Work was good today. Thank you Jesus. Since Neisha has been gone seems like things are coming along for me as far as missing her, we call each other everyday, she calls me before she goes to bed every night, she comes home on Thursday\’s and stay till Sunday. What more can you ask for? Which leads me to this:
Me and my brother was on the phone talking the other day, and he was telling me about this gurl he was dating, and how she loves to start arguments. The last time she did that, he grabbed his keys and walked out. I couldn\’t help but think about how I use to be. But you know, I\’m at that time in my life where I want to be happy. I want to love. I sit up and think about me with a guy whose face I can\’t see, dancing at our wedding to our first song. In this \” mental video\” that\’s playing in my head, I see myself looking up at him, and I\’m looking so pretty. OMG! He\’s looking down at me, as if we are the only ones in the room. I\’m just stuck on that scene. LOL I can\’ even hear the song……… \”Bed\” by J-Holiday. I love this song, its so romantic, its so \”grown folks\”. That song is not for kids, and Imma choke a kid if I see them singing my first wedding song. LOL This is for grown folks, we finally got us some music.
Back to my \”mental video\”.
Even though I want to be married someday, I\’m not willing to say \”I do\” if he is not the one for me to be with forever. God will have to tell him and me both that its meant to be. I don\’t think that a man should do things without his wife knowing about it, same for the wife. When a man is married they are a team. You know what\’s sexy to me? I mean sexy??? When a man says: my wife will kill me if I do this or that without her permission. I love it.That shows that he respects his wife enough to let her in on his decisions. She should/better do the same for him. My desire is to stay on the same page as my husband. I want us to always be on the same page. If we don\’t agree with something that\’s fine, we are not going to always agree, and I understand that, but I want to always come to a medium. That\’s what I want in my marriage. When I see myself slipping, I want God to pick me up and put me back on track with my husband.
I want to be so in tuned with my husband, that if we are out somewhere, and I\’m on one side of the room, and he\’s on another, talking, I want to be able to look into his eyes without him saying a word to me, and know how his last conversation went, I want to be able to tell when he\’s ready to go, when he\’s tired, or aint feeling the people he\’s chatting with. And I want him to be able to do the same for me. If you are so into yourself and what you are doing, you will miss that Love. I like to look into the eyes, it says so much.
I\’m gone to bed, I will continue off tomorrow. Here is a song that\’s playing right now in my heart.