Just finished my assignments and lessons for tomorrow’s meeting with my Raisingurls. I don’t know why I’m so last minute, but I always do my BEST work when under pressure. That kinda bothers me. LOL But oh well!!!
I’m leaving Friday to stay at the hotel with my Anita Baker friends who are flying in on Thursday and some are driving in that same day. I’ll be staying at the hotel with them the whole weekend because we have a lot of activities lined up. In the MC for the festivities and goodness I’m so nervous. Some feel since I have this personality I will be good for this, but I’m so nervous. That’s the only thing that keeps me from really hurrying this weekend along.
Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful day. I learned a lot today about myself and my willingness to help others. But you know what? I learned that everybody don’t want help. You can pick somebody up and spin them around, and tell them for that day your feet don’t have to touch the ground, but deep down inside of that person they WANT TOO. And you know……….that’s what I learned. I’m not taking anything to heart anymore. I only care for the fact that I tried and I did my part, did what I can do, and if the other person is not willing ….it won’t happen. And today I learned that its OKAY. It really is. Im at peace knowing that.
Our meeting was GRAND today. My gurls left knowing one thing….and I’ll be back to that. Every 2 weeks I pick up 3-4 sometimes 5 gurls for our meeting. Some of the gurls parents doesn’t have cars and they have to be picked up. I don’t have anyone helping me at this point, so I have to do everything by myself. Which is okay . But Im finding that when I pick up those gurls, some are still in Church service after 3pm, some are not ready and a few of them stay kinda far from me. So what I’ll do now is, instead of calling them to see if they’re coming, Ill wait for them to call me. Im finding that the ones who really have this group on their minds are those gurls who call me the day before and the day of. And the ones I have to call up, hunt down, wake up………..are the ones who will say days after * auntie* we had a meeting on Sunday? I have cut that short today. No more of hunting down members. They’re members who don’t have rides want to be here, and the ones who have transportation wants to * do them*. Thats fine, because today I realize that people only do what they want to do. It hurts me to my heart to want to help them so bad, but they chose to want to do other things. The sad part about this is, these kids parents are close to ME. So from this day on, I won’t spend any more weeks * since April* calling and asking, and almost begging kids to remember our meeting dates, when the ones who want to be here ARE HERE!!! Another thing I noticed too. The kids who are in Church, and the kids who parents are concerned with their whereabouts at all time are the ones who come every meet. I noticed that today.
Today we had some very good interesting conversation. Im so good last minute. I came up with 11 questions last night for discussion today, and WE learned a lot. One of the questions were, how do you feel about your step dad/mom? One of my gurls said that long ago before she was born *11 now* her dad’s gurlfriend and mother got into a fight. Well she feels that her step mom is nice but she is still carrying in her heart the fact that they fought. She also feels that her mom and dad should be married and not him married to another person. She also said that she treats her step mom nice, but she knows that her step mother has to work a little harder to get her to participate in activities. So this is what I did. In order to make her see that she has to move on from the past of her mom and step mom fighting before she was born, I gave her A,B,C, and D scenarios.
Understand that this fight happened over 11 years ago, before she was born
Her stepmom and MOM are cool now
Her step mom treats her and her sister will love and respect
Her step mother can tell * she doesn’t believe it* that she asks funny towards her
I told her now based on all of that what LETTER are you having a problem with? She looked at me and said…….. I just wish my dad and mom could be married so that we can be one big happy family!!! Wow wow wow!! After we all finished this topic…… she smiled and said that she stop acting funny towards her step mom and that she now understand that her mom and dad are friends and they have both moved on. We all saw on her face that she really got it!!! Im so happy right now.Â
I really hate that we have to cancel our Cedarpointe trip. Many of the gurls parents just didn’t have the money. I’m thinking that we should have planned this trip for next year. We were just trying to bond and get to know each other . So when next year come they will be ready and this time they will be more excited, and well bonded.
Well, Im off to bed gotta take my mom to take care of her business, and then my best-friend are going to get our Anita Baker shirts made. Thanks for reading.
 Today is Monday and I completed my second day of reading the Bible in One year on line. Gotta stay consistant!
Im trying to decide if Im going to Chicago next week after the Anita Baker concert next Friday. I wanted to be with my friends from out of town, but at the same time I need to do some other things while I’m on vacation. I dunno Im kinda torn, I gotta make up my mind soon. Even though its only for a few hours, most of the time is going to be spent traveling.
Im gearing up for my Feeding the Homeless for Thanksgiving and taking it to the streets drive. I know all of my gurls wont be able to take to the streets with me, but Imma want at least 4 of them to go. Gotta decide how I’m going to do things. Last week I had to cancel our first meeting * Raisingurls* and some of the were mad. LOL My babies was mad at me!!! The 2 sisters that I have she said, we cancelled all of our Summer plans on Sundays to come over to your house. This tells me that they are really getting it, they see the vision. They know where Im going with this and they appreciate it. We lost 2 Sisters last week because they moved to ATL. I wont have a problem filling their spots, its just that I have grown use to them being here every other week. They have never ever missed a meeting and Im going to miss them dearly.
When I got home from work today I read about what Tyler Perry is going to do for the 65 children who were discriminated against for being a pool. He’s sending them to Disney World!!! I’m so happy for those children and so proud of him for stepping up when he didn’t have to for those kids. Kids are my life!!!! And when I read that article tears formed in my eyes. That’s a great thing he’s doing for them letting them know not to give up, and especially feel down for what happened to them. They didn’t do anything wrong and they were treated so badly. Tyler’s going to pay for Transportation * flying*, admission to the park, food, and hotel accommodations. Wow would you look at what God laid on his heart to do? Please take a look at that. I’m just so happy for the children, the parents and the day care owner. They’re flying out July 31, and returning August 3. SMH in joy, WOW WOW WOW!!!
These are my babies right here………. Raisingurls To Women 2009
Lacreasehecallmecree took the What is God’s gift in you? quiz and the result is A TEACHER Your destiny is a teacher.
A teacher is a person who can inspire someone else to be interested in a subject. Someone who is enthusiastic about something; to impart the knowledge of; to give intelligence concerning; to inculcate as true or important; to exhibit impressively; to direct, as an instructor; to manage, as a preceptor; to guide the studies of. Teaching is one of God’s highest callings for His children … ask God it might be you !
Hey, I took that test on Facebook, isn’t it something and that’s what I do with my gurls group. Today I started back reading the Bible in one year on line and I’m going to pray and try real hard to be consistent with it. I enjoy reading the bible in pieces because I can chew pretty swiftly when it comes to it. I will go over and sentence 20 times till I get a understanding, today I was even writing notes and going to the online dictionary to look up words I didn’t know. I need to be in bed because tomorrow I have to be up @ 5:30am for to get dressed for work and here it is almost 12 am. I need/will get back into the routine I had before when I lost 23 pds last year. Goodness why can’t I just lose the weight? Why? Well I know I need to work out. I’m almost 42 and boy they were right when they said the older you get the harder it is for it to fall off. I feel so heavy at times like I’m carrying a body full of water. The other day I was sitting up thinking I wish someone would say * here is $$$ amount of money, if you can lose ??? of weight in one year, its yours!!!! Who ever this faceless person was in my thoughts was, they said that they wasn’t going to see me or even mention it again fora whole year. And they said that you can do what you gotta do to lose it just as long as you do it natural. LOL I was sitting there day dreaming about this. In my thoughts I found me a trainer, and a meal plan and I worked that thang out!!!! I got the money and ………….!!! Yep, sure did. Not going to say what else, but it was just one of my many * videos* I make up in my mind. A place of escape for me, many times I laugh and many times I cry off the * videos* that play in my mind. Well, my Anita Baker friends are coming to town and I have 12 days to make this shirt that I have fit right. When I bought it was perfect, now its tight and I’m not feeling that. I came up with a plan tonight and starting tomorrow I’m going to work it. I’m going to post daily or every 2 days my progress and hopefully I can lose my goal weight before then.
I remember several years ago, I was fearful of flying and Angela from AIMSK ( Am I My Sister’s Keeper) was going to send me a plane ticket to NY, and from there I was to go to NJ. Prior to that we had conferences in Chicago 2 times and instead of me flying, I rode the Greyhound bus. I was too scared to fly and wasn’t going to fly at all. When it came time for us to have a Leadership Class for 4 days in NJ, she told me that she was sending me a plane ticket. I said no way gurl, you can’t even talk me into this. No WAY! She told me to go into the bathroom or some place where I would be alone so that she could pray for me. I did. But in my mind I couldn’t see no way, but at the same time I wanted to be *cleared* of that fear of flying. As she began praying for me I felt this instant release. Still to this day I cant describe what I felt, but it was something lifted. She prayed over the phone for me for about 10 minutes, and I was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay into it. I cant even sit here and write what happened in my bathroom but it happened. When she finished praying for me MY FEAR OF FLYING WAS INSTANTLY GONE!!! I was healed from flying. The fear was GONE! When I opened my eyes I knew I was changed. I knew it. She told me that she was going to send me a plane ticket from her and her husband and that she hoped that I would be on that flight. And when I told her that I would she knew it to be true. She knew. She said Lacrease what if God have you on assignment to fly , she said you can’t ride the Greyhound all your life. She said you have to fly gurl. She emailed me my ticket and I was on that plane to Laguaudia Airport in NY. Last year I flew to ATL, and next year I’m flying to ATL 2 times, and NY. There is no turning around, I’m gone!! Thank you Jesus, I am gone. When someone says Lacrease lets go to Florida or lets go to Vegas, I won’t have to turn down any more trips. But the point I’m really getting at is, I prayed that God will give me that same instant motivation to stop over eating. I can’t do this period. I have already told God I can’t do it. I took me totally out of this *losing weight thing*. I just can’t do it. Oh how I wish I had that again. I don’t even know what to call it. lol I’m praying…….would you pray for me too? I’m off to bed, gotta go to work in the morning and make people smile. God is the BALM!! He’s a HEALER.
Today was a good day. I woke up asking myself do I want to delete the post from yesterday……lol. I decided that it was okay. Gotta get thru this ya know? For so many years it would come up in my head and then I would make it disappear out of my mind for another coupla years. Anyway……..
I know I need to be in bed right now, but I’m only working 4 hours tomorrow so I decided to stay up and blog. I have been blogging since 2003, and for some reason I don’t see an end to it at all. A good friend of mines who I met on the Anita Baker Message Board in 2003 turned me on to Yahoo 360. As of July 13 2009, that site has been deleted. To date I have over 400 blog entries and I really love it. A lot of times I would start to blog and I get writers block. I can have hundreds of thoughts that pass my mind that I would love to write on, bit as soon as I get on this site it just disappear.
This guy that I met a few years ago came through my line yesterday. Let me go back when I met him he was with this white gurl and he said that she was just his friend. But see when he gave me his number to call him she was on the store shopping. And when it was time to pay he made sure she didn’t come through my line. Anyway we talked that night, had a good conversation. We we talking and asking questions come to find out he use to date this gurl who use to stay with me when her mom put her out. I had to be about 25. He would come over to pick up this gurl and they would go places. She introduced me to him and that was it. Fast forward to now 17 years later this guy that I met is HIM. In my mind I don’t want to date anyone that my friend knows. I don’t care if he’sBrad Pitt I’m just not comfortable with that. That’s all I have to say about that. I don’t want to go inside my mind and figure out why……….. I’m just not feeling that. So after he called me and called me and called me. I got my number changed and he couldn’t get in touch with me anymore. I never told him why I did a Whoodini, I just did. Yesterday this guy comes through my line and he’s looking at me, and I’m looking at him. Im like dayummmmmmmmmm he fione. It wasnt his turn yet but I had my eye on him. When it was turn we made small talked, * he looked at my hand* which I was wearing the birthstone that my mom boughtme with diamonds in it. So, after a second of small talk, he looked at me and said * you still don’t remember me do you*? I was real at attention then. ( lol). He said I’m *such and such*. My mouth almost opened and hit the floor, but I didn’t look shocked …..I hope I didn’t. He wasn’t even pressed by me * lol*. He paid for his things and he left!!!! Wow→ he was looking good!!! But willI’ll talk to him in that kinda way………..as the gurl on Coming to America Says……….Naaaaaaaa.•
 Yesterday me and Neisha were out riding and I was talking to a stranger again when she gave me this eye signal to come on because someone looked suspicious. I read her eyes cut the conversation short we got in the car and left. This gurl doesn’t miss a beat, when she becomes a Attorney it will be well deserved……….the gurl is bad and full of Godly Wisdom. She told me all the things she would have done to this guy had he been up to something, and poor me blink out and thought about how much I admire her because for the life of me I can’t see myself hurting a bee. Which lead to another *video* that played in my head about me being molested when I was a young gurl. I remembered just laying there wondering what in the world was going on while me parents enjoy a nice night at the drive in. This guy was my dad’s cousin. When he pulled me out of my bed and put me into another one * it was 4 of us * I remember him pulling off my panties and throwing them. He got on top of me and rub himself on me. I was so scared I tricked him and told him that I heard my parents coming in the door. He got up and went back down stairs. The next day, I went right next door to my bestfriends house and told them what happened. And the part that makes me mad at myself is I didn’t tell them as a victim, but as a person who was stupid and didn’t know what was going on. I think about that all the time and get so mad. The person that I am today I would neverrrrrrrrr want this out. Dunno why I’m even posting this, maybe it was on my mind tough. Anyway when I see that family I think of what I told them. I must have been young. Then it happened 2 times with their older brother. So now that I’m grown I’m thinking……..did they tell him and he saw opportunity to do it too? Every time I saw this brother he was always smiling at me, and looking at me like he wanted to take me in the room and do all kinds of things to me. I fucking hated him. That grim reaper smile, and he had the nerve to be best buds with my dad. And sometimes I wonder why he didn’t see it? That’s another thing that pisses me off to no end. How don’t you know when your friend wants to fuck your daughter? I never told anyone about what he did to me, all the things he said to me and how he use to want to babysit us so he could get me alone. Why the hell can’t kids be kids? Its always somebody wanting a turn to get at you, to plot against you. What feeling could you possibly get by rubbing the vagina of a young 13 year old. He’s in jail for murder and I hope he never gets to come home.
Sometimes I ask God why did this have to happen to me? Not saying it should have happened to someone else, but why me? What was God thinking when this was going on? Why didn’t he do something to stop it? When I think about this, I just don’t understand for the 41 years on life in me.
Then when I was 17 I was going with this guy, we never did anything and he use to spend a lot of time with me. I loved him because he was tall, handsome, thick and was soooooo silly. One late night we were sitting in my dad’s car talking like we always did. We got out of the car and as he was leaving I was giving him a hug and a kiss, he grabbed me and dragged me into my back yard. It was like a demon had gotten into him. He wouldn’t let me go. He was so tall and so cocky I couldn’t do anything with him. He threw me up against my house and pulled down my pants. Once inside my panties he stuck his fingers so deep in me that it shut down my mind. I was so in shock I couldn’t scream. My daddy was calling me * Ill never for get it* and I was too afraid to say anything, my dad would have been in jail and killed him. Once his fingers were in me, he pulled me down to the ground and raped me. I looked up to the sky and zone completely out. After it was over he pulled his pants up and left. I stayed there laying on the ground in my * spooky dark* backyard wondering what the hell am I going to tell my daddy for not answering him when he called. I finally got up, I was bleeding so bad and felt so dirty that I know I had to have been walking like a zombie. When I finished showering my parents still never knew what happened to me. I was a virgin never been with anyone. Sometimes I wondered did this happen because I bragged about it. I never wanted to see him again. Then weeks later he saw me, my heart was beating so fast. He walked up to me and said………….*why didn’t you tell me you were on your period*. Every time I think about that shyt I get pissed off.On my period you fucking stupid b**** I don’t think so.
Ok, I’m not going to tell yall I wrote a blog entry out last night and it got deleted by my computer shutting off by itself doing updates……. I’m like WTH! After I got over my shock I went to bed. lol So here I am tonight blogging again knowing full well its waaaay past my bedtime. For some reason the older I get the less sleep I need.Im already known for getting power naps in, but now I don’t need much sleep.
 My coworker is moving to Georgia July 1. She went with her boyfriend for a interview, then they found a place to live. She says the place is very very nice. I’m so happy for her because this is the place that Ive been wanting to live for the longest. Its coming through, I’m already saving!!!
Today was a good day at work. In so glad God is working on me about my sarcasm, and the thoughts that goes on through my mind. He takes so good care of me. I don’t have to borrow from anyone, I don’t have to worry about getting back and forth to work or any place else. I do enjoy helping others. Thats my light right there. I love it. God is good to me and so I love to give to others and help them. Especially the young ladies at work. When they need me Im there, I can always tell when they are going through and may need something. They don’t want to tell me but God tells me. I found out that when you head is not so foggy you can really hear from God. He tells me so much stuff ahead of time its unreal to me sometimes, as if to say why you always tell me stuff God? But I loooooooooove it!! Today this lady and her daughter came through my line. The mother was about 40ish and her daughter about 20ish. When I looked up at them they were next in line, but I had’nt gotten to them yet. The daughter had this strange look on her face, as if she was sizing me up. I didn’t give eye contact yet, because I know when I do, I’m going to be in straight up * Reading Mode*. Once I throw that eye contact on you, its ova, I can read your mind if youre on some slick shhhh!!!! Its their turn and my eye contact jams up the daughter first cause she was looking at me hard, then I looked over and greeted the mother. I knew something was up because God told me. I still didnt know what it was yet. So the mother * talking over the nervous daughter* says…… the man/lady *forgot who she said* got the bike down that’s in the cart because this bike here * the one she was walking* doesn’t have a price on it. So me, knowing full well that story didn’t sound right. I got the wireless scanner and hot tailed my hips and thighs over to where they were standing and said * why did they do that, the price to the bike * the one in the cart* has this tagged on it * she didn’t know it*. So I scanned it and it said $59.99, but the one she wanted to wheel outta there was $80.00. I said MAAM, these bikes are different, they are different prices, WHICH ONE YOU WANT? She says with this stupid look on her face……..they aint the same one. I said um um giving mad eye contact to her. She said well I want the cheapest one. Which was the one in the cart. Guess she wanted the expensive Bratz Bike, but she call herself asking me to scan the other one for the cheaper price. I called my CSM over to my register and told her to wheel this bike OUTTA HERE! You know what the lady said to me as her daughter was paying? YOU COULDA GAVE ME THAT BIKE! I said you didn’t want that bike you wanted the one you bought. She started smiling like Heffa you know what I meant by that. LOL. I said I’m not losing my job, so you can go to yours in the morning!!! She wasn’t mad, but she did say about 4 times you could have gave me that bike. And I said about 4 times, if you wanted that bike you would have bought it. Tryna play me and get me to scan the wrong bike. And she’s so dumb, those bikes has slot numbers 🙂 she didnt know that they were right there and had different slot numbers on them. She knew she was wrong that’s why she kept staring. LOL People are a trip. Very funny.
Tyler Perry sent out a heartfelt email today. Ahhh it was so heart warming. He talked about his german shepard, my favorite dog. We had 2 dogs in our life growing up and both were german shepards, they lived to be soooooooooooooooooooo old. I never fully got over the death of our dog BUTCHWALKER, yep he had our name. That was the smartest dog in the world. He would sit on the couch with his behind and have his arms on the floor. We would pretend we didnt see him so that he could do it longer, we would say hey yall……. ..look at b-u-t-c-h spelling his name out. We would kinda look at him from the corner of our eyes and crack up laughing at him. He would be waiting for one of us to give him direct eye contact so he could stop. LOL He was soooooooooo funny. Reading Tyler’s message bought back a lot of memories. My sister’s dog name is Foo Foo. I looooooooove that little gurl. OOOOOO weeeeee I love her. Talk about personality. Nobody dog has nothing on this gurl. I call her my niece and she’s a minature doberman. She thinks she is all that too. She thinks she can chase cats and they not fight her. She sleeps on the bed with my niece sometimes, and she gets mad when my niece best friend comes over to spend the night. Foo foo loves heat and she loves to be UNDER the covers. My sister said she peeped in the room the other day to check on my niece and her bestfriend who had come to spend the night. Foo Foo was laying next to my niece with the cover up to her ears, laying on her side STRECHED OUT, while my niece bestfriend lays at the foot of the bed with NO COVER ON!!!! ROFLLLLLL And the part thats so funny is, in the middle of the night when you have to use the bathroom, foo foo will get up out of the bed, follow you to the bathroom door * she never goes in* but when its time to lay back down, she dont want to lay in that same spot she was in, she wants to lay in the spot that you were in. Then she will GRRR when you tell her to move over thats your spot. OOOOOOOO it’s so funny!! She got a nerve to get mad. When you go over to her house, you have to greet her FIRST. You cant just walk in give out kisses and hugs to PEOPLE, without saying her name and acknowledging her. She will jump and jump and jump up until you give her hugs and kisses. She is so jealous. And dont let me leave her house. As soon as I open my car door, she will run out of no where and hop in the back. And when you say no Foo foo you can’t go she will pull out her claws and pull away from you. She’ll get on the floor in the back of the car and make you work hard to get her out. She is soooooooooo funny!! LOL
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
I’m happy Tyler is loving his dog. Dogs are very  protective and they really love their owners. The hard part is, they have to die and growing up I never thought of BUTCHWALKER dying and getting to be old. Neisha says this is why I never got her a dog growing up. Wow.
Im rambling tonight. So follow me. There is no telling where I’m going with this, if you’re familiar with my postings you know I do this very often. So much run through my head, and here is where it’s emptied. Ready? Lets go people!
Today Neisha went to 36 District Court to be with her mentor!!! This was her first time * besides going to jury duty*. She wants to be a Prosecutorfor the State of Michigan. She got a first hand look at what goes on in preparations for a court preceding case. She sat with her mentor for 2 cases, then they went to her office and Neisha helped her with transcripts, filing, and stuff like that. My baby *oops my 22 year old daughter* was so happy when she came home today. She went to court about 8:30 am and didn’t get home till after 5 pm. Her dad is best friends with her mentor’s brother and he hooked up the meet for Neisha. They had met before, but this time she invited Neisha to stay with her all day. I cant personally thank her enough for doing this for Neisha. Now , she wants Neisha to come anyyyyytime she’s free from school. Wow, wow, wow!! She has 3 more classes to take in the fall, then she’ll have to wait a whole semester to Graduate with her Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice, and she’ll be going to LAW SCHOOL. OHHHH LAWD, What proud parents Marto and I are going to be.
Why are people * including myself* with this post * UGH* giving attention to Bill O Rilley for still talking about Michael Jackson? Why? And the bad part about it is, if he can get the attention of Black people to argue his case with, he will continue. That’s why he won’t hold a conversation about this with a person* white* who feels the same way. Cause it won’t get that effect he needs. Michael is no longer here, why? Just why? And you know what, I’mnot going to spend anymore time trying to figure out why people won’t let this man rest. Aintnone of those doe doe birds got a hell or heaven to sendhim too. But what is going to happen is they are going to find themselvessome kind of issue that wont let them rest, and its going to be a burden for him andhis family. What goes aroundcomes around……….and for Bill its coming………. oh baby ……..its coming……and its going to be PUBLIC. I said it first right here in this blog entry.
I cried like a baby watching the funeral of Michael Jackson. He was my first Celebrity boyfriend, then came Prince for my teenage years.♥ What broke me really down was Usher first, then MJ daughter Paris. And the way Janet grabbed her, OMG I lost it. My eyes were so red and so puffy, so LITTLE. I didn’t think I could drive yesterday. I COUDLNT SEE. LOL Oh Jesus, what a celebration it was for him. He would have been so happy and honored. Michael went through a lot of drama with the media. They were mad because he IS the King of Pop and he was private. When people dont know about you, they start rumors. They have just got have something on you. Why? And the part that gets me is…… I don’t come from a family of drama. So much I’m learning about people and disloyalty is really killing me. I’m 41 years old and all this gossip and fakeness thats going on, I PROMISE I MUSTA BEEN BLIND, cause my eyes are open to all of it all of a sudden. I DISS AND CUT PEOPLE OFF FOR FAKENESS AND GOSSIP!!! I don’t care about friends AT this point in my life, I care about Peace. I want to spend the rest of my life * thats left* drama free!!!! Then I read that * The family is under fire* for letting Paris speak at her dads funeral. WTH??? First of all UNDER FIRE OF/FROM/WHO? Why do these people think they are God just because they opened their mouth and spoke? These are Michael’s kids and they have the right to say what they want to say at his Memorial. When they are older and look back on this day Paris is going to be happy that she made her speech. I think they making a big deal out of it is because what she said OVER POWERS any thing negative about their dad, and to set fire to the speech, they want to say its not in the best interest. SMH WOW. UN DANG BELIEVABLE! See, that’s why I LOVE GOD. I LOVE HIM. I’M so happy that he’s my friend, my daddy. I’m so happy that I hear from him. These people *down* here are something else. I know I’m something else too in his eyes, but baby these finger pointing people with their NON AUTHORITY SELVES CRACKS ME UP! That’s kinda why I’m glad I didn’t know Michael Jackson personally.  Tyler Perry cause he catches it too……..boy does he catches it. Cause see Ill call a press conference and curse out the press from A-Z. …. NON STOP!!! Ill talk to God about it LATA BABY LOL. I know I’d be wrong as 2 left shoes, but don’t talk about my love ones. And if you read this post, you’ll probably think I care, to the point where it would bring me down. The thing is I don’t!!! But all I want to do is say my peace and I don’t have to respond anymore. I have a way of saying stuff and anything you say after that, you would feel so stupid. Cause once I say what I have to say……….that’s it, blank stare afterwards. When I use to read mean post about Tyler Perry I would go off on the poster so bad, they would write me back and I would let them have it * no cursing tho*. I was getting a little crazy with it. I just hate gossip andcant stand for people to post/say stuff thats not true, especially if they don’t know and havent spent time with these people. Now I have more self control * lol* then what I had before. I sorta laugh now. God has a lot of helping me out in that area. Im telling you if I was born when Jesus was killed, they probaly would have chopped my head off and bent my mouth up cause I would have went crazy. lol Doing my boo like that!!! And see I wouldnteven understand why he had to die, all I would know is my Jesus was hung.  Everybody wants to be a plant manager and supervisor, and as soon as the ISH jump off they want to show you THEIR managers. GET OUTTA MY FACE!! UGHÂ
 Ok on to the way I live my life! I’m getting ready for my 2nd Feeding the Homeless for Thanksgiving and taking it to the Streets drive!! This is something that Ive always wanted to do….. feed the homeless. I hate when people are hungry, need money to pay bills, get thrown out of their homes, I break down just knowing people go through these types of things. Last year when I introduced this drive to my family, friends and co workers, they jumped right on it. I had my list of needs filled up by people signing on to help that it was done in 2 hours!!! I didn’t get a chance to ask everybody did they want to help. LOL People were adding their names to more than one item. I was so over joyed. People were coming up to me asking why didn’t I ask them? LOL I said I’m soooooooooory, but people signed on faster than I thought. So this year people were like Lacrease, I want to be apart of this , please make it bigger. Wow aint that a blessing? This year I want Turkey/ or Chicken and Dressing, corn on the cob, string beans, macaroni and cheese, fried Chicken, corn bread or rolls. And for drinks, they will each get water, pop, and juice. For desert I want them to have brownies, cake, and cookies. Last time we feed about 15 people, this time I want to feed about 50. That’s my goal and as time go on and on, I want to feed 100 and then 200 and then 400 and then more!!! This time Im going to have some of my Raisingurls to go out with us to take it to the streets. I took photos and have footage of last years drive.
I need to lose weight! My daughter will be graduating from Wayne State next year and I want to be pretty when she does. I can’t have this ~~> Â Face is huge. LOL Im, not dissing myself like that………..but put it this way…… I need to lose weight. Soooooo me and my Sister are going walking tomorrow. Imma strap on my ipod and walk my butt off. I love to walk but all that otha stuff * jumping jacks* have a sista out of breath. LOL
I love to drive I’m seriously thinking about driving for someone personally. I started driving when I was 32. I was always scared to drive. Till one day I said you know what? I gotta do this, I’m tired of getting rides, waiting on folks I need to learn how to do this. When I took the rode test, I was so nervous for a minute, then the lady said you drive so good, you should have been driving. Every since then I have been throwing down. When its time to go somewhere I always drive. My friend knows I love to drive, and as soon as wed go somewhere, she’ll hand me her keys so that I can drive her van. lol She go over board tho, lol I make her drive her own van now. Well, I’m about to close for now, Im sleepy as I don’t know what. Ill be posting this week. Take care.
 I was thinking tonight about Michael Jackson. So many thoughts went through my head about him. How people can be so mean and so cruel. Its so unreal how people won’t let up on others, but they are the same ones who can’t take what they dish out. I just feel like crying. Can you just imagine waking up daily and seeing your name all over the Internet, and on the front cover of TABLOIDS? These people who AMEN and write these mean articles are gonna have to see GOD, and its not going to be NOTHING NICE. I don’t feel bad or sorry for them, that’s what they’re going to get. Even to his death they are still calling him Jacko. I get so upset, I have to think about flowers and nice pretty things to calm me down. I cant do anything about it, I cant stand at the highest building and curse them out. All I can get out of it is, to learn that I can’t control people. That’s real hard when you want to break these people off a real asswhopping! Then you have these bootleg ass people on EBAY selling tickets to the Memorial that got them for free, for $15,000. To me this is the same as those in the days of Moses. People are so greedy for a dayum dolla!! Thats why I hate money, you cant get me to run upstairs and bring down a pair of pants for money. I do things because I FEEL LIKE DOING THEM. There are people who want to see Michael and here these doe doe birds on line selling them. What a shrine!!!
Im lost in thought right now……….be back later. Don’t forget to get MAXWELL’S new CD tomorrow. BLACK summers night
What a week!!! First let me Thank God for helping me to make it through lastweek and now this week. I had a lot on my plate making deadlines, going to work, taking care of my mom who had in and out surgery last Friday. I had to work all week, had my gurls group meeting on Sunday, had an inspection on my house, Michael Jackson’s passed away, that FIONE Billy Mays did too and Farrah but I made it through. Many times when I feel over whelmed God’s Spirit comes over me and calms me all the way down. His Spirit over me is one of the warmest feelings I’ve ever had. I love it. So Thanks for Dad for a wonderful week after all.Â
Over the last few days since Michaeal Jackson’s Death, I’ve been thinking and reading comments on line, watching the news, listening to people in public. And I realized that people can be so mean. Sometimes I wonder if I want to be POSITIVE so badly that I close my mind out to the NEGATIVE? Because some of the things that people were saying was UNREAL to me. People don’t stop to think about what if it was them or their love ones. People say things and never stop to visualize themselves into those same situations. BET did their thing to Honor Michael in the short time they had, and when it was all over people got on line and dogged the show out calling it the EBT awards and posting all these mean things. There was a time when I would read this stuff about Tyler Perry and go off, now I don’t even bother. I just click out and read something positive. I can’t put energy into that mess. I realize that people have nothing else to do but spread lies and talk about NOTHING!!!Â
I went on line and viewed a few past interviews Michael Jackson did with Oprah and Bashir the man who twisted things around and spread all these lies about Michael. It made me cry. How could you do people like that? Michael had his own camera going while Bashir was doing the interview, but when it got on TV he edit to so much that Maury was outraged and his own investigation using Michael’s Camera. Michael is a Virgo like me, and I know that I shouldn’t go by that, but I’m sorry I’m a Virgo and I’m finding that I have so much in common with these people. I came to the conclusion that Michael couldn’t take all those lies and accusations. That drove him to pills. I don’t care with nobody says. He took pills to take away his pain. We are people who love people and they can drive you crazy. I know first hand!!!! That’s why you gotta have God so deep into your life, that its crazy!! You’ve got too, or you won’t make it. You also HAVE to surround yourself with positive people. You all have to be on the same page, if there is anyone who does not fit, THEY GOTTA GO. I’m sorry I’m not about to be stressed out because I cant remove people FROM my life……….they gotta ROLL OUT!!! Michael couldn’t get on TV and speak out on all those lies and stories everyday a print comes out. He did when Oprah interviewed him. I loved that part too. Just like the case about him in this chamber wanting to be frozen to live to be over 100 years old. He laughed at that mess, I did too. People take photos and get a kick out of lying on someone just to impress others. That is so bold! So sad. God I hate that this man is dead. He had to sit back and read a lot of stuff about him. The names they gave him, I bet he cried to sleep many and plenty of times. That hurts me to my soul to see that this man read and had to ignored all these stories. I really don’t know how much of that I could have taken in. I really don’t. See I’ll get on TV and NUT up on everybody!! LOL I will probably put my career in jeopardy because of going off on the MEDIA. I cant take that. Its bad for me now sitting back watching them do Tyler Perry to very same way. They dog him out so bad, that I had to shut my computer down from my self because I wanted to NUT UP ON DEM FOOLS!!!But my name is on this stuff, and if Tyler can ignore them, so can I. Took me a long time to do this, and just today I wanted to NUT UP on this one gurls blog for talking about my baby Tyler. They don’t even know him. That’s why I HATE SECRETS AND I HATE LIES, AND I HATE GOSSIP!!! I HATE THEM. They are evil and it can kill someones heart something terrible.
2009
First of all UNDER FIRE OF/FROM/WHO? Why do these people think they are God just because they opened their mouth and spoke? These are Michael’s kids and they have the right to say what they want to say at his Memorial. When they are older and look back on this day Paris is going to be happy that she made her speech. I think they making a big deal out of it is because what she said OVER POWERS any thing negative about their dad, and to set fire to the speech, they want to say its not in the best interest. SMH WOW. UN DANG BELIEVABLE! See, that’s why I LOVE GOD. I LOVE HIM. I’M so happy that he’s my friend, my daddy. I’m so happy that I hear from him. These people *down* here are something else. I know I’m something else too in his eyes, but baby these finger pointing people with their NON AUTHORITY SELVES CRACKS ME UP! That’s kinda why I’m glad I didn’t know Michael Jackson personally.  Tyler Perry cause he catches it too……..boy does he catches it. Cause see Ill call a press conference and curse out the press from A-Z. …. NON STOP!!! Ill talk to God about it LATA BABY LOL. I know I’d be wrong as 2 left shoes, but don’t talk about my love ones. And if you read this post, you’ll probably think I care, to the point where it would bring me down. The thing is I don’t!!! But all I want to do is say my peace and I don’t have to respond anymore. I have a way of saying stuff and anything you say after that, you would feel so stupid. Cause once I say what I have to say……….that’s it, blank stare afterwards. When I use to read mean post about Tyler Perry I would go off on the poster so bad, they would write me back and I would let them have it * no cursing tho*. I was getting a little crazy with it. I just hate gossip andcant stand for people to post/say stuff thats not true, especially if they don’t know and havent spent time with these people. Now I have more self control * lol* then what I had before. I sorta laugh now. God has a lot of helping me out in that area. Im telling you if I was born when Jesus was killed, they probaly would have chopped my head off and bent my mouth up cause I would have went crazy. lol Doing my boo like that!!! And see I wouldnteven understand why he had to die, all I would know is my Jesus was hung.  Everybody wants to be a plant manager and supervisor, and as soon as the ISH jump off they want to show you THEIR managers. GET OUTTA MY FACE!! UGH 
 Face is huge. LOL Im, not dissing myself like that………..but put it this way…… I need to lose weight. Soooooo me and my Sister are going walking tomorrow. Imma strap on my ipod and walk my butt off. I love to walk but all that otha stuff * jumping jacks* have a sista out of breath. LOL
Hey,
Over the last few days since Michaeal Jackson’s Death, I’ve been thinking and reading comments on line, watching the news, listening to people in public. And I realized that people can be so mean. Sometimes I wonder if I want to be POSITIVE so badly that I close my mind out to the NEGATIVE? Because some of the things that people were saying was UNREAL to me. People don’t stop to think about what if it was them or their love ones. People say things and never stop to visualize themselves into those same situations. BET did their thing to Honor Michael in the short time they had, and when it was all over people got on line and dogged the show out calling it the EBT awards and posting all these mean things. There was a time when I would read this stuff about Tyler Perry and go off, now I don’t even bother. I just click out and read something positive. I can’t put energy into that mess. I realize that people have nothing else to do but spread lies and talk about NOTHING!!! 
Inside the mind of cree 