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Information Overload: Monica says there’s no point in wasting time with a man who can’t deal with “the real me”. So on the first few dates with Steve she gave him the full 411 on all her past failed relationships and clinical details about her commitment issues. Monica knew this might be risking too much too soon, but she had been deep into relationships before only to watch the man flee–after she had already invested her heart–because he couldnt handle the real Monica, warts and all. Steve seemed to be handling it all admirably, nodding with compassion and understanding. But before long, he got tied up with a big project at work and couldn’t spare a mintue for her.
What Went Wrong: A man values a steady progression from one stage of intimacy and personal disclosure to the next. Skipping ahead is a shock to his system that often sends him packing without giving notice. A man will move on from a woman who seems to be too much emotional work to another who appears less complicated. The tendency to tell it all, all at once, however, is not limited to women. Men can be guilty of it as well, and women who encounter them can be equally repelled.
Solution: If you have intimate personal information to share and you’re not hearing anything nearly as personal from him, then the relationship hasn’t developed enough to go there. Allow for some reciprocity before progression to the next level of disclosure. Keep your deep stuff within the confines of your support network. When he’s ready to know more, he’ll let you know and begin to share some of his own. Until then, remain fully dressed emotionally. It’s not deceptive to dole out the real you a piece at a time; its the wisdom of restraint.
By Ronn Elmore
Inside the mind of cree 
My daddy always told me “don’t’ never empty your head out.” He use to say that to me all the time, I never understood what he meant. till I got grown.
I remember telling my sister, gurl quit telling all your ex male secrets.” Then after a while he is going to start throwing some of that stuff back in your face. Stuff you aint even doing no more. When your new friend know too much too soon, to me that person has a certain power. Because notice that they only know what you tell them, and most times its drama from the past.
Next thing he/she will be saying is……………………..that’s why such and such use to do you like that! That’s why you this and that’s why you that? You’ll be standing there looking dumb. That has happened to me before, and that’s when I learned to keep something’s to myself.
Lacrease
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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my dad once told me.. if a man cares…he will ask..and if he don’t ask…you don’t tell….God…i miss my daddy..
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if a man will listen a woman will tell 100% of everything without him ever asking but if she tells it all in a short frame of time she becomes like a read book put back on the shelf only to be read when there is nothing lse to do
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i have a dont ask dont tell policy
lol
u have to ask the RIGHT ?’S
LOL
i could care less about what happened b4 me….whatever happened happenED…it got u here…to me…lets move on please……. lol
i agree with Milton save it until theres nothing left to talk about…..
i’ve had dudes i MET the FIRST night talk about an EX…i look @ them like i dont care really b.u.t. ummmmmmmmm, dude, y AREEEEEEEEEEEE u talkin about her now? lmaooooooooooooooooo
poor things….sum people can’t move on mentally sumtimes…..time heals all and after a few ppl skip out on em…they’ll learn to keep their mouthz SHUT!!!LoL
-zip-
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I love all of the comments above… (i could care less about what happened b4 me….whatever happened happenED…it got u here…to me…lets move on please……. lol) RIGHT!! I don’t want to hear about the (Ex.) Good or Bad… Some people think they’re giving you a compliment saying… You cook better than… So & So… Or when you’re walking around in just your under clothes & they say… I used to hate when so & so did that because she didn’t have a body like…. ((I think— Aaaahm, Ok why are you telling me this?))
(Don’t empty your head) LOL Whewwwww that’s a good one! (Doesn’t ask, Don’t tell) LOVE IT! (Back on the shelf) Honestly, other than learning material, there’s only been one book I’ve read twice and I think I may have skipped a few pages. So— I’m Soooo loving that comment also!
Without leaving something for the imagination (that’s telling all or walking around half naked) one can quickly become a bore or make someone not interested in what’s important. And what’s important is for them to get to know the person you are now, Not who you used to be, what you used to do, what ‘goods’ you have to offer. Some people think if she/he put up with it from this person or that person… they can get away with it & it will be looked over or constantly forgiven if they were to do it as well. They will truly have something to use against you if it comes to that.
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I agree with all that’s been said here. Pertinent information is enough for me to start off with. I’m more interested in the “you” now.
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LOL Nik … we too much alike ..but its funny how you not telling .. may set the other person up to tell all… And some people tell all to get you to do the same.. But getting information from me is like pullin teeth… its a process it just doesn’t happen …
And i tell people information that they need to know , things that can eventually help them in the future….. like how stubborn I am, how I don’t take any mess, I give that information up front so there are no suprises when I “go off” on someone ……. LOL Cuz I do reserve the right to ” go off’ erry now and again.
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God knows I love yall so much!!!!! He knows it. Thanks for stopping by family.
One more to go!
Crease
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