Deep Conversations/BLOG

Hey family!

You know if you keep on living you will learn so many life lessons. I have learned a lot, and even if I don’t speak on it, I have. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself for not seeing friendships that was not meant to be, even through the warnings. Ah, the warnings.. SMH. But that is years behind me and again, keep on living and you will learn a thing or two. I’m good!

This week, I was having deep DEEP DeEp conversations with my cousins who are all Sisters about my uncle (( their dad))) who passed away many years ago. He was my dad’s best friend and as we were growing up, even though their mom and my uncle was divorced, me and my sister  would go over to their house and spend nights with them. I loved them and looked up to them, because they are all so pretty, came from a good family, and loved being around us. But all of that time as a young gurl, I thought that they were seeing their dad often, because I did. I was young, so of course I didn’t know anything about bickering ex’s, kids, child support and all of that. I remember my youngest cousin of the sisters (( she’s older than me)) use to always ask me have I seen her dad, and my answer would be yes. I would tell her when he came over, and things like that. She would be so excited to hear my stories. I grew up with both of my parents in the home, so I didn’t know why she was so into asking me questions, but now I know that she was missing her dad. But I always thought they saw him as often as I did.

We were having a deep conversation about it, and come to find out they didn’t see him that often. That sadden me, and told me that things weren’t as it seem when I was growing up. How is it that I’m seeing their dad more than they were? When we talked about it, it made ME feel some kinda way. I learned something so deep. They felt that he didn’t love them the way he should have.  And I know he loved them, but I don’t know how they didn’t feel it. Well, I understand their views. I was shocked. And the funny thing is, these sisters are just like mines, WE ARE VERY VERY STRONG WOMEN, with strong opinions, and personalities . Get all 6 of us together on a topic we split on, and its on and poppin. LOL

Back in the day grown folks business was grown folk business. I told them, that whenever he came over, we went to our rooms, or went outside to play. Even though I saw him with my dad, I didn’t know their business or what they talked about. They felt that just because I saw him, I knew things. I didn’t. I was a young gurl myself. It made me feel some kinda way, because they are all grown women and even though 2 of them haven’t completely healed from the hurt, the baby did. She found closure and I’m happy.

Here is the biggest thing. Even though their mom and dad had a bad divorce, and he may not have been the best dad, he was THE BOMB GRANDDAD TO THEIR KIDS. OMG HE HAD THOSE KIDS EVERY WEEKEND. He loved his grandkids, and even though they are grown, today they still feel the effects of his death.

Now, what my baby cousin was saying (( she’s older than me)) is that God spoke to her concerning the healing and closure that she needed. My grandmother was a young mother who had 7 kids, she wanted to work and be in the streets leaving my uncles and aunts with their dad, and her mother. The brothers were bitter about that, maybe grew up and not know how to be close to their kids, not knowing how to communicate or whatever skills they lacked from not having their mother around. My cousin get that, she doesn’t excuse it, but she feels that with the tools he had, he did the best he knew how. My two other cousins feel that he should have done better and knew better. and to make matters worst, he had a girlfriend before he died who was also very close to their kids, who didn’t offer or give them anything of their dads when he passed away. She had everything. I asked my cousin why didn’t she ask her, she felt that it should have been offered.. NOT HER ASKING. Wow I felt differently about that, but then again I cant say because this is not my story and it didn’t happen to me. I would have asked and listened to her say NO, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, so that later on in life she would feel guilty of holding on to all those things she had of his and not have the man… not to mention he was a Atheist. She’ll never hold or see him again.

In the end, we love each other, and I hope that my two cousins find closure. One said sorry she just isn’t there yet, and I got that. One thing I learned is that things arent always what they seem. You think people are happy and have everything under control, but in REAL LIFE its not that way. I felt my uncle loved them, but he didn’t know how to express love when he didn’t get it from his mom. For me, it made my dad love his family and made sure that we were close, didn’t fist fight each other, and to be there for each other no matter what. Two brothers lived in the same house, grew up and saw things differently. I know in my heart he loved them, I just wish they knew it.

 

Chopin Script Regular

 

Advertisements

Cree’s Ramblings/BLOG

IMG_1261

Hey Family!!! I have lots to talk about tonight!! Lets jump right into it.

I’m a thinker, and this is one I’ve been thinking about for a while. Years ago when I was a young gurl before the age of 14, my dad always told ME.. that I had a sister out there. She was his step mothers  SISTER. It was a huge secret back in the day because at the time he was young and still at home, and if his dad knew this, he would have kicked him out of the house FOR GOOD. So the gurl had the baby, but it was a secret who the father was until later on in the gurls life when people started to talk.

For me…. I always wanted to meet her. I’m very close with my siblings and to find out that I have a sister out there was like heaven for me. I thought about her all the time. Asking my dad questions he didn’t want to answer sometimes. But one day he got a knock on the door.. and it was HER. Not only did she come for answers, but it was also told to her that her mom was raped by my uncle((( by marriage))) , and that it was a possibility that she was his child. My cousins (( his daughters)) wanted a blood test to know either way, but that never happened and it kinda devastated me.

One day she called and said that she was coming to Detroit to visit her family and that she wanted to meet up with me and my siblings at my dad’s house. We finally had the meet I PRAYED TO GOD FOR. I got to see her face to face, stare at her, hug her and just Thank God for that moment. But when she left, we didn’t communicate much at all, and when my uncle who she felt was her dad.. passed away…. she made it known that she felt HE was her dad. I was good with that part. Because I Thanked God for us meeting. God gave me exactly what I asked for… and that was to meet her face to face. But I expected more. I wanted to have a blood test taken, and if she was my Sister start a relationship with her,  my niece and nephews. I feel that I was “short changed” in a way. She decided not to take the test , and I had to be good with that choice she made. Its funny, how God will give you the desires of your heart, but he never reviled  the outcome. Thing is, he comforted me during those days after the meet. I cant be mad at him for how things turned out, because he gave me what I asked for… A MEET. There will always be a “what if” in the back of my mind  when I see her post on FB. I love her and Thank God all the time that I got a chance to meet her. 🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂

Which brings me to Tyler Perry.. another person who I always wanted to meet since I was introduced to Madea. I love me some Tyler Perry and the work that he brings to life on stage and on the screen. But since meeting my sister and having HIGH EXPECTATIONS… I’m good. Not that I don’t want to meet him, I want him to want to meet ME. I’m just not good with expecting something so great to happen (( a friendship with him and my sister as well)) and it not happen. If its God’s will.. it shall be. Other than that I’m Okay. I’m going to sit back and let God do this… I’m out of it. It feels natural that way 🙂 🙂 🙂

I AM La’Crease (( I don’t have to do anything else))

IMG_1182

A Phone Call I Had To Make/ BLOG

 IMG_0018

Last Monday I called my daughter’s dad and told him how much I loved the fact that he and Neisha are so  close. He has 2 kids, Neisha the oldest, and a son 15, by his now separated wife. I never thought a day would exist to see them as close as they are. She loves that man, and he loves her. They are BEST FRIENDS. She told me that she has 2 Best Friends as her parents.

 I’m so happy about the amount of time they spend together, they go out of town together, they go to dinner and lunch all the time, he even goes to her job just to take her lunch. I told her that when she was younger and we’d get into it, he had to have prayed to God that one day he wouldn’t have to communicate with me in order to be close to her. LOL LOL That when she was old enough, he could build his own relationship with her. And that’s exactly what happened. He told me that he loved me and that he is so proud of the way that I raised her. I told him I loved him too, and that I was so happy that he is the Father of my only child.

One thing that’s for sure, and we both tell her all the time. Whatever you do.. make sure you marry a decent man who loves and respect you. A man who doesn’t fight, or mental abuse you, because you know your dad loves you with everything in him, and he will NOT tolerate anything less.

FullSizeRender2

I wrote this to say… sometimes you have to make a phone call to those who are important, to tell them how you love and appreciate them. Things change, and people change. If anything ever happen to me or him, we both know that we LOVE each other and that whatever happened in the past between us is over and done with.

Thank you Jesus for LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. 🙂

I AM La’Crease

FullSizeRender (27)

Daddy’s Little Gurl/BLOG

FullSizeRender1 (1)

Just a moment to share how important it is for a daughter to have both parents in her life. I grew up with both parents married before I was even born… and I’m the oldest. I never knew how important it really was.. until my daughter turned 12. Her dad was always in her life, and it became a joy to watch them talk, laugh and enjoy each other as she became an adult.

For the Christmas Holiday they went to Ohio, where he was born to enjoy family time. She stayed for 2 weeks, but he was back and forth. I love how she talks about him and the love they have for each other. They are so much alike its funny. He says she looks like me and built like me. I say she acts like him, talks like him, and loves to dress like him. Not to mention some days, she’s his twin!!! I can see him clear as day in her. He always speak well of me when they’re together sharing stories of our teenage years. That’s funny because I do the same thing when I’m with her. LOL

But there is one thing.. I tell her time and time again. Make sure that when you decide to get married and have a family that you chose a good man who loves you, and not for foolishness because YOUR DAD DOES NOT PLAY when it comes to you and his family. I tell her this all the time, and she knows this to be true. He may love his women.. but he’s not a fighter, he’s not into debates and arguments. He’s straight up and will not play about his 2 kids (son). He’ll want to meet him, grill him, look him in the eye and baaaaaaaaby have that talk with him. I told Nesha…  make sure he come correct….because your daddy… IS NOT HAVING IT… So.. please don’t bring trouble to his door step by way of a nothing man who mean you no good.

20150105_0123451*cousin in the middle*

That’s another main reason why I love their friendship/relationship because she knows he mean business.  She knows this. Even though she’s a classy gurl…. these men can be tricky. It also makes me smile knowing that her dad will make sure she’s okay…this is one area of her life….. that is out of my jurisdiction. Her dad has her back!!! She betta chose wisely. Because her dad loves her, treats her like a Princess, and adores her dearly . * Click on the photos for a closer view*

FullSizeRender2

Be Blessed!

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,/BLOG

Here is a article that someone shared on Face Book. Had me in tears.. This letter is so beautiful. Father God…. your face is shown in this. 

(IJReview) — A woman named Candice Curry wrote a letter to her ex-husband’s new wife Ashley Parish, and the reception of the letter has been off the charts.

Here is the full letter from Curry’s Women With Worth blog via our friends at Young Cons. Take a look for yourself.

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.

But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.

Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.

My plans were foiled.

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.

You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.

I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her.

You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.

Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.

I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.

I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life. Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.

I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.

Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.

God bless you and I love you.

Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:

“Candice, I don’t know what to say.  I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”

Had a great time with MOM AND DAD/Ramblings (((BLOG))))

creeslips

Today was good day… my dad took me, Nesha and my momma to lunch at their favorite restaurant. They go all the time, today was my first time. The food was so good….I finally got to see what all the talk was about. After wards we went to Belle Isle to sit at the fountain and to take in the beautiful sun and breeze. I have a tan out of this world… on one side of my body. LOL We sat there for at least 3 hours. The ice cream truck came we sat and at ice cream and had a very good time. Life is about living and enjoying your family and friends. Afterwards we went riding Downtown. Many of the streets were blocked off, because of the Jazz Festival . Parking is $20.00 on up…. yes…. they’re making a killin too.

We had a good time together. My dad use to always get mad at me , but since my mom moved into his building on another floor, he says he’s happy because he gets to be around his family more. He was so mean and it was hard being around him, but for the last few months, its been a pleasure to be around him. I come to the conclusion concerning people that…. they are who they are…. you can either ask God to help you “understand” their ways so that you can best get along with them, or not be bother with that person. I get along with people, because I understand that we’re all different. I respect the differences and I love everyone. Things I’m not feeling about a person… I don’t deal with. I don’t want to argue fuss or fight with anyone… I just want to have nice conversations and that’s it. God knows my heart.

I need to start my walking back up.. OMG. I gained a few pounds and I don’t like that at all. So after the Holiday…. its back on and poppin. I love to walk, so that will be a breeze. Okay.. I’m rambling… I’ll be back tomorrow.

BE BLESSED

 

Call a Thing…a thing… @kandi *great post to read* Crees Blog Entry

flhToday as I sit back and think about the episode of RHOA with Mama Joyce. I can’t but help think about how she reminds me of my dad in a way. Growing up and even now I felt as if my mom was really a wife to my dad. She made sure he was taken care of, and since he had his own issues with his mom * that’s another story* he was SPOLIED as far as I’m concerned. We did everything for him. If my dad wanted some water and didn’t feel like getting it, he had 4 kids to chose from to get it for him. Of course as a kid, you can’t wait to “get grown” so that you won’t have to do those things anymore. Little did we know.. what we hated as kids… we end up doing it to our own. LOL
 
 
As we all moved out on our own… my mom left my dad after 36 years of marriage, and all that my dad made us do as KIDS….. he found himself having to do them for HIMSELF and he HATED it. He never imagined having to do simple things like getting water, or running his bath water on his own. He always had us to do everything for him. Now… as adults my dad still have this thing where he feels that we’re suppose to run over to his apartment and do everything for him. And the thing is.. we LOVE him and wouldn’t mind, we don’t care… but the Spirit in which he wants it done… is THE SAME AS MAMA JOYCE and that I WILL NEVER GET WITH. EVER! I understand that Mama Joyce may have some concerns for Todd, or even Kandi’s BFF… that’s normal…. but the SPIRIT IN WHICH ITS DONE IN….. has got to change. The loud talking, ready to fight, cursing, accusations, taking over the conversation, and demanding things to change, when its NOT HER “function” to do so…. cannot continue to happen .. its time Kandi speak up. Speak up doesn’t mean to “go off” or “disrespect” her. I mean in a way her mom understand that Kandi has her own life, and that her MOM has no right to give her ultimatums.
 
 
I say my dad reminds me of Kandi’s mom is because like my dad, you can tell that Kandi was a great child growing up, always did what her mom told her, didn’t want to disappoint her, wanted to please her and make her happy, didn’t want ANY TROUBLE…. at all. Even as a adult making good money, Kandi make sure that her mom is taken care of. Comes over when her mom calls, answers the phone no matter what she’s doing, come over even when she’s not in the mood. Hmmm.. reminds me of how it was with us. I see so clearly where there is going. The cut off point in Mama Joyce eyes, as Kandi being an adult, a mother, a sister, and a soon to be wife * if not already*. Kandi’s mom hasn’t disconnected in those areas. I see it.. I live it. I KNOW.
 
 
I see myself in Kandi so much. Very sensitive. Its funny because my sister could say her peace with my dad in a nice tone, with high self esteem, love in her eyes for him, direct and to the point.. and will hop in her car and go to the Casino and play for hours without another thought about it. Me….. on the other hand. I have to sit back and go over why he’s acting like this, why me, what did I do wrong, what makes him this way… and cry at the same time. But baby something happened this summer concerning my dad and myself…….and I HAVE FINALLY LET IT GO!! * more on that later*
I grew up with my dad. lived in the same house with him until I moved out at 22. HE and my mom was married before I was even born and IM THE OLDEST. He always wanted control… the same as I see in Kandi’s mother. I noticed that if I wasn’t doing what my dad wanted and in a certain time… he wouldn’t talk to me. AND FOR A LONG TIME. I HATED THAT!!!! I was always the one who had to call and make up first. He never called me first. I knew all the things he loved, and when I missed him… I would go out and get those things for him just so that we could be back on good terms…… and we were COOL AS EVER.
 
 
This summer I got tired of that. I got tired of doing stuff to please him…. what I found out was….. PLEASING PEOPLE LIKE MY DAD, AND KANDI’S MOM IS ONLY TEMPORARILY. It wears off. You can bet….. your house and brand new truck….. in a few weeks or days….. there is another situation lurking where there is the need to TEMPORARILY…………. PLEASE THEM AGAIN. August of this year was MY BREAKTHRU..MY TURNING POINT…. my dad was mad at my mom * because she was too tired to take him someplace* when he called me. I took him, and all the way there he talked about my mom… which made me so mad. That same week, I took him to the grocery store , we were cool. As he got of the car I heard GOD LOUD AND CLEAR when he said….. “your dad is going to get mad at you soon”. The week wasn’t even up, when he called me and asked me to call my mom and ask her for my aunts number. I told him to call my mom for yourself, she’s not mad at you… YOU’RE MAD AT HER. That was my way of getting him to call her, but he’s SO STUBBORN he said “are you going to call her and ask for the number or not”? I said… No daddy. He hung up on me and NEVER CALLED BACK
 
 
I hated that. But God warned me. This time I did something different. All my life I wanted to please him and make up with him first. So, I didn’t call him, I wanted to see just how long it would take for him to call me… HE DIDNT. After 3 months … I called him FIRST…. AGAIN. The point I’m making is. …Kandi’ mother probably get mad at her all the time and NOT SPEAK TO HER… I’m willing to bet that Mama Joyce is so stubborn that Kandi is the one who is always making up first, calling, texting, visiting, and oh not to mention being REJECTED sometimes, because her mom is not ready to make up yet. I’m not saying STOP TAKING CARE OF HER… not saying STOP TALKING TO HER… but I am saying sit down and have a talk with her. Kandi is scared that one day… just one day…. her mom is going to stop talking to her ALL TOGETHER, Little does she know as bad as it may sound… MAMA JOYCE IS CAPABLE AND READY AT ANYTIME “SHE FEELS” she has “lost” Kandi for good. * IN HER MIND*. Kandi is afraid that everybody’s going to know about it, and that makes her very uncomfortable just thinking about it. I know your FEARS boo. Been there.
 
 
But guess what I learned….. they are who they are…. and there is nothing you can do about it. They have no plans to change… because they DON’T SEE WHAT THEY’RE DOING WRONG. When you don’t see your wrongs….. WHY do something different? Mama Joyce have it in her to go days and days and weeks and months not talking to Kandi… but truth is that time may come sooner or later. At some point Mama Joyce is going to ask Kandi to choose….. “Todd or me”… And that’s when things really get REAL. Chose LOVE Kandi. What ever that means to YOU.
 
 
Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy