“WHO R U” Part 1 Cree’s Blog Entry

whoare uAs I sit here cooking dinner… Collard Greens, corn bread and fried chicken, I am reminded of the complete PEACE that I have in my life.

As bad as I want to tell and “share” my dinner with several family members * because I KNOW they will appreciate it* …. God has reminded me that its okay to prepare it and to have it for myself.

For as long as I can remember I have always been the person who spends all day inviting friends * one at a time* over and helping them to sort out the things that’s going on in their life, and even when I wanted to be alone and enjoy my own PEACE… I kept smiling and invited more. I remember so clearly being in my apartment in my early 20’s, washing dishes when I said Lord, I want a Best Friend.. someone who I can talk to, instead of doing all the listening. I heard him loud and clear when he said to me… I am your Best Friend. I said I know God.. but I’m talking about somebody “down here”. Here it is 20 plus years later, and that conversation comes to my mind at least twice a week. I don’t know if I “hurt” his feelings (((smile))) or he knew it was going to come a time when I’d say… NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NEW FRIENDS FOR ME/CREE LORD… IM GOOD!!!!! LOL

I realize that as a child growing up that I’m a very supportive and motherly person. I still do NOT in my adult life know how to balance this in my life. Its like I want to LOVE and HELP everybody. I admit I have gotten so much better with this, because by living on my own, it has helped me to do more for myself. Daily I have to sit quietly and think about ME. Doing what makes me happy. I’m sad sometimes in how much time and energy I put into others, when they were busy “doing them”, or was it that I MADE IT ABOUT THEM? Even though they all APPRECIATE everything, its ME… its ME who need to learn balance. When to offer my help, or to just fall back.

Here’s what I found out….. Part 2 coming tomorrow.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Feeling some kinda way….about him.. Cree’s Blog Entry!

2013-07-1220.05.30I have a lot that I could speak on when it comes to the Zimmerman case, but I’m very vocal on Twitter so I’ll just leave it at that.

 

I knew once I was on my own I would make myself more available to dating and getting to know someone nice. I can’t even count the men that I have met in the last 6 months. None of them made it inside my apartment, and it never went as far as a kiss.

 

 

But this one guy… um um um….. I liked him… I mean I really liked him. I really thought my “like” button was broke, because I always knew what kind of man I wanted, and I just wasn’t coming across him. We saw each other 5 times a week, and talked on the phone between both his jobs. I would sit at his job in my building * he was the boss* for hours, he never wanted me to leave. We got attached to each other real quick. But one day…. when I walked up to him for the first time that day… he stared me in the eyes and said… I talked to God about you last night….* and then he told me what God told him*… he said to me, when this happen don’t forget about me. I was so shocked at what he said.. I just stood there in a frozen blizzard and stared at him. He was like… are you alright… what? I couldn’t even talk… I changed the subject and when I got to my apartment I got in the bathtub and started thinking about it. Just then he called and said Cree are you okay? What did I say so shocking? I played it off again, and we hung up.

 

Right then and there I knew he wasn’t the one for me, I knew that he was ONLY in my life to give me that message. I KNEW that my days of being with and around him were numbered. GOD KNEW that in order for me to even BELIEVE the message , was that  I HAD TO HAVE SOME KIND OF FEELINGS/CONNECTION  to HIM to even give him the time of day. I do NOT put any energy into a man who I have ABSOLUTELY no feelings for…. its time consuming and relationship/friendship suicide.

 

The reason why I would never get serious with him, was because he was in the “process” of getting himself together, and had several “when he had time” relationships. I was not looking for that at all. I also noticed that when we would talk, several other women came around, and as a woman I knew that he was attracted to them as well as to me. One person in particular… I knew he had eyes for. She couldn’t wait until I left so that she could get her few hours in… LOL it was all good, because I knew he wasn’t the one for me, but his presence, personality, conversations, beautiful teeth and smile… ALWAYS made me happy.

 

He’d applied for another job, and had gotten it. I knew my days of not seeing him were numbered when he shared that info with me. He worked 2 full time jobs and lived too far for us to see each other even once a week. I was sad and stopped calling him. He would call me all the time and ask why you never call me anymore. I couldn’t take not seeing him like I was use too. I was wrong, but I had to disconnect from him. I just stopped answering  his calls, and stop calling him. This was in April or May.

 

Yesterday……… as I stepped out of my van and was walking through my gated parking lot. I felt “something”.. I cant even explain what it was, but it was a weird feeling. It was so weird that I decided to scan the parking lot to see was someone following me… it wasn’t even 6pm yet, and it  doesn’t get dark until after 9. As I’m walking towards my building…. I spot HIM AND her…..looking at me as they walk to the car. Yea… the gurl, the “one in particular”. She lives here in my building. My heart was racing when I saw him because it caught me  totally off guard. I wasn’t mad or anything…. I JUST KNEW WHAT I KNEW. I knew they liked it each other, and I know they’re together.

 

I guess the point I’m making is…. I’m still feeling some kinda way about seeing him… and THEM TOGETHER.I really really liked him. I haven’t liked a guy like that in over 10 years. I’m very funny about giving my heart, time and Love to anyone. I have to really know you, and be with you, to know how I feel. And God knew this. But he had to get that message to me… and I got it. But back in the day, baaaaaaby…..as soon as I put that key into the door, I would have been calling him *not caring one thing about what they are to each other* saying……. COME TO MY APARTMENT TONIGHT AT 8. BE HERE!!!! LOL But I’m 45 and I KEEPS IT MOVING…..The one for me is still out there!!! 🙂

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Wonderful Weekend!!

rennisance

Hey,

 

I had a wonderful weekend with my daughter and her dad’s family reunion. Neisha was the Vice-President and Mistress of Ceremonies for the very well planned, very organized event. I love her dads side of the family because they always show me LOVE. I hate I was having such a good time that I didn’t take photos like I normally do. I forgot to take my camera to the banquet, and the after party her dad had in his hotel room. In 2 years they are taking the reunion to BUFFALO NEW YORK!!! Atlanta wanted it, but New York beat them out.

 

It gave me great joy to see Neishia walking around and all her people know her. Her dads family is HUGE. And to see that I put away my foolishness with her dad, so that she could have the best of both worlds made me so happy that I finally listened to the voice of God.

So much is going through my mind right now…. Tomorrow, I’ll gather my thoughts on the Trayvon Martin case…. and another VIRGO MAN I MET LAST NIGHT…OH BOY….. * SMH*

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Virgo Men

msvirgocreefameHmmm just something I found interesting. I met a Virgo in my parking lot last week. I dated a Virgo man in the past, and he was weird. We always argued, and he always showered me with gifts.. .THEN WANTED THEM BACK. I’ve met several Virgo men lately, and I need to understand why they all seem to be alike. This is the best piece yet I found on line by someone name Lisa… on a VIRGO MAN.

 
Virgo Men

I have to say, out of all the signs in the zodiac this one is the most perplexing in a relationship. Virgo men are incredibly critical when it comes to themselves and that will spill over to their ,relationships. I have never met, nor read for a Virgo male that was happy in their current state. Living for the moment is NOT their strong suit and their minds are so hyper analytical they create more problems for themselves and their lovers than solutions.

A Virgo male is what I like to call “fire and ice”. When they have an interest in a woman they believe in courting her. They may not have even spoken to her yet, but through his observations he has “summed up” just whom he thinks she is. He has created little scenario’s in his mind, and he’s begun to write a script of the relationship that hasn’t even started yet. He will woo her, be attentive, listen intently to all she says, taking notes and remembering fine details of all she says. He is a gentleman in every sense of the word. This man will make you feel as though you are not only the only woman in the room but the only woman on the planet as well. He’s known for luxury, comfort and fine things. He will open car doors, pull out your chair, order for you, and even gingerly feed her ice cream. He will call the next day, send texts wishing you a “good morning”, and he will be highly romantic. He sounds like dream come true. But remember, everyone has a shadow side and this man’s shadow side is the complete opposite. Remember, I stated he has an analytical mind and he will over analyze and blow up even the tiniest of things.

Once the courtship is solidified and the relationship cemented and this man feels secure that you belong to him he begins to unravel it. He will dissect every aspect of the relationship, not so much to pick YOU apart, but because of his own critical nature of the self he tends to find fault with a great deal. He idealizes so many things, and you are NOT sticking to the script he wrote of your love affair that he tends to manipulate it so it follows said script. He will stop with compliments and now he will give “helpful suggestions” which sound a lot like demands and dissection of your entire character. He can be brutal with this and it can and will be wounding. Mostly it’s wounding because before you could do no wrong, you were perfect, and now he’s finding fault with everything.

The more you try to please this man, the more you will fail. He likes independent, yet domestic women. He loves sensuality, but not overtly sexual women. He loves a great sense of humor, but never at his expense. You must be intelligent, self sufficient and someone who is strong, yet he wants to be needed. He’s a walking, talking contradicition. This is a man who wants it all, and he will refuse to settle for less. This is why most Virgo men tend to marry very late in life, or not at all.

Once you begin the tragic circle of jumping through hoops to mold, shift and change for him, he will lose a great deal of respect for you. He may become enraged when you stand ground, but I will tell you he will respect you for it. You never want to lose the respect of Virgo, for once you do, you lose their attention.

CONTROL should be a the middle name of a Virgo male. And many times in an effort to control aspects of their own lives they, in turn, attempt to control aspects of yours, though they don’t see it this way. It’s their life, you happen to be part of it, therefore you are subjected to their insatiable need for such control. That is how they view it. When you express your desires, needs, and wants, they will fulfill them only if it fits into what they want for their own lives. They appear to be very black and white thinkers, but I will tell you that under the surface you will never find another sun sign that worries, stresses or fears the worst than a Virgo male. Their minds are constantly working on a problem, but their actions in fixing said problem in a relationship are limited, and if they can get YOU TO CHANGE instead of changing themselves they will always choose that option. They don’t see what they are doing most of the time and how they have the ability to truly damage their lovers self esteem.

Virgo men are loyal, despite the bad reputation they may have earned. These men crave attention but the attention they crave is one that they are successful, helpful, respected, etc. It’s not really of a shallow nature, though their vanity does tend to get in their way, and Virgo men embrace aging much like a fading movie star sitting in a botox chair…the fight it every step of the way. But in relationships, they may give you the illusion he has other options, and he may, but he is highly selective and may be venturing into more of an emotional or mental affair more so than a physical one. They don’t bed a bevvy of women for instant gratification, there has to be more to it than sex for a virgo male.

They are also creatures of habit. I find them to be very predictable and ending relationships is not their strong suit. They tend to do so in a cut and dry manner, they shut down, withdraw and silence. They won’t return your calls, nor your texts, but they won’t tell you to “get lost” either. They tend to hold onto the past as they may regret their decision and want to revisit it. They are notorious for having explosive break ups, turning a tiny disagreement into a full blown brawl. They walk out, fall silent but make no mistake they are so sure of your love for them they will wait by that phone for the apology they feel they so richly deserve (even if they started the battle). As time goes by and you are not calling they become even more angry, bitter and resentful. But, and this is a big but, they are also known to reappear without warning, and attempting to discuss the issue long after you’ve moved on and forgotten about it. This causes many women bewilderment and they cannot figure out what the game plan is here. Is he trying to reconcile? Did he miss me? What’s he doing? What he’s doing is seeking validation that you are still waiting for him, and if you give him that, you will be placed back up on that shelf to collect dust only to be taken down and played with whenever he needs to feel secure again. It’s a horrible catch 22.

What keeps a woman going back to a virgo man is when he’s good he’s amazing. But when he’s bad he’s the most heartbreaking of men. He can make you feel alive, desired and wanted beyond measure, then with icy silence cut you off and make you feel utterly disposable. I wish I could tell you he wasn’t aware he’s doing this, but he’s well aware of it, and he’s so caught up in his own emotions, wants, needs and desires that yours aren’t even on his mind.

The best way to deal with a Virgo male in a love relationship is to be honest, up front and stand for your beliefs. If he insults or wounds you try to remove emotion from it and speak matter of factly. Emotions don’t hold a lot of weight and he’ll see you as out of control. Be very direct and state your case. If he tries to engage in battle walk away! Don’t engage. It won’t be pretty because this man will pull out all the ammo in an effort to win this battle. He’ll bring up your drunken mother, you’re cheating ex, and how you need dental work. There is nothing off limits when this man wants to attack. Fight the urge to retort. If he starts to get nasty, walk away and tell him you’ll discuss it when he’s not being so immature. A Virgo male hates to feel in inferior and when YOU are the more rational one he will stop his antics. If you insult him back not only will it get worse, but you will pay for it for weeks, perhaps months. They are like elephants, they never forget.

Secondly, don’t give this man ultimatums. He doesn’t respond to them, and if forced to move faster than he’s comfortable with he will retreat and leave you behind wondering WTF?

Remember, he is an earth sign. He does not move fast with anything. This man is cautious, meticulous, a perfectionist, a bit OCD, high worrier, and critical. He takes great time and care doing every task from buying a home, marriage proposal to making a sandwich. It can be maddening especially if you’re a fire sign and move quickly and follow your intuition. This man questions himself constantly so he won’t move in haste. He is always looking for a better option, and he’s frugal. He loves fine things, and may blow 10K on a gadget that is of quality rather than settle for something cheaper to do the trick. He’s a hard worker, but he has spouts of it. He’ll work non stop for 3 months without a break, then crash from exhaustion and hibernate cutting off everything and everyone to recharge. He doesn’t give a warning, he just retreats, again leaving you wondering if you did something wrong. Only to reappear without excuse, apology or explanation.

The best way to get along well with a Virgo male is to allow him the space he needs to do what he needs to do. Only lend advice when it’s asked for (he doesn’t take advice well). Stay true to your desires, for if you work your life around this man you will forever be doing so. Set boundaries with him. If he crosses a line with you, tell him blankly, and stick to it. He will challenge your boundaries. Be authentic. He won’t appreciate a dishonest, phoney person. The best advice I can give is know who you are, know what you want, what you stand for and what you will NOT tolerate, because if you go into a relationship with a Virgo male and you are seeking validation and/or expecting him to make you a secure person you will end up worse off than you were before.

Blessings, Lisa

#VIRGO #VIRGOS VIRGOS!!!!! Cree’s Blog Entry!!!

blurrymeI use to be deep into signs in my 20’s, these days every now and then I’ll find myself reading something on line about Virgos. I find the things that people say about us to be so true….some folks need to #tryagain.

I found some interesting post on line *Virgo Woman by GaneshaSpeaks.com , I want to share them and respond. My comments are about me, but you can learn a lot about yourself or someone you know or date.

The Virgo women’s greatest assets are their intelligence, analytical minds and excellent memory. They are logical thinkers who would take any into account every detail before arriving at a decision. Therefore, they are good at settling disputes and make good business partners, analysts and strategists. I do remember a lot, but I take in so much from myself and others, that I don’t believe I remember a lot. But maybe its true for things I WANT TO REMEMBER. LOL Yes, I think about everything!!! That’s why I’m a great planner. I can plan something, and think of the smallest detail in making it happen. When I do my Feeding the Homeless projects, Sistergurls, Raisingurls, out of town trips, its planned so well, that when its over, it feels to ME…… that it NEVER HAPPENED. I love that about myself. I do lots of research, calling folks over the phone, talking in person, coming to a CLEAR UNDERSTANDING, making sure folks understand what I want, and when I want it. I write down everything and don’t miss a beat. LOL This is funny.

They do have a softer side to their personalities. Although they may appear as strong-minded individuals, there are emotional and need to be well taken care of. They have a habit over becoming overcritical but don’t hold that against them because they have the same attitude towards themselves. I agree!!!! My personality is VERY STRONG. I know it comes from my dad, because all of us *3 siblings* are too. We weren’t  allowed to fight at all … period growing up, so our only defense was to argue and debate it out. We are SOME POWERHOUSES!!! One day I’m going to record one of our debates, its so funny. We GO AT IT. We never get personal, we always stay on the subject at hand. LOL That’s a site to see!!!! Yes, I’m very emotional. When it comes to people being mistreated, homeless, hungry, bullied, children, abused….. I am THE PERSON WHO STANDS UP FOR THESE FOLKS!!! I’m a very popular person everywhere I go, BUT …. don’t expect for me to sit a the table with the RICH AND POWERFUL…. Ill be the one making phone calls to get people shelter, food, and assistance. THENNNNN I’ll go mingle. LOL

These women don’t get influenced easily as they wary of exposing their emotional vulnerability and possibility of getting hurt. Besides, one has to match their high standards to impress the perfection-seeking Virgo women. Hence, patience is the key if you want make a lasting impression on a Virgo woman’s mind. Yep, all day long!!!! I’m not geeked on how much money you have or make, your car, your home, your position at work…. I’m geeked on how you treat your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, COWORKERS, and how well you communicate and greet others as soon as you make contact. Cause see God has treasures stored up for LaCrease in HEAVEN, ….that’s waiting for me. So, in order to impress me…. ON EARTH…… you have to care about PEOPLE. I cant stand or deal with ANY DRAMA…… he has to know what HE can do……. AND KEEP IT MOVING… my train * mind* is always moving!!!

Fun Tips

Virgos will forgive more than once if they love you. But don’t think they won’t get fed up and leave you high and dry. Virgos has a DISS BUTTON… .that’s outta this world!!!! It may take a moment to push it… but TRUST AND BELIEVE… its there!!!

Virgos won’t like people with controlling personalities, and like Scorpio, they NEVER change to suit anyone! I know when to fall back, and when to speak up. I cant deal with people who control with their POWER. #notimpressed

Virgos love the smell of freshness aromas,candles,fresh laundry,perfume,and cologne. YESSS. I LOVE TO SMELL A MAN’S NECK 🙂

Virgo ladies do not date based on looks or money. So it is essential that you have a great sense of humor and a decent outlook on life. I’M silly and love to laugh. I love it.

I am very shy when I meet a guy. VERY… I like to listen and pay attention to everything. People always come to WRONG conclusions about me/us when they think they know us, but have NO IDEA.

For example. I live downtown, and in my apartment complex we have 24 hour security… one of the guys ask me to come here so that he can say something to me. He said… “I know you like me”… and since me and him are cool. It kinda shocked me. So instead of me making all of these facial expressions that would clearly SHUT HIM DOWN VIRGO STYLE… I asked him…. tell me… how did you come to that conclusion? He said the way you look at me when you come in the building, the way you talk to me, the way you smile at me, you have to always say something to me. He said the other day you licked your tongue out at me…. he said I noticed that too. I let him talk for about 10 minutes.

Then it was MY turn….

I said first of all boo * with a smile as always*….. I speak to EVERYONE who makes eye contact with me. I said noticed… when I talk to you as I enter the building….. I’m WALKING to the elevator and talking.

#2 I’m 15 years older than you

#3 I’m friendly to everyone.

#4 I call birds, dogs, cats, men, women………. BOO. Its not a personal word I use for people who I LIKE.

#5 When I licked my tongue out at you that day * God is my witness*, I was praying at the same time saying “God… I cant stand him”!!

We both laughed on that last one. It was truly what I was thinking and praying about. Because by him thinking I “liked” him, I was praying to God how much I cant stand him!!! HE always wants to know what I’m cooking, what I’m doing for the day when I leave the building, what’s in MY BAG…. what do I have on as far as perfume, when I’m coming back. UGH!!! Every time I leave the building he has to ask me a personal question and we HATE for people to be in our business too much. I guess he was calling himself “showing interest” in me. LOL LOL

So, now that we had that talk, we’re good friends. I understand him more, and he knows.. BOO BOO * IN MY KEKE WYATT SILLY VOICE*.. IM JUST BEING FRIENDLY. And all we talk about is his fiance and his new baby on the way. See what talking can do and NOT ASSUMING NO ONE WANTS TO MARRY YOU AND BE YOUR WIFE? * SUB*

My name is La’Crease Walker, and this VIRGO approve this message.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

My niece Prom Photos…Crees blog entry

Okay, I am so excited!!! My niece * my sister* Nell had her Prom yesterday and she looked so pretty. Im so proud of her. She didn’t want to go, and its something because many students at my school don’t want to go to their Proms. They don’t understand how excited we as parents and family feel about graduating. This is an exciting time for us. I’m so proud of her.

Nell family and friends * BFF in the black*

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nell prom 4Nell and her BFF

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parents

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raisingurlsprom

britnell

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]tnellna

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jazznell

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Cree’s Ramblings Gerald Levert, @tylerperry and my Students *my blog entry*

blurrymeSo many thoughts go through my mind. Ever since I was a young gurl, I use to always write in my journal. I don’t think anyone in the world have as many as I had back in the day before there were computers. What I learned is that I don’t have to share them all, I have learned to keep something’s to myself. Funny thing is… if people knew what I knew…. I wonder how they would feel…. for the fact that I DIDN’T SHARE IT WITH THEM….especially when I could have at anytime. Its not that I “set out” to be “secretive”, its just that I’m at the time in my life, where I enjoy figuring out things, knowing things, laughing and/or crying to myself. For a person with a huge personality, I realize that its “Okay” to keep something’s to myself. My daddy told me long, long time ago…. “Never empty your head out”. I didn’t get it then…. but I do now.

 

 

As I write, I’m sitting here listening to Gerald Levert. I miss him so much…. it just hurts so bad. When Luther Vandross died, and Barry White my mothers favorite artist. She cried and I really never understood it because “In my mind” they were people she never met. We went to see them both in concert, but I never realize the connection she had with their music and their work…. until Gerald died. When she was going through her own personal issues, the music that they made, helped her get through those times. And so, I finally got it. 1163220814-hr-937

 

 

I was at work when my coworker called my extension. She said LaCrease I have something to tell you, are you sitting down? Her voice didn’t sound right, I remember screaming in the phone… WHAT KI KI WHAT? When she told me, I instantly went numb. I was a walking zombie. She came to get me with about 3 other coworkers and I remember going to the rest room crying like a baby. It was one of those things where when you hear a story you instantly know its true. Now, I’m a person who don’t believe a whole lot of nothing . I side eye everything, lol but this feeling was real. I could hear God in my ear at work saying to me… LaCrease, I let you meet him, take SO MANY photos, spend PERSONAL TIME with him, be invited to his listening party with 50 others. He answered your questions in a LIVE CHAT, SAT FRONT ROW AT HIS VERY LAST CONCERT AT THE FOX IN DETROIT… When I think of that…..tears REFUSE to fall. God has truly comforted me during that time. My LOVE for Gerald goes way back. I feel this same way about Tyler Perry. Nothing better not happen to him before I meet him 🙂 This would hurt me something terrible. tpcollection

 

 

Today I was talking to one of my students. I have to be careful, because I can break somebody down with my words and eye contact, especially about stupid mess… so I have to be careful because these are KIDS. This boy came in the lunch room like he grown, cursing and acting hard. My coworker and I said to him excuse ME… DONT YOU SEE US STANDING HERE , WHILE YOU’RE DOING ALL THAT CURSING? He said I’M GROWN… I can do what I want to do, and say what I want to say. He said I pay my own bills, pay my own rent, buy my own clothes. So. now I’m looking at him real hard walking up on him, THEN HE SAID…. MY MOTHER IS DEAD….. I’M GROWN. He said it with such conviction and he meant it, NOOOOBODY is going to tell him what to do. He looked like he wanted to pull out a gun and show us better than he can tell us.A wave of anger went through him. That’s when I heard God say…. go over and sit with him. I went and sat at the table with just him. I said what’s your name? He said Juan.. I said I’m Ms. Walker. He calmed all the way down when he realized that I wasn’t there to hurt him or be HIS BOSS. I sat with him and looked him in his eyes and said to him. First of all lets start off respecting each other. He said okay and he apologized for his foul mouth. After that we just started talking and after a few minutes, I knew that he had a lot on his plate. It hurts me to my heart that these kids carry so much on them. The parents are either on drugs, dead, or too busy doing them. But there are some good parents out there, let me make that clear. I’m so HAPPY AND SO BLESSED that God gave me this gift to be able to break through to this kids. They really listen to me, even if they don’t get it right now, I tell them to “file it”, That means to keep it in the back of their minds and whenever they need to use that wisdom, to pull it out. LOL Tomorrow I can’t want to see him again, so that I can see how he’s doing. Praise God!!!!stay-positive.jpg

 

 

Okay let me close this up, because I can write all day. Remember to LOVE people, show yourself friendly. Always encourage, uplift and inspire someone. God loves YOU!!

 

 

Be Blessed

Cree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the man in the ELEVATOR

ELEVThank you Jesus for waking me up this morning…. I could be dead this morning, but I’m so glad that I’m in that number, to still be in the race!!!

Men are really something. I study them a LOT…. a whole LOT. I just don’t say anything. I watch the boys at work, men that engage in conversations with others, the stats they post on FB or tweet. I pay attention to everything.

Whenever I walk into the elevator here in my building, there is this guy who likes me, and whenever he’s on there, before I get on, he seems to be hypnotized by my presence. Can’t lie….. I am too. So, I started paying more attention to the men who are alone with me on the elevator. I realized that its the PERSONAL SPACE that creates an atmosphere that allows our Spirits to connect. I can feel it. I can not even explain how I feel when I’m in the elevator with him. He’s FIONE….. TALL TALL TALL, THICK * A POWER HOUSE* pretty smile. And he looks at me with such intensity. He makes me wanna sing the lyrics to “C-Low and Melanie Fiona ” A fool for you. Melanie Fiona – Verse)
OH, So sweet, so deep, so real, oooh weeee, got damn!That’s some powerful stuff Ooh, How you do it? Do do do it[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/fool-for-you-lyrics-melanie-fiona.html ]Keep it coming baby, I can’t seem to get enough What you do, what you say Makes me want to luh luh love you Baby, I don’t even have a choice Ooh and if I did it’d still be you Cuz you’re the man, among these other boys
Sweet sugar, I surrender, white flag, Oh I won’t even put up a fight Ooooh cuz there ain’t a damn thing wrong About this kind of loving Ooh when it feels so right
Call her, write a letter, tell it to my mama And she gon’ tell the world that I love You !Oooooh some people probably say I’m crazy But I don’t mind, being a fool a for you.
I’m a fool, I’m a fool, I’m such a fool

So, this morning, the elevator opened up…..and there he was ALONE. I wanted to wait on the next one going down. I was looking cute and smelling good too. This time he had the power…. LOL usually when I’m on FIRST I have the POWER. I got on and we made small talk, actually we’ve been friends for a while, we text, and everything. He looked at me, I turned my head… cause MY eye contact is ANOTHER STORY. I get real quiet and shy. He can tell. And what’s funny… is that whenever we go to another floor on the way down to pick up someone else, as soon as that door open, OUR SPIRITS spill out unto that floor, and as the person come in, they look at us both THEN walk in. They can feel something from us. Its in the air. I can’t even look this guy in the eye…. and its so cute because he stares at me all the way until we get to the first floor. He DOESNT CARE WHO IS ON THE ELEVATOR WITH US. LOL Its only been 3 months since I moved on my own, and I dunno know if I’m attracting many guys to me, or is it that I’m free, and find myself “looking available”? Something is definitely different about me. I guess I’m just feeling good about myself.

In other news…… I was at work today and got a call from SECURITY in my building. I couldn’t take it, but I called back when I got the chance. Well.. they told me that I apparently I didn’t shut my apartment door good enough, and when someone walked pass, they went to the office and told them. So, they came up walked around to make sure that everything looked okay, and then called me. This is the 3rd time I did this. I have to be careful.

Man, the way the door shut, you have to wait for a “snap” in order to know its closed, no matter how much you check it. The last time this happened about 2 weeks or less ago. The guy who likes me *elevator* was walking pass, and he saw my door open, I WAS LAYING ON THE COUCH SLEEP!!! OH LAWD JESUS…. In my sleep I heard lots of talking, and then I heard the wind blowing or something. Well it woke me up to him looking in my apartment to see why was my door opened. When I saw him, I said CLOSE MY DOOR!!!! I just started screaming. I did apologize to him later. I remember opening the door just before my nap, and hearing someone in the hall way and decided to take my trash out later. I laid down and didn’t close the door all the way. Man, I gotta be careful. Later when me and him talked about that, he told me that he wanted to come in my apartment and have his way with me …..Wow… Men can take something so serious to a woman… and make it ALLLLLL ABOUT THEM. *blank stare*

Tomorrow Story….. Remember we sharing about the gurls who are the LEADERS in school. and me saying that if I can break down the LEADERS OF THE GROUP…. I can get to her crew? Well, not only did I break her down… but now she calls me AUNTIE….. LOL AND BAAAAABY SHE’S A HANDFUL!!!! GOSH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THOUGH. If I was to have another baby, it would be a boy. I cant deal with the gurls like I use too. They be doing the MOST!

Well, I’m about to go to bed…. Be Blessed

Relationship *MATH* by Nelly * love this* TRUTH

LOVE LOVE LOVERapper Nelly sat for a candid interview where he revealed if he ever plans to marry and why industry relationships often fail.

Now that we’ve watched his longterm relationship with Ashanti fizzle out, and seen him spark up something new with actress Tae Heckard, rapper Nelly gave a surprisingly candid interview about his thoughts on marriage and relationship (which might explain the backstory to of the Ashanti breakup).

He says he does want to get married one day, but no one will pressure him into it. Also, he gave an interesting perspective on industry relationships saying you can’t compare them to “normal” couples. He says you can’t compare a relationship between to non-celebrities who’ve been dating for seven years, to that of a celebrity couple who’s been dating for the same amount of time. He explained that if you factor in all the travel and time spent away from home, the celebrity couple might have only spent three years together. It’s a different kind of math. Here are the highlights:

On industry relationships:

I think people see the relationships that industry folk have and they see the time, but there’re not doing the math. If you do the math on that time, you’ll see that it equals out to something totally different.

On public perception of his relationships:

I shy away from public perceptions about my relationships. You can’t tell me what I should be doing in my relationship. I’m not home everyday. I haven’t seen her in two weeks. You see so many celebrities get married and then they’re divorced in a year. You know why? It’s because when they get finally get together….the -ish that you thought was cute, becomes annoying.

On if he will ever get married:

Yea I think so. But nobody is going to force me. Nobody is going to rush me into anything. Marriage is something you should do when you are ready to do it and you know this is everything. I take marriage very seriously. And I only know two ways of marriage. My parents’ marriage didn’t last at all and my grandparents’ marriage lasted 60 years. I’m either gonna go all the way to 60, or I’m not gonna do it.

On being faithful:

I know me. If I have any questions, I’m going to play on that and eventually that may weigh in on the situation.

On if he’s ever been close to marriage:

I don’t think you’ve been close until you’ve been engaged. (He’s never been engaged).

Temptation *stay away from places that will tempt you*

temptation_feat_02-02-57-07_crSo, Tyler Perry movie will be out tomorrow night. I’m there!!! This is the PERFECT movie for ME at this time in my life. * GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE*… THIS WEEKEND!!!

 

As I’ve shared before…..I met this guy who I’m really crazy about, haven’t liked a guy like this in years. It takes a special man to get my attention, and he was the one. He’s honest and up front, and that’s what I LOVE most about him. He told me some really deep things yesterday, that I respect. These are situations that was there before me. This also play apart of me knowing that he is NOT the one for me. Even though we talk a lot, I do not plan to see him anymore in a way that we had before.

 

At my age 45, I refuse to continue to be in someone’s life when I know they are NOT for me. I’m just waiting for the one God has for me. I have never been the type of woman to have a man for the sake of “having a man”. I want to look at him and admire him. His eyes, his lips, his smile, his facial expression, his kindness, his tone of voice, his touch, his SMELL, his kiss…. even the way he wears his hair, and facial hair. They say VIRGOS LOVE hard…. I find this to be true when we’re with people whom we truly love and admire. I can never just “pass” out my LOVE.

 

What I learned is… its okay to move on from my him. When he revealed some very important information to me, I knew he was in my life for a season. Even though he’s trying to stay in my picture, he can’t. I LOVED how I felt when I was around him. How he looked at me, how he kissed me, how he touched me. He says I’m ghetto, when I’m expressing myself because of how expressive I am, and I say “he be saying his stuff” too, because he geeks people up and then brags on himself. So funny!!! We had so much fun laughing and acting silly! I haven’t invited him into my apartment, because I don’t want to put myself in a atmosphere where I would be TEMPTED into having sex. This is so important for women to know and UNDERSTAND. I know its hard, but if you can’t see yourself marrying this man, there is no reason to give him your loving. I’m sorry. So many women are just giving themselves away, so when someone like me come along, men expect for me to be just like the others. No, no, no. I want to always be different than the other women, when a man meets me. Always!  I’ve never been to his place either. I wish I was this strong in my late 20’s. I know what I want, and who I want now that I’m in my 40’s.

I’m going to miss my friend…. I have to move on. We’re on two different pages. But he’ll  always be in my heart.

 

Be Blessed

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