Finding my purpose in life.
What is my calling? What are my gifts?
As I sat long and hard about this, having to go back and remember things in my childhood, I can say that it was quite fun. I was amazed at how much I realized that the things that I’m good at today, started a LONG TIME AGO. God had already put these things inside of me, and all this time it was growing. These are the things that I have remembered growing up. I hope that you do this exercise as well.
The Lord- I can remember being on punishments in my room reading the Bible and becoming fascinated with God and all the things that was recorded. It was then at around 13 or 14 when I built a relationship with him and started hearing his voice loud and clear. He spoke to me all the time, telling me things before they would happen. I remember feeling so special everyday, like we were the only ones in the world. Being in my room all the time with no one to talk to, he filled that void. I remember reading about how wise Solomon was, and how I wanted to have wisdom someday. So everyday I would pray, and pray, and pray, and pray, and pray about it. Its so funny thinking back on those days being so young and wanting to have wisdom but I was serious. I truly know for a fact that he has Blessed me with Wisdom and Discernment.
Love- I grew up with a very loving family. We’re even closer in our adult life. My parents planted in us over and over again, that family is not suppose to fight. We could argue and debate, but when its over, we had to hug, kiss and make up right there on the spot in front of everyone. We hated that. Never knowing that it would play a huge part of who I am today. I’m not a person who holds grudges or is revengeful. When I was 17 I was raped and became very angry and hateful. But as time went on, God was there in my heart to restored the Love I had for people. The Love I have also caused me to connect to people that I had no business connecting with, and still till this day, I struggle with that because of the way I grew up. Love causes me to open my heart to the things that we go through as children of God. I believe with all my heart that the Love my parents taught me to have with my siblings, goes hand in hand with my calling. These are important things that I need to complete my purpose in life.
Writing and Reading- Growing up, I would be in my room or in the corner somewhere reading, and writing down my thoughts. I love to visualize things and bring them to life with my way of thinking. I always had a way of making people see things in a different light with my examples. I always get the reaction of ” I never looked at it that way”. I remember whatever I was reading, I had to pause and visualize it in my mind for several minutes . I would read a story and put faces and personalities to the story to bring it to life. My siblings and friends use to always talk about me, as they were outside playing. It bothered me when they did that, because no one understood me. In my 20’s I wrote a love story based on thoughts in my mind about how I would meet my husband. I realized recently that the reason why I hate talking over the phone is because I enjoy writing down my thoughts more. Recently I got serious about writing a book about my testimony within the last 2 years. Even though its hard to revisit many things about it, these important Life Lessons we all can learn from.
Tomorrow Part 3 Listener, Advice, Planner
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
I absolutely love the teachings of Bishop TD Jakes and have seen him several times LIVE at my Church Second Ebenezer for our April Breakthrough Services. If I had the money, I would fly to Dallas Texas every Saturday to be in the services on Sunday morning. Recently he taught on the subject of ” Instinct” and “Transformation Thinking”. He mentioned learning about the gifts inside of you. What is your purpose on earth? He said that God has already equipped us to do the work, and challenged us to go back in our childhood and pull out of things that we enjoy doing. We will find that everything is already inside of us. So I decided to sit and think hard about the things I did then that I enjoy doing now. I’m going to pray on it, and if you’re reading this, you should do it with me. I think it’ll be fun!!!! Tomorrow, I’ll be back to get it started.
“It is time for you to step into your purpose and your destiny, in fact many people have been delayed because they’ve spent their life fulfilling somebody’s else’s dream.” -Bishop TD Jakes
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Wednesday…… Christmas Day, I went downstairs to the convenience store that’s located in my building to buy a few things. When I gave the owner of the store my $50.00 bill, he said “Oh LaCrease I don’t have any change, I just gave it out”. He said well, get your things, and you can just bring it back tomorrow.
I just LOVE the older husband and wife who owns the store. They give credit to anyone who lives in the building, and I have needed them more than a time or two. He wrote down my total and I went to my apartment.
Thursday, I went back to pay my bill and to buy a few other things. I gave his wife the same $50 bill. When she gave me the change back…. she gave me 4-$20 bills and said ” I owe you $16.00 just one second”. So I’m standing there saying to myself… “Okay I thought I gave her a $50 bill, she thinks I gave her a $100.00”. Then I started doubting myself.. because all I had was 1-$100.00 bill and a $50 bill, I thought maybe I grabbed the wrong bill. Then God said No… LaCrease you didn’t grab the wrong one. Then Satan comes in…. and said LISTEN…. this is your last money for a WHILE… you just lost your job, and that money is your BLESSING… KEEP IT. He said you need personal items, and this LAST $150.00 goes toward your rent. You NEED this money. Then God said…. LISTEN…. That is NOT a BLESSING from ME……these people have been good to you since DAY ONE LACREASE * I love how he says my name*. He said.. if you take this money and you know its not yours, guilt will eat you up. He said now do you want to go back to your apartment and have to think about that EVERYDAY? Then EVERYTIME you come down to this store, you’ll have to look these people in the eye knowing you took their money. He said, anything you need I WILL SUPPLY.. you do NOT need this extra $50.00. He said speak up and give this money back to her….. you do NOT want to have to deal with me. I said Lord.. say no more. I gave her the money back, and they both kept thanking me. I said … you and your husband has been good to me.
As I look back on it. You never know what you would do in certain situations. I know for a fact that had I been in a good place AT THAT TIME financially I wouldn’t need for God to speak to me… because I would give it back without a thought. But God knew I was broke, he know I had just lost my job, he knew * in my mind* that money could have helped me with personal needs.
Its amazing how the few minutes she told me to wait for the rest of the money…….. God used that time to talk to me. I look at stuff like that. Those minutes were needed. This is for everyone… when you’re faced with your last money, and you have to make a decision to do right or wrong… do right. Let me share with happened to me THE VERY NEXT DAY.
My daughter called me and asked would I go with her and her dad to see this home she was interested in purchasing. I told her YES!!! After we saw the home, she said “momma lets go to the movies to see “The Wolf of Wall Street”, we checked out show times and realized that we had an extra hour to burn before the movie starts. As we are riding, she says… lets go to Walmart. We went in… and she said… do you need anything? I said naw… I’m good. But as we walked around… I started seeing stuff I did need. LOL At some point, she said momma.. I know you need stuff, she said get what you need. I got soap, pads, toothpaste, bath wash, and some lip gloss. Then she said… anything else? I asked her when we got in the van… why do you always want to help me ALL THE TIME… I said I’m good. She said momma you have always taken care of me. Anything I wanted or needed and you had the money you got it for me. She said I’m happy to be in a position to do it. I can’t even put into words to describe when your child tells you this. She took me to the movies, and bought me popcorn and pop. I love my baby.
Later on that night… as I sat and thought about my day. I remembered what God told me IN THE STORE….. He said “I will supply all your needs”. WOW WOW WOW. AND HE DID. Thank you Jesus.