The Seven Deadly Dating Sins     Â
  Â
I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve come across a woman who thought her new relationship was progressing when seemingly out of nowhere it fell apart. Her man was mysteriously gone, and she was clueless as to why.
From what I’ve observed as a relationship therapist, during the dating phase men may be almost totally silent about something that bothers them until the very moment they can’t take it anymore and abruptly pull the plug. They may never explain exactly what caused the sudden change. They simply disappear without a trace, and the women are left wondering, Why didn’t he just say something?
Â
 By Dr. Ronn Elmore~
- Too Intimate Too Soon
CeCe always prided herself on keeping her wits about her when the heat was on, but it had been a while since she had been with a man who was so attentive. Even though it was only her second date with Errol, she felt as if some of her long-lost sense of romance and passion were being reawakened. Before she knew it, she was caught up in the moment doing what she knew better than to do. Afterward she remembered staring at the ceiling until dawn wondering why she had given in. Errol called the following day (thank goodness) and sounded, well, casual. CeCe began to obsess over everything, from the tone of his voice to the regularity of his calls and even his facial expressions. She couldn’t stop wondering what he really thought of her and whether their relationship was going anywhere, Errol liked her but began to feel that the cost of having sex with CeCe was too high. He wasn’t ready to declare a long-term commitment to her. It was too early in the game to be pinned down. Their budding romance died on the vine before it ever had a chance to bloom.
What went wrong: Premature sex tends to bump expectations up to a higher level when there’s no relationship to base them on. Sure, you get the physical pleasure, but there can be a tendency to overplay the emotional content of the act. It becomes nearly impossible to return to the early stages of building a relationship incrementally after you’ve shared your body- and, at least momentarily, your heart- with him. You’ll probably find him too much of an emotional risk; he’s likely to feel its too much work to live up to the expectations he thinks you have now.
Solution: Have your limits firmly set in your mind before he rings your doorbell for that first date. You’re less likely to get lost in the moment if you think ahead to the morning after and how you’ll feel if he gets the idea that it doesn’t take much for you to compromise your limits. If you have no intentions of ending up in bed with him, consider confining your date to very public places.
    You must also understand that men are wired differently from women. After intense physical or emotional intimacy, men typically move to reclaim their sense of independence. They instinctively move away from you, a little or a lot, in preparation for moving closer to you. It’s their built-in cycle: independence, intimacy, independence…………..
 Dating Sin # 2 tomorrow!
Inside the mind of cree 
I’m guilty as charged!
LikeLike
So wait Mike dont go. Let me ask you this. When you had sex during the first or second date with a woman. What makes you don’t care about how that person felt, or how you felt? Did you feel “funny” giving up your body to someone who you didn’t care for in that way………………..just to mix that person’s spirit in with the person you are with now?
What makes a man come in contact with a women who he aint even feeling like that?
This topic is going to get real real deep.
Lacrease
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
LikeLike
I dint date anymore,The last few guys Ive went on a date with somehow got to talking about sex too fast for me.Now I admit the jeans were a bit tight lol….. but that doesnt mean a thing.Im just relaxing now.
No men until I’m comfortable
LikeLike
LaCrease…you are about to start something up in here!
LikeLike
Gurl yeah its about to be on and poppin!!! lol
LikeLike
Say that Kema!!!!!!! It comes a time when you want a relationship, a real relationship. Sex is the easiest thing in the world to get, you can get a man to come over and have sex with you, before you can get that same man to take you to the grocery store to get you and your KIDS some food for the week.
Lacrease
LikeLike
You gotta know who you’re with.. and you have to enjoy that part of a relationship.. getting to know someone. But you must take notes.. cuz a lot of times there are thing that are said and done duing the introductory stages that we don’t pay attentions to ,but it comes up later …. The first part of a realtionship can be a beginning or an ending … but you gotta make that first part last long enough to determine if you want to move on or move out …. All movies don’t have a sequal for a reason…. ( i don’t know where that came from..LOL , But I wanted to use that lil pharse right there ..LOL) I mean you can apply it to the blog i guess..LOL its just felt right to say …whheee i better leave this chocolate along huh..lol
LikeLike
GUILTY!!!!
LikeLike
I been guilty in the past but now sex aint on the list cause I dont wont no man with his funky sweatty booty all up on me taking my goods and then I may not be talking to him in a month or so … uhun girl aint happening i keep the goods on lock so they can stay good!! lol HEY CRE!!! I been so busy at work I havent even been able to mess around like usual I can actually say i been working for my money…
LikeLike
Guilty as charged on multiple counts and i am praying not to be guilty again
LikeLike
My final thoughts on Part 1 of The Seven Deadly Dating Sins.
I believe that its fair to say that we’ve all been guilty in this area at one time in our lives or another. But I have great news.
Today you can turn that around. You no longer have to give up your body to please your flesh any longer. Waiting to get to know someone will be the best choice you’ll ever make. Don’t feel pressured to have sex with the person whom you are dating before you get to know him or her. Ive learned the older and wiser I become, the less mistakes in this area Im making. Get to know your new friend before turning over the keys to your soul.
Lacrease
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
LikeLike
Where works of the flesh exsists, there is NO joy and this sentiment is true in this instance. If indeed you have premartial sex all you have is the work of the flesh, God ain’t backing it and thus you have some since of quick gratification that soon fades.
However, when you intercourse is backed by the approval of God and it is blessed. There and only there you can experience joy in intercourse.
There is indeed good nuggets in this post. I’ve been this woman in a cycle of love-like-lust fueled only by the passion of my flesh. Never fulfilling and never bringing joy.
Now I can bodly say, If it ain’t Godly I don’t want it. Be blessed!
I am a Psalm 51 woman~
LikeLike
for the most part premature sex is trhe wrong way to go. but i was in a very very long term result as a result of a date l;ike that…i will love that woman all my life.. I know that’s the exception and not the rule but it did happen
LikeLike
Im always stressing to my daughter that sex is for married folks! When I got saved and started reading in the bible about sex and how it is so not for those who are not married, I began to understand that the reason why we go through so much drama with “our baby daddy” is becasue the sex was premature. When you have it you are becoming one with that person.
One day I was at work and the person I am today was a different person back in the day. So when we both looked at each other, I was like UGHHHHHHHHH he had me before! He had my body, he can say he was with me. And instanlty I didnt like that. So when he approached me with this ” lets hook back up smile” I admit I did look funny at him like………….you got me messed up buddy! But do you see how our spirits connected? But let that had been one of my male friends that I never had sex with, I wouldnt have felt that way. It would have been a different conversation. I would have been saying, whats up boo? How are you? Yada yada yada.
Thats why its important to stay away from sex while you are dating. Make sure you check your atmpshere, not to set the mood for it. It may sound corney to some, but you know what? They will see what Im saying one day or another. Make him your husband, and when God says its on……its on. Until then stay celibate like me 5 YEARS strong………….. AND IM LOVING IT!
Lacrease
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
LikeLike
Hey Chikka! luvit!!!!
i have veri strict rules for myself bcuz of my selectivity…lol…
i dont give myself for free….i walk the streets with my head held high bcuz only a few men can POINT finger in my face, az my mother likes to say. I am too emotional to give myself and then expect nothing….especially if im feeling someone. listen im not talkin like im an angel or anything, ive had my jumpoff for the physical release, b.u.t. i went into that wit clear communication on what my purpose and intentions were….im a man like that…lmaoooooo, i dont like mixing signals…
ive always had certain rules with men i deal with….no one in my neighborhood, no one in my school, no one at my place of work…..heehee
im all lonely now gyrl..cdfuuuu…..its time for a jumpoff…lmaooooooooooooooooooo….im kiddin, i think?
ok off to read the others…..{wink}
luvin it!!
LikeLike