N2SAY

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this day. Thank you for opening my eyes to many things, that I didn’t see in the past. Sometimes I feel so misunderstood. Right now in my life, I’m just learning to shut up. Just plain and simple. I’m always the one who takes up for folks, who defend them.I have to explain everything, and try to make everything alright. And in the end I up-end “jacking myself up”. Haha I wrote this before, but I have to keep saying this until I get it. 

 

So check it…..

 

 Lately, situations have been coming at me left and right. And I know for a fact, people know that I react to conversations and issues that gets me hype. I would hear the story, ( my inside would turn over 5 times) and still I won’t have nothing to say. My sister told me something yesterday that got me boiling, and I didn’t say a word, so she came back later and said….. so what you got to say about such and such? It killed me to say….. nothing.  My other Sister called  JUST TODAY, and turned me red, about her story. She said what do you have to say………… I said “nothing”. Everybody, I MEAN EVERYBODY take the little things I SAY AND MAGNIFY THEM. Like my comments are valuable and have meaning. And it gets on my nerves sometimes, cause what I DONT SAY, means just as much as what I did say. Its like I can’t win.

Then as soon as I voice my opinion on it, people get mad, or “CORRECT ME, OFF A SITUATION THATS NOT EVEN MINES!!!! WTH? I DONT CARE, I DONT CARE, I  DONT CARE I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE!!!!! I don’t care about anybody’s issues. I have enough on my plate. If I say something………… I’m wrong, and if I don’t say anything……….. IM ACTING FUNNY.

See, now I’m just sitting back and watching people. I’m sitting back and watching people BE THEM! They are being the people they have always been, it’s just that IM JUST SEEING THE REAL THEM. I’m  not calling anybody, I’m not visiting anybody, I’m just sitting back watching and listening. I don’t HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT ANYTHING.

 

I’m learning to be quiet, to just listen. To learn something, just from being quiet. I know a lot of things, but when I’m talking to people, sometimes I “act dumb” just to hear more, or just to make sure I know the facts, that too has gotten me in trouble. LOL  Someone may say, did you hear about such and such who got into a car accident? I would know, but would say No, just to leave my name out of it as the person who bought up the conversation. If its gossip, I will say, gurl yeah I heard about it, and all we can do is pray. I don’t like all that mess. But meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I can say…… gurl this milk taste like butter pecan. That person will tell the next person…………… Lacrease SAID, it takes like Butter Pecan. Okayyyyyyyyyy whats the big deal in repeating the fact that I SAID IT?  Over, and over, and over, and over I am seeing this, and some of it has gotten me in trouble with others.Whew the life of LaCrease. People take me so serious sometimes. I wonder what impression do I leave on others? Hmmmm.

 

Enough about that!!! God where is my husband? Do you even have one for me in this life? LOL I’m mean seriously? Whoever marries me, will LOVE ME! I am so funny, love to touch, love to laugh, love to talk and play. Can take care of business like nothing you’ve ever seen!!! Love to travel, will take chances only if it sounds right. LOL Hmmmmmm I think Imma write a love story. Havent done that in 12 years. My BF and her husband gives me ideas to write. I just love them, and admire them dearly. The Love they have for God is just mind-blowing to me. I have been there with her step by step, ups and downs, and Im so happy for them.  My momma wants to go back to Atlanta!! Oh boy………. I don’t… not right now. Well, off to bed, gotta work in the A.M.!

 

Love ya……CREE!!!

 

 

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