Month: May 2006

The Six Deadly Dating Sins

The Seven Deadly Dating Sins      

   

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve come across a woman who thought her new relationship was progressing when seemingly out of nowhere it fell apart. Her man was mysteriously gone, and she was clueless as to why.

From what I’ve observed as a relationship therapist, during the dating phase men may be almost totally silent about something that bothers them until the very moment they can’t take it anymore and abruptly pull the plug. They may never explain exactly what caused the sudden change. They simply disappear without a trace, and the women are left wondering, Why didn’t he just say something?

 

 By Dr. Ronn Elmore~

1. Too Intimate Too Soon

CeCe always prided herself on keeping her wits about her when the heat was on, but it had been a while since she had been with a man who was so attentive. Even though it was only her second date with Errol, she felt as if some of her long-lost sense of romance and passion were being reawakened. Before she knew it, she was caught up in the moment doing what she knew better than to do. Afterward she remembered staring at the ceiling until dawn wondering why she had given in. Errol called the following day (thank goodness) and sounded, well, casual. CeCe began to obsess over everything, from the tone of his voice to the regularity of his calls and even his facial expressions. She couldn’t stop wondering what he really thought of her and whether their relationship was going anywhere, Errol liked her but began to feel that the cost of having sex with CeCe was too high. He wasn’t ready to declare a long-term commitment to her. It was too early in the game to be pinned down. Their budding romance died on the vine before it ever had a chance to bloom.

What went wrong: Premature sex tends to bump expectations up to a higher level when there’s no relationship to base them on. Sure, you get the physical pleasure, but there can be a tendency to overplay the emotional content of the act. It becomes nearly impossible to return to the early stages of building a relationship incrementally after you’ve shared your body- and, at least momentarily, your heart- with him. You’ll probably find him too much of an emotional risk; he’s likely to feel its too much work to live up to the expectations he thinks you have now.

Solution: Have your limits firmly set in your mind before he rings your doorbell for that first date. You’re less likely to get lost in the moment if you think ahead to the morning after and how you’ll feel if he gets the idea that it doesn’t take much for you to compromise your limits. If you have no intentions of ending up in bed with him, consider confining your date to very public places.

     You must also understand that men are wired differently from women.  After intense physical or emotional intimacy, men typically move to reclaim their sense of independence. They instinctively move away from you, a little or a lot, in preparation for moving closer to you. It’s their built-in cycle: independence, intimacy, independence…………..

 Dating Sin # 2 tomorrow!

 

 

Hey yahoo Family,

What advice do you have for a 38 year old God fearing Christian woman as myself, who does not have a special someone? I met this guy yesterday he\’s nice looking too, own his own business. But there is one problem. he\’s shorter than me, and he\’s about 100 years old.

Why does it seem as if Im running into men that I am not attracted too? And the ones I do like, they are like octopuses, and wont keep their hands off me.

What advice would you have for me?

Sign,
Where is my husband?

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

“I’m jus sayin”

 

Ok yall know what? Every week Im going to do a blog under this name. Cause see my brain is leaking and I need somewhere to put all these thoughts. lol Im going to be spitting out thoughts, so be prepared for a ride inside my head. Ready?

 

Ok, I dont understand how “white people” ( no offense to any one reading…..Im jus sayin) but why do we black people have to learn to speak properrrrrrr English? See most black people grow up using words like, yall, dey, fo I can, whycome, etc. But white people come out of the womb using properrrrr (talking like Madea) language. Why the heck we gotta learn properrrrr English? And who said our language is not the correct way to speak? Why we gotta take english classes in order to speak well? Please somebody tell Lacrease why do white people come out speaking the “correct way,” and we don’t. I need phone numbers to the person/people who said this. I have black friends who speak the “correct way” but they azz sound white to me. I mean can we talk proper english without sounding white? And what does that mean? It means that we have to learn to speak like them. Then they call our talking “ebonics”. I jus dont understand that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m jus saying!

 

Why this gurl came through my line yesterday,

(she was blk) and call herself telling me that earlier when she was shopping, she got in line that was 12 items or less, but she had more. And my coworker Taneika told her look, you have more than 12 items, I’ll take you this time, but this is for 12 items or less next time.

 

So I ask the lady so why you get mad? She said because wasn’t nobody behind me!!!!!!!! Yall know I wanted to go off on her right? See Im not fake Im not bout to sit up here and let you think that you are right………when you are wrong. She went on to say see I work for customer service and I know how you supposed to treat the customers. I said well maam the sign did say 12 items or less, then she gon say. Well her job was to please the customer, and plus wasn’t nobody behind her. I said maam you  missing the point. She said andddddd she had a nasty attitude. I said Taneika?????? I said she is one of the sweetest cashiers in the building, then she gon say, well she must be having a bad today. I wanted to say so bad get yo butt outta my line  . I wouldnt have waited on you either!!!!!!!……….. I’m jus sayin!

 

So I said, are you mad cause she told you it was 12 items or less, or because she had a bad day? She was like ahmmmmmmmmmm both. ( dum) rolling my eyes!

 

I told her, I am a person big on rules. I said maam can I talk to you for a min she was like yeah yeahhhh. I said if you went over to your gurls house and she have a sign in her house that says no smoking……….and you wanted to light a cigarette this small ( I showed her in length)  would you light it up anyway? She was like yeahhhh cause I feel if she’s my gurl then she should understand.  I looked at her, and said to myself………ok Lacrease wrap this up…………….cause this heffa dont even get it.

 

 I said but the sign says no smoking! I said see its not about “she’s your friend”. Its about no smoking! ( I wanted to say so bad) You so busy thinking about you, you, you, till you dont think further to say well maybe her kids has asthma, or maybe her husband cant stand the smell.  Maybe she dont want it in her carpet. Everybody aint got to tell you why they made their decision! They dont have to put a sign up that says no ” ” and then an explanation after it. Those kinda people are thinking about themselves.

 

She wanted to still validate WHY she was right about being in the wrong dang on line. I  wanted to ask her dum butt so bad but customers were there, If you are at a red light, and you want to turn right, but the sign say NO RED TURN, would you turn anyway just because aint no cars coming? You cannot do what the heck you want to do in this world………….cause dey yo friend, cause aint no cars coming, cause aint nobody behind you( in line) (sitting at a red light), cause I aint got no food ( on stealing), cause Im sleepy ( on sleeping on the job). It’s up to the person in charge to make that decision!!! Its up to her friend to say ok gurl yeah you can smoke, or to the cops yeah you can dis regard this no turn on red sign, or to the person your stealing from, yeah you can steal. ITS NOT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHEN YOU CAN BREAK THE RULES. Then the first thing we holla…………..why God lets this happen to me? Why my family wont get me out of jail? Why the police write me a $100.00 ticket? Why I got fired from my job, I told them I was sleepy. Its about time we stop finger pointing and be Held Accountable for Our Own Actions!

 

Now everybody say: Its about time for me to be held accountable for my own actions!

 

I dont go for that the people are always right. Cause I aint go lie, sometimes I go into a store fowl as I don’t know what. Knowing my attitude aint right. When Judgment Day come aint go be no, Lisa did this, and see what had happened was. John came over and he got us something to drink, and after that Coco came over and then Lady J made the phone call, and then Blk mirror mirror killed her. Aint go be none of that. Aint go be no preludes……….its just gon be you answering to your part of what you did!

 

• Admit you did it
• Take your punishment
• Forgive yourself and others involved
• And make sure you learned a lesson
• Move the heck on!

I’m jus sayin……………