La’Crease’s Ramblings/BLOG

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Last night I was in bed thinking back on some of the things I did as a teenager and in my 20’s and early 30’s and some of those things shock me. But you know I was Thanking God that I have lived long enough to ask for forgiveness and to change my ways. Just think had I died in the mist of  that mess. Some people do. They don’t get a chance to ask God for forgiveness, because  they were still doing wrong before they died. To me that’s one of the hugest blessings, that you can receive. To live long enough to repent of your wrong doings.

When I was dating my daughters father, we would be upstairs in his room when his mother was at Church all day. We knew she didn’t want him to have company when she wasn’t home, but we, being teenagers did it anyway. Well, she use to come home and I’d be up stairs. Even though she never came up there, she would holler up the stairs to let him know she was home. That’s when we knew he had to either sneak me out of the house when her bedroom door was closed, or I had to jump out of his bedroom window and he’d catch me at the side door. LOL Yea….. thinking back on that.  The person I am today, FIRST of all, I would never be in another woman’s home without her consent, for NO REASON. For TWO, I’m not jumping out of nobody’s window!!! We both laugh about that to this day, and we’ve shared this with our daughter, who knows the person I am today and she CANNOT BELIEVE that I jumped out of a window. LOL LOL Me either!!!!

I remember another time, one night I had lots of company over playing cards and drinking with my friends. I knew my landlord was coming over the next morning to collect rent. I lived in an upstairs flat and my friend lived downstairs. I would often leave my door unlocked because it connected to hers and we had kids that loved to play together. Well, after I let my company out that night, I meant to lock my door. I was so drunk that next morning. I woke up to my landlord standing over me trying to get me to wake up!!! I had puke all over the bed and floor, I was HORRIFIED TO SEE HIM. When I share this story with people for a life lesson, they always ask… was he trying to do something to you? And the answer is NOPE, not at all. He was trying to wake me up, because my door was wide open.He thought something was seriously wrong with me. I learned a GREAT LESSON that day. I don’t ever remember getting that drunk again! I was done with that life!

A few nights ago, I had this craaazy dream that I was at my mothers house, a house that’s not in real life at all. But I went to go see her, and when I got up to her apartment, I looked out of the window at my car as I always do. After a few hours had passed, I looked out again and it was gone!!! I was horrified and crying at the same time. We went to look around and to see was it any broken glass anywhere and it wasn’t, So we went back in the house. I couldn’t stop looking out of the window hoping that it would be there, or that I would wake up. Well, after a few hours had passed, I looked out the window again and it was there! In the very same spot. I told my mother and we went to look in it. We were so surprised that it was very brand new in the inside. The car looked the same on the outside, but it was clean inside out. Brand new stereo system, new seats, it even had a sun roof, it was beautiful.I took it for a ride and everything. In the dream we found out that a group of guys were going around taking people’s cars and fixing them up brand new, just to be helpful. They had done many others the same way, be we didn’t know about it. I was happy that everything was nice and new, but hated the fact that I thought I wasn’t going to see it again. Wow, I have the craziest dreams~!!

Talk to yall later

Cree

 

 

 

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Balance/BLOG

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Back in the day, I would be the LAST person to write on this subject, because I had the biggest attitude in the world. My own mother told me.. ” If you don’t change your attitude someone is going to kill you one day.” For some reason I believed her. I had a FUNKY attitude.

Today… I just can’t walk around like that. I can’t do it. I see so many young gurls walk around with their faces disfigured from frowning, from being mad and angry. So, one day I said God, why is it that I’m connected to these frowns? Am I being paid back for how I use to be? Sometimes I can’t stand to see it, but he always remind me that I was once that same way. I have to deal with it. Thing is…. these days, I most likely know why they are having these issues.

For me it was the stress of my daughters father, my job, whether it was low paying,  or not enough hours, transportation, or babysitter. It was bills, friends getting on my nerves, falling out with neighbors, deciding what to cook or simple as not getting enough sleep. Didn’t matter I always had an attitude. I was mad at the world.

I realized that I didn’t have balance. I didn’t know how to balance my family, job, friends, bills, male friends, any of those things. I didn’t have order. Each day came and did what it wanted to do with me and I had no control. I didn’t have a “to do” list, I just got up out of bed and lived.

Today, I am so well balanced. Of course Im going to always feel that I can do more with my time, but I finally learned how to balance. Its so important. You have to have God time, that’s where your strength come from. You must spend time with your family, your siblings, parents, and friends. It has to be a balance. But whenever you do, make sure you spend time with yourself.

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Hello I AM…/BLOG

Looking back over the years…. I’ve changed. I’ve changed a lot, and whole lot. The things I use to do, I no longer do them, and when I think about it, some are funny and some… I just kinda want to forget. But, I won’t because it all has made me the woman I am today.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been the LIFE OF THE PARTY. When La’Crease walks it, its ON AND POPPIN. LOL I would give card gatherings, we would have drinks and talk junk all night over the table. No arguing or fighting, just family friends and fun. I gave a lot of back yard parties that was so popular, I would give them twice a month during the summer. I remember going to see the male dancers with my friends 4-5 times a week, taking lots and lots of photos. I still wondered how I worked 9-5 and still went out nightly. I had lots of male friends, plenty and many who loved and adored me. Most of them are still alive and a few still close to me.

I was always the one who people came to for advice. I remember as a teenager, I asked God for wisdom to help others in finding the truth and even though no one knew my prayer, they all came to see me. And I was happy. For years and years people would get mad at me for having someone else over because they needed to talk to me. I would cook for them, we would talk for hours and hours. I enjoyed that people listened to me, and that they made positive changes from our talks. But after so many years of doing this, it took a toll on me. I was changing, I was tired of talking to people day in and day out when I needed to get my life in order. People wanted all of my time, talking on the phone all day, all night. Then there were those who wanted to come over and talk face to face. OMG, I said that when I moved in my new house on Cadieux all of that would come to an end. And it did.

I hated talking on the phone, and I HATED COMPANY. I was done with the Therapist Life. It was time to do me!  I had a lot of male company .. but God put an end to that too. LOL I started reading my bible more going back to Church, I was done with everything and everyone. I needed a break from it all.

I’m a NERD now. LOL I love going to work and coming home to an empty apartment, being able to shower, change clothes and go the the Detroit River Walk alone. I love going to Belle Isle a huge park surrounded by nothing but water. I love planing trips and I’m also going on a cruise for a WEEK! I don’t have the time and energy to sit and listen to stories all day. I don’t have the patience for that. I don’t even watch TV because program after program can take up your time. I have  certain shows I watch and that’s it. I enjoy peace. I enjoy the company I keep. I enjoy going to the movies alone. Thing is, if I announce that I’m going somewhere, someone would want to go with me. For years I went everywhere with everyone, I’m just not that person anymore…. ALL THE TIME. Now don’t get me wrong, I have several weddings and bridal showers next month , game parties, a pamper session with my sisters,  and I still will listen to a friend who needs me. But, to spend all of my free time listening to others… that’s A NO NO!

I was always afraid of how others saw my change. People are use to being around me, and now I want to be alone, people don’t take that well. They think its them. Its not, its me. I’m always the listener in the car, over the phone, in person, Ughhhhhhhhhh, I’m tired of it. The only time I get to listen to my own thoughts is when I’m alone.

The best thing about this change is, I have options to be alone or go with a HOST OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO LOVE BEING AROUND ME, AND I LOVE BEING AROUND THEM…. Is it selfish of me.. YALP…..After spending so many years “doing others”, it feels good to DO ME!

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Love Yourself/BLOG

I’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know myself. Sometimes you need to step away from family and friends to learn YOU.

I LOOOOOOOOVE ME! I’ve never had a self esteem issue. Not sure if the reason being so that I came from a home with both parents who taught us nothing but LOVE. People always tell me that I always see the good in people (( and some have a problem with that)) because I’m not pointing out the negative. Its bad enough we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, what good is there in pointing out the bad.

I HATE when people compare themselves to others. Stop doing that. God made us all different. You may like the same things the next person , but you are NOT that person. Enjoy your own way of life and doing things. Look in the mirror and admire yourself. Pay attention to your good qualities. Admire that, think on it, love on it, talk about it within yourself.

Let me say this. What you LOVE about yourself others will talk about. Be ware of those people.  They can work to tear down your self-esteem. God is the creator, he knows what he was doing when you made you. Get in touch with yourself, and love you to death.

I have my Mother’s nose, even if my book sells and I make lots and lots of money, I will never get my nose done so that others can say YOUR NOSE IS PRETTY, I SEE YOU GOT IT DONE. No never, because if my mother even passes away before me, I can look at my nose and say I GOT IT FROM MY MOTHER! I don’t do things to impress NOBODY! I LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂

Love yourself.. flaws and all!

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else

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My Don’t Care Button Is Broken/BLOG

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I don’t remember if I asked God to give me a “DON’T CARE” button, but I sure have one now and I’M LOVING IT!

In my late 20’s and early 30’s I could tell you how I felt about something, be right about it, and then BEG YOU NOT TO BE MAD AT ME FOR SAYING IT. Even though I meant it, I HATED the fact that someone was mad at me. I hated going to bed mad at someone, or someone being mad at me. I QUICKLY LEARNED that not everyone grew up forgiving like I was. I believe with all my heart it stems from my childhood.

Growing up, my siblings and I would get into arguments and debates, we had to finish out the argument, hug, kiss and make up ON THE SPOT! We couldn’t let a moment pass without saying I’m sorry. We were never allowed to fist fight at all, and I believe that’s the reason why we’re so very close to this day. I realized at some point in my late 30’s early 40’s that was the reason why I had a hard time saying what I meant and felt to someone, without feeling guilty about it later. I found out that when you say what you mean to some people, they don’t want to hear your truth, so they get mad at you for saying it, but blame it on the way it was present. I thought, maybe I worded what I meant wrong. But I soon come to realize that people are going to get mad at you just because you told them the truth!

Another thing I realize about myself. If someone comes to me and tell me their story, or their truth about a situation I may NOT have anything to say. I learned that I don’t have to comment on everything. I can just be a listener. If someone have a problem with me, Ill listen to it, and if its IMPORTANT… I’ll address it. But if NOT … Ill keep it moving. I learned that!! Its so fun not to have a comment about EVERYTHING. Especially when people expect for you to react and have something to say. My boo works HOMICIDE..I had to learned how to keep it moving! People are so use to ME.. LACREASE having a word, but sometimes I don’t. They feel that since I’m quiet about something… I’M NOT ON THEIR SIDE. LOL LOL People are so funny. I’m so glad that I have learned this about myself, and its okay.

People will HATE the fact that you’re not the same person you USE to be when you knew them. This is why my connection to people is ABOUT  BUSINESS, TRUTH AND HONESTY. I know what I’m getting from you, and you know what you’re getting from me. I use to be so mentally tied into people that it was CRAZY! I love hard… I’m sorry. I do my own thing now, if we talk, we TALK.. if we don’t, we DON’T. If we’re  use to going to functions together all the time, and I tell you that I want to stay home and chill… THAT’S WHAT THE HELL THAT MEAN. I don’t care if you’re mad. I don’t give a dayum! I’m not calling or texting you asking if you’re mad at me like I use to do. I don’t care. If you cant face my truth oh well.. SEE YA ON JUDGEMENT DAY!

I’m a different LACREASE… I do my OWN thing. If I change my mind about something, dammit that’s what the hell it is. I’m not tied or contracted into any friendships. And who ever don’t like it.. PUSH CARTS AND WAIT FOR A CHECK!

When you can come to conclusions about YOUR  PEACE  and YOUR  TRUTH…   OH WELL TO THOSE WHO “FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY about it!”

I AM La’Crease…and I don’t have to do anything else!

 

@KIMVFIELDS KENYA NEEDS YOU/BLOG

Hello Kim,

After watching RHOA last night and me needing a bottle of high blood pressure pills from watching Kenya . (( Ooo Jesus)) I finally came to the conclusion as to why you are on the show.

Everyone can see that you’re a praying woman. Not only one who reads her bible, but one who practice it. I watch you closely. Your facial expressions, the words you use, the calm tone of voice, the “gotta go” exits, and ahhh your beautiful Spirit. You are a woman who loves the Lord. A woman who practices self control. A woman who can walk in and set the atmosphere at any meet, and one who truly will NOT conform to the ways of this world. I LOVE YOU GURL!!!!

I myself have a very deep personal relationship with the Lord. He speaks to me so clearly. A few weeks ago as I was picking up my keys off the counter to leave my apartment. I heard him loud and clear when he said, “Cree take those quarters,” (( they were next to my keys)) because you’re going to need them. I answered him right away saying.. Oh no, I’m okay, I have my debit card. Just then I realized that it was him, and I picked them up. I took my mom to her doctors appointment, came out.. AND MY TIRE WAS ON A FLAT! The gas station was right across the street. That’s the kind of relationship I have. So, I shared all of that to say…….

After seeing last nights episode.  And allowing Kenya to give me the headache of my life. I asked God why is Kim Fields on this show Lord? I know you. I know you have a reason as to why she’s here. I know your Character. I know you Lord. This gurl does not even fit in with these women style of life. I told him ” I know you’re up to something?” I know you Lord!

Its to get you out of your comfort zone, and to be the ONE WHO HELP KENYA!

God sent you to help Kenya. You may not know it, or maybe this is conformation. The way you handled yourself when she pulled your seat back, ONLY GOD COULD ALLOW YOU TO GO THROUGH THAT ON TV WHILE THE WHOLE WORLD WATCH AND YOU NOT CHOCK HER OUT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!!!! Only God! You showed the WORLD.. how to reframe from ANGER! You showed us, not only do you read your bible, but you practice it. Then you went home to a loving HUSBAND who not only allowed you to VENT.. using all  the colorful words you wanted…. THEN HE bought YOU WAY BACK DOWN .. UM UM UM UM FATHER GOD IN THE NAME OF JESUSSSSSSSSSS YESSS!!!! That’s what Im talking about!

Kenya needs you. She’s been hurt. Deeply hurt by her mom. Hurt people hurt people. God is allowing you to see how truly strong you are. Be there for her when she comes.
Open your arms out to her. Be the loving person you are to your children … to her. She needs your strength. She’s not mad or angry with you, its her situation. Of course I know you know that. Deep down she admires you. Loving mom, loving wife, family, loves the Lord, faithful. Show her love when she comes. Cry with her, love her, take her under your wings. And one thing is for sure, she will NEVER EVER EVER EVER had to worry about you repeating anything that she’s shared with you. If you decide to come back for a Season 2, know that you are on assignment…. because I know in order for you to agree, you’ve already checked in with DADDY!

LOVE YA GURL

La’Crease

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Men control in different ways/BLOG

To WOMEN who are in controlling RELATIONSHIPS…. RUN RUN RUN!!!

You don’t have to put up with that mess. If a man can’t meet half way and learn to LISTEN and COMPROMISE… then there is no reason to be with him. Men control in different ways. If you’re not working and living in his home, get a JOB. Find a hobby  if he doesn’t want you to work. Do something that you enjoy doing. DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF IN A MAN. Make sure you have friends. Make sure you spend time with your FAMILY MEMBERS. Make time to be alone to regroup your mind, even if you have to TAKE YOURSELF TO DINNER. If you’re a woman with a career,and make your own money, but also have a man who is controlling…. PAY ATTENTION to what he controls you with since its not money. Does he talk about your weight? Your face, lips, thighs, butt, breast, past issues that you’re trying to put behind? Is he jealous of the time you spend with your SISTERS and MOTHER? What does he have to say about your closes friends whom you love dearly? Does he constantly ask you about OLD BOYFRIENDS and if you’re still in contact with him?

Pay attention to all the signs. Women… GET YOUR LIFE…. please don’t lose it to a controlling boyfriend or HUSBAND.

I AM La’Crease (( I don’t have to do anything else))

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