To My Daughter’s Stepmom,/BLOG

Here is a article that someone shared on Face Book. Had me in tears.. This letter is so beautiful. Father God…. your face is shown in this. 

(IJReview) — A woman named Candice Curry wrote a letter to her ex-husband’s new wife Ashley Parish, and the reception of the letter has been off the charts.

Here is the full letter from Curry’s Women With Worth blog via our friends at Young Cons. Take a look for yourself.

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.

But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.

Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.

My plans were foiled.

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.

You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.

I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her.

You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.

Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.

I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.

I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life. Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.

I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.

Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.

God bless you and I love you.

Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:

“Candice, I don’t know what to say.  I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”

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Some Women Are Something Else… had to go there/BLOG

crester

 

So….. tonight I’m just rambling. Thinking about triggered things before I lay down to sleep.

There’s this gurl who lives in my building, she has to be about 28 ( a “kid” to me.. my daughter’s that age). Very nice pleasant. She always smiles and speak and also have a bubbly personality like I do. Every time I see her, she’s always chatting with someone in a good mood.

This one night maybe about 1 in the morning. I went downstairs to the lobby to talk to security about the dog next door to me and its barking. He told me that the new neighbor will be in shortly from work and that she’s very understanding and friendly. When she came in, we talked. She told me that her dog will be leaving in the morning to live with a friend because she’s gotten complaints from the front office about him. That was cool. We stayed in the lobby and chatted with security for about an hour plus just the 3 of us…..

When….

HOMEGURL * the nice friendly one* WALTZ in staring at me… like I stole her dayum lunch money. At the same time walking towards HIM… but staring at me REAL MEAN. So, I’m saying to myself…. gurlyougotmemessedup….. we’ll tear this lobby up tonight! I never in my life had a fight…. but the way she was looking at me…. I had to turn my head, then look back at her to see if she was looking at me. Now, I usually laugh at women like that. But when she walked in, she changed the WHOLE ATMOSPHERE. She didn’t say Hi… or nothing. She came in and posted her no-shaped body….right next to him. He’s a nice guy, he was looking like… “gurl what’s your problem?” He’s a Virgo too… so I know he checked her real good when we left. Anyway…. she never spoke. Me and my neighbor.. caught the elevator to our apartments and dueced out!!! LOL

Last week… didn’t I see that…  NO BOOTY HAVING SPONGE BOB SHAPED gurl in the lobby talking to HIM?  Keep in mind.. he’s been working here almost a year.. and before that night…. I NEVER KNEW HIS NAME. I speak to everyone, smile.. and keep it moving. Now, I’m walking up to building looking at the security counter before I walk in. I could see them. So, I said to myself.. she always speak and make conversation with me, and I don’t like to jump to conclusions about a person. So, if she speaks to me.. Okay… maybe that was ME the other night “feeling some kinda way”. I said now, if she throws me shade… it was her all the time, and that means she likes the security guy and feels some kinda way about me. I walks in.. looking cute… and says “Hey…. how yall doing?” She’s looking down at her phone… LOOKING REAL MEAN * LOL*.. He’s looking at me, and we speak at the same time. I looks at her… as I’m walking to the elevators.. She took a looooooong pause and FINALLY said “hi”.  It was so low, and dry. LOL She never looked up at me… totally out of character for her. I don’t even know this child’s name.

MY point is….women STOP IT. STOP! Why must we do this to each other? What is the point? Some women are so territorial about these men. And for what? Now, I have to be on guard when I see her again, instead of looking forward to a funny and friendly conversation with her in passing. I’m also a friendly person. I speak to everyone, never have an attitude. I don’t see how women can devote time and energy into other women with this MESS. Its so petty and time consuming. Grow up!

I look forward to having my Sisters Only Gathering. I have a lot to say.

Be Blessed!

I Saw It In Her/BLOG

She wrote on her FB page today: The older I get, the less I care about who likes me and who don’t. I’m almost certain I don’t have as many “FRIENDS” as I thought and I’m perfectly fine with being the outcast. I never blended well with regular ppl anyways..just don’t be fake with it.. anywho back to bed I go! Have a good day ppl (p.s. Plz utilize the unfriend button so I can add new ppl I’m at capacity) 😑 thank you

I’m so happy she finally got it!!! When I first met this young lady at my old job…. it was something about her. I told her… you are a LEADER… you have the POWER to change things, and lead people. As I looked at the “puzzled” look on her face… I knew she wasn’t getting it. She even admitted that she felt there was nothing special about her. That was just fine with me, because I knew one day she would get it. I see her growth with each stat she post…… she is discovering sooner than later what I told her. I’m so proud of where she is in her life today, and I’m going to enjoy seeing her grow to the FULL BLOWN FLOWER God wants her to be.

BE BLESSED PEOPLE!

Speak life and pray for the best/BLOG

truth pill

I woke up today with a terrible headache. So much was on my mind. But after Church and a nap… I’m good. I went to the movies on Friday, but I stayed in the whole weekend. Glad I did too. Plus I caught up on some much needed rest. Sometimes its good to just relax on the couch, to watch a movie. I never do that. I’m not a TV person at all. This winter I’m going to detach from the computer and just relax on the couch. I have to tell myself its okay. I never talk on the phone, so that’s a PLUS. You’d be surprised that the most I talk on the phone is less than an hour a WEEK. I hate talking on the phone. But I can write your eyes off. LOL I spend a lot of time with my friends, siblings and parents, so in person I gets my talking in. LOL

Tonight I found out one of my kids ((students)) in school is being charged with MURDER. I’m seeing these kids DIE or GOING TO JAIL. Everyday last semester I would find out that he was in trouble and would hem him up in the corner and tell him if he don’t stop being bad, he’s going to end up dead or in jail. This last time, we talked for a good 10 minutes, he didn’t want to hear a word I said, but he listened anyway. Promised that he would be good… but it was something in his eyes that told me different. I loved him because if he could just get that “life” out of him, he could be a good person. He always listened to what I had to say, and he always, always respected me. I can see that day so clear, like it was yesterday. Every time I saw him, I had a urge to get him in the corner and talk some sense into him. Its so hard seeing your kids going out like this, especially when you can see their future either way. So sad. Here is his story…. he’s the one in the middle. We have to KEEP on our kids. Even in passing and seeing teens on the streets…. speak life into their lives.. no matter what you see in their eyes. Speak life and pray for the best. So sad. CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW.

 http://www.wxyz.com/news/13-year-old-murder-suspect-uses-victims-money-to-buy-weed-and-junk-food

Kids paternity goes wrong ((((((((Blog)))))))

I cried today watching this video.  This is happening to so many people and its time parents are truthful to their children no matter how “hard” it may be. No child/adult should be this devastated over a decision that the parents/parent was scared to make as a child. It’s not right and its not fair. Children need to be told the truth as they are growing up, so that they can grow with the situation. That would prepare them to be able to handle the truth of rejection or death of their family members, then they go out to find them. This is so sad. Please watch this video.

What’s SAM’S full name?…FUNNY/ ((((((((Blog))))))))

latiswa

For 5 years I was mentoring my Teen gurls group, Raisingurls to Women in my home, when I started to realize that while the teens were being part of a group that helped them to deal with issues, the moms were still working out of the same mentality. That bothered me and I never knew how I could bridge the gap, especially when many of them felt that only the teens were having issues, and not themselves. I get so many emails from parents who seek my advice in this area that it amazes me. Which leads me to focus more on parents/women.

When MarNesha was growing up, she was mostly like me, never cared about going over to people’s house. I rather sleep on my own bed at night, and had company at my house. But when she had boyfriends, she bought them over for me to meet. I’m not one of those parents/momma’s that would say yes to her going to their place without meeting them. I want to know names, phone numbers * yes I had her boyfriends number in my cell phone.. sure did*, address, who else they know associated with this person. I didn’t play that. See many parents don’t start off early about letting their kids know how they are. We know our kids like the back of our hands, we as parents need to let our kids know WHO WE ARE! WHAT WE WILL DO ,AND WHAT WE WONT TOLERATE as THEY’RE GROWING UP…. I ask questions. If you had a problem with me asking questions, let me know NOW, so we can shut this down and talk about something else.

Today my cousin La’Tisha ( my cousins Wife in above photo) posted this on her FB page. Oh its so funny. Parents beware….. these kids are starting off early!!! LOL This is a good one!!! Hahahaha * Get em gurl*

So riding in the car with my son and the conversation goes:
Son: Hey mom can I go over my friend’s house
Me: Where does your friend live.
Son: Oh just two blocks over.
Me: Let me ride by and see exactly where. I need to talk to his parents.
Me: Oh who is this friend?
Son: Well I’m actually going to see THEIR brother
Me: THEIR???
Me: Who is your friend? You didn’t answer my question.
Son: Sam
Me: What’s SAM’S full name
Son: Samantha.
Son: Oh she’s not going to be there.
Me: And neither are you!!!
‪#‎notgonnahappen‬
‪#‎nicetry‬
‪#‎only12‬
‪#‎wrongmomma‬

Be Blessed

 

Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God. – Dr. Maya Angelou