What Monique Didn’t Say/BLOG

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I NEVER ever curse in my blogs, but this one… THIS ONE RIGHT HERE…. I have to really express myself, to get MY POINT ACROSS.

I sat and watch the very fist clip of Monique going off on Oprah, Tyler Perry, and Lee Daniels on stage at least a good 15 times. Trying to figure out what I was missing about why she was feeling some kinda way. But let me go back a little. Back when the movie was playing or had been at the movies, I remember her telling a story about how all 3 of them pulled her to the side at different times to tell her the importance of promoting the movie. How she would be paid IN THE FUTURE for the fact that she was up for an Oscar. Not sure which one of these came first, the confrontation or the Oscar. At some point with the money she was being paid, and these power houses coming to her, she had to feel as if they didn’t know the full story, and if they did, she probably felt she didn’t want to hear any of it, being that she still didn’t get more money.

Now, I understand.

Monique said that she was paid $50,000 to do Precious. I don’t know how actresses are paid to do movies, I really don’t care because its not my field of interest, but Imma say this…. 50 thousand dollars aint it to me!!!!! I can leave my house RIGHT NOW come back in 2 hours and I’ll have a 10 dollar bill and 2 singles left, are  YOU kidding me? Let me just make that clear. Now, again I don’t know the going price for actresses, but if she signed on to do it, let it be done!

Now, lets get to BUSINESS!!!

I consider myself to be VERY popular at work. I’m a people person, full of laughs personality on 100, love to have fun, brutally HONEST…  I don’t put sugar on conversations, I’m a great LISTENER, I’m a sweet heart, and I love my work family. I KNOW… with everything in me, that If I said to all people on my shift, I’m throwing a 50th Birthday Party, we are all off on Sunday, I want you all to come out and celebrate with me. I KNOW 99 out of 100 people will be there. This is based off of integrity, honesty, realness, direct dealings, and my ability to PROMOTE MYSELF. So, I know, how business goes when it comes to putting your name on something. I say that to say.

So, Tyler and Oprah watched Precious before it was US released. And They LOVED IT!

They signed on to have THEIR NAMES as Producers, because we all know the other producers name doesn’t carry weight. When you’re dealing with BIG WIGS and they attach their names to ANYTHING, it will produce money. Oprah and Tyler are TWO of the biggest names in the game so you know how the outcome will be. By this time, Monique had already signed on the line for $50,00.  And she’s feeling some kinda way.

So, now its time to promote. Tyler and Oprah are producers, they made it very clear ITS NOT THEIR MOVIE,  that they won’t be receiving a dime, instead it goes to CHARITY!  But they wanted to promote it because they felt everyone should go out and support it. COOL!Nothing wrong with that!

At this time. Monique had to be feeling some kinda way, because SHE KNOWS and everyone sleeping in their graves know too, that with THEIR names attached this movie it’s going to do numbers. She knows that she got paid $50,000 FUNKY ASS DOLLARS, and now these folks  (( LIONSGATE ) want her to promote the movie with Oprah and Tyler WITH HER DAYUM MONEY.  So, Monique is saying to herself, yall want me to come off the couch with MY legs crossed, to fly here and there with the $50,000 yall gave me to do the MOVIE?  When this movie was going to DVD…YALL GOT ME MESSED UP!

Now let me say this, I believe with all my heart, that if Oprah and Tyler wouldn’t have signed on to promote it, she wouldn’t have a problem doing the promo’s. If they had any promo to do. Let me tell you why? Lee Daniels THOUGHT IT WAS GOING STRAIGHT TO DVD. He didn’t participate for the movie to go to the movies, and it wasn’t either, until OPRAH AND TYLER watched it. I need to say that for others to UNDERSTAND the mentality of Lee Daniels concerning this movie. This movie was NOT planned to go to Cannes at all PERIOD. I guess Lee felt that if Oprah and Tyler signed on to make the movie known and to skip DVD, that Monique should have jumped on it.  That she should have been “Grateful” that the movie was going to the movies, and that her performance was OSCAR WORTHY. Not with $50,000 SHE WOULDN’T.. ! HELL  NAW!

Now keep in mind that’s not towards Oprah and Tyler at all. Its against Lee Daniels and the power he had to make sure MONIQUE gets the money she deserves, SINCE now Oprah and Tyler has signed on! Also that MENTALITY would work with a new comer, a person trying to get exposure,  a person doing their first movie, but NOT with a seasoned actress and stand up like MONIQUE…. Um cuse me!

When she received a called to promote, she told them she was with her family and wanted to spend time with them. Even if that was true, or NOT,…  I understand that the studio doesn’t give traveling money to promote. Okay fine. Now,  do I believe Monique to be feeling some kinda way….. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! She felt if they signed on, LET THEM PROMOTE IT.. SHE KNEWWWWWWWWWW, how much she got paid and how much the MOVIE WAS GOING TO MAKE.

Monique did make mention that when Tyler summoned her to his dressing room, and clapped to his people to leave the room (( Tyler I love you, but that was funny)) she did throw shade about how that happened, but she wasn’t mad about that, she was mad cause their name went on the bill and the value of the movie went UP and they didn’t pay her more MONEY, knowing the studio WOULD MAKE A KILLIN

Okay! So, when recently Monique and her husband  talked about why she was upset with the 3, she started talking about how Oprah bought her family on her show a while back, and how she didn’t approve of it. While that may be the first thing that made her feel some kinda way about Oprah that’s not enough to go off. Monique was angry because Lee didn’t or couldn’t go back and re-negotiate that funky ass $50,000 she signed to when Tyler and Oprah came on board. and I’ll be mad too dammit. I’m mad and its not my MONEY OR BUSINESS!!! Lee funky ass should have made that  right with Monique.  Just because he was her friend!!! So what, it wasn’t going to be easy, so what, the studio wouldn’t give her more money. BUT HE SHOULD HAVE SAID LOOK FRIEND….. this movie is going to do numbers now since we have the backing of Tyler Perry and Oprah, I’m going in my pocket to make this FAIR with you. Did he have too.. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! NOPE AGAIN.. But Lee KNEW, why Monique wasn’t promoting the movie. He knew WHY she felt some kinda way. He knew that shit. And I know he talked about it TO SOMEBODY!!!

This is what he said that MESSED UP everything! Lee gets his ASS, on the phone and tells her shes been blackballed. Okay that’s one thing to feel that way, and to say it over the phone or in person ! But its another thing to get ON TV and make it come to LIFE. He made his statement real with ANYONE wanting or waiting to work with her. He bought that MESS to life when he mentioned it on TV, just to take the FOCUS OFF HIS ASS, for not saying what HE KNEW she was feeling about the  $50,000. He knew why she was PISSED.  But you see, in those interviews he didn’t mention the money, he didn’t because SHE DIDN’T! He opens his mouth and says…. she didn’t play the game. What is that suppose to mean? But the biggest reason why he was PISSED.. is because she didn’t mention his name when she won the Oscar. Oh, he was LIVID! All while he was mad, he tried to bring the STUDIO LIONSGATE into it by saying, you’re suppose to mention them. SHUT YO ASS UP LEE, you were mad because by saying YOUR name, your name would be heard and known. BECAUSE LIONSGATE IS LIONSGATE ANYWAY… BUT YO ASS AINT LEE DANIELS, IF YOU’RE NOT MENTIONED! Lets be clear!!! Especially when NO ONE knew yo ass.

What pissed me off about Lee was, after the OSCARS , he wanted to talk about her retaliation and her not cooperating. But that negro didn’t tell you NOT ONE TIME about that $50,000, and that he participated for the movie to go straight to DVD. And see people didn’t know the back story THEN, because Monique didn’t allow the dots to connect with us at that time. I saw all the interviews, but I still couldn’t understand for the life of me, why wasn’t she “Acting right” by promoting the movie.   I wondered why is she acting “childish” saying she’s busy and all this other subliminal stuff. And by NOT telling the WHOLE STORY,  she left the door open to work with Lee again, but this time she knew her worth!

So, EMPIRE came up.

Lee wanted to work with Monique again. He also wanted to make that PUNK ASS $50,000 RIGHT!!! I dont know if he wrote those emails or had them sent TO HER  for “show,” to say, I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU, knowing full well, by him mentioning those black balled statements  on TV that EMPIRE FOX didn’t want to have anything to do with her. And if Lee did go to FOX and say I want Monique for this role, did THEY SAY… NAW WE AINT MESSING WITH HER and went with Taraji?  Either way it WENT he has a way of clearing that flaming ass of his.

There is a LESSON to be learned in all of this. For one I know Tyler Perry and Oprah get it! KNOWING that your name carries WEIGHT. Make sure that before you put your name on ANYTHING,   that everyone is paid their due.!!!!!!! FLAT OUT!! Nothing wrong with supporting a movie, just know your name carries weight, because if an actor sign on to make $6.00 for a movie, and then here YALL  2 powerhouses COME that causes the value of the movie to go up, THEN make sure those people are getting paid well  before you attach your name. LETS ALL MAKE MONEY. If the studio cant agree to go back and renegotiate contracts.. OH WELL… then dont put your name to it. Because the actors will get cut out of the extra money.  So to avoid that, when the movie comes out, just say how much you loved it. Just make sure those people  are paid their worth. Oh they can’t because that’s NOT HOW IT GOES!!

I felt that Monique shouldn’t have said the d@@@ part in her stand up. I think that went too far, and I think she held her anger in too long about how she was feeling…. which of course would cause her to react that way.

I believe that she MAY have felt that Tyler and Oprah KNEW how much she got paid for her role, and because they loved the movie SO MUCH they decided to PROMOTE it ANYWAY.  Feeling that it may win an OSCAR. Even though they felt she was UNDERPAID. They went to her AT DIFFERENT TIMES and “TRIED TO MAKE IT RIGHT” by saying.. LOOK if you promote the movie, go to the premiere, and do the interviews, and EVERYTHING LIONSGATE ASK OF YOU ((( with that same ass  $50,000 you got paid, because they DON’T hand out allowances for that)))  IN THE END MONIQUE…. it will pay off. You will get calls and roles you’ve never dreamed of. They will pay you your worth and you’ll make more money than you ever had. But it didn’t work out that way… LEE DANIELS had already MESSED THAT UP, when he went on TV shows running his mouth! By putting the black balled story out there for not promoting the movie , and for being difficult to work with .. and Imma say this again… I CAN SPEND $50,000 IN 2 HOURS… THAT AINT NOTHING!

Tyler introduced it to HIS audience on Oct 5, 2009 to HIS fans, the movie premiered in US on November 6, 2009. 1.5 million DVDs sold in its first week of release. The movie was made for 10 million dollars, it made $63.6 MILLION DOLLARS…. and Monique received $50.000!!!




Oprah’s …The Life You Want Weekend”…. I won’t be there From the Desk of Cree

only me


I’m so disappointed!

I read that Oprah was coming to the Detroit area with guess, to speak at The Palace of Auburn Hills Friday Sep 12 and 13th. I didn’t know all the details of Oprah’s “The Life You Want Weekend”  but I WAS READY!!!

I went on line and BOOKED my hotel! I’ve stayed at this hotel at least a dozen times when I go to a Piston game and don’t feel like driving home. I knew that I had to book this hotel RIGHT AWAY before tickets went on sale. I booked for Thursday-Saturday. I was so excited and happy. I didn’t care who was going with me, if I had to go alone… that was fine with me.

Later on that day, I checked my email and put in the password to purchase tickets early before they went on sale to the general public. What happened next…. I THOUGHT MY FAMILY WAS GOING TO FIND ME DEAD IN MY APARTMENT FROM SHOCK!

Once to the ticket page, you can roll over your mouse to see the TICKET PRICES. And not only that… you get to see WHERE YOU’LL BE SITTING FOR THE PRICE . Now, I’m thinking okay, this is a 2 day event. tickets should be no more than $100.00. I paid $238.00 to see Maxwell, Jill Scott, Chrisette Michele, Robin Thick and comedian Guy Torey  … AND I’M STILL ON “CONCERT PUNISHMENT” FOR DOING THAT. As I rolled over the mouse, I was so SHOCKED AND SO OUTDONE by what I was seeing concerning TICKET PRICES.

Ticket prices: $99.00 to sit AT THE TIP TOP AT THE ROOF OF THE PALACE $199.00 , $299.00, $599.00 $999.00., as you make your way to the floor. LOOK AT THESE TICKET PRICES!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I sat at my desk and stared at the screen. There is NO WAY in the world… would I pay $199.00 to sit at THE TOP OF THE PALACE/ARENA TO SEE A N Y B O D Y!!! Even if I had $1000.00 I wouldn’t pay that to be in YOUR FACE!!!I’m still trying to figure out, what team of people would agree that these prices are ACCEPTABLE? Why aren’t tickets GENERAL ADMISSION… FIRST COME FIRST SERVED. No one can EVER explain to me why these tickets are so high. I guess this will turn in a conversation of “WHERE ARE YOU SITTING”? I am so pissed off about the thought process that went into this planning.
if you have money, or COME UP with the money to pay $1000.00 and $599.00 you receive a gift pack along with other goodies and A PHOTO. I’m guessing the money is in the photo and the “in your face” experience. But the people like me…. who really WANT to hear this word, HAVE TO SIT AT THE TOP OF THE PALACE with the heat, dust and screens everywhere to get the same experience as the others. Sorta reminds me of the MENTALITY OF FLYING FIRST CLASS: You pay more, get to sit in larger seats, get all of these extra AMENITIES, BUT IF THE PLANE GO DOWN. THEY ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GO DOWN…… am I the only one who figured that out? *blank stare* *


I can hear some people saying right now.. ((((((wow))))))… .well if you want to “LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT” then you would do what you have to do to BE THERE. Or, if you want to ” LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT”… you shouldn’t put a dollar amount on your success. Well guess what? When Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, or TD Jakes come to town, they don’t charge for their conferences. And they sure don’t charge by where you sit to see and hear them. For free conferences like those, that’s when you show your appreciation and you give offerings.

I’m really disappointed in Oprah this time. I was really looking forward to seeing her on this tour, but too bad I can’t afford to pay the high ticket price. I have to cancel my hotel reservation. That’s okay… ILL SEE HER ON JUDGEMENT DAY….FOR FREE


Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

My Sister…..Cree’s Blog Entry

sis latrTonight I was watching Oprah’s “Where are they now” as she recapped the show where her Sister Patricia realized that they were sisters, it just bought me to tears. I had seen the original episode, and also this same “Where are they now” but this one tore me up. It reminds me so much of the story about my Sister. I know I keep writing on this subject, but I had known that she was out there somewhere since I was a young gurl. And to have her on my FB page and to see her post keeps her close to my heart.

When I saw tonight how the niece and Patricia took a blood test to determine if they were family, really made me think closer about doing this when ever my Sister * I believe we are* comes back to Detroit. I cannot stop thinking about this, and tonight I just cried and cried. My grand dad * my dad’s father* was married to her Aunt Lucy…. who I use to spend lots of time together when I was a kid. I loved my Grandma Lucy * passed away a few years ago*…. who was also her FAVORITE AUNT. And all the while my dad knew where she was, and how to contact her, but since it was a big secret in the family that she was his daughter… he didn’t. How all this came about….. one day.. my Sister knocked on my dad’s door and demanded answers. Someone in her family started talking and giving my sister answers. All while growing up she looked different than her other sisters, she knew something was wrong. All it takes is one family member who knows the truth, to spark the fire. I was the first person my dad called when my Sister left his apartment that day, because he knew I would find out, and I was the one he talked about her the most with.

As I was watching Oprah… I watched how happy Patricia was JUST TO KNOW her family members. It didn’t matter that Oprah is/was famous. I’m the oldest of the 4 of us from my mom and dad… but she’s older than me. So I see her as a “Big Sister”..someone I had to be to my siblings. I’m excited about that. I can see true LOVE in her eyes, in her mannerism, the way she looks at Oprah. She is very happy to have a Big Sister. I cried for her happiness. And as for Oprah’s mom, I hope that she can move on with her guilt, because really it doesn’t matter about the past anymore. Its okay that Patricia was given up for an adoption, because everyone is going through a healing process, and all that matters is the fact that….they’re all together now. See that’s the part my dad don’t get. He doesn’t want anyone to ask questions. Well.. I’m sorry dad you have daughters that ask questions. We aren’t mad or angry with you for what happened when you were a teenager. We don’t care, all my sister want is to be accepted. Give her that.

My Sister is now running for a seat in the US Senate. I am so proud of her. As for me…. I just want to kiss her, hug her, look at her, talk to her, listen to all of her stories, and even share some. My dad still haven’t called me * almost 3 months*, and I have no desire to talk to him. I don’t like the way he is handling things with my Sister because of his fears. And since he knows how I feel, in his mind… its easier for him to find something petty to be mad at me about. Growing up when he did it …. it bothered me… now….I’m keeping it moving.

Let me go to bed…..more this week.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Cree’s Ramblings….Cree’s Blog Entry

Soooooo, I’m trying to get in the habit of writing daily. When you live alone you really don’t talk that much. LOL I don’t like talking on the phone, so writing is my new friend.
When I get in my quiet moods, I like to watch house hunters it really soothes and calms me all the way down. The part that bothers me is that the women always debate the men when it comes to them having a “man cave” or a room where they can go and “do them”. I’m a woman and when I’m married, I want my own room where I can read, think, watch my favorite shows too. I see so many women on this show who really don’t want their men to have their own special room. Why is that? Are they afraid that they may go to their men cave and never come out? LOL Today this man wanted a pool table room, he had to remind her about 5 times on the 30 minute program… then she said “I guess you can have a room”. *rolls my eyes at her*
Men love to shop and have nice clothes, but the women make a big deal over that too. They want the man to have the smallest closet. I know we have our boots, shoes, coats and all these purses and everything, but really women need to stop being so funny acting when it comes to men having space for their favorite things when buying a new house. Then when they divorce, she has to find a smaller place anyway. WOW WOMEN REALLY?
Guess what? I’ve been doing soooooo good when it comes to my ANGER. If you haven’t read my blog entries on ANGER. I was watching Iyanla Fix My Life and realized that my anger stems from several things. Bullying, watching people be mean to others, people talking to others all kinds of ways, mostly social issues. I felt that my dad was a bully to me, because I was different, and saw a lot of his manipulating ways early on. As I got older, I’ve always felt like a “misfit” .Even though I had a lot of friends, I didn’t always run with them. I’m the kind of person that would talk to you everyday, and not share with you the fact that I’m planning a women’s gathering, you would get the invite the same day as the others. Leaving you asking me…… why didn’t you tell me about it, I just talked with you this morning? I’m such a behind the scenes person who keep stuff to myself. This has always made me different the way I do things and set myself apart.
But anyway, getting back….As I was watching the first scenes of Lee Daniels The Butler… I felt anger coming on, my legs get to jumping, and while I’m in the middle of the anger, I ask myself what part of the anger is bothering me. And in soooooo many of my anger moments, its always because someone is mistreating someone, or intimidating them in some kinda way. I DO NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! The thing that’s helping me is when I allow God to ask me in the middle of my outbreak… ” WHAT ARE YOU FEELING”? After I answer the question, immediately I feel better, because I have identified with my problem/issue. Hopefully someday I can help others to get over their issue of ANGER… Wow for that to happen… I would be in a GREAT PLACE. YESSS!!!!
I have a friend who has been sharing some things with me, and when they shared them with me, I wasn’t getting it. There are so many things they said… that I get now. Like I really get it. We have a strange friendship but it works.
Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Men….Stop that!

shann and daughtersSo, today I’m back on track.

Me and HE, have decided to be friends. He’s so funny and so cool. I love a man who has plenty of conversation. Sexy, handsome, thick, friendly, love helping people, love to laugh and talk. Um. So, with that said….. no phone calls to him, only talks in person when he’s here. I’m good with it. I learned the less you talk to a man and just listen, he loves that. I just hate that when men see me as a listener, that they think my mentality is weak. But then as soon as they get to know me… they say I want all the POWER, control, want everyone to see things my way, STRONG MINDED, bossy, when I make up my mind on something… ITS A DONE DEAL.  So men stop thinking just because a woman listens to you that she is SUBMISSIVE AND WEAK. Stop that. Because when she shows you her other side, you will look at her differently….good or bad. I’m a sweet person, I HATE DRAMA AND GOSSIP… but I love to laugh, talk, take rides, city trips, go near water and just chill. In the meantime…. my book is calling.

I was reading an article that Oprah had about writer’s block. I found it very interesting. I was thinking something was wrong with me. I find that I can really write when someone has made me mad….. that’s strange. It also talks about NOT talking about what you’re writing because after you’ve said it, the desire to write is gone. LOL So true that made me laugh. I like to talk out loud when I’m alone, and after all my frustrations are out, I can’t write a thing on it. Wow.. funny.

*My sister and nieces toes*

Just when I thought I had FORGIVEN Everyone…. Cree’s Blog Entry *OprahLifeClass*

SO, I was watching Oprah’s Life Class 4/16/2012 on my computer and TV at the same time on Monday *so that I wouldn’t miss the behind the scenes segments during commercials*. The topic mainly were about Forgiveness.

As I was watching TD Jakes speak, I was going through my mind and came to the conclusion that I had forgiven everyone. But the more he spoke, I KEPT feeling a tug in my heart. And after about 4 good tugs, I asked God have I forgiven everyone? Why am I feeling some kinda way? He said No. My eyes bucked…..cause I was kinda shock, but I kept on thinking well WHO COULD IT BE LORD? Then I thought about this one person who I know for a fact that I AM STILL ANGRY with to this day.

Now, I’m the kind of person who has LOVE for everyone, once you cross me….. I will speak to you and even chat with you if I see you somewhere on the streets. But you will NEVER be apart of my space… which I keep PEACEFUL AND DRAMA FREE.

Once God told me that it was someone I hadn’t forgiven… I had to go deep into my heart and remember who this person was. It was LAMAR. *SIGH* of the thought of even bringing this up. But I want others to see that no matter how you LOVE , there could still be “holes” in your heart where you may not have forgiven someone. I’m known for burying things in my heart and never bringing them to surface again… but God has a way bringing issues back to ME.. and in the process helping me to deal/cope with them. And for that I LOVE him.

I met Lamar through his mom, who worked with me for years at an elementary school at the time. I told her about a vacancy across from me and they both moved in. He was then in his 30’s and I was in my late 20’s. He was my first gay friend and he was not only SO FUNNY, he had the prettiest and whitest teeth ever on a man. Back then I was partying 2-3 times a week * from 5 times a week* and as winter came in, we would take turns playing cards, drinking and talking junk in each other apartments. When Lamar drank….man he was no one you wanted to be around. He use to cry, curse you out, talk crazy junk,wouldn’t go home, bring up stuff from the past…. He was a handful, and as always the next day he would knock on my door saying this *Walker, I’m sorry about last night*… and as surely as I was a forgiven person…. I would take back his friendship. * lots of thoughts come to my mind as I remember those days*.

I met MY BEST FRIEND Charlene at a summer job 23 years ago. We hit it off instantly. We would talk on the phone day in and day out. She was going through her thing with her kids dad, and SO WAS I. We had a lot of hard times together as far as the trials that went on with our kids father. We were dead broke at times, had to borrow from each other to stay afloat. I remember in the winter time, we would meet at the corner of our block and walk together to the grocery store to get food. We use to get our hair done by the same person, we were some bus catching sisters. We always DID what we had to do!!! We never waited around for anybody, we put 2 and 2 together and we made it happen.

What I LOVED about my BFF was that she LOVED the LORD….and so did I. We did our thing as far as drank and had lots of friends over in our days of hanging, but we always read our Bibles together and studied over the phone. Before I met her, she told me that she was IN LOVE with this guy she had met, who lived near her when she was about *13 or 14.. she’s 41 now*. They had both felt the same way about each other. Even though they were way to young to talk about Marriage, they KNEW they were meant for each other. As time went on, she found someone and had 2 children, he had got into some trouble, and was sent away for a while. But they always talked over the phone and wrote letters to each other. All of her out coming and in coming mail to him read like this: Mrs. Charlene Hayes. She would read some of his letters to me over the phone,  I was so happy that she was happy.

I remember she would tell me that the older she got the less she wanted to give him all these kids he wanted. He wanted a boy really bad, and she wanted a girl. She already had 2 boys the youngest being 9, and so they AGREED TO HAVE ONE CHILD…. it could be a boy for him or a gurl for her. WE would talk about this all the time like giggly gurls. I couldn’t wait to meet him…. this guy my Best Friend LOVED dearly and wanted to marry and share the rest of her life with. She would always PRAY and tell God exactly what she wanted in her marriage , how it would be done, where they would live, how they would live and IT HAPPENED JUST AS SHE HAD PRAYED AND ASKED GOD. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

As time went on I introduced Lamar to my Best Friend Charlene, who lived directly around the corner from us. Lamar started going around to her house hanging out a lot. I wasn’t jealous or mad about their friendship at all, because I knew who was #1… ME!!! LOL My life style was different than Char’s. I loved to go out and be  the  life of the party in the spotlight, she never not once went out. She was a homebody family gurl , who loved to cook, entertain, and drink her beer. So, it was cool that Lamar and Char met, for some reason I thought it was a good idea that way….. I could be around my friends who loved to do the things I did.

One day me and Char was talking about how her Mom and my Dad were so much alike, and how our lives were growing up. She shared this with Lamar another time, and then he bought it up to me when we were alone. I was shocked that he knew so much, but then again, they had gotten close so it made sense. Well, HE WENT back and told her about the conversation me and HIM had, and added that I was talking negative about her mother. I WAS SO MAD AND SO ANGRY THAT HE LIED ON ME, that me and her got into a heated argument and decided NOT to be friends anymore. Oh, I HATED him for lying on me. I HATED HIM IN MY SOUL DEEP DOWN….. I HATED HIM WITH MY MIND. I HATED HIM DEARLY because…. HE LIED ON ME….and I felt she believed him.

I remember being so ANGRY and UPSET about how he lied on me, just so that he can make sure that I was out of the picture and he stayed… that God began to talk to me, because he knew I was so upset. He said to me and I will NEVER EVER, NEVER EVER forget. He said La’Crease Let it go. He said when you and Charlene come back together, you and her are going to be SO CLOSE, that no one will EVER break you and her apart again. He said TRUST ME. I have to fan myself thinking back on the day he told me this. Every time I wanted to talk to my friend Char and couldn’t get up the nerve to call her, I thought about what God told me….. and it made me feel better. I believed him, and his words comforted me……all 6 years we didn’t speak.

When I found out that he was home, working, and were already planning to buy their first home together. I was VERY UPSET in my mind because I wanted to meet this guy who my BFF raved about. I wanted to build my own friendship with him because I had known so much about him through her. I wanted to share in her joy. I wanted to be there for her Mentality and Spiritually. But since Lamar LIED on me, that wasn’t going to happen. I was stubborn and she was too.

She flew her wedding party to VEGAS and got MARRIED. OH MY GAWD…. I thought I was going to DIE when I heard that news. I was so ANGRY. HOW could all this happen without ME? This is something we talked about for years and years. Way before Lamar was in the picture, and way before he came home. Then…….. my BFF got pregnant and GOD BLESSED THEM WITH A SET OF TWINS…. A BOY FOR HIM AND A GURL FOR HER!!!!! It happened just as she asked God. Their son is named after her HUSBAND… and Tyra Charlene, after Tyra Banks. Not once did her and I talk on the phone during these times. I was suppose to be her Maid of Honor at her Wedding, and also her KIDS GOD MOTHER. OMG thinking about it, JUST DOES SOMETHING TO ME. I’m still ANGRY about it. I thought once I DISSED LAMAR FOR GOOD for what he did… that I would be okay with how I felt about him.

I moved out of the apartment building after 4 years…. and never looked back. I had lost my BFF and with God there is no telling when me and her were going to speak again. I had to TRUST and BELIEVE his word to me about our FRIENDSHIP being CLOSER THAN EVER, and just waiting on that time to come was the hardest part.

At this time in my life, I had started going to Church every Sunday for a whole year I didn’t miss NOT ONE SUNDAY. I was so close to God, seems like we were joined at the hip. I stop partying, and drinking and going out unless it was a special occasion. I had went through some SERIOUS things in my relationship with a boyfriend that turned me completely to God. I missed my BFF and I was at a place of PEACE in my life, so I picked up the phone and called her. She was so happy to hear from me. We had so many things to talk about and catch up on. I was happy. And even though we were talking again….. things were different. 😦

I had to get to know her all over again. She was married….. a DIFFERENT PERSON NOW….. had 2 children that I had never met. I was suppose to be their God Mother. How could 2 people be so close at one time, and not know one thing about them years later? That alone DEVASTATED ME. So, I kinda drifted apart, getting my own house in order. I was about to get engaged at one point, things didn’t work out, she knew none of that. We talked a few times a week, nothing too serious.. Lamar was still her friend, but they weren’t as close as they were before she got married.

After moving into my first house ( no apartment).. things were going good for me. I cleaned HOUSE SHO NUFF on my friendships, I wasn’t turning back. I desired to keep in touch with Charlene again on the regular. So what….. I had to get to know her all over again, I knew what God told me and wanted my friend back. We started talking everyday. I went to meet her husband and twins for the first time. I was happy. He was happy to meet me because he had heard so much about me, and he’s a Virgo just like me. LOL Char calls him La’Crease Walker, and calls me by his name….because she says we are so much alike we make her sick!! LOL * in a good way*. She says if she hadn’t known me.. she would never had ever gotten along with him because she just couldn’t understand the way we think. LOL

TODAY we are SO CLOSE…. SO CLOSE. SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO CLOSE THAT GOD DIDNT TELL ME ALL OF THIS. He didn’t tell me it was going to be THIS WAY. I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND!!! LOL We are so Spiritually Connected its crazy. God can give me a word about moving to Atlanta…. she will text me and say this…. my husband wants me to move South… but I don’t want to leave my mother. THAT WAS MY ISSUE. And I would CALL HER and we would crack up how God has us on the same page ALL THE TIME. Every morning she text me a Scripture or something God gave her, and it will line up with something HE ALREADY TOLD ME the day before. We are so CLOSE and I Thank God for her, she is SO WISE AND SO SMART, AND SO FULL OF COMPASSION….YOU CAN TELL GOD LOVES HER DEARLY.

One morning, I had this dream about Lamar. I was NOT his friend at all, but it made me call Char and tell her about it. It was weird. She told me that she was done with him and that the dream was whatever. So, soon after that I had another dream about him…. and I called her and told her about it again. She told me that the last time she spoke with him was last year when he wanted to take her to see Janet Jackson, but she was so over him and his drama, she told him No…. Thanks, and to Be Blessed. She got a new number and never spoke to him again. Those were her last words to him. About 3 weeks ago, God woke her up and lead her to this web site where you can find someone. He had been on her mind a lot lately, since they lost comtact. She had never been to this site before or even knew it existed. She typed in Lamar’s name and found out that he had been dead since LAST JULY. She called ME DEVASTATED.

I knew it was a reason why I kept dreaming about him. I didn’t like to talk about him… at all PERIOD..but I did TELL HER… plus I wondered what happened to him. He has no family members here in Detroit, but Char found his mother’s phone number and called her. It was really sad how he died. My friend was really sad about it… and if it was my friendship with him.. I would be sad too. I feel bad tho about how numb I feel about him. I was so angry with him back then , that I have no reaction. Of course its terrible, and I feel bad about him dying, but through the years I learned to NUMB myself about anything concerning him. So when she calls me and want to talk about him, my insides flips. I love my BFF and he was both our friend at one time, but this is one of those things where I have to deal with my OWN ISSUES CONCERNING HIM. We had a lot of fun together, and even though he LIED on me, and I was able to move on by burying the thought of him in my mind. I’m faced to deal with the FORGIVENESS of someone who isn’t even here anymore. Hadn’t I saw Oprah’s Life Class, I would have never REALIZED that I was carrying this years too long.

I missed MY BEST FRIENDS WEDDING * they celebrated 15 years last month*, I missed the BIRTH OF MY GOD CHILDREN TYRA AND TONY * they are 13 now*….. I missed her BABY SHOWER…. HER PREGNANCY, the move in of their new HOME….all while HE *Lamar* WAS THERE …… I MISSED A LOT and I don’t know how to *grieve* with her. I don’t know how to pretend this is a topic I want to hear. I don’t know how to respond because I don’t want to hear about. BUT… God is so good, and he is always with me….. I have learned to LISTEN…..and the more I LISTEN to her talk about her friend…. I find things that I did loved about Lamar. And since I’m not a FAKE PERSON….. I can be real and LISTEN to her at the same time.

Watching Oprah’s Life Class last week, made God nudge me and let me know that I hadn’t FORGIVEN someone….. and that person is LAMAR. Even still to this day….. I chose to ignore everything about him. I should feel sad….but I feel numb. All of my FRIENDS know Lamar….. but I haven’t told  ONE PERSON … about his death. Because I chose to ignore everything about him. I know I am wrong. But I just don’t want to talk about him.

I’m happy that me and my BFF are BETTER BEST FRIENDS THAN GOD COULD HAVE EVER TOLD ME….. but still in my heart….. I miss Lamar too. Maybe its time I take a moment each day and think about the good times I had with him * WE had a LOT*…. instead of choosing to ignore he ever existed.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy


I was watching Oprah’s Life Class tonight and I’ll tell you. Iyanla is the best thing since Gayle. I am so happy that things went the way they did back when Iyanla left. Because it makes their friendship that much stronger. I KNEW HER OWN SHOW WAS COMING….. I KNEW IT 🙂 I KNEW IT…. I KNEW IT… From the day that interview ended when she was on Oprah’s Show talking about what happened between them. Iyanla just wasn’t ready back then, and even through Oprah was grooming her, she still didn’t get it. Like Oprah said… I was giving you my podium, my stage…how could you not know I was setting you up for success? That was a Aha Moment for me. But the time is now…… Oprah has had her on Life Class last year, and this year as well….and I’m so happy that she will have her own show, and I will be FRONT AND CENTER. She’s going to do very well. See how things happen? And the chemistry of their friendship between them is wonderful. Oprah was talking so much about God when it first came on, she has really opened up, and I know who God sent to help on that. And I’m happy about it. I wonder if Gayle gets jealous? LOL She probably calls Oprah as soon as she get in the house after taping LIFE CLASS, and want to know everything her and Iyanla talked about. Hahaha. Let me stop I’m the only one whose jealous like that.

Today was a good day at work…. again so much Love from my co-workers, they really missed me those 11 days I was on vacation. Lately, I’ve been practicing going back to the way I use to be when it comes to my Communication. I’m not asking anyone any questions, I’m not answering any. There use to be a time when I was so secretive that if you wanted to know something about me, you would have to sneak in my room and get my journal/diary to find out anything. Now since I’ve gotten older , I like to ask so many questions. Remember I was a kid who get all low grades in school, because I was afraid to ask questions. I had to drop out of High School, and complete a GED. I’ve come a long way…and went to dang ole far. …. LOL

Yesterday me and some coworkers got together for our monthly outing, and somehow I always end up being the person who calls everybody and “REMIND” their grown a####, that we’re hooking up. I didn’t lift a finger yesterday. When I got to work at 9 am this morning….. 1000 people asking me * like its my function* why you didn’t call me? And I said……. yall grown butts knew. I’m not calling people NO MORE communicating anything, if you really wanted to go.. YOU’D BE THERE!!! Last year I was appointed to help get our family reunion together because I like to plan and I plan well. I did the family dinner at Apple bees, then at my sisters house, then a park. This year, they’re like……Zee, are you doing the family reunion for 2012? Nope….. not this year.. I’m getting ready to move and its all about me. They have watched and saw how I did it, its time for somebody else to step up.If I don’t do it…… it won’t get done….and that’s fine with me. Its a whole lot of us and everybody PULLED THEIR WEIGHT AND MORE….. but again its about Communication. Nobody wants to do it. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m doing my own thang staying in my own lane……just like I use to be. I’m not mad at anyone, I’m just really taking a look around my life and seeing that I HAVE MADE EVERYBODY COMFORTABLE…. My Sister came over yesterday and she said “I MISSED US * THE 3 OF US SISTERS* GOING OUT TO DINNER…. TALKING, LAUGHING… I said well … plan something! Lets go to dinner this weekend. She said okay….. but watch….. she expects me to call her and my other sister and remind them. They expect for me to COME UP WITH A RESTAURANT….. WHAT TIME…. WHO PICKING UP WHO…. WHO ALL ELSE WANT TO GO….#GURLBYE… LOL I’M NOT DOING THAT…. I’M NOT!!! LOL * I LOVE THEM* Yes, I want to go, and I plan to go. Its that I’m the oldest and everybody expect for me to be on top of everything….. maybe I do put myself out there that way. I love to plan, I love to gather, I love to travel… I am the oldest.. but I’m tired now…. I’m thinking about MYSELF.

When Tyler Perry tickets went on sale for “Madea Gets Job”… my Sister came over 3 years later * sarcastic* and said we got to get tickets to see Madea….. I didn’t open my mouth…… * blank stare*. Finally I said GUUUUURL… those tickets went on sale 2 weeks ago. I have my ticket for 2 NIGHTS. She said dang……… why you didn’t tell me? I said gurl   you know I don’t wait 10 weeks to buy his tickets and you know how fast seats sell. I said I’m tired of waiting for 50 people to get their money ready. She was mad….hehe but she’ll be alright. I have a Credit Card ON DECK… for my concerts, plays, my trips, my hotel and my rental cars…. I DON’T PLAY THAT!!! When I told her that I was sitting in the Orchestra Pit both days, she almost passed out. LOL LOL #Gurlbye… see people be playing and I feel I allowed the buffoonery to be apart of my life, when I do things off script of who I am.

I remember one time Tyler Perry came to town for Madea’s Family Reunion.. I collected the money as always….. after collecting money for 13-17 people and 2000 days later * not a really 2000*…. TICKETS WENT ON SALE…. WE sat in row RRR…. I SAID NEVA AGAIN!!!! If you have your money ready the day of, WE CAN ROLL….if you have your money any time after that….. its a WRAP …. I’m out with or without you!!! I’m not sitting in ROW ZZZZZZZ123456789 NEAR THE CEILING….#GURLYOUGOTMEMESSEDUP. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

When Mary J came to the Fox I sat 3rd row ORCHESTRA PIT.. when Gerald Levert came I sat ORCHESTRA PIT FIRST ROW…. When MAXWELL came TO DETROIT….I sat 4th row FROM THE STAGE… when Anita Baker came to Detroit 7 YEARS STRAIGHT….. I SAT 1ST ROW.. ORCHESTRA PIT …AND 3RD ROW from the stage. I got tired of missing out on what’s good for ME… waiting and phone calling everybody….trying to be nice and include others. Those days are over.

When we went to see Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds…. we went 22 deep. I told everybody get your ticket early… they LEARNED… LOL But when For Colored Girls Came out IN 2010, I gathered my gurls up and it was 32 of us all together. I told them get YOUR TICKETS EARLY… CAUSE TYLER PERRY SELLS OUT…. the people outside of the 32 were calling me from the movie before it started….. Cree, do you have any extra tickets…. they SOLD OUT? I said Nope.. the extra ones I bought, people bought from me. Waiting until the last minute when it comes to SOMETHING CREE put together…..will get you missed out. So about 6 of my people outside of the 32 had to go to another movie house, but most waited for the next showing.

Watching Oprah and Iyanla tonight…. triggered these thoughts. Hmmmm :0

I needed this 🙂

I’m staying in MY OWN LANE…


Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Bullies…..Cree’s Blog Entry

Hey Fam!!!

Thank you Lord for all the Lessons I’ve learned from the Oprah’s Life Class from OWN and the LIVE WEBCAST. I have learned so much about myself, and about others that I couldn’t even write it down right away I had to let it sink in my mind, and had to think about it over and over. I really LOVED and appreciated the time she made for us to “to get it” and that’s what I did. I got it!!!

Anger~ In middle school…I use to hang with bullies so that I wouldn’t be bullied. But truth was, I was being bullied from people that I grew up with at home. I hated it too. But now I ask myself…well why did you hang with them? A part of me found some things they said to others were funny, and I love to laugh. But as I got older I realize that I laughed on account of someone being bullied and hurt.

Today, in my life I CANT STAND BULLIES!!!! I will mentally ( in such a nice way) tear away at someone who commits this act in from of me. I found out by watching Oprah’s Life Classes that this is were 95% of my anger comes from WHEN I do get it. When I see people knocking over the next person to be first in line, that’s a bully. That bothers me because it tells me that its ALL ABOUT YOU. Selfish acts bothers me. I know this gurl who is always asking someone to buy her something, but when she’s in position to buy and help out someone, she can’t do it. That’s a bully to me. This is how she lives her life. I see this a lot, and it really bothers me. But now since I realized where my anger was coming from, I have the power to control it. It was hard for me because I wouldn’t understand why I was feeling that way. I use to be a bully in my own way,

I hung out with them to keep from being bullied, then I saw that I was being bullied from the people that was outside of my school.

Its funny now how the table has turned. No matter what I do, or where I go, I am a pretty popular person. I come in contact with a lot of people. And I will NOT TOLLERATE any bullying at all!!! I understand that I have a lot of influence over people, I see a lot, I hear a lot and this is probably the reason why I HATE GOSSIP. I stand up for the underdog. I fight ( not physically) for them all the time. I’m so glad that I have a voice, and is known for telling the truth and taking up for others. I don’t stand around and watch someone go Hungary, being talked about, being bullied. I have learned too, that a lot of times I have to fall back, and that’s okay. But I’m glad that I had that experience growing up, so now I understand getting bullied, and taking up for the person being bullied. To me bullying is as simple as someone who CUTS in front of 8 people saying……… I HAVE TO GO, AND I DONT HAVE TIME TO STAND IN THESE LONG LINES, TAKE MY ORDER SO THAT I CAN GO!!! I will get FIRED and walk out before my HANDS take that customer. I will never tolerate that kind of behavior.

I’m really happy that by watching that show on Anger it has showed me an area of my life that I never understood. Now, I have a grip on these kinds of issues, when they are presented I know how to handle them without getting upset.

Dream, Oprah and sleep

Last night before I went to bed, I said Lord let me have some good dreams all week. I dreamt last night that this guy came up to my job, looking nice all of a sudden  he picked me up and I felt so good so sexy. I didn’t even know this dude, but it felt so good. I wonder what made him do that in my dream? What was it about me that made him feel that it was alright? LOL
 I love a man that wears Cologne. I wear Sparkling White Diamonds, Red Door,  212 by Carolina Herrera, Unforgivable Woman by Sean John, Palsma Picasso, Lollipop Bling by Mariah, and my favorite Celine Dion. I have so many perfumes…. they make me happy. Those are my favorites tho.
Ok my mind is wondering. I don’t like to celebrity blog, but I have to on this subject. Oprah Winfrey has the best behind the scenes crew that anyone could have. I sat up and watched 4 behind the scenes shows in a row and was MADD because there wasn’t anymore available to watch at that time. LOL Her team carry the same spirit as she does. They LOVE her, and I see their desire to please her, which tells me that she is very GOOD to them, because they don’t want to let her down. I just love their work relationship they have with her, and she goes on air and make their behind the scenes job seem soooooooo easy.She asks her guest the right questions, makes me wanna leap in the TV and kiss on her the lips. Because I like to ask questions and it seems as if we have the same ones on my mind. LOL Oprah is so real, and so down to earth that you can sit up and have a conversation with her and forget she is the richest woman in the world. She is very transparent and sooo giving!!! She enjoys the excitement and the appreciation of her guest when she blesses them with gifts. That’s her pay off. And I just love her for that. Her behind the scene shows are just as good as the regular ones. LOL
Then I got to thinking….. I have always been a Leader, but I also enjoy working behind the scenes. I’m not the kinda person who has to be seen or heard,  I’m the kinda person who like to “make things happen”. I enjoy the part in the show where they had to call up the guest publicist and talk to them about coming on the show, making arrangements and taking care of the guest as they arrive. I’m good with people so getting them on the show would be a challenge to me ( in a good way). I would love that. Her crew wasn’t divas, or had to be made up all the time, they had one thing in mind, and that was to please Oprah and to make things happen. I love that. They all were getting along, and helping each other out whenever it was their time to produce a show. That’s the kinda job that would make me stay all night just to get things done just because I know she would appreciate it. I love how her friend Gayle was with her on several projects. They both are so funny. LOL I hate that she’s leaving the show, but I also know how important it is to move on.
A year ago this time, I was planning to go to Atlanta. I finally set a date as to when I leave Detroit and move to Atlanta. What was I waiting for? Every time I set a date for , it tells me how serious I am about it.  With that said, I’m serious.
Off to bed…. good night!