Communication is Everything!/BLOG
Hey Family
Yesterday my mom invite me, my daughter, and niece over for dinner. We had a really good time talking and laughing at the dinner table. We got on the subject of being outspoken.
My niece was sharing the fact that she’s outspoken, but as she shared more conversations I realized that she was more outspoken when it came to asking questions about things she wanted to know. For example giving advice, and sharing personal stories. But when it came down to things that she really needed to outspoken in, she wasn’t. I taught her how to weed out things that wasn’t necessary to be outspoken and so drawn into, so that she could focus on the things that she needed to be outspoken in.
She shared with me that at her dad’s home she has her own bedroom. Someone went into her bedroom and took a few items out, that she saw else where in the home. There are only 2 people who live in the home. When I asked her why didn’t she confront the person* dad’s girlfriend* who went into her room and removed the items…. she felt that since she’s outspoken that it wouldn’t come out right, and that it would end up in an argument. I shared with her… see that was the time to be OUTSPOKEN. Someone went into your room and removed your items without your knowledge and consent. Instead of her being “outspoken” and to the point… but also direct to the person who did it to let them know that its not okay….. she didn’t say a word. This is a problem so many people like her have.
I find people to be outspoken, are outspoken about the wrong things!
I know because I use to be the same way. You cant go into a grocery store and go off on a cashier just because she tells you she can’t help you because she’s on lunch break, but at the same time offered to get you help. But then you get to the register to pay for your things, you stand there for 15 minutes waiting for a cashier to acknowledge your presence while her face is turned towards her coworker talking it up. That’s crazy to me. So many people do this and it drives me crazy. There reason for not saying anything is because ” if they say something ” THAT CLEARLY NEEDS TO BE SAID”, may not come out right”. These people want to say what they want to say… but don’t want to face confrontation when its something personal. Well this is something you need to speak up on. Its stupid to stand there for 15 minutes while someone talks while you need your merchandise rung.
Then I realized….. some people don’t know how to talk to others without offending. They’re so use to being outspoken, they never learned to speak in a tone where people “get it”. They try their hardest not to offend people WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL ISSUES. Its easier for them to be outspoken when it comes to issues that is not their own. I know so many people like this. They look at it this way…. if I tell this person how I feel about my things and I know that I’m “out spoken” even though I’m right, this could end in a heated confrontation. They don’t want that to happen, so they shut down. But when it comes to someone else’s issues and story, they feel its important to be “honest” and out spoken, not caring how the person feels because “they’re telling the truth about it.To them….. when they’re honest its okay to be “outspoken”. But when it comes to their issue, they’re scared it may offend someone. Wow!
The point I’m making is… learn how to talk to others so that they can “get it” and not be offended. Erase the word “outspoken” from your mind. It keeps you in a box to only be that way… when it comes to everybody else’s issue. Learn how to communicate, so that you can get your point across directly, clearly and in a non confrontational way..
Communication is Everything!
Be Blessed!
My Virgo Sister @demimckinney RHOA/BLOG
First question? Why are we so nice? What is it about us that makes us care free, friendly and sweet? And I ask this question because people can see it on our faces. Most of us don’t have attitudes… we have to be pushed to that limit. Now, don’t get me wrong or mixed up. I don’t read horoscopes daily * haven’t in years as a matter of fact* and I can’t remember the last time I did. But I’m writing this because I see a pattern of good women being thrown shade and all kinds of debree. That’s when I find out their sign and YUP…. they always come back as a VIRGO.
Sunday night I was watching RHOA…..but a few weeks ago they introduced Demetria McKinney. She played in Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. The gurl is beautiful, and has such a sweet and loving Spirit about her. So nice. I cant stand when women don’t want to get to know you… they start asking offensive questions, instead of listening to her share stories and speak. Its so sad because as Demetria answered their IGNORANT QUESTIONS she was trying desperately to read the faces of these cut throat goons. I felt so bad for her in the beginning, because she came in PEACE. She really * well maybe not frfr* thought that she could meet some ladies that were on the same level as herself and be cool. It killed me to see Demetria’s smiling face and nice attitude knowing they were talking about her behind her back and being FAKE….. while trying to please them with a trip and personal rooms. Many of them complained about how small it was. * blank stare* She was so sincere.
Then I thought about me. How sweet I can be and mean well with what ever I’m doing for someone, but always in the back of their mind…. its not enough. I cant stand ungratefulness. As they sat at the dinner table and chatted.. Phaedra and her had a conversation about throwing shade and asking….. were she ever on drugs… not to mention her relationship with Roger Bobb. I could see the heat on Demetria’s face, and I can see that she knew for the first time… how she’s gotta handle these goons.
A Virgo woman is nice, sweet, and sorta naive. Yeah…. we may act dumb… but we don’t miss a beat.. and if we do.. trust me we’ll go into our heads and PULL THAT FILE… And once we read it.. and remember how shady, slick, funky acting, you were…. its on and poppin. See, you can catch us off guard the first time, but once we realize what’s going on….we cut all games short. I was so heated.. I could see myself flipping the table over on those heffas. Just being disrespectful and mean. All in the name of “somebody has to leave next season and it aint me…cause I bring the drama”. That’s all… come on now.
So… I’m sitting there waiting for the Virgo to come out in Demetria.. and it peaked… but she didn’t get a chance to really get out everything she wanted to say because other women got into it. But as the weeks go on….. these goons are going to see the real her… and she’s going to have to give them that Virgo stare… eye to eye… and rip them apart LYRICALLY SPEAKING. That’s the only way those goons will stop coming for her.
See.. these group of reality stars don’t fight. You have to use your mouth and do plenty of homework on them. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… I can’t do all that talking…. Um um… nope can’t do it. I been done turned over ALL the tables, smack one so hard.. 5 will feel it. This is the very reason why I don’t have many female friends.. I HATE DRAMA.. I can’t stand women getting into it. If I can get alone with the 2 Sisters I grew up with in the same home for 22 years….. then I WISH THE HELL I WOULD… fall out with some “fighting for a season heffas”. Never that. Eva that!
Demetria boo, you aint gotta lay hands on these non fighting goons… but you gotta go there and let them know…. they got you messed up. And you know we Virgos.. we let stuff build up, THEN we nut up.SOMETIMES… not all the time. We do carry “on the spot checks”…..but don’t let it get to that point. I can already see your smile is going to change real quick as the episodes play….All I say is… stay classy… no fighting…. and check em on the spot. Don’t let a conversation go till the next meet up… tell them how you feel on site. Like my gurl Lisa Wu said….. “where you give it, is where you get it”.
Be Blessed!
Cree
Daddy’s Little Gurl/BLOG
Just a moment to share how important it is for a daughter to have both parents in her life. I grew up with both parents married before I was even born… and I’m the oldest. I never knew how important it really was.. until my daughter turned 12. Her dad was always in her life, and it became a joy to watch them talk, laugh and enjoy each other as she became an adult.
For the Christmas Holiday they went to Ohio, where he was born to enjoy family time. She stayed for 2 weeks, but he was back and forth. I love how she talks about him and the love they have for each other. They are so much alike its funny. He says she looks like me and built like me. I say she acts like him, talks like him, and loves to dress like him. Not to mention some days, she’s his twin!!! I can see him clear as day in her. He always speak well of me when they’re together sharing stories of our teenage years. That’s funny because I do the same thing when I’m with her. LOL
But there is one thing.. I tell her time and time again. Make sure that when you decide to get married and have a family that you chose a good man who loves you, and not for foolishness because YOUR DAD DOES NOT PLAY when it comes to you and his family. I tell her this all the time, and she knows this to be true. He may love his women.. but he’s not a fighter, he’s not into debates and arguments. He’s straight up and will not play about his 2 kids (son). He’ll want to meet him, grill him, look him in the eye and baaaaaaaaby have that talk with him. I told Nesha… make sure he come correct….because your daddy… IS NOT HAVING IT… So.. please don’t bring trouble to his door step by way of a nothing man who mean you no good.
*cousin in the middle*
That’s another main reason why I love their friendship/relationship because she knows he mean business. She knows this. Even though she’s a classy gurl…. these men can be tricky. It also makes me smile knowing that her dad will make sure she’s okay…this is one area of her life….. that is out of my jurisdiction. Her dad has her back!!! She betta chose wisely. Because her dad loves her, treats her like a Princess, and adores her dearly . * Click on the photos for a closer view*
Be Blessed!
Yes…/BLOG
Today, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …
nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be.
You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn’t give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty – to be alive means to not know.
Can’t sleep and scared/BLOG
Just before Christmas I was given the keys to my new apartment. I had seven days to move out and I love the fact this apartment is still in the same building. I had to work that night so I didn’t go up to the apartment to make sure that everything was good before the leasing department was gone for the Christmas and New Year break. It was no big deal when I finally went up and realize that there were a few things that needed to be done. I decided to go ahead and move my things in anyway, plus I hadn’t signed the new lease yet. I was good.
After moving in *except the couch I slept on* and realizing that once you move into an apartment sometimes it’s hard to get maintenance to fix the things you need. I told them that I had asthma and that I needed the heating and cooling system sealed up from the wall before I slept there. They told me that they were waiting on a part, and for me to keep the keys to my old apartment to sleep in but at the same time to keep the keys to both apartments .
So I get that approval from the property management and all was well. There’s this guy in his early 50s who liked me. But I like his friend/his Boss. Who is also the head maintenance guy for as long as I’ve been here. And even though we don’t have each other phone numbers, we flirt every now and then with each other. We have fun talking and laughing. He would always tell his friend that I’m off-limits to him…. and everyone on his staff. Even though we laughed about that I didn’t take it serious because we never talked outside of the job.
Last week The friend knocked on my door one morning so hard and so loud it woke me up. My first response was who is it? Very loud and very angry. When he told me his name I asked him what did he want? He said oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you were in here. I was told that you had moved out this past weekend. So I’m thinking to myself if you thought I moved out why are you knocking on my door for one, and for two who did you expect to answer if you thought I moved already? So I said…. “I already talked to the leasing department I’m not moving until some work is being completed in my apartment”. I can tell he wanted me to open up the door but I didn’t .He had never did that before and it raised my suspicions about him.
So the very next day I put out an old dresser, a table, and a table I use for my computer in the hallway to be taken out the next morning to the dumpster. While I slept someone was banging on my door. I jumped up off the couch walked up to the door asking who is it? Before I can put my hand on the doorknob he was coming into my apartment. I pushed the door back on him and closed it. I was horrified to think that I slept overnight with my door unlocked. After I got my thoughts together, I opened the door to see what he wanted. Again he said I thought you moved into your new apartment? I was still trying to figure out how could I be so careless and leave my door unlocked? I’m very careful. I locked everything, and I check it always. Even when I get in the car, I check the back seat and everything. I was out done by him walking into my house and it was early morning.
I remember him asking me was those my things out in the hallway and I said yes. I can tell he wanted to make small talk with me and to flirt as always. I brushed off the flirting, and he eventually left.
Later on that day I went downstairs to the convenient store. As I was about to get on the elevator to go back to my apartment, he caught the door at the last minute and got on with me. Once the elevator doors closed… all of a sudden he grabbed me… and pulled me near him and started feeling it all over my body mainly my behind. I was so shocked I pushed him off me and ask him why did he do that ? He said…… I’m so sorry every time I’m around you I can’t help myself you turn me on, you’re so sexy to me. I got off the elevator and walked quickly to my door…… and as I stuck the key in, he was standing in the elevator door saying look what you did to me? You made me hard. And I’m saying to myself you just grabbed me in the elevator felt me all over my body and blame me for what you’re feeling? I close the door and went to my apartment. I couldn’t Believe what just happened. I was really really shocked and didn’t really eat much for the next few days.
On Sunday my brother came over to help me move my TV because Comcast was coming out between two and four. When he was done….I walked my brother to the lobby and thanked him for coming. Before heading back to my apartment I stopped and talked to security. He told me that the guy that I liked *Boss* no longer worked for the company. That was a shock to me too because he was the boss and knew everything in the building.
So I went back to my apartment and I sat down and started thinking. Now I know the reason why his friend was coming on to me like that. He was in charge now and he’s free * in his mind* to say and do what ever he wanted to do to me. As long as his friend was there which was his boss he kept to himself. Then I start thinking my door probably WAS locked through the night, he PROBABLY OPENED MY DOOR THAT DAY. He is way out of character and his behavior is really bothering me.
So today Wednesday January 7…… I’m in my old apartment lying on the couch just thinking. I hear a loud “let me in” kinda knock on my door. I knew it was him. My heart start beating fast because this man wants me . He can’t stop knocking on my door. He wants a reaction out of me. He wants to see my face and my face expression. He wants to tell me how he wish I was his wife and that I’m going to marry him. By me not opening up the door he’s feeling some type of way. I started not to say anything but then if I didn’t say anything in his mind he’d figure he’ll use his key to come in and once he sees me he’ll say I THOUGHT YOU MOVED OUT ALREADY!!!! I heard his keys jingling. If I didn’t say who is it fast enough he was going to come in my apartment on me. And I know it now.
This is really really really really bothering me. I’m not sleeping at all during the night . I told my daughter about it and she is very angry she told me if anything else happens I better report him. Then I start thinking am I overreacting? But I ‘m really going to pay attention if I have to report him I will I just don’t need any drama. Some days I feel like I am so close to the edge. I really don’t need this right now. I just want to be left alone. Now that I’m thinking back on a lot of stuff that I ignored he really really wants me. And the more I resist him the more aggressive he is the next time. It’s after 3 o’clock in the morning and I have to be up at eight going to try to sleep.
Cree
Wednesday Nights/BLOG
Today is one of those days where my mind is all over the place.
First thing I want to talk about is…. WEDNESDAY nights! Tyler Perry starts off at 9 pm with Love Thy Neighbor on OWN, and a new show that I knew was going to bet against Tyler’s called… Its a Mann’s World…. starting David and Tamela Mann stars of many of Tyler’s stage plays and a few movies, and that’s also at 9 pm on BET. One thing is for sure… NO ONE WILL TOUCH those TUESDAY NIGHTS …. Tyler Perry pretty much have that 9 pm spot.. SEWED UP. But Imma say this… if the Manns do well with that Wednesday Night slot… next season… they coming for that TUESDAY NIGHT 9 pm. At least they’ll be able to say “they tried that”… if THATHN stay on top. BET can always put the Manns back on Wednesdays. I’ll tell you black folks love to compete against each other.
Okay.. I”m sleepy.. I’ll finish tomorrow. LOL
CREE loves ENTERTAINMENT!
Now if you know me, you know I LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. I’ve loved it since I was a young gurl. I’ve been to many NBA games.. so many concerts, and plays I can’t even keep up. Only 3 Celebrities I ever wanted to meet. Anita Baker,*did that* Gerald Levert *did that* and Tyler Perry ( still working on him lol)
Several years ago my Anita Baker friends and I met up here in Detroit as we do yearly for dinner before the concert. We’ve been meeting up for the last 7-8 years straight, and each year someone always bring a new fan to meet us. This one year, this guy name Mike was introduce to us over dinner * over 30 of us*. Mike was very down to earth, sweet as pie. Great guy, nice conversation.. we had a great time all of us during dinner, the concert and afterwards. The following week or day, we all connected with the new people on Facebook. I try to visit as many pages as I can a day, just to let my presence known. I have some really good friends on my page and value them all.
One day I inbox Mike and asked him did he know about the Anita Baker concert in Atlanta? He said that he didn’t know about it and wanted to go. We contacted the others and since I was already going down that weekend anyway…. he was excited and so was I. We talked about getting tickets and meeting up with everyone. We were about to make HUGE PLANS. Then we got word that the concert was cancelled. That’s when I started visiting his page more often and realized who he was, and what he did. never knew that he had it going on in Entertainment like this. I tell him all the time how proud I am of him and his work. When we met he was so down to earth and the nicest guy ever. Never knowing he was a stage manager. You’d be surprised who is invited to dinner. What a wonderful person. Click the photo to see them larger.
All of these photos belong to MIKE
Again… One of my Anita Baker friends….MICHAEL whom I’ve been knowing online for years and years. At least 9-10 years. As many comments and times I’ve visited his page.. I never ever ever ever ever ever ever knew and I’m laughing too…. that he was married to Kevin Blatch. Who is Kevin you ask? Well one day I was watching one of my FAVORITE MOVIES…. WHITE CHICS… and I made a comment on my page how I love the movie.. Michael commented *forgot what he said* and that’s when I found out that was his husband. I’ve seen so many photos of them…. but I never connected the face to my favorite movie. He played fashion icon Aubrey Allure. He says in the movie.. “Oh you are so barking up the wrong tree right now”. LOL Check him out as Judge Webber in Hell on Wheels. Michael is the taller guy. Great people, good movie!!!
ALL PHOTOS BELONG TO MICHAEL
Be Blessed!!!
Happy New Year!!!
Happy New Year!!!!
I’m so happy to start a new year I don’t know what to do. I love fresh starts and new days. This year I plan to stay glued to the HIP to God. I’m listening to every word he has to say. (more on this in another blog)
I did so well about staying off the phone last year and more FOCUSING on myself. That phone can wear you out, listening and connecting to the lives of others. Now don’t get me wrong, my INBOX on FACEBOOK, phone voice mail, instant messenger stay JAMMED PACKED… and I love the fact that people trust me to give them advice, wisdom, and prayers. I rather check those any-day and answer them, than to talk on the phone. LOL
Wow, things has really change from when I was a teen. I talked on the phone so much that I wore out phone cords on a regular. I remember having 3 phone lines in my house. One for my jailbird boyfriends to “burn out”, one for the bill collectors, and one for my friends. LOL I’m cracking up because no one could tell me that I would out grow talking on the phone. Never. I wouldn’t let the phone ring 1 time before I was picking it up. So funny.
This year I want to devote more time to people who are having issues with their daughters/sons. I’m very good with solving social issues among each other. There’s a lot of drama going on at my job, and you can feel the tension when you walk into the space. I hate it because I’m the “new gurl” and they want to come to MEEEE for talks about it when I’m just trying to learn how things are being ran around there. When I first got there, I had this look like I’m not in that mess, NOT going to be apart of it, and don’t want to be the medium in it….but then again.. its what I do. Dealing with a whole lot of women.. boy… I don’t know how I always end up being the Peacemaker. I guess I have that look like I’m not for any drama, so I can either be the person who help resolve it, or yall can keep it moving. Im going to close this blog entry.. because I have another one I want to write. So Happy New Year!!! May God Bless You All!
Cree
To My Daughter’s Stepmom,/BLOG
Here is a article that someone shared on Face Book. Had me in tears.. This letter is so beautiful. Father God…. your face is shown in this.
(IJReview) — A woman named Candice Curry wrote a letter to her ex-husband’s new wife Ashley Parish, and the reception of the letter has been off the charts.
Here is the full letter from Curry’s Women With Worth blog via our friends at Young Cons. Take a look for yourself.
To My Daughter’s Stepmom,
I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.
But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.
In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.
Then you arrived.
When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.
My plans were foiled.
I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!
I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.
You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.
I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her.
You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.
Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.
I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.
I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life. Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.
I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.
Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.
God bless you and I love you.
Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:
“Candice, I don’t know what to say. I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”
