DEEP ROOTED ISSUES….. *Cree’s Blog*

I guess today was a day of Blessings…. done another way by God. It was only when I sat down today at work at the Credit Card booth, I was able to be quiet and see the whole picture in a BLESSING light.

I walked into work this morning 9 am. Everyday, as I’m walking through the front end to get to the back to punch the clock. I’ll walk pass the front registers tap on the bag holder and speak to the cashier…….. even if they have a customer I’ll say…….. Good Morning… Ms. Shirley and to the customer, I’ll go to the next register and say Good Morning Ms. Chris.. and also to the customer with a smile…. I’ll go all around the front and for the back registers…. I’ll just call out their names * the cashiers* and say Good Morning. EVERYDAY. Now, I’m the kinda person who “stays in my own lane” if you don’t do that……… THAT’S FINE WITH CREE…. OKAY COOL.,…. but as for ME this is who I am……even before WALMART. I try to make every encounter PERSONAL. First of all, its a ATMOSPHERE SETTER…. 2nd.. it lets people know I come in PEACE…. 3rd… ITS FREE AND YOU DON’T PAY TAXES ON SAYING GOOD MORNING OR HELLO. 🙂


SO……………..*SIGH* as I’m making my rounds. I CAME to this one lady who is about my age………..white . I say Good Morning Ms. *her name*. She didn’t speak….. * she always half speak* but this time, I said…I said Hello Ms. *her name*, she says…….. I’m quiet today… and turned her head. I said you’re quiet today? I says to her, so you can’t speak… she says well… I’m being quiet today. I looked at her like a parent to a 6 year old, and I said to her….. in my DIRECT EYE CONTACT…  EYE SQUINTING…… LOWEST TO THE POINT ….VOICE …. you mean to tell me that you can’t say Good Morning because you’re being quiet? Then she says … Good Morning LaCrease………. there’s a lot on my mind. I said okay…. everybody IN HERE has A LOT ON THEIR MINDS. I guess the way I stepped to her, made her just say it. I was ticked off and I’ll tell you why.

About 6 months ago, this SAME lady came to our store, she was new. I welcomed her, and everything. She’s a very quiet woman, very STONED FACED, and VERY COLD looking. All day everyday she shows NO EMOTION…. she’s a woe is me person, and people are fed up with it. Except me…. I’m always trying to talk to her and be her friend seeing that she looks at me as a “popular person”. But she always wants to play the victim. I can’t feel her on that. I saw this in her, but by me being a Christian…. I can see and understand that she has DEEP ROOTED ISSUES. I love talking to people like her, because usually I can help them come to see WHATS REALLY BOTHERING THEM..But the next person…… they aint trying to hear or understand where she’s coming from. But I’m different. One day she was telling me some very DEEP DEEP DEEP things about her, that I WILL NEVER IN MY LIFE AS LONG AS I LIVE SHARE WITH ANYONE. I felt then she knew that I would be a person she could trust. So, I know first hand how deep her issues go. I also knew that one day she would turn on me too, she doesn’t mean to be this way…. but at the same time she doesn’t know any other way. And even though in all the months she has worked there,  besides that talk….we have never said 4 words to each other in a WHOLE DAY.

So, going back to when I spoke to her as I always do everyday… after we had that small back and forth… I went to punch in. I admit walking to the time clock, it did kinda bother me. It bothered me because I was the person she talked deeply with one day, and here she is doing me like she did the others. So, after I punched in she came to me, and said can I talk to you? I said Yes. She says to me… YOU HURT MY FEELINGS….. I SAID NOOOOOO YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!!!!!! She said you said all of that to me in front of those people, I said you DIDN’T SPEAK TO ME IN FRONT OF THOSE SAME PEOPLE….*they didn’t even hear it… I asked them*. I said .. I speak to everyone when I come in everyday to work, she says I know LaCrease…. I’ve spoken back to you in the PAST as well. I said OKAY AND………TODAY IS A NEW DAY MS *HER NAME*.. Then she said…. there’s a lot on my mind…and I said….. and there’s a lot on EVERYBODY’S mind, but you still can speak to me and people around you. I said we’re in customer service, we HAVE TO BE FRIENDLY… She said I know I’m not friendly, and I’ve asked to be moved to another area, but in the meantime I’m working on being a people person.  I asked her… well is this the job for you?

The point I’m making in this BLOG is this. We all go through something, have things on our minds, have issues, have bills to pay, have things to do. WE ALL DO! But there is NO DEDUCTION FROM YOUR CHECK A WEEK OR BIWEEKLY when you SPEAK TO FOLKS. Stop with that WOE IS ME MENTALITY. I cry and have feelings for a lot of things and issues people go through… but that WOE IS ME……….. I WILLL NEVERRRRRRRR GIVE ATTENTION TO. NEVERRR EVER. People like her….., walk around stone faced, looking for someone to “baby their issues” those people walk into a room and bring SHADE with them. No light at all lives in them. Some enjoy this type of behavior. Because its always someone there to empathize / sympathize with them. I’m not her.

She came to me to tell me that “I hurt her feelings”, and when I mirrored it back to her, she was shocked. LOL She told me that I was one of the “popular gurls” and that she’s quiet. Okay andddddd what does that have to do with SPEAKING TO SOMEONE? But see I know she said that in a way as if to say….. you’re strong, and I’m not so strong… so if I say YOU HURT MY FEELINGS, then the story can stay on her and how hurt she was. WRONG PERSON to do that with, because even though she did hurt my feelings, I had to let her know she did, then I went on to express how I felt. This caused her to walk away NOT being the victim….. but the person who CAUSED THE HURT. She didn’t like that one bit.

WOW RIGHT? Well, these are the people I love to help to see this pattern of themselves. She never smiles, she never speaks, she gets so many customer complaints that if she gets in trouble one more time, she’s fired. Let me tell you how this saddens me. She will leave this job eventually……. go to another job and adopt this same behavior. She needs to learn and understand that she has to get help concerning the things that happened in her life. This is NOT HER FAULT… and certainly NOT EVERYONE WHO SHE COMES IN CONTACT WITH. She carries this hurt with her, you can see each one of them on her face. She gets by in life by creating an atmosphere and making herself the center of it. She does this by saying how she’s been hurt. But HER REAL issue is still unsolved. I feel so bad for her, because she feels that this is the life she’s dealt and instead of taking that to heart, she uses it to create situations that allows herself to be the victim…. instead of using it to empower herself.

Will I speak to her tomorrow? YES YES YES YES YES, Because I KNOW…. that I’m not her REAL issue…. she’s simply in her own way.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

“Im telling you the truth” * ppl are a trip*

Hey

 Its been a minute, been busy. We had a ball feeding the homeless this year. Our goal was 75 but we had enough food to feed 86 people. They were so grateful, and Thankful. Which leads me to this vent……. I need to let out.

 

 I work with the public, money toting, gotta hurry up, ungrateful and selfish me, me, me, me people. They make me sick!!! I’ve always said that I rather work with homeless, old people, children, and animals any day of the week, than to be around, selfish, greedy, “it’s all about me” adults. People my age and under….. PISS ME OFF!!! I see all kinds of people, deal with all kinds of spirits everyday. I have the personality to deal with them, I don’t take things to heart unless its STUPID and the person seem to not learn anything from the experience. Just today I was working the 20 items or less register with another gurl. There is only ONE line, but both registers are open. Now this lady sees the line, but she waltz her azz up to the second counter, and I say to her in a very, very, nice tone of voice, showing all my teeth, being as friendly as I am daily….  ” Sorry maam, its only one line”. She turns looks to me (mean) and back up. But the people that’s standing there to get waited on LOOKED AT HER like they will bite her head off, spit it out, and slap her back home IF she didn’t get in the back of the line…….. but she gives ME the evil eye.???????? Yeahhhh okay lady, you BETTA BE GLAD IM WORKING and I HAVE GOD IN MY LIFE. I can see the fire in her eyes. She gets back get in line, and then when the cashier says ‘NEXT” she turns her smart azz to me and says” told you I was next”. Now, she done made me mad, cause she missed the whole point! It went right over her head. In my mind I said ” Of course YOURE NEXT *doe- doe bird* but you still have people in front of YOU, the point of one line is to keep order, and not have 2 lines running together which cause confusion. People hate to be wrong, especially GROWN PEOPLE!!! Then they say…. “well I didn’t know”. How the hell you don’t know….. when you got 6 people standing in line, why do you think it’s that easy to just walk up to the register and get rung up? To do that…. you are saying in “unspoken works” that these people are STUPID to be standing, when there is NO line over there. Are you serious? So, all these people are standing for free? But I bet she won’t do that in a BANK. Everybody knows its one line at a bank, if you waltz yourself up in the bank and walk up to the teller and you SEE it’s a line, you’re going to get RIPPED APART!!! Now try that!

Why do we live in a “its all about me” world? Why people can’t look out for others? Why are our minds so one track, that all we see is ME, ME ,ME when its time to get out of a grocery store, driving, in restaurants, or even out in public?  I have anger issues about  SOME people and how stupid they act. I do, and I know I need prayer in this area. There are a lot of things I let go, but somethings has got to be addressed.

 

I’m a very sweet person. It took hard work to get where I am today. The person I am didn’t just happen over night. I was angry, bitter, revengeful, hateful, honoree, everything you name. When I found God, I had to start loving myself, then others. It took a whole lot, but I’m here and I wont change that for anything. In my life I find that I am highly favored. It’s so deep that it amazes me sometimes how God works on my behalf. Its like now, I expect it. I’m always excited, and very grateful about every little thing. I also find that being an honest person, and a person who always tell the truth-no-matter how much it hurts, get me very far in this life. I smile, and laugh, try to uplift people and encourage them DAILY. I stop people on the streets and IN MY LINE  at work to ask them ‘ Do you believe in God” How is your prayer life?Neisha knows that when I leave the house with her, that she’s going to see me talking to everybody. She’s soooooo use to it. LOL Thats who I am. I even beg people to begin a prayer life with God, and to include him in their life. It’s very rare that I’m in a bad mood. I can’t function like that. Having attitudes and being mean to people. Thats dysfunctional to me.Which  brings me to this topic. I find that  some people try to take my kindness for weakness. It bothers me, because they seem to want me to be mean, because they rarely see it. When it comes to taking care of business, I’m a whole different person. And the words I use, are straight to the point ACTION WORDS. I want action when I’m taking care of business. I’m not talking to ANYONE, I want to talk to the person who can make decisions and make things happen for me, or whatever I’m involved in. When I do that, people mistaken it for an attitude. I don’t have an attitude. Its like give LaCrease what she wants, because it will get very UGLY if she doesn’t get her way. LOL Wow. Just because I’m not smiling, and showing all my teeth this time, I gotta attitude. I don’t play with people in authority ( where it concerns me) , I don’t keep them in my circle of personal friends, I don’t gossip, I’m friendly with everyone at work, but only 2 are my good friends. I call everyone MR. AND MS when I call them or refer to them. ALWAYS….even the gurls who are younger than me. I don’t feel right calling people by their first names. Thats just how I am. Now, I HAVE to do this. I have too. Because everyone knows I’m a respectable person, and so when it comes down to taking care of business with people in authority, they know I DO NOT BS. 

 

One day, I had to go to management about a date that I needed off. The rule is, if you find someone to work your day, management would take your name off the schedule, and add that other person to it. Both people have to sign their names on paper and agree to it. Okay, normally if my upfront manager is there, that person would do it, but if not you can go to another member of management to get it done. Well, this one day my manager wasnt there and I  found someone to cover my hours. This manager didn’t want to do it. I looked this person in the eye and said why? They said because they were busy, and they didn’t want to “touch” the schedule.This person thought I was the same smiley, “everythings gonna be alright LaCrease,”….. but I wasn’t. Okay, my thing is this. If YOU have the AUTHORITY to change it, then DON’T tell me you’re busy. Because now you’ve made me feel that MY SITUATION is unimportant. And when I go above your head, I’m going to tell that person just what you said about MY ISSUE. At first this person tried to make me feel that it can’t be done. So, I asked them……….. are you saying it’s AGAINST COMPANY POLICY… or is it that you don’t want to do it? Thats when they said they were busy. I said OKAY….. here’s the deal. I said, I NEED this done TODAY. I need to speak with someone who can make it happen. I said I understand that you’re busy, and that’s fine. But I need to speak with someone who can make DECISIONS. The eye contact I gave this person was so direct and probably intimidating. This person went on and did it themselves. And to this day I do not play, laugh and smile with managers. Because when its time to take care of business, your outcome with  THE BUSINESS YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, is going to come down to how you conduct yourself on a regular basis. Then people say to me, well what did you do to get your way? I said… I don’t run behind the managers  365 days of the year. Just because a manager is friendly and talk to you, does not mean they are your “friends”. They are there on business, and they want their jobs just like you. The very  ones who run behind  them, will be the ones they tell NO first!

 

It’s all in the way you talk to people. Your presentation. Neisha tell me all the time, ma you always get your way. Gurl, I have favor from God! If its do able………. I want it done. I’m not bossy, I just know how to talk to people. I respect people. I don’t like to play games. Come at me straight forward, be honest. Quit taking my kindness for weakness, KNOW and UNDERSTAND my mentality. I RAISED a LAWYER…… CRIMINAL LAWYER @ that.  In my house it was truth (God) and honesty. Let me be nice, let me smile, let me be friendly. Let me enjoy where I came till now. When I take care of business, let me be ME.  So what I get results and have Favor…..it all comes FROM GOD.

 

My name is La’Crease J. Walker and I approve this message.

 

My WOW Testimony!!!

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
       and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 11 Do not cast me from your presence
       or take your Holy Spirit from me.

 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
       and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
       and sinners will turn back to you.

Psalms 51:10-13

 

Lord, Thank you for allowing me to seeing another day!!! I am truly grateful.  Thank you!!

 

Today me and my best friend was on the phone, and I’m listening to her talk about the “Cree’s Feeding the Homeless” list I sent her, and all of a sudden her mind started drifting. LOL We both do the same thing. We try to do too many things at one time. Then my mind end up being all over the place. But I notice that when I sit down and write out a list of things to do that day……. I complete everything on the list it becomes a challenge for me. But when I just go on as “usual”, I’m doing 5-6 things at one time….. and ask me how many I finish when I do that? How bout 1 or 2. SHM@ myself. LOL Wow. LOL

 

 I have to find the time to write my Testimony in email…………. dang why havent I done that? Well…… I did start on it. LOL Even though I can’t share it, I need it for myself. It’s a WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!! LOL

 

 

 GOOD NIGHT YALL KNOW IM SLEEPY, IM GETTING CRAZY. LOL BE BLESSED! 

 

Wow, Respect, and a Whooping!

Hey,

Today was a good day. Got up early this morning, as I’m off every Tuesday and started writing out the things that I need to take care of, starting today. My room was off the CHAIN!!! They say Virgo’s are neat freaks, well, they aint talking about me!! LOL I know where all my things are in my room, but I am nowhere near neat like “they say”. I cleaned up the bathroom, and wanted to sleep till 12 ish, but I didn’t. I put on me some clothes and ran some errands, grocery store stuff like that. Came home and tackled this room. Sometimes I wonder about myself. I was cleaning out my closet and I pulled out this huge bag that was hiding in the back. I was like “dang what’s this”? I sat down, cause the bag was heavy. I looked inside and it was 4 night gowns that I had bought Neisha for LAST CHRISTMAS!!! LOL I outta take a photo of these. I don’t know how I forgot to give them to her. I was like Neisha come heeeeeeeeeeeeere. She came running down stairs and I was like here boo! LOL She said where did these come from? I told her outta my closet, I had them for you last Christmas!!! We laughed. They came right on time too, because its freezing here in Detroit.

 

 

I want to take a moment to talk about some of these teens. It’s so sad how disrespectful they are. Cursing in front of grown people, having no respect at all. The bible tells us about these times and how they MUST pass in order for the world to come to an end. I know when I’m around others, before I speak I feel what to say, I feel if a curse word is about to come out when I’m angry about something. You can’t feel it and then ignore it. I say Yes, maam and No maan and if I know their names I will say Ms. Diane, or Mr. Eugene. My mouth won’t even let me say………. Oh Hi Nadine. I wouldn’t even be able to finish the conversation out trying to correct myself. Even to the young gurls at work, I’ll say Heyyyy Ms. Ashley. Neisha is the same way. She says Yes and No, Maam and Sir. Im on my Raisingurls.

 

 

 

Just a day ago my Raisingurl mother called me and told me that ( her daughter) got kicked out of school because the hall guard told her to put on her UNIFORM ( mandatory for them all) shirt, she curses him out and tells him, she wasnt going to wear it, because she wanted to wear the shirt with her nephew on it. ( Crickets) Yea, the phone got quiet. I said put her on the phone. I said gurl why did you curse out that hall guard? I said you had no business with your nephew shirt at school period!!! I said, your momma goes to work everyday and come straight home. I said she is not on drugs, she don’t smoke, she work hard, you live in a very nice house in a nice neighborhood and you do her like this? I said why do you keep getting kicked out of school? She likes to do what she wants to do. And the gurl is drop dead beautiful!!! I said to her, you are beautiful, why do you make gurls talk about you more than they were going to do anyway? I said you are so pretty that you’re going to have a problem out of jealous ppl anyway, then you have a funky attitude, and love to fight, which makes ppl feel they have all the right to say things about you when it’s really about your beauty. I told her that if she keep doing this, she will watch all her friends walk across the stage, and she will be at home……….wishing she had listen to someone. So, then I ask to speak back to her mom, she ask me how to delete a FB page, because she wanted her daughter off it. We figured it out, don’t you know she called me TODAY, and said that her daughter went and got her another one? *Blank Stare for 1,000 minutes. I said you mean to tell me, that you deleted her page, and she went back and got another one TODAY? I said gurl what did you do and say? She said nothing, I’m about to deleted this one. I said,so you’re just going to keep deleting pages cause you scared you might jump on her and beat her badly. I said gurllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, beat dat aZZ! Gurl, you are letting her know that you are ready to play the delete game everyday. I said put some fiyah to that butt! After about 3 minutes. I had to go. I can’t even listen to a weak conversation like that. Cant even do it. I don’t understand how your  daughter become the “plant manager” around YO house. See her daughter will be 16 this year and when they get a certain age, it’s too late to go back and whoop them., she’s too far gone. I told my friend, gurllllllllllllllllll  when that phone call came in, I would left in the middle of a transaction to get to that butt!!! Gurl Bye!!!!  Aint nothing more important than that moment to jump in your car and “APPEAR” in that classroom. Then my coworker go say, “I AINT MISSING ME MONEY CAUSE SHE ACTING UP” (blank stare and quietness). I told her thats the reason why you are having problems is because you won’t boss her up on her mess. It’s not about taking the phone, being on a punishment and staying in the room, all the time…. put some GAS (heat) to dat AZZ!!! I wish she would let me go up there ONE TIME, I would set her classroom off. Please ……I don’t play like that.

 

 

Well, Im off to bed!! This is the song I’m feeling right now! Good Night Cree

 

 

 

 

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