family – Page 11 – Inside the mind of cree

September 22, 2013September 22, 2013

One of my FAVORITE MOVIES…..Crees’ Blog Entry

My daughter loves OLD MOVIES. She’s the one who has me hooked on the old Sidney Poiter movies ( her favorite actor…. she calls him her grand dad). But when she told me about a movie called Black Girl… I was like what kind of title is that. When I sat down to watch it with her, I was blown away. This movie is not only powerful but this cast is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Everyone pulled their weight. I’ve watched this movie at least 10 times …especially since its NOT out on DVD. If you haven’t seen this movie you can watch it on YOUTUBE… here is one of the best scenes. Enjoy

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

September 11, 2013

Wake up kids!!! Wake up…Crees’ Blog Entry

I can’t wait to start my gurls group back up *Raisingurls to Women* when the time is right. By working at a High School it has taught me so much, kids are different these days than ever before. The boys are so disrespectful to gurls, and the music that’s out these days doesn’t help. I hate the word HOE… its just something about it that bothers me. I HATE when Madea uses it, it so degrading, the sound of it bothers me.

As long as I can remember I never had self esteem issue. Even through my weigh battles, I’ve always LOVED MYSELF… and wanted to only be ME. The more I’m around kids, I believe they have these issues because they’re always talking and dissing each other, and when someone else who “appears” to have it all together, they compare themselves to that person. Opening them selves up to feeling inadequate.

One of my students came and sat with me yesterday….. she told me she was pregnant. I don’t believe in abortions, I’m glad that was NOT an option. I’m starting to think about these kids all day… here I am with one child…. but I wake up from a nap, thinking about these kids. I wake up in the night thinking about them, trying to watch a movie and still thinking about them. The future of many of them is looking REAL spooky. Do their mothers have a clue? Where are the dads? Do the parents spend time with them? I’m just sad right now. Why do I care so much? I just want the best for them. I hope they wake up and grow up before its too late.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

September 6, 2013September 6, 2013

Four Weddings and a Beautiful Note….Cree’s Blog Entry

So, I’m watching Four Weddings… and I am horrified that I don’t have a theme for my wedding. I am so NOT creative at all… well I don’t feel as if I am. I would definitely need a wedding planner….but what would I tell her I like? Gosh that’s kinda spooky for a woman not to know what her theme would be. Guess I really never thought about it… marriage either. Maybe because I’m not in a relationship, because when you’re in one, you KNOW what you want and how you see you and your husband on your special day.

I do know that I LOVE roses. I love GREEN.. I LOVE CAKE.. and it will NOT be a cake full of fillings and bouffant.It has to be BUTTER CREAM ICING. lol I want lots of Bridesmaids… Hmmm let’s see…. Gloria, Charlene, Sherry, Neishia, Darcella, Vikki, Shann, and Tammy oh my goodness… no room for the grooms sister/cousins.. gotta stop there. LOL And my Matron of Honor would be my Sister Yolanda. And my Maid of Honor would be my Sister Peedie. Speaking of Yolanda… here is what she posted on my FB page (((tears))).

Lacrease Walker, I, Yolanda Pippen, just want to say that you have had the biggest influence on my life. When we were little, I wanted to be just like you, my oldest sister. I liked the things you liked (peanut butter) and disliked the things you disliked (eggs, butter, and Oatmeal – yuk!). The most important thing that I learned from you was that attitude is everything in this world. My attitude was so poor that you had to remind me that as beautiful as I was, my bad attitude over shadowed my beauty. You reminded me that every time the lion in me reared its ugly head, I was being bitterly mean and our parents didn’t raise us that way. I am so greatful and thankful to you for teaching me how to let GOD’s Love shine through me – I Love you with all my heart big sister, and I hope you have the best birthday in the world! Happy 46th Birthday ~Na ~ (yeah I put your age – lol) (((((((photo is my sister yolanda)))))))))))

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

September 5, 2013

Foolishness brings the Scriptures to Life….Cree’s Blog Entry

When I was a young gurl, I loved watching Bible Stories. I have a nice collection of them now as an adult. I’d be SO mad when I watched people laugh at Noah and his family as they build the ark. No matter what they said he kept building. Again… Anger Issues… watch this. I “thought” I was mad at the people because they talked and dogged him out, but really *I’m learning* that I was afraid of the consequences for the people. I knew as a child that Noah was building that Ark just as God told him… I knew that. I was afraid that the people wouldn’t “open their eyes” soon enough to be saved. I never thought I’d grow up in “real life” and see people behaving the same way they did in those days.

I work with mostly police officers.. and this one.. every time I’m around him I can feel God doing flips inside me. This man does something to my Spirit when he speaks. He’s so lost and so clueless…. I feel so bad for him. He’s in his early 50’s… and so arrogant. I can’t even see him ever opening up to know better. I hope he does.

I use to pray and cry that everyone goes to Heaven, but as an adult I see that people bring to life the Scriptures below.

Matthew 7:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

The Narrow and Wide Gates

¹³“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. ¹⁴But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Photo is of my cousin Monica… she will bury her mom tomorrow. Prayers going up. I love you Monica and Family.

Be Blessed

August 29, 2013August 29, 2013

Gone but not forgotten…..Cree’s Blog Entry

So today….. I’m feeling some kinda way. I hate when I feel like this. I need to clean up, but I want to be on the computer. I want to go to the river, but I don’t feel like fighting/finding a parking spot. I want to watch TV but my mind is all over the place right now. My daughters great aunt passed away this morning… and I’m not good with funerals at all. I’m just a cry baby, I cry and cry, and cry and cry, and cry and cry and cry.. not because of death, but because of the Spiritual Atmosphere. If no one else is crying, I just can’t follow suit and let things be happy… I have to go someplace alone and cry. She was sick, so it helps that family members were preparing. I keep telling myself… to be absent from the body is to be PRESENT with the Lord.

I text my daughters father today, and told him how sorry I was…. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM SOOO mad at myself for not being able to call him. Because I know I’m going to cry and MESS UP HIS ATMOSPHERE.. Why do I have to be so sensitive? If I hear a organ and the choir sing….. I start to cry… like weeping Wanda from Good Times. So dayum embarrassing!!!

My daughter was looking at me today like….momma its okay. Its her great aunt, and I’m crying like she was my mom. Thing is my mom has one sister/sibling, she has one daughter, and everyone is alive. My dad has 7 siblings… all of them are alive except my uncle he passed away years ago of cancer. All of my aunts are alive and they are doing well and look good…. ALL OF MY FIRST COUSINS ARE ALIVE… ALL OF MY SECOND COUSINS ARE ALIVE… and my dads mom only died 3 years ago. My friends are alive that I grew up with. I have never lost a close friend male or female. So, this is why I feel this way about funerals. I haven’t been to many, and then on top off that I’m already sensitive. I pray ALL THE TIME.. that when our family does have our turn * AND YES WE WILL*, that God makes me the strong one. Make me stronger than I feel that I am LORD. Oh yes, we all have to go, and that’s fine…. but I want to cry a little, laugh a little, and understand that these things must take place.

Okay… I think I feel better now… I do. Thank you Lord for the gift of writing. I feel okay 🙂

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

August 13, 2013

I remember * as a young gurl* Cree’s Blog Entry

I remember one day my mom was making chicken and noodles. We loved chicken and noodles, but this was the day before pay day, and as she was stirring the pot a piece of the ceiling fell off into the pot. I remember that hurting my/our feelings so bad. We talk about that and laugh to this day.

I remember my dad use to get off work and take us out to dinner every Friday to Big Boys. We use to love it. I remember asking my parents could my friend go. But when they said No, I never realize or understood that if she went, it would be more money to pay, as it was already 6 of us.

I remember when it was time for report cards, my daddy use to be on it. My stomach hurt all the way to school and all the way home.

I remember when I made a pickle out of a cucumber, I was so geeked.

I remember we use to go to Belle Island and ride the giant slide. We had to climb 100 steps or better just for a 8 second ride. LOL LOL LOL *wow*

I remember when my parents use to go grocery shopping we had to stay in the house until they got home. By me being the oldest I didn’t want any trouble with them. But my sister couldn’t wait until they left so that she could go outside and play inside of those minutes they were gone. I was scared for her, because if she got caught it was over for me and her. She never did. We laugh and talk about that to this day.

I remember when my mother use to say ” just me and you are going shopping on Saturday”. I was SO HAPPY just to be with her, none of my other siblings went. But I hated the time when it was their turn to go shopping, and not mines. 😦

I remember when I was 14 my mom took me to my first concert and it was to see PRINCE. I loved him so much. One day my mom told me that I was going to out grow him, and that he wasn’t going to be my style anymore. I was SO MAD AT HER for saying that, because I felt it wasn’t true. Even though I LOVE me some PRINCE today….* that will NEVER change*… my taste in men has SURELY changed. LOL

I remember when my BFF Michelle who lived next door, cousins would come to Detroit from Chicago she would act funny and never talk to me. Then when they were gone, she would be my friend. I always took her back.

I remember working this summer job that had us cleaning out the upstairs of a roller rink. It was so nasty, dirty, hot, and so much debris up there, that I knew we were doing the work of MEN. I told my dad, and he was so mad when he saw the work they had us doing. He called the news and since the man who had us doing it was a public figure, it was all over . My BFF to this day was working with me * that’s how we met*, the news asked her if she can come to my house so that they can interview us. WE DIDNT KNOW WE WERE GOING TO BE ON THE NEWS. We thought it was just going to be a newspaper interview and that was it. Well after it hit the press, they went and shut that site down. Some of the people who worked with me, was so mad!!! I lost friends by going to the news, they all had to be relocated and had to catch buses to their new site. They were not happy with us at all. I was so embarrassed I never worked under the City of Detroit at a summer job again. Everywhere I went people knew me. I was dating a police officer, he came to my house while on duty and told me that he saw me in the paper, he was impressed…… I was depressed. * Looking back on it, it was the first sign of me understanding why I’m different. I stand up for what’s right, and will go to great lengths to carry OUT JUSTICE.*

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

August 5, 2013August 5, 2013

Who R U LaCrease? Part 4 final Cree’s Blog Entry @tylerperry

PART 4…….. But in order to do that… I had to ask God…where did this come from? Lord, why do I get upset when someone is sharing with me a story about what someone else did to them? Why do I take it to heart so deeply? Why am I so emotionally connected to their story? Why are my insides on fire as they tell the story? Why do I even care?

I was fed up with my own behavior of trying to “fight” everyday with people about how they treat others. So, I sat down with the TV off and started asking God why am I this way? There has to be a root, where did this begin? All of a sudden I started thinking about my childhood. I was bullied in school. I was bullied because I was different and did my own thing. I admire people who do their “own thing” and not what others did….. unless they like it. If you don’t like what I do, that you wouldn’t do… don’t comment on MY stuff. My dad knew I was different too. I feel to this day that he was a major part of why I have a thing against bullies. For example. Say for instance our light bill was due tomorrow. My dad would spend the money, have fun with it, and worry about that when…. the shut off FINAL NOTICE came. Me, on the other hand, if I had a shut off notice, I would pay the bill, so that I could have PEACE, and not be in the middle of a conversation with someone laughing it up, then all of a sudden …. I THINK OF THIS LIGHT BILL THAT’S GOING TO BE SHUT OFF AT ANY MOMENT. In my daddy’s eyes, I would be considered “silly” in a BULLY FORM OF WAY for thinking like this, and for worrying way to much about it. That always bothered me. It made me feel like this…. If I did things or think things differently than you, mines is considered “STUPID” but yours is considered “SMART”. In my eyes that’s a form of “bullying”.

So, as I got older and realized that the gurl who always stayed in the house, people loved me for how different I was. I was NEVER popular in school, but when I started working and living on my own, people connected with me in a HUGE WAY. Because I was different. I stuck up for the “under dogs”. If I saw you messing with someone and they looked like they didn’t want to be apart… I would say something in a nice tone, and let you know… “we don’t do that here”. I felt that I was that voice for them, but it came from my own place when I was a child.

Then God reminded me of a time when a coworker came to me and said Cree I have something to tell you, but I have to tell you when I call you later, because I know you’re going to be mad. That right there, sent my gauge up to 100. LOL I begged her to tell me now, but she didn’t. When she told me the story later, yep I was mad.. ON FIYAH. Long story short. Me and that coworker was standing around waiting for customers, when our boss son came in. He was good looking, 4 years younger than my daughter. When my boss introduced us to him, we said “oh he’s handsome a good looking guy’… and that was the end of that. Didn’t this BOSS/MANAGER go and tell the other MANAGERS that we were all over her son, and that we were acting like “cougars”, and she also said, women like us is the reason why he don’t come up to the job. PISSED ME OFF. First of all, the lil short sawed off rut…. didn’t look like much, second of all, we both have kids who are GROWN and OLDER THAN HIM, and third of all…. we like men in their late 40’s early 50’s. WHAT?????????? So since I’m faithful to my word and friend about not mentioning anything. We both speak to the Manager, but we keep it moving….we don’t deal with her like that.

Then God bought to my remembrance about how I take up for Tyler Perry when people talk bad about him. I connect with Tyler because we share a lot of child hood issues. I love him as a brother, and a long time ago I adopted in my mind that he is just like me. People talk about him because he’s different, he do things his own way. I LOVE and ADMIRE that about him. When I take up for him, I see us as kids, and since I’m older than him. I see myself as the big sister. And NOBODY is going to talk about MY BROTHER!!! I never shared this with anyone, but when I use to read my google alerts on him and the article was bad and the comments were even worst. I would get on there and SHUT THE WHOLE BOARD DOWN… I would nut up on anyone who had anything negative to say about him. Again it goes back to my child hood, its a form of BULLYING in my mind.

One day I came across this page and this white lady was talking about Tyler, I sent her a email and this is how it went.

RE: Backstage

I am a faithful fan of Tyler Perry. As I read your post about him and read your sarcasm….. I was upset to see that you were taking shots at him. For NO reason. If you’re going to write about a story…. WRITE IT. Leave your remarks out.

But then I realized it was YOU…. who looked stupid. Lindsey had a daughter NOT a son. Trying to make Tyler look bad, you need to be FIRED. Get it together PROFESSIONAL writer.

Then she sent this back to me: Hi lacrease,My name is * took her name out* I’m sorry if my post about the Tyler Perry Foundation offended you. Until your comment I didn’t know there actually was such an organization.I’ve taken the liberty of changing the name and removing the Tyler Perry Foundation from the post but the post itself remains.I’m not against people with GID or those who opt for sexual reassignment surgery. It wasn’t my intention to offend you but I’m sorry if I did.Regards,

After doing this…. I decided that I cannot fight these BULLIES, if Tyler Perry can keep it moving, than so can I. This is what God has been showing me for the longest about myself. I’m the same way with HOMELESS people. Don’t let me hear someone talking down on them, I will have a fit. Don’t talk about anyone who is less fortunate. Don’t mis treat kids, BECAUSE THEY DO KIDS STUFF….another issue that God should me. My coworker stopped me from what I was doing and asked me to come over to her, because she had something to tell me. When I got to her, she asked me….. WHY DO YOU GIVE THESE KIDS MONEY? PISSED ME OFF. My heat Gauge went to 100. Before I knew it I started nutting up, no curse words, or loud talking… NONE OF THAT…. I basically told her that I was grown, I do what I want with my money, and that you have NO IDEA of how many people gave me money as a child and adult, and this is my pay off. That was truly the day, she became my “friend”. She got me…. she knew then that I was my OWN WOMAN in my OWN LANE, doing my OWN THING, with my OWN MIND….

Since God showed me these things about myself. I’m learning to kinda emotionally disconnect from the people I love so much. I love my family and friends. I get to tied into their story and take it to heart. I ‘ve been doing sooooo good lately. God reminds me when I’m in the middle of a test, so that I can think about it as its happening, and to pay attention to my “heat gauge”. LOL I can listen to a story and not be so quick to get upset, or offer my “opinion” about it so quickly. I realize that God is in control and that I don’t have to “mentally fight” off bullies, and take up for the underdog, or hear a story and get upset about it, because its a LIE, MEAN, BULLYISH, or GOSSIP. I’m learning to “keep it moving”. I don’t have to take up for my Brother Tyler Perry who I LOVE so dearly anymore. He can handle his own affairs, and people are going to say what they want about him and everybody else too. I have gotten emails and DM from people who ask me…. do you see Tyler Perry for your husband? LOL I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at them, I can see no further than me and he as kids, being different and trying to make it. I couldn’t understand it myself, until God should me the connection.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/syleena-johnson-iyanla-vanzant_n_3677969.html I was watching Fix My Life with Syleena Johnson and when she asked why she still feels this way about her mom Iyanla replied :”because when you were a little person the big people were behaving badly… and then you grow up…. but you never shifted your relationship with those big people… so in your life she’s still a big person bullying you… and your response is that of a 4 year old… you ever learned how else to be. THAT WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH……THAT WAS THE MOMENT I GOT IT…. I AM A GROWN WOMAN… FIGHTING AS A CHILD IN MY ADULT MIND AND LIFE. TELL ME SOMEBODY GOT THAT? That video is ME FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. THIS WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH.

Everyday there is a test for me…. I have to be open at all times for the warning…. hey maybe there will be times when God doesn’t warn me. LOL I know him…. there will be those times. But the bigger picture here is that I WANT to be a better person, and yes I love my family and friends, but I have to emotionally disconnect from the issues, not to make it mines, to not take on the emotionally responsibility of fixing the issue. But at the same time continue to help them out in anyway I can, * I love talking to people* but not to make it mines.

Thanks for reading, and please learn from MY Life Lessons.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

July 25, 2013

“WHO R U PART 2 CREE’S BLOG ENTRY (((must read)))

PART 2…

Here’s what I found out…..That while growing up I always had a desire to keep PEACE in my life and to those all around me. I was that kid that when my momma said.. get up and wash dishes…. I got up and washed dishes. If she said be home by 9… I was home by 8:30. If my dad said to me have this house cleaned up by the time he got home… so it was. My dad was (((and still can be))) a manipulator. I didn’t know what it was then, but I knew that when he wasn’t happy, he wanted to make everybody around him miserable. GOD.. I HATED THAT!!!! He could come into the house and set off the whole atmosphere. He would turn the TV when he knew we were watching something, made us do stuff, he would just create a space that was unbearable.

As I got in my teens and started working, he would ask me for a few dollars here and there, and I would give it to him. But there were times when I had other plans with my money, and boy did he make it hard for me. In order to have PEACE in the house when he wanted money to buy liquor, play his lottery or gas money, he would purposely start an argument with me, and for PEACE sake I would give in. This went on for years. Then I watched him do it to my sisters. When I moved out at 22, he continued to call me and ask for money when he needed it. And when I didn’t give it to him, he would be mad at me for weeks and weeks. For the life of me, I still can’t understand how a father/mother can be mad at their own kids for this long period of time. ((((shaking my head)))) When me and my siblings get mad at each other we make up on the spot!

So at age 22 my calm sweet Spirit attracted MANY people. I love PEACE and people see it, they want to be apart of it, they are a magnet to me… and as I grew up in LOVE and demand PEACE.. I found myself being a FREE THERAPIST for everyone. LOL I LOVED it and still do!!! I love talking and listening to people (((( THIS IS WHO I AM))) and what was going on with them, helped me in so many ways to figure out my own ISSUES. But in the process I lost myself. I got caught up in showing so much LOVE, that I have neglected myself. Not only that.. but I realized that not everyone knows how to receive LOVE.

I met this lady at my job, she was a year older than me. We worked together, and became really good friends. She didn’t have siblings and wasn’t close with her mom. I enjoyed talking with her and talking about the things that went along in her relationship. After that didn’t work she moved out of town and we still stayed in touch. Knowing that she was in another city I was often worried about her. I remember one day I called her and didn’t get an answer. It was very unusual since we talked nearly everyday and every week. I called her so much that day it had to be about 11-12 times straight. But she was there all along, not feeling like answering the phone.

Here is a piece of that email she wrote to me….. I HAVE HAD
E———–NOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS
IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG TO BE CALLING ME THE WAY YOU HAVE.
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU
BEFORE. YOUR CALLS DONT MOVE ME! WHEN I HAVE TIME I WILL
CALL YOU. I AM ON A MISSION AND WILL NOT EXPLAIN MYSELF! IT
SADDENS ME THAT YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO AN ALL TIME LOW. ITS
DISGRACEFUL! DISRESPECTFUL AND TRULY INCONSIDERATE! IF THERE
IS NO EMERGENCY THERE IS NO EXCUSE AND GOD NEEDS TO CONVICT
YOUR HEART ON THIS MATTER. AT THE DROP OF A DIME YOU CAN
ENCOURAGE PEOPLE NOT TO CALL SOMEONE IF THEY HAVE CALLED
THEM SEVERAL TIMES AND THEY HAVENT RETURNED THEIR CALL. THEN
WHY CANT YOU TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE MISSY! ALL I CAN SAY IS
WOW YOU ARE TRULY OUT OF CONTROL! AND WHEN I STOP WHAT IM
DOING TO ANSWER THE PHONE AFTER A GAZILLION CALLS, YOU HAVE
NOTHING TO SAY BUT HI.
YOU-CAN-NOT-CONTROL-ANYTHING-BUT-YOU! TO TRY AND FORCE
SOMEONE TO CALL YOU BACK AND SHOW THEM YOU WILL BADGER THEM
at all cost IS NOT THE WAY TO DO things. YOU GET NOOOOOOOO
RESULTS! AS YOU SAY “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER THINGS PEOPLE
HAVE PLANNED WHEN YOU CALL THEM” THE SAME RULES APPLY TO
YOU.
PRAYING ALL IS WELL
BE BLESSED

And in another email that day…. she wrote:

Its soooooooooooo sad,

That my friend has a case of road rage at the mouth and cannot control herself. It saddens me that you interject your comments when I didn’t ask for your opinion. Its clear that you lack the ability to listen. How can you argue MY opinion.

You have issues with your mouth and listening without offering your opinion when not needed. You got a big loud mouth and you need to learn to control yourself missy! I have a friend with no self control of the lips. And for the first time in years I need to tell you, that you have a serious problem in this area. I am embarrassed to know that its soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out of control even you cant help it. But you really need to get-it-together with your anger–rage mouth!!! Its very difficult to share things with you when I know you gonna go nutts at the lips!!!!!!!

There is no excuse or apology for your behavior just work on making the changes for yourself.

After reading that THEN….. I was like WOW. Where did that come from? Even though we have been knowing each other for a total of 23 years…. I STILL DIDNT look at myself . I never got to explain to her that I only called so many times in a row was because I was worried about her… aint like she lived around the corner as she always have from me. She was going through a lot at that time, and she was my GOOD friend. I cared. In my family and circle, if you’re really close and haven’t talked to that person… concern grows…. YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THEM… and they’d appreciate it too. Looking back at this email from 5 years ago… I realize that everyone is not use to someone “looking out for them” “checking up”, “or giving advice” just as well as listen to it. I have sisters that I LOVE… trust and believe if I blow you up like that I CARE. When I can’t get in touch with my sisters and friends… THEY KNOW I WILL BE KNOCKING ON THEIR DOORS. If something is wrong with that… I’m sorry. They understand… that I don’t mean no harm.

I refuse to put this ALL on her. This was MY issue too. Becoming too involved and having a desire to help people. I didn’t know when they wanted me to listen or when they wanted advice. When I’m quiet they want to know what IM THINKING.. when I voiced my opinion they just WANTED ME TO LISTEN. Again… that was me… putting too much into others. Don’t get my wrong there was nothing wrong in doing this… but when you lose YOURSELF FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS… that’s not good at all. I finally get what she’s saying after all of these years. I get it. I really get it. Too bad our friendship has ended.

And just like my dad, he just wont let me LOVE him without sabotaging our relationship. He’s mad at me right now, its been almost 3 weeks since he called me. Growing up as a child and in my early 30’s this would bother me something terrible. Somehow I just don’t care anymore. I feel bad that I DONT CARE. Looking at my dad’s past, he is just like my friend, THEY KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND TO BE FAITHFUL TO PEOPLE….. but they don’t know how to RECEIVE it.

I’m not mad at nobody…. I’m just staying in my own LANE. Running my OWN race.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

July 15, 2013