Open letter to the BRAXTON SISTERS .. STEP MOMMA WANDA/BLOG

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First of all I must say I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE watching The Braxtons. I love Sisterhood, because I have my own 2 Sisters who I just love and adore, along with our only brother. Many times I wish I had more siblings because I enjoy the different opinions coming from each sister.

The reason why I’m writing this  is because of the last episode when The sisters had dinner their dad and his wife. I am SURELY on the outside looking in and I wanted to share some things with the sisters.

I grew up with both my parents in the home, they’ve been married for 50 years this coming July 5. Even though they’re separated and living ALONE in the same senior building in different apartments, they are still best friends. I  say that to say, I know how it feels to live in the home with both parents and to have them love us all.

I feel so bad that Daddy Braxton didn’t make it to Trina’s wedding. I remember when  she talked about that pain. But when it aired that he wanted his wife to come along and that he was tired of not being able to bring her, because of the pain it caused Momma Braxton, I cried. I cried because he wanted to be there, he wanted to so badly. I can only imagine how it feels not to be able to bring my husband to ANY function or event. But this is the part that got me. Daddy Braxton wife Wanda WANTED him to go any way. She knew she wasn’t wanted/invited there, but still unselfishly she told HER husband to go anyway. She could have been like many other STEP MOTHERS who are evil,  that’ll say… if I can’t go,  you cant either. Not only that, when she walked out, he wanted to go with his wife, but she told him once again…. STAY WITH YOUR KIDS, ILL GO. YALL MISSED THAT! SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH..

Daddy Braxton was fed up… and I DONT BLAME HIM. He went to several events without Step Momma Braxton, at some point, he was like wait a minute… I know how my ex wife feels, I know how my daughters feel, its time to move on and accept the fact that I am know longer married to your mom, and that I am remarried. No one wanted to meet him half way. That’s not fair to him at all. PERIOD. Trina, you not once considered your dad’s feeling, because it was all about YOU AND NOT HURTING YOUR MOTHERS FEELING. You NOT had it in your heart to meet YOUR dad half way. You disregarded and disrespected the fact that he is no longer married to your mother, and wanted to bring his wife for HIS comfort, HIS enjoyment of the party, and HIS happiness. It was all about Trina. And I know it was fun blaming Step Momma Wanda along the way for HIM not coming. Yes, he should have explained to you that he was fed up not being able to bring her, but I wondered if you would have gave in and allowed him to bring his wife, knowing how your mom felt about his presence. Hmm.

Somebody has GOT TO STEP UP, and help Momma Braxton to a place of healing. She can no longer go on living her life in silent pain. His very presence makes her uncomfortable. I know it has to bring back memories for her. I get that. I get that she was living this happy life with 6 beautiful kids, and didn’t see divorce coming. But the pain is too evident in her facial expression, her speech, and her body language when he’s around. Help her!!! Its like the Sisters bandage up her pain. She has to deal with her feelings from the past. Anytime you have these GROWN SISTERS who many of them have been divorced with kids, want their dad and their mom to take “family” trips and  the dad can’t invite HIS wife. That is not only CRAZY but its selfish and inconsiderate of HIS feelings. Stop being DISTRESSFUL TO YOUR DADS WIFE PRESENCE!! Stop making this man pay for his divorce from your mom. This man should not have to go through this anymore. He’s 70 years old, and let me say this…. I DONT GIVE A DAYUM WHO GETS MAD……yall are too grown to not see how childish and immature this is. Stop making your dad pay for his mistakes. Cause baaaaaaaaby wouldnt you all like to hear from your grown children the mistakes you’ve made with divorce, FAME, TIME , OH YESSSSSS JESUS… YOU ALL WILL HAVE YOUR TURNS WITH YOUR GROWN CHILDREN…. SOON AND VERY SOON. On all the things you THOUGHT you were doing SO RIGHT!!! OHHHH YESSS BRAXTON SISTERS YOUR TURNS ARE COMING. Forgive your dad for everything, your kids are watching.

There is going to come a time, when Daddy Braxton is gone. These sisters are going to have to go to his wife for his personal things they may want. This could be her BEST revenge. No money, fame, TV show, or court can make her give up anything that belongs to HIM/HER from THEIR HOUSE. You didn’t want to have ANYTHING to do with her then,  but you will later.  And you better hope, the sister who has a relationship with Step momma Wanda, shares with you all. UNLESS SELFISHNESS HAS COME TO YOUR HEARTS AND SPOILED WHAT BELONGS TO YOU.  But they’re going to see how beautiful of a person she is. All things will come from her HEART.  Even though she was treated like crap, her heart will be open for these gurls, JUST BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT  HER HUSBAND loved them FIRST-  and she followed suit.

They’re going to want to hear stories of how much he loved his kids. How much he talked about them. How much he loved his grandkids. Oh yes, there will be lots of tears. Tears of how they wish the conversation would have been different at that dinner table. Thinking how selfish Tamar was acting when she tried to geek Trina up about how he made a ‘CONSCIENCE” decision NOT to go to her wedding. How could TRINA AND TAMAR missed the point he was making when he said because he was tired of going to functions without his wife. Nobody wanted to meet him halfway on that part, all they thought about was themselves and their momma. I love me some Trina, but not once did she think about HER DAD AND HIS FEELINGS, it was all about her and her wedding day. She was busy thinking about hers, and her MOTHER feelings, and at some point Daddy Braxton said, WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? YES, I love my daughters, but I will NOT spend another day paying for the divorce WITH THEM, that I had with my EX wife. Free your daddy. PLEASE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE! PLEASE FREE HIM FROM THE PAST AND HELP HIM LIFE THE REST OF HIS DAYS IN PEACE WITH ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE APART OF IT.

Tamar… Tamar, Tamar… Listen boo. I use to get up grab my keys and be OUT at the first sign of a sister debate. OUT. Im the oldest just like Toni. I cant do that anymore. We have to pick up the pieces and see THE BIGGER PICTURE. When she made every speech, I wanted to jump in the TV and kiss her. Let me say this to you….. You have a son now and working on another child. The work you are putting in to make a future for your son is wonderful, Im 50 I get it. You love Logan.. (( with his handsome self)) BUT BABY SISTER BRAXTON….. as hard as you were on your dad, made me CRYYYYYYYYY. There’s going to come a time.. You’re going to explain to Logan how much you love him, and how much time you spent working to make it happen for him, and its going to be all talk for him. He’s going to share with you how he felt in your absence and how he just wanted YOU. Just in the heart of your explaining your love, he’s going to get up and walk out. Just then you are going to flash back to not only your dad, but to all the times you bust up in the middle of debates with your sisters. Just as you need to let your dad off the hook.. OOOOOOOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.. you are going to want Logan to do the same thing for you when you explain the fame you wanted, and how all he wanted was YOU.. Oh yesss sistergurl baby Braxton, your turn awaits you. All I ask is that you have the answers for him.

Please get Momma Braxton some help. I LOVE HER.. She reminds me of my momma SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much. She has got to come to a place where she can talk about it and keep it moving. And please don’t do Stepmomma Wanda like that, yall gon need her… WATCH WHAT I TELL YA.

 

BE BLESSED!

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Change over the years/BLOG

Hey Fam!

Up late cooking my Collard greens for Christmas Dinner tomorrow with my family . Reflecting on this past year, where it has been great for me. Learning about myself and realizing how much influence I have and how 2016 will be GREATER! Watching my daughter work her BUTT off for those less fortunate, feeding the homeless, working long hours, getting a promotion, encouraging and mentoring kids and teens, assisting others with food, resources and lots of love and patience.

I remember a time in my life when I was wild and use to drink and club, talk on the phone all day and night. God dealt with me. I always took pride on paying my bills  AND PAYING OFF the whole balance when it was due. I ran into some hard times when I was in my early 30’s. My lights were cut off, my car broke down, I lost my job, and my gas was turned off… ALL AT ONE TIME.  I needed to hear  from God. After a few weeks  ((which seemed forever)) he finally spoke to me and said. “The person Nesha is to be.. you are getting in the way of it”. ” You are partying, drinking, going out too much, gossiping, having all this sex, talking on the phone, being REVENGEFUL, you need to stop right now!” I was shocked that he was saying all of these things to me, because never in a million years did I think what was happening to me was RELATED TO Nesha/MY BABY.

When I surrendered to God in that moment, it was like the sky opened up and things started happening good for me. I had to change everything about the way I was living. EVERYTHING! I knew it, and for some reason I welcomed it. I stopped talking on the phone.. (( HATE THE PHONE TILL THIS DAY)) I stopped going out, having company over, having sex.. I went back to Church and started reading my Bible daily. I had to cut off people in my life that wasn’t ready to give up what I was doing new. Never knew all of this was going to be connected to my daughters future.

I say all of that to say….. People change over the years. I’m not the same person I was last year, in 2012, in 2011. I have different thoughts and different goals in life. My experiences has changed the way I think. I use to be the Queen of arguing and debates. Today almost 2016.. I don’t go back and forth with NO ONE. I say what I have to say, you say what you have to say…..and after that… its a WRAP! God said to me one day.. LA’CREASE…. in YOUR ADULT LIFE …if you don’t fall out with the SISTERS I GAVE YOU… because you learn the many experiences and personalities of them growing up while living in the same household.. DON’T YOU EVER EVER EVER EVER get into with other women . THEY ARE YOUR MINISTRY!!!!

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When I heard that, it made so much sense to me. If I don’t get into it with THEM… why  fall out with others.. NEVA AGAIN! EVA AGAIN! I’m so happy that I’m a NEW CREATURE… I think differently than I did 3 years ago, learn differently PRACTICING SELF CONTROL IS EVERYTHING :)!!!!!!. Thank you Lord for change… in 2016 I’m going to make you PROUD OF ME 🙂

I am La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE!

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My Raisingurls All Grown Up!/BLOG

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I’m just sitting here thinking “where did the time go?” These gurls are not kids anymore, they are GROWN women!!!!! These gurls were in middle school during the time we had our meets. They came faithfully to our meetings. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these gurls and they love me too. They had several seasons with Raisingurls and I’m so very proud of them. You can look in their faces and tell they are doing WELL!! AMEN!

Here is a photo of Daijah(( TOP)) and Nell ( MY NIECE.. my baby sisters daughter))in one of our meetings, also a photo of them TODAY! ((( tears of joy)) Both of my gurls GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND BEST FRIENDS SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL!! They both have JOBS with no children 🙂

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Learning Valueable Lessons/BLOG

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My Sisters and I was having a conversation the other day about how I use to follow the rules all the time when we were growing up. I always thought twice about what I was doing when it was against the rules. But for some reason it was always in the back of my mind to stop.

As I got older, I realized that I was this same person as a kid . I would tell people not to do something that would make them have to pay the consequences LATER, they always looked at me like…”guuuuuurl it aint that serious.” I remember saying to myself… “why bring extra trouble to yourself?” When I got the reaction that I did, I started asking myself “why do you care if they have to pay the consequences of their actions?” I care because I am a Christian, and I hate to see people suffering when they could have prevented it.I learn through consequences, why not tell others? I’m a person who cares. Oh yes, I could easily watch people do wrong, not open my mouth and watch them pay. That’s easy to do. I’m not that person. But I will say this. I will run it by you once, twice, maybe three times, but I wont be calling you, bugging you, emailing you, texting you or anything like that. As a matter of fact I won’t bring it up again. God gives me visions of the consequences we have to pay when we don’t follow the rules and decide to use the “Free will” button.

There was a time in my life when I was clicking that “free will” button all day EVERYDAY. I remember one consequence I paid heavily just before turning 20. My BFF lisa band I worked together, and when we would get tips we would put them in our tip jar, but when we were low on money instead of ringing up pastries and coffee, we would STEAL and put that money in our tip jar too. We started off doing it a few times a week, then we started getting addicted and depended on that change so we did it all day everyday. Eventually we quit that job we were working, and started other jobs. We were very, very, very, close did everything together, lived across the street from each other, went out together, took trips together, she knew my family and I knew hers. We LOVED each other like Sisters. We were so goofy , laughed all day everyday.

Well one day me and my BFF were running errands. She left her purse in the car to run in someplace (( don’t remember where)), but when she went to the next store she took her purse. As she walked to the car I could see that she was mad about something. When she got in the car, she asked me did I go in her purse and take $20.00? I said NO.. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!! She said well Creasy, it was in here when I left home. I said I didn’t go in your purse, I wouldn’t do that. We argued all the way home. We didn’t talk for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS over that. She felt like how could you do that to me? I was your BFF. There was nothing I could say to convince her that I would never ever do anything like that to her.I was devastated. I prayed and asked God why is this happening?

He said…. when you and Lisa were working together, you both stole money. Even though you have never stolen from anyone, not out of their homes, not out of their purses, you have a history of being a THIEF. There was nothing you could say to convince her that it wasn’t you that took her money. That’s when it started to click in my head. She felt like… if I did it to our job, then I would do it to her. But I didn’t,and I paid for it. After no communication for years and years, when we finally grew up and started talking. She told me that she found out that it was her brother (( he started doing it regularly)) who went in her purse and stole her money, not me… she apologized. I was more happy that she didn’t think it was me, than anything.

Her only child and my God daughter erikaErika, had gotten big and didn’t know me 😦  We were in different places at this time, and no matter how much we talked, we never got that connection we had in the beginning.  😦 I learned a serious lesson in all of that. What we did together spilled out in our own friendship. There was nothing I could have said to convince her that I didn’t steal her money. The consequences of stealing from that company, was how I lost my BFF and the closeness/bond/friendship of my NOW AKA BEAUTIFUL GOD DAUGHTER!! I paid for that dearly. I will never forget this lesson. We are connected on FB and its so good seeing her and Erika. They’re bothlisa ericka Christians who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES THE LORD… and I’m so glad that we can laugh and talk about our past while moving on to our future. We’ll both be 48 this year and I Thank you Lord Jesus for that LESSON TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. AMEN!

I AM La’Crease (( and SHE doesn’t have to do anything else))

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Cree’s Ramblings/BLOG

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Hey Family!!! I have lots to talk about tonight!! Lets jump right into it.

I’m a thinker, and this is one I’ve been thinking about for a while. Years ago when I was a young gurl before the age of 14, my dad always told ME.. that I had a sister out there. She was his step mothers  SISTER. It was a huge secret back in the day because at the time he was young and still at home, and if his dad knew this, he would have kicked him out of the house FOR GOOD. So the gurl had the baby, but it was a secret who the father was until later on in the gurls life when people started to talk.

For me…. I always wanted to meet her. I’m very close with my siblings and to find out that I have a sister out there was like heaven for me. I thought about her all the time. Asking my dad questions he didn’t want to answer sometimes. But one day he got a knock on the door.. and it was HER. Not only did she come for answers, but it was also told to her that her mom was raped by my uncle((( by marriage))) , and that it was a possibility that she was his child. My cousins (( his daughters)) wanted a blood test to know either way, but that never happened and it kinda devastated me.

One day she called and said that she was coming to Detroit to visit her family and that she wanted to meet up with me and my siblings at my dad’s house. We finally had the meet I PRAYED TO GOD FOR. I got to see her face to face, stare at her, hug her and just Thank God for that moment. But when she left, we didn’t communicate much at all, and when my uncle who she felt was her dad.. passed away…. she made it known that she felt HE was her dad. I was good with that part. Because I Thanked God for us meeting. God gave me exactly what I asked for… and that was to meet her face to face. But I expected more. I wanted to have a blood test taken, and if she was my Sister start a relationship with her,  my niece and nephews. I feel that I was “short changed” in a way. She decided not to take the test , and I had to be good with that choice she made. Its funny, how God will give you the desires of your heart, but he never reviled  the outcome. Thing is, he comforted me during those days after the meet. I cant be mad at him for how things turned out, because he gave me what I asked for… A MEET. There will always be a “what if” in the back of my mind  when I see her post on FB. I love her and Thank God all the time that I got a chance to meet her. 🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂

Which brings me to Tyler Perry.. another person who I always wanted to meet since I was introduced to Madea. I love me some Tyler Perry and the work that he brings to life on stage and on the screen. But since meeting my sister and having HIGH EXPECTATIONS… I’m good. Not that I don’t want to meet him, I want him to want to meet ME. I’m just not good with expecting something so great to happen (( a friendship with him and my sister as well)) and it not happen. If its God’s will.. it shall be. Other than that I’m Okay. I’m going to sit back and let God do this… I’m out of it. It feels natural that way 🙂 🙂 🙂

I AM La’Crease (( I don’t have to do anything else))

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GOD Chose MEEEEEEEEEE…. CREEEEE?/BLOG

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Hello Family 🙂

Today I was laying in the bed thinking about how God works in my life. Its so unreal, makes me smile and LAUGH at the same time. When I was 19, I was so in LOVE with my daughter’s father. God told me that I LOVED that man, more than I LOVED him. I was devastated when God said that to me one day as I was washing dishes. Because for some reason, I felt it may have been true… not on purpose… but maybe a fact. I didn’t like that one bit, and I MADE SURE I DIDN’T LOVE ANY MAN like that EVER again. I know how to LOVE.. because I learned it from my parents and growing up with close siblings. So after God revealed that to me, I continued to show men LOVE… because its in me. While they thought I LOVED them so hard (((  but I was just loving how I was taught))).. they ALL were disappointed, sad, and in a state of disbelief when the relationship was over, and I walked away like a car tore up in a accident, with no scratches on my body. That’s one thing about me that I LOVE….. I can walk away and never look back… all while STILL LOVING you at the same time… but in a “out of your life” way.

I LOVE GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING… and just because I show you the LOVE and LOYALTY you may not have experienced from someone else outside of your family… doesn’t  mean LACREASE WALKER won’t walk away like I never knew you…. because I CAN….in a way that will make you ask yourself… “Did she even LOVE me in the first place?” And that answer is…Yes I did/do.

Okay, I got off track. I was so in LOVE with my daughter’s father, that it took me forever to get over him. That was one of the hardest things to do. Back then, there was no social media where you can read up on other stories and then come to the conclusion that this man is not the one for you. We didn’t have access to other women who was going through the same thing to connect with. We had to learn on our own. I was secretive, so a lot of things I went though alone. I didn’t know that SEX was the connection that kept me going back to him. When I cut off sex, I was able to move on. Took me years and years, and years to realize that. But here is the part that got me laughing and talking to God about. He is using MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…. to talk to the broken women who are going through the same thing in this time and day. SO MANY women email me, talk to me in person, send text and other messages about the same thing. At first I was like… “Ok God, why are these ladies coming to me… I had a hard time back in the day trying to get over the LOVE I had for my daughter’s dad?” He said because you are over that, and you are the one who can reach these women. WOW WHAT AN HONOR…. When I think back on those times.. I don’t feel qualified AT ALL!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??????? God are serious? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? CREE?????? I was so broken, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, lost, had an abortion, MEAN AND EVIL… any and everything you can think of.. and GOD SENDS ME TO HELP THESE WOMEN?????????? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

I must say… GOD KNOWS BEST…. because I have spoken with SO, SO, SO , SO, SO many women about relationships, hurt and things associated… that this is truly apart of my calling. I am helping these women to find themselves, and to get back to God. Women are a magnet to me when it comes to this area of their lives…. and I love it. I’ve been there. I know the pain. I know the hurt. I know the thoughts and the cries at night. I know it all. I just want to say THANK YOU LORD FOR CHOOSING ME! I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD AND SEND YOUR DAUGHTERS BACK TO YOU, SO THAT YOU CAN SEND THE MAN DESIGNED JUST FOR THEM!!!

I AM La’Crease ((( I don’t have to do anything else)))

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Women Let’s Come To A Place/BLOG

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((( My friends TC, Kema & MG)))

I’m always thinking about the relationships between women, and how we can communication without being offended all of the time. I use to be a person of constant confusion. Always the one arguing and debating with someone out of the group. When I debated I went hard, non stop, making examples and proving points.

Today 2015, I don’t have time for that.  I will shut down an argument before a person could finish a sentence. Looking back, I didn’t have peace within myself. I was always in my own way, always had to prove someone wrong, always wanted to be right. UGH… so glad God had me to step out of my own picture so that I can see it from a distance. Now, don’t get me wrong… this Virgo can go toe to toe in a nice respectful debate * I raised a Lawyer* it doesn’t have a hold of me anymore. I don’t have to go hours. I can say what I have to say and be quiet. OMG I love that about myself now. Its so fun to be quiet. Ask the question.. and leave it alone. But the point I’m making is… Women have to come to a place where we can say  what we have to say in a respectful tone, and keep it moving. We’re so quick to fly off the handle.

One of my coworkers came into work late last night. As she was talking to a group of people, another coworker asked her a question. Not sure how it was asked, or how it was received, but the ladies got into a heated argument. It was way out of character for them both, so as I as exiting the restroom, the gurl who was asked a question was in there too. I asked her what happened out there? She looked at me with tears in her eyes, she said I lost my grandfather today, and the hard part about it is.. I never seen my grandma go crazy like that. It was so sad seeing her this way, she burst out crying. She said you know I never get into it with anyone, she said I hold a lot in, but this is bothering me because I loved my grandparents and its sad to see my grandma this way. I gave her a hug. Told her this is why you got into it with the other young lady. I said that was not you or her at all. After comforting her, I asked if it was alright if I shared that information with the other gurl so that they can clear things up. She said yes, and as soon as I talked with the other gurl, she went right to her immediately and they talked.

LIFE LESSON: Sometimes we need to communicate whats going on with us. Especially if we’re going to stay in the presence of others. Sometimes its hard to open up to others about personal matters, but its the PEACE TO UNDERSTANDING. All is well with the ladies. Amen!

I AM La’Crease ((( I don’t need to do anything else)))

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