When God speaks to me…… Cree’s Blog Entry

cosignI just absolutely LOVE when God speaks to me about a situation that I just don’t understand. 

Working at a High School with teenagers IS A JOB. There are so many students, I can’t remember half their names… LOL But I know the faces of them all. When I’m out and a see a Teenager… I’m always looking to see if they’re one of “mines”. I LOVE my job, even though its stressful… I KNOW FOR A FACT that God gave me the mentality and the gift to be able to go in Mon-Fri and break up fights, send kids to the Dean’s office, give out money when they ask, clean up after them,  make them go to class, tell them to pull of their pants, to stop cursing, to leave the gurls alone, to stop playing so much, give them hugs, and pep talks, show LOVE to them, preach to them, pull them to the side and give them a “whopping momma” talk. This job is normal for me. This is my life, this is what I do. I am cut out for this. 

I work very closely with 2 other ladies. I enjoy working and moving around a lot. I like to move around and be in different areas of the building, and so last week I got into with one of them…. she’s an older lady. I ask God why is she acting FUNNY/FUNKY to me? He told me because I get done with my work faster now, since I found a quicker way to do things. Not only that… but because I chose not to work directly with her, and also because I help out with other things that I don’t have to do. In my mind I’m like NAW.. she’s not like that. LOL Didn’t she confront me about how I haven’t been working with her lately, and that I’m doing too much “other stuff”. She is NOT my SUPERVISOR AT ALL!! I WAS SO SHOCKED… GOD WAS RIGHT * as always*. She let me have it. LOL Now that I think back on last Thursday. LOL After she blasted me out * she’s so lucky I’m working on my ANGER ISSUES* She knew I was mad at her for acting jealous. I’m not sitting next to her everyday while there is work to be done. THIS IS ALL HIGH SCHOOL RELATED THINGS THAT I DO. Then today, she sat in her chair with her legs crossed and slept FOR 30 MINS. SMH This is why I refuse to work with her in that way again. People LOVE to make things all about them. 

I came to the conclusion.. that I need my own group. I need something more personal. I’m going to come up with a plan to get my group going. But it wont be in Detroit. 

Teens these days need someone who’s going to plant seeds into their lives, who care for them, who will teach them about consequences, who will hold them accountable for their actions, who love them, and who’s going to tell them the TRUTH. I work with teens… I REFUSE to bicker with ADULTS on the JOB, when its not about them. Then when I put my head down INTO MY CELLPHONE… and not join in on the conversations…. everybody wants to know what’s wrong with “Sunshine”…. nothing… I just don’t have anything to say. I don’t want to talk about anything but KIDS. SOME adults you can’t just sit and kick it with….. you gotta keep it moving… AND I PROMISE ON A STACK OF BIBLES….. IM THAT CHICK THAT KEEPS IT MOVING!!!! This is my gift my calling, and NO ADULT WILL GET IN THE WAY OF HOW I WORK, HANDLE BUSINESS, HOW I COMMUNICATE… AND ESPECIALLY HOW FAR I GO IN ORDER TO HELP MY TEENAGERS.
Anger triggers… let me go. * wink* 

Be Blessed 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

I want to meet my Sister…..*tears* Cree’s Blog Entry

my sisterI want to meet my sister so bad ( in above photo)…. She use to live here and I hate that I wasn’t persistent in meeting her when she was here in Detroit. I go to her FB page all the time… we favor so much. We talk on the phone, but we’ve never met.My dad had her before my mom and dad married. But the way her mom and my dad got together was sneaky as far as how their families  connected… and for years after years it was a secret to her and to us. My dad is so stubborn and wont take a blood test to give her/us CLOSURE. She aint missing nothing * with him*… yeah I said it. But me and my siblings want to meet her, and hug her and LOVE HER.
My dad lives one min from me and we haven’t spoken in almost 2 months. I just don’t get that.

My daughter is so mad at him because he’s so stubborn she told him that she’s not going to answer his calls because of the way he treats his daughters. But I have a sister out there who wants to be around him….. * throws hands in the air* SMH FOR WHAT? I’m so happy that I’m not stubborn. That kinda life keeps you in bondage. I’m so happy that me and my daughter are very close. Praise God…. and I will communicate, do flips and all sorts of things to keep it that way. My dad has always been this way, he use to go months and months without talking to his brother when we were coming up and all living at home. I never paid it any attention…. never knowing that one day it would be me. SMH. It pisses me off sooooo soooooooo so bad that he’s like this. How you not talk to your BROTHER FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS … then when your kids get older, you do them the same way. We all grew up in the same house, don’t you long to hear my voice, my laughter, my smile, my silly ness…. don’t you miss that? Wow… Well let me say this….. my dad has done me/us like this all of our lives, and for once in my life….. I’m so over his behavior. Once so much time has passed…. it doesn’t even bother me. He had issues with his mom. she sold him to his dad in court for $1.00 and I think he hasn’t gotten over that. If I didn’t have God in my life so deep….. I would be some where crying and depressed. He was the very one who taught me, my sisters and brother to be close…. and if NOTHINGGGGGGG else come out of this as God chose him to be my dad…. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. THANK YOU LORD FOR HANDPICKING THEM FOR ME!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Putting away childish things…DONE WITH YOU… Crees’ Blog Entry

CUT YOU OFFHeyyyy Everybody!!! I see the numbers on my blog entries are jumping off the hook! Well, I’m happy someone is reading, I just hope that you get something out of it. A lot of times when someone is having a moment or is going through something, once you read it, you can truly relate. I know I do. This is why I LOVE to read and LOVE to write.

I’ve been doing so, so, so good with my ANGER ISSUES… I guess its not as bad as I thought. When I feel myself getting upset, I’m make sure that I’m conscience of what I’m feeling, my thoughts, and what comes out of my mouth. I’m 46 years old, there comes a time when you put away childish things. I realize that I have the POWER to allow GOD to help me to control the atmosphere. When I open my heart to him, he helps me to come all the way down….. and I like that. I’m sorry I do NOT want to have ANGER stories for the rest of my life. Because if I’m having those issues often…. that’s WHO I AM. #idontthankso

So… my friend who had the fire in his apartment told me what happened. He was waiting on the time to pass so that he could go and visit his daughter for her first week back to school, he lit a cigarette and fell asleep with it in his hand. He woke up with his lap on fire. He suffered burns but was treated and released. He’s no longer living in the building. We had even began to be friends again. We talked on the phone for several nights straight… and if you know me.. I HATE talking on the phone ((( in person I can sit for hours)))… he knows this and expects for me to talk to him every night. I JUST CANT DO THAT…. I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE… and when I skipped a few nights and only text him…. *just as before* he stopped answering my calls. YESSSSSSSSSSSS SEE YA…. GOOD RIDDENS… I cant deal with a MAN who is so needy and has to talk everyday. I’M NOT A NEEDY WOMAN. So I deleted his number tonight.. AND IM DONE WITH HIM.. OUTTA HERE VIRGO SIR.

I had so much to say earlier, but its gotten late, and when I start itching and moving too much….. its BEDTIME LOL Good Night!

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

One of my FAVORITE MOVIES…..Crees’ Blog Entry

My daughter loves OLD MOVIES. She’s the one who has me hooked on the old Sidney Poiter movies ( her favorite actor…. she  calls him her grand dad). But when she told me about a movie called Black Girl… I was like what kind of title is that. When I sat down to watch it with her, I was blown away. This movie is not only powerful but this cast is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Everyone pulled their weight. I’ve watched this movie at least 10 times …especially since its NOT out on DVD. If you haven’t seen this movie you can watch it on YOUTUBE… here is one of the best scenes. Enjoy

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Wake up kids!!! Wake up…Crees’ Blog Entry

back to schoolI can’t wait to start my gurls group back up *Raisingurls to Women* when the time is right. By working at a High School it has taught me so much, kids are different these days than ever before. The boys are so disrespectful to gurls, and the music that’s out these days doesn’t help. I hate the word HOE… its just something about it that bothers me. I HATE when Madea uses it, it so degrading, the sound of it bothers me.

As long as I can remember I never had self esteem issue. Even through my weigh battles, I’ve always LOVED MYSELF… and wanted to only be ME. The more I’m around kids, I believe they have these issues because they’re always talking and dissing each other, and when someone else who “appears” to have it all together, they compare themselves to that person. Opening them selves up to feeling inadequate.

One of my students came and sat with me yesterday….. she told me she was pregnant. I don’t believe in abortions, I’m glad that was NOT an option. I’m starting to think about these kids all day… here I am with one child…. but I wake up from a nap, thinking about these kids. I wake up in the night thinking about them, trying to watch a movie and still thinking about them. The future of many of them is looking REAL spooky. Do their mothers have a clue? Where are the dads? Do the parents spend time with them? I’m just sad right now. Why do I care so much? I just want the best for them. I hope they wake up and  grow up before its too late.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Detroit Lions Sunday!!!

GREENSSWatching The Detroit Lions play against Minnesota. Football is my FAVORITE SPORT. I’m watching the game frying some chicken, made my corn bread and collard greens. I have to watch the game alone sometimes… cause I be nutting up!!! LOL I be screaming, hollering, hitting and beating on thangs, cussing, laughing, mad, STANDING UP, SITTING DOWN, TALKING JUNK. LOL I think I’ll get put out of a sports bar because I holler so LOUD!!!! LOL LOL

I’ll write tonight!!!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO j

Total Praise, Personal Scriptures….Cree’s Blog Entry

love godIts Saturday and I was out and about this afternoon. Tomorrow I’m cooking some Collard Greens. I love greens so much. I remember when I use to call my momma and ask her to make some and she would, just because she knew I loved them. Now my daughter calls me to make her some. No this gurl didn’t text me this morning at 9:14 am talking about “she gotta taste for some greens”….. she doesn’t live with me…she has her own place!!!! LOL When people say *they gotta taste* that means they want you to make them some. Call me what you want…. because I went to the grocery store this morning and got my baby some greens. Can’t wait to cook them. LOL 

This morning as I was laying down talking to God. I asked him why do I enjoy sharing my life stories with people. I know so many people who wouldn’t dare share their stories with anyone. They will post Scriptures all day everyday. And even though…. I KNOW MY LIMIT of what to share and what to keep private… I still wondered why I don’t mind doing this? What he said was…. I ‘m delivered from what others THINK OF ME. He said when you share a story.. ITS YOUR TRUTH and you know NO ONE on earth have the POWER to dissect it. He said some people have others to influence and when you have that in your life, you will always be afraid of what others think of you…. therefore those people will never share their stories for fear of JUDGEMENT. This is not for everyone… ONLY (((((SOME))))). 

I learned that people who ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a comment for what someone does, good or bad….((((especially negative)))))
they WOULD’ NT DARE LET OTHERS INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIVES FOR THE FEAR OF THAT SAME JUDGEMENT THAT THEY DISH OUT.
As I go through my personal storm (((( will share at a later time)))) this is my song that gets me through. So BADLY I want to THINK about how things are going to work out for me. But God said NOPE …. KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME ((((and that way I will have NO time to focus on my issues))))) and so it reminds me of these Scriptures. 

Jesus Walks on the Water

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33 (New International Version)

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Foolishness brings the Scriptures to Life….Cree’s Blog Entry

 

monicaWhen I was a young gurl, I loved watching Bible Stories. I have a nice collection of them now as an adult. I’d be SO mad when I watched people laugh at Noah and his family as they build the ark. No matter what they said he kept building. Again… Anger Issues… watch this. I “thought” I was mad at the people because they talked and dogged him out, but really *I’m learning* that I was afraid of the consequences for the people. I knew as a child that Noah was building that Ark just as God told him… I knew that. I was afraid that the people wouldn’t “open their eyes” soon enough to be saved. I never thought I’d grow up in “real life” and see people behaving the same way they did in those days.

I work with mostly police officers.. and this one.. every time I’m around him I can feel God doing flips inside me. This man does something to my Spirit when he speaks. He’s so lost and so clueless…. I feel so bad for him. He’s in his early 50’s… and so arrogant. I can’t even see him ever opening up to know better. I hope he does.

I use to pray and cry that everyone goes to Heaven, but as an adult I see that people bring to life the Scriptures below.

Matthew 7:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

The Narrow and Wide Gates

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

 

 

Photo is of my cousin Monica… she will bury her mom tomorrow. Prayers going up. I love you Monica and Family.

Be Blessed

 

 

Gone but not forgotten…..Cree’s Blog Entry

aunt lillianSo today….. I’m feeling some kinda way. I hate when I feel like this. I need to clean up, but I want to be on the computer. I want to go to the river, but I don’t feel like fighting/finding a parking spot. I want to watch TV but my mind is all over the place right now. My daughters great aunt passed away this morning… and I’m not good with funerals at all. I’m just a cry baby, I cry and cry, and cry and cry, and cry and cry and cry.. not because of death, but because of the Spiritual Atmosphere. If no one else is crying, I just can’t follow suit and let things be happy… I have to go someplace alone and cry. She was sick, so it helps that family members were preparing. I keep telling myself… to be absent from the body is to be PRESENT with the Lord.

I text my daughters father today, and told him how sorry I was…. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM SOOO mad at myself for not being able to call him. Because I know I’m going to cry and MESS UP HIS ATMOSPHERE.. Why do I have to be so sensitive? If I hear a organ and the choir sing….. I start to cry… like weeping Wanda from Good Times. So dayum embarrassing!!!

My daughter was looking at me today like….momma its okay. Its her great aunt, and I’m crying like she was my mom. Thing is my mom has one sister/sibling, she has one daughter, and everyone is alive. My dad has 7 siblings… all of them are alive except my uncle he passed away years ago of cancer. All of my aunts are alive and they are doing well and look good…. ALL OF MY FIRST COUSINS ARE ALIVE… ALL OF MY SECOND COUSINS ARE ALIVE… and my dads mom only died 3 years ago. My friends are alive that I grew up with. I have never lost a close friend male or female. So, this is why I feel this way about funerals. I haven’t been to many, and then on top off that I’m already sensitive. I pray ALL THE TIME.. that when our family does have our turn * AND YES WE WILL*, that God makes me the strong one. Make me stronger than I feel that I am LORD. Oh yes, we all have to go, and that’s fine…. but I want to cry a little, laugh a little, and understand that these things must take place.

Okay… I think I feel better now… I do. Thank you Lord for the gift of writing. I feel okay 🙂

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

A story that will warm your heart…. Crees Blog Entry

GOT A STORY TO SHARE : FROM MY FACEBOOK FRIEND CYNTHIA….. SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY

CYN AND JOHNHubby and I went to Olive Garden to have dinner..as we were sitting there waiting to be seated this little girl came and sit down beside us. I would say she was about 7 years old. She kept looking and then she was staring..I smiled at her and she smiles back. Then she said, ” Do you both live together?” I said, ” yes, We are married” So she kept staring and then I said, ” Have you ever seen a black and white couple together?’ She shook her head no. Then she said, ” Do you have any kids together?” I said,” No, but he was married before me and he had a wife, she died and went to heaven and they had kids, and now their kids have small children so we are grandparents.” She said, ” Why couldn’t you have any kids together.” I said, ” We got to old!” I smiled and she started laughing..I continued talking to her and I said,” So that’s ok right?” She shook her head yes and smiled.Then I asked her, ” Do you have any black friends at school?” She said ” No. I don’t have any.’ I asked what school did she got to. She told she is at a new school this year and she was telling me about her old school. So she just kept smiling at me and staring at me. I asked her , ‘What’s your name?” She said, ” Riley.” I said ” nice to meet you Riley, I’m Cynthia and his name is John.” She got up and stood up and looked up at John smiling and looked back at me smiling..So next to us where her parents, as I thought they were her parents , come to find out it was her adopted grandparents..and I told them our conversation and the grandmother said Both girls had been not around alot of people..but I did commended to the grandmother, that she was very polite and was very curious..she spoke so pleasant and she was very friendly. The grandfather looked a little unpleasant at first when I began telling the story and I think he thought I was going to be upset and then when the grandmother and I started laughing and smiling about it..John and I saw he was a little bit more relaxed and he started smiling bigger as I continue telling what this little girl asked John and I . I told the grandmother, despite her not being around any Black people..I felt like she wanted to learn and this is a step towards learning and getting to know other people from different races..She smiled and said ” Thank you for being so nice to her.” I told her, ” I really enjoyed my conversation with Riley and I hope she has learned something from our short conversation.” I told the grandmother, ” Thank you for helping to raise such a smart and polite little child.” I said to Riley as she was sitting down, ” I’m your first Black friend.” She smiled really big. Her grandmother told her, ” Riley, you met your first Black friend tonight.” She nodded her head and smiled. We said our good byes and Riley waved at me as we were called to our seating. I know some people would find it uncomfortable with the lady saying that but I didn’t..maybe it opened up something to them they had not ever had to approach. I don’t know.

I hope Riley spreads her love for people her whole life and I hope she helps someone else understand that we may all be of different race but we are all the same through and through.

As I sit here and type this, I have this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart and I’m a bit choked up with tears..I hope Riley has a happy life and embrace everyone no matter what color skin they have. I’m so happy that I was the first Black person that touched her life as I may never see her again. But I will always remember that sweet little face of hers. — feeling wonderful.

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