Tag: angry

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The lady who almost lost 40 years of memory * CONTINUED* Crees Blog Entry

angrycustomers*(Continued from yesterday)* Of course I wouldn’t hit an old woman, any one for that matter. But those are the thoughts that instantly came to my mind as she screamed at me while I was in the middle of helping her. I BE DAMNED IF I put up with the Fragrance of HER BITTERNESS,….. she dealt that sorry hand to herself….. I aint about to pay for that……gurlbye. 

But the LESSON in it for me was….. that it reminded me of why I left Walmart of almost 9 years in the first place. It reminded me that I was MENTALITY AND SPIRITUALLY maxed out at this kind of customer service work. In order words… being a cashier is no longer for me. She reminded me of all the lessons I learned about dealing with people like her. I have learned to fall back and to allow people to be who they were before they even entered the store. I realized and learned that its time for me to move on from this, and to move into my calling from God. At that point I realized that if I wanted to be a cashier I could easily go back to Walmart where I knew everything, knew everyone, trained cashiers, health insurance, and 401 to match. And did I mention. that I could make one phone call to the one of the 8 WALMART STORE MANGERS ( in different departments) who are my FB friends at ANY TIME to get my job back ? At that point I asked myself why am I here? This is SURELY not extra money.  LOL Just because I lived directly around the corner, and shop there daily, doesn’t mean that I should be working there, when I have absolutely no desire at all to do this type of work again. NO, NOT EVEN FOR EXTRA MONEY. I rather work with teenagers who I have to tell 11 times PER STUDENT a day to “go to class”, than to put up with GROWN ADULTS who carry the world on their shoulders, and the only way they feel it should fall off them, is on the LAPS of a cashier who didn’t see it coming………AINT GON HAPPEN. Been there DONE THAT. I rather tell a student 40 times to pull up his pants, than to tell an ADULT ONE TIME….. to not put her money on the counter to put it in my hand, as she would want her change. Its always drama with them….. ALWAYS… even with you’re speaking lessons to them, and telling the truth. 

So this morning ( Saturday) I’m going to call him * depends on if this rain stops*… because I really want to talk in person. I want to Thank him for hiring me off the streets and on the spot….. but I must continue the work of the Teens * I never quit my job at the school* and have no desire AT ALL to become a cashier PART TIME any longer. My next destination is to work at a Youth Center… and then MY own. I have to keep it moving…. I can’t go back and revisit “abandon buildings” that once LIVE AND THRIVED in my life. I appreciate all the lessons from working with the public…. but MY job in this area * cashier* IS A WRAP! 

Be Blessed 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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The lady who almost lost 40 years of MEMORY….Cree’s Blog Entry

flat tireSoooo……… yesterday morning as I stood in line to get a money order, I wanted to smile…. but I didn’t because it was taking the manager a long time to come to the customer service line. Even then when he came, he looked at me…… God told me to smile…. I didn’t and I felt bad about it, because of what happened next. I didn’t even want to make eye contact with him once he came because there were people in front of me and it wasn’t my turn yet. But for some reason he kept looking at me. When the turn was MINES, we took care of business, and then he asked me if he could talk to me in his office.
My daughter was waiting on me so that we could both go to work, and when she saw me go into his office… she had to have wondered “what the what” is she doing talking to him? LOL He said to me… I know sometime ago, you came up to me and you said ” One day I want to work in your store… and when the time comes ….you’re going to hire me”. Yea I told him that…. I’m a pretty bold. Then he said… “well I pretty much have a full staff, but I need someone to work on the weekends, and some afternoons.” He said if you’re interested, what day can you come in to train? I was shocked everything was happening so soon. I told him that I could come right after my first job TODAY. He was happy and I was back there at 3 pm and I worked to 6 pm. As he was leaving yesterday he asked me if I could come back on Friday which was today. I did.. I trained for 2 hours.
As I was ringing up this one customer…. I noticed that she wasn’t “wrapped too tight”. She was an older woman… appeared to have been in her day VERY BEAUTIFUL. Had money, a good life, a husband who loved her, educated, with very educated children. A woman who drove nice cars, clothes and shoes to match. But LIFE caught up with her, because she was selfish, mean, stubborn, and thought more of her self than she was. And for many years God held up his umbrella of GRACE AND MERCY for her, knowing one way or another if she would change her ways. Well, it appeared she didn’t… and LIFE caught up with her and rung her neck…… causing everyone who comes in contact with her to “wear” her fragrance of BITTERNESS…..along with herself.
My trainer says to me… she doesn’t need help, she don’t want to do it herself. She said… she comes in here everyday and mistreats me. She said I will ring her up, you can go around and help her but I’m not. The lady was standing there, saying loudly and sarcastic… “I NEED HELP”!!! As I was unloading her things, I asked her “are you okay maam”. I talk to everyone this way, always asking are they okay, just in case they need help, or if I feel that something is wrong that they’re not saying. She was unbelievable. She talked smart to the lady behind her who was trying to help , she was unlike any thing I’ve seen before. She was really holding up the line… after she paid for her things. She was taking so long to move and by then everyone in line was “DONE WITH HER”. LOL LOL They wanted her out of the way. So to move the line faster, I asked her again are you okay? She looked at me and said REAL LOUD…. “I TOLD YOU I WAS OKAY. HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME THAT?” I just looked at her, and I promise the HEAVENS OPENED AND I SAW WHITE LIGHTS…. .I WANTED TO SMACK 40 YEARS OFF HER MEMORY. Put up the DEUCE SIGN TO MY COWORKERS…. POP THE LOCK TO MY VAN, DRIVE HOME SIT ON THE COUCH WITH MY LEGS CROSSED EATING A BOWL OF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM WITH PEANUTS ON TOP. To calm me the heck down.

TOO BE CONTINUED

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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I want to meet my Sister…..*tears* Cree’s Blog Entry

my sisterI want to meet my sister so bad ( in above photo)…. She use to live here and I hate that I wasn’t persistent in meeting her when she was here in Detroit. I go to her FB page all the time… we favor so much. We talk on the phone, but we’ve never met.My dad had her before my mom and dad married. But the way her mom and my dad got together was sneaky as far as how their families  connected… and for years after years it was a secret to her and to us. My dad is so stubborn and wont take a blood test to give her/us CLOSURE. She aint missing nothing * with him*… yeah I said it. But me and my siblings want to meet her, and hug her and LOVE HER.
My dad lives one min from me and we haven’t spoken in almost 2 months. I just don’t get that.

My daughter is so mad at him because he’s so stubborn she told him that she’s not going to answer his calls because of the way he treats his daughters. But I have a sister out there who wants to be around him….. * throws hands in the air* SMH FOR WHAT? I’m so happy that I’m not stubborn. That kinda life keeps you in bondage. I’m so happy that me and my daughter are very close. Praise God…. and I will communicate, do flips and all sorts of things to keep it that way. My dad has always been this way, he use to go months and months without talking to his brother when we were coming up and all living at home. I never paid it any attention…. never knowing that one day it would be me. SMH. It pisses me off sooooo soooooooo so bad that he’s like this. How you not talk to your BROTHER FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS … then when your kids get older, you do them the same way. We all grew up in the same house, don’t you long to hear my voice, my laughter, my smile, my silly ness…. don’t you miss that? Wow… Well let me say this….. my dad has done me/us like this all of our lives, and for once in my life….. I’m so over his behavior. Once so much time has passed…. it doesn’t even bother me. He had issues with his mom. she sold him to his dad in court for $1.00 and I think he hasn’t gotten over that. If I didn’t have God in my life so deep….. I would be some where crying and depressed. He was the very one who taught me, my sisters and brother to be close…. and if NOTHINGGGGGGG else come out of this as God chose him to be my dad…. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. THANK YOU LORD FOR HANDPICKING THEM FOR ME!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Putting away childish things…DONE WITH YOU… Crees’ Blog Entry

CUT YOU OFFHeyyyy Everybody!!! I see the numbers on my blog entries are jumping off the hook! Well, I’m happy someone is reading, I just hope that you get something out of it. A lot of times when someone is having a moment or is going through something, once you read it, you can truly relate. I know I do. This is why I LOVE to read and LOVE to write.

I’ve been doing so, so, so good with my ANGER ISSUES… I guess its not as bad as I thought. When I feel myself getting upset, I’m make sure that I’m conscience of what I’m feeling, my thoughts, and what comes out of my mouth. I’m 46 years old, there comes a time when you put away childish things. I realize that I have the POWER to allow GOD to help me to control the atmosphere. When I open my heart to him, he helps me to come all the way down….. and I like that. I’m sorry I do NOT want to have ANGER stories for the rest of my life. Because if I’m having those issues often…. that’s WHO I AM. #idontthankso

So… my friend who had the fire in his apartment told me what happened. He was waiting on the time to pass so that he could go and visit his daughter for her first week back to school, he lit a cigarette and fell asleep with it in his hand. He woke up with his lap on fire. He suffered burns but was treated and released. He’s no longer living in the building. We had even began to be friends again. We talked on the phone for several nights straight… and if you know me.. I HATE talking on the phone ((( in person I can sit for hours)))… he knows this and expects for me to talk to him every night. I JUST CANT DO THAT…. I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE… and when I skipped a few nights and only text him…. *just as before* he stopped answering my calls. YESSSSSSSSSSSS SEE YA…. GOOD RIDDENS… I cant deal with a MAN who is so needy and has to talk everyday. I’M NOT A NEEDY WOMAN. So I deleted his number tonight.. AND IM DONE WITH HIM.. OUTTA HERE VIRGO SIR.

I had so much to say earlier, but its gotten late, and when I start itching and moving too much….. its BEDTIME LOL Good Night!

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Women in the workplace…..Cree’s Blog Entry

dramafreeSo, today I want to talk to the ladies….. men you can read this too. *smile*.

Why are women so full of gossip and jealousy? Why can’t we just go to work TO WORK… then go home to a PEACEFUL ATMOSPHERE? Because let me say this…. if you come to work as a peaceful person, trust me, your home is too. If you’re the type that’s ALWAYS in the office (((ABOUT ANYTHING))) running behind management, can’t wait for a break just to share gossip that happened… stop that!!! It looks a MESS. And please tell me why do (((some))) women do everything in their power to be SEEN. They have to talk the loudest, walk pass you 1000 times, tell everybody what they just bought, and make it known who THEY LIKE/ likes THEM in the building. The funny part is, the more I sit at the table and turn my attention to my phone, or stare in the air, the more they want me TO HEAR THEM, AND RE DIRECT MY ATTENTION TO THEM. NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

LOL So I say that to say….don’t give in to that type of pressure. Once you listen to one story, then you’ll be *invited* to all the gossip sessions. I don’t like that. Tell me a story… cool… but when it becomes a personal attack…I keeps it moving.

Another thing that women do….. ((((some)))) if they have a problem with a member of management or another co-worker, they will sit around a bunch of others who will listen to their story… instead of going to the person involved. Why do women do that? The people you’re telling the story too cant help you…. why even let anyone in on a situation that they HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO POWER to change? After a while the story becomes gossip filled, and full of opinions. Always go to the “root” of your problems.

I had an issue with a coworker last week, and when I went to her to address it…..she told everyone about it. Made me ANGRY… * but I did good*. If I wanted everyone to know, I would have told them first. I guess she did that because she needed someone to talk too…. but for me that’s a way to get me upset. Too many opinions, will geek up someone to say or do something they wouldn’t normally do. Anyway, yesterday was the last straw….she knew she was wrong, but still she feels “some kinda way about it”. She CRIED told everyone who would listen… so today she made some changes… and next week things should be back to normal. If I wrote out the story… YALL WOULD BE MAD!!! LOL LOL TRUST ME.

Oh well…. I just washed a load, about to chill before sleep. I’m making some chili for dinner tomorrow….haven’t had that in a long time.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Foolishness brings the Scriptures to Life….Cree’s Blog Entry

 

monicaWhen I was a young gurl, I loved watching Bible Stories. I have a nice collection of them now as an adult. I’d be SO mad when I watched people laugh at Noah and his family as they build the ark. No matter what they said he kept building. Again… Anger Issues… watch this. I “thought” I was mad at the people because they talked and dogged him out, but really *I’m learning* that I was afraid of the consequences for the people. I knew as a child that Noah was building that Ark just as God told him… I knew that. I was afraid that the people wouldn’t “open their eyes” soon enough to be saved. I never thought I’d grow up in “real life” and see people behaving the same way they did in those days.

I work with mostly police officers.. and this one.. every time I’m around him I can feel God doing flips inside me. This man does something to my Spirit when he speaks. He’s so lost and so clueless…. I feel so bad for him. He’s in his early 50’s… and so arrogant. I can’t even see him ever opening up to know better. I hope he does.

I use to pray and cry that everyone goes to Heaven, but as an adult I see that people bring to life the Scriptures below.

Matthew 7:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

The Narrow and Wide Gates

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

 

 

Photo is of my cousin Monica… she will bury her mom tomorrow. Prayers going up. I love you Monica and Family.

Be Blessed

 

 

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Comment…. or disconnect? Cree’s Blog Entry

big likeAs the days go by I am reminded by God to take deep breaths as he continue to work with me on my Anger issues. I am not afraid to declare this issue of mines. As a matter of fact, it has helped me to STAY CONSCIENCE of arising situations that causes me to speak on a matter when nothing needs to be said.

This morning, I was having a moment when I wanted to comment on a post on FB that was a result of what I posted on yesterday. Instead of commenting on my post, this person made their own . I wanted so badly to comment.. but I know me… I don’t just comment…. I CAN SHUT THE WHOLE STAT DOWN….no curse words…. just TRUTH. But God asked me… “must you fight off all fools Cree”? He said now, you either continue reading and NOT COMMENT…. or totally disconnect… chose one? LOL LOL

He also revealed to me another reason why I have this issue with anger. He reminded me that when we were coming up as teens, me, my brother plus 2 sisters. We had real true friends. Our porch was the one everybody came to sit at EVERYDAY. To this day we still have the same friends… all of them are still in our lives after 32-35 years… everyone is still alive. WE never talked about each other, we never turned on each other, we all loved each other and people saw that in our friendships. We didn’t fight each other AT ALL.. PERIOD…. NEVER EVER.. AT ALL. NOT ONCE. We argued and debated but we were cool everyday. And so, this mentality of how I view friends took me over into my adult years. I went to a Wrap and Wine party this past Saturday at my good friend Gloria’s house. I met 10 women… not one thing I had to say about any of them when I left. You know how when you leave a function, or gathering, and there is something to be said negative about someone… anyone…. I’m not use to that type of mentality. So, I’m like okay God.. how does this tie into me? Well, that’s one of my triggers. When people ALWAYS have negative things to say about others. I don’t like that.

Now I am silly… If I’m out to dinner with some friends, and one of them are throwing down on some food and its a silly moment.. I may say something stupid like…. OOO chile you putting that fork da WORK BABY!!! LOL But everybody knows I’m silly and will expect for me to say it. Now…… if that person is not riding home with me, and I’m with others that was there….. I may hit back on that subject, in a funny NON OFFENDING WAY. And its going to be something said that I would say to THAT person I’m speaking about. I wouldn’t DARE go call up another person and talk and bring it up. That’s childish to me, and its drama filled. But to say… oooo that dress she had on was a mess, or she know she was busting out. WE * * just don’t disrespect our friendships like that. As friends we don’t talk about each other, if we offend, we talk, debate, and kiss and make up on the spot. I don’t sit at the table with folks who I will talk about, and dog out when I’m not in their presence.

NOW, I SAY THAT TO SAY….. I am offended by the way people today just totally talk down to each other, diss, curse, and are ready to fight each other these days. We allow so many people to “geek” us up to go with the popular, that we don’t even realize that its going to hurt us in the long run. This type of disrespectful behavior gets into my soul and breaks me down. Why even be around people you have to discuss and talk about? What point is that? I’m just saying people, … we have to do better with our energy. I’m so happy that I’m learning my triggers. So let me name them…. BULLIES, PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT OTHERS IN A MALICE AND MALICIOUS way, people who are RUDE.. and folks who DO NOT KNOW/CARE TOO… HOW TO TALK TO ANOTHER PERSON in a respectful tone. But….. I’ve been doing soooooooooo good… yeaaaaaaaa. I’m proud of myself. Chat layta.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Secrets, Facebook, Millionaire, and Anger Issues….Cree’s Blog Entry

excuse meI’m very proud of myself….. I’ve been doing really good with my ANGER issues. I’m working so, so hard to just learn to fall back, and not speak a word, especially when its not important. I learned that my issue is not having an attitude in the morning, or when I walk into a room… mine come in on STUPID ISH. For example. I was driving the other night from a movie, and there was a Detroit Tigers game that had just let out, and while WE had the GREEN light, people were still walking across the street like THEY HAD THE RIGHT AWAY. Okay, so I’m cool with it, then after while, people just kept on coming and “we” who had the right away….. was like okay nah…. we about to start driving… it is a green light for us. As I’m inching in letting the people know… this light is not going to stay green forever, I’m about to start driving.. this white dude… staring at me like… “YOU BETTA NOT HIT ME”… Lawd…. why did I have to see that look on his face? AND ITS MY TURN TO DRIVE THROUGH THE GREEN LIGHT!!!! I just started praying, I was about to lay on the horn for 30 minutes… LOL I just let God talk me out of it. This is the kinds of things I go through with being Angry. I NEVER fall out with family or friends… never have attitudes, never act funny to people… its other people and their ignorance that sends me over the top. But I’ve been doing good for the last 2 weeks or so. Trying not to have “ANGER stories to tell”. Trying to get up to ZERO STORIES.

I was sitting up thinking about how if we had Facebook back in the day when I was in my 20’s…. what would MY stats be? LOL LOL LOL Baaaaaby… it would probably read…”Had a party last night at my house, and when the morning came, my sister friend was laying in the drive way sleep”. ” One of my boos was ova, he wasn’t talking about nothing, so when the phone rang and it was my other boo, I pretended to have a headache and made home boy leave.” LOL On my way to Watts Club Mozambique *male dancers* to see my baby Ace Lee” “Got my gurls ova, we bout to talk ish over spades and down 1800, absolute, and Henny”. ” Walked up in the club looking good, banging body, hair laid, and all the men looking at me.”  LOL Thank God, we didn’t have that mess, I can save some of my drama and foolishness LOL LOL for the world to see. HAHAHAHAHA… those kids can have it… I only use it to uplift. I think that’s why I can relate to so many people, is because I know and remember the person I use to be, and so when I see young people behaving the same way…. I don’t JUDGE them. I try to help them. I have a lot of young gurls from my old job, and they listens to me. They have to have their day where they’re foolish, so when I speak to them I try to let them see another light of it. The sooner you come out of your foolishness, the sooner you can get on with God’s plan for your life.

I watched about 4 Secret Millionaire episodes this past week, and they were so good….. had me crying like a baby. If I ever got rich or have a husband who is, I’m going to spend his money giving it away. I will volunteer for the rest of my life to helping teens, women, and the elderly. So many of our young people need help. One day I had group meetings with students at work, and I was so shocked to hear how many kids who have foster parents. Even the grandmothers are either dead, or can’t be there for them. I think a lot of people from my generation were on drugs, and sexually abused. It was so many rapes going on in my days of being a teen, and some of these women never recovered. Everything is a dang ole secret now a days… PISSES ME OFF. I HATE SECRETS. HATE THEM WITH A PASSION. These grandmothers raising their grand kids with all this LOVE, they should have shown their daughters when they were growing up. Now the daughter lost her way, and the grandmother is not telling the whole story to anyone or the grand kids about why her daughter cant MENTALLY raise her own kids. The daughter has been raped, molested, exposed to drugs, didn’t have a father at home, was left to find food for her siblings…. all kinds of stuff. I’ve seen it first hand… and after all these years.. it angers me to know this story about my friend. Anyway…. let me get off this subject.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Proud of ME……Cree’s Blog Entry

note to breatheWow, I’m writing another day. So proud of myself, learning to be consistent in things. I had a great planned day. I had a headache earlier, just going through something’s right now. After watching TD Jakes “In the mix” sermon 8/18/2013….. God gave me answers to what happened to me on Friday of last week. Nothing bad, but it happened and there is nothing I can do about it.

Anywayyyyyyy… LOL I was watching the Season Premiere of Basketball Wives tonight. As I was listening to Evelyn tell her story about her and Chad, I couldn’t help but think about her ANGER issues. How quick she was to throw a glass in someone’s face, how she smacked folks, and threw drinks. She is what I called a Basketball Wives Bully. And I’m not in NO WAY saying that she got what she DESERVED when she was head butted by her husband. No, no, no, way am I saying that. But I am saying that you get what you put out there. The part that she seem not to get is that it came back to her with a MAN…. HER HUSBAND whom she had only been married to a little over a month. This wasn’t even a PRIVATE matter, it was PUBLIC one….. everyone heard about her story. Worst than anything she has ever done to anyone. She said that she felt that everyone was saying that she got what she deserved. Can you imagine all the people she’s fell out with, laughing, talking, and happy to see her this way? Oh……..this is pay back for many people.

I hope that she sees the bigger picture here. She cried a lot, and I really felt bad for her. But she has to understand what she did to others ** terrorized* folks, she got back in a different FORM. That’s what she wasn’t expecting. You can’t go around bullying people, and think you’re going to go off and live this happy RICH LAVISH life. If she doesn’t get the bigger picture…..she’s going to find herself angrier, and in more trouble than this time. I really hope that her friends, and her time with Iyanla has helped….. we shall see. I’m routing for ya gurl.

I know I need to be in bed….. I need to take my mom to see The Butler…. she doesn’t know I’ve already seen it…. I don’t think I could tell her.

Another day and I’m doing good with my ANGER ISSUES. I’m working hard to get passed this one. I’m conscience of my thought pattern on what triggers me. I have to share this real quick funny story. When I was on my 3rd day of this, (((God is my teacher))) my daughter wanted Subway before she went home, and just next door was Jets Pizza.

I ordered pizza but stayed in the van until 15 minutes was up. Well after she got her subway, I somehow missed when she walked over to Jets to see if my pizza was ready. So after 15 minutes , I walked in and there she was. She had paid for my food and everything. When I asked her was it ready, she said No. I was shocked because it was well over 20 minutes. I went to the counter and asked the lady was a pizza for Walker ready? She looked over at the one pizza that was “waiting for its owner”, and said No….. just a few more minutes. So, I’m like okay…. before I turned around to chat with my daughter….I heard God loud and clear when he said …..”LaCrease that’s your pizza up there.” I looked over there and said in my mind ” No God, she said it wasn’t mine. LOL He said yes… that’s your pizza. I knew I heard his voice… I kept saying… No, the lady said it wasn’t ready. I knew it was, but I just didn’t want to believe it, because I could feel my heat gauge moving….. I’m about to RAISE THE ROOF! My daughter didn’t know what I was thinking, but my facial expression had totally change, she thought I was getting mad because it was taking so long. She said momma, I’m going back to the van and started smiling like…..OH BOY.

So, I’m standing there at the counter, when the lady calls 2 other people and my food was ordered before theirs. I said ummmmmm excuse me (((( in my business voice))))) to the same lady WHO TOLD ME NO MY PIZZA WASNT READY……I see that their pizza is ready…. can you please check to see if that pizza up there is mines. She said sure, went back and picked up the same pizza SHE TOLD ME NO to…. when she read the paper, and looked up at me…. I knew it WAS mines…she said ” Maam I am so sorry”. We can make you another one. I just stared at her a good 2 minutes between her handling me the pizza, and me actually grabbing it to leave. I was so MADD.

As I’m walking to the van… God is asking me…. Why are you mad? I said because my pizza was up there ALL THAT TIME. He said… but didn’t I tell you that was your pizza the moment you walked in? I said yess… but.. He said then why are you SO ANGRY? Do you think she did it on purpose? I said no… because she doesn’t know me. This was only a few weeks ago, I enjoy the questions God ask me to get to my reasons…. and when I do… its not even worth being angry. I went home and tore that pizza up!!! LOL I think that he likes to sit back with his arms crossed watching to see what I’m going to do. I was proud of myself, I felt him looking over my shoulders. Whew the test I’ve had…..its worth it, because I no longer want to be this way… NO MORE!!!! NO MORE… NO MORE NO MORE!!! ((((smiling)))) And I’m going to write about it every week to keep me on track.

My Birthday is coming up Sep 3…. I’ll be 46. Yes!

Be Blessed

COLOSSIANS 3:2-Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Who R U LaCrease? Part 4 *final* Cree’s Blog Entry @tylerperry

keeping my mouth shutPART 4……..    But in order to do that… I had to ask God…where did this come from? Lord, why do I get upset when someone is sharing with me a story about what someone else did to them? Why do I take it to heart so deeply? Why am I so emotionally connected to their story? Why are my insides on fire as they tell the story? Why do I even care?
I was fed up with my own behavior of trying to “fight” everyday with people about how they treat others. So, I sat down with the TV off and started asking God why am I this way? There has to be a root, where did this begin? All of a sudden I started thinking about my childhood. I was bullied in school. I was bullied because I was different and did my own thing. I admire people who do their “own thing” and not what others did….. unless they like it. If you don’t like what I do, that you wouldn’t do… don’t comment on MY stuff. My dad knew I was different too. I feel to this day that he was a major part of why I have a thing against bullies. For example. Say for instance our light bill was due tomorrow. My dad would spend the money, have fun with it, and worry about that when…. the shut off FINAL NOTICE came. Me, on the other hand, if I had a shut off notice, I would pay the bill, so that I could have PEACE, and not be in the middle of a conversation with someone laughing it up, then all of a sudden …. I THINK OF THIS LIGHT BILL THAT’S GOING TO BE SHUT OFF AT ANY MOMENT. In my daddy’s eyes, I would be considered “silly” in a BULLY FORM OF WAY for thinking like this, and for worrying way to much about it. That always bothered me. It made me feel like this…. If I did things or think things differently than you, mines is considered “STUPID” but yours is considered “SMART”. In my eyes that’s a form of “bullying”.
So, as I got older and realized that the gurl who always stayed in the house, people loved me for how different I was. I was NEVER popular in school, but when I started working and living on my own, people connected with me in a HUGE WAY. Because I was different. I stuck up for the “under dogs”. If I saw you messing with someone and they looked like they didn’t want to be apart… I would say something in a nice tone, and let you know… “we don’t do that here”. I felt that I was that voice for them, but it came from my own place when I was a child.
Then God reminded me of a time when a coworker came to me and said Cree I have something to tell you, but I have to tell you when I call you later, because I know you’re going to be mad. That right there, sent my gauge up to 100. LOL I begged her to tell me now, but she didn’t. When she told me the story later, yep I was mad.. ON FIYAH. Long story short. Me and that coworker was standing around waiting for customers, when our boss son came in. He was good looking, 4 years younger than my daughter. When my boss introduced us to him, we said “oh he’s handsome a good looking guy’… and that was the end of that. Didn’t this BOSS/MANAGER go and tell the other MANAGERS that we were all over her son, and that we were acting like “cougars”, and she also said, women like us is the reason why he don’t come up to the job. PISSED ME OFF. First of all, the lil short sawed off rut…. didn’t look like much, second of all, we both have kids who are GROWN and OLDER THAN HIM, and third of all…. we like men in their late 40’s early 50’s. WHAT?????????? So since I’m faithful to my word and friend about not mentioning anything. We both speak to the Manager, but we keep it moving….we don’t deal with her like that.
Then God bought to my remembrance about how I take up for Tyler Perry when people talk bad about him. I connect with Tyler because we share a lot of child hood issues. I love him as a brother, and a long time ago I adopted in my mind that he is just like me. People talk about him because he’s different, he do things his own way. I LOVE and ADMIRE that about him. When I take up for him, I see us as kids, and since I’m older than him. I see myself as the big sister. And NOBODY is going to talk about MY BROTHER!!! I never shared this with anyone, but when I use to read my google alerts on him and the article was bad and the comments were even worst. I would get on there and SHUT THE WHOLE BOARD DOWN… I would nut up on anyone who had anything negative to say about him. Again it goes back to my child hood, its a form of BULLYING in my mind.
One day I came across this page and this white lady was talking about Tyler, I sent her a email and this is how it went.
RE: Backstage
I am a faithful fan of Tyler Perry. As I read your post about him and read your sarcasm….. I was upset to see that you were taking shots at him. For NO reason. If you’re going to write about a story…. WRITE IT. Leave your remarks out.
But then I realized it was YOU…. who looked stupid. Lindsey had a daughter NOT a son. Trying to make Tyler look bad, you need to be FIRED. Get it together PROFESSIONAL writer.
Then she sent this back to me: Hi lacrease,My name is * took her name out* I’m sorry if my post about the Tyler Perry Foundation offended you. Until your comment I didn’t know there actually was such an organization.I’ve taken the liberty of changing the name and removing the Tyler Perry Foundation from the post but the post itself remains.I’m not against people with GID or those who opt for sexual reassignment surgery. It wasn’t my intention to offend you but I’m sorry if I did.Regards,
After doing this…. I decided that I cannot fight these BULLIES, if Tyler Perry can keep it moving, than so can I. This is what God has been showing me for the longest about myself. I’m the same way with HOMELESS people. Don’t let me hear someone talking down on them, I will have a fit. Don’t talk about anyone who is less fortunate. Don’t mis treat kids, BECAUSE THEY DO KIDS STUFF….another issue that God should me. My coworker stopped me from what I was doing and asked me to come over to her, because she had something to tell me. When I got to her, she asked me….. WHY DO YOU GIVE THESE KIDS MONEY? PISSED ME OFF. My heat Gauge went to 100. Before I knew it I started nutting up, no curse words, or loud talking… NONE OF THAT…. I basically told her that I was grown, I do what I want with my money, and that you have NO IDEA of how many people gave me money as a child and adult, and this is my pay off. That was truly the day, she became my “friend”. She got me…. she knew then that I was my OWN WOMAN in my OWN LANE, doing my OWN THING, with my OWN MIND….
Since God showed me these things about myself. I’m learning to kinda emotionally disconnect from the people I love so much. I love my family and friends. I get to tied into their story and take it to heart. I ‘ve been doing sooooo good lately. God reminds me when I’m in the middle of a test, so that I can think about it as its happening, and to pay attention to my “heat gauge”. LOL I can listen to a story and not be so quick to get upset, or offer my “opinion” about it so quickly. I realize that God is in control and that I don’t have to “mentally fight” off bullies, and take up for the underdog, or hear a story and get upset about it, because its a LIE, MEAN, BULLYISH, or GOSSIP. I’m learning to “keep it moving”. I don’t have to take up for my Brother Tyler Perry who I LOVE so dearly anymore. He can handle his own affairs, and people are going to say what they want about him and everybody else too. I have gotten emails and DM from people who ask me…. do you see Tyler Perry for your husband? LOL I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at them, I can see no further than me and he as kids, being different and trying to make it. I couldn’t understand it myself, until God should me the connection.
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/syleena-johnson-iyanla-vanzant_n_3677969.html I was watching Fix My Life with Syleena Johnson and when she asked why she still feels this way about her mom Iyanla replied :”because when you were a little person the big people were behaving badly… and then you grow up…. but you never shifted your relationship with those big people… so in your life she’s still a big person bullying you… and your response is that of a 4 year old… you ever learned how else to be. THAT WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH……THAT WAS THE MOMENT I GOT IT…. I AM A GROWN WOMAN… FIGHTING AS A CHILD IN MY ADULT MIND AND LIFE. TELL ME SOMEBODY GOT THAT? That video is ME FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. THIS WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH.
Everyday there is a test for me…. I have to be open at all times for the warning…. hey maybe there will be times when God doesn’t warn me. LOL I know him…. there will be those times. But the bigger picture here is that I WANT to be a better person, and yes I love my family and friends, but I have to emotionally disconnect from the issues, not to make it mines, to not take on the emotionally responsibility of fixing the issue. But at the same time continue to help them out in anyway I can, * I love talking to people* but not to make it mines.
Thanks for reading, and please learn from MY Life Lessons.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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