Life Lesson- Glad I Got A Chance To See Mom Cry/BLOG

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Growing up, I remember so clearly my mother crying many times after hanging up the phone from taking care of business.

My mother was the type to kinda “go with the flow”, when it came to her business over the phone back in the day. If it wasn’t anything immediate she would take what ever they told her, but when it  came to something she needed done now, she didn’t know the right questions to ask, and when she was rejected she’d cry and it would make me so MAD.

Can you imagine how I felt as a child, a person who knew how to express herself, knew what kind of questions I needed to ask in order to get business taking care of and couldn’t help or offend my mother? I hated when she cried. I remember saying, “When I get grown aint nobody gon make me cry”. I think back on this Life Lesson and I’m glad I got a chance to see her cry, because it helped me to learn how to take care of business. It made me strong to where I learned ways to communicate in order to get things done without cursing anyone out. Simply by knowing the right questions to ask.

When I got my first place, I remember thinking, I’m a mother now. I have to make arrangements over the phone, ask the right questions to get my business taken care of. I remember writing down questions I needed to ask before I made my phone calls, and each time they were answered AND UNDERSTOOD by me, I would go on to the next. If I didn’t understand I would ponder that question 3-4 different ways in order to get a true answer. I thought to myself, there is no way in the world that I’m going to hang up this phone and not have made progress. In person….. I’m nothing to toy with. I’m very very friendly and this is why I will not accept anything less than my business being taking care of.

I prefer in person, eye to eye contact. That way a person can understand MY ENERGY, MY PERSISTENCE, MY DIRECTNESS. I never ever ever, ask a person to go beyond the company policy to accommodate me. If you can do it, DO IT. Don’t give me the run a round, because I do ask for names, badge numbers, and phone numbers to your extension just in case I need to ASK MORE QUESTIONS. I’m not a pest, because I don’t want to stay on the subject no more than you do. If I’m speaking with you over the phone and I feel I’m not getting answers… TRUST AND BELIEVE…. I’M ON MY WAY UP THERE TO SEE YOU FACE TO FACE. I will never curse anyone out, and if that person cant/wont help me, then I’ll talk to a supervisor. Even with that, I ONLY talk to people who can get me results. PERIOD.

I watched my mother cry too many times in my childhood days. But I must add, TODAY.. .my Mother DO NOT PLAY. LOL LOL She says she learned from the best. All of her kids (4) are great communicators and baby when I tell you now…. SHE WILL EMBARRASS YOU, because she knows how to get her point across. Sometimes I have to walk away if we’re in a store or place of business LOL LOL . She wont stop until she get her questions ask. Its so funny because she has come along way. I’m proud of her.

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La’Crease’s Ramblings/BLOG

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Last night I was in bed thinking back on some of the things I did as a teenager and in my 20’s and early 30’s and some of those things shock me. But you know I was Thanking God that I have lived long enough to ask for forgiveness and to change my ways. Just think had I died in the mist of  that mess. Some people do. They don’t get a chance to ask God for forgiveness, because  they were still doing wrong before they died. To me that’s one of the hugest blessings, that you can receive. To live long enough to repent of your wrong doings.

When I was dating my daughters father, we would be upstairs in his room when his mother was at Church all day. We knew she didn’t want him to have company when she wasn’t home, but we, being teenagers did it anyway. Well, she use to come home and I’d be up stairs. Even though she never came up there, she would holler up the stairs to let him know she was home. That’s when we knew he had to either sneak me out of the house when her bedroom door was closed, or I had to jump out of his bedroom window and he’d catch me at the side door. LOL Yea….. thinking back on that.  The person I am today, FIRST of all, I would never be in another woman’s home without her consent, for NO REASON. For TWO, I’m not jumping out of nobody’s window!!! We both laugh about that to this day, and we’ve shared this with our daughter, who knows the person I am today and she CANNOT BELIEVE that I jumped out of a window. LOL LOL Me either!!!!

I remember another time, one night I had lots of company over playing cards and drinking with my friends. I knew my landlord was coming over the next morning to collect rent. I lived in an upstairs flat and my friend lived downstairs. I would often leave my door unlocked because it connected to hers and we had kids that loved to play together. Well, after I let my company out that night, I meant to lock my door. I was so drunk that next morning. I woke up to my landlord standing over me trying to get me to wake up!!! I had puke all over the bed and floor, I was HORRIFIED TO SEE HIM. When I share this story with people for a life lesson, they always ask… was he trying to do something to you? And the answer is NOPE, not at all. He was trying to wake me up, because my door was wide open.He thought something was seriously wrong with me. I learned a GREAT LESSON that day. I don’t ever remember getting that drunk again! I was done with that life!

A few nights ago, I had this craaazy dream that I was at my mothers house, a house that’s not in real life at all. But I went to go see her, and when I got up to her apartment, I looked out of the window at my car as I always do. After a few hours had passed, I looked out again and it was gone!!! I was horrified and crying at the same time. We went to look around and to see was it any broken glass anywhere and it wasn’t, So we went back in the house. I couldn’t stop looking out of the window hoping that it would be there, or that I would wake up. Well, after a few hours had passed, I looked out the window again and it was there! In the very same spot. I told my mother and we went to look in it. We were so surprised that it was very brand new in the inside. The car looked the same on the outside, but it was clean inside out. Brand new stereo system, new seats, it even had a sun roof, it was beautiful.I took it for a ride and everything. In the dream we found out that a group of guys were going around taking people’s cars and fixing them up brand new, just to be helpful. They had done many others the same way, be we didn’t know about it. I was happy that everything was nice and new, but hated the fact that I thought I wasn’t going to see it again. Wow, I have the craziest dreams~!!

Talk to yall later

Cree

 

 

 

Bobbi Kristina-RIP/BLOG

Just sitting here crying my eyes out re-watching Whitney Houston’s funeral thinking about God and how we must all leave someday.

I was also thinking about how close Whitney and Bobbi were. You can tell in every video, how much love they had for each other. That lil gurl loved her mother something deeply. I can relate, because I feel the same way about my mother. We’re very close, talk on the phone everyday, we’re always together. I was at her apartment late last night. Took her to dinner the night before, I  take her grocery shopping,  take care of her bills, out for rides, trips, and her doctor’s appointment. I LOVE my mother something deeply. Bobbi Kristina was a young gurl when she passed away, I CANT imagine the pain she went through with the world watching. Always having to say “I’m okay” when she wasn’t. I just CAN’T imagine the tears she cried every time she thought about her mom. The love of a mom is DEEP.. A love that God can only create.

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Then I think about my daughter, my one and only, my 9/3/86… I love this lil gurl something deeply and she loves me the same way. We’re so close its scary sometimes. I wonder how did God give us the ability to love so strong. Don’t get it twisted… I LOVE GOD more than anything and anyone. HE GAVE ME- THEM BOTH. Since I have HIM.. I have them. I’ve been playing the song below all morning, crying my eyes out, thinking about the LOVE OF A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.

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RIH Bobbi Kristina… I know you’re where you want to be. (( tears- tears- tears))

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,/BLOG

Here is a article that someone shared on Face Book. Had me in tears.. This letter is so beautiful. Father God…. your face is shown in this. 

(IJReview) — A woman named Candice Curry wrote a letter to her ex-husband’s new wife Ashley Parish, and the reception of the letter has been off the charts.

Here is the full letter from Curry’s Women With Worth blog via our friends at Young Cons. Take a look for yourself.

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.

But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.

Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.

My plans were foiled.

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.

You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.

I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her.

You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.

Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.

I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.

I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life. Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.

I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.

Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.

God bless you and I love you.

Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:

“Candice, I don’t know what to say.  I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”

Had a great time with MOM AND DAD/Ramblings (((BLOG))))

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Today was good day… my dad took me, Nesha and my momma to lunch at their favorite restaurant. They go all the time, today was my first time. The food was so good….I finally got to see what all the talk was about. After wards we went to Belle Isle to sit at the fountain and to take in the beautiful sun and breeze. I have a tan out of this world… on one side of my body. LOL We sat there for at least 3 hours. The ice cream truck came we sat and at ice cream and had a very good time. Life is about living and enjoying your family and friends. Afterwards we went riding Downtown. Many of the streets were blocked off, because of the Jazz Festival . Parking is $20.00 on up…. yes…. they’re making a killin too.

We had a good time together. My dad use to always get mad at me , but since my mom moved into his building on another floor, he says he’s happy because he gets to be around his family more. He was so mean and it was hard being around him, but for the last few months, its been a pleasure to be around him. I come to the conclusion concerning people that…. they are who they are…. you can either ask God to help you “understand” their ways so that you can best get along with them, or not be bother with that person. I get along with people, because I understand that we’re all different. I respect the differences and I love everyone. Things I’m not feeling about a person… I don’t deal with. I don’t want to argue fuss or fight with anyone… I just want to have nice conversations and that’s it. God knows my heart.

I need to start my walking back up.. OMG. I gained a few pounds and I don’t like that at all. So after the Holiday…. its back on and poppin. I love to walk, so that will be a breeze. Okay.. I’m rambling… I’ll be back tomorrow.

BE BLESSED

 

Change the atmosphere of that dysfunction …….. From the desk of Cree

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Yesterday when I was in Meijer, I met these 2 lovely young ladies who was stacking salad and other items in that area. I was instantly connected to them because they were friendly and very helpful. Somehow we got on the subject of their mothers. One gurl moved here from Indiana and said she missed her mother so much. But the other gurl went on about how she felt her mom didn’t show her love at all growing up, and that when she have her baby she’ll show her baby much LOVE. So, I said… Let me ask you this: To your knowledge what have YOUR mother been through as a child? She said… my mother was poor, she went through a lot growing up. And after she had me, she got on drugs, couldn’t keep a job, she shared many things with us.
 
 
I told her sometimes after a woman has been though a lot, she doesn’t KNOW HOW to build a relationship with her children, she doesn’t KNOW HOW to love you like you should be loved. Sometimes a woman don’t know where to start with building a relationship with her children. She could be so hurt and so far gone IN HER DYSFUNCTION, that she doesn’t even recognize that she’s wrong even after hearing it all of her life. I said but do you have any children? She said I’m pregnant now. I told her, well this is YOUR chance and time to CHANGE THE CYCLE. Change the atmosphere, change the story, change your story with your mom. Do things YOUR way, be different, think different.
 
 
I told her, in NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO way am I saying that YOUR MOM was right. * she wasn’t* … but I AM saying since you cannot change that….. YOU must change the atmosphere of that dysfunction. I told her and when you do… don’t rub it in your mothers face how much better of a mother YOU ARE, because when you think you’ve done everything so perfect and different from your mom…. you daughter/son will get grown and TELL YOU how she/he felt YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER. She got it. I planted a seed. My work was done. Thank you Lord for placing me at the right place at the right time.
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy