The Seven Deadly Dating Sins
                           #5
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Savior Syndrome: Shawna and Rasheed met at the hosptial where they were both employed. Rasheed was deeply scarred by his troubled childhood, and Shawna, who has always been attracted to the down-and-out type, figured if she could save him, he would be available to love her. So she became Rasheed’s girl-friend-therapist. And like others before him, Rasheed ended up ditching her because all patients leave their nurses when they get better.
What Went Wrong: Intimate relationship require that partners be peers. If one lover plays the role of emotional caretaker, its just enough distance between the two to genuine intimacy impossible. Caretake types are often unaware that the reason they do it is because they doubt they have anything else appealing about them to attract and sustain a man’s romantic attention. So they often their services instead of themselves. The arrangment is lopsided in another way too. It seems 90 percent of the relationship centers on the broken person’s needs and feelings. Once a hurting man has been helped back to strength, chances are he’ll start looking for a mate who matches has new and improved staus. He figures, I deserve more because look how much more man I am now.
Solution: If you have a history of dating wounded men, get help. Look to a good therapist, a minister or your closet friends to help you understand the roots of your rescuing behavior and help you break the habit. If you’re dating someone new, ask yourself honestly. Does Tommy sound like Randy? And always get candid feedback from some men in your life who are themselves in healthy relationships. They can tell you how you may come across, which is far more beneficial than your own assumptions.
By Ron Elmore
Inside the mind of cree 
THIS IS WILD I’VE GOT A FRIEND WHO like helps everybody get hooked up she has helped two pastor friends of mine get wives both marriages have lasted for over 20 years and she’s hooked up at least 10 other couples i know yet doesn’t have a man of her own .WHY???????????????? because she treats men like a rehab project trying to fix them up women that stuff only run men away and visa versa
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cdfuuuuuuuuu
this is 2 funny
im a caretaker….b.u.t. i can’t b mending u all day baybee…i need sum nurturing too!!!!
cdfuuu
im da baybee!
im da baybee!!!
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Using Martin Lawrences’ voice (Ooooooooh Weeeeeee)
Smiling & Shaking my head. >>>all patients leave their nurses when they get better.<<<
>>>It seems 90 percent of the relationship centers on the broken person’s needs and feelings.<<>>If you have a history of dating wounded men, get help.<<<
Mm, Mm, Mm……. Is there a woman in the house that will be brave enough to stand up and yell… I AM THAT WOMAN?**BLKmirrorMirror looks around, feeling all uncomfortable, thinking about some of her past relationships. But, swallows her pride, stands up and say; “Hello, I’m BLKmirrorMirror— I AM THAT WOMAN.” :o) There has been more than a few relationships I’ve been in & I know I’ve helped them in SOME WAY, FORM OR FASHION… I may not have entered the relationship knowing… But I did end up helping someone out or aaahm, nursing them back to health. I felt ‘They needed MY help & they would NOT betray me because, out of the kindness of my heart & truly from my heart, I had his back when he NEEDED it, I wasn’t looking for something in return & after he betrayed me it confused the hell out of me.
I truly, felt like Angela Bassett in Waiting to exhale, when she helped him get to that point in his life & he decided to leave for another woman… A WHITE woman on top of that! (I mention white woman because that’s exactly what an ex. husband did to me. Forrrrrrr reallllllll! I’m so serious… We were married a couple of days before my 21st birthday. He was traveling 40-45 min. to get to work everyday to two dead end jobs, our cars were (o.k.) But, I needed mine to go to school & when his broke down of course he had to use mine & I had to bum rides. We went to church in the same city he worked in, We left real early to visit a few of his family members before we went to church for that evening… and passing this place on our way, I encouraged him to apply for a job we had time… (I thought it would be better to work closer to home, he could make more $, on top of that medical, vacation, sick time, personal time & all of those other perks HE DID NOT HAVE at the other two places.)
He was hired on the spot while I was sitting in the car, he quickly moved up to a traveling training manager opening new restaurants. We moved state to state, Eventually becoming a store manager over the other managers, really making a great salary… My complexion became too dark for him I suppose. Now that was a trip because, I changed a few plans (Nursing school & a few other things) to travel with my ‘hussssssband’ I’m letting the man be the man… “I’m supporting his transfers here & there, totally enjoying our moves & HAPPY he was in the position he was in.” Aaaaahm then BAM! Uhh- Buh-Bye :o) Ain’t that something?!??!
I thought that was something until I was betrayed many, many years later & it was more devastating than that.
AGAIN—- I felt ‘They needed MY help & they would NOT betray me because, out of the kindness of my heart & truly from my heart, I had his back when he NEEDED it, I wasn’t looking for something in return & after he betrayed me it CONFUSED the hell out of me.
(I don’t get that parttttttt!)
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(Walking out of the room humming Mary J’s lyrics)
“…I know there are no guarantees
In love you take your chances
But somehow it seems unfair to me
Look at the circumstances
Through sickness and health, ’till death do us part
Those were the words that we said from our heart
So now that you say that you’re leaving me
I don’t get that part…”
~ T
*Aaaaahhhhh the lessons of life… :o)
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Ohhh I just wanted to add:
“That company closed its doors one day in each and every state! I was going to dinner here at the one in Michigan & the one I was used to going to closed… with chains on the doors, So we were going to another one & that one was closed!” I called a friend that used to work for the company & they said w/o notice they closed them all.
The company was ‘The Cooker Bar & Grill’
KARMA!
*I never had to say or do anything to him.*
KARMA IS A MOTHA!
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MILTON……………………YOU OWE ME A PAIR OF SHOES! YOU STEPPED ALL OVER THE ONES IM WEARING WITH YOUR COMMENT……………EVERY WORD.
HELLO BLKMIRRORMIRROR I AM LACREASE! lolllll ( standing up) OMG Im here to minister to somebody and got ministered too. How deep is that? Milton I am her. I am that gurl you describe in your comment. Neveeeeeeee in my life have I looked at myself in that way. I am that nurse! If I was still in my prideful nature, I would have read your comment Milt and close shop on yahoo 360!!!! LOL
Im sitting here thinking about the many people I hooked up who are still together, or even went their seperate ways, and Im like mannnnnnnnnnnnn I dont even have a man. Here I am giving them the strength to get up, then they leave. Not too long ago, I was dating this guy and was helping him to get over his wife. He went back to his wife, and left me on the curb. So then when that didnt work out, he tried to be my “friend” again, and I wasl ike NOPE! So now he has this gurlfirend, and he calls me when they are not so hot. And again Im like Nope!!! So now his new gurlfirend is helping him with that same subject……….HIS WIFE. And so now she is tired of it. And guess what? Now he is between his present girlfriend and his ex gurlfriend who is helping him out now. A patten repeating itself.
But I never knew I was a NURSE. LOLLLLL
T, that was a good story. And you know what? I bet he needs another nurse…………………and one is not hard to find.
Whew I learned a lot tonight. Thanks everybody for stopping by.
Ps. Milt I want my shoes!! lol
Cre
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Q: Was it bad that I smiled & felt happy, after I heard they closed down all of the restaurants?
Tell the truth.
:o)
~ T
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You know what? Gurl that is a good question. Mannnnnnn thats a good one.
There are 2 ways to look at this. You can look at it in a wordly way and say………..that’s what he get by doing me that way. He deserves it!!!!!!!
or
You can look at it spiritually and say. Ok. Im married now, Im happy. Im doing good, I feel good, I look good. Im blessed!!! And I feel bad that his resturants has closed down on him, and I hope the best for him. Because I have moved on, and Im doing good.
Now let me name the reasons why you would feel worldly about it.
1. You are not happy in your life today,
2. You are bitter about what he did to you
3. You cant forgive, and will hold this over his head forever.
Now let me name the reasons why you would feel Spirutally about it.
1. You are married and happy
2.You know that he cant hurt you again
3.You know that he is out of your life for good!
Now God gave us the choice to choose Life or Death.
In those 2 examples of your questions, you decide which one fits where you are in your life.
So boo now dont look at it like a bad thing, but by those examples of where you are today, you will find your answer there.
Let me know what you think.
Crease
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Hmmm, why do I see myself in this somewhere? In my current relationship I’ve been nurturing this nut for 4 years. Pretty much holding his hand through everything and I’m sick and tired of it. He makes me TIRED literally. But the fact of the matter is that it’s me that’s making the moves to end it not him. It started to feel like I was the woman/mother/friend and it just didn’t do anything for me anymore and it was difficult to let this man be the man in our relationship. Thank God I’m on the road to deliverance because this is definitely something I don’t want to ever do again.
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Why am I laughing at “BLKMIRROR” but hey we sow the seeds we reap….. she made some very good points I aint mad at ya I feel ya on some of that…….boy can i relate. Good post Cre!
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Lady J gyrllll (LOL) Don’t think I was sad & bitter writing that.. Some of it was supposed to be funny… LOL Like me singing Mary J & the post under that.
Whoooaaaa’ Cre’ it’s not because I’m not happy in my marriage now or anything like that… I had honestly forgiven him way before I got married this time. And I realized that after we had a few conversations back in 2000 or 2001. It was all cool we didn’t even talk about our past & both expressed how happy we were for each other because both of us were/are in a great place in our lives & doing well. I believe he was being honest & I was… So then I knew I had forgiven him & we were straight. I wasn’t married back then when I talked to him on the phone, but he was. We laughed about different things and talked about what was going on in the present at that time.
In the previous post, I meant— I was just laughing like in disbelief. Like, it’s true what they say… Lady J mentioned it. You reap what you sow. And I mentioned it in the last post (KARMA) what you do comes back to you. It may not be in the same skin but, you know…
We were on speaking terms before I found out about the restaurants closing down & if we see or speak to each other now, I’m sure we would still be.
He seemed to be happy I returned his phone call. Why did I? I don’t know, I didn’t get a feeling that I shouldn’t have. I thought it may have been his Father or Mother passing away & I did learn his Father had passed but it had been a while and that wasn’t why he called. He never told me why he called & I never asked.
He was married & I wasn’t but, I still didn’t want to know why. He asked could he visit because they were having a meeting up here in Michigan & I laughed in his face… Like Oh Nooooooooo. You’re married. :o) We laughed and ended our conversation on a good note. (Laughing)
I’m laughing at that right now. LOLLLLLLLLLL
~ T
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Oh gurl(BLK) nooooooooo. I wasnt saying that you are not happy. I know you remember??????? And your fioneeeeeee husband! lol
I have studied people and their behavior and Im saying that when we are not happy we tend to not want to see the other person happy,,,,,,,,SOMETIMES depending on where you are in your life.
I guess I was saying YOU not meaning you personally (blkmirror) but saying YOU in general. Gurl you married any way lolllllllllllll You know this blog aint about YOU! LOLLLLLLL
Yeah gurl you asked me a past tensed question, so that was the past tensed answer to how you were feeling at that time. I know that he is not in your picture now. And I was saying that based on where you were mentally back then is how you will feel about the restaurants closing down.
CRE
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Ladies, it’s all in what u give a man… Some good and some well you know the anwser. Now if you want to keep him then treat him good and make sure you hit that reset button from time to time, YOU KNOW kick his ass and let him know that he has a good woman who know’s when to be a LADY by his side… That’s all we need Mc Mamma Holla at ur Phat Daddy
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Aaaahm— Thankx for the compliment Bout’ my maynnnne. No— Do U remember—>> His Daddy still wants to hook up with you… LOLLLLLL. U can be my Momma-n-Law & My husband’s Step-Momma if you want to. **CreeeeDawgggg*(LOL)
LOLLLLLLL Cre’ U should know by now my brain is tilted more to the left & I’m crazyyyyy & derangeddddd. (LOL)
I was just posting that question… Just posting it. Didn’t think I would get a response. Like I did today bout’ Bob’s chips……… Just crazy for no reason. Girl.
LOL.
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