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My Sister…..Cree’s Blog Entry

sis latrTonight I was watching Oprah’s “Where are they now” as she recapped the show where her Sister Patricia realized that they were sisters, it just bought me to tears. I had seen the original episode, and also this same “Where are they now” but this one tore me up. It reminds me so much of the story about my Sister. I know I keep writing on this subject, but I had known that she was out there somewhere since I was a young gurl. And to have her on my FB page and to see her post keeps her close to my heart.

When I saw tonight how the niece and Patricia took a blood test to determine if they were family, really made me think closer about doing this when ever my Sister * I believe we are* comes back to Detroit. I cannot stop thinking about this, and tonight I just cried and cried. My grand dad * my dad’s father* was married to her Aunt Lucy…. who I use to spend lots of time together when I was a kid. I loved my Grandma Lucy * passed away a few years ago*…. who was also her FAVORITE AUNT. And all the while my dad knew where she was, and how to contact her, but since it was a big secret in the family that she was his daughter… he didn’t. How all this came about….. one day.. my Sister knocked on my dad’s door and demanded answers. Someone in her family started talking and giving my sister answers. All while growing up she looked different than her other sisters, she knew something was wrong. All it takes is one family member who knows the truth, to spark the fire. I was the first person my dad called when my Sister left his apartment that day, because he knew I would find out, and I was the one he talked about her the most with.

As I was watching Oprah… I watched how happy Patricia was JUST TO KNOW her family members. It didn’t matter that Oprah is/was famous. I’m the oldest of the 4 of us from my mom and dad… but she’s older than me. So I see her as a “Big Sister”..someone I had to be to my siblings. I’m excited about that. I can see true LOVE in her eyes, in her mannerism, the way she looks at Oprah. She is very happy to have a Big Sister. I cried for her happiness. And as for Oprah’s mom, I hope that she can move on with her guilt, because really it doesn’t matter about the past anymore. Its okay that Patricia was given up for an adoption, because everyone is going through a healing process, and all that matters is the fact that….they’re all together now. See that’s the part my dad don’t get. He doesn’t want anyone to ask questions. Well.. I’m sorry dad you have daughters that ask questions. We aren’t mad or angry with you for what happened when you were a teenager. We don’t care, all my sister want is to be accepted. Give her that.

My Sister is now running for a seat in the US Senate. I am so proud of her. As for me…. I just want to kiss her, hug her, look at her, talk to her, listen to all of her stories, and even share some. My dad still haven’t called me * almost 3 months*, and I have no desire to talk to him. I don’t like the way he is handling things with my Sister because of his fears. And since he knows how I feel, in his mind… its easier for him to find something petty to be mad at me about. Growing up when he did it …. it bothered me… now….I’m keeping it moving.

Let me go to bed…..more this week.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Don’t Settle!!! Cree’s Blog Entry

IMG_1623Here are the notes I wrote down for today’s for Bishop T.D Jake’s Message called “Don’t Settle”.

  • God uses people that MOVE

  • Everybody Jesus called was busy

  • Romans 8:28 & Hebrew 11:1

  • Hope is an expected end

  • Abraham loved God, but he wanted to settle, saying maybe I misunderstood (HIM) God, maybe he meant this or that, maybe he didn’t say I will have a son. So he settled.

  • Covenant before circumcision, ( if its not helping me get there cut if off)

  • You don’t get saved so you can get right, if you were right, then you don’t need to be saved.

  • Change your name when you change your game

  • You can’t be who you were and be who you are at the same time

  • A house divided cannot stand ( will fall)

  • Get ya fight back Cree

  • I can’t make you believe it, but I can expose you to it

  • You go to Church to be FED not to be Acknowledged

  • Every conqueror has complications

  • As long as you see Church Leaders as “Heros” you will only see yourself as “Human”

  • Isaac will come out of me

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The lady who almost lost 40 years of memory * CONTINUED* Crees Blog Entry

angrycustomers*(Continued from yesterday)* Of course I wouldn’t hit an old woman, any one for that matter. But those are the thoughts that instantly came to my mind as she screamed at me while I was in the middle of helping her. I BE DAMNED IF I put up with the Fragrance of HER BITTERNESS,….. she dealt that sorry hand to herself….. I aint about to pay for that……gurlbye. 

But the LESSON in it for me was….. that it reminded me of why I left Walmart of almost 9 years in the first place. It reminded me that I was MENTALITY AND SPIRITUALLY maxed out at this kind of customer service work. In order words… being a cashier is no longer for me. She reminded me of all the lessons I learned about dealing with people like her. I have learned to fall back and to allow people to be who they were before they even entered the store. I realized and learned that its time for me to move on from this, and to move into my calling from God. At that point I realized that if I wanted to be a cashier I could easily go back to Walmart where I knew everything, knew everyone, trained cashiers, health insurance, and 401 to match. And did I mention. that I could make one phone call to the one of the 8 WALMART STORE MANGERS ( in different departments) who are my FB friends at ANY TIME to get my job back ? At that point I asked myself why am I here? This is SURELY not extra money.  LOL Just because I lived directly around the corner, and shop there daily, doesn’t mean that I should be working there, when I have absolutely no desire at all to do this type of work again. NO, NOT EVEN FOR EXTRA MONEY. I rather work with teenagers who I have to tell 11 times PER STUDENT a day to “go to class”, than to put up with GROWN ADULTS who carry the world on their shoulders, and the only way they feel it should fall off them, is on the LAPS of a cashier who didn’t see it coming………AINT GON HAPPEN. Been there DONE THAT. I rather tell a student 40 times to pull up his pants, than to tell an ADULT ONE TIME….. to not put her money on the counter to put it in my hand, as she would want her change. Its always drama with them….. ALWAYS… even with you’re speaking lessons to them, and telling the truth. 

So this morning ( Saturday) I’m going to call him * depends on if this rain stops*… because I really want to talk in person. I want to Thank him for hiring me off the streets and on the spot….. but I must continue the work of the Teens * I never quit my job at the school* and have no desire AT ALL to become a cashier PART TIME any longer. My next destination is to work at a Youth Center… and then MY own. I have to keep it moving…. I can’t go back and revisit “abandon buildings” that once LIVE AND THRIVED in my life. I appreciate all the lessons from working with the public…. but MY job in this area * cashier* IS A WRAP! 

Be Blessed 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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The lady who almost lost 40 years of MEMORY….Cree’s Blog Entry

flat tireSoooo……… yesterday morning as I stood in line to get a money order, I wanted to smile…. but I didn’t because it was taking the manager a long time to come to the customer service line. Even then when he came, he looked at me…… God told me to smile…. I didn’t and I felt bad about it, because of what happened next. I didn’t even want to make eye contact with him once he came because there were people in front of me and it wasn’t my turn yet. But for some reason he kept looking at me. When the turn was MINES, we took care of business, and then he asked me if he could talk to me in his office.
My daughter was waiting on me so that we could both go to work, and when she saw me go into his office… she had to have wondered “what the what” is she doing talking to him? LOL He said to me… I know sometime ago, you came up to me and you said ” One day I want to work in your store… and when the time comes ….you’re going to hire me”. Yea I told him that…. I’m a pretty bold. Then he said… “well I pretty much have a full staff, but I need someone to work on the weekends, and some afternoons.” He said if you’re interested, what day can you come in to train? I was shocked everything was happening so soon. I told him that I could come right after my first job TODAY. He was happy and I was back there at 3 pm and I worked to 6 pm. As he was leaving yesterday he asked me if I could come back on Friday which was today. I did.. I trained for 2 hours.
As I was ringing up this one customer…. I noticed that she wasn’t “wrapped too tight”. She was an older woman… appeared to have been in her day VERY BEAUTIFUL. Had money, a good life, a husband who loved her, educated, with very educated children. A woman who drove nice cars, clothes and shoes to match. But LIFE caught up with her, because she was selfish, mean, stubborn, and thought more of her self than she was. And for many years God held up his umbrella of GRACE AND MERCY for her, knowing one way or another if she would change her ways. Well, it appeared she didn’t… and LIFE caught up with her and rung her neck…… causing everyone who comes in contact with her to “wear” her fragrance of BITTERNESS…..along with herself.
My trainer says to me… she doesn’t need help, she don’t want to do it herself. She said… she comes in here everyday and mistreats me. She said I will ring her up, you can go around and help her but I’m not. The lady was standing there, saying loudly and sarcastic… “I NEED HELP”!!! As I was unloading her things, I asked her “are you okay maam”. I talk to everyone this way, always asking are they okay, just in case they need help, or if I feel that something is wrong that they’re not saying. She was unbelievable. She talked smart to the lady behind her who was trying to help , she was unlike any thing I’ve seen before. She was really holding up the line… after she paid for her things. She was taking so long to move and by then everyone in line was “DONE WITH HER”. LOL LOL They wanted her out of the way. So to move the line faster, I asked her again are you okay? She looked at me and said REAL LOUD…. “I TOLD YOU I WAS OKAY. HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME THAT?” I just looked at her, and I promise the HEAVENS OPENED AND I SAW WHITE LIGHTS…. .I WANTED TO SMACK 40 YEARS OFF HER MEMORY. Put up the DEUCE SIGN TO MY COWORKERS…. POP THE LOCK TO MY VAN, DRIVE HOME SIT ON THE COUCH WITH MY LEGS CROSSED EATING A BOWL OF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM WITH PEANUTS ON TOP. To calm me the heck down.

TOO BE CONTINUED

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Sometimes…..* insider* Cree’s Blog Entry

tami-face expressiomSometimes you gotta “disappear” out of a persons life in order for them to see how much you truly loved them, and have always been in their corner. I “get it”…..you don’t have to tell me twice…….*smiling*

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Conversations with God…..Cree’s Blog Entry

thank godDear God,

As I sat here earlier watching Creflo Dollar LIVE in Bible Study, he was saying some funny stuff about this lady who always prayed for him and LOVED to serve. Then it triggered a thought about you and I. LOL LOL I realize something. LOL LOL I cant stop laughing. I noticed that the 2-3 times I ranted in September about things in my life, and how I ask you when am I coming out of this wilderness, and why this and why that. But I noticed that every time I cried and ask you 1000 questions, I got instantly sleepy. I remember so clearly those times, in the middle of my rant, you said ” take a nap La’Crease”. It was so loud and clear… I remember standing up and walking around crying, and you said it again… “take a nap LaCrease”. But I sat back down at my desk… then all of a sudden… I GOT INSTANTLY SLEEPY… I couldn’t fight it. So I got up and laid on the couch. When I woke up.. I remember (((LOL LOL))) feeling so GOOD…. but I never pieced it together until now, that you caused sleep to come upon me ALL those TIMES. LOL LOL This is the same story for all of those times. You told me to “take a nap”. I did. lol Its amazing how Creflo’s story triggered me to think about this. I was so sleepy, that I couldn’t fight it… at all. And I can fight some sleep!!!! Now that I think about it, I probably was ON the thin line with my thoughts, anger, and questions. I was so sleepy, but I still wanted to ask you questions. Wow… that is so funny to me. I know next time….. just to go and take a nap

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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When God speaks to me…… Cree’s Blog Entry

cosignI just absolutely LOVE when God speaks to me about a situation that I just don’t understand. 

Working at a High School with teenagers IS A JOB. There are so many students, I can’t remember half their names… LOL But I know the faces of them all. When I’m out and a see a Teenager… I’m always looking to see if they’re one of “mines”. I LOVE my job, even though its stressful… I KNOW FOR A FACT that God gave me the mentality and the gift to be able to go in Mon-Fri and break up fights, send kids to the Dean’s office, give out money when they ask, clean up after them,  make them go to class, tell them to pull of their pants, to stop cursing, to leave the gurls alone, to stop playing so much, give them hugs, and pep talks, show LOVE to them, preach to them, pull them to the side and give them a “whopping momma” talk. This job is normal for me. This is my life, this is what I do. I am cut out for this. 

I work very closely with 2 other ladies. I enjoy working and moving around a lot. I like to move around and be in different areas of the building, and so last week I got into with one of them…. she’s an older lady. I ask God why is she acting FUNNY/FUNKY to me? He told me because I get done with my work faster now, since I found a quicker way to do things. Not only that… but because I chose not to work directly with her, and also because I help out with other things that I don’t have to do. In my mind I’m like NAW.. she’s not like that. LOL Didn’t she confront me about how I haven’t been working with her lately, and that I’m doing too much “other stuff”. She is NOT my SUPERVISOR AT ALL!! I WAS SO SHOCKED… GOD WAS RIGHT * as always*. She let me have it. LOL Now that I think back on last Thursday. LOL After she blasted me out * she’s so lucky I’m working on my ANGER ISSUES* She knew I was mad at her for acting jealous. I’m not sitting next to her everyday while there is work to be done. THIS IS ALL HIGH SCHOOL RELATED THINGS THAT I DO. Then today, she sat in her chair with her legs crossed and slept FOR 30 MINS. SMH This is why I refuse to work with her in that way again. People LOVE to make things all about them. 

I came to the conclusion.. that I need my own group. I need something more personal. I’m going to come up with a plan to get my group going. But it wont be in Detroit. 

Teens these days need someone who’s going to plant seeds into their lives, who care for them, who will teach them about consequences, who will hold them accountable for their actions, who love them, and who’s going to tell them the TRUTH. I work with teens… I REFUSE to bicker with ADULTS on the JOB, when its not about them. Then when I put my head down INTO MY CELLPHONE… and not join in on the conversations…. everybody wants to know what’s wrong with “Sunshine”…. nothing… I just don’t have anything to say. I don’t want to talk about anything but KIDS. SOME adults you can’t just sit and kick it with….. you gotta keep it moving… AND I PROMISE ON A STACK OF BIBLES….. IM THAT CHICK THAT KEEPS IT MOVING!!!! This is my gift my calling, and NO ADULT WILL GET IN THE WAY OF HOW I WORK, HANDLE BUSINESS, HOW I COMMUNICATE… AND ESPECIALLY HOW FAR I GO IN ORDER TO HELP MY TEENAGERS.
Anger triggers… let me go. * wink* 

Be Blessed 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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I want to meet my Sister…..*tears* Cree’s Blog Entry

my sisterI want to meet my sister so bad ( in above photo)…. She use to live here and I hate that I wasn’t persistent in meeting her when she was here in Detroit. I go to her FB page all the time… we favor so much. We talk on the phone, but we’ve never met.My dad had her before my mom and dad married. But the way her mom and my dad got together was sneaky as far as how their families  connected… and for years after years it was a secret to her and to us. My dad is so stubborn and wont take a blood test to give her/us CLOSURE. She aint missing nothing * with him*… yeah I said it. But me and my siblings want to meet her, and hug her and LOVE HER.
My dad lives one min from me and we haven’t spoken in almost 2 months. I just don’t get that.

My daughter is so mad at him because he’s so stubborn she told him that she’s not going to answer his calls because of the way he treats his daughters. But I have a sister out there who wants to be around him….. * throws hands in the air* SMH FOR WHAT? I’m so happy that I’m not stubborn. That kinda life keeps you in bondage. I’m so happy that me and my daughter are very close. Praise God…. and I will communicate, do flips and all sorts of things to keep it that way. My dad has always been this way, he use to go months and months without talking to his brother when we were coming up and all living at home. I never paid it any attention…. never knowing that one day it would be me. SMH. It pisses me off sooooo soooooooo so bad that he’s like this. How you not talk to your BROTHER FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS … then when your kids get older, you do them the same way. We all grew up in the same house, don’t you long to hear my voice, my laughter, my smile, my silly ness…. don’t you miss that? Wow… Well let me say this….. my dad has done me/us like this all of our lives, and for once in my life….. I’m so over his behavior. Once so much time has passed…. it doesn’t even bother me. He had issues with his mom. she sold him to his dad in court for $1.00 and I think he hasn’t gotten over that. If I didn’t have God in my life so deep….. I would be some where crying and depressed. He was the very one who taught me, my sisters and brother to be close…. and if NOTHINGGGGGGG else come out of this as God chose him to be my dad…. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. THANK YOU LORD FOR HANDPICKING THEM FOR ME!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Kids….Oh they’re going to get it one way or another…. Cree’s Blog Entry

dont ask for nothingToday as I sat with the Dean of Students who is also a DETROIT POLICE OFFICER * with his fione self* I listened to him speak to two MALE students about growing up. I LOVE when a MAN talk to another MALE STUDENT. They seem to listen and give attention to that kind of authority. They’re so BLESSED to have MEN in position with the MENTALITY to even want to deal with them. Some of them get it, and some don’t. This one gurl told this officer with an attitude … “yall act like yall our parents”. I heard it and said “OH HONEY trust me we’re not your parents…… but WE ARE your uncles and aunts”. She laughed, BUT she got the point. 

I don’t think they understand… most of us have children who are grown and doing well. I told this one student…. “gurl this job didn’t knock on our door and ask us to work”…. WE APPLIED TO THIS JOB… which means we want to see you do good, we want to be apart of your growth, we want to work here. I said…. I could be at home right now sitting on the couch, painting my nails and eating steaks. I told her “We are NOT your enemy”. They laugh at my examples, but they love them, because they get it. When I speak… I make them see a MENTAL VISUAL PICTURE/MOVIE in their minds of what I’m saying. That’s the only way they are going to get it, is by visualizing my words… and that’s why I’m so good at what I do. 

I was talking to one of the male students yesterday about how many times do we have to keep telling him to go to class!! I said if Dr. King ( Principal) have to keep telling me over and over and over again to do something….. I said I’ll grab my keys and leave. I told him I would never want to be told something over and over again. I asked him…. what do you like about us telling you to go to class every hour…. don’t you get tired of hearing that? MY GOODNESS!!! 

When I was growing up… my momma told us ONE time…. go and wash dishes. You didn’t sit there until your favorite part went off on the TV… you got your but up and washed those dishes. My momma had this look, and you knew what it meant. My daddy did too. They were parents who backed each other up, and not tried to be “friends” with us. You didn’t play one against the other…..that was a whopping itself. Back then you didn’t want any PROBLEMS with your parents… you were scared of the consequences. 

SOME of These kids these days…. they don’t listen. They don’t care and they’re not scared of anyone or anything. Parents want to be “cool” and be “friends” with their kids. And another thing I learned too is this… and its HUGE. When parents were younger, many of them grew up NOT LIKING AT ALL, that their parents had friends who told them about their kids. So when those kids grew up, they MADE SURE THAT…… YOUR CHILD IS YOUR BUSINESS…. AND MINES IS MY BUSINESS. Those same ones got whopping’s growing up, and said WHEN I HAVE KIDS… THEY WILL NOT GET THEM…. and this is part of the reason why kids are off the hook in 2013. And they’re the ones on the NEWS crying somebody killed their “good child”. 

I’m very proud of Mr. Tyler Perry giving $100.00.00 to a School in Georgia for uniforms. We must set the example of giving. Great Deed. 

Be Blessed 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Putting away childish things…DONE WITH YOU… Crees’ Blog Entry

CUT YOU OFFHeyyyy Everybody!!! I see the numbers on my blog entries are jumping off the hook! Well, I’m happy someone is reading, I just hope that you get something out of it. A lot of times when someone is having a moment or is going through something, once you read it, you can truly relate. I know I do. This is why I LOVE to read and LOVE to write.

I’ve been doing so, so, so good with my ANGER ISSUES… I guess its not as bad as I thought. When I feel myself getting upset, I’m make sure that I’m conscience of what I’m feeling, my thoughts, and what comes out of my mouth. I’m 46 years old, there comes a time when you put away childish things. I realize that I have the POWER to allow GOD to help me to control the atmosphere. When I open my heart to him, he helps me to come all the way down….. and I like that. I’m sorry I do NOT want to have ANGER stories for the rest of my life. Because if I’m having those issues often…. that’s WHO I AM. #idontthankso

So… my friend who had the fire in his apartment told me what happened. He was waiting on the time to pass so that he could go and visit his daughter for her first week back to school, he lit a cigarette and fell asleep with it in his hand. He woke up with his lap on fire. He suffered burns but was treated and released. He’s no longer living in the building. We had even began to be friends again. We talked on the phone for several nights straight… and if you know me.. I HATE talking on the phone ((( in person I can sit for hours)))… he knows this and expects for me to talk to him every night. I JUST CANT DO THAT…. I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE… and when I skipped a few nights and only text him…. *just as before* he stopped answering my calls. YESSSSSSSSSSSS SEE YA…. GOOD RIDDENS… I cant deal with a MAN who is so needy and has to talk everyday. I’M NOT A NEEDY WOMAN. So I deleted his number tonight.. AND IM DONE WITH HIM.. OUTTA HERE VIRGO SIR.

I had so much to say earlier, but its gotten late, and when I start itching and moving too much….. its BEDTIME LOL Good Night!

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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