LOVE *deep love*


So, my new friend will be gone soon. We talked for a very long time last night, and he made it clear that he wants to be in my life. But we are not on the same page in many areas. That’s important to me. And its okay…. I hate for people to try to make a size 8 work on an 11 feet. This lady who I use to work with use to always say…. “don’t worry about the person who you’ve met not being the ONE, that means the person who is for you is STILL OUT THERE.” You have to turn loose this one, in order to get to HIM. Wow, I so get that!!!


On a LOVE note….

My heart is open to LOVE. When you LOVE someone DEEP, its funny how the person whom you LOVE will know even if you don’t say a word. I LOVE that. I’m so personal and private…. I wont admit it to the person, but he would know. Unless we are face to face and I can see his facial expression. LOVE is something you just can’t help. Yes…. you are right!! And there is nothing you can do about it!!!

On my way to bed…. lots to think about tonight. I hate when someone comes BACK into your life, and mix your head up… LOL LOL Why do I keep allowing this? L O V E

good night


handsonhatcreeTonight is one of those nights where my mind takes me back to some of the things that God told me in the past. Things that I never understood and never really thought about. But lately I’m starting to wonder about something’s. I HATE opening up new scenarios. But I guess sometime you have too. I don’t have the time …..N E way. I sent a special prayer up and I’m going to sit back and see what happens.

I’m special just like he told me.


Tonight I was with my friend. I really enjoy his company, but its starting to be a problem…. I can tell. Why can’t he just enjoy my company? I’m not giving my 12-13 years up of celibacy. I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE! See that’s the problem with most men today, they feel like if they like someone, they’re suppose to sleep with them. It don’t work that way with me. Its bad for gurls like me, who truly want LOVE and MARRIAGE…when all you meet is men who have been spoiled by women… especially those with low self-esteem. I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE…. I love me. And no matter what I DONT SAY.. trust me I know. I already know that I’m different, I don’t do things according to how the world does it when it comes to my body, and my mind. Just because I’m nice and approachable….. I will “tear that azz up”. Then when I do that….they say I’m “RUDE”.


I know this guy isn’t for me. But I really enjoying seeing him, BEING AROUND HIM, and talking to him. I just feel bad that he looks at me in a way, and in my mind I know he will NEVER have me. I’m thinking about going my own way…. its hard for him to be around me, and I understand. Now I’m asking… God where is MY HUSBAND?

*Its all about LOVE* PART 2 Crees Blog

Yesterday at work, I had a older white lady and her care giver a young black gurl to come through my line. They were very friendly, so I asked the young gurl….. how did you become to be her care giver. YES… I ask my customers questions, because I like to learn things about people. She told me that she was waiting to be placed at a hospital which was coming up soon, and in the meantime she became the lady caretaker. I can tell they are very close and very trusting of each other. I asked the young gurl…… how did you know that you’re suppose to take care of the elderly, what was your break through in knowing that you enjoy this work? She looked at me and said… I’m going to share this story with you. She told me that when she was a little gurl, her momma would kill ANTS AND FLIES that was in the house,  she said she would SECRETLY take them in her room, and try to nurse them back alive. She said she was very upset with her mother plenty of times for killing them, and she would do her best to bring them back to life. OMG … tears formed in my eyes because she said she knew then that she would take care of people. when she got older Her friends in school and her family would tell her the same thing. Her friends called her the “Bug Girl*. Wow!!! What a Testimony. God has to be smiling down on her. I believe that God plant early in our heads what he wants us to do.

I found that people like us, cant attach ourselves to others. We have to always have the Spirit of “keep it moving”. I say that because, we are always fighting for the underdog, we are popular people, but not with the things people do in the world. When it comes to my HOMELESS PEOPLE, I cant care how people feel about me giving them money or what they do with it. I don’t /cant allow those influences to take over me. People often say… gurl you don’t know what they do with that money”… and I say to them, and I don’t know what you do with it either when I give it to you. Same thing. See people don’t see or even know how far LOVE goes into helping and loving others, because they are always trying to get to THEIR next high of whatever MOTIVATES THEM.
There is no limit to LOVE that’s in my HEART. I pray that GOD SENDS the MAN for me to share it with.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

*Its all about LOVE* PART 1 Cree’s Blog

Lately I’ve been thinking about LOVE and how different people accept it. I was talking to someone about it just today, and I came to the conclusion that many people can’t accept LOVE for themselves as you would give to them. Mainly because they don’t feel they deserve it. LOVE is a word that’s so clear to me. I was raised by it, and SHOWN LOVE by my parents and my family. So, I am JAMMED PACKED with LOVE. But it always seem to me that I give it too freely to those who don’t have a clue as to how it works.

I am NOT a mechanic… so to be honest *and since I drive a brand new car*, I cant TELL YOU WHERE THE OIL GOES. We take it to the shop and they put it in when its time. Now, that would annoy a MECHANIC because in their minds… they figure if you have a car the least you can do is find out where all your oils and other fluids go. LOL But its not important to me. This example has certainly helped me to understand that since I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO SHARE…. not everyone is willing to get to know more about it.

I met Neisha’s dad when I was turning 18, on my 19th Birthday I had her. I LOVED her dad so much it was crazy. I didn’t see that, it was just that he showed me LOVE and I showed him LOVE. But then something changed…..something I didn’t understand…… he wanted to be with other women. He didn’t want to lose me, but at the same time, he knew that there was another world out there and he wanted to be apart of it. People look for different things in different people. He knew that I would be a GREAT MOTHER, he knew how motherly I was, so he knew that his daughter would grow up to be someone of importance to the body of Christ. But he was looking for a woman to take care of him. He LOVE flashy clothes, NICE FANCY CARS, money, and the center of attention in EVERY ROOM he walked in. I wasn’t about that life.

I wanted a Husband, a relationship with God, a family, nice paying jobs working with kids, . At that time I couldn’t understand how you can tell somebody you LOVE them but still desire other women. I knew that I LOVED him hard. One day, I’ll never forget…. I was washing dishes and I heard God say…. you LOVE him more than you LOVE ME. I said God……. Oh no I don’t….. NO WAY. Soon after that I found out that her dad was cheating on me with the gurl who lived downstairs…. I DISCONNECTED from him totally. Never to look at him in the same light. It was so easy. Then I started wondering……dang did I really LOVE him? LOL But when I did that …..I found out something I didn’t know about myself.

I found out that I LOVE people, I love to laugh and have fun. I have never had a physical fight, but I love to debate something dear to my heart. I am always the life of the party, knowing everybody, having a personal story to share with everyone I come in contact with. I also found out that as much as I LOVED AND SHOWED SOMEONE I LOVED THEM….. I COULD EASILY DISCONNECT. A gift that I need dearly to weed out BOOT LEG…. NON DESERVING OF MY LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP PEOPLE. I was so amazed at how much LOVE AND TIME I put into Neisha’s dad,. not knowing how quickly I could disconnect from him. I didn’t know I had this gift. OH God knows how much I NEED IT. LOL Of course we are good friends to this day…..but he knows, he can’t get 5 minutes of conversation from me. LOL

The point I’m making is different people want different things. Some people are motivated by FAME. Some people are motivated by FLASHY CARS, CLOTHES AND THINGS. Some people are motivated by having lots of children to love and take care of, some people are motivated by people telling them how Good they look. It is so important not to get caught up on someone who wont understand your motivation. It has to compliment you or the relationship/friendship wont work.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy