I know its been a minute. Its hard being consistent when you want/try to do so many things. My mind is all over the place sometimes whew!!! LOL
Lately I’ve been reading this book by my gurl Joyce Meyer called How to HEAR FROM GOD~ and its the bomb. I bought it a long time ago, its one of those books where you can pick it up and read it 1000 times, because she explains things so clearly and she is straight to the point about it. I’ll get to that tomorrow. Today I want to talk about “Handing the keys over to God”.
I LOVE to drive.
I always had a FEAR of driving and so finally at age 32 I got my license. One day, I’m going to buy myself a fast car, because I have a need every now and then for SPEED. Whenever I go to dinner with friends or family, I’m always the first to say….. I’m driving my own car, or yall can ride with me. It could be one of those functions where, we all want to ride together, talk, and laugh, I will always volunteer to drive. Instead of driving to the mall that’s 3 minutes away, I will drive to the one that’s 45 minutes away. When I went to Atlanta in June I drove from 10 am to 1 am in the morning. When I rent a hotel room to get away for a weekend, I wont go to the ones downtown Detroit, I will ride out to the one that’s almost an hour away. That’s how deep my LOVE for driving is.
So recently I asked myself…… Why do you always want to drive when sometimes its not necessary? Why instead of driving their car, you always chose to drive in your own car? I can no longer say its just because….. I LOVE to drive. My real reason because I LOVE to be in CONTROL.
I’m not bossy when it comes to the time we’re leaving a function, or when we’re coming back. I enjoy driving period. If someone has someplace to go afterwards, I will take them. I have no problem going anywhere. It could be 4 of us in the car, everybody can fall asleep , I don’t care, I just enjoy driving.
Part of me feel that if I’m driving, I don’t have to worry about getting us in a car accident. To ride on the passenger side would be for me to “allow someone else to get me to my destination”. Which would mean I would have to sit there. I’m not at all saying that they can’t drive….. I’m not saying that at all. I trust myself. If I drive, I wont have to ask questions, I don’t have to worry about what route I’m taking, how long were staying, when were coming home..Cause I would know. Wow Deep Huh? I realize this is the REAL reason why I LOVE to drive versus sitting on the passenger side “doing nothing” and waiting to arrive at my destination.
Now, I realize why its so hard to “hand over the keys to God” with certain things in my life. I like to drive and that’s the reason why I feel sometimes I’m not moving as fast. I have the keys and don’t want to turn them over to the REAL DRIVER……. GOD. I have been selfish with the keys , and now I feel the time IS NOW to hand them over, so that I can sit back and relax ON THE PASSENGER side, without asking questions, without wonder when we’re going to arrive, without asking how many hours, or days, or mintues. Wow, this is real deep to me as I type.
Now, I’m secretly asking….God do I trust you? YES, I trust him! I’m sure not showing it in my certain situation. I feel bad because he’s the one who has gotten me through some hard, hard, hard times, but Im finding that Im holding the keys and is afraid of turning them over. Not because he won’t do all the things he has told me that he’s gonna do, ( oh, thats a done deal) but its because I DONT KNOW WHEN? That’s the part that’s “killing me” ( a figure of speech). If I give up the keys, I know God is NOT going to answer my 100,000 questions about my arrival date to this. I spend a lot of time with him and I KNOW FOR A FACT, he’s not moved by my many questions. LOL I know with God, I have to just sit back and “LET HIM DRIVE”. I know he’s not going to answer my questions on this subject……because this is the area that he’s working on me . Quietness is what he wants ( concerning my destination), while I patiently sit on the passenger side. Can you imagine how hard this is to a person who always want to control things, and always want to drive the life, that I didn’t give to myself? I don’t know if he’s taking the streets to my destiny and desires, or the highway, the service drive, the turn pike, the neighborhoods, or the airways. But I do know this , God will be doing MY driving.
I’m a visual person, I have to see myself actually doing what I vision. Tonight I saw myself handing over the keys to the Lord . Finally! I’m going to sit back and enjoy the scenery , talk and laugh with him ALL the way to my destiny,and desires. I even noticed…..that I don’t have to wear a seat beat. 🙂 I’m with God!!
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” (Psalm 37:4,7)