#FIFTY SHADES/ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY/ PART 2 OF MY STORY/BLOG
(Continued) #FIFTYSHADES
I realized what he was doing…..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I know dayum well he aint the one doing the interviewing.” Now… I’m staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. I have no control, I felt weak, and once he saw this in my eyes he would take me mentally to a whole new height.
So… I sat there. I tried to convince myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times. He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me. Nope not today. Now…. I have this thing about me, if I catch the eye of someone attractive and for me…. its one of MY “ugly” days, then I will NEVER be intimidated no matter how good he looks or turn me on. Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. So, that kinda helps me.
But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS… skin beautiful, eyes *wish a brotha would look me into these marbles and not get caught up – lol*, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting… had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing before I left out of the house. As I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing. I know me…. I’ve been though this before. There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and become star gazed on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT A INTERVIEW. SHAT!
He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was so dayum nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.
He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there, that he had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FIONE he was as he looked at my resume. He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from that paper and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. As he asked me the first question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEEEEEE.. LOL Just like in the movie during the interview scene. All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so alive. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept looking at me. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it. LOL I was slipping away yall.
Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these inside pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the middle of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”. To myself… I’m like “OH HELL to the N word NAW… um um you wont be seeing this beautiful shapely booty, my thick thighs and my waist line that carries it all. NOT TODAY!!! LOL LOL LOL I told him that I was fine. He insist. But the way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS” and the interview just started. I didn’t want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW.
I stood up which the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I stood up and began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!! His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED LOL LOL I had never in my life FELT SOMETHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt like my breast, vagina, behind everything was EXPOSED! Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. Shat…. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL
Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he was “stealing” from me. LOL When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off!!! I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was so weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and he was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But dang….. not at a INTERVIEW!
I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY.. SMILES.. LAUGHS… COMMUNICATION…SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE that in myself.
The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in there like I WAS PART OWNER.. LOL LOL * Sho the FORK did*… Yalp had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT? LOL LOL Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “you don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YESSSS ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said yessss… I’m good!!!! 🙂 I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too”? NOT GONE HAPPEN BOO. LOL LOL LOL I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES. LOL He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table, the couch I was on and the chair he sat in. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me. They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down and in the chair that *handsome* sat in last time. We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool.
Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FIONE self on the couch between me and the interviewer… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! I cant take it. He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea I “left the building”. LOL I was at Mr. “House”. LOL I couldn’t stop looking over at him. I was a mess. He got me. He got me good. After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over and my nipples got hard. My vagina walls started doing the Harlem shake, flips, cart wheels… and whatever thoughts came to mind….. my body REACTED. AT one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts. What ever conversation I tried to muster up.. I couldn’t because the kids in my head…. scribble scrabble on my thoughts. HE got me.. h Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong setting.
Please go see Fifty Shades of Grey… if you love my story… you’ll LOVE that movie… So sexy and inviting. 🙂 Listen to another of my FAVORITE SONGS from the SOUNDTRACK… Oh.. I love this song.
Be Blessed!
#FIFTYSHADES/ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY/BLOG
FINALLY a movie that explores ME.
The kind of movie that my MIND and BODY craves. I’m a mind exploring -sexual person this is the perfect movie for my appetite. Chemistry, Romance, Body Language, Mind Games, Way with words. Take MEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🙂 lol lol
When the books first came out, I didn’t read it at all. Wasn’t interested, too many people talking about it, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didnt read what the books were about, all I knew that it was a lot of sex… that was it. Never thought about it again…
Went to the movies sometimes last year, saw the previews on the screen and thought to myself…. Ummmm…. “I gotta see that movie.” My first concerns were that I wasn’t attracted to Christian… and didn’t think Ana was all that either. Because in MY mind, in order for a movie to be good, the leads have to have great Chemistry to attract my eye right away. Put it this way…. I had never seen either of the actors before, and couldn’t attract myself to their atmosphere. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Never to Judge a book by its cover EVER again. I knew the movie was coming out Valentines Day…. I decided that I would go.
FIRST encounters… CHEMISTRY, ELEVATORS, DIRECT EYE CONTACT, HALF SMILES *while shaking the head in agreement*, INTENSE LISTENING *hard stares*, SEXUAL INTIMIDATION, SEXUALLY PARALYZED, BODY LANGUAGE NEAR OR FAR…., DIRECT WORDS * usually VERY short sentences*, MYSTERIOUS *the look in his eyes is a BRICK WALL, INVITING, THE SMELL OF HIS COLOGNE, ALLOWING THE WOMAN TO WALK AHEAD OF HIM *taking full control*, Making himself a THIRD PARTY* usually someone else comes in and start talking* while he sits back, watches and listens to your EVERY WORD. All of these things are important to me when watching a ROMANTIC movie, and also MY REAL LIFE experiences. What ever I THINK…. MY BODY RESPONDS.
I know there are people who may read this who have not seen the movie yet, so I won’t spoil it for them. But the movie opens up to my gurl… Annie Lennox ….. I Put A Spell On You. I love this song, because I first heard it years ago by Screamin Jay Hawkins * youtube him*. The SOUNDTRACK…. is one I cannot explain. I have NEVER heard a SOUNDTRACK that captures every scene to the point. I am in love with it!!! Please BLESS YOURSELF and purchase it. I have to share a few of the scenes in the movie that “did it for me”. I LOVE how in control he was, so disciplined. Controlling a little… but not over aggressive to the point that he would IRRITATE ME. Just enough to keep my interest to figure out what is it about him …………..mentally. The DIRECT *sureness* of what he wanted when he looked into her eyes…. I fell in love. The swag in his body language… spoke volumes. The question I asked myself as I was watching the movie is….. out of all the women that worked for him, that he met from interviews, in passing, what was it about her, that he wanted so badly? Men with POWER AND MONEY…. is always in search of “that gurl”. She has to be special, she has to know who she is, and what she wants in order to attract him. In the beginning of the movie, she was so shy and so nervous as she interviewed him, he picked up on it and used it to his advantage. He controlled the whole atmosphere with his DIRECT STARES….. CHAIR TO CHAIR bouncing, and 10-12 word REPLIES. TURNED ME ON IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES … LOL LOL Without telling the MOVIE…..it totally reminded me of one of MY EXPERIENCES.
A few months ago, I had went on several interviews searching for the right one for me. I was called to a 10:00 am appointment and when I walked into the lobby I was feeling GREAT and CONFIDENT. I checked in, then sat on the couch and waited for the person to “come out” to get me. As I soaked up the lovely atmosphere, and beautiful interior decorations, I noticed a glance at me. I didn’t pay it any attention because I was busy looking around the place, but when he looked over at me for the 2nd and 3rd time…. I paid attention. I said to myself…… “is this man looking at me?” As I begin to focus on him.. I noticed that he was FIONE AS HELL. TALL*waves hand in the air*… handsome, sexy, thick, PRETTY WHITE TEETH, SUITED UP, beautiful in the face, eyes that says” come get it”, sexy lips, goatee, and very humble. I sat there trying to ignore him, because I know how my body respond to what I’m thinking and seeing. A INTERVIEW was the WRONG place for this. I kept trying to ignore his glances, until I realized what he was doing.
PART 2 COMING UP….TONIGHT * smiles*
I’ll leave you with this song… one of MY FAVORITES from the Soundtrack of Fifty Shades of Grey… * please listen to it*
#FIFTYSHADES
#FIFTYSHADES REVIEW.. COMING TOMORROW… OHMYGOODNESS!!! 🙂
Feeding the Homeless YESTERDAY/BLOG
Hey Family!!!
Today for dinner, I’m making Collard Greens, corn on the cob, corn bread and some fried chicken. Not to forget my Pep boy * Pepsi*. Been working and I got tired of eating on the go, its time for some real food. So its going down today. In other news…. I’m so tired of all the rumors on Bobbi Brown. Send up prayers, and just be quiet.. because the people who are in the circle of hers aren’t saying ONE WORD. Just pray!
Yesterday me and my Princess went to the Shelter to serve food to the Homeless. We served from 4-6 we had a good time, it was well organized, and the men were very friendly. The people there said they were happy to see women serving them, because the men are more settled down. We were happy. Even talked to the man in charge that said when ever we want we can cook food for them and bring it down, and serve it. Yesterday they had chilli and biscuits. I didn’t like the fact that the biscuits were kinda hard. I hate that homeless people will eat what they can. Its just not fair sometimes to see them eating whatever they can get their hands on. I’m going to gather up my FB family and friends and we’re going to come up with a plan and a menu to COOK for them. We’re going to take it to the shelter for dinner and serve. This was also the shelter KEM the singer was in before he got clean. It was truly a pleasure to volunteer. Cant wait till next time. I’m taking my FB friends with me.
THIS IS THE TIME I WISH I HAD MY VAN 😦
My New Nephew
Meet my new Nephew!!!
My brother had his first baby on Jan 25, and I’m so happy for him. I picked them up from the hospital on Tuesday, and I was so happy to finally meet him. They live directly around the corner from me, so I will be seeing him again soon. I looooove this little boy. I had a instant connected to him as soon as I saw a photo of him. I wanted to kiss him, but you cant be kissing on peoples baby when their brand new. Goodness, I think about this boy everyday. LOL LOL My one and only brother is 41. He loves this little boy so much. I love his gurlfriend she is sooooo prefect for him too. Okay.. Im rambling, but look at my baby.. I call him baby bobby!!!
* my screen saver* lol
PEACE in the WORKPLACE/BLOG
Hey Family!!! Whats going on? I’ve been working a lot lately so I haven’t been on as much…but I have got to share this.
When your at work.. do everything in your POWER to mind your own business. There are so many people who have no PEACE… and will do everything in their power to make sure you don’t either. Its unreal how much DRAMA women start in the work place. Me…. I watch that mess from the side lines. Then guess what? They see me with all this PEACE on my face, and they want to come to me for advice and to listen. Yall know me…. Imma tell you the truth., CAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE -EVER, EVER, EVER when it comes down to it. I promise about 5 people have sat with me for my breaks to tell me whats going on with them. Its something about me that draws people to me. I don’t even know these people, but they see something in me. Most times, I’m just listening…. you know people are going to do what they want to do anyway. But why me all the time? I want to sit on my break and do me, go through my phone, read messages and just think for a few minutes. ALONE!!!
I hate that its so much drama at the job that you can cut it with a knife. I mind my own business *when they let me* and punch out when its time to go. PRAISE GOD THANK YOU JESUS …BECAUSE WHEN I TURN THE KEY TO MY APARTMENT.. ITS SO LOVING AND SO PEACEFUL…. I CREATED MY OWN ATMOSPHERE!!!
My words for today are….. FIND YOU SOME PEACE AND KEEP IT~ BE BLESSED
A FACEBOOK CRY FOR HELP/BLOG
Woman Found Stabbed To Death After Posting Facebook Warning, Ex-Boyfriend Arrested
Less than one week after Michelle Rowling, 25, of East Saint Louis, posted a cryptic Facebook status alluding to her death, she was found fatally stabbed in her apartment and her newly paroled ex-boyfriend, Montrell Cooper, 25, has been arrested in connection with the crime, reports The Belleville News Democrat.
“So, if anything happens to me tonight just let my kids know I loved them dearly and tell my momma I love her,” Rowling posted on Nov. 25 at 9:49 p.m.
On Dec. 1, East Saint Louis police responded to a disturbance call at approximately 9:00 p.m. and discovered the young mother of two stabbed several times on the floor of her apartment, reports KSDK.com.
She was rushed to a local hospital where she was pronounced dead on arrival.
In response to concerned friends commenting on her Facebook status, Rowling would share no details other than she had received horrible news. That news was that Cooper had been released from jail where he had been serving time since assaulting Rowling in August, said St. Clair County State’s AttorneyBrendan Kelly.
“From what I understand from others in jail with him that was his word, he was going to kill her,” said Rowling’s grandmother Diane Simmons.
The August incident was not Cooper’s first time assaulting Rowling.
In 2012, he served a year in jail for stabbing her in the neck; upon his release, he assaulted her again.
Rowling testified on Cooper’s behalf in the 2012 incident, so he received probation. In a court appearance on Monday, Cooper was released again after Rowling allegedly refused to testify against him.
“We often move forward with charges even when victims are not cooperative, hoping that if they see us standing up for them, they will stand up for themselves,” said Kelly, who had pushed for prison time in both incidents. ”The victim in this case actually testified in favor of the defendant.”
Cooper, who had been on the run in a Black SUV that was later found abandoned, turned himself in to East Saint Louis police Tuesday night and is being held on $200,000 bond.
He has not been charged and is being held on a probation violation.
“We want to question him about the stabbing death of Michelle Rowling,” East St. Louis Police ChiefMichael Floore said.
A candlelight vigil was held on Sunday night for Rowling.
“I don’t know which way to turn,” said her mother Cathy McGloson.
Rowling’s cousin, Danielle Lane, said that Cooper was always “quiet” around their family. When she spoke to Rowling on Thanksgiving Day she said that she was trying to leave him for good.
“She was happy, but she looked worried,” Lane said. “She told me about the domestic abuse with him. She wanted to be with him, but they weren’t getting along, so she was trying to leave him,” Lane said.
“I didn’t see her for about three weeks. When I saw her, I told her she needed to get out of that relationship because that wasn’t love. I tried to get her to meet up with me and do some things, but she wouldn’t,” Lane said.
“We need to put a stop to women being abused. No matter what your family or friends say or think, speak out. There is always help out there,” Lane said.
Rowling and Cooper have a 5-year-old daughter together, reports CBS News.
According to a recent report by the The Violence Policy Center (VPC) in Washington, D.C. Black women are about three times more likely to die at the hands of a current or ex-boyfriend than members of other races.
- In 2011, 492 black females were murdered by males at a rate of 2.61 per 100,000, compared to a rate of 0.99 per 100,000 for white females.
- Where the relationship could be determined, 94 percent of black females killed by males knew their killers. Nearly 15 times as many black females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers.
- Of the black victims who knew their offenders, 52 percent were wives, common-law wives, ex-wives, or girlfriends of the offenders. Ninety-three percent of the homicides were intra-racial.
Read full report here.
See Rowling’s Facebook status below:
Inside the mind of cree 