Total Praise, Personal Scriptures….Cree’s Blog Entry

love godIts Saturday and I was out and about this afternoon. Tomorrow I’m cooking some Collard Greens. I love greens so much. I remember when I use to call my momma and ask her to make some and she would, just because she knew I loved them. Now my daughter calls me to make her some. No this gurl didn’t text me this morning at 9:14 am talking about “she gotta taste for some greens”….. she doesn’t live with me…she has her own place!!!! LOL When people say *they gotta taste* that means they want you to make them some. Call me what you want…. because I went to the grocery store this morning and got my baby some greens. Can’t wait to cook them. LOL 

This morning as I was laying down talking to God. I asked him why do I enjoy sharing my life stories with people. I know so many people who wouldn’t dare share their stories with anyone. They will post Scriptures all day everyday. And even though…. I KNOW MY LIMIT of what to share and what to keep private… I still wondered why I don’t mind doing this? What he said was…. I ‘m delivered from what others THINK OF ME. He said when you share a story.. ITS YOUR TRUTH and you know NO ONE on earth have the POWER to dissect it. He said some people have others to influence and when you have that in your life, you will always be afraid of what others think of you…. therefore those people will never share their stories for fear of JUDGEMENT. This is not for everyone… ONLY (((((SOME))))). 

I learned that people who ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a comment for what someone does, good or bad….((((especially negative)))))
they WOULD’ NT DARE LET OTHERS INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIVES FOR THE FEAR OF THAT SAME JUDGEMENT THAT THEY DISH OUT.
As I go through my personal storm (((( will share at a later time)))) this is my song that gets me through. So BADLY I want to THINK about how things are going to work out for me. But God said NOPE …. KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME ((((and that way I will have NO time to focus on my issues))))) and so it reminds me of these Scriptures. 

Jesus Walks on the Water

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33 (New International Version)

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

All My Birthday wishes with LOVE (((so happy))) Cree’s Blog Entry

love

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LACREASE…..HAVE A WONDERFUL BLESSED DAY…LOVE YOU…
Happy Birthday Cree!!!!!
HAp e BerFDaye
Happy birthday cuz…….love u sooooo much
Charisma Nikita wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Crease!!!!!! #TURNUP! lol

Happy birthday to my twin @MsVirgocree and my niece @Neiishia!! Love y’all hope y’all have a beautiful blessed birthday!!

@MsVirgocree Happy Birthday!! Enjoy!!

Andrea Jones wrote on your timeline.
Happy b day Lacrease..Enjoy your day!!!
Latrice Sherrod wrote on your timeline.
Happy birthday my friend! May you be blessed with many more. 󾌬
Shuntel’ So’Lovely wrote on your timeline.
HBD
Chris Wells wrote on your timeline.
Happy birthday!!! Have a bless one
Lisa Liiviing Liife wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Enjoy Your Day From Your # 1!!
Lakecia Allen wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday big brown
Amsterdam Jones wrote on your timeline.
HBD!!!
Cammie Robinson wrote on your timeline.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have a blessed day!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LACREASE!!!!
Happy Birthday ZeZe have a wonderful day, enjoy.
Photo: Happy Birthday cuz! Enjoy your special day! Love you! ♥
Happy Birthday cuz! Enjoy your special day! Love you!
  • Hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!
Happy Birthday,My Sis!!Hope And Pray You Have A Good Day.God Bless You!!Love Ya!!
Jessica J-Twice Jones wrote on your timeline.
happy birthday
Yvette Rouse wrote on your timeline.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Larita Walker wrote on your timeline.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U CUZIN ENJOY YOUR DAY! I LOVE U
Madrika Jones wrote on your timeline.
happy birthday cre dog…
Mike Walker wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Cuzzin Lacrease!!!
Latoya Dennis wrote on your timeline.
Happy Happy B-Day CUZZZ!!
Tania Barnes-Patterson wrote on your timeline.
CREEEEE HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO!!!
Lolita Jeters wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday To You Lacrease
SCREAMING “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” TO MZ. ZEE!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU WITH MANY MORE!!! YOU HAVE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT!!!!
Happy Birthday Hun Hope Your day Is everything You Want It to Be!!!

Lacrease

Just a quick email to wish you a very happy birthday today from everyone here at BirthdayAlarm.com.

Have a great birthday!

Xochi, Michael and Paul

Happy Birthday Honey! Have a wonderful day tomorrow!

Happy birthday to my other lovely mother who I love wit all my heart….. May u enjoy yo day!!! Love yo other daughter n grandson….. Muah!

Happy Happy Birthday! On this your Special Day and many more Blessed years to come
ENJOY!!!!

Kimberly Cook Okay!
We getting old girl but still looking Good. Happy early B~day then ;~}♡

Happy Birthday, many more Blessings to come your way! Enjoy n be Blessed!!
Happy Birthday Cree Dog
Hey Cree, Cree! Happy birthday to you. I pray you enjoy your day.
Je McClain wrote on your timeline.
happy b day lady
all I can say is you are the BOMB lol have a great and wonderful Birthday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Happy Birthday lady
Happy Birthday! Wish u all the best and a very blessed day hugs
Wow 27 years ago I gave birth to my one and only child Mar’Neishia. Not only is it MY birthday.. but today is her Birthday as well. When I tell you I love this “little gurl”…. I LOVE HER.When I came back to Detroit, she had just moved into her first apartment and I didn’t want to cut in on her time… it killed me. She took me in, gave me her bed, slept on the floor IN HER NEW APARTMENT for 3 months until I was able to get back on my feet….(((tears)))) One day when she was about 13 years old, I took her to a homeless shelter and we help prepare food for the homeless and served it. She told me years later, that experience has made her the woman she is today. When I see her giving to the homeless, and talking and giving money to the youths *summer jobs* that work at her job, it gives me great joy. One day we went to BUFFALO WILD WINGS downtown, as we were waiting for our carry out, a homeless man was sitting in his wheelchair, not even paying us any attention. She all of a sudden got out of the car and went to hold a conversation with him for the longest. She asked him what he wanted to eat, he told her some soup. She walked across the street * I’m sitting in the car crying like a baby* and got him some soup and something to drink. She is the most giving person I’ve even known in my life. I just want to take this time to say being in LABOR with you for 3 days was well worth the “Labor Pains” ((((Mega-Fest Sermon))) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY AND DAUGHTER …WE CALL NITA!!! I LOVE YOU BOOWhere works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Happy birthday Cree love you girl have a blessed and wonderful bday.
Happy Birthday Beautiful!!
Happy birthday cuz virgos rule enjoy your day i love ya
Happy birthday to both you and your daughter. May god continue to bless you both. Enjoy.
Happy birthday to you and your daughter. You are both beautiful daughters of the most high God. God bless and have a blast!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Virgo
Happy Birthday to both of you! May God Bless The Both Of You With Many More To Come!
Happy birthday to my big sisterLacrease Walker I remember growing up I wanted to get your whipping for you, that’s how much I adore you Boywasidumb!!”lol”but I love ya!!and also happy birthday to my niecey pooh neishia,what a special gift!! Your only child on your birthday!! Love you Neishia!!
Happy bday Missy
Happy bday!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOD BLESS
Have a very happy birthday! Enjoy your day

Tracey Prettysmiles Mathies

Hey Cree, HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAY!!!! I hope you and your daughter have the best day EVEEEEERRRRR!!!!!

Renee Bates

the love is strong….(((hugs))) same-ole-LOVE

Happy, Happy Birthday…hugs!
Happy bday

Al Hartman

Hbd baby

Happy birthday and god bless you and your daughter
happy b day boo enjoy
HBD
Happy Birthday Sister! ! I love yu and enjoy it. Woot Woot ..lol
Happy Birthday Lady!
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Cyn Y. Spragueposted toLacrease Walker
ana L. Washington
4 hours ago via Social Calendar
  • May God continue to bless you and expand your territory as He gives you increase. He is faithful to complete the good work that He has begun in you. Sister Crease have a Holy Ghost good time for your birthday and enjoy yourself. Love ya much! Sister Shout On aka Dana L Washington

    Greeting card
-Rica Sewell- wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Auntie.!
Blackbeauty Rea wrote on your timeline.
HAPPY Birthday to Love u sister
Melissa Deshazo Rivers wrote on your timeline.
Happy Bday girlie hope your day brings you all the happiness you deserve it enjoy
Happy Happy Birthday!!!!
Happy birthday girrrllll and love and God bless you ♥♥
Happy Bday to you ms lady
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!!! I HOPE UR DAY IS AS SPECIAL AS U ARE!!! HAVE A BLESSED ONE!!!I LOVE YOU!!!
Photo: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!!! I HOPE UR DAY IS AS SPECIAL AS U ARE!!! HAVE A BLESSED ONE!!! :-) :-*</p><br /><br /> <p> I LOVE YOU!!! <3
Happy Birthday Zee Zee. Enjoy your day and love ya..
Happy Birthday Lacrease!!
Happy Birthday hope you have a wonderful day!!
Happy B-Day Auntie Love u!!!
happy bday!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ENJOY Ur DAY!
  • Rose Hicks She is beautiful. Just a beautiful reflection of you. Happy birthday to you both and have a blessed day. 15 minutes ago · Unlike · 1
  • Mary Cannon Happy Birthday Ladies:-) 2 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
Roblyn Alliciaposted toLacrease Walker 2 minutes ago HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIVA Felicia Lovepeace Baskin-Hardisonposted toLacrease Walker 19 minutes ago Happy birthday Lacrease

Happy Birthday, Hecallmecree!

We know you probably didn’t receive enough presents for all those great things you do, so we got you some awesome quizzes!

Darren Johnsonposted toLacrease Walker
Happy birthday sister I love you and may God continue blessing you with a many many more to come and I hope you enjoy your beautiful day with fun and happiness
Ron Artist
26 minutes ago via Birthdays
  • Happy Brithday God Bless

Janine T. Jeffersonposted toLacrease Walker 18 minutes ago Happy birthday pretty girl! Coffee Brownposted toLacrease Walker 17 minutes ago Happy Birthday TheMrs Jones Happy birthday to you both!! 40 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1 TasteMii Rainbow Wright Oh okay…I talk 2 BF! She gon call me when she go on break! 33 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1 Tracy Bushposted toLacrease Walker 13 minutes ago HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!! Heather Marieposted toLacrease Walker 21 minutes ago near Grosse Pointe Woods via mobile Happy birthday to you wonderful woman. I love you so much! Proud Mommieeposted toLacrease Walker 34 minutes ago via mobile Happy Birthday Auntie Enjoy LOVE Ya ♡♥ Brittney Pippen Happy Birthday auntieeeeee! I thank God you made it another year! Enjoy your day beautiful! I love you sooooo much! 45 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1 Vrai Belleposted toLacrease Walker 7 seconds ago via mobile Happy Birthday Cree Cree!!

Janell Walker

24 minutes ago near Detroit
To Zee first I must say having you 40 something yrs ago, made my life worth living, I had a very good reason to enjoy my life you were born the joy of my life God gave you to me to raise. All of my childen and grandchildren,I could’nt ask for better. I must say thanks to my heavenly Father for all of yous Happy Birthday sweetheart, your proud mother, Janell

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You, S Atiya Simm Wil, Tammy Frazier and Tarianna McCain like this. Lacrease Walker Mommaaaaaaa you making me cry harderrrrrrrrr…. OMG Thank you I love you Janell Walker I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU 5 minutes ago · Like Lacrease Walker Lacrease Walker 5 minutes ago · Like Annie Chappell-Hamiltonposted toLacrease Walker about a minute ago Happy Birthday my friend, enjoy your day!

Happy birthday cree!!!
Wishing you nothing but the best and tell your baby I said happy birthday to!

Happy Birthday Lacrease!
Happy Birthday …. Have a super fabulous day!
Kiera Walkerposted toLacrease Walker
20 minutes ago

Happy birthday Ms.Lacrease hope you enjoy it honey, and wish you many many more — feeling happy.

Trevious Laneposted toLacrease Walker 36 minutes ago Happy B Day Girly…Njoy your day! Dani Soclassy Vannposted toLacrease Walker 39 minutes ago via mobile Happy bday Randall Dunn about an hour ago via Birthdays May your day be filled with joy and happiness Latisha Germany wrote on your timeline. Today at 5:31pm HBD, Cuz…enjoy your day and may God bless you sweetie Mzglorian Germany wrote on your timeline. Today at 5:52pm Hbd LaTanya Marshall wrote on your timeline. Today at 5:28pm Happy Birthday My Virgo Sistah!! Wishing you a beautiful & blessed day:-) Miiss Ladiiee HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U BOTH. GOD BLESS AND MANY MANY MORE TO COME. 37 minutes ago via mobile · Like Lynn Robinson Happy birthday to the both of you. Enjoy. 13 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Neish Walk THANK YOU EVERYONE! I LOVE YOU MAMA! Lacrease Walker 3 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Neish Walk HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Lacrease Walker 3 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Shanecia Croxton Wow!!!!! She is a beautiful person inside and out!!! You did a wonderful job Lacrease Walker!!!! about a minute ago via mobile · Unlike · 1 Lacrease Walker (((((((((hugs thanks everyone…))))))))) a few seconds ago · Like Kim Larryposted toLacrease Walker about a minute ago via mobile Happy birthday lady. …..enjoy ur day
Shatya Brown Happy birthday to you and your beautiful one and only baby girl
Happy Birthday, lady!
Hey zee happy birthday to you and nesha I love yall enjoy ya day
My sis, Cree, I wish you a very Happy Birthday today as well as a new year filled with happiness and wonderful blessings!
Happy Birthday Lacrease. Enjoy!

 

Happy Birthday Sugar…..Wish You Many More…..

Derrick Hughes

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

 

Latrese Bufkin happy bday to you and your daughter

 

Cree! Hope you had a fabulous Birthday! Hope to see you soon at a concert!
So proud of you Zzz and you are still Beautiful inside and out.
Photo: So proud of you Zzz and you are still Beautiful inside and out.
Happy Birthday, Lacrease!
Have a Truly Joyful Beautiful Wonderful Prosperous and Sensationally Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday Gorgeous young lady
Happy Birthday Lacrease God bless enjoy!
Nearly missed it…………..HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET PEA!!!!!!
Hap’ P Birthday
2 ya
Hap’ P Birthday
2 ya
Happy Birthdayyyyyy!

 

 

Wow 27 years ago I gave birth to my one and only child Mar’Neishia. Not only is it MY birthday.. but today is her Birthday as well. When I tell you I love this “little gurl”…. I LOVE HER.

When I came back to Detroit, she had just moved into her first apartment and I didn’t want to cut in on her time… it killed me. She took me in, gave me her bed, slept on the floor IN HER NEW APARTMENT for 3 months until I was able to get back on my feet….(((tears)))) One day when she was about 13 years old, I took her to a homeless shelter and we help prepare food for the homeless and served it. She told me years later, that experience has made her the woman she is today. When I see her giving to the homeless, and talking and giving money to the youths *summer jobs* that work at her job, it gives me great joy. One day we went to BUFFALO WILD WINGS downtown, as we were waiting for our carry out, a homeless man was sitting in his wheelchair, not even paying us any attention. She all of a sudden got out of the car and went to hold a conversation with him for the longest. She asked him what he wanted to eat, he told her some soup. She walked across the street * I’m sitting in the car crying like a baby* and got him some soup and something to drink. She is the most giving person I’ve even known in my life. I just want to take this time to say being in LABOR with you for 3 days was well worth the “Labor Pains” ((((Mega-Fest Sermon))) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY AND DAUGHTER …WE CALL NITA!!! I LOVE YOU BOO

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

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Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

 

 

  • PEACE AND BLESSINGS LACREASE WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IM BELIVING GOD FOR HIS FAVOR,LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO OVERTAKE YOU ON THIS DAY. YOU ARE TRULY A VESSEL OF HONOR TO THE BODY OF CHRIST, I LOVE YOU CUZZ BLESSING TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, SUPPORTIVE FAMILY.
Happy birthday lacrease.. May god continue to bless you!!!!
Happy BIRTHDAY from Tennessee. Love you girl.
HAPPPPPPPYYYY, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY EVER MY SISTER!!!! LOVE YOU!!!!!
Happy B’day sis, have a blessed day.
Happy Birthday, Cree. Don’t eat too much cake.
Enjoy your awesome day sis love you
Happy Birthday zee. Have a beautiful day. God Bless you.

Unlike · · · 9 minutes ago via mobile ·

Virgooooo
Happy Birthday to you and your gift from God.Hope you both enjoyed or are still enjoying your day.
hbd my baby & many, many more
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Lacrease, enjoy!
Laura Dorrell wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Lacrease!!! Enjoy your very special day!!!!oxoxo

Tonya Mitchell wrote on your timeline.
Happy birthday to u both hope u enjoy it love u guys 🙂
HAPPY BORN DAY AUNTIE LOVE U ENJOY..
TELL NEISHA HAPPY BDAY TOO…
LaTasha Ursin wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Girlie
Leeandria Hardison wrote on your timeline.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND SO MANY MORE…
Darron Lee wrote on your timeline.
HAPPY BDAY ENJOY YOUR DAY
Angela Wilkins wrote on your timeline.
Happy Happy Birthday & Many More! We need more people in the world like U!:-) Enjoy!
󾔗󾔑󾆶󾔐󾔖
HAPPY BIRTHDAY󾬓❤󾬖
Doreyna James wrote on your timeline.
happy birthday girlfriend enjoy
Kathy Captain wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday Enjoy
Gloria Glass wrote on your timeline.
Happy birthday longtime friend enjoy and have a bless one
Michael B Primus wrote on your timeline.
Lacrease Walker, Happy birthday, Its your Earthday enjoy My friend :-)..
DeMartez Potter wrote on your timeline.
Happy birthday
Renae Ross wrote on your timeline.
Happy Birthday!
Happy Burfffday Boo u and Neisha
HAPPY BDAY 2 MY SUGGAFOOT BAYBBBBBBBBBBB ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!LUV U GURLLLLLLLLLL
Happy Birthday Auntie I Love you I hope you enjoy every bit of it and may God Bless you with many many many more.!!!!!
Happy bday Neisha….hope u njoy

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Comment…. or disconnect? Cree’s Blog Entry

big likeAs the days go by I am reminded by God to take deep breaths as he continue to work with me on my Anger issues. I am not afraid to declare this issue of mines. As a matter of fact, it has helped me to STAY CONSCIENCE of arising situations that causes me to speak on a matter when nothing needs to be said.

This morning, I was having a moment when I wanted to comment on a post on FB that was a result of what I posted on yesterday. Instead of commenting on my post, this person made their own . I wanted so badly to comment.. but I know me… I don’t just comment…. I CAN SHUT THE WHOLE STAT DOWN….no curse words…. just TRUTH. But God asked me… “must you fight off all fools Cree”? He said now, you either continue reading and NOT COMMENT…. or totally disconnect… chose one? LOL LOL

He also revealed to me another reason why I have this issue with anger. He reminded me that when we were coming up as teens, me, my brother plus 2 sisters. We had real true friends. Our porch was the one everybody came to sit at EVERYDAY. To this day we still have the same friends… all of them are still in our lives after 32-35 years… everyone is still alive. WE never talked about each other, we never turned on each other, we all loved each other and people saw that in our friendships. We didn’t fight each other AT ALL.. PERIOD…. NEVER EVER.. AT ALL. NOT ONCE. We argued and debated but we were cool everyday. And so, this mentality of how I view friends took me over into my adult years. I went to a Wrap and Wine party this past Saturday at my good friend Gloria’s house. I met 10 women… not one thing I had to say about any of them when I left. You know how when you leave a function, or gathering, and there is something to be said negative about someone… anyone…. I’m not use to that type of mentality. So, I’m like okay God.. how does this tie into me? Well, that’s one of my triggers. When people ALWAYS have negative things to say about others. I don’t like that.

Now I am silly… If I’m out to dinner with some friends, and one of them are throwing down on some food and its a silly moment.. I may say something stupid like…. OOO chile you putting that fork da WORK BABY!!! LOL But everybody knows I’m silly and will expect for me to say it. Now…… if that person is not riding home with me, and I’m with others that was there….. I may hit back on that subject, in a funny NON OFFENDING WAY. And its going to be something said that I would say to THAT person I’m speaking about. I wouldn’t DARE go call up another person and talk and bring it up. That’s childish to me, and its drama filled. But to say… oooo that dress she had on was a mess, or she know she was busting out. WE * * just don’t disrespect our friendships like that. As friends we don’t talk about each other, if we offend, we talk, debate, and kiss and make up on the spot. I don’t sit at the table with folks who I will talk about, and dog out when I’m not in their presence.

NOW, I SAY THAT TO SAY….. I am offended by the way people today just totally talk down to each other, diss, curse, and are ready to fight each other these days. We allow so many people to “geek” us up to go with the popular, that we don’t even realize that its going to hurt us in the long run. This type of disrespectful behavior gets into my soul and breaks me down. Why even be around people you have to discuss and talk about? What point is that? I’m just saying people, … we have to do better with our energy. I’m so happy that I’m learning my triggers. So let me name them…. BULLIES, PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT OTHERS IN A MALICE AND MALICIOUS way, people who are RUDE.. and folks who DO NOT KNOW/CARE TOO… HOW TO TALK TO ANOTHER PERSON in a respectful tone. But….. I’ve been doing soooooooooo good… yeaaaaaaaa. I’m proud of myself. Chat layta.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

A story that will warm your heart…. Crees Blog Entry

GOT A STORY TO SHARE : FROM MY FACEBOOK FRIEND CYNTHIA….. SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY

CYN AND JOHNHubby and I went to Olive Garden to have dinner..as we were sitting there waiting to be seated this little girl came and sit down beside us. I would say she was about 7 years old. She kept looking and then she was staring..I smiled at her and she smiles back. Then she said, ” Do you both live together?” I said, ” yes, We are married” So she kept staring and then I said, ” Have you ever seen a black and white couple together?’ She shook her head no. Then she said, ” Do you have any kids together?” I said,” No, but he was married before me and he had a wife, she died and went to heaven and they had kids, and now their kids have small children so we are grandparents.” She said, ” Why couldn’t you have any kids together.” I said, ” We got to old!” I smiled and she started laughing..I continued talking to her and I said,” So that’s ok right?” She shook her head yes and smiled.Then I asked her, ” Do you have any black friends at school?” She said ” No. I don’t have any.’ I asked what school did she got to. She told she is at a new school this year and she was telling me about her old school. So she just kept smiling at me and staring at me. I asked her , ‘What’s your name?” She said, ” Riley.” I said ” nice to meet you Riley, I’m Cynthia and his name is John.” She got up and stood up and looked up at John smiling and looked back at me smiling..So next to us where her parents, as I thought they were her parents , come to find out it was her adopted grandparents..and I told them our conversation and the grandmother said Both girls had been not around alot of people..but I did commended to the grandmother, that she was very polite and was very curious..she spoke so pleasant and she was very friendly. The grandfather looked a little unpleasant at first when I began telling the story and I think he thought I was going to be upset and then when the grandmother and I started laughing and smiling about it..John and I saw he was a little bit more relaxed and he started smiling bigger as I continue telling what this little girl asked John and I . I told the grandmother, despite her not being around any Black people..I felt like she wanted to learn and this is a step towards learning and getting to know other people from different races..She smiled and said ” Thank you for being so nice to her.” I told her, ” I really enjoyed my conversation with Riley and I hope she has learned something from our short conversation.” I told the grandmother, ” Thank you for helping to raise such a smart and polite little child.” I said to Riley as she was sitting down, ” I’m your first Black friend.” She smiled really big. Her grandmother told her, ” Riley, you met your first Black friend tonight.” She nodded her head and smiled. We said our good byes and Riley waved at me as we were called to our seating. I know some people would find it uncomfortable with the lady saying that but I didn’t..maybe it opened up something to them they had not ever had to approach. I don’t know.

I hope Riley spreads her love for people her whole life and I hope she helps someone else understand that we may all be of different race but we are all the same through and through.

As I sit here and type this, I have this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart and I’m a bit choked up with tears..I hope Riley has a happy life and embrace everyone no matter what color skin they have. I’m so happy that I was the first Black person that touched her life as I may never see her again. But I will always remember that sweet little face of hers. — feeling wonderful.

My Virgo Friend, Married Men….Cree’s Blog Entry

creefaceI was just going through the papers in my file cabinet and I wrote a love story about 15 years ago. I’m reading it now and its so interesting how I came up with it. I realized that in my story I used so many things that was real life to me at that time. For instance my family and friends, things that happened that I totally forgot was added in the story. Different people I knew… I even forgot about them. LOL So as a writer, I see and know for my self that a lot of movies, and books people write have something to do with their own personal experiences, people they know, places and events that actually happened. Wow…. so it inspired me to start another LOVE STORY as I type this. It just flows out of my head… yeah I’m such a nerd while everyone is out enjoying the summer, I find myself reading and writing all day, just as I did as a child. Well, at least I have that option… I can jump in my van and go anywhere I want….. but this… I CHOOSE.

So, I made friends with my Virgo friend who lives in the building. I guess he seen that yeah… I was nice…yeah I did share a lot…. and yeah I have teeth too…. that bite. I can tell he missed me. I missed his crazy self too. Whew that man knows he love to debate…. and strong minded whew…. but I’m a VIRGO too…. and I can go just as hard. But that’s not who I want to be. He called me, and we talked. He told me that he found him two housekeepers who come cook and clean for him…. Yeaaaaa…. cause <SHE> aint the one. I understand that he needed it, and that’s all good….. but I’m NOT <HER>…… at all. I’m trying to do <ME>…. my daughter is grown, living on her own.. and making good money for herself.

So, I have this other friend….I met him about 10 years ago. We dated, at first I liked him, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. When I like a man, I like to visualize being with him… not so much as sexual. But when he’s not around… I like to think about him, and try to remember his scent, his kisses. With this guy I just wasn’t feeling him in this way. He really liked me, and I liked him as a friend and so it didn’t work out. We were never sexually involved, we did communicate a lot, but I wasn’t feeling him that way. Well one day after several years had passed, when I was working at Walmart, he came through my line and looked at me REAL MEAN and said…..” I’m getting married” then walked OUT. LOL I was like OKKKKKKK. * laughs a little*. Aint gon lie… did leave me feeling some kinda way. Not so much as…. dang… I wish it was me…. but I wonder what was behind him telling me about it this way?

I was happy for him, but then after several years, he started calling me wanting to talk about how he and his wife separated. I listened to him, we were friends and I was happy for him. When someone is not your type, and you cant see yourself with them….I feel its okay to talk every now and then, as long as the conversation never becomes sexual. He introduced me to her, and we were cool. One day he came up to my job, when he saw me, I guess he had flash backs I don’t know. He’s about 6’5. as I reached up to hug him, he grabbed both of my booty cheeks and squeezed them. I was sooooooooooooooooo mad, and sooooooooo embarrassed. He kept apologized 1000 times saying he was sorry, and that he couldn’t help it. OMG I was ON FIRE!!! At my job? A Virgo? He’s married? That’s one thang you don’t do….. is embarrass a VIRGO. I said to him… its going to be a LONG time before you see me again… I hope your hands are happy boo.

I made good on that promise. YEARS AND YEARS LATER.. LOL One day recently he text me out of the blue. He tells me that he and his wife is fine and that they are together… and you know me…. I’m happy for him. Very good. Praise God. The conversation is going so good…. then he sends several photos of himself wrapped in a towel. Disrespectful to the 100th power. I came to the conclusion that we can’t be friends at all period. He doesn’t know how to act. He cant help it.. okay I get it. But you will not DISRESPECT your WIFE…. and dam sure not ME. I never responded. He kept apologizing as he always does.

The point I’m TRYING to make is………. women stop settling for these types of men. Don’t let these kinds of men creep into your household, and make you apart of him. A person who has a WIFE… family, and you on the side. I realize that as long as I’m his “friend” I am apart of his BS…. mentally speaking. And I don’t even like him like that….. I KNOW better than this. Then last week, he got on Facebook, showing photos of him and his wife plus kids at Universal Studios. Which he has EVERY RIGHT to do. Married women do the same thing…. always keeping that “friend” on the side… yea she may really be JUST a friend…. but when it because a sexual conversation… someone took it to another level. LEAVE THAT ALONE!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Almost a year……. Cree’s Blog Entry

lori marry“Sometimes I feel as if I should have kept my ass on the shore” Just a thought that pops in my mind every now and then when I think about this time last year, when I was preparing to move to Georgia…..but when I think about things to come…. I laugh.

I left for Georgia on my Birthday last year Sept 3. Almost a year ago. Life has really changed for me since then. Every time I move, there is always a shift for me…. I always end up doing better than before. I think its me this time. I’m learning to completely change the way I look at things, and I want so badly to do things God’s way. I’m more quiet and try to think before I speak. My world was moving so fast. I am a different woman from who I was last year. I can see it and feel it. More humble, more of a listener and slow to speak.

I am very much at Peace, but there are still some answers I need from God. And I’m asking them daily. My finances has changed very much. Those 10 years I lived at my other place. I didn’t want for anything. I always had money, went out of town 2 and 3 times a year. Took long vacations from work. I was going to the movies * I love this* every week, going to the grocery store buying things for the house to last me for 6 months…that’s the kinda shopping I like to do. I was the loaner….. but baaaby when I say thangs has change in that area…… believe it. LOL

I haven’t been able to stock up like I do when it comes to my soap, tissue, dish washing liquid, Ajax, toothpaste and those kinds of things. I don’t go to the movies like I enjoy doing as much, not even going to dinner with friends. Things are really tight for me, and I don’t like it one bit. I keep thinking about Georgia so I know that I’m going back there, why am I not happy like I can see myself being? I have visions so deep, and I KNOW they’re going to come to pass. They ALWAYS do. I miss my concerts….* tears*.

Today, I was driving and was complaining about all of these things, then God said… think about the things you are blessed for. By the time I got half way through my thoughts of all the good he has done for me since being back, I was in tears. Sometimes we can look at everything that’s not going well, and totally forget about the BLESSINGS. I felt good all day.

I’m happy for my friend Lori of 10 plus years… she’s getting MARRIED next year… and her sister is getting MARRIED in Oct of this year. I just got my invite in the mail a few days ago….. I’m so happy for them both.  I can’t wait to see them both walk down the aisle. They are so close, and I just love their Sisterly Relationship. Talk about talks over dinner, me and Lori use to get it in!!!!!!!!!! I love when she calls me for advice, I’ve always been her gurl for that. So Congratulations to Lori and Lecia!!!! * Lori at the top… Lecia at the bottom*

lecia
Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

I remember * as a young gurl* Cree’s Blog Entry

ImageI remember one day my mom was making chicken and noodles. We loved chicken and noodles, but this was the day before pay day, and as she was stirring the pot a piece of the ceiling fell off into the pot. I remember that hurting my/our feelings so bad. We talk about that and laugh to this day.
 
 
 
I remember my dad use to get off work and take us out to dinner every Friday to Big Boys. We use to love it. I remember asking my parents could my friend go. But when they said No, I never realize or understood that if she went, it would be more money to pay, as it was already 6 of us.
 
 
 
I remember when it was time for report cards, my daddy use to be on it. My stomach hurt all the way to school and all the way home.
 
 
 
I remember when I made a pickle out of a cucumber, I was so geeked.
 
 
 
 
I remember we use to go to Belle Island and ride the giant slide. We had to climb 100 steps or better just for a 8 second ride. LOL LOL LOL *wow*
 
 
 
I remember when my parents use to go grocery shopping we had to stay in the house until they got home. By me being the oldest I didn’t want any trouble with them. But my sister couldn’t wait until they left so that she could go outside and play inside of those minutes they were gone. I was scared for her, because if she got caught it was over for me and her. She never did. We laugh and talk about that to this day.
 
 
 
I remember when my mother use to say ” just me and you are going shopping on Saturday”. I was SO HAPPY just to be with her, none of my other siblings went. But I hated the time when it was their turn to go shopping, and not mines. 😦
 
 
 
I remember when I was 14 my mom took me to my first concert and it was to see PRINCE. I loved him so much. One day my mom told me that I was going to out grow him, and that he wasn’t going to be my style anymore. I was SO MAD AT HER for saying that, because I felt it wasn’t true. Even though I LOVE me some PRINCE today….* that will NEVER change*… my taste in men has SURELY changed. LOL
 
 
 
I remember when my BFF Michelle who lived next door, cousins would come to Detroit from Chicago she would act funny and never talk to me. Then when they were gone, she would be my friend. I always took her back.
 
 
 
I remember working this summer job that had us cleaning out the upstairs of a roller rink. It was so nasty, dirty, hot, and so much debris up there, that I knew we were doing the work of MEN. I told my dad, and he was so mad when he saw the work they had us doing. He called the news and since the man who had us doing it was a public figure, it was all over . My BFF to this day was working with me * that’s how we met*, the news asked her if she can come to my house so that they can interview us. WE DIDNT KNOW WE WERE GOING TO BE ON THE NEWS. We thought it was just going to be a newspaper interview and that was it. Well after it hit the press, they went and shut that site down. Some of the people who worked with me, was so mad!!! I lost friends by going to the news, they all had to be relocated and had to catch buses to their new site. They were not happy with us at all. I was so embarrassed I never worked under the City of Detroit at a summer job again. Everywhere I went people knew me. I was dating a police officer, he came to my house while on duty and told me that he saw me in the paper, he was impressed…… I was depressed. * Looking back on it, it was the first sign of me understanding why I’m different. I stand up for what’s right, and will go to great lengths to carry OUT JUSTICE.*
 
 
 
 
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

laughing at myself…Cree’s Blog Entry

40 PLUSI’m laughing at myself tonight. Today on FB, I posted a video of me driving downtown to the River walk from my apartment and couldn’t decide if I wanted to make it private or to share it. I knew that if I shared it, someone was going to call me and say… ” why didn’t you ask me to go downtown with you”. 

No more than 10 minutes afterward, my momma called me and said ” I see you went downtown today huh”? ( I use to take her riding all the time before I moved downtown.) Feeling guilty…. I said “momma that video is 3 weeks old”… dayum I feel so bad that I lied. So bad. But I don’t want to hear her say.. you know I would have liked to go riding. Then my Sister called, and said yeah you went downtown today huh? I told her the same thing, (((what’s wrong with me)))), but then I told her the truth. Then I started thinking where did this come from? I KNOW where, but that’s a different story. 

Thing is I know they’re not trying to make me feel bad, its that they want to be with me. Me and my mommy are very close, and by us living apart, she really misses me. So after lying to her today…. I made a date with her for Monday to go downtown, to take a walk on the River Walk… she’s happy. But I still feel bad for lying, this is nothing to lie about. I do this all the time. And I TOOK THE VIDEO DOWN. SMH I think I feel bad because I’m happy and have Peace, and don’t want to share it. Not that my family and friends don’t bring Peace. I just enjoy doing things alone.
 

This is what people don’t know, or seem to FORGET about me. I have always been the fun gurl. The one who can make you laugh, can gather a group together and all be on the same page, I love to have a good time. In my 20’s I use to throw a backyard party every month. People would stop me on the street and say.. you’re that gurl who throw those parties? If I wasn’t throwing parties I was at a cabaret, or club. I went out 5-6 times a week. I have been all over clubbing. Hosting hustle parties, playing cards drinking and talking junk all night until daylight. This was every other night. 

I enjoy being alone now. I like to get cute, get in my car and go. I feel so bad, that I feel this way. And let me say this… its not that I don’t want to be with anyone, its just that I enjoy being alone. I know if my mom come with me, I would have a good time. I know that if I call a friend to go, we would laugh it up sitting at the Detroit River. I know this. And I have nothing against anyone….. I’m the kind of person that enjoys myself. I’m always thinking about the next person…..but I must say. I have to learn how to share myself. I notice that I am very selfish when it comes to me. Now I’m starting to see my daughter like this…. not good. 

I just planned my trip to Atlanta next year. I want to go alone, but I know someone is going to want to go with me. Of course I’m going to say yes, and I know we’re going to have a great time… thing is… I really could take this trip alone and feel so good. How did I get to this place? There was a time when I wouldn’t DO ANYTHING ALONE! LOL LOL… But along with my Anger issues, I’m promising myself to work on this too.
My dad called me tonight and went off on me because I haven’t called him in 2 days… OH BOY…
 

Okay, so on Monday I’m going to tell my momma the truth…. I’m going to call my daddy every other day…and I’m going to spend more time with my friends. I love them all, I just realized that I spent a lot of time entertaining them in the past, I now enjoy entertaining myself. 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Who R U LaCrease? Part 4 *final* Cree’s Blog Entry @tylerperry

keeping my mouth shutPART 4……..    But in order to do that… I had to ask God…where did this come from? Lord, why do I get upset when someone is sharing with me a story about what someone else did to them? Why do I take it to heart so deeply? Why am I so emotionally connected to their story? Why are my insides on fire as they tell the story? Why do I even care?
I was fed up with my own behavior of trying to “fight” everyday with people about how they treat others. So, I sat down with the TV off and started asking God why am I this way? There has to be a root, where did this begin? All of a sudden I started thinking about my childhood. I was bullied in school. I was bullied because I was different and did my own thing. I admire people who do their “own thing” and not what others did….. unless they like it. If you don’t like what I do, that you wouldn’t do… don’t comment on MY stuff. My dad knew I was different too. I feel to this day that he was a major part of why I have a thing against bullies. For example. Say for instance our light bill was due tomorrow. My dad would spend the money, have fun with it, and worry about that when…. the shut off FINAL NOTICE came. Me, on the other hand, if I had a shut off notice, I would pay the bill, so that I could have PEACE, and not be in the middle of a conversation with someone laughing it up, then all of a sudden …. I THINK OF THIS LIGHT BILL THAT’S GOING TO BE SHUT OFF AT ANY MOMENT. In my daddy’s eyes, I would be considered “silly” in a BULLY FORM OF WAY for thinking like this, and for worrying way to much about it. That always bothered me. It made me feel like this…. If I did things or think things differently than you, mines is considered “STUPID” but yours is considered “SMART”. In my eyes that’s a form of “bullying”.
So, as I got older and realized that the gurl who always stayed in the house, people loved me for how different I was. I was NEVER popular in school, but when I started working and living on my own, people connected with me in a HUGE WAY. Because I was different. I stuck up for the “under dogs”. If I saw you messing with someone and they looked like they didn’t want to be apart… I would say something in a nice tone, and let you know… “we don’t do that here”. I felt that I was that voice for them, but it came from my own place when I was a child.
Then God reminded me of a time when a coworker came to me and said Cree I have something to tell you, but I have to tell you when I call you later, because I know you’re going to be mad. That right there, sent my gauge up to 100. LOL I begged her to tell me now, but she didn’t. When she told me the story later, yep I was mad.. ON FIYAH. Long story short. Me and that coworker was standing around waiting for customers, when our boss son came in. He was good looking, 4 years younger than my daughter. When my boss introduced us to him, we said “oh he’s handsome a good looking guy’… and that was the end of that. Didn’t this BOSS/MANAGER go and tell the other MANAGERS that we were all over her son, and that we were acting like “cougars”, and she also said, women like us is the reason why he don’t come up to the job. PISSED ME OFF. First of all, the lil short sawed off rut…. didn’t look like much, second of all, we both have kids who are GROWN and OLDER THAN HIM, and third of all…. we like men in their late 40’s early 50’s. WHAT?????????? So since I’m faithful to my word and friend about not mentioning anything. We both speak to the Manager, but we keep it moving….we don’t deal with her like that.
Then God bought to my remembrance about how I take up for Tyler Perry when people talk bad about him. I connect with Tyler because we share a lot of child hood issues. I love him as a brother, and a long time ago I adopted in my mind that he is just like me. People talk about him because he’s different, he do things his own way. I LOVE and ADMIRE that about him. When I take up for him, I see us as kids, and since I’m older than him. I see myself as the big sister. And NOBODY is going to talk about MY BROTHER!!! I never shared this with anyone, but when I use to read my google alerts on him and the article was bad and the comments were even worst. I would get on there and SHUT THE WHOLE BOARD DOWN… I would nut up on anyone who had anything negative to say about him. Again it goes back to my child hood, its a form of BULLYING in my mind.
One day I came across this page and this white lady was talking about Tyler, I sent her a email and this is how it went.
RE: Backstage
I am a faithful fan of Tyler Perry. As I read your post about him and read your sarcasm….. I was upset to see that you were taking shots at him. For NO reason. If you’re going to write about a story…. WRITE IT. Leave your remarks out.
But then I realized it was YOU…. who looked stupid. Lindsey had a daughter NOT a son. Trying to make Tyler look bad, you need to be FIRED. Get it together PROFESSIONAL writer.
Then she sent this back to me: Hi lacrease,My name is * took her name out* I’m sorry if my post about the Tyler Perry Foundation offended you. Until your comment I didn’t know there actually was such an organization.I’ve taken the liberty of changing the name and removing the Tyler Perry Foundation from the post but the post itself remains.I’m not against people with GID or those who opt for sexual reassignment surgery. It wasn’t my intention to offend you but I’m sorry if I did.Regards,
After doing this…. I decided that I cannot fight these BULLIES, if Tyler Perry can keep it moving, than so can I. This is what God has been showing me for the longest about myself. I’m the same way with HOMELESS people. Don’t let me hear someone talking down on them, I will have a fit. Don’t talk about anyone who is less fortunate. Don’t mis treat kids, BECAUSE THEY DO KIDS STUFF….another issue that God should me. My coworker stopped me from what I was doing and asked me to come over to her, because she had something to tell me. When I got to her, she asked me….. WHY DO YOU GIVE THESE KIDS MONEY? PISSED ME OFF. My heat Gauge went to 100. Before I knew it I started nutting up, no curse words, or loud talking… NONE OF THAT…. I basically told her that I was grown, I do what I want with my money, and that you have NO IDEA of how many people gave me money as a child and adult, and this is my pay off. That was truly the day, she became my “friend”. She got me…. she knew then that I was my OWN WOMAN in my OWN LANE, doing my OWN THING, with my OWN MIND….
Since God showed me these things about myself. I’m learning to kinda emotionally disconnect from the people I love so much. I love my family and friends. I get to tied into their story and take it to heart. I ‘ve been doing sooooo good lately. God reminds me when I’m in the middle of a test, so that I can think about it as its happening, and to pay attention to my “heat gauge”. LOL I can listen to a story and not be so quick to get upset, or offer my “opinion” about it so quickly. I realize that God is in control and that I don’t have to “mentally fight” off bullies, and take up for the underdog, or hear a story and get upset about it, because its a LIE, MEAN, BULLYISH, or GOSSIP. I’m learning to “keep it moving”. I don’t have to take up for my Brother Tyler Perry who I LOVE so dearly anymore. He can handle his own affairs, and people are going to say what they want about him and everybody else too. I have gotten emails and DM from people who ask me…. do you see Tyler Perry for your husband? LOL I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at them, I can see no further than me and he as kids, being different and trying to make it. I couldn’t understand it myself, until God should me the connection.
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/syleena-johnson-iyanla-vanzant_n_3677969.html I was watching Fix My Life with Syleena Johnson and when she asked why she still feels this way about her mom Iyanla replied :”because when you were a little person the big people were behaving badly… and then you grow up…. but you never shifted your relationship with those big people… so in your life she’s still a big person bullying you… and your response is that of a 4 year old… you ever learned how else to be. THAT WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH……THAT WAS THE MOMENT I GOT IT…. I AM A GROWN WOMAN… FIGHTING AS A CHILD IN MY ADULT MIND AND LIFE. TELL ME SOMEBODY GOT THAT? That video is ME FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. THIS WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH.
Everyday there is a test for me…. I have to be open at all times for the warning…. hey maybe there will be times when God doesn’t warn me. LOL I know him…. there will be those times. But the bigger picture here is that I WANT to be a better person, and yes I love my family and friends, but I have to emotionally disconnect from the issues, not to make it mines, to not take on the emotionally responsibility of fixing the issue. But at the same time continue to help them out in anyway I can, * I love talking to people* but not to make it mines.
Thanks for reading, and please learn from MY Life Lessons.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

“WHO R U PART 2 CREE’S BLOG ENTRY (((must read)))

relationship with godPART 2…

Here’s what I found out…..That while growing up I always had a desire to keep PEACE in my life and to those all around me. I was that kid that when my momma said.. get up and wash dishes…. I got up and washed dishes. If she said be home by 9… I was home by 8:30. If my dad said to me have this house cleaned up by the time he got home… so it was. My dad was (((and still can be))) a manipulator. I didn’t know what it was then, but I knew that when he wasn’t happy, he wanted to make everybody around him miserable. GOD.. I HATED THAT!!!! He could come into the house and set off the whole atmosphere. He would turn the TV when he knew we were watching something, made us do stuff, he would just create a space that was unbearable.

As I got in my teens and started working, he would ask me for a few dollars here and there, and I would give it to him. But there were times when I had other plans with my money, and boy did he make it hard for me. In order to have PEACE in the house when he wanted money to buy liquor, play his lottery or gas money, he would purposely start an argument with me, and for PEACE sake I would give in. This went on for years. Then I watched him do it to my sisters. When I moved out at 22, he continued to call me and ask for money when he needed it. And when I didn’t give it to him, he would be mad at me for weeks and weeks. For the life of me, I still can’t understand how a father/mother can be mad at their own kids for this long period of time. ((((shaking my head)))) When me and my siblings get mad at each other we make up on the spot!

So at age 22 my calm sweet Spirit attracted MANY people. I love PEACE and people see it, they want to be apart of it, they are a magnet to me… and as I grew up in LOVE and demand PEACE.. I found myself being a FREE THERAPIST for everyone. LOL I LOVED it and still do!!! I love talking and listening to people (((( THIS IS WHO I AM))) and what was going on with them, helped me in so many ways to figure out my own ISSUES. But in the process I lost myself. I got caught up in showing so much LOVE, that I have neglected myself. Not only that.. but I realized that not everyone knows how to receive LOVE.

I met this lady at my job, she was a year older than me. We worked together, and became really good friends. She didn’t have siblings and wasn’t close with her mom. I enjoyed talking with her and talking about the things that went along in her relationship. After that didn’t work she moved out of town and we still stayed in touch. Knowing that she was in another city I was often worried about her. I remember one day I called her and didn’t get an answer. It was very unusual since we talked nearly everyday and every week. I called her so much that day it had to be about 11-12 times straight. But she was there all along, not feeling like answering the phone.

Here is a piece of that email she wrote to me….. I HAVE HAD
E———–NOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS
IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG TO BE CALLING ME THE WAY YOU HAVE.
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU
BEFORE. YOUR CALLS DONT MOVE ME! WHEN I HAVE TIME I WILL
CALL YOU. I AM ON A MISSION AND WILL NOT EXPLAIN MYSELF! IT
SADDENS ME THAT YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO AN ALL TIME LOW. ITS
DISGRACEFUL! DISRESPECTFUL AND TRULY INCONSIDERATE! IF THERE
IS NO EMERGENCY THERE IS NO EXCUSE AND GOD NEEDS TO CONVICT
YOUR HEART ON THIS MATTER. AT THE DROP OF A DIME YOU CAN
ENCOURAGE PEOPLE NOT TO CALL SOMEONE IF THEY HAVE CALLED
THEM SEVERAL TIMES AND THEY HAVENT RETURNED THEIR CALL. THEN
WHY CANT YOU TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE MISSY! ALL I CAN SAY IS
WOW YOU ARE TRULY OUT OF CONTROL! AND WHEN I STOP WHAT IM
DOING TO ANSWER THE PHONE AFTER A GAZILLION CALLS, YOU HAVE
NOTHING TO SAY BUT HI.
YOU-CAN-NOT-CONTROL-ANYTHING-BUT-YOU! TO TRY AND FORCE
SOMEONE TO CALL YOU BACK AND SHOW THEM YOU WILL BADGER THEM
at all cost IS NOT THE WAY TO DO things. YOU GET NOOOOOOOO
RESULTS! AS YOU SAY “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER THINGS PEOPLE
HAVE PLANNED WHEN YOU CALL THEM” THE SAME RULES APPLY TO
YOU.
PRAYING ALL IS WELL
BE BLESSED

And in another email that day…. she wrote:

Its soooooooooooo sad,
That my friend has a case of road rage at the mouth and cannot control herself. It saddens me that you interject your comments when I didn’t ask for your opinion. Its clear that you lack the ability to listen. How can you argue MY opinion.
You have issues with your mouth and listening without offering your opinion when not needed. You got a big loud mouth and you need to learn to control yourself missy! I have a friend with no self control of the lips. And for the first time in years I need to tell you, that you have a serious problem in this area. I am embarrassed to know that its soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out of control even you cant help it. But you really need to get-it-together with your angerrage mouth!!! Its very difficult to share things with you when I know you gonna go nutts at the lips!!!!!!!

There is no excuse or apology for your behavior just work on making the changes for yourself.

After reading that THEN….. I was like WOW. Where did that come from? Even though we have been knowing each other for a total of 23 years…. I STILL DIDNT look at myself . I never got to explain to her that I only called so many times in a row was because I was worried about her… aint like she lived around the corner as she always have from me. She was going through a lot at that time, and she was my GOOD friend. I cared. In my family and circle, if you’re really close and haven’t talked to that person… concern grows…. YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THEM… and they’d appreciate it too. Looking back at this email from 5 years ago… I realize that everyone is not use to someone “looking out for them” “checking up”, “or giving advice” just as well as listen to it. I have sisters that I LOVE… trust and believe if I blow you up like that I CARE. When I can’t get in touch with my sisters and friends… THEY KNOW I WILL BE KNOCKING ON THEIR DOORS. If something is wrong with that… I’m sorry. They understand… that I don’t mean no harm.

I refuse to put this ALL on her. This was MY issue too. Becoming too involved and having a desire to help people. I didn’t know when they wanted me to listen or when they wanted advice. When I’m quiet they want to know what IM THINKING.. when I voiced my opinion they just WANTED ME TO LISTEN. Again… that was me… putting too much into others. Don’t get my wrong there was nothing wrong in doing this… but when you lose YOURSELF FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS… that’s not good at all. I finally get what she’s saying after all of these years. I get it. I really get it. Too bad our friendship has ended.

And just like my dad, he just wont let me LOVE him without sabotaging our relationship. He’s mad at me right now, its been almost 3 weeks since he called me. Growing up as a child and in my early 30’s this would bother me something terrible. Somehow I just don’t care anymore. I feel bad that I DONT CARE. Looking at my dad’s past, he is just like my friend, THEY KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND TO BE FAITHFUL TO PEOPLE….. but they don’t know how to RECEIVE it.

I’m not mad at nobody…. I’m just staying in my own LANE. Running my OWN race.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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