Day: March 3, 2009

This blog entry will probaly be more personal than the ones Ive done before. This is my personal blog entry about me……Lacrease.

It goes back to when I was a young gurl. I was my mom\’s best friend * she had a few close friends*., but I was her number 1. She would tell me everything. I loved talking and listening to her. She had the best stories in the world. I loved hearing about how she grew up, and how she missed her dad. She could remember back as far as being a very little gurl.

I am the oldest of 4 and when she would tell me things about how she wanted to take me shopping, and how she couldn\’t wait till I got grown to do things with her. My mom loved me and I love me some * my momma*. Till this day, my dad, brother and 2 sisters tease me, that I\’m her favorite. Looking back I don\’t think that its so much that I\’m her favorite , but more so that we just have so much in common.

We had so many secrets. She would buy me candy and tell me not to tell anyone, and I\’d be so happy. When I got mad at her, it was like the devil wanted me to burst out and say real loud………. MOMMA BOUGHT ME SOME CANDY YESTERDAY!!!! Not to get back at my sisters and brother, but to tell HER secret. To put her out there. To make her feel like I was feeling at the time. I was a young gurl, I didn\’t know any better. But the funny part about this was……………….there was always this *voice* in the back of my mind that would reason with me. It would say …don\’t do your mom like that. She loves you. It would ask me how would you feel if she was to walk in this room and cry because you told one of her secrets? Those questions that this *voice* asked me would make me cry. I mean really cry hard, because I can actually visualize it as if it was a movie . I cried because of what the *voice* made me realize. I\’d be so happy that I didn\’t mention my momma\’s secret. O weeeeeee, I\’d be so happy, and so proud of myself. And guess what that did? It built an EVEN closer relationship with my momma because I was learning how to keep secrets. Even if it was about candy, secretly shopping, giving me extra money for school, and lots of attention. I was still learning how to keep them to myself. And the older I became the bigger the secrets.

One day VERY recently. Someone told me something, and I thought I\’d come home and share it with Neisha. * nothing bad* She\’s my gurl and we talk about everything. I came in, sat her down and told her the story. At the very end of ………………..she says…………. Ma, I already knew. I said WHAT? You already knew? I said why you didn\’t tell me? She said, I have a relationship with this person and I didn\’t feel a need to tell anyone. I was like WOW!!

Now that I\’m a mom and my daughter is 22, we are the very same way. WE are so close its crazy. My mom love to see me and my daughter together. It reminds her of us. We love to talk, debate * both Virgos*, laugh, go places and play all the time. We were both born Sept 3, exactly 19 years apart. She\’s my only child and I love her to pieces. People tried to plant seeds in my life about me and Neisha. They\’d say that since we are born on the same day and are so much alike, that we\’d fall out all the time. Nope. Never. I never watered that seed to watch it grow. Especially since me and my momma was/is very close. All I know is to bond and to be loyal. That\’s what this has taught me.

My next entry shows how my childhood period molded my life to the person I am today.

Lacrease