Love – Page 24 – Inside the mind of cree

January 2, 2014January 2, 2014

New Year….. New Mind!!! 2014 Crees Blog Entry

Happy New Year!!!! New Year…. New Mind!!!

Today is the first day of the New Year. I’m excited to see what awaits me for 2014. I had to make some changes in my life, and its funny, because never in a million years would I have done this on my own, this is how I know I’m ready for the next LEVEL in my mind. I’m not playing anymore, I’ve been so serious about changing things. I even changed my Twitter name to what it was in the beginning…. GodsgurlCree.

Sometime in September 2013, I realized after work and on weekends how I spent so much time talking on the phone…………for hours. I love my friends, and I really appreciate how they trust me with they’re life lessons. Its my time. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. My mom use to talk to me all the time. She would take me everywhere, she said I understood things, and didn’t Judge people, and that I always told the truth. As I grew up, people would always talk to me and I love that. But now there has come a time where I have to focus on myself. I never really realize how much of my time I devoted to others. Until, when I came home from Atlanta, while others wanted to talk about THEMSELVES…. I needed to talk about my issues. That’s when I really realized that I have always made it about others, and had NEGLECTED MYSELF. It’s not anyone’s fault….. it’s not even a bad thing. I just had to “feel some kinda way” in order to see the bigger picture. I was really going through a tough time mentality, and spiritually. I mean I was REALLY going through. God got me through that time in my life.

That was the FINAL straw to me. When my Verizon phone fell for the 3rd time in a few months *I didn’t want to pay another $100.00 for a new one* plus I wasn’t able to see who was calling. I decided that since my contract was almost up that I would REALLY TEST MYSELF concerning talking on the phone all day. I got me a trac phone. THAT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST DECISION I’VE MADE IN MY LIFE. LOL I DONT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE MY TIME WITH GOD/FRIENDS/FAMILY. Of course I will eventually get on another plan, but for now I need to learn balance. I laugh everyday at my new happiness of not being on the phone all day. I really don’t think no one has an idea of what I’m talking about. I HATE talking on the phone. I just HATE IT WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. When I’m on FB, none of my friends like to type out what they would say to me OVER THE PHONE… so they say when are you getting a phone? NEVER!!!! I can type all day LOL. With my minute phone… its “say what you gotta say” and lets keep it moving. LOL I still love ya… but I gotta GO! LOL

With all of that being said….. I spend a LOT of MY time with GOD. I’m so happy right now… I can’t stop laughing. I have never known a PEACE like this. I READ MY BIBLE, HAVE BIBLE STUDY, CHURCH, READ BOOKS, AND LISTEN TO MY GOSPEL MUSIC. I get so much done. This is THE OLD ME…. IM BACK LORD!!! He has revealed so much to me about myself, things I have missed over the years. He makes me laugh, … yesss he’s funny. If there is something you need to completely cut off…. just do it. You’re not missing anything. In the long run it will benefit you. It’s time to focus, its time to pay attention to what the voice you hear on the inside tells you, its time to do new things, think a different way. Cut off people, and things that doesn’t bring you closer to God. Trust me… you aint missing NOTHING. I leave you with this.

Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think . Then you will know what God wants you to do Romans 12:2 NLT

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 31, 2013December 31, 2013

Fingerpointing You………………………Crees Blog Entry

As I sit here thinking about the post I wrote about Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union.. it takes me back to my own personal relationships about cheating, and lies. The questions I had.

Every man I’ve ever given a second chance to… he cheated again. Sad thing about that.. these men are with different women now, some married and they’re still cheating. Now, there are some faithful men out there that love their wives dearly. And if they’re cheating, as long as his wife doesn’t detect it….. he’s not cheating. LOL I just wish that I could understand the thought process of a man before he thinks about doing it. What options does he weigh, what thoughts goes through his mind concerning her finding out? What would he say to her? What would be his reason that he tells her? Does he sees himself losing everything, or is that even a thought to him? Does he think about his family, or her feelings? What desire goes through his mind when he decide that its what he’s going to do anyway. What thought or feeling goes though his mind once the sexual act is over. And what drives him to do it again and again. Does he feel a sexual disconnection to his mate?

For a long time, I can remember calling over my friends every weekend just to drink and have a pity party. We dogged men coming and going. I use to date my daughters teacher when she was in preschool. Then when I started working there the following year, I found out that he was dating the teachers and the parents. * throws hands up… eyes closed* And didn’t I get into an argument with one of the ladies at the school, almost lost my job over this man? I cut dissed him ON SPOT. I made sure I went to work looking good everyday. I made him “SEXUALLY SICK” when ever he saw me. He couldn’t even function with me around. I had his mind gone. I can’t go for that type of behavior anymore. I LOVE ME. He knew he couldn’t tie my shoe if it was coming loose.

But you know…… I had to put away childish things. I couldn’t go on being angry with men because I chose cheaters. I realized that I was drawing these types of men to me. I had to change the way I looked at my relationships. I had to say NO… to the ones who didn’t fit into what I was looking for. So many times I got into relationships “just because they liked me”. These days….. I chose friendships and relationships wisely. They must have a relationship with God, they must be a person who goes to God before any family member and a friend.

Here is a song that I use to listen to when I was going through those relationships…. I love the words.. so honest and to the point.

Fonz
I don’t know what you goin thru lately
But you stressin it and it’s drivin me crazy
You wont even make love to me lately
Somebody told you they was havin my baby

Vee
I heard it all I was getting my nails done
She was braggin how your record when platinum
You were crushin on a leather couch
You were out there trickin with that chick all up in my house

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Vee
She knew it all even talked about your tattoo
Tell me how you gonna say it wasn’t bout you (wasn’t me)
Saying how you like to suck on toes
She knew all the things that you know that only I should know

Fonz
You played the role I was workin in the studio
Getting paid while you gave up the botty yo
Another brotha is getting all my time
You was out there trickin when I thought that shit was all mine all mine

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you
Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Fonz: Your thru with me
Vee: Im thru with you
Fonz: You lied to me
Vee: Never lied to you
Fonz: Stop blamin me
Vee: Im blamin you
Fonz: Stop gamin me
Vee: Whos gamin who
Fonz: So you say your thru with me
Vee: Im thru with you
Fonz: You lied to me
Vee: Never lied to you
Both: Better ask yourself if don’t matter baby why keep goin on

Fonz: can’t work with you lying and creepin babe
Vee: I can’t work I can’t deal with your cheatin and leavin babe(I can’t deal)
Fonz: can’t be a fool for lovin babe
Vee: Save the drama im about to bounce babe
Cant work with you lying and creepin babe
Vee: I can’t work I can’t deal with your cheatin and leavin babe(I can’t deal)
Fonz: can’t be a fool for lovin babe
Vee: Save the drama im about to bounce babe

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 31, 2013January 6, 2014

Happy New Years!!!

Happy New Years to Everyone. This year for me, has been a tough one. Whew, Lord Jesus, all I could do was wave my hands in the air and THANK HIM ANYHOW. No matter how I was feeling, he always let me know he was there with a personal sign. To my friend who I love dearly, *who knows how to push my buttons*…. Thank you for be obedient to God, when he told you to tell me the things that was happening in my life that I couldn’t see. I kept those to myself…. NEVER shared it with anyone…. NOW I SEE…. NOW I SEE… NOW I SEE. Um um um…… I love you dearly boy, but I can’t stand you at the same time. LOL But…. all in all I made it through. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Lord. I’m looking forward to 2014 with all of my windows OPENED. Blessings.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 30, 2013

God said La’Crease………………………Crees Blog Entry

Wednesday…… Christmas Day, I went downstairs to the convenience store that’s located in my building to buy a few things. When I gave the owner of the store my $50.00 bill, he said “Oh LaCrease I don’t have any change, I just gave it out”. He said well, get your things, and you can just bring it back tomorrow.

I just LOVE the older husband and wife who owns the store. They give credit to anyone who lives in the building, and I have needed them more than a time or two. He wrote down my total and I went to my apartment.

Thursday, I went back to pay my bill and to buy a few other things. I gave his wife the same $50 bill. When she gave me the change back…. she gave me 4-$20 bills and said ” I owe you $16.00 just one second”. So I’m standing there saying to myself… “Okay I thought I gave her a $50 bill, she thinks I gave her a $100.00”. Then I started doubting myself.. because all I had was 1-$100.00 bill and a $50 bill, I thought maybe I grabbed the wrong bill. Then God said No… LaCrease you didn’t grab the wrong one. Then Satan comes in…. and said LISTEN…. this is your last money for a WHILE… you just lost your job, and that money is your BLESSING… KEEP IT. He said you need personal items, and this LAST $150.00 goes toward your rent. You NEED this money. Then God said…. LISTEN…. That is NOT a BLESSING from ME……these people have been good to you since DAY ONE LACREASE * I love how he says my name*. He said.. if you take this money and you know its not yours, guilt will eat you up. He said now do you want to go back to your apartment and have to think about that EVERYDAY? Then EVERYTIME you come down to this store, you’ll have to look these people in the eye knowing you took their money. He said, anything you need I WILL SUPPLY.. you do NOT need this extra $50.00. He said speak up and give this money back to her….. you do NOT want to have to deal with me. I said Lord.. say no more. I gave her the money back, and they both kept thanking me. I said … you and your husband has been good to me.

As I look back on it. You never know what you would do in certain situations. I know for a fact that had I been in a good place AT THAT TIME financially I wouldn’t need for God to speak to me… because I would give it back without a thought. But God knew I was broke, he know I had just lost my job, he knew * in my mind* that money could have helped me with personal needs.

Its amazing how the few minutes she told me to wait for the rest of the money…….. God used that time to talk to me. I look at stuff like that. Those minutes were needed. This is for everyone… when you’re faced with your last money, and you have to make a decision to do right or wrong… do right. Let me share with happened to me THE VERY NEXT DAY.

My daughter called me and asked would I go with her and her dad to see this home she was interested in purchasing. I told her YES!!! After we saw the home, she said “momma lets go to the movies to see “The Wolf of Wall Street”, we checked out show times and realized that we had an extra hour to burn before the movie starts. As we are riding, she says… lets go to Walmart. We went in… and she said… do you need anything? I said naw… I’m good. But as we walked around… I started seeing stuff I did need. LOL At some point, she said momma.. I know you need stuff, she said get what you need. I got soap, pads, toothpaste, bath wash, and some lip gloss. Then she said… anything else? I asked her when we got in the van… why do you always want to help me ALL THE TIME… I said I’m good. She said momma you have always taken care of me. Anything I wanted or needed and you had the money you got it for me. She said I’m happy to be in a position to do it. I can’t even put into words to describe when your child tells you this. She took me to the movies, and bought me popcorn and pop. I love my baby.

Later on that night… as I sat and thought about my day. I remembered what God told me IN THE STORE….. He said “I will supply all your needs”. WOW WOW WOW. AND HE DID. Thank you Jesus.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 29, 2013

Question……………….Crees Blog Entry

Someone on my FB page ask this question: Have you ever asked yourself; “Am I being a good role model to those whom admire me?” That’s a question everyone should ask themselves. Before I post anything on FB or Twitter, I ask myself.. what message will they get, am I angry right now, will I please God? I admit I can be quite VERBAL on Twitter, and I noticed that and for now on… I will take a few minutes to regroup myself from posting things that are done out MY EMOTIONS. People are paying attention to what you post. Whatever is in your post… it first came out of your heart.

I learned that if I’m angry about something, If I just give myself about 20 minutes to calm down… then what I was going to post I WONT EVEN POST ANYMORE. I LOVE that about God. But if you want to be seen, heard, or even felt, your EMOTIONS will override God’s voice, and your stats will always be full of ANGER AND RAGE, UNNECESSARY BRAGGING, AND IGNORANT CONVERSATIONS. If you don’t believe me….. scroll down and check your last 10 stats. Remember people are on FB for either one or two things, to be Spiritually Fed, or to be Nosey. Just know we ALL have BAD days.. we ALL go through… we ALL get mad and angry….. but the person who can control their EMOTIONS are the ones who are most ADMIRED.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 29, 2013

God wants me to know…….Crees Blog Entry

Today, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

you need to maintain a balance between your needs and others’ needs.

Yes, it’s not an easy balance to keep, but try you must. Give too much, drain yourself, and there is nothing left only bitter space. Give too little, become a cork, and you block the flow of God’s love through you. Keep on balancing.

This is the truth. I am truly balancing. It was hard for me in the beginning but I’m finding it FUN to do things for myself. I am NOT GOD…..just like I have to go to him….. I will be directing all others to do the same. Oh yes….. there will be CHANGES.

This song is for ME…

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 27, 2013

Pages of my Diary………………………… Crees Blog Entry

Pages of my Diary…. June 5-6 2001 12:19 am

Hello God

What’s going on Boo? Well thank you for being by my side just like you promised. Ill never forget that….. I love you!

Woke up this morning Anna neighbor car out of gas in front of the house. Her brother came with some gas. So she and Neishia * daughter* was tight.

Stayed up made dinner early. I ate at 10:30 this morning. Went to sleep until time to get Neishia.

Rodney* boyfriend at the time* called and told me he was coming over, He came, then Marto * baby daddy* pulled up and gave Neishia $55.00 for her hair. So tomorrow I’m going to get her a perm and shampoo. She have a 1/2 day tomorrow and Wednesday they take finals. So we’ll start on her hair tomorrow.

Work was tight today. ….finished at 11:35 or so. Rodney at first couldn’t get his car started just like Anna. He was looking cute so was Marto. They shook hands and spoke.

Ralph * boss at that time* called again with his mess. Didn’t pay him much attention, things are fine today. Called Janine* my hair stylist of 23 years* and Tuesday 10:30 is my app day * for hair* So. I need to make out a schedule for this weekend and next.

Sat- check ( bank), eyes nails, meijer
Subject to change!

Creasy!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

December 22, 2013

Consider……. Crees Blog Entry

James 1:2-8 (New International Version)

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

December 16, 2013December 16, 2013

Made my night……Crees Blog Entry

Its amazing how I was feeling down… and one of my students sent me this in inbox tonight…. MADE MY NIGHT ….

Maa, i went to the hospital in they did in X-ray on my Heart in they found you in They Said If You Leave I will Diee

Let me share how we became friends. Everyday at work she would ask me to come over to her table and she’d say ….. “you owe me $1.00”. And when she first said it, I was like “huh for what”?. I’m always buying them something.. and I thought maybe I did owe her money.

I noticed that she has this Spirit about her that tells me that she’s the boss of her gurls. Everyday she would see me and give me this look as if she wanted to “be my friend”. I know that look, because they’re people who I meet and instantly I know, we’re going to be good friends. Well, this one day I went and sat down at her table with her and her friends. I said to her…. do I really owe you some money? I knew I didn’t, I wanted to talk to her to see where she was coming from. She said No, you don’t…. and smiled. I looked around the table with a smile and laughter in my voice, and asked her friends… hey yall…. is she a bully? They were like YES YES YES… but not in a bad way. I looked at her laughing.. I said I knew you were, talking about I owe you some money? LOL LOL We all cracked up. I said to her, now let me ask you a question? Who in your family is a bully…. because I know for a fact, if you’re a bully, you’re being bullied. Her eyes lit up like “how you know”? She said my mom bullies me. Isn’t that something? Ever since then we have kept in touch. The things that she has to go through… is unreal. I cry for her, and I want to always be apart of her life. And she’s a VIRGO just like me…. she’s my baby.