Just being Cree

Since Sept 11, I have been thinking about \”me and my big mouth\” as Joyce Meyer would say. That\’s my other issue. Sometimes when I\’m upset or have over analyzed something, I will write without thinking about how bad the email/message sound. And as always I will wake up the next morning, FEELING GOOD and have forgotten all about the message and the impact if may have had on that person, when I\’m willing to apologize and make amends, not to mention have a total different attitude about the situation and regret that I even SENT the email the other person is looking at me like………….WE AIN\’T EVEN COOL LIKE NO MO………. BOO! Its one thing for me to think it in my mind, write it out, send it to my self, or delete it, but its another to send it out to that person. And as usual the effect it has on the person……….is all my fault.
Don\’t get me wrong at all. I am a sweet person. I love people and will do anything for them. I have a lot of friends, and I find myself praying for others, and listening to them cry, talk, laugh into the wee hours of the night. And I love it. But one thing people ( those who don\’t know me well) find me to be brutally honest. I\’m sorry, I don\’t hold back punches. I ask hard questions because I think that it makes people self examine themselves. I do this to myself all the time, when I don\’t have anyone to talk too. People who know me knows that I hold back no punches, and I don\’t sugar coat anything. When you tell me something, its between me and you. You don\’t ever have to worry about me telling your business. I don\’t like anyone telling my business, and so I give my friends the same respect. I have people in my life right now, who feel they can\’t trust me, because I \”keep secrets\”. That hurt my feelings so bad, but if it was them, they would want me to keep theirs too.
People feel that a person who asks a lot of questions are people who are noisy and tell other people\’s business. I shake my head at them, cause YOU think you know ME, but you have no idea. Get to know me. Call me talk to me…….Lacrease, and see who I am in person. Yeah, writing is good, but talk to me over the phone, meet me somewhere, get to know who I am. Then I\’ll have to spend the rest of our friendship with you saying, you were right!! LOL.
I say I\’m brutally honest because I just can\’t stand to spend 20 -30 minutes on one conversation, when I can ask you 5-7 cut throat questions and then you will know your answer for yourself. My true friends love me for it, but for those getting to know me, well……….they are learning. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself, because I can over do my \”honesty\” and cause people to look at me with death in their eyes.
Yesterday at work, I was working the 20 items or less lane. Now, when I\’m working this lane, its 20 items or less, so I like to treat it as one. So there are 3 bag holders on this lane, so when the lady went to grab her bags, she didn\’t want to look for them, she only wanted me to tell how her many bags she had. So I said ma\’am, there are only 3 holders!!! She laugh and said O. LOL
Sometimes, I feel that I do need to tone it down, and try not to be SO CUT THROAT. Some people really can\’t take it or maybe not use to hearing the truth in their faces…….. FULL FORCE.
My God sister called me and asked me what should she do, because she met back up with this guy she had a crush on when they were teens. He want to \”kick it\” with her.
I said :
  1. You are married!!! I\’m not about to AMEN a situation for YOU just because you USED to have a crush on him and he\’s back in the picture. God will never get me for YOU!
  2. Ask yourself, how would you feel if your husband met back up with someone whom he had a crush with when he was in his teens?
  3. Ask yourself, if your husband found out, knowing you know everything about him and his ways, what would he do?
  4. Would your marriage survive if your husband knew?
  5. How would you treat your husband, when you look into his eyes, hear his voice over the phone, and KNOW that he doesn\’t know your secret? With guilt, or with Love?
  6. Ask yourself, are you the kind of person who take things out on your husband, getting mad and acting funny, just because you are doing wrong? Ask yourself, is that fair.
The reason why I ask these questions, is because I believe with all my heart that God gave me the gift to understand the seriousness of the consequences for our actions. I also know that we can\’t \”sweep things under the rug\” all the time either, its going to come out one day, and your \”credit\” is going to be on the line. I hate to see people fall, and get caught up in a jam just because of something that was prolong. OOOOOO it kills me. Somethings you don\’t have to bring up, somethings are self explanatory, some things you may need to go into detail. But you have to make sure that its the right things. And by you being my friend, don\’t get mad when I get mad because people are attacking you because you are not
answering the questions. You are my friend, and yes, I\’m asking you first, cause I\’m your friend, cause when \”they\” get to you………….ain\’t gone be nothing nice!!! So what they don\’t want to hear the reason why you didn\’t/did do something, just say something. Did I lose y\’all? Haaaaaaaa. let me take 5. Be back!
I\’m like this with everyone I communicate with. And guess what? I only want friends who are like wise. I know how to talk to people, so I start asking God………..OK are they mad at me because of my questions? Is it because of how I say it? Is it because of the way I word it? Is it because they don\’t want to answer them because it challenges them to THINK deeply about the situation? Do they feel that I\’m being a smart mouth? Lord, why do people get upset about questions like these? I dunno.
Listen, I\’m going to close this out. I will be back tomorrow.

I am constantly self evaluating and checking myself cause I know that I can come across as judgemental when really I am just passionate about a certain subject. Those that have taken the time to get to really get to know me know that.~~ The QUEEN


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