Hey Family!!! I have lots to talk about tonight!! Lets jump right into it.
I’m a thinker, and this is one I’ve been thinking about for a while. Years ago when I was a young gurl before the age of 14, my dad always told ME.. that I had a sister out there. She was his step mothers SISTER. It was a huge secret back in the day because at the time he was young and still at home, and if his dad knew this, he would have kicked him out of the house FOR GOOD. So the gurl had the baby, but it was a secret who the father was until later on in the gurls life when people started to talk.
For me…. I always wanted to meet her. I’m very close with my siblings and to find out that I have a sister out there was like heaven for me. I thought about her all the time. Asking my dad questions he didn’t want to answer sometimes. But one day he got a knock on the door.. and it was HER. Not only did she come for answers, but it was also told to her that her mom was raped by my uncle((( by marriage))) , and that it was a possibility that she was his child. My cousins (( his daughters)) wanted a blood test to know either way, but that never happened and it kinda devastated me.
One day she called and said that she was coming to Detroit to visit her family and that she wanted to meet up with me and my siblings at my dad’s house. We finally had the meet I PRAYED TO GOD FOR. I got to see her face to face, stare at her, hug her and just Thank God for that moment. But when she left, we didn’t communicate much at all, and when my uncle who she felt was her dad.. passed away…. she made it known that she felt HE was her dad. I was good with that part. Because I Thanked God for us meeting. God gave me exactly what I asked for… and that was to meet her face to face. But I expected more. I wanted to have a blood test taken, and if she was my Sister start a relationship with her, my niece and nephews. I feel that I was “short changed” in a way. She decided not to take the test , and I had to be good with that choice she made. Its funny, how God will give you the desires of your heart, but he never reviled the outcome. Thing is, he comforted me during those days after the meet. I cant be mad at him for how things turned out, because he gave me what I asked for… A MEET. There will always be a “what if” in the back of my mind when I see her post on FB. I love her and Thank God all the time that I got a chance to meet her. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Which brings me to Tyler Perry.. another person who I always wanted to meet since I was introduced to Madea. I love me some Tyler Perry and the work that he brings to life on stage and on the screen. But since meeting my sister and having HIGH EXPECTATIONS… I’m good. Not that I don’t want to meet him, I want him to want to meet ME. I’m just not good with expecting something so great to happen (( a friendship with him and my sister as well)) and it not happen. If its God’s will.. it shall be. Other than that I’m Okay. I’m going to sit back and let God do this… I’m out of it. It feels natural that way 🙂 🙂 🙂
I AM La’Crease (( I don’t have to do anything else))
Sitting here enjoying my night off. Just thinking about how God will turn things around in your life. I’m so happy that I wrote down everything that I was going through, so now when I go back and read it, it makes me feel so good that I stayed in the race. I’m living each day with a different mind set. In 2013 I packed up and moved to Georgia. I wanted a new life, wanted to move into an apartment somewhere tucked near water and trees. Sorta like isolate myself. Boy did God have another plan for me. And even though I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ATLANTA…. I’m so glad I moved back home. I’m a family gurl. Raised with both parents in the home, I’m VERY close with my brother and my 2 sisters, not to mention the love I have for my nieces and nephews. Thing is…. I can drive/fly to Atlanta anytime, and stay as long as I want. Wow… no one told me that. LOL Atlanta will always be my second home. But NOTHING beats this DOWNTOWN DETROIT LIVING!!! I’M IN LOVE 🙂
I get to spend lots of time with my parents. When I came home, I found a 7 floor Senior Apartment * they live separately in the same complex* that is directly around the corner from me. Yes! If I leave my apartment right now, I will be at theirs in 2 minutes. I take them * my siblings as well* to the grocery store, to their doctors appointments, to dinner and other outings. They need me and I need them. My daughter lives around the corner from me, and its funny because my brother does too. My street is my brothers SIDE STREET. My daughter street is MY SIDE STREET. Yea we all live downtown and around the corner from each other. Wow God… never seen that in my forecast. We always get together for dinner and birthdays and of course just because days. Family is everything. If you can get alone with your family you can get alone with ANYONE!
I Am … La’Crease
Yesterday was the first day I made a PRIVATE Facebook page sharing my testimony to a selected 100 of when I went moved to Atlanta and back to Detroit. Its a very long Testimony, and I will post some everyday until the end. This should take about 2-3 weeks. Many are being Blessed already. I did NOT want to even write it, but God kept telling me to do it, and for my DISOBEDIENCE… I paid for it. So, it is written! LOL LOL It is done Lord!!!
Just sitting here thinking. Even though I never share my personal private life here…. its funny how I can be in LOVE with one, and REALLY REALLY LIKE another. I just LOVE a take charge man. And I don’t know what is it about me that makes them “get with me”…. like I’m tough or something. Its so funny to me, cause I love a man who talk smack in a loving playful way. And let me clear what I mean by that. Not violent, who will curse me out, belittle me or anything like that. I LOVE to laugh and have a good time. I wonder how many others out there feels this same way about loving one man/woman, and like another.
Anyway…….Today has been a very interesting day. I’m just outdone and speechless. But it is what it is… and <CREE> knows how to keep it moving.
Someone close to me is about to go through a bitter divorce. So sad the stories that’s coming out of it. I’m just numb about a few things, but its all good… Sorry for the rambling… plus I’m sleepy too.
Friday night my 2 sisters and I went out to dinner at Applebees…. we sat for 5 hours talking and catching up on our lives. We were having many conversations but the one that stood out the most was the fact that we’re not jealous when it comes to being in a relationship. For me I was never a jealous person until I met my daughters father. Before him I was never insecure. I knew I was pretty, had a great family, nice personality… but when I met him and having to deal with all the women. It made me a bitter person. It took me years to get over him and over the way the relationship made me feel. Over the years I met some pretty good men, that always made me feel so loved and so wonderful. I never had to deal with jealousy again.
The reason why I’m writing this is to say to my Sisters out there. Know you’re beautiful. Know that you are loved by God no matter how a man make you feel. Know that if you have to be in a relationship that makes you have to always look over your shoulders because of other women, or have to fight or go back and forth…. please don’t waste anytime getting help, or leaving that relationship. What woman in their right mind want to feel jealous and insecure of another woman? Women these days lose themselves in a marriage or in a unmarried relationship. You have to still love your life and enjoy it.
Let me say this too…. Sisters, you have to do your part in making your man feel secure. When you start trying to make him jealous, then one day down the line, it just maybe you….. who gets jealous . That’s a dangerous game to play. Find ways to entertain yourselves while he’s not around. Visit family and friends….. Don’t build your life around him…. that when he wants and needs a break, you find yourself whining and bored. Many women push themselves away from their family and friends when they get married or enter a relationship. Never do that. You never want to look up and have no one….but him. Down the line it makes him uncomfortable, and he’ll have to always find ways to entertain you. That’s not fair. Build your own life, and at the end of the day… go home to the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.
Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God. – Dr. Maya Angelou