and listened to her say NO, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, so that later on in life she would feel guilty of holding on to all those things she had of his and not have the man… not to mention he was a Atheist. She’ll never hold or see him again.

In the end, we love each other, and I hope that my two cousins find closure. One said sorry she just isn’t there yet, and I got that. One thing I learned is that things arent always what they seem. You think people are happy and have everything under control, but in REAL LIFE its not that way. I felt my uncle loved them, but he didn’t know how to express love when he didn’t get it from his mom. For me, it made my dad love his family and made sure that we were close, didn’t fist fight each other, and to be there for each other no matter what. Two brothers lived in the same house, grew up and saw things differently. I know in my heart he loved them, I just wish they knew it.

 

Chopin Script Regular

 

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started