Being the Oldest/BLOG

When I was growing up I use to ask God why do I have to be the oldest? Why didn’t I have a big sister or brother to lean on and talk too? Why do I have to look out for my siblings and set the example? Why do my parents always look to MEEEEEEEEEE to make sure they’re okay if they weren’t around ? I hated the responsibility of  looking after them. I just hated that as the oldest. HATED IT! UGH

Now that I’m 4 months away from being 50.. I SEE WHY GOD MADE ME THE OLDEST. Even though I’m opinionated. I realize that I’m wired differently. I have always looked at the bigger picture. I can see set backs, benefits, consequences, greatness, trouble… I see it all. Where my siblings may look at the NOW. Yes, even though we are all different, I see that my personality bring a balance to us as siblings.

While they call me BOSSY, I can sit back and not speak a word. Sometimes even as adults when we have debates and our parents tell us to SHUT THE HELL UP… I am the oldest and they DO listen to me. Still till this day.. Its just amazing how I can see why God made me the oldest.

If one sibling is mad at the other, they always want to know what I THINK. And some times, I’m like figure it out on your own, why do yall always want and need MY opinion? They say because I give good advice and  peacemaker of the family. While that is true, I’m leaning to cut back on my opinion. I’m learning that being quiet sometimes is best. Being the oldest and being quiet about something is when my siblings REALLY WORK IT OUT. Because they don’t know how I feel about the situation. ((LOL)) And I think they have a need to please me, especially when it comes to getting along. They know I don’t play that staying mad days and days. NO WAY!!! Not in this family. Not as me being the OLDEST. They know I will drive to their homes, and make them talk about it.

When it comes to the family functions which we have quite often.. I’m usually the one along with my baby sister who does the planning. My middle siblings just bring what we ask. Its funny because it has always been like that. My baby sister is always on the page with me. We plan everything. The middle two… just play along. LOL

What’s funny is, if we’re planning a function and I have to work, OMG they’ll have a fit! They act like they cannot function without me being there. My mom will call me, my dad, nieces, siblings wanting to know why I cant come.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. GOD HANDPICKED THEM JUST FOR ME!! I am the oldest and I get it now! Thank you Jesus.

LaCrease

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My Second Oldest Sister

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My Brother

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My baby Sister

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I AM LaCrease, and I don’t have to do anything else!

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To My Daughter’s Stepmom,/BLOG

Here is a article that someone shared on Face Book. Had me in tears.. This letter is so beautiful. Father God…. your face is shown in this. 

(IJReview) — A woman named Candice Curry wrote a letter to her ex-husband’s new wife Ashley Parish, and the reception of the letter has been off the charts.

Here is the full letter from Curry’s Women With Worth blog via our friends at Young Cons. Take a look for yourself.

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.

But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.

Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.

My plans were foiled.

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.

You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.

I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her.

You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.

Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.

I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.

I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life. Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.

I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.

Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.

God bless you and I love you.

Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:

“Candice, I don’t know what to say.  I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”

Had a great time with MOM AND DAD/Ramblings (((BLOG))))

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Today was good day… my dad took me, Nesha and my momma to lunch at their favorite restaurant. They go all the time, today was my first time. The food was so good….I finally got to see what all the talk was about. After wards we went to Belle Isle to sit at the fountain and to take in the beautiful sun and breeze. I have a tan out of this world… on one side of my body. LOL We sat there for at least 3 hours. The ice cream truck came we sat and at ice cream and had a very good time. Life is about living and enjoying your family and friends. Afterwards we went riding Downtown. Many of the streets were blocked off, because of the Jazz Festival . Parking is $20.00 on up…. yes…. they’re making a killin too.

We had a good time together. My dad use to always get mad at me , but since my mom moved into his building on another floor, he says he’s happy because he gets to be around his family more. He was so mean and it was hard being around him, but for the last few months, its been a pleasure to be around him. I come to the conclusion concerning people that…. they are who they are…. you can either ask God to help you “understand” their ways so that you can best get along with them, or not be bother with that person. I get along with people, because I understand that we’re all different. I respect the differences and I love everyone. Things I’m not feeling about a person… I don’t deal with. I don’t want to argue fuss or fight with anyone… I just want to have nice conversations and that’s it. God knows my heart.

I need to start my walking back up.. OMG. I gained a few pounds and I don’t like that at all. So after the Holiday…. its back on and poppin. I love to walk, so that will be a breeze. Okay.. I’m rambling… I’ll be back tomorrow.

BE BLESSED

 

My Funny Parents/DIVORCE/LOVE

only me

This morning I took my parents to run some errands. I love riding with them.. they have debates and lil scraps that are sooooooo funny. My momma be tearing my daddy up. LOL LOL But baby when he’s had enough, he come back on her.  LOL Funny thing, when I’m with them its like having precious cargo with me. I have to be very careful of driving, even though I’m a careful driver anyway… its still something about having them in the car. When I’m with them.. we hit about 40 stores… because everybody likes to shop at their own personal favorites. LOL We had a bad storm yesterday and 2 of the stores were closed because they had no power. We always end the day with KFC…. I LOVE IT….. the memories we are creating without even REALIZING.
 
Sooooooooooooo………my Sister’s DIVORCE is final and she encourages me to write about it. Especially my feelings about it. I loved my brother n law. I just hate they couldn’t work it out. Its funny how you could start off together on the same page… then end up on different sides of the street. He was driven by money and “stuff”…. she was driven by LOVE and spending time together. She has a MASTERS working for the city and they built 2 companies and 14-15 properties together. This has really taught me a lot. I will NEVER EVER marry a man who works day in and day out. I’m not driven by money…. “aha’s” and “look what I bought “, “look what I”m doing now”… and all that needing APPROVAL stuff. I just want to LOVE and be LOVED. I’ve always worked since I was 14… and yesss my HUSBAND will too. But doing too much will mess up a marriage because it can’t grow. Yes…. I’m afraid of that. While one person is doing one thing, another is doing something else. I don’t like that. Now, if me and my HUSBAND worked together side by side or in the same building…. that could work. But me working someplace, while he works  another from 6 am-10pm  … NOT GONE HAPPEN WITH MS CREE. Working too many hours apart in a marriage while one is driven on LOVE.. and the other on STUFF, topped with oo’s and ah’s won’t work for me. Then they end up “tolerating” each other because its “business” and too much to lose… to DIVORCE.  MY PERSONALITY doesn’t have time for that. Meeee… for the sake of the PEACE that I demand…. will walk away from EVERYTHING. He can have it ALL… its the ONLY THING THAT CAME MAKE HIM HAPPY ANYWAY. Here… go be happy with your “STUFF”.
 
 
 
Growing up in our household, we knew nothing but LOVE. We learned how to share, how to look out for each other. we weren’t allowed to fight. I find it amazing how  having so much LOVE in the home from both parents….. that ALL 3 OF MY SIBLINGS just want to be LOVED. My sister was wearing a $13,000 ring * and it was NICE too* she said if she ever gets married again… she only wants a matching wedding band. She didn’t have a wedding… this time she wants one. She didn’t go on a honey moon, this time she wants to go. I understand her because we grew up together.  I understand her mentality. I watched her live her life.. because we are close. I see the type of people that me and my siblings are. We want God in our lives, we want a PEACEFUL home, we want to work come home and spend time as a family, have friend time, movie and dinner time, trips… and of course do our own things separately with our friends. We don’t like arguing and nick picking. I can’t do that.
 
 
I want to be showered/ and to SHOWER HIM… with LOVE… KISSES, HUGS, TOUCHING, LOVE MAKING… AND FAMILY GATHERINGS…This is LIFE… if we’re going to LIVE it… LETS GET IT!!! I can go all over the place on this topic… later I will. But for now…. ITS ALL ABOUT LOVE.
BE BLESSED
 
 

Kids paternity goes wrong ((((((((Blog)))))))

I cried today watching this video.  This is happening to so many people and its time parents are truthful to their children no matter how “hard” it may be. No child/adult should be this devastated over a decision that the parents/parent was scared to make as a child. It’s not right and its not fair. Children need to be told the truth as they are growing up, so that they can grow with the situation. That would prepare them to be able to handle the truth of rejection or death of their family members, then they go out to find them. This is so sad. Please watch this video.

What’s SAM’S full name?…FUNNY/ ((((((((Blog))))))))

latiswa

For 5 years I was mentoring my Teen gurls group, Raisingurls to Women in my home, when I started to realize that while the teens were being part of a group that helped them to deal with issues, the moms were still working out of the same mentality. That bothered me and I never knew how I could bridge the gap, especially when many of them felt that only the teens were having issues, and not themselves. I get so many emails from parents who seek my advice in this area that it amazes me. Which leads me to focus more on parents/women.

When MarNesha was growing up, she was mostly like me, never cared about going over to people’s house. I rather sleep on my own bed at night, and had company at my house. But when she had boyfriends, she bought them over for me to meet. I’m not one of those parents/momma’s that would say yes to her going to their place without meeting them. I want to know names, phone numbers * yes I had her boyfriends number in my cell phone.. sure did*, address, who else they know associated with this person. I didn’t play that. See many parents don’t start off early about letting their kids know how they are. We know our kids like the back of our hands, we as parents need to let our kids know WHO WE ARE! WHAT WE WILL DO ,AND WHAT WE WONT TOLERATE as THEY’RE GROWING UP…. I ask questions. If you had a problem with me asking questions, let me know NOW, so we can shut this down and talk about something else.

Today my cousin La’Tisha ( my cousins Wife in above photo) posted this on her FB page. Oh its so funny. Parents beware….. these kids are starting off early!!! LOL This is a good one!!! Hahahaha * Get em gurl*

So riding in the car with my son and the conversation goes:
Son: Hey mom can I go over my friend’s house
Me: Where does your friend live.
Son: Oh just two blocks over.
Me: Let me ride by and see exactly where. I need to talk to his parents.
Me: Oh who is this friend?
Son: Well I’m actually going to see THEIR brother
Me: THEIR???
Me: Who is your friend? You didn’t answer my question.
Son: Sam
Me: What’s SAM’S full name
Son: Samantha.
Son: Oh she’s not going to be there.
Me: And neither are you!!!
‪#‎notgonnahappen‬
‪#‎nicetry‬
‪#‎only12‬
‪#‎wrongmomma‬

Be Blessed

 

Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God. – Dr. Maya Angelou

 

 

Buying kids everything… is NOT good From the desk of Cree

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When you buy your sons and daughters the best clothes, latest gym shoes, making them the best dressed in school. People always telling you ” your kids stay fresh” Every new electronic device that comes out… YOUR CHILD gotta have it, the latest phones and designer clothes. That’s ALL GOOD.. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT……

BUT YOU BETTER remember and KNOW for a fact. That when YOU stop taking care of them because they’re “18” and GROWN. They have to keep up with that LIFESTYLE that YOU provided for them. TRUST AND BELIEVE… they’re either going to go to college and make a good hard working living for themselves….. or they’ll make fast money ON the streets!!! No kid wants to turn 18 and can’t keep up with what they were use to. People will talk about them and dog them out. And trust me… they’re not having that!!!

Remember you have to set the atmosphere for LATER when it comes to the mind set of your kids. They really don’t need all of that growing up….let them set their own goals of having the best of everything by working for it, not just by being YOUR child.

This is a warning…. hear me clear.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy