My Sister…..Cree’s Blog Entry
Tonight I was watching Oprah’s “Where are they now” as she recapped the show where her Sister Patricia realized that they were sisters, it just bought me to tears. I had seen the original episode, and also this same “Where are they now” but this one tore me up. It reminds me so much of the story about my Sister. I know I keep writing on this subject, but I had known that she was out there somewhere since I was a young gurl. And to have her on my FB page and to see her post keeps her close to my heart.
When I saw tonight how the niece and Patricia took a blood test to determine if they were family, really made me think closer about doing this when ever my Sister * I believe we are* comes back to Detroit. I cannot stop thinking about this, and tonight I just cried and cried. My grand dad * my dad’s father* was married to her Aunt Lucy…. who I use to spend lots of time together when I was a kid. I loved my Grandma Lucy * passed away a few years ago*…. who was also her FAVORITE AUNT. And all the while my dad knew where she was, and how to contact her, but since it was a big secret in the family that she was his daughter… he didn’t. How all this came about….. one day.. my Sister knocked on my dad’s door and demanded answers. Someone in her family started talking and giving my sister answers. All while growing up she looked different than her other sisters, she knew something was wrong. All it takes is one family member who knows the truth, to spark the fire. I was the first person my dad called when my Sister left his apartment that day, because he knew I would find out, and I was the one he talked about her the most with.
As I was watching Oprah… I watched how happy Patricia was JUST TO KNOW her family members. It didn’t matter that Oprah is/was famous. I’m the oldest of the 4 of us from my mom and dad… but she’s older than me. So I see her as a “Big Sister”..someone I had to be to my siblings. I’m excited about that. I can see true LOVE in her eyes, in her mannerism, the way she looks at Oprah. She is very happy to have a Big Sister. I cried for her happiness. And as for Oprah’s mom, I hope that she can move on with her guilt, because really it doesn’t matter about the past anymore. Its okay that Patricia was given up for an adoption, because everyone is going through a healing process, and all that matters is the fact that….they’re all together now. See that’s the part my dad don’t get. He doesn’t want anyone to ask questions. Well.. I’m sorry dad you have daughters that ask questions. We aren’t mad or angry with you for what happened when you were a teenager. We don’t care, all my sister want is to be accepted. Give her that.
My Sister is now running for a seat in the US Senate. I am so proud of her. As for me…. I just want to kiss her, hug her, look at her, talk to her, listen to all of her stories, and even share some. My dad still haven’t called me * almost 3 months*, and I have no desire to talk to him. I don’t like the way he is handling things with my Sister because of his fears. And since he knows how I feel, in his mind… its easier for him to find something petty to be mad at me about. Growing up when he did it …. it bothered me… now….I’m keeping it moving.
Let me go to bed…..more this week.
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Conversations with God…..Cree’s Blog Entry
Dear God,
As I sat here earlier watching Creflo Dollar LIVE in Bible Study, he was saying some funny stuff about this lady who always prayed for him and LOVED to serve. Then it triggered a thought about you and I. LOL LOL I realize something. LOL LOL I cant stop laughing. I noticed that the 2-3 times I ranted in September about things in my life, and how I ask you when am I coming out of this wilderness, and why this and why that. But I noticed that every time I cried and ask you 1000 questions, I got instantly sleepy. I remember so clearly those times, in the middle of my rant, you said ” take a nap La’Crease”. It was so loud and clear… I remember standing up and walking around crying, and you said it again… “take a nap LaCrease”. But I sat back down at my desk… then all of a sudden… I GOT INSTANTLY SLEEPY… I couldn’t fight it. So I got up and laid on the couch. When I woke up.. I remember (((LOL LOL))) feeling so GOOD…. but I never pieced it together until now, that you caused sleep to come upon me ALL those TIMES. LOL LOL This is the same story for all of those times. You told me to “take a nap”. I did. lol Its amazing how Creflo’s story triggered me to think about this. I was so sleepy, that I couldn’t fight it… at all. And I can fight some sleep!!!! Now that I think about it, I probably was ON the thin line with my thoughts, anger, and questions. I was so sleepy, but I still wanted to ask you questions. Wow… that is so funny to me. I know next time….. just to go and take a nap
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
When God speaks to me…… Cree’s Blog Entry
I just absolutely LOVE when God speaks to me about a situation that I just don’t understand.
Working at a High School with teenagers IS A JOB. There are so many students, I can’t remember half their names… LOL But I know the faces of them all. When I’m out and a see a Teenager… I’m always looking to see if they’re one of “mines”. I LOVE my job, even though its stressful… I KNOW FOR A FACT that God gave me the mentality and the gift to be able to go in Mon-Fri and break up fights, send kids to the Dean’s office, give out money when they ask, clean up after them, make them go to class, tell them to pull of their pants, to stop cursing, to leave the gurls alone, to stop playing so much, give them hugs, and pep talks, show LOVE to them, preach to them, pull them to the side and give them a “whopping momma” talk. This job is normal for me. This is my life, this is what I do. I am cut out for this.
I work very closely with 2 other ladies. I enjoy working and moving around a lot. I like to move around and be in different areas of the building, and so last week I got into with one of them…. she’s an older lady. I ask God why is she acting FUNNY/FUNKY to me? He told me because I get done with my work faster now, since I found a quicker way to do things. Not only that… but because I chose not to work directly with her, and also because I help out with other things that I don’t have to do. In my mind I’m like NAW.. she’s not like that. LOL Didn’t she confront me about how I haven’t been working with her lately, and that I’m doing too much “other stuff”. She is NOT my SUPERVISOR AT ALL!! I WAS SO SHOCKED… GOD WAS RIGHT * as always*. She let me have it. LOL Now that I think back on last Thursday. LOL After she blasted me out * she’s so lucky I’m working on my ANGER ISSUES* She knew I was mad at her for acting jealous. I’m not sitting next to her everyday while there is work to be done. THIS IS ALL HIGH SCHOOL RELATED THINGS THAT I DO. Then today, she sat in her chair with her legs crossed and slept FOR 30 MINS. SMH This is why I refuse to work with her in that way again. People LOVE to make things all about them.
I came to the conclusion.. that I need my own group. I need something more personal. I’m going to come up with a plan to get my group going. But it wont be in Detroit.
Teens these days need someone who’s going to plant seeds into their lives, who care for them, who will teach them about consequences, who will hold them accountable for their actions, who love them, and who’s going to tell them the TRUTH. I work with teens… I REFUSE to bicker with ADULTS on the JOB, when its not about them. Then when I put my head down INTO MY CELLPHONE… and not join in on the conversations…. everybody wants to know what’s wrong with “Sunshine”…. nothing… I just don’t have anything to say. I don’t want to talk about anything but KIDS. SOME adults you can’t just sit and kick it with….. you gotta keep it moving… AND I PROMISE ON A STACK OF BIBLES….. IM THAT CHICK THAT KEEPS IT MOVING!!!! This is my gift my calling, and NO ADULT WILL GET IN THE WAY OF HOW I WORK, HANDLE BUSINESS, HOW I COMMUNICATE… AND ESPECIALLY HOW FAR I GO IN ORDER TO HELP MY TEENAGERS.
Anger triggers… let me go. * wink*
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
I want to meet my Sister…..*tears* Cree’s Blog Entry
I want to meet my sister so bad ( in above photo)…. She use to live here and I hate that I wasn’t persistent in meeting her when she was here in Detroit. I go to her FB page all the time… we favor so much. We talk on the phone, but we’ve never met.My dad had her before my mom and dad married. But the way her mom and my dad got together was sneaky as far as how their families connected… and for years after years it was a secret to her and to us. My dad is so stubborn and wont take a blood test to give her/us CLOSURE. She aint missing nothing * with him*… yeah I said it. But me and my siblings want to meet her, and hug her and LOVE HER.My dad lives one min from me and we haven’t spoken in almost 2 months. I just don’t get that.
My daughter is so mad at him because he’s so stubborn she told him that she’s not going to answer his calls because of the way he treats his daughters. But I have a sister out there who wants to be around him….. * throws hands in the air* SMH FOR WHAT? I’m so happy that I’m not stubborn. That kinda life keeps you in bondage. I’m so happy that me and my daughter are very close. Praise God…. and I will communicate, do flips and all sorts of things to keep it that way. My dad has always been this way, he use to go months and months without talking to his brother when we were coming up and all living at home. I never paid it any attention…. never knowing that one day it would be me. SMH. It pisses me off sooooo soooooooo so bad that he’s like this. How you not talk to your BROTHER FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS … then when your kids get older, you do them the same way. We all grew up in the same house, don’t you long to hear my voice, my laughter, my smile, my silly ness…. don’t you miss that? Wow… Well let me say this….. my dad has done me/us like this all of our lives, and for once in my life….. I’m so over his behavior. Once so much time has passed…. it doesn’t even bother me. He had issues with his mom. she sold him to his dad in court for $1.00 and I think he hasn’t gotten over that. If I didn’t have God in my life so deep….. I would be some where crying and depressed. He was the very one who taught me, my sisters and brother to be close…. and if NOTHINGGGGGGG else come out of this as God chose him to be my dad…. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. THANK YOU LORD FOR HANDPICKING THEM FOR ME!
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Total Praise, Personal Scriptures….Cree’s Blog Entry
Its Saturday and I was out and about this afternoon. Tomorrow I’m cooking some Collard Greens. I love greens so much. I remember when I use to call my momma and ask her to make some and she would, just because she knew I loved them. Now my daughter calls me to make her some. No this gurl didn’t text me this morning at 9:14 am talking about “she gotta taste for some greens”….. she doesn’t live with me…she has her own place!!!! LOL When people say *they gotta taste* that means they want you to make them some. Call me what you want…. because I went to the grocery store this morning and got my baby some greens. Can’t wait to cook them. LOL
This morning as I was laying down talking to God. I asked him why do I enjoy sharing my life stories with people. I know so many people who wouldn’t dare share their stories with anyone. They will post Scriptures all day everyday. And even though…. I KNOW MY LIMIT of what to share and what to keep private… I still wondered why I don’t mind doing this? What he said was…. I ‘m delivered from what others THINK OF ME. He said when you share a story.. ITS YOUR TRUTH and you know NO ONE on earth have the POWER to dissect it. He said some people have others to influence and when you have that in your life, you will always be afraid of what others think of you…. therefore those people will never share their stories for fear of JUDGEMENT. This is not for everyone… ONLY (((((SOME))))).
I learned that people who ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a comment for what someone does, good or bad….((((especially negative)))))
they WOULD’ NT DARE LET OTHERS INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIVES FOR THE FEAR OF THAT SAME JUDGEMENT THAT THEY DISH OUT.
As I go through my personal storm (((( will share at a later time)))) this is my song that gets me through. So BADLY I want to THINK about how things are going to work out for me. But God said NOPE …. KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME ((((and that way I will have NO time to focus on my issues))))) and so it reminds me of these Scriptures.
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Matthew 14:22-33 (New International Version)
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Four Weddings and a Beautiful Note….Cree’s Blog Entry
So, I’m watching Four Weddings… and I am horrified that I don’t have a theme for my wedding. I am so NOT creative at all… well I don’t feel as if I am. I would definitely need a wedding planner….but what would I tell her I like? Gosh that’s kinda spooky for a woman not to know what her theme would be. Guess I really never thought about it… marriage either. Maybe because I’m not in a relationship, because when you’re in one, you KNOW what you want and how you see you and your husband on your special day.
I do know that I LOVE roses. I love GREEN.. I LOVE CAKE.. and it will NOT be a cake full of fillings and bouffant.It has to be BUTTER CREAM ICING. lol I want lots of Bridesmaids… Hmmm let’s see…. Gloria, Charlene, Sherry, Neishia, Darcella, Vikki, Shann, and Tammy oh my goodness… no room for the grooms sister/cousins.. gotta stop there. LOL And my Matron of Honor would be my Sister Yolanda. And my Maid of Honor would be my Sister Peedie. Speaking of Yolanda… here is what she posted on my FB page (((tears))).
Lacrease Walker, I, Yolanda Pippen, just want to say that you have had the biggest influence on my life. When we were little, I wanted to be just like you, my oldest sister. I liked the things you liked (peanut butter) and disliked the things you disliked (eggs, butter, and Oatmeal – yuk!). The most important thing that I learned from you was that attitude is everything in this world. My attitude was so poor that you had to remind me that as beautiful as I was, my bad attitude over shadowed my beauty. You reminded me that every time the lion in me reared its ugly head, I was being bitterly mean and our parents didn’t raise us that way. I am so greatful and thankful to you for teaching me how to let GOD’s Love shine through me – I Love you with all my heart big sister, and I hope you have the best birthday in the world! Happy 46th Birthday ~Na ~ (yeah I put your age – lol) (((((((photo is my sister yolanda)))))))))))
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Foolishness brings the Scriptures to Life….Cree’s Blog Entry
When I was a young gurl, I loved watching Bible Stories. I have a nice collection of them now as an adult. I’d be SO mad when I watched people laugh at Noah and his family as they build the ark. No matter what they said he kept building. Again… Anger Issues… watch this. I “thought” I was mad at the people because they talked and dogged him out, but really *I’m learning* that I was afraid of the consequences for the people. I knew as a child that Noah was building that Ark just as God told him… I knew that. I was afraid that the people wouldn’t “open their eyes” soon enough to be saved. I never thought I’d grow up in “real life” and see people behaving the same way they did in those days.
I work with mostly police officers.. and this one.. every time I’m around him I can feel God doing flips inside me. This man does something to my Spirit when he speaks. He’s so lost and so clueless…. I feel so bad for him. He’s in his early 50’s… and so arrogant. I can’t even see him ever opening up to know better. I hope he does.
I use to pray and cry that everyone goes to Heaven, but as an adult I see that people bring to life the Scriptures below.
Matthew 7:13-14
New International Version (NIV)
The Narrow and Wide Gates
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Photo is of my cousin Monica… she will bury her mom tomorrow. Prayers going up. I love you Monica and Family.
Be Blessed
A story that will warm your heart…. Crees Blog Entry
GOT A STORY TO SHARE : FROM MY FACEBOOK FRIEND CYNTHIA….. SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY
Hubby and I went to Olive Garden to have dinner..as we were sitting there waiting to be seated this little girl came and sit down beside us. I would say she was about 7 years old. She kept looking and then she was staring..I smiled at her and she smiles back. Then she said, ” Do you both live together?” I said, ” yes, We are married” So she kept staring and then I said, ” Have you ever seen a black and white couple together?’ She shook her head no. Then she said, ” Do you have any kids together?” I said,” No, but he was married before me and he had a wife, she died and went to heaven and they had kids, and now their kids have small children so we are grandparents.” She said, ” Why couldn’t you have any kids together.” I said, ” We got to old!” I smiled and she started laughing..I continued talking to her and I said,” So that’s ok right?” She shook her head yes and smiled.Then I asked her, ” Do you have any black friends at school?” She said ” No. I don’t have any.’ I asked what school did she got to. She told she is at a new school this year and she was telling me about her old school. So she just kept smiling at me and staring at me. I asked her , ‘What’s your name?” She said, ” Riley.” I said ” nice to meet you Riley, I’m Cynthia and his name is John.” She got up and stood up and looked up at John smiling and looked back at me smiling..So next to us where her parents, as I thought they were her parents , come to find out it was her adopted grandparents..and I told them our conversation and the grandmother said Both girls had been not around alot of people..but I did commended to the grandmother, that she was very polite and was very curious..she spoke so pleasant and she was very friendly. The grandfather looked a little unpleasant at first when I began telling the story and I think he thought I was going to be upset and then when the grandmother and I started laughing and smiling about it..John and I saw he was a little bit more relaxed and he started smiling bigger as I continue telling what this little girl asked John and I . I told the grandmother, despite her not being around any Black people..I felt like she wanted to learn and this is a step towards learning and getting to know other people from different races..She smiled and said ” Thank you for being so nice to her.” I told her, ” I really enjoyed my conversation with Riley and I hope she has learned something from our short conversation.” I told the grandmother, ” Thank you for helping to raise such a smart and polite little child.” I said to Riley as she was sitting down, ” I’m your first Black friend.” She smiled really big. Her grandmother told her, ” Riley, you met your first Black friend tonight.” She nodded her head and smiled. We said our good byes and Riley waved at me as we were called to our seating. I know some people would find it uncomfortable with the lady saying that but I didn’t..maybe it opened up something to them they had not ever had to approach. I don’t know.
I hope Riley spreads her love for people her whole life and I hope she helps someone else understand that we may all be of different race but we are all the same through and through.
As I sit here and type this, I have this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart and I’m a bit choked up with tears..I hope Riley has a happy life and embrace everyone no matter what color skin they have. I’m so happy that I was the first Black person that touched her life as I may never see her again. But I will always remember that sweet little face of hers. — feeling wonderful.
Secrets, Facebook, Millionaire, and Anger Issues….Cree’s Blog Entry
I’m very proud of myself….. I’ve been doing really good with my ANGER issues. I’m working so, so hard to just learn to fall back, and not speak a word, especially when its not important. I learned that my issue is not having an attitude in the morning, or when I walk into a room… mine come in on STUPID ISH. For example. I was driving the other night from a movie, and there was a Detroit Tigers game that had just let out, and while WE had the GREEN light, people were still walking across the street like THEY HAD THE RIGHT AWAY. Okay, so I’m cool with it, then after while, people just kept on coming and “we” who had the right away….. was like okay nah…. we about to start driving… it is a green light for us. As I’m inching in letting the people know… this light is not going to stay green forever, I’m about to start driving.. this white dude… staring at me like… “YOU BETTA NOT HIT ME”… Lawd…. why did I have to see that look on his face? AND ITS MY TURN TO DRIVE THROUGH THE GREEN LIGHT!!!! I just started praying, I was about to lay on the horn for 30 minutes… LOL I just let God talk me out of it. This is the kinds of things I go through with being Angry. I NEVER fall out with family or friends… never have attitudes, never act funny to people… its other people and their ignorance that sends me over the top. But I’ve been doing good for the last 2 weeks or so. Trying not to have “ANGER stories to tell”. Trying to get up to ZERO STORIES.
I was sitting up thinking about how if we had Facebook back in the day when I was in my 20’s…. what would MY stats be? LOL LOL LOL Baaaaaby… it would probably read…”Had a party last night at my house, and when the morning came, my sister friend was laying in the drive way sleep”. ” One of my boos was ova, he wasn’t talking about nothing, so when the phone rang and it was my other boo, I pretended to have a headache and made home boy leave.” LOL On my way to Watts Club Mozambique *male dancers* to see my baby Ace Lee” “Got my gurls ova, we bout to talk ish over spades and down 1800, absolute, and Henny”. ” Walked up in the club looking good, banging body, hair laid, and all the men looking at me.” LOL Thank God, we didn’t have that mess, I can save some of my drama and foolishness LOL LOL for the world to see. HAHAHAHAHA… those kids can have it… I only use it to uplift. I think that’s why I can relate to so many people, is because I know and remember the person I use to be, and so when I see young people behaving the same way…. I don’t JUDGE them. I try to help them. I have a lot of young gurls from my old job, and they listens to me. They have to have their day where they’re foolish, so when I speak to them I try to let them see another light of it. The sooner you come out of your foolishness, the sooner you can get on with God’s plan for your life.
I watched about 4 Secret Millionaire episodes this past week, and they were so good….. had me crying like a baby. If I ever got rich or have a husband who is, I’m going to spend his money giving it away. I will volunteer for the rest of my life to helping teens, women, and the elderly. So many of our young people need help. One day I had group meetings with students at work, and I was so shocked to hear how many kids who have foster parents. Even the grandmothers are either dead, or can’t be there for them. I think a lot of people from my generation were on drugs, and sexually abused. It was so many rapes going on in my days of being a teen, and some of these women never recovered. Everything is a dang ole secret now a days… PISSES ME OFF. I HATE SECRETS. HATE THEM WITH A PASSION. These grandmothers raising their grand kids with all this LOVE, they should have shown their daughters when they were growing up. Now the daughter lost her way, and the grandmother is not telling the whole story to anyone or the grand kids about why her daughter cant MENTALLY raise her own kids. The daughter has been raped, molested, exposed to drugs, didn’t have a father at home, was left to find food for her siblings…. all kinds of stuff. I’ve seen it first hand… and after all these years.. it angers me to know this story about my friend. Anyway…. let me get off this subject.
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Inside the mind of cree 