First question? Why are we so nice? What is it about us that makes us care free, friendly and sweet? And I ask this question because people can see it on our faces. Most of us don’t have attitudes… we have to be pushed to that limit. Now, don’t get me wrong or mixed up. I don’t read horoscopes daily * haven’t in years as a matter of fact* and I can’t remember the last time I did. But I’m writing this because I see a pattern of good women being thrown shade and all kinds of debree. That’s when I find out their sign and YUP…. they always come back as a VIRGO.
Sunday night I was watching RHOA…..but a few weeks ago they introduced Demetria McKinney. She played in Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. The gurl is beautiful, and has such a sweet and loving Spirit about her. So nice. I cant stand when women don’t want to get to know you… they start asking offensive questions, instead of listening to her share stories and speak. Its so sad because as Demetria answered their IGNORANT QUESTIONS she was trying desperately to read the faces of these cut throat goons. I felt so bad for her in the beginning, because she came in PEACE. She really * well maybe not frfr* thought that she could meet some ladies that were on the same level as herself and be cool. It killed me to see Demetria’s smiling face and nice attitude knowing they were talking about her behind her back and being FAKE….. while trying to please them with a trip and personal rooms. Many of them complained about how small it was. * blank stare* She was so sincere.
Then I thought about me. How sweet I can be and mean well with what ever I’m doing for someone, but always in the back of their mind…. its not enough. I cant stand ungratefulness. As they sat at the dinner table and chatted.. Phaedra and her had a conversation about throwing shade and asking….. were she ever on drugs… not to mention her relationship with Roger Bobb. I could see the heat on Demetria’s face, and I can see that she knew for the first time… how she’s gotta handle these goons.
A Virgo woman is nice, sweet, and sorta naive. Yeah…. we may act dumb… but we don’t miss a beat.. and if we do.. trust me we’ll go into our heads and PULL THAT FILE… And once we read it.. and remember how shady, slick, funky acting, you were…. its on and poppin. See, you can catch us off guard the first time, but once we realize what’s going on….we cut all games short. I was so heated.. I could see myself flipping the table over on those heffas. Just being disrespectful and mean. All in the name of “somebody has to leave next season and it aint me…cause I bring the drama”. That’s all… come on now.
So… I’m sitting there waiting for the Virgo to come out in Demetria.. and it peaked… but she didn’t get a chance to really get out everything she wanted to say because other women got into it. But as the weeks go on….. these goons are going to see the real her… and she’s going to have to give them that Virgo stare… eye to eye… and rip them apart LYRICALLY SPEAKING. That’s the only way those goons will stop coming for her.
See.. these group of reality stars don’t fight. You have to use your mouth and do plenty of homework on them. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… I can’t do all that talking…. Um um… nope can’t do it. I been done turned over ALL the tables, smack one so hard.. 5 will feel it. This is the very reason why I don’t have many female friends.. I HATE DRAMA.. I can’t stand women getting into it. If I can get alone with the 2 Sisters I grew up with in the same home for 22 years….. then I WISH THE HELL I WOULD… fall out with some “fighting for a season heffas”. Never that. Eva that!
Demetria boo, you aint gotta lay hands on these non fighting goons… but you gotta go there and let them know…. they got you messed up. And you know we Virgos.. we let stuff build up, THEN we nut up.SOMETIMES… not all the time. We do carry “on the spot checks”…..but don’t let it get to that point. I can already see your smile is going to change real quick as the episodes play….All I say is… stay classy… no fighting…. and check em on the spot. Don’t let a conversation go till the next meet up… tell them how you feel on site. Like my gurl Lisa Wu said….. “where you give it, is where you get it”.
I guess in this entry I’ll do some rambling. Lets start with RHOA.
I’m still stuck on Apollo and last nights episode. How the hell could he do what he did without thinking about his family and then TURN THE STORY AROUND ON PHAEDRA and accuse her of not being there for him? Do you see that type of thinking?… I don’t be bothered with men like that. When they start talking “side ways” I will too, then after I get tired of that. I’ll start acting “dumb”.. after that…. then I’m done with the friendship/relationship because its pretty much going down hill. And in this case it did. He got mad and asked her for a divorce…. SHE GLADLY ACCEPTED!
A. while you were fresh out of jail Apollo.. she loved you and married you. B. You decided not to go with the “family business” to run a funeral home and go at it as husband and wife. C. You wanted your own money and decided that scheming was the way to go. I’m stuck on how he figure that he could just skip over all that…. and discuss Phaedra not going to his sentencing. I’ll tell him… look….. before we get to the “icing” we gon talk about the making of the “cake”. You did wrong to start with, didn’t think about me, didn’t think about the kids, didn’t think about our family, you thought more about money, and impressing people who are still walking around here Scott free. No one wants to run back and forth to a jail house with 2 BOYS..while you jail house talk me into staying with you for your return home. Women aint doing that “no mo”. We look at that situation as YOU LEFT US.. You did things that were more important than me and your kids. Women look at that as you LOVED US.. but not enough to do right so that we could all be together. Sorry I don’t feel any sympathy… especially, especially, especially when he tried to turn it all on her. Only in passing of a conversation will he acknowledge his wrong, never coming to the conclusion that what HE did …. is what got them in that situation in the first place. #SEEYOUIN5
I’m speaking from experience. I was dating this guy and we were trying to get it together. He was the sweetest man, loving, kind.. and he LOVED HIM SOME LACREASE. But he kept going back to jail. I was there for him, going to court with him, writing him everything.I LOVED THIS MAN. I don’t have one bad thing to say about him. He got out, did the same thing, and went back. When he came home… I was done with him. Told him to come over and pick up his things a few pair of socks and papers. He was sad, knew I meant business, we kept in touch but our relationship was over.
He went back to jail!!!
Came home and got it together. By this time I was long gone. We kept in touch from time to time. He had gotten married, was happy and doing well. Years had passed one day he contacted me, I invited him over and we caught up on old times. Time went by again, he came over this time he was in a different place. Told me that I WAS THE REASON why things went downhill for him. Told me I was a good woman, and that he loved me more than anyone he’s ever been with, and that if I hadn’t left him in his time of need ((jail)), then his life would have been different. He tried to make me believe that I was the reason why his life was the way it was, saying had I hung in there with him, we would be together. I wasn’t happy with that conversation, because just like Apollo, HE made the decision to do illegal things.You’re not going to put that on MEEEEE I’m sorry. He left my house.
Two weeks later he sat on the edge of his bed and shot and killed himself in the head. For years… I thought about his last words to me. So after watching last nights episode it bought back many memories. I hope Phaedra continues to stand strong. I hope she takes the boys to see him, I would hate for her to keep them from each other, but as far as herself…. she has to keep it moving in order to have peace of mind.
So, I’m sitting here watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Clearly reminding me of Why did I get married…… as Kenya is the one with NO HUSBAND, NO CHILDREN.. NO NOTHING… but trouble.
I’m having a hard time understanding why these other women can’t see the drama she’s bringing to the cast. Maybe its in their contract to have to sit there and be apart of something that only makes them look like weak women. Oh well… couldn’t be ME!
I’ve never been married. But I be darn, if I see my husband talking to someone who I clearly warned … that if you have any issues or conversations for ME or my HUSBAND… I need to always be present and apart of it. Now keep in mind this is not a random… this is because of an incident that happened in the past. My Question: Why is that so hard to understand? This is why when you’re speaking, you need to be CLEAR of what you’re saying ESPECIALLY when dealing with WOMEN…. it doesn’t need to be a 15 minute conversation…. only 3-5. To me either Apollo is either slow, or have a hard time understanding “lines you don’t cross” in a marriage.
After the relationship with my daughters father… I promised I would NEVER be insecure with my man.And I stayed true to my word. I realized I LOOK GOOD TOO. And, I sure don’t want a MAN who’s insecure either. If I ever had to be…. I would leave… one thing about LACREASE WALKER…. I have no problems leaving a friendship or relationship once I see its not working. NONE.. A BLESSING I TRULY HAVE. #GIFTOFGOODBYE. Let me say this…. I will work on my marriage, talk, cry, go to counseling, meet up with other married couples for advice…. but I refuse for my SELF ESTEEM to go down. Hell to the neva naw!
Some women are so full of drama.. I wish a woman/man WOULD disrespect our relationship/marriage. The part that made me mad about is Pheadra, she’s so “sophisticated ” but maybe she didn’t want to really get down with him, because she was filming, but she should have made him come to the room with her to talk that out. I wouldn’t be able to sleep, or discuss anything else until we talked. I’m not going to beat around the bush, we’re not going to talk in front of company, we’re not going to use curse words to get our point across, we’re not going to raise our voices, and before we go to sleep…. we should have made up. All that next day, talking in codes, making him kiss her as*… I wouldn’t play all that. She’s keeping it build up inside and its causing resentment.. I can see it on her face. That will make a man step out too. Nope.. it aint right… but it happens.
Single women… like Kenya always have THE MOST TO SAY about people who are married. She doesn’t have a clue to mother hood or being a wife. Its so disrespectful to see her so deep into their business. I, do NOT play that at all. I wish a woman WOULD get in me and my husbands business.
First of all, the type of woman I am, I WILL NEVER make you feel as if you can comment on my relationship. And let me make this clear…. I say I don’t play that not because IM JUST SO GONE AND HEAD OVER HEELS OVER HIM… but its because that’s crossing the line. And when someone cross the line on MY BUSINESS with MY HUSBAND…. a beep goes off in my head.. meaning you’re IN MY LANE..I’ll give you that look, and you’ll have so many seconds to vacate the premises. From there… JUST HAVE GOD ON SPEED DIAL…. cause that’s what its going to take to get me to calm down.
Now let me say this….. both of my Sisters are married. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE , LOVE their husbands. They’re the best brother n laws any sister could have. The type of RELATIONSHIP me and my Sisters have…is this…… I don’t get in their business. My sisters don’t call me, text me, inbox me, or tell me the problems they’re having. FIRST OF ALL … I DON’T CARE… IT’S NOT MY BUSINESS. AND ITS NOT MY LANE. I love that, because when we’re all together, I feel good and comfortable around them. So, when they ask for my opinion about something in the relationship.. THEY ALWAYS VALUE IT. ALWAYS.. ALWAYS! They know I love them all, I don’t take sides JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE MY SISTERS. I tell them to truth, I use words to get to the point, and its not a 2 hour conversation. The truth is always to the point. This is why an authentic woman like me will always stand out.
So, I say all of that to say…..learn to stay in your lane when it comes to a Marriage. If God Blesses me with a Husband…..God, Communication, along with understanding, faithfulness, and keeping people out of our BUSINESS will be our guide….. THIS IS ONE AREA IN MY LIFE… I DO NOT PLAY! *
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
I realized that I’m REAL QUICK to tell somebody….. if someone on your Facebook page is negative and post attention seeking stats….. to delete them or ignore their post.
But when it comes to RHOA Nene Leakes and Kenya Moore…. I can’t seem to follow my own advice….. to stop watching the show.
After this past Sunday’s episode…. my blood was boiling, and all I could do was walk around my apartment, to try and understand “what type of people are these women”? I can EASILY SIT HERE AND SAY… you know what.. that’s them! This is how they are, this has nothing to do with me, I’m going to HEAVEN.. what they do is on them. I could sit here and say….I don’t care what comes out of their mouth…. they’ll have to pay the consequences for being MEAN GURLS. And when things start to fall apart for them…. they did it to themselves.
But I don’t want to feel that way. I care too much. So, I asked myself why?
For me…. when I see these BEAUTIFUL, SUCCESSFUL, BLACK WOMEN with their OWN TV show… IN MY MIND…. they’re suppose to represent just who they are. I HATE to see them gossiping, disrespecting each others marriages and relationships. A few of them are so insecure that they PRIDE themselves on learning and studying “damaging information” on their cast mates….anything to look better. Its so sickening and sad.
But here is my biggest issue. These women not only have the PODUIM AND STAGE to uplift themselves and others, but they have the POWER to show the world God. I know not everyone will get on TV and do that…. but here is what I DO KNOW. If they continue to get on TV to disrespect themselves and others instead of uplifting and motivating……… where they show out on STAGE ( TV, Media) WILL BE WHERE GOD SHOW THEM…………..WHO REALLY HAS THE POWER. That day is coming. I see it. One by one.
My prayer is that someone will pull them to the side and talk to them.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Today as I sit back and think about the episode of RHOA with Mama Joyce. I can’t but help think about how she reminds me of my dad in a way. Growing up and even now I felt as if my mom was really a wife to my dad. She made sure he was taken care of, and since he had his own issues with his mom * that’s another story* he was SPOLIED as far as I’m concerned. We did everything for him. If my dad wanted some water and didn’t feel like getting it, he had 4 kids to chose from to get it for him. Of course as a kid, you can’t wait to “get grown” so that you won’t have to do those things anymore. Little did we know.. what we hated as kids… we end up doing it to our own. LOL
As we all moved out on our own… my mom left my dad after 36 years of marriage, and all that my dad made us do as KIDS….. he found himself having to do them for HIMSELF and he HATED it. He never imagined having to do simple things like getting water, or running his bath water on his own. He always had us to do everything for him. Now… as adults my dad still have this thing where he feels that we’re suppose to run over to his apartment and do everything for him. And the thing is.. we LOVE him and wouldn’t mind, we don’t care… but the Spirit in which he wants it done… is THE SAME AS MAMA JOYCE and that I WILL NEVER GET WITH. EVER! I understand that Mama Joyce may have some concerns for Todd, or even Kandi’s BFF… that’s normal…. but the SPIRIT IN WHICH ITS DONE IN….. has got to change. The loud talking, ready to fight, cursing, accusations, taking over the conversation, and demanding things to change, when its NOT HER “function” to do so…. cannot continue to happen .. its time Kandi speak up. Speak up doesn’t mean to “go off” or “disrespect” her. I mean in a way her mom understand that Kandi has her own life, and that her MOM has no right to give her ultimatums.
I say my dad reminds me of Kandi’s mom is because like my dad, you can tell that Kandi was a great child growing up, always did what her mom told her, didn’t want to disappoint her, wanted to please her and make her happy, didn’t want ANY TROUBLE…. at all. Even as a adult making good money, Kandi make sure that her mom is taken care of. Comes over when her mom calls, answers the phone no matter what she’s doing, come over even when she’s not in the mood. Hmmm.. reminds me of how it was with us. I see so clearly where there is going. The cut off point in Mama Joyce eyes, as Kandi being an adult, a mother, a sister, and a soon to be wife * if not already*. Kandi’s mom hasn’t disconnected in those areas. I see it.. I live it. I KNOW.
I see myself in Kandi so much. Very sensitive. Its funny because my sister could say her peace with my dad in a nice tone, with high self esteem, love in her eyes for him, direct and to the point.. and will hop in her car and go to the Casino and play for hours without another thought about it. Me….. on the other hand. I have to sit back and go over why he’s acting like this, why me, what did I do wrong, what makes him this way… and cry at the same time. But baby something happened this summer concerning my dad and myself…….and I HAVE FINALLY LET IT GO!! * more on that later*
I grew up with my dad. lived in the same house with him until I moved out at 22. HE and my mom was married before I was even born and IM THE OLDEST. He always wanted control… the same as I see in Kandi’s mother. I noticed that if I wasn’t doing what my dad wanted and in a certain time… he wouldn’t talk to me. AND FOR A LONG TIME. I HATED THAT!!!! I was always the one who had to call and make up first. He never called me first. I knew all the things he loved, and when I missed him… I would go out and get those things for him just so that we could be back on good terms…… and we were COOL AS EVER.
This summer I got tired of that. I got tired of doing stuff to please him…. what I found out was….. PLEASING PEOPLE LIKE MY DAD, AND KANDI’S MOM IS ONLY TEMPORARILY. It wears off. You can bet….. your house and brand new truck….. in a few weeks or days….. there is another situation lurking where there is the need to TEMPORARILY…………. PLEASE THEM AGAIN. August of this year was MY BREAKTHRU..MY TURNING POINT…. my dad was mad at my mom * because she was too tired to take him someplace* when he called me. I took him, and all the way there he talked about my mom… which made me so mad. That same week, I took him to the grocery store , we were cool. As he got of the car I heard GOD LOUD AND CLEAR when he said….. “your dad is going to get mad at you soon”. The week wasn’t even up, when he called me and asked me to call my mom and ask her for my aunts number. I told him to call my mom for yourself, she’s not mad at you… YOU’RE MAD AT HER. That was my way of getting him to call her, but he’s SO STUBBORN he said “are you going to call her and ask for the number or not”? I said… No daddy. He hung up on me and NEVER CALLED BACK
I hated that. But God warned me. This time I did something different. All my life I wanted to please him and make up with him first. So, I didn’t call him, I wanted to see just how long it would take for him to call me… HE DIDNT. After 3 months … I called him FIRST…. AGAIN. The point I’m making is. …Kandi’ mother probably get mad at her all the time and NOT SPEAK TO HER… I’m willing to bet that Mama Joyce is so stubborn that Kandi is the one who is always making up first, calling, texting, visiting, and oh not to mention being REJECTED sometimes, because her mom is not ready to make up yet. I’m not saying STOP TAKING CARE OF HER… not saying STOP TALKING TO HER… but I am saying sit down and have a talk with her. Kandi is scared that one day… just one day…. her mom is going to stop talking to her ALL TOGETHER, Little does she know as bad as it may sound… MAMA JOYCE IS CAPABLE AND READY AT ANYTIME “SHE FEELS” she has “lost” Kandi for good. * IN HER MIND*. Kandi is afraid that everybody’s going to know about it, and that makes her very uncomfortable just thinking about it. I know your FEARS boo. Been there.
But guess what I learned….. they are who they are…. and there is nothing you can do about it. They have no plans to change… because they DON’T SEE WHAT THEY’RE DOING WRONG. When you don’t see your wrongs….. WHY do something different? Mama Joyce have it in her to go days and days and weeks and months not talking to Kandi… but truth is that time may come sooner or later. At some point Mama Joyce is going to ask Kandi to choose….. “Todd or me”… And that’s when things really get REAL. Chose LOVE Kandi. What ever that means to YOU.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy