If you know me.. you know that I absolutely love and admire Tyler Perry. When it comes to his movies and plays he speaks my language. Even though this movie doesn’t come out until Friday March 14, 2014. I have a lot to say about being a single mom raising Neishia. Which leads me to this post about The Single Moms Club.
I moved into a upstairs 2 family flat, with my best friend living under me. She had 3 kids, and I had Neishia. I didn’t have a car, but my friend did. When she wanted to go grocery shopping without the kids, I would watch them for her, and there were times when we packed up the kids and went together. When Neishia started Preschool, I worked MIDNIGHTS so that when she came home from school she ate dinner, did chores, and did her homework . It was an everyday schedule that we had.
I loved going to the movies. We would get dressed on Saturday morning, and catch the bus to the mall to shop and see a movie. I remember the day I taught her that whenever you go to the movies, you cant talk. I explained to her that when the lights are off, people want to see and hear the movie, and that it was rude to talk. I told her that I would get her anything she wanted to drink and snack on, and if she had to use the bathroom or ask me a question, she had to whisper in my ear. She caught on real quick, I never had to take her out of the movies for boredom or whining. She enjoyed the movies just as much as I did. LOL Once I realized that she got it.. we went to the movies EVERY, EVERY, EVERY, EVERY, EVERY single weekend.
When she started going to school all day, I quit my midnight job and started working at her school. I wanted to know the teachers, the administrators, and the students. I was on every board you name. Education is very important to me, and I made sure that she was getting the best of it. By me working at the school, I got her in the habit of going everyday, so that when it was necessary for her/me to stay home, she would “feel some kinda way” about missing a day. Boy did that work *more on that later*.
By the time she started 5th grade. I had moved into a 4 family flat apartment, which I LOVED. I quit working at the school, and started a full time 9-5 job as a Cosmetics Coordinator. That was perfect for us, my downstairs neighbor or her mom who lived directly down the street from us, would walk with the kids home everyday. Not long after that I would come home, make dinner, help her with her homework and after wards we would spend the rest of the evening together. Born on the same day… we were/are very close.
I LOVED the people who I shared a 4 family flat with. Across the hall from me * we lived down stairs* was an older lady who worked with me at the school before I left and her grown son Lamar. Upstairs was my gurl Yvette * Kim* and across from her was Loraine. Once the landlord fixed up the downstairs apartment a lady name Sonya moved in. We all built a bond so close, it was unreal. I was at the stage in my life where I loved to go to clubs, cabarets, and to see the male dancers. With the village of women that I had in my own building, I never not once had to sit out a function because I didn’t have a baby sitter. I went out 4-5 times a week for years, got up for work the next morning, got my baby off to school, help with homework, had my male company over, cleaned up, AND cooked. I was in my 20’s and I was doing it all. LOL
There were often days, when we would leave our doors open in the inside of the OUTSIDE door, so that when one of us had to run a quick errand and the older kids didn’t want to come down, I could just call up the stairs to check on them. While the smaller children came down. This is how we took care of our business. You cant possibly take your kids to everything you had to do. Especially when it came to taking care of business. I remember when we had a terrible ice storm. My apartment had an electric stove, but up stairs were gas stoves. Me and Neishia had to spend nights up stairs and make dinner with them because our apartment was too cold. We played cards all day, something we did everyday anyway. Those were the best times to come together.
There were times when we all went out together, all of us in the building. I would call my baby sister over and she would watch all of our kids, she got paid lots of money for those times. I can’t even count on my fingers how many times we had to come together and make dinner. All of us loved to cook. Only one of us had a car, so we made dinner every day for our kids. When money was low, we couldn’t make it to the grocery store, or when we didn’t have any thing to cook. Somebody in the building had some food. None of us were prideful, we stuck together. We would all get together in one apartment and have dinner together. They use to love my fried chicken and collard greens. Ooo weeee, we had some great times in that building.
When it came to dating, I never wanted Nesha to meet any of the guys unless I was really liking them or spending a lot of time with them. That was something I took very serious. I even dated her teacher for several years. I wouldn’t dare let her see him. LOL I dated about 4 Police Officers, but nothing serious. Looking back on them…. several were possessive…… but FIONE AS WINE.. UM UM UM Baaaaaaby!!!
I moved out of the apartment building and into a 2 bedroom house. By this time Nesha was in Jr High. She started 2 years of High School in this house, then I moved around the corner to a 4 bedroom house… which I loved even more than the 2 bedroom. She graduated from High School there, went to college for 4 years… and NOW making more money than she ever thought possible. I’m proud of the village that help to raise her. I keep in touch with them all on FB. As a matter of fact all of our kids are grown and doing VERY WELL.
I feel bad for the kids growing up these day, many parents just don’t want to get involved with other people children. Its way more dangerous now too, because they have Internet, our kids didn’t have that until they got last year into high school. This is why I must see this movie this weekend. Its going to bring back so many memories of how I raised my daughter as a Single Parent. My hope is that after seeing this movie that more single parents would join together and help each other out, this way they can be parents, be friends, and have fun.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy