Yesterday my mom invite me, my daughter, and niece over for dinner. We had a really good time talking and laughing at the dinner table. We got on the subject of being outspoken.
My niece was sharing the fact that she’s outspoken, but as she shared more conversations I realized that she was more outspoken when it came to asking questions about things she wanted to know. For example giving advice, and sharing personal stories. But when it came down to things that she really needed to outspoken in, she wasn’t. I taught her how to weed out things that wasn’t necessary to be outspoken and so drawn into, so that she could focus on the things that she needed to be outspoken in.
She shared with me that at her dad’s home she has her own bedroom. Someone went into her bedroom and took a few items out, that she saw else where in the home. There are only 2 people who live in the home. When I asked her why didn’t she confront the person* dad’s girlfriend* who went into her room and removed the items…. she felt that since she’s outspoken that it wouldn’t come out right, and that it would end up in an argument. I shared with her… see that was the time to be OUTSPOKEN. Someone went into your room and removed your items without your knowledge and consent. Instead of her being “outspoken” and to the point… but also direct to the person who did it to let them know that its not okay….. she didn’t say a word. This is a problem so many people like her have.
I find people to be outspoken, are outspoken about the wrong things!
I know because I use to be the same way. You cant go into a grocery store and go off on a cashier just because she tells you she can’t help you because she’s on lunch break, but at the same time offered to get you help. But then you get to the register to pay for your things, you stand there for 15 minutes waiting for a cashier to acknowledge your presence while her face is turned towards her coworker talking it up. That’s crazy to me. So many people do this and it drives me crazy. There reason for not saying anything is because ” if they say something ” THAT CLEARLY NEEDS TO BE SAID”, may not come out right”. These people want to say what they want to say… but don’t want to face confrontation when its something personal. Well this is something you need to speak up on. Its stupid to stand there for 15 minutes while someone talks while you need your merchandise rung.
Then I realized….. some people don’t know how to talk to others without offending. They’re so use to being outspoken, they never learned to speak in a tone where people “get it”. They try their hardest not to offend people WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL ISSUES. Its easier for them to be outspoken when it comes to issues that is not their own. I know so many people like this. They look at it this way…. if I tell this person how I feel about my things and I know that I’m “out spoken” even though I’m right, this could end in a heated confrontation. They don’t want that to happen, so they shut down. But when it comes to someone else’s issues and story, they feel its important to be “honest” and out spoken, not caring how the person feels because “they’re telling the truth about it.To them….. when they’re honest its okay to be “outspoken”. But when it comes to their issue, they’re scared it may offend someone. Wow!
The point I’m making is… learn how to talk to others so that they can “get it” and not be offended. Erase the word “outspoken” from your mind. It keeps you in a box to only be that way… when it comes to everybody else’s issue. Learn how to communicate, so that you can get your point across directly, clearly and in a non confrontational way..
Communication is Everything!
*(Continued from yesterday)* Of course I wouldn’t hit an old woman, any one for that matter. But those are the thoughts that instantly came to my mind as she screamed at me while I was in the middle of helping her. I BE DAMNED IF I put up with the Fragrance of HER BITTERNESS,….. she dealt that sorry hand to herself….. I aint about to pay for that……gurlbye.
But the LESSON in it for me was….. that it reminded me of why I left Walmart of almost 9 years in the first place. It reminded me that I was MENTALITY AND SPIRITUALLY maxed out at this kind of customer service work. In order words… being a cashier is no longer for me. She reminded me of all the lessons I learned about dealing with people like her. I have learned to fall back and to allow people to be who they were before they even entered the store. I realized and learned that its time for me to move on from this, and to move into my calling from God. At that point I realized that if I wanted to be a cashier I could easily go back to Walmart where I knew everything, knew everyone, trained cashiers, health insurance, and 401 to match. And did I mention. that I could make one phone call to the one of the 8 WALMART STORE MANGERS ( in different departments) who are my FB friends at ANY TIME to get my job back ? At that point I asked myself why am I here? This is SURELY not extra money. LOL Just because I lived directly around the corner, and shop there daily, doesn’t mean that I should be working there, when I have absolutely no desire at all to do this type of work again. NO, NOT EVEN FOR EXTRA MONEY. I rather work with teenagers who I have to tell 11 times PER STUDENT a day to “go to class”, than to put up with GROWN ADULTS who carry the world on their shoulders, and the only way they feel it should fall off them, is on the LAPS of a cashier who didn’t see it coming………AINT GON HAPPEN. Been there DONE THAT. I rather tell a student 40 times to pull up his pants, than to tell an ADULT ONE TIME….. to not put her money on the counter to put it in my hand, as she would want her change. Its always drama with them….. ALWAYS… even with you’re speaking lessons to them, and telling the truth.
So this morning ( Saturday) I’m going to call him * depends on if this rain stops*… because I really want to talk in person. I want to Thank him for hiring me off the streets and on the spot….. but I must continue the work of the Teens * I never quit my job at the school* and have no desire AT ALL to become a cashier PART TIME any longer. My next destination is to work at a Youth Center… and then MY own. I have to keep it moving…. I can’t go back and revisit “abandon buildings” that once LIVE AND THRIVED in my life. I appreciate all the lessons from working with the public…. but MY job in this area * cashier* IS A WRAP!
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy