Tag: peace

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Fingerpointing You………………………Crees Blog Entry

mestrikeaposewedding

As I sit here  thinking about the post I wrote about Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union.. it takes me back to my own personal relationships about cheating, and lies. The questions I had.

Every man I’ve ever given a second chance to… he cheated again. Sad thing about that.. these men are with different women now, some married and they’re still cheating. Now, there are some faithful men out there that love their wives dearly. And if they’re cheating, as long as his wife doesn’t detect it….. he’s not cheating. LOL I just wish that I could understand the thought process of a man before he thinks about doing it. What options does he weigh, what thoughts goes through his mind concerning her finding out? What would he say to her? What would be his reason that he tells her? Does he sees himself losing everything, or is that even a thought to him? Does he think about his family, or her feelings? What desire goes through his mind when he decide that its what he’s going to do anyway. What thought or feeling goes though his mind once the sexual act is over. And what drives him to do it again and again. Does he feel a sexual disconnection to his mate?

For a long time, I can remember calling over my friends every weekend just to drink and have a pity party. We dogged men coming and going. I use to date my daughters teacher when she was in preschool. Then when I started working there the following year, I found out that he was dating the teachers and the parents. * throws hands up… eyes closed* And didn’t I get into an argument with one of the ladies at the school, almost lost my job over this man? I cut dissed him ON SPOT. I made sure I went to work looking good everyday. I made him “SEXUALLY SICK” when ever he saw me. He couldn’t even function with me around. I had his mind gone. I can’t go for that type of behavior anymore. I LOVE ME. He knew he couldn’t tie my shoe if it was coming loose.

But you know…… I had to put away childish things. I couldn’t go on being angry with men because I chose cheaters. I realized that I was drawing these types of men to me. I had to change the way I looked at my relationships. I had to say NO… to the ones who didn’t fit into what I was looking for. So many times I got into relationships “just because they liked me”. These days….. I chose friendships and relationships wisely. They must have a relationship with God, they must be a person who goes to God before any family member and a friend.

Here is a song that I use to listen to when I was going through those relationships…. I love the words.. so honest and to the point.

Fonz
I don’t know what you goin thru lately
But you stressin it and it’s drivin me crazy
You wont even make love to me lately
Somebody told you they was havin my baby

Vee
I heard it all I was getting my nails done
She was braggin how your record when platinum
You were crushin on a leather couch
You were out there trickin with that chick all up in my house

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Vee
She knew it all even talked about your tattoo
Tell me how you gonna say it wasn’t bout you (wasn’t me)
Saying how you like to suck on toes
She knew all the things that you know that only I should know

Fonz
You played the role I was workin in the studio
Getting paid while you gave up the botty yo
Another brotha is getting all my time
You was out there trickin when I thought that shit was all mine all mine

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you
Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Fonz: Your thru with me
Vee: Im thru with you
Fonz: You lied to me
Vee: Never lied to you
Fonz: Stop blamin me
Vee: Im blamin you
Fonz: Stop gamin me
Vee: Whos gamin who
Fonz: So you say your thru with me
Vee: Im thru with you
Fonz: You lied to me
Vee: Never lied to you
Both: Better ask yourself if don’t matter baby why keep goin on

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you
Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Fonz: can’t work with you lying and creepin babe
Vee: I can’t work I can’t deal with your cheatin and leavin babe(I can’t deal)
Fonz: can’t be a fool for lovin babe
Vee: Save the drama im about to bounce babe
Cant work with you lying and creepin babe
Vee: I can’t work I can’t deal with your cheatin and leavin babe(I can’t deal)
Fonz: can’t be a fool for lovin babe
Vee: Save the drama im about to bounce babe

Did you sleep with her
Did you sleep with him
He works at my job
She was just a friend
Saw you at the club
Well I saw you too
Fingerpointing me
Fingerpointing you

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Question……………….Crees Blog Entry

creecree

Someone on my FB page ask this question: Have you ever asked yourself; “Am I being a good role model to those whom admire me?” That’s a question everyone should ask themselves. Before I post anything on FB or Twitter, I ask myself.. what message will they get, am I angry right now, will I please God? I admit I can be quite VERBAL on Twitter, and I noticed that and for now on… I will take a few minutes to regroup myself from posting things that are done out MY EMOTIONS. People are paying attention to what you post. Whatever is in your post… it first came out of your heart.

I learned that if I’m angry about something, If I just give myself about 20 minutes to calm down… then what I was going to post I WONT EVEN POST ANYMORE. I LOVE that about God. But if you want to be seen, heard, or even felt, your EMOTIONS will override God’s voice, and your stats will always be full of ANGER AND RAGE, UNNECESSARY BRAGGING, AND IGNORANT CONVERSATIONS. If you don’t believe me….. scroll down and check your last 10 stats. Remember people are on FB for either one or two things, to be Spiritually Fed, or to be Nosey. Just know we ALL have BAD days.. we ALL go through… we ALL get mad and angry….. but the person who can control their EMOTIONS are the ones who are most ADMIRED.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

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God wants me to know…….Crees Blog Entry

ilovecreeToday, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

you need to maintain a balance between your needs and others’ needs.

Yes, it’s not an easy balance to keep, but try you must. Give too much, drain yourself, and there is nothing left only bitter space. Give too little, become a cork, and you block the flow of God’s love through you. Keep on balancing.

 

This is the truth. I am truly balancing. It was hard for me in the beginning but I’m finding it FUN to do things for myself. I am NOT GOD…..just like I have to go to him….. I will be directing all others to do the same. Oh yes….. there will be CHANGES.

 

This song is for ME…

 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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This too…….Crees Blog Entry

Whenever I’m going through my own personal thing… I go through many different emotions in a day. I have learned to use that time alone to cry, pray and just think. I do not like to share those emotions because I always go to bed hopeful. This too, shall pass.

 
Be Blessed

 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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In 2013….. I Learned…….Crees Blog Entry

stankfacecreeThis year has been one I will never forget. Living alone with yourself…. will teach you a lot of things. The reason why I decided to share mines is because…. I believe that we all can take inventory of our lives… and when we do… we just may learn something.
I learned that I LOVE PRANKS. Even though I would never prank anyone. I realize that I go to youtube when I need to laugh, and when I need to smile just before going to bed. I’ve subscribed to several PRANK sites…. this is something that I realized I did. Wow. I asked myself… what is it that you get out of it? I LOVE to see people’s reaction. I love FACIAL EXPRESSIONS… they’re so funny to me.
I learned that its okay to enjoy being alone. I learned that I’m not the kind of person who calls up people and tell them my problems. I let God work things out, and that way I’m able to tell the story in TRUTH and in FULL. when I’m ready.
I learned that I have control of things that Angers me. For example, when the drive thru lady rolled her eyes so hard at me, all I could see is the white part in her eyes when I asked her for ketchup. I learned this year that I have total control of how I will react to ANY SITUATION, and that I was the one who really had the POWER. I always thought I had POWER AND CONTROL when I “told her off”…. but this year I LEARNED that the one who can laugh through it all…. is the one who has the POWER and SELF CONTROL.*pops my collar*
I learned that I don’t have to be “CONNECTED” to anyone. MEANING… if I’m cool with 2 people and they have issues with each other….. THATS THEIR PROBLEM TO WORK OUT!!!!! I’m free from DRAMA with my own SISTERS… I consider myself free from DRAMA with ANYBODY ELSE. I will not engage in ANY conversations pertaining to the other… PERIOD… AT ALL. I am my own person, I do what I want to do, I’m not connected to anyone. I do my own thang.
I learned this year… that I have always been the listener. My life has changed so much this year… sometimes I didn’t know if I was coming or going. In being the listener all the time….. I realized this year I didn’t have a listener for myself. Even though I’m good with that….. I realized and LEARNED that when I let all my talkers…..talk…. that I didn’t make them listeners. LOL But God had my back. And its all good.
I learned this year that my dad is who he is and that’s FINAL. I learned that whenever he got mad at me, that I was always afraid that he would be mad for a long time, and that’s why I always made up with him first. I went over 3 months before calling him * he had no plans to call me first* that was my first time going that long. I learned that its OKAY… that this is who HE is….. and for me to Boss Up… and accept it. I learned this year, that he can go months even years without talking to me.
I learned this year that I spent a lot of time holding people’s hand…. too long. I refuse to go any longer putting band-aids, and green rubbing alcohol on folks…. they gotta go to God.. JUST LIKE ME. I learned that I spend TOO MUCH TIME…. ( it’s okay to spend some time) on folks who don’t want to “get it”. I can’t use extra energy for that any more. I have to attend to me. I learned that I have neglected myself in so many ways. Those days are over.. and brighter days are coming.
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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People will show you who they are…….Crees Blog Entry

blueskiesIts been almost a whole year since I moved into my apartment. My life has changed so much. I pray more and talk to God everyday around the 5 o clock am hour. I’m more stronger as a person. I listen more, and I pay attention to everything. I love to learn people. And since I work with teens, I pay attention to their behavior, and more importantly ADULTS.

I was listening to Steve Harvey one day and was so upset the way he was rushing, and fast talking his callers. The way he talks to LISTENERS is so disrespectful. But when a celebrity calls in… he talks to them as if they can find out secrets about him and expose them. He talked to them with respect and as a person on HIS level. One day it was so bad… I had to turn the station.. it killed me to hear him talk to another person in that way. Which takes me to another situation. I’m always the one who likes to defend a person, but now I sit back and pay attention to what is being said…. I don’t open my mouth. And I always find out the person who I’m always defending… is the one who is “doing the most”. When God told me that he was God and I didn’t have to defend anybody anymore….. I rest. I just sit back and watch it go down. Legs crossed…. arms folded. And in THAT ORDER.

People will show you who they are. They will mistreat you * in their own little way*, while trying their best to be up in somebody else face… who they feel is more “influential ” than THEMselves. I’m so glad I am who I am. A person of influence… with NOTHING TO PROVE IN THIS WORLD.. TO OTHERS, FOLKS AT MY JOB, TO MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS. I AM FREE.

I just hate when people treat others differently just because they feel that they’re not on their level. It could be success, or pay scale, living arrangements, or anything. People pick debates just to not hold a conversation with them. They want to purposely feel “some kinda” way for you, just so that they don’t have to be bothered. But its all good…. BECAUSE I see the fall that’s ahead…..* and I have no POWER to stop it*
Be Blessed

 Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Almost time for me to move on? …..Cree’s Blog Entry

angrycustomersI love working with Teens
But this older lady I’m working with…..is killing my Spirits
She’s not a team player… and she makes my job harder
She taught me the ropes… now I can’t stand the site of her… I really wish she would quit…. SHE HAS NO CONNECTION TO THE TEENS OR ANYONE ELSE
She’s always in competition with me
Why did I ignore it so long?
Maybe I wanted to ignore it… who am I?
Well, when I think about it….
The ASST principal is always coming to me for answers
she knows I love my job, she can see it on my face, she looks to me for leadership and knowledge of my job
While my coworker looks at me like “who is she… I was here first”?

The ladies who work in the kitchen tells me ” Sunshine you don’t have to pay for anything… just tell me what you want”
While my coworker wants everything FREE… I always offer to pay for mines… and this is why they want to give it to me… they don’t have to do anything for me
At first she parked in the back.. on a rise so that people can see her “big truck”
But when I said I like to park in the front so I can keep an eye on my van… NOW SHE PARKS IN MY SPOT ***UGH***
When she sees my on my phone, she says her AARP phone is just right for her, then later she signs a contract for a phone …..
Last week I went to the gas station to buy snacks for the kitchen ladies and my 2 coworkers * she’s one of then. I paid attention to everything they all eat and bought them.
They were happy and surprised… but little do they know… I do this for everyone.
Today my coworker * the older lady* went out and bought gifts for one of the ladies… * like I did” trying to compete with me… I laughed
She’s a bragger… brags about everything.. I feel bad for her.
I dont/wont….. it kills her when she finds out things about me that I NEVER MENTIONED OR BRAGGED ABOUT… HAHAHAHA
She feels UPSTAGED
Being in her presence is so uncomfortable…. I respect her… but its something about me she can’t STAND
We had a big blow up last week, and I told her… LISTEN YOU OWN SEVERAL BUSINESS, AND YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT WHO YOU FIRED, WHAT YOU HAVE, WHAT YOU OWN.. I SAID BUT MEEEEEEEE. I DON’T WORK FOR YOU, I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR EMPLOYEES, AND YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME ANY KIND OF WAY…… Oh I thought she was going to KILL me with the high pitch of her voice of RAGE.
She’s so JEALOUS of me…..while she’s BLESSED with MONEY and PROPERTY… I’m BLESSED WITH PERSONALITY, LOVE, PEACE, KINDNESS, EMPATHY, COMPASSION, LEADERSHIP SKILLS, and many more.
I didn’t sign up for ADULTS…. I signed up for the TEENS
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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God wants me to know…..Crees Blog Entry

creewriteToday, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

you are to let grace flow freely from your heart.

Think back over the last few days, – how many times have you felt appreciation towards another? How many times have you thought about another: ‘what a lovely smile’, or ‘she is so nice’, or ‘such a kind man’, or any of a myriad of other appreciative thoughts. Did you express them? Did you come up to her and say: ‘you are so nice’? And why not? Why did you stop divine grace from flowing freely from your heart? Do you want to change the world to the better? This is it, this is how you start.

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My Sister…..Cree’s Blog Entry

sis latrTonight I was watching Oprah’s “Where are they now” as she recapped the show where her Sister Patricia realized that they were sisters, it just bought me to tears. I had seen the original episode, and also this same “Where are they now” but this one tore me up. It reminds me so much of the story about my Sister. I know I keep writing on this subject, but I had known that she was out there somewhere since I was a young gurl. And to have her on my FB page and to see her post keeps her close to my heart.

When I saw tonight how the niece and Patricia took a blood test to determine if they were family, really made me think closer about doing this when ever my Sister * I believe we are* comes back to Detroit. I cannot stop thinking about this, and tonight I just cried and cried. My grand dad * my dad’s father* was married to her Aunt Lucy…. who I use to spend lots of time together when I was a kid. I loved my Grandma Lucy * passed away a few years ago*…. who was also her FAVORITE AUNT. And all the while my dad knew where she was, and how to contact her, but since it was a big secret in the family that she was his daughter… he didn’t. How all this came about….. one day.. my Sister knocked on my dad’s door and demanded answers. Someone in her family started talking and giving my sister answers. All while growing up she looked different than her other sisters, she knew something was wrong. All it takes is one family member who knows the truth, to spark the fire. I was the first person my dad called when my Sister left his apartment that day, because he knew I would find out, and I was the one he talked about her the most with.

As I was watching Oprah… I watched how happy Patricia was JUST TO KNOW her family members. It didn’t matter that Oprah is/was famous. I’m the oldest of the 4 of us from my mom and dad… but she’s older than me. So I see her as a “Big Sister”..someone I had to be to my siblings. I’m excited about that. I can see true LOVE in her eyes, in her mannerism, the way she looks at Oprah. She is very happy to have a Big Sister. I cried for her happiness. And as for Oprah’s mom, I hope that she can move on with her guilt, because really it doesn’t matter about the past anymore. Its okay that Patricia was given up for an adoption, because everyone is going through a healing process, and all that matters is the fact that….they’re all together now. See that’s the part my dad don’t get. He doesn’t want anyone to ask questions. Well.. I’m sorry dad you have daughters that ask questions. We aren’t mad or angry with you for what happened when you were a teenager. We don’t care, all my sister want is to be accepted. Give her that.

My Sister is now running for a seat in the US Senate. I am so proud of her. As for me…. I just want to kiss her, hug her, look at her, talk to her, listen to all of her stories, and even share some. My dad still haven’t called me * almost 3 months*, and I have no desire to talk to him. I don’t like the way he is handling things with my Sister because of his fears. And since he knows how I feel, in his mind… its easier for him to find something petty to be mad at me about. Growing up when he did it …. it bothered me… now….I’m keeping it moving.

Let me go to bed…..more this week.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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I want to meet my Sister…..*tears* Cree’s Blog Entry

my sisterI want to meet my sister so bad ( in above photo)…. She use to live here and I hate that I wasn’t persistent in meeting her when she was here in Detroit. I go to her FB page all the time… we favor so much. We talk on the phone, but we’ve never met.My dad had her before my mom and dad married. But the way her mom and my dad got together was sneaky as far as how their families  connected… and for years after years it was a secret to her and to us. My dad is so stubborn and wont take a blood test to give her/us CLOSURE. She aint missing nothing * with him*… yeah I said it. But me and my siblings want to meet her, and hug her and LOVE HER.
My dad lives one min from me and we haven’t spoken in almost 2 months. I just don’t get that.

My daughter is so mad at him because he’s so stubborn she told him that she’s not going to answer his calls because of the way he treats his daughters. But I have a sister out there who wants to be around him….. * throws hands in the air* SMH FOR WHAT? I’m so happy that I’m not stubborn. That kinda life keeps you in bondage. I’m so happy that me and my daughter are very close. Praise God…. and I will communicate, do flips and all sorts of things to keep it that way. My dad has always been this way, he use to go months and months without talking to his brother when we were coming up and all living at home. I never paid it any attention…. never knowing that one day it would be me. SMH. It pisses me off sooooo soooooooo so bad that he’s like this. How you not talk to your BROTHER FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS … then when your kids get older, you do them the same way. We all grew up in the same house, don’t you long to hear my voice, my laughter, my smile, my silly ness…. don’t you miss that? Wow… Well let me say this….. my dad has done me/us like this all of our lives, and for once in my life….. I’m so over his behavior. Once so much time has passed…. it doesn’t even bother me. He had issues with his mom. she sold him to his dad in court for $1.00 and I think he hasn’t gotten over that. If I didn’t have God in my life so deep….. I would be some where crying and depressed. He was the very one who taught me, my sisters and brother to be close…. and if NOTHINGGGGGGG else come out of this as God chose him to be my dad…. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. THANK YOU LORD FOR HANDPICKING THEM FOR ME!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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