God Told Me That I Was Getting In The Way With My Foolishness- PT 2/BLOG

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The following year, my daughter entered High School. She had a good 4 years, graduated, then decided that she would take a year off from school. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I wanted her to go straight to college because I know sometimes when kids take a year off, its hard to get back into the grove. But my baby was determined to go to college. She told me that she was tired, and that she really needed that time off.  I respect that, she broke it down and I got it. I didn’t want her to start a job either, because I KNEW that if she started working, it was a chance that she would get use to the money and never start college. That was happening to so many kids at the time. I made sure she didn’t need for anything.

Often times Nesha  and I would talk about that night God told me that I was getting in the way with my foolishness of who she was going to be. I was very conscience of everything I did, said, and exposed her to.  As I’m watching her grow up, I’m watching GOD work in her life. I’m watching every step of the way with excitement in my heart… asking just what is HE using my baby for? We both wanted to see where God was leading her, and sometimes its not what WE  have in PLAN.

On her way to an Event for her job

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She traveled in the summer with her dad, and when Fall came around she was ready for College. She wanted to become a Lawyer, so she went to school, did 4 years, and received her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. In her last year she went to work for the 36 District Courts here in Detroit where she worked in Forfeiture. She wanted to learn as much as she  could, so she sat with Judges, Criminal Prosecutors, and Defense Lawyers.  She also sat in the court room for every hearing of our former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.  It was a joy to see her on TV everyday.  Knowing in my heart how she felt about being in the presence of a court room and getting a feel of what she wanted to do. She was so well liked and known around the building for her ambition to learn. Several Judges wanted her to leave her department to work for them. She did. But as time passed, she started seeing in the court room how things were done and had a burning desire to help Women, Seniors and Children. She felt as if her need was elsewhere at that time, other than in the court room.

During that time, she helped me to put together The Feeding The Homeless Projects, and also my Youth Group Raisingurls To Women in my home. She enjoyed it and was a big help, more than I could ever explain.

She would always say Momma, I’ll go back to school later to become a Lawyer, but  right now I want to work with Youth and Family Services. I said baby…. this is YOUR LIFE…. you do what you are LEAD to do. She said I just dont want you to be disappointed. I told her NEVER THAT…. I’m just watching God do his work in you, I have raised you, you’re an adult now, you have your own relationship with God, you do what you want to do in life. With my Blessings (( in her heart)) she started working for a Non-Profit Organization. And when I tell you this gurl is doing her thing. I don’t have enough time to share it all. She went right in (( first job)) in 2012 worked her behind off, that THE CEO made her DIRECTOR OF FAMILY GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT !  Yess!!!!  She’s the Supervisor of 6 Clinicians . And I’m looking at God like…… Are you serious? You’re having me to witness all of this? And I’m so happy that he allowed me to share with her that night at 12 years old, that it was all about her. My foolishness had to end, so that I could focus on her, and raise her up, so that she could be used by him. What JOY I FEEL AS I WRITE THIS. THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU LORD.

Photo of her at 4 years old

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I don’t get a chance to see her work in person, and I have to make her tell me stories about what she does. She believes in helping others and not so much talking about it. But for me, its about seeing what God was talking about. Thanking him for getting me together so that I could raise her properly. So she shares some. But last week, I got to see for myself. We had planned to do a little shopping and get something to eat after she was done at work. She told me to pick her up at 5:00 but someone called and needed food and personal items because she didn’t have anything to feed her son. I told her that I would be there EARLY anyway (( I wanted to see the person)), the young lady jumped out of the passenger side of the truck and ran in the building. My daughter hand her this huge box full of food and items. It made me cry. This lady hugged my daughter so tight and kept Thanking her. I sat in the car saying to myself God, this is what you were telling me? Seeing my daughter help someone who had NO FOOD FOR HER SON… just did something to me. I thought my daughter would be putting criminals in jail, she’s putting food on the table for those we are in need. It made me cry, seeing this in person. She was just 12 years old, here she is 30 and I’m just in awe of God.

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This week she started school again!!!! She wants to go higher in her field. She wants to be a Therapist, its funny because they say Criminal Justice cross paths with it, so now to her it make sense why she switched off from wanting to be a Lawyer. Her boss told her, go to school….. bring me the bill! Wow amazing!  

When I tell you my daughter takes care of me…… it brings tears to my eyes. The gifts, the thoughts, the appreciation is over whelming sometimes. Because all I wanted was for her do what SHE wanted to do, and for me to see WHAT IS ALL THIS GOD WAS TALKING ABOUT. I SEE IT FOR MYSELF… Never in a million years when I did my Feeding The Homeless Projects  that she was watching in the background. Never knew that what she was helping me with… SHE RUNS AND DIRECTS. Below is her being honored here in Detroit by city officials, and other members and staff personal all over the city. It blew my mind to hear all of these kind words, and to REMEMBER WHAT GOD REVEALED TO ME THAT NIGHT!  And there is so much to come, and if The Lord say the same.. He’ll let me be here to SEE IT! AMEN!

ALSO, A Happy Happy Birthday to HER today (( 31)) September 3.. and I turned 50 TODAY AS WELL!

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God Told Me That I was Getting In The Way With My Foolishness PT 1/BLOG

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I was in my early 30’s when I was temporary SHUT DOWN ..by God.

Growing up we would have our water, lights and gas shut off and then turned back on, and I hated that. I said that when I “got grown” I’m going to make sure that I pay my bills off once it comes in the mail. And I made good on that promise. All my adult life, I hated to “pay” on a bill because it would catch up with the next month, and seem like it would be double. All my friends use to ask me why not just pay on it, but they didn’t know  the promise I made to myself and why once I was grown. Still till this day, I do NOT pay on my bill, I pay it off COMPLETELY.

One day, my car went down, I had to get a ride to work with my co-workers. Then right after that, we all lost our jobs due to selling of the plant we worked. So, that meant if I didn’t find work soon, my  home services would be cut off. Well, even though my cable was still on, my lights and gas went off because they were on the same electric company. Oh, I was DEVASTATED! I had NEVER in my adult life experienced all of my services being disconnected at the same time. It was cold outside and I couldn’t let my daughter stay in the house with me, so I took her to my parents house and let her stay over there until I heard from God.

I knew he wanted my attention. I have a relationship with him and I KNOW when he needs to speak to me. He knew how I paid my bills, he knew that if everything was turned off, that he would get my attention. He knew how to shut me down, and I KNEW he wanted to speak to me. I lost my job, so I got up in the daytime when it was warm to call around for job openings, and at night I would lay down to think and try to hear from him. My daughter missed her daily routine of how we did things at home and even though she enjoyed being with my parents, she started doing bad in school. I didn’t know it at the time, but I knew her behavior had changed and I didn’t like it one bit.

Nights turned into weeks, and still no word from God. I remember asking people who I knew could help me get my services turned back on, and they turned me down. I was SO MAD AT THEM. I remember writing it all down, so that I would never forget it. Weeks turned into a month and even though it was warming up outside, It was still cold at night, and I had not heard from God.  I wanted to hear from him to see what this was all about so that I could get back to my normal life. What was my normal life? Well, let me share.

There was a time  when it was all about me and my daughter, we would go to the movies weekly, go shopping, out to dinner all the time. Her dad took her to Disney World- Universal Studios- Island of Adventure, and I took her twice… yes a total of 3 times as a child. Her cousins would come over and spend the night, and she would go over to their house. By the time she was 13 years old, she had been to New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cincinnati, Florida…  several times with her dad. She loved to travel.

We slowed down going to the movies,  Church every Sunday,  dinner,  and doing things we were use to doing together. It was only her and I.  I was preoccupied doing other things. I started drinking all the time with my friends, having male friends come over at night when she was sleep, talking on the phone all day.  I was going out every single weekend, making sure I was looking good, going shopping EVERY FRIDAY I got paid…. I was something else. So, when my services were shut off, and I KNEW that paying bills was important to me, this was something bigger than paying bills. This is how God got my attention… I knew it….and I was listening.

Days and weeks went by, turned into a month and I was praying, crying, wondering, scared, thinking… I wanted to know what this was about. Why hasn’t God spoken to me yet? One night I went to my parents house to see my daughter and my dad had been playing the Michigan State Lottery since I was born. Every night when it came on at 7:32 pm… he wanted the house QUIET! NO TALKING. He wanted to see what numbers fell, read what he played, then we could talk. LOL Earlier in the day before I had even got there, I had been seeing this one number straight, like ALL DAY. Everywhere I went I saw this number. It was unreal to me. Well, that night in the lottery it came JUST AS I SAW IT. I got up from the family in TOTAL SHOCK and went into the kitchen alone to ask God why did that number come in the lottery? I said you know I don’t play the lottery, so why did it come? He said to me… I know you don’t play, that was to show you that I haven’t forgotten about you and I’m ready to speak.

I went home alone that night to a cold house, and even though he didn’t speak that night, he spoke the next day.

He said. ” La’Crease, the person that Nesha is going to be.. YOU ARE GETTING IN THE WAY WITH YOUR FOOLISHNESS”. I remember so clearly saying….  Who me? What I do?THIS IS ABOUT NESHA?. NESHA? NESHA?… my daughter? He said YESSS, you’re sleeping with men at night, talking on the phone all day and night, you don’t do anything with her anymore, you have totally neglected her, her grades have suffered. You spend all your time with these men and your friends. He said.. You are getting in the way of who she is going to be with YOUR FOOLISHNESS!!! I felt so bad.  I was so SHOCKED. People ask me how do you know that WAS GOD? I said would I TELL MYSELF THESE THINGS? WILL I SIT THERE AND HEAR MYSELF TELLING MYSELF THIS STUFF? WHO DOES THAT? NOBODY!!! This was not ME saying all this shocking stuff to myself. WHO OVER LOADS THEIR THOUGHTS WITH THEIR OWN SINS? These things were  furthest from my mind.

I started thinking about how true every word was. All I could say is God.. I hear you, I’m about to  change my life!!! He meant it, and it wasn’t talking about next week either… he meant NOW! I was so out done. I was done. I thought all that time he wanted to speak to me about ME, and blessings coming, and new place to live, new car, bills paid, husband.. all this other stuff. LOL LOL  LOL its so funny.. so so sooooo funny NOW.. What a naive person I was. One thang he made clear…… YOU BETTA CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND NOW!

I heard him LOUD AND CLEAR… he didn’t have to repeat himself. I got up that next day, made some phone calls and all my service was turned on in a few days. Help came from everywhere. I went and got my baby from my parents, that’s when I found out that she got F’s on her report card. I was mad a little, because my dad and daughter hid it from me. I promised myself that I would get all her grades up by next report card to A’s and B’s and that’s what I did. My car got fixed, and I got a job. I stopped talking on the phone all together. I HATE talking on the phone, if you know me, you know I hate it to this day! I’ll text, but I dont like talking on the phone and people respect that.

I cut off all my male friends sexually.. 18 years STRONG TODAY… yeaaa I know. But it’s worth it. I started spending all my time with my daughter and I was soo Thankful that God stopped Me from Me. I couldn’t wait to tell her what God had told me, she was waiting to hear it too. When I told her , she was just as shocked as I was. She was only 13 years old when this happened. All she kept saying is momma what am I going to be? I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t know the answer. All I knew was that she wanted to be a Lawyer. I knew that I had a special child. I knew that I had to stop all my foolishness. I knew that God had a plan for her life and I had to STEP ASIDE. I knew that God was serious and that he planned on using her, we just didn’t know how. I straighten all the way up, and its so funny now, she always tease me and say .. “Didn’t God whoop you over me?” LOL LOL WE LAUGH.. WE LAUGH.. WE LAUGH!!!!

Tomorrow, I will share where SHE is 18 years later.… GOD IS TRULY FAITHFUL!

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Learning your kids PERSONALITY!/BLOG

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When my daughter was a young gurl, I use to always scream like most parents when they lose it. But after a short while, I realize that she was JUST LIKE ME, she didn’t require screaming. She required that “come here, let me look you in the eye” kinda speech. Screaming made me nervous as it does most kids. It made me cry, and to this day…. I will NEVER tolerate A N Y  O N E screaming at me, if you can’t talk to me in a pleasant tone of voice, then WE’RE DONE!!!. I don’t play that, at all.. PERIOD!

I found out with kids, you HAVE to learn their personality. That’s part of being a parent. Every child is different, and based off how they take things, and how they receive, you have to parent based upon that. When my daughter got home from school. She would speak and go straight to her room. But me as a parent made sure, I called her down to my face and I asked her how was your day? She’s just like me, so you’ll only get what you ask for, you have to ask her specifics… WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? LOL If I’m talking to her over the phone, that’s even worst, Again, its something I learned about her. So, I found out that if I want to know about the mercury scare she had in high school (( real life)). I have to ask her, what floor was it on? Where we’re you? Did you exit out of the front door, side or back door? Was anybody hurt? We’re you scared? What was your thoughts? Do you feel staff handled it properly? This series of questions gets her talking, and she’ll feel compel to share more of what happened once she see’s how it interest me. I had to learn that about her. The point I’m making in all of this is, you have to ask your kids questions. If you don’t they will go to their rooms, hop on their phones and BLOCK YOU OUT OF THEIR WORLD. As they get older, you’ll KNOW NOTHING! Start early, so they know that you’re that kinda parent that ask questions.

Kids already look at us as “OLD” so in order to keep up with them, we have to go to “their world”, we have to learn a few songs of their generations, we have go to see “their” movies, we have to meet their friends, and build our own relationship with them. We have to take them on family trips… out of town. They will remember this when they’re older. Kids take money and time. You want to know you did your best, so that when they’re grown, you won’t have to worry about them taking care of themselves.

Be Blessed!

laporsharenae A WORD TO WOMEN/BLOG

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Something told you to sexually assault me, try to take my life as if you were the one who gave it to me, cheat on me with ANYTHING that walked and tell me that's what love was all about, plead guilty to domestic violence, watch me via you and your next victim's TV rise above your failed attempts to devour and depreciate my mind and spirit, and  then try to come back in Gods name and do it all over again. You have no place in my life. Your tongue is that of a snake, your eyes are dark and manipulative, and your voice reaks of evil. I will raise my daughter to despise false representations of a God-fearing man such as you. You can try your tired, manipulative tricks, but mind you, I'm not alone as I was before. I have the support of my family, fans, and the motivation of my daughter this time.  Your chapter of MY book is closed and will NEVER be opened again for anything other than you answering to God on judgment day for your sinister doings against me and MY daughter.To my former abuser and EX husband, Michael Devin Jennings, your time of mentally, physically and emotionally torturing me has long passed. I have earned the title "SURVIVOR" and will never recede to being a VICTIM EVER AGAIN. I will live the rest of my life surrounded by real love. Enjoy watching me succeed and rid myself of any memory I've ever acquired of you. Enjoy watching me LIVE despite you wanting me DEAD. May God Be with you and have mercy on your soul. ~La'Porsha Renae ~ aka SURVIVOR
#DONTEVERTRYITAGAIN #FINALWARNING
#NotThisTime #LAPORSHAJENNINGSisNOmore #NeverGoingBack #AbusersNeverChange

To any woman in an abusive situation, I plead with you to #GETOUT before it's too late. You can do it!! I stand by you!! I believe in you!! Even if you have children, #GETOUT!! #GETHELP #TELLSOMEONE Don't make them victims too!! To any men or children in those situations, #GETOUT!! NO ONE has the right to abuse you!! #NoYourWorth #YourLifeHasPurpose 
#GOODWOMAN #TakingOutTheTrash
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  • laporsharenaeSomething told you to sexually assault me, try to take my life as if you were the one who gave it to me, cheat on me with ANYTHING that walked and tell me that’s what love was all about, plead guilty to domestic violence, watch me via you and your next victim’s TV rise above your failed attempts to devour and depreciate my mind and spirit, and then try to come back in Gods name and do it all over again. You have no place in my life. Your tongue is that of a snake, your eyes are dark and manipulative, and your voice reaks of evil. I will raise my daughter to despise false representations of a God-fearing man such as you. You can try your tired, manipulative tricks, but mind you, I’m not alone as I was before. I have the support of my family, fans, and the motivation of my daughter this time. Your chapter of MY book is closed and will NEVER be opened again for anything other than you answering to God on judgment day for your sinister doings against me and MY daughter.To my former abuser and EX husband, Michael Devin Jennings, your time of mentally, physically and emotionally torturing me has long passed. I have earned the title “SURVIVOR” and will never recede to being a VICTIM EVER AGAIN. I will live the rest of my life surrounded by real love. Enjoy watching me succeed and rid myself of any memory I’ve ever acquired of you. Enjoy watching me LIVE despite you wanting me DEAD. May God Be with you and have mercy on your soul. ~La’Porsha Renae ~ aka SURVIVOR
    #DONTEVERTRYITAGAIN #FINALWARNING
    #NotThisTime#LAPORSHAJENNINGSisNOmore#NeverGoingBack #AbusersNeverChange

    To any woman in an abusive situation, I plead with you to #GETOUT before it’s too late. You can do it!! I stand by you!! I believe in you!! Even if you have children,#GETOUT!! #GETHELP #TELLSOMEONEDon’t make them victims too!! To any men or children in those situations, #GETOUT!! NO ONE has the right to abuse you!!#NoYourWorth #YourLifeHasPurpose
    #GOODWOMAN #TakingOutTheTrash

AMEN!!! AMEN!!

@BEYONCE /BLOG

The anti-Beyhive is planning a rally on Feb. 16 after Beyoncé's Super Bowl 50 performance, which they say had ties to the Black Panthers and Black Lives Matter.

When I tell you I LOVE this lil gurl (( old enough to be her mom))… I LOVE HER! I ask myself, La’Crease what is it that you LOVE about her? Let me tell you.

The gurl is BAD! She’s the BEST ENTERTAINER IN THE WORLD! Don’t get mad at her, she’s all she asked God for. God said yes and BLESSED HER TO DO WHAT SHE DO BEST. How can one be mad about that?

She rarely does interviews and rarely go deep on FB and Twitter. She barely talks, what are people mad about? She doesn’t have your phone number and played on your phone. She didn’t wear your shoes and messed them up. She didn’t use your debit card without permission. But see what people don’t know about a VIRGO is.. we are very silly.. mines 9/3, funny and loving people. People will be shocked to know that she’s very down to earth, and will say stuff that will have you saying ” Did Beyonce just say that?” She has so much influence on people that she has to be very careful what she say in public. Even though NO MATTER what she says, she will always be criticized about it. Don’t sweat it B,  still get your 6-8 ((hours of sleep)).

When she was pregnant, some people didn’t even believe it. Are you SERIOUS in this world? Are you serious? Goes to show you how BIG she really is. Anytime you believe a person here on EARTH didn’t have a child, I wouldn’t trust them to place a pizza order for me ONLINE WITH PHOTOS. Um cuse me… watch out ((( get out of my way))).

I went to see her in concert and I was amazed at her energy, her performance, her stage presence, her style, her SPIRIT. That was the moment I said… Beyonce is my daughter. I just LOVE HER! I have one, a 29 year old Virgo 9/3, who loves her sister ( lol) .

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I guess people feel that she should do more interviews, but no matter what she does, it will never be enough for folks. Virgos are very private people. I get her, I understand her. When it comes to her, I’m very territorial. People are BULLIES and they will find anyway to be mad at her ESPECIALLY  since they never had a face to face, eye contact conversation with her.  She’s a human being just like the rest of us. I love her last CD because she gave us more of who she is. I wish people would allow her to be A PERSON.

Who can drop an album over night, while you sleep? LOL Beyonce. She Gotta TEAM SO OUTCOLD AND LOW KEY….don’t make sense! That’s a BAD CHICK RIGHT THERE!! RESPECT IT… or I’m gon ask that you clear the room! Because no matter if you like her or not… BEYONCE’S HERE TO STAY! When she hits the stage, she’s at her best. She performs for the THRILL, you can tell, look in her eyes. She loves her husband, and the beautiful daughter God gave them.

For all the people who don’t like her…. Go get you some LOVE AND PERSONAL time with God.. so you can experience your own BLESSING TOO.

BEYONCE…..SEE YOU AT FORD FIELD MAY 29 ! I be DAYUM IF FORD FIELD IS DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME AND I NOT BE THERE! LOL (( BLUE BUILDING))

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I AM La’Crease.. and I don’t have to do anything else!

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Need to VENT!/BLOG

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Sorry, but I need to VENT!! A little while ago, I went to Walmart (I know….I know…)to get some stuff . I noticed this lady was staring at me on the same aisle I was on. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes again…STARING! So now I’m like, WTH, but finish up my shopping and head to the check out line. Of course this same lady was ahead of me…starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone so I don’t have to look at her. Finally she says “I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my daughter who just passed away.” I felt really bad after that and gave her my condolences. She says “thank you…but I have a favor to ask. I understand if you don’t want to. Can you give me a hug and say ‘bye momma’ to me?” Inside I was like WHAT?!?!, but, me being the softie that I am, I went ahead and did it. She smiles, thanks me, and leaves. The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to $100.87. I knew something wasn’t right, because it should have been like $40.00 or so. The girl tells me that my total was included with my mom’s. I’m like, “What?!!!” she said, “Your mom said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I said, “That aint my momma!!” She said, “Well I saw you hug her and heard you call her momma?!” I flew out of the store looking for this woman, ready to beat her behind, and i see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, but I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg…JUST LIKE I’M PULLING YOURS!!!HAHAHA
If I got you good, feel free to copy and paste ..
I had to LOL!

My story of FORGIVENESS-RAPE 3/BLOG

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One day he came over and couldn’t find me, so he went a few doors down to my friends house (((his now sister -n- law))) and found me there. He was mad at me for not wanting to have anything to do with him. No matter how much he apologized to me, I didn’t want to hear it. He was really irritated with me, and decided that he was going to rape me again while my friend outside and her mother not home. How disrespectful is that?

He threw me down on the couch and tried his best to get my pants down, this time it was not going to happen. We then got into a fight. He pushed me and I pushed him back. My Sisters and friend heard it and went and told my dad, by this time I was able to get out of the house and go home. My dad was FURIOUS!!  He told my ex boyfriend to never come over here again. AND HE DIDN’T. My dad said to me…. and I’ll NEVER EVER FORGET……. WE’RE moving, and when it happen.. HE BETTER NOT HAVE MY NEW ADDRESS!!!!! My daddy meant that.

Just before we moved , I met a new guy. He was everything all in one. Tall, handsome, sweet as pie, nice, and crazy about me. We hit it off  well. I knew it was too early to start a new relationship, but I had to get over the last one, and this new guy helped me. I went to school everyday praying that I wasn’t pregnant by my ex boyfriend. How does a woman have a baby by the man who raped her? That means I would have to love the baby no matter what. I prayed and prayed. I worried everyday. How do I tell my parents? Why does a 17 year old have to deal with this? Everyday I woke up, it was the first thing on my mind. I came on and was so relieved.

Then I faced another problem. I hated the fact that my ex boyfriend raped me, and didn’t want him to be the last person inside me. After 3 months of seeing my new boyfriend I had sex with him. I wasn’t ready for that at all, but in my mind I had to do it. I became mean, and evil to everyone. I had MAJOR TRUST ISSUES,  I hated myself and others too. I never associated my anger with the rape until years and years later. On Dec 4 1985, I got pregnant with my first and ONLY child.  I had my daughter ON MY BIRTHDAY… September 3, 1986. martonenecree

Years and years had passed, before I saw my ex boyfriend again. When I first laid eyes on him, the rape was the first thing that came to mind. I hated him even more, and hoped to never ever run into him again. In my late 20’s I was having the time of my life. Me and my daughters father had broken up and I was meeting new guys. Funny thing looking back. Mainly Police Officers. I wonder what was my attraction to them. Security? I’m not sure. By the time I was in my early 30’s and I started slowing down, the night I was raped started coming back to my mind. Late 30’s I started eating more and picking up lots and lots of weight. Early 40’s  it was on my mind EVERY DAY. God always told me that it was going to come back like throw up. Everything that happened that night was going to come up. Because I had not dealt with it. I pushed it out of my mind for years. It was time….. and He was right!

One day God told me loud and clear, that when my ex boyfriend get out of jail he was going to come to my job at Walmart and through my line. For me to not be afraid. It happened just like he said. I even blogged about it on this site.. the same night GOD TOLD ME. When I saw him I froze, caught me off guard, couldn’t stop thinking about that night as he stood there waiting for his turn. I was so nervous, but my power never left from me. I was in control and I made it through the transaction.  I had been hearing over the years that he believed my daughter was his.  He told his family, his kids and our friends that I had his daughter. I never told anyone what he did to me, so it made me MAD!!!!!!!!!. Then people would think that we had consensual sex… WHEN WE DIDN’T. He’s the bold type to tell them how young he was , but raped and got me pregnant. Either way, it wasn’t true and I wished he would stop telling people that. I wanted to brush him and the whole story UNDER A RUG or BED SOMEWHERE!!!! Just as he was leaving my line, he said to me… Tell my daughter I said Hi, and I want to meet her. I know she’s my daughter. I WAS SO MAD AND SO ANGRY!!! I let him walk out of the store without saying a word. My daughter was in her teens by this time, and all the talk of my daughter being his, ….. PISSED ME OFF TO NO END!!!

PART 4 TOMORROW!

I AM CREE (( I don’t have to do anything else))

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