the man in the ELEVATOR
Thank you Jesus for waking me up this morning…. I could be dead this morning, but I’m so glad that I’m in that number, to still be in the race!!!
Men are really something. I study them a LOT…. a whole LOT. I just don’t say anything. I watch the boys at work, men that engage in conversations with others, the stats they post on FB or tweet. I pay attention to everything.
Whenever I walk into the elevator here in my building, there is this guy who likes me, and whenever he’s on there, before I get on, he seems to be hypnotized by my presence. Can’t lie….. I am too. So, I started paying more attention to the men who are alone with me on the elevator. I realized that its the PERSONAL SPACE that creates an atmosphere that allows our Spirits to connect. I can feel it. I can not even explain how I feel when I’m in the elevator with him. He’s FIONE….. TALL TALL TALL, THICK * A POWER HOUSE* pretty smile. And he looks at me with such intensity. He makes me wanna sing the lyrics to “C-Low and Melanie Fiona ” A fool for you. Melanie Fiona – Verse)
OH, So sweet, so deep, so real, oooh weeee, got damn!That’s some powerful stuff Ooh, How you do it? Do do do it[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/fool-for-you-lyrics-melanie-fiona.html ]Keep it coming baby, I can’t seem to get enough What you do, what you say Makes me want to luh luh love you Baby, I don’t even have a choice Ooh and if I did it’d still be you Cuz you’re the man, among these other boys
Sweet sugar, I surrender, white flag, Oh I won’t even put up a fight Ooooh cuz there ain’t a damn thing wrong About this kind of loving Ooh when it feels so right
Call her, write a letter, tell it to my mama And she gon’ tell the world that I love You !Oooooh some people probably say I’m crazy But I don’t mind, being a fool a for you.
I’m a fool, I’m a fool, I’m such a fool
So, this morning, the elevator opened up…..and there he was ALONE. I wanted to wait on the next one going down. I was looking cute and smelling good too. This time he had the power…. LOL usually when I’m on FIRST I have the POWER. I got on and we made small talk, actually we’ve been friends for a while, we text, and everything. He looked at me, I turned my head… cause MY eye contact is ANOTHER STORY. I get real quiet and shy. He can tell. And what’s funny… is that whenever we go to another floor on the way down to pick up someone else, as soon as that door open, OUR SPIRITS spill out unto that floor, and as the person come in, they look at us both THEN walk in. They can feel something from us. Its in the air. I can’t even look this guy in the eye…. and its so cute because he stares at me all the way until we get to the first floor. He DOESNT CARE WHO IS ON THE ELEVATOR WITH US. LOL Its only been 3 months since I moved on my own, and I dunno know if I’m attracting many guys to me, or is it that I’m free, and find myself “looking available”? Something is definitely different about me. I guess I’m just feeling good about myself.
In other news…… I was at work today and got a call from SECURITY in my building. I couldn’t take it, but I called back when I got the chance. Well.. they told me that I apparently I didn’t shut my apartment door good enough, and when someone walked pass, they went to the office and told them. So, they came up walked around to make sure that everything looked okay, and then called me. This is the 3rd time I did this. I have to be careful.
Man, the way the door shut, you have to wait for a “snap” in order to know its closed, no matter how much you check it. The last time this happened about 2 weeks or less ago. The guy who likes me *elevator* was walking pass, and he saw my door open, I WAS LAYING ON THE COUCH SLEEP!!! OH LAWD JESUS…. In my sleep I heard lots of talking, and then I heard the wind blowing or something. Well it woke me up to him looking in my apartment to see why was my door opened. When I saw him, I said CLOSE MY DOOR!!!! I just started screaming. I did apologize to him later. I remember opening the door just before my nap, and hearing someone in the hall way and decided to take my trash out later. I laid down and didn’t close the door all the way. Man, I gotta be careful. Later when me and him talked about that, he told me that he wanted to come in my apartment and have his way with me …..Wow… Men can take something so serious to a woman… and make it ALLLLLL ABOUT THEM. *blank stare*
Tomorrow Story….. Remember we sharing about the gurls who are the LEADERS in school. and me saying that if I can break down the LEADERS OF THE GROUP…. I can get to her crew? Well, not only did I break her down… but now she calls me AUNTIE….. LOL AND BAAAAABY SHE’S A HANDFUL!!!! GOSH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THOUGH. If I was to have another baby, it would be a boy. I cant deal with the gurls like I use too. They be doing the MOST!
Well, I’m about to go to bed…. Be Blessed
Today was a good day!!! :)
Hey 🙂
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Today was a good day!!! I slept most of my School Vacation last week. LOL Now since school has started back… I’m not even sleepy even on 4-5 hour sleep nights. I bet you tonight though…. I’ll be in bed by 11:00. LOL
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As I look around my apartment, I can’t help but think about Atlanta. I still want to live there, and I know its coming. Its really deep that since being back, me and my dad have gotten really close. I even moved him around the corner from me, so that if he needs me I can be there real quick. God has a way of helping you to heal of past hurts. Who knows what could have happened, if I was living in Atlanta and he died without me getting the PEACE I always wanted about him. And the funny thing is, my mom is laid back, she says her peace, and she’s done. You knew she mean business. But my dad is the one who is aggressive and strong minded. All 4 of us take after my dad. We are all STRONG MINDED…. they say I’m the worst, but I don’t think so. We all are. Guess what I’m really saying is, that’s probably why me and my dad didn’t get along because of that. But God is working it out.
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My kids at school are something else. It takes a STRONG person to work with these kids today. Baby, if I didn’t work with them daily, nobody could tell me the things they say and do. What amazes me is that God equipped me to do this. If parents knew what their kids were doing, they would either be upset, or say “they do that at home”. I am also happy that I was placed in a school where the neighborhood has gangs and lots of issues with anger. These are the students I feel I can reach. I’m very firm, I can be cool, I’m easy to talk too, but at the same time…. I have to BOSS UP. The boys are way taller than me, and the gurls are BEAST these days. I dunno why this job challenges me. I love getting the “Leaders” of the group and breaking them down. I learned once you break that leader down….. you can get to her/his crew. There is one gurl who thinks she’s so tough. She was running her mouth to me today….. I gave her this one look, and told her in my low, “to the point ..direct eye contact voice “FALL BACK” , she knew I meant business. Can’t wait to see her tomorrow. She’s one of those loud gurls…. I use to be just like that. Talk loud, thinking I’m saying something and wasn’t doing anything. I think this is why I love this job, I see myself in many of the students. The boys are hard headed… BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I raised one daughter, but never a boy. But I have a stronger connection to them. These gurls are really different than back in the day. Boys they get over ” me fussing” with them and they hold no grudges… but them GALS….BAAAABY they will gang up on you, and you have to threatened to exclude them in order for them to calm down. But I love my job. I love kids…. Maybe I need to have one more. Who knows. LOL
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I have been writing like crazy. I’m so proud of myself. I have really a lot of work done. I just hope people get it. I do. Speaking of “getting it”. This week I’m going to do a blog on Temptation Tyler’s movie…..some people are just not getting it. And it bothers me so bad, so I will do that this week. ALL OF YOU AND NONE OF ME LORD….. when I write that one!! Oh boy!
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Alright off to bed. Know that God loves you, and always SHOW YOURSELF FRIENDLY 🙂
Cree
*photo my nieces Brittney and Ganell*
TP Biggest Fan * great video footage*
Okay, I’m going to make this REAL QUICK!!! * in a hurry*
Everybody who knows me, KNOWS I love me some Tyler Perry!!! I love the messages and the lessons that he present in his movies, plays, and sitcoms. The day he was on Steve Harvey show, I missed it. Never knew it was coming on. Well the RESEARCHER I AM… *VIRGO IN ME* I FOUND IT!!!! FIRST I WANT YOU TO WATCH THE LEAD UP TO THE DAY OF THE TAPING FROM SONYA…. THEN WATCH THE ACTUAL DAY THAT SHE WAS ON THE SHOW…. AS TYLER PERRY’S BIGGEST FAN!!! I LOVE THIS… BECAUSE ONE DAY IM GOING TO MEET HIM. IM SO HAPPY FOR HER, BECAUSE I KNOW IM GOING TO FEEL THIS SAME WAY. SO ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VIDEO SHE PUT TOGETHER.
Relationship *MATH* by Nelly * love this* TRUTH
Rapper Nelly sat for a candid interview where he revealed if he ever plans to marry and why industry relationships often fail.
Now that we’ve watched his longterm relationship with Ashanti fizzle out, and seen him spark up something new with actress Tae Heckard, rapper Nelly gave a surprisingly candid interview about his thoughts on marriage and relationship (which might explain the backstory to of the Ashanti breakup).
He says he does want to get married one day, but no one will pressure him into it. Also, he gave an interesting perspective on industry relationships saying you can’t compare them to “normal” couples. He says you can’t compare a relationship between to non-celebrities who’ve been dating for seven years, to that of a celebrity couple who’s been dating for the same amount of time. He explained that if you factor in all the travel and time spent away from home, the celebrity couple might have only spent three years together. It’s a different kind of math. Here are the highlights:
On industry relationships:
I think people see the relationships that industry folk have and they see the time, but there’re not doing the math. If you do the math on that time, you’ll see that it equals out to something totally different.
On public perception of his relationships:
I shy away from public perceptions about my relationships. You can’t tell me what I should be doing in my relationship. I’m not home everyday. I haven’t seen her in two weeks. You see so many celebrities get married and then they’re divorced in a year. You know why? It’s because when they get finally get together….the -ish that you thought was cute, becomes annoying.
On if he will ever get married:
Yea I think so. But nobody is going to force me. Nobody is going to rush me into anything. Marriage is something you should do when you are ready to do it and you know this is everything. I take marriage very seriously. And I only know two ways of marriage. My parents’ marriage didn’t last at all and my grandparents’ marriage lasted 60 years. I’m either gonna go all the way to 60, or I’m not gonna do it.
On being faithful:
I know me. If I have any questions, I’m going to play on that and eventually that may weigh in on the situation.
On if he’s ever been close to marriage:
I don’t think you’ve been close until you’ve been engaged. (He’s never been engaged).
My lovely weekend!!!
<~~~ How Im feeling today. LOL
Wow what a wonderful weekend I had.
Anytime I’m with my Sisters, my mom and my friends I’m always happy. Just being in the presence of these women makes me smile. I want to Thank my Sister Yolanda, Charlene, Gloria G, Gloria W, Tanisha, her daughter, and her friend, Lanice, Ms. Sweety, Darcella, Vikki, Shann, My mom, Tyra, Tammy and myself makes 16. We ALL met up at the movies at 2:30 to see Tyler Perry’s TEMPTATION confessions of a marriage counselor. My second FAVORITE MOVIE FROM HIM!!!And yes…. it was jammed packed!!! Then afterwards we went down the street to Apple bees had dinner over discussion. We had a good time. I love when women get together and have different ways of looking at the same movie… sometimes I’m like huh? How did you come to that? LOL There is one thing, that we couldn’t agree on. I wont say it yet, in case some of you haven’t seen it yet. But let me say this…. please go and see this with your husbands, and wives, this movie will have you thinking, and make you realize what you have. I’m such a message person, I can get a message out of a dog waiting on his master to cross the street. LOL This movie will make you look at life differently.
Today is one of those days where I’m feeling……”some kinda way”. Can’t explain how I’m feeling. So my friend started his new job today. I won’t be seeing him anymore. I think its best, why waste time with a man when you know what he wants, and you have no plans to give it to him? He called me several times… I didn’t answer the phone. I’m done with that chapter…
I GUESS YOU KNOW….. today I was taking a nap on the couch, when I heard this loud burst of wind and people talking like they were in the next room. I just laid under the cover *to lazy to turn on some heat*, but then the noise seemed closer. So, I came from under the cover and there my door was CRACKED WIDE ENOUGH for me to see a guy who works in the building sweeping. We know each other and so after I realize it was him. I SCREAMED “HOW DID MY DOOR GET OPEN”? CLOSE MY DOOR!!!! CLOSE MY DOOOOOOOR!!! Poor guy, he said okay…. I’ll close it, but I don’t know how it got open either.
Before I could snap completely out of my sleep, I realize that it was him *someone who likes me*, he was wondering too how did my door get open. Then I remembered that I was about to take my trash to the compactor but it was someone in the hall and my night dress was short, so I came back in and “thought” I closed the door good. Then at some point I decided to take a nap before I leave out at 4:30, realizing that I didn’t close it all the way. I guess this is the part that has me WEIRD all day.
After he closed the door… I went right into a dream, where I was coming out of the shower… naked… and there he was. He threw me to my floor and raped me. Aint that something, he was saying you’re going to learn to stop telling men who like you, that you are celibate. I was so shocked. I woke up after so long into the dream and felt weird all day. I did text him and tell him that I was sorry for screaming, he understood. But now when I see him working in the building…. I KNOW IM GOING TO FEEL WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDD as I look and talk to him. So, I guess the lesson in that dream is to be careful what I share.
Well, on my way to take a bath, and yes the door is locked. LOL Going to read my bible and lay on the couch afterwards. I’m enjoying these days off.
Be Blessed!!!
Temptation *stay away from places that will tempt you*
So, Tyler Perry movie will be out tomorrow night. I’m there!!! This is the PERFECT movie for ME at this time in my life. * GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE*… THIS WEEKEND!!!
As I’ve shared before…..I met this guy who I’m really crazy about, haven’t liked a guy like this in years. It takes a special man to get my attention, and he was the one. He’s honest and up front, and that’s what I LOVE most about him. He told me some really deep things yesterday, that I respect. These are situations that was there before me. This also play apart of me knowing that he is NOT the one for me. Even though we talk a lot, I do not plan to see him anymore in a way that we had before.
At my age 45, I refuse to continue to be in someone’s life when I know they are NOT for me. I’m just waiting for the one God has for me. I have never been the type of woman to have a man for the sake of “having a man”. I want to look at him and admire him. His eyes, his lips, his smile, his facial expression, his kindness, his tone of voice, his touch, his SMELL, his kiss…. even the way he wears his hair, and facial hair. They say VIRGOS LOVE hard…. I find this to be true when we’re with people whom we truly love and admire. I can never just “pass” out my LOVE.
What I learned is… its okay to move on from my him. When he revealed some very important information to me, I knew he was in my life for a season. Even though he’s trying to stay in my picture, he can’t. I LOVED how I felt when I was around him. How he looked at me, how he kissed me, how he touched me. He says I’m ghetto, when I’m expressing myself because of how expressive I am, and I say “he be saying his stuff” too, because he geeks people up and then brags on himself. So funny!!! We had so much fun laughing and acting silly! I haven’t invited him into my apartment, because I don’t want to put myself in a atmosphere where I would be TEMPTED into having sex. This is so important for women to know and UNDERSTAND. I know its hard, but if you can’t see yourself marrying this man, there is no reason to give him your loving. I’m sorry. So many women are just giving themselves away, so when someone like me come along, men expect for me to be just like the others. No, no, no. I want to always be different than the other women, when a man meets me. Always! I’ve never been to his place either. I wish I was this strong in my late 20’s. I know what I want, and who I want now that I’m in my 40’s.
I’m going to miss my friend…. I have to move on. We’re on two different pages. But he’ll always be in my heart.
Be Blessed
One of my favorite Students * I love kids*
Today was a silent day. My BFF can always tell when something is going on with me. Sometimes it makes me sick.(LOL) I get quiet and she knows it. More on that in my next blog entry.
I knew that when I went to work this morning the students would make me feel better. Its a trip that I prayed for a gurl when Nesha was born. I’m finding out that my bond is closer with the boys. They don’t have attitudes, they play too much, and will try you, but for the most part…. I think I’ve been sleeping on them.
I have never in my life seen so many gurls with attitudes… for NO reason. But I study them, I found out that gurls go through a lot. We are very emotional, and we think about stuff way too much. Boys let it go through their minds and its over. Imma have to talk to GOD about that. LOL Here I am still thinking about an email almost a week ago, and the person who sent it, probably aint thought no more about it. LOL Its funny, but its not. I need to find out why we’re like this.
I remember being 14 and thinking about boys all day long. I couldn’t sleep too busy thinking about boys. And trust me, they do the same thing, as soon as the bell ring, they are somewhere looking for their gurlfriends and HER friends to play in the hall way. I’m learning with kids though, that they are doing exactly what they’re suppose to do…. PLAY and learn from their experiences.
This one boy, he’s just like me…. let people get under his skin. I’m better with it because I’m older and have more experience with dealing. I see myself in him so much its crazy. What amazes me is that people LOOK for opportunities to get under our skin. Seems as if they wake up to find people *like us* to irritate. But as soon as we SNAP….THEY’RE DONE WITH US!!! And you know what’s a trip? I have been in SO many situations where I’d find myself in, and I have to end up praying myself out of TURNING INTO THE INCREDIBLE HULK! I was standing in line one day, and the lady at the register was taking so long, with decided which things she wanted, she was with her friend who was so embarrassed, she left and went to sit in the car. This lady took so long, didn’t care about how long the line was. I was seconds from turning into the HULK. And when I get like this * not too often* I have to walk around in my little square, and think about PEACEFUL things like……. Flowers.. roses, water, rain, trees, clouds, God/Jesus, bathtub, rivers, and grass to keep me from turning into a green monster. My legs get to moving side to side, and my eyes probably turn GOLD. LOL I get hot, and if my mind wander from those things I name…. I can feel the ROAR in me when the HULK wants to rise. The best thing is…. I can hear God so clearly saying, Lacrease you can do it, just be calm, stay focus, don’t embarrass me, relax, its okay. So, I know what this boy is going through. He doesn’t know how to find a medium in how to react. I told him today…. its still a struggle for me… and I’m 46. He was shocked when I told him I still struggle. He’s a serious person just like me, and the people who love to play, love to get an reaction out of us, will be the ones to push our buttons. We had a good long talk today. I think he’s one of my favorites. 🙂
What hurts me the most is seeing those young gurls who are going through something. This one gurl walks the hall so slow, and with something heavy on her heart. I can tell when she looks at me that something is going on with her at home. I can feel it. I went to her and introduced myself and said to her… if you ever want to talk to me, you can.. my name is Ms. Walker and what ever we talk about is between me and you. I saw her today and my heart smiled. There is so much molestation and rape going on with these kids… it pisses me off. I know the spirit. Then some come to school and be as tough as they wanna be, then there are those who suffer in silence…. gotta leave this topic alone.:(
Next week is Spring Break… YES!!!! I’m going to the movies this weekend with my friends, and next week… I will be writing and catching up on personal things.
Be Blessed!
LOVE *deep love*
LOVE….
So, my new friend will be gone soon. We talked for a very long time last night, and he made it clear that he wants to be in my life. But we are not on the same page in many areas. That’s important to me. And its okay…. I hate for people to try to make a size 8 work on an 11 feet. This lady who I use to work with use to always say…. “don’t worry about the person who you’ve met not being the ONE, that means the person who is for you is STILL OUT THERE.” You have to turn loose this one, in order to get to HIM. Wow, I so get that!!!
On a LOVE note….
My heart is open to LOVE. When you LOVE someone DEEP, its funny how the person whom you LOVE will know even if you don’t say a word. I LOVE that. I’m so personal and private…. I wont admit it to the person, but he would know. Unless we are face to face and I can see his facial expression. LOVE is something you just can’t help. Yes…. you are right!! And there is nothing you can do about it!!!
On my way to bed…. lots to think about tonight. I hate when someone comes BACK into your life, and mix your head up… LOL LOL Why do I keep allowing this? L O V E
good night
I’m sad :(
I had a wonderful day at work today. When I came home from Georgia, I didn’t want to go back to Walmart. Seems like no one understood that. Yes, I was making GOOD MONEY there, and I’m good friends with all the managers, several are on my FB page. I just didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to be bothered with grown folks anymore. I wanted to work at a School with TEENS. I prayed, and prayed,, and prayed and prayed. As time went on, I was getting desperate and needed to work. But all my needs were being met and MORE. SO, it allowed me to hold off on making a decision to go back there. I’m so glad I waited on God. After being fingerprinted by the FBI, I am now working where I want…with Students at a High School….. I LOVE THEM!!! I have many stories to share later on this weekend. LOL
I’m looking forward to seeing them tomorrow because TONIGHT…. I’m sad. 😦
My friend * guy I like* called me tonight and told me that he got the job at the airport that he’s been waiting for. I’m so sad right now because he works a first job 7-3, and this job will be his afternoon job, so that means I won’t see him anymore after March. He says he’ll come to visit, but I know him, after working 16 hours a day, on his day off he’s going to want to sleep and be with his family. I can’t even cry, it hurts so bad.
I’m happy for him, because I know how he feels about this position. But dang…. Here comes this guy that I really like and he’s going to be gone from my life. He lives almost an hour away from me in the first place. This is going to be really hard for me. I’ll see him all weekend here at my job, could be therapy, or it could be tears 😦
But I have to be honest here. One day I walked up on him as he was reading the Bible. He looked up and said Hey! I asked what was he reading, he told me, then said…. I’ve been thinking about you. He said GOD told me something/several things ABOUT YOU… after he told me it blew my mind. All I could do is stare at him, caught me totally off guard. After that I went back to my apartment because I had to think alone about what he said.
I was sitting in the bathtub, and he called me. He said Lacrease are you mad at me, are you okay? Because I left so abruptly. I said yeah… I’m good. I said what you told me just blew me away. It was then while in the bathtub is when I realized AND KNEW FOR A FACT, that he was only in my life for a season and a reason. God knew it would take for someone I REALLY LIKE to come into my life and tell me what he told me. I knew THEN that eventually he would be leaving my life. I knew it. I knew it. Now that time is here. He was only in my life to share that, and I had to hear it from someone who I liked. I made him feel like everything is fine, and he never brought it up again.
Inside the mind of cree 