Today this lady and her grand daughter ( white gurl) came through my line, and when I saw the grand daughter who looked about 10, I noticed that something was deeply on her mind. My whole attitude changes when I see kids. I love them so much.
So, I said to the young gurl, heyyyyyyyy boo how are you? She looked up at me and said HI. I said boo whats wrong, I can tell something is on your mind. She said how can you tell, my own mom don\’t know. I was shocked that she said that in front of the lady, and she was too. So I said whats wrong are you okay? You can tell that she wanted to tell me, but her grandma was there. Then her grandma said, when she gets home and play her games, she\’ll be alright. The gurl looked at me again and said how do you know something is on my mind…….my own mom don\’t know.
Kids don\’t come with instructions Part 1
When Neisha was growing up, I promised myself that I was going to try to be in tune with everything that she does. I studied her moods, her ups and her downs. I tried my best to know when she\’s going through something. Everyday when she came home from school. I watched her every stop. To the kitchen, to the bedroom to drop her books, to the phone to call her friends, bathroom, rather or not she went in her room to stay. I watched and noticed everything about her.
That was my way to keep communication open . When kids go through something and the parent don\’t notice…………THAT\’S LIKE A BLOW TO THE HEAD TO THEM. They expect for you to know when they are acting different. Sometimes kids just wont/can\’t go to their parents and tell them what is bothering them. And there is nothing wrong with that, Because as parents, we have situations where we don\’t always go to our best friends, brothers, mother, father or sisters either.
- pay attention to your child\’s body language. When they come home from school pay attention to their facial expressions, and their ROUTINE.
- try to have the same routine in your home daily, so that you will be able to tell \”whats different\” in them.
- listen to your child, even if you don\’t agree with what they are saying. Let them get it out……………………..THEN……………………comment. That is a way of showing them that you ARE LISTENING to them. Sometimes kids just want to be heard.
- Make sure that your child see /hear you say to others \”gurl let me call you back, I gotta talk to my \”baby\” right quick. That is showing them that you are putting all things aside and focusing on them.
The one mistake I made many times raising Neisha, is when I forget that I was a child too. I would listen to my daughter tell her story, and then go off on her! Then I had to humble myself, and listen to her story as if I was that same child telling my story to my mother. In doing that I can go back and think of how I felt, and then come to an ADULT conclusion on how to handle the situation. Listen to your child with your eyes, \”okay\” \”yes\” I understand\” are words that I often use to show that I am listening, and concerned. After wards a hug, and a kiss is a sign that peace and understanding has been established in the communication process. Make sure you always end that way. No matter how old they are! It works.
6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4 (New International Version)