Ummmm cuse meeeeeeeeeee! /BLOG
When it comes to business I have to really be on my game. Sometimes you can appear friendly, too friendly, not aggressive on the surface but when it comes to business I am a beast and I know it.
In business you have to always discuss facts and stay on the point. Because once you get off the point the other person can drive your story all over the place. Not gon happen with me. Sometimes I hate to go there because I can be very expressive in the face, because I’m always a really nice person. I can come off as very aggressive and I don’t mean to be that way. But I find out that I let things build up and when its time to discuss it there’s no changing my mind. And I don’t if that’s a good thing.
I Live downtown Detroit and there are a lot of new developments going on in the city. Many people are leaving the suburbs and moving to these downtown apartments which is causing the parking space to be an issue here. In 2012 when I moved here you can park anywhere at any time inside of the gated parking lot and there was no problem. But now since the building is almost occupied which is 22 floors and 18 apartments there is no space to park. When I come home at 3 AM I have to pray before I even get here to find a space. They tell us to park across the street which is a Hell to the NAW NAW and definitely not the back where I can’t see my car. I had my van stolen from here a few months after I moved in, and I wish I would park anywhere else except in the gate or in front of the building. They have extra security here and that’s perfect.
This morning when I got home I parked in front of the building along with seven other vehicles. I went down this morning to run an errand ((( and to move the car))) security asked me about it and I told him there is no room in the parking lot to park anymore I will not park across the street or in the back of the building. I will not have my car stolen like my Town & Country.He was here when it was stolen because he did the investigation on it. So he knew my frustrations, and understood. But not before I went there.
Just then the property manager came in saying that it was OK because of the issue. I really hated I had to go there but I had to let them know there was no way I was parking in the back or across the street. Thing was when I said that my van was stolen, people looked at me like WHAT???? YOUR VAN WAS STOLEN FROM HERE? OOO weee I bet security or management wont go there with me again. They shut that conversation down in front of folks REAL QUICK!!! LOL
Now I tried to be nice about it, didn’t want to alarm others in the building, but this is the 3rd time I’ve been asked about my parking. My thing is this, you jammed packed this building knowing full well there is not enough parking for all of these people, then I will let it be known, WHERE I WONT BE PARKING AND WHY. I pay rent here and its NOT CHEAP! Don’t ask me to park across the street, where if something happen off the property they’ll say, “Well that’s not our property.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I made it short and to the point. I don’t do all that 3 minute talking especially when I’m right. Make some parking space around here….. now that’s doing business. All they care about is fulling up the apartments…. AND I AINT MAD AT THEM… BUT DON’T TELL ME TO PARK ACROSS THE STREET. GOT ME MESSED UP! The new people don’t know any better..
La’ Crease does! 🙂
MY story of FORGIVENESS-RAPE/PART 1/BLOG
Oct 22, 2014 I received an inbox from my ex boyfriend asking me to call him. When I first saw his message my heart started beating fast because of what happened 30 years ago. His name alone bought back memories of that night in August a month before my 18th birthday. I was hesitate at first, but a part of me wanted and needed to talk to him. I wanted and needed answers. I ignored his messages until I had a day to think about it.
I decided to respond and leave him my number to call me. My heart was beating so fast hearing his voice over the phone, it sorta paralyzed me, but the desire to know answers to my questions made me feel much better as I got comfortable listening to the humbleness in his voice. I listened to him talk about how he loves his now grown children and more especially his grand kids. We talked about God and how being out of jail has really changed his life. He has 2 businesses and is doing very well for himself. He invited me to his job to see him, because it had been so long since we’ve seen each other. And even though it would be a huge step for me…. I went. I prayed about it, and decided that I would go and see him.
When I first walked in, my heart was beating so fast. I wondered if I made the right choice in doing this, but knew I needed answers or I may not ever get them. When I walked into the door, we spotted each other right off. He came over to me, in the humblest Spirit I’ve ever known from him, and gave me a long warm hug and kiss on the cheek. I couldn’t help but see the God in him. He was a changed man, a different person than we were 30 years ago. Still good looking, standing 6’3 and still funny as ever. I loved this man dearly once upon a time. He was my first LOVE and first boyfriend.
As we walked around and talked, he introduced me to his staff. He told them that I was his gurlfriend 30 years ago, and that we hadn’t seen each other in years. They told me how pretty and sweet I was, and how they really loved him. I can tell that he was very nervous, and so was I. But again…. it was something that I had to do. We talked about our families ((( he knows my family and friends, and I know all of his))) and our kids. After about 45 minutes I told him that I had to go, which he didn’t want me to, but I had to get alone to regroup my thoughts. I promised that I would come to see him again soon. He walked me to my car, we hugged and said our goodbyes. As I was driving, I thought about how proud of myself I was. This was a huge step for me, something I could have NEVER EVER done without God. Our meet up was the start of answers for me.
Part 2 tomorrow!
I AM La’Crease ((( I don’t have to do anything else)))
Just sitting here crying my eyes out re-watching Whitney Houston’s funeral thinking about God and how we must all leave someday.
I was also thinking about how close Whitney and Bobbi were. You can tell in every video, how much love they had for each other. That lil gurl loved her mother something deeply. I can relate, because I feel the same way about my mother. We’re very close, talk on the phone everyday, we’re always together. I was at her apartment late last night. Took her to dinner the night before, I take her grocery shopping, take care of her bills, out for rides, trips, and her doctor’s appointment. I LOVE my mother something deeply. Bobbi Kristina was a young gurl when she passed away, I CANT imagine the pain she went through with the world watching. Always having to say “I’m okay” when she wasn’t. I just CAN’T imagine the tears she cried every time she thought about her mom. The love of a mom is DEEP.. A love that God can only create.
Then I think about my daughter, my one and only, my 9/3/86… I love this lil gurl something deeply and she loves me the same way. We’re so close its scary sometimes. I wonder how did God give us the ability to love so strong. Don’t get it twisted… I LOVE GOD more than anything and anyone. HE GAVE ME- THEM BOTH. Since I have HIM.. I have them. I’ve been playing the song below all morning, crying my eyes out, thinking about the LOVE OF A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.
RIH Bobbi Kristina… I know you’re where you want to be. (( tears- tears- tears))
It’s NOT okay! BLOG
Lately, I’ve been having deep conversations with several young women, and it bothers me so deeply what many are allowing these men to do to them. As I listen, I can’t help but think about the time when I was their ages and allow men to say and do things to me as well. The hard part is, they have to go through the experience themselves. I can talk to them till I’m blue in the face, sometimes they listen to me, and sometimes they don’t. It is them who has to learn the lesson.
I always knew that there was an order in which abuse start. First come the cursing out, and calling the woman out of her name. Secondly, are the personal attacks, meaning personal things that was said is now used in a way to hurt the person mentality. Third, is the physical laying of the hands on the woman to tear down her appearance and self esteem. I really hope women pay attention to this. We have to stop being so gullible. Stop feeling that we have met the best man for us. If someone is calling you names, and punching on you, get out of that relationship because the one for you is still out there. We have to stop getting so attached so soon. That’s the very reason why its so hard for us to break apart when things go wrong. Its okay to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that you should stay with him. It is not okay to mentally and physically abuse a woman. The same goes for women abusing men. Talk to a family member or close friend if you’re going through this, talk to the person who is going to be truthful, honest and upfront. And listen!!! Listen to these people who have already experienced it. It just may save your life.
I AM (( I don’t have to do anything else))
Learning Valueable Lessons/BLOG
My Sisters and I was having a conversation the other day about how I use to follow the rules all the time when we were growing up. I always thought twice about what I was doing when it was against the rules. But for some reason it was always in the back of my mind to stop.
As I got older, I realized that I was this same person as a kid . I would tell people not to do something that would make them have to pay the consequences LATER, they always looked at me like…”guuuuuurl it aint that serious.” I remember saying to myself… “why bring extra trouble to yourself?” When I got the reaction that I did, I started asking myself “why do you care if they have to pay the consequences of their actions?” I care because I am a Christian, and I hate to see people suffering when they could have prevented it.I learn through consequences, why not tell others? I’m a person who cares. Oh yes, I could easily watch people do wrong, not open my mouth and watch them pay. That’s easy to do. I’m not that person. But I will say this. I will run it by you once, twice, maybe three times, but I wont be calling you, bugging you, emailing you, texting you or anything like that. As a matter of fact I won’t bring it up again. God gives me visions of the consequences we have to pay when we don’t follow the rules and decide to use the “Free will” button.
There was a time in my life when I was clicking that “free will” button all day EVERYDAY. I remember one consequence I paid heavily just before turning 20. My BFF and I worked together, and when we would get tips we would put them in our tip jar, but when we were low on money instead of ringing up pastries and coffee, we would STEAL and put that money in our tip jar too. We started off doing it a few times a week, then we started getting addicted and depended on that change so we did it all day everyday. Eventually we quit that job we were working, and started other jobs. We were very, very, very, close did everything together, lived across the street from each other, went out together, took trips together, she knew my family and I knew hers. We LOVED each other like Sisters. We were so goofy , laughed all day everyday.
Well one day me and my BFF were running errands. She left her purse in the car to run in someplace (( don’t remember where)), but when she went to the next store she took her purse. As she walked to the car I could see that she was mad about something. When she got in the car, she asked me did I go in her purse and take $20.00? I said NO.. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!! She said well Creasy, it was in here when I left home. I said I didn’t go in your purse, I wouldn’t do that. We argued all the way home. We didn’t talk for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS over that. She felt like how could you do that to me? I was your BFF. There was nothing I could say to convince her that I would never ever do anything like that to her.I was devastated. I prayed and asked God why is this happening?
He said…. when you and Lisa were working together, you both stole money. Even though you have never stolen from anyone, not out of their homes, not out of their purses, you have a history of being a THIEF. There was nothing you could say to convince her that it wasn’t you that took her money. That’s when it started to click in my head. She felt like… if I did it to our job, then I would do it to her. But I didn’t,and I paid for it. After no communication for years and years, when we finally grew up and started talking. She told me that she found out that it was her brother (( he started doing it regularly)) who went in her purse and stole her money, not me… she apologized. I was more happy that she didn’t think it was me, than anything.
Her only child and my God daughter Erika, had gotten big and didn’t know me 😦 We were in different places at this time, and no matter how much we talked, we never got that connection we had in the beginning. 😦 I learned a serious lesson in all of that. What we did together spilled out in our own friendship. There was nothing I could have said to convince her that I didn’t steal her money. The consequences of stealing from that company, was how I lost my BFF and the closeness/bond/friendship of my NOW AKA BEAUTIFUL GOD DAUGHTER!! I paid for that dearly. I will never forget this lesson. We are connected on FB and its so good seeing her and Erika. They’re both Christians who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES THE LORD… and I’m so glad that we can laugh and talk about our past while moving on to our future. We’ll both be 48 this year and I Thank you Lord Jesus for that LESSON TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. AMEN!
I AM La’Crease (( and SHE doesn’t have to do anything else))
Leaders Be Mindful/BLOG
Yesterday 3/19…. I was scrolling through my FB timeline and came across this Woman Pastor * won’t say her name* and her post about her lovely step daughter who had just purchased a new truck, not only brand new… but she purchased it herself! Now for those who have been reading my post for years know when it comes to our children doing well… I AM THE MOST PROUD.
I started Raisingurls to Women in my home in 2006 and have helped groomed many young teens over the 8 years to become the women they are today. So, when I read her post.. I was so geeked.. saying to myself YESSSS YOUNG GURL YESS! As the Leader I am.. I have always admired other GREAT LEADERS. Even though I don’t get to comment on her post or others on FB as much as I would love.. I ENJOY reading success stories of those under them as well. This is why I have my Raisingurls to Women site and THIS ONE to upgrade the success of my gurls as they become women. I follow them on FB and see them all the time. They look up to me, they listen to me and I have to ALWAYS make sure that I’m not nutting up on people BUT representing God at ALL times.
Going back to the post. My comment to her was YES!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! I see that you and your family are doing well, I would love to know how your congregation is doing as well. SHE WENT OFF ON ME!!!!
I have seen a few times where she INDIRECTLY went off on people on FB who she knew was reading her page. I asked that question on her FB page because as a LEADER.. I am always INTERESTED in how others under that Leadership are doing. This is why I always update stories 9 years later on my Raisingurls. I was their Leader for a while. I’m doing fine, and I’m GLAD to see that they’ve ALL GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL, a few with children..one married, and the others GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. It interest me in that area. It tells a lot for me, and who I am as a LEADER. I was just looking for feed back from other leaders such as herself. If I didn’t know God.. she would have left a sour taste in my mouth for The Church, Women, and Leaders. But my skin is TOUGH.. the oldest of 4. I’m good! LOL That was the reason why I asked her that question. I have been following her FB page for 4 years.. she is AWESOME. I admire her. She’s a GREAT LEADER and SPEAK WITH BOLDNESS.. just as myself . I’ve never inboxed her, spoken with her over the phone, or met her. We don’t talk PERIOD! So when she posted 3 comments on her page that her daughter is a Virgin, she’s in college full time, then she started saying that she could post anything on her FB page she wanted, and started on herself on how successful she was, and that if I wanted her to coach me she could, other than that sit back and watch her family as closely as I have been. She wrote 3 different post from my question above. I was like WHOA! What type of people does she mess with? How many people/women have turned on her? What type of people are in her circle? She went completely into left field…. I WAS HEATED.. AND READY TO GET WITH HER….DETROIT MICHIGAN MURDER CAPITOL OF THE WORLD STYLE!
I just sat there in shock and shook my head remembering a post I had written on my FB page March 10, 2015…..”Look at everything as positive, Until it proves itself negative.”SHE PROVED EXACTLY THAT!. Does she care? Nope probably not.. I DO.. and here’s why. I RESPECT LEADERS. I ADMIRE THEM.. I LEARN FROM THEM….I would never ever want to go off like she did to me IN FRONT OF HER CONGREGATION, FAMILY AND FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK. AND ON MY PAGE.. I DON’T PLAY THAT PERIOD!! I would never cripple another member of Christ.. especially on FB, in front of people who they influence everyday. WHAT?? NEVER THAT!!! That will 50/50 turn people away from God. OH NO NO!!!! NEVER NAW! People who admire them, people who respect them, people who report to them. I would never want that in front of my Raisingurls. HOW DOES THAT LOOK? What does your response say? A WHOLE LOT!!!!!!! I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY PASTOR!
As I sat there and talked myself out of going “Mack and Bewick” on her on FB…. I saw the big picture. God spoke to me * so glad I can hear his voice*. He said La’Crease don’t take her comment to heart. It wasn’t even about you. She gets lots of emails, phone calls, in boxes of how she brags. Women cling to her just because they think her anointing can “jump on them”. She’s been hurt by so many women family and friends that she doesn’t know how/who to trust. That these things has made her defensive and she’s very territory about everything she love and built. Every so often she has to make it known that she knows who the people are that hurt her, that talks about her, that talk about her family, she has to prove that she is strong…God-made, and nothing will stop her. PUBLICLY OR PRIVATE.She knows they are watching. She will let it be known. He said your comment…unleashed what she was due to say anyway to anyone/those * THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE* who have a problem with her and anything she says or does. Under all of that is a woman who loves ME.., and want to see everyone succeed. I GOT THAT! I’LL PAY FOR IT!
After hearing that…. I decided to post a comment basically saying…Wait wait… I admire you as a leader…. I just wanted to know how your congregation is doing… which like I said before I always update my pages on how my Raisingurls are doing. Off course everything was erased. I always feel that GREAT LEADERS can always report great things about those who they influence. Another thing that really made me mad was that I never ever ever go back and forth with FB people. That is so childish to me. I have 2 sisters.. same mother same father, married and grew up in the same home. We weren’t allowed to fight and that’s the reason why we are close today. We never ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER get mad and stay mad with each other.. and we never, EVER, EVER, EVA FALL OUT with each other. So all my life my motto is… ” If I don’t get into it with MY SISTERS WHO I SEE EVERYDAY.. I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER GET IN TO IT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.. OR FB PEOPLE… NOT IN THIS LIFE.” I’ll disconnect from you first. I’m 2 years from 50…..In not spending the last days in FOOLISHNESS… back and forth with folks who I don’t know .. and don’t know me. I just can’t. My thought is this.. how bout we disconnect FOR NOW and hook back up on JUDGEMENT DAY? Getting into it with women.. is just not on my “TO DO LIST”.
Sad thing is… her Church folks were commenting saying that I was jealous. Her husband and daughter checked in. Aw… man. If I was having words with someone on my FB page.. I would hope a friend would in box me and say… CREE STOP IT!!!!! STOP IT NOW!!! Disconnect from this person and keep it moving. I DONT NEED ANYONE COMING TO MY OFFENSE AND ME… saying ‘ Thank you to other subliminal messages/postings pertaining directly to the original post.” . DO NOT RESPOND HARSHLY!!! DO NOT DO IT!!!! I would be so MAD.. to see others chime in on a post where they don’t even know this other party. Assuming that I was right! Assuming that I could never do no wrong! Assuming that its OKAY TO COMMENT ON SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. As a LEADER I THINK THAT WAY. Because in the end.. LaCrease is going to find the peace with that person. But the ONLOOKERS AND COMMENTORS wont be so quick to get over it. So sad.
Its amazing how petty we can become when we feel someone is coming after us, our kids especially….when its not even like that. In her post she talked about how great her step daughter was doing. She’s beautiful too. Now.. had I took the post as bragging and sarcastic…. we could have had a pissing contest all day about how GREAT her step daughter is and my ONE AND ONLY CHILD/DAUGHTER . But God stopped me.. that’s how WOMEN OF GOD GET CAUGHT UP. They listen to the enemy one hot second and that’s how it changes everything. End up having to erase the post, and the part I hate… people asking questions after wards.. UGH…
Even though I wanted to let her know… sister… I am not jealous as someone on your FB page said… MY daughter graduated from Wayne State with HONORS .. working on her masters. Living in her own apartment Downtown, make so much money she gives it away. Work with Judges and PROSECUTORS at the Wayne County Prosecuting Office, meeting and working with many city leaders to strengthen our Youth. Working daily with Social Workers * INTERVIEWING AND HIRING THEM* . In charge of programs in the city to help those in need for food stamps and to help with Electric/Gas Bill payment plans. Board of Directors, worked in soup kitchens weekly.. too many things to even think about. So.. we could have pissed that thread out all day. Showed her photo and LOOKED IGNORANT AFTERWARDS FOR DOING IT.. People can see for themselves.
Her dad at her downtown apartment!
But that childish. I rather for a person to meet HER in person, find out what SHE DOES, and who SHE IS .. RATHER than to read about it on FB.. ANY DAY!ANY DAY! ANY DAY! ANY DAY! ANY DAY!
In closing… Here’s what I learned. When you’re a person of INFLUENCE.. and a LEADER… never get into a pissing contest with folks in front of them. You may have to apologize later for being wrong. But if you’re prideful and arrogant.. you will find that their PRESENCE IS THE ROAR/LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.
I also learned to never ever, ever EVER fall out, bicker with OTHER women… IT GOES AGAINST WHAT I TEACH MY RAISINGURLS , its petty, childish, ignorant and ungodly. I don’t do this with MYYYYYYY 2 SISTERS I lived and grew up with since they were born….I WONT DARE WASTE time and energy doing it with other women/people PERIOD! EVA.
Look at everything as positive, Until it proves itself negative.
I learned that people pay close attention at how you handle conflict, offense, problems, issues, and debates. If you’re a LEADER, you’re graded HARDER, you have to be mindful of who is watching, what are they learning from this. Am I showing them who I am? Do I have to work harder to gain that persons trust in me over my mistake? What did THEY take from this? Are their any enemies here, or just a misunderstanding? You cannot be a LEADER and nut up on folks just because you think they are coming after you, your family and those you LOVE.
In closing… If you want to know the Spirit of that person go to their FB page and look at what is on their mind.GO BACK YEARS IF YOU WANT.. SEE WHAT KIND OF PERSON THEY ARE. Look at what they write, what their mindset is. What keeps their attention. God, Peace, Money, Stuff/Things, LOVE, KINGDOM BUILDING, Inspiration, bickering, conflict, debates, TEST THE SPIRIT. You should know better than that.. to think I would come for your family… when I have both parents alive and married. all my siblings well and doing well. All my nieces and nephews are ALIVE AND well, graduated, and not in jail. All of my cousins are alive… 1st and 2nd sets! All of my aunts are ALIVE on both sides and my parents are in their 60’s.. and I only lost a uncle. I’m blessed.. and if I love AND RESPECT my family.. I love AND RESPECT yours too. God Bless You !
If you want to be a great leader, remember to treat all people with respect at all times. For one, because you never know when you’ll need their help. And two, because it’s a sign you respect people, which all great leaders do.
#FIFTY SHADES/ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY/ PART 2 OF MY STORY/BLOG
I realized what he was doing…..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I know dayum well he aint the one doing the interviewing.” Now… I’m staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. I have no control, I felt weak, and once he saw this in my eyes he would take me mentally to a whole new height.
So… I sat there. I tried to convince myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times. He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me. Nope not today. Now…. I have this thing about me, if I catch the eye of someone attractive and for me…. its one of MY “ugly” days, then I will NEVER be intimidated no matter how good he looks or turn me on. Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. So, that kinda helps me.
But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS… skin beautiful, eyes *wish a brotha would look me into these marbles and not get caught up – lol*, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting… had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing before I left out of the house. As I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing. I know me…. I’ve been though this before. There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and become star gazed on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT A INTERVIEW. SHAT!
He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was so dayum nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.
He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there, that he had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FIONE he was as he looked at my resume. He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from that paper and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. As he asked me the first question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEEEEEE.. LOL Just like in the movie during the interview scene. All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so alive. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept looking at me. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it. LOL I was slipping away yall.
Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these inside pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the middle of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”. To myself… I’m like “OH HELL to the N word NAW… um um you wont be seeing this beautiful shapely booty, my thick thighs and my waist line that carries it all. NOT TODAY!!! LOL LOL LOL I told him that I was fine. He insist. But the way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS” and the interview just started. I didn’t want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW.
I stood up which the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I stood up and began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!! His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED LOL LOL I had never in my life FELT SOMETHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt like my breast, vagina, behind everything was EXPOSED! Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. Shat…. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL
Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he was “stealing” from me. LOL When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off!!! I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was so weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and he was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But dang….. not at a INTERVIEW!
I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY.. SMILES.. LAUGHS… COMMUNICATION…SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE that in myself.
The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in there like I WAS PART OWNER.. LOL LOL * Sho the FORK did*… Yalp had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT? LOL LOL Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “you don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YESSSS ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said yessss… I’m good!!!! 🙂 I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too”? NOT GONE HAPPEN BOO. LOL LOL LOL I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES. LOL He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table, the couch I was on and the chair he sat in. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me. They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down and in the chair that *handsome* sat in last time. We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool.
Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FIONE self on the couch between me and the interviewer… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! I cant take it. He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea I “left the building”. LOL I was at Mr. “House”. LOL I couldn’t stop looking over at him. I was a mess. He got me. He got me good. After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over and my nipples got hard. My vagina walls started doing the Harlem shake, flips, cart wheels… and whatever thoughts came to mind….. my body REACTED. AT one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts. What ever conversation I tried to muster up.. I couldn’t because the kids in my head…. scribble scrabble on my thoughts. HE got me.. h Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong setting.
Please go see Fifty Shades of Grey… if you love my story… you’ll LOVE that movie… So sexy and inviting. 🙂 Listen to another of my FAVORITE SONGS from the SOUNDTRACK… Oh.. I love this song.
#FIFTYSHADES/ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY/BLOG
FINALLY a movie that explores ME.
The kind of movie that my MIND and BODY craves. I’m a mind exploring -sexual person this is the perfect movie for my appetite. Chemistry, Romance, Body Language, Mind Games, Way with words. Take MEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🙂 lol lol
When the books first came out, I didn’t read it at all. Wasn’t interested, too many people talking about it, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didnt read what the books were about, all I knew that it was a lot of sex… that was it. Never thought about it again…
Went to the movies sometimes last year, saw the previews on the screen and thought to myself…. Ummmm…. “I gotta see that movie.” My first concerns were that I wasn’t attracted to Christian… and didn’t think Ana was all that either. Because in MY mind, in order for a movie to be good, the leads have to have great Chemistry to attract my eye right away. Put it this way…. I had never seen either of the actors before, and couldn’t attract myself to their atmosphere. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Never to Judge a book by its cover EVER again. I knew the movie was coming out Valentines Day…. I decided that I would go.
FIRST encounters… CHEMISTRY, ELEVATORS, DIRECT EYE CONTACT, HALF SMILES *while shaking the head in agreement*, INTENSE LISTENING *hard stares*, SEXUAL INTIMIDATION, SEXUALLY PARALYZED, BODY LANGUAGE NEAR OR FAR…., DIRECT WORDS * usually VERY short sentences*, MYSTERIOUS *the look in his eyes is a BRICK WALL, INVITING, THE SMELL OF HIS COLOGNE, ALLOWING THE WOMAN TO WALK AHEAD OF HIM *taking full control*, Making himself a THIRD PARTY* usually someone else comes in and start talking* while he sits back, watches and listens to your EVERY WORD. All of these things are important to me when watching a ROMANTIC movie, and also MY REAL LIFE experiences. What ever I THINK…. MY BODY RESPONDS.
I know there are people who may read this who have not seen the movie yet, so I won’t spoil it for them. But the movie opens up to my gurl… Annie Lennox ….. I Put A Spell On You. I love this song, because I first heard it years ago by Screamin Jay Hawkins * youtube him*. The SOUNDTRACK…. is one I cannot explain. I have NEVER heard a SOUNDTRACK that captures every scene to the point. I am in love with it!!! Please BLESS YOURSELF and purchase it. I have to share a few of the scenes in the movie that “did it for me”. I LOVE how in control he was, so disciplined. Controlling a little… but not over aggressive to the point that he would IRRITATE ME. Just enough to keep my interest to figure out what is it about him …………..mentally. The DIRECT *sureness* of what he wanted when he looked into her eyes…. I fell in love. The swag in his body language… spoke volumes. The question I asked myself as I was watching the movie is….. out of all the women that worked for him, that he met from interviews, in passing, what was it about her, that he wanted so badly? Men with POWER AND MONEY…. is always in search of “that gurl”. She has to be special, she has to know who she is, and what she wants in order to attract him. In the beginning of the movie, she was so shy and so nervous as she interviewed him, he picked up on it and used it to his advantage. He controlled the whole atmosphere with his DIRECT STARES….. CHAIR TO CHAIR bouncing, and 10-12 word REPLIES. TURNED ME ON IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES … LOL LOL Without telling the MOVIE…..it totally reminded me of one of MY EXPERIENCES.
A few months ago, I had went on several interviews searching for the right one for me. I was called to a 10:00 am appointment and when I walked into the lobby I was feeling GREAT and CONFIDENT. I checked in, then sat on the couch and waited for the person to “come out” to get me. As I soaked up the lovely atmosphere, and beautiful interior decorations, I noticed a glance at me. I didn’t pay it any attention because I was busy looking around the place, but when he looked over at me for the 2nd and 3rd time…. I paid attention. I said to myself…… “is this man looking at me?” As I begin to focus on him.. I noticed that he was FIONE AS HELL. TALL*waves hand in the air*… handsome, sexy, thick, PRETTY WHITE TEETH, SUITED UP, beautiful in the face, eyes that says” come get it”, sexy lips, goatee, and very humble. I sat there trying to ignore him, because I know how my body respond to what I’m thinking and seeing. A INTERVIEW was the WRONG place for this. I kept trying to ignore his glances, until I realized what he was doing.
PART 2 COMING UP….TONIGHT * smiles*
I’ll leave you with this song… one of MY FAVORITES from the Soundtrack of Fifty Shades of Grey… * please listen to it*