Happy New Year!!!
I have truly been through a lot in 2012… but as it ends…. God sure does have a way to let me know things are going to be just fine.
I’m excited about the new things he will do this year. I refuse to drive , all my life I like to be in control. I’m going to do things a little different this year, I’m going to let God do the driving.
I’m going to FOCUS on a few things, and I’m not fighting anyone, any feelings, or things that are NOT my battle. I can’t do it. Why should I have too when he said that he would do it? That’s crazy!!! LOL
I plan to get more into my Bible and have the personal relationship I’m use to enjoying with Jesus. That makes me feel good. Just thinking
about it.
Be Blessed
Cree
I’m excited about spending some time with God…. just he and I, when I move to Atlanta. Everyday I get a text, inbox, email, tweet, asking “when are you moving”…… haha even I don’t know that… its all in Divine Order.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
When God said to me years ago……… “Where you are going La’Crease everybody can’t go *ride*. I’m seeing first hand what he meant by that. Testimony coming SOON.                #itsagoodthing
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Today was a good day at work. Yesterday my ZM *manager over MY manager* asked me would I like to work the Children’s Fathers Day Table where kids can sit down and make Fathers Day Cards for their dad. She knows how much I love working with them. So, I gladly accepted. I was so excited about doing this project because when I leave Walmart kids are the ones I want to work with. We had a ball today. We had some many children to make cards. We had markers, glitter, colored pencils, sticky stars, glue sticks, and other things to make cards with. They really enjoyed themselves. Parents were asking us, how do you all have the patience for this? When God gives you this gift to work with kids, it doesn’t bother you. Its so natural for me. Kids bring joy to my heart, they make me laugh, they are so funny. Look,…….. this little boy * black* he says to me…. you’re the boss? I said No, he said why you aint doing nothing? LOL LOL It was so funny. LOL LOL Those 4 1/2 hours went so fast. I can work with kids any day.
After the story I wrote a few days ago about speaking to my coworker https://lacreasewalker.com/2012/06/15/deep-rooted-issues-crees-blog/ . Yesterday when I walked into the building as I was about to make my *Hello* rounds. I went to her first and said Hello and she smiled and spoke…. I was happy that maybe she got what I was saying to her after we had a run in. Just so happen, we had to work near each other, and she OPENED UP. She was just chatting with me, I was really surprised and so happy that she *got it*. If we all got along just for the hours we’re at work, our days would be so much easier. I CANNOT deal with having a run in with a co worker who I see everyday 5 times a week. We work with the public, how is it that we can’t speak, communicate and compliment each other, we don’t work with each other directly…..we work with the customers? When I walk into the building…. I BRING PEACE… WHICH IS MY CHOICE OF PERFUME. And I wear it well…. PRAISE GOD.
I have 3 days off in a row and it starts NOW!!!! I will be spending time putting some touches on my LIFE!!! EXCITED!!!
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires. – Psalm 37:4
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Yesterday at work, I had a older white lady and her care giver a young black gurl to come through my line. They were very friendly, so I asked the young gurl….. how did you become to be her care giver. YES… I ask my customers questions, because I like to learn things about people. She told me that she was waiting to be placed at a hospital which was coming up soon, and in the meantime she became the lady caretaker. I can tell they are very close and very trusting of each other. I asked the young gurl…… how did you know that you’re suppose to take care of the elderly, what was your break through in knowing that you enjoy this work? She looked at me and said… I’m going to share this story with you. She told me that when she was a little gurl, her momma would kill ANTS AND FLIES that was in the house, she said she would SECRETLY take them in her room, and try to nurse them back alive. She said she was very upset with her mother plenty of times for killing them, and she would do her best to bring them back to life. OMG … tears formed in my eyes because she said she knew then that she would take care of people. when she got older Her friends in school and her family would tell her the same thing. Her friends called her the “Bug Girl*. Wow!!! What a Testimony. God has to be smiling down on her. I believe that God plant early in our heads what he wants us to do.
I found that people like us, cant attach ourselves to others. We have to always have the Spirit of “keep it moving”. I say that because, we are always fighting for the underdog, we are popular people, but not with the things people do in the world. When it comes to my HOMELESS PEOPLE, I cant care how people feel about me giving them money or what they do with it. I don’t /cant allow those influences to take over me. People often say… gurl you don’t know what they do with that money”… and I say to them, and I don’t know what you do with it either when I give it to you. Same thing. See people don’t see or even know how far LOVE goes into helping and loving others, because they are always trying to get to THEIR next high of whatever MOTIVATES THEM.
There is no limit to LOVE that’s in my HEART. I pray that GOD SENDS the MAN for me to share it with.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
I got the memo from GOD HIMSELF
in my hands
there are several lanes in my life
filled with people who are connected to me in some way
we all want different things
once we make it to THIS ONE destination.
The bell sound and we all run
running in my lane
I BELIEVE with all my heart the MEMO GOD GAVE TO ME
shall come to pass.
I run,
NEVER looking in or around me
at the other runners
I’m not distracted because I am in my OWN lane
everyone else has their lane
but for some reason they’re all looking at ME now.
I don’t see them
because I am looking AHEAD
in my own lane.
They continue to run
but something seem hard to them
they’re tired of running
the race is too long
but still they want to finish
I’m feeling good enjoying my race
never at all having the urge to look away
to the side, or behind
never even once.
The race is taking longer than I expected
but still I run
one by one, by one, by one
they’re starting to believe they can’t finish the race
they need a “driver” to take them to their destination
they figure, if she’s going …we’ll get there!
because they see… ….mines looks promising,
only because I BELIEVE
and they sense and see that… I BELIEVE
they figure “why run a race I cant see and believe
when SHE WILL SURELY GET US THERE BY HER FAITH”?
So they leave their lanes
to run in my MINES
so busy running the race before ME
I ignore the fact that they’ve abandoned their lane
for mines
they seem to be “cheerleaders”
“friends” “sisters” all running
with me
when all the time they’re behind me
expecting to finish this race by my legs.
IN MY LANE….NOT THERE’S
trying to run in the same lane as I.
I got another MEMO from GOD
as I run this race
saying….
“you have people in your lane
trying to piggy back off you,
and I’ve always told you that
everybody can’t go where you’re going”.
turn around
behind you, LOOK…. in your own lane
you will see that everyone
who “claimed” they’re to meet
at the same destination
are all in your lane
holding on to your coat tail
trying to ride with you.
So, one by one
I ripped them away from me
disconnecting them like a radio dropped in water
Days pass, weeks pass, months pass, a year has passed
and no sign of the runners
I am in the race all alone
others have fell short
I cry, then I smile
I can see my destination clear as day
but one
by one
by one
by one
they try their best to get back in the race
THIS TIME… IM THE BADDEST CHICK
I can see ALL lanes
those coming, those running
this time I’m looking for distracters
I see them ALL in my rear view
a prayer sends them on their way
I’m still running
and there are more DISTRACTIONS
its amazing the view I see
when I open my eyes
Still running
I’m in my own lane
I’m still running….
I am still in the race.
Â
Cree
 
Just sitting here thinking about……. how in life you get all of these *signs* …. which at the time doesn’t make sense. Then something REALLY BIG happens, and you sit there, and you sit there, and you sit there, and you sit there. REALIZING… .. …..that these *SIGNS* from MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE * in the last week* …. ALL have one word in common LIES.          FREE UNEXPLAINED LIES.
And so, today, I sit here thinking…… hands over my mouth, staring into space…. hair all over the place * like a CRAZY person*, face disfigured from the many channels of my facial expressions. Asking God how did I come to this place……. where I just sit and *allow* this disrespect to happen over, and over, and over, and over? People coming at me sideways like I’m stupid….. while I sit back and I listen to God fill me in on their schemes and LIES.
The “old” La Crease would have ripped them apart LIKE AN APPLE IN A JUICER….. the *new* La Crease sits here and listen to God talk her down from it. Boy these people are so BLESSED.
People that I LOVE… people who I use to DEARLY LOVE, strangers-customers, and PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER~ EVER BE APART OF MY LIFE AGAIN…. In silence, I listen to God, tears form, they fall….. how many more days do I have to stand behind this *fence* you have me in separating my teeth from these people? Is this my life? Tell me now? Lord, please Help me to stay in this fence. Its safer for me, and its safer for them. I know Lord, that you’re so deep inside me, that if I get them…..you’ll GET ME….and you know…. I don’t want any trouble from you * looking at you SMILING*.
For 8 1/2 years * at my job* I have shown myself friendly, I go to work to motivate, inspire and to encourage EVERYONE….EVERYDAY. So deep, and to the point where if I get upset about something…. they’ll come to me and stare…..asking…… Ms. La’Crease, I’ve never seen you like this before…are you okay? Its always expected of ME * because of what I put out*….what I’ve shown them throughout this walk….. this I know….. but, I am not perfect and I hate to be treated as if I do no wrong. My coworkers truly adore me this I know…. they have constantly showed me this in all ways. I have shown not only my coworkers this *new La Crease* side that God has introduced me to many years ago. But also to my favorite neighborhood customers that come to my store weekly.
So, now that they see YOU in me Lord….. I CAN’T go back to the “old” LaCrease. I get that!!! I have to stay this way. ….PLUS I LOVE IT HERE. But can I please ask this… why is it so HARD? Why? Why won’t people just let me BE NICE? Why do they LIE to me for no reason? Why do they come to me being FAKE and you know I KNOW THE TRUTH…. YOU KNOW I DO LORD…. “the old me” I would have hung up on them…… in the middle of their conversation and turned my ringer off FOR GOOD. How did I get tolerance for this mess? I don’t play this ? Are you serious?? I know mines is NOTHING compared to what JESUS went through…..
I’m really going through right now. I’m one of the strongest women I know. I admit.. I’m very strong* my siblings can tell it best*….but it seems EASIER TO PULL OUT MY SHARK TEETH and put bite marks into some of these *wackos* behind. LOL But I LOVE THE LORD TOOOOOOOO MUCH to go back to the *old* me. I love the FAVOR I RECEIVE EVERYWHERE I GO……everywhere I go people know me, people talk to me…. they recognize me all over the city….. Thank you for not having stranger eyes, and for being someone that’s approachable, Thank you for having/receiving the best customer service… my WISDOM… my ADVICE… MY LOVE …MY SMILE…. MY SPIRIT…. Lord, I love this side better….. all I ask is that you keep me behind the fence with YOU. Protect me…..keep me *new*.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
I guess in order to get to that….. I have to go through this 😦  No way to live.
Growing up…. MY parents were married and had 4 children. I am the oldest of the 4. My parents told us they LOVED us everyday. We got hugs everyday. We got kisses everyday. WE got whopping’s when we needed them. LOL We were showered with LOVE. We were taught not to FIST fight each other, we could only express ourselves through discussion. We couldn’t get personal, we had to STAY on the SUBJECT. No going below the belt. We went to Church and we learned about Jesus. I was on the punishment all the time for sneaking in the peanut butter, and that’s when I started reading my bible every day. It was amazing that I somehow understood the King James Version.
Last week, my mom walked up to me….. she held me by my face slowly, and she kissed me on the forehead, she kissed me on both my cheeks, on my nose, on my chin, then she kissed me on my lips. I was in HEAVEN even at the age of 44. THANK YOU JESUS. My MOMMA KNOWSSSSSSSS that when I was a little gurl, I LOVED when she kissed me like that. I JUST MELTED. She knows that this calms any storm that I’m going through. She knows this. I love how personal she make her LOVE for me. She also had her special way of showing LOVE to my sisters and brother in the way THAT THEY UNDERSTAND.
When I left home to start life on my own at 22…. I found out quickly that NOT everyone knew LOVE as I had experienced it. I found out that all parents didn’t take their kids out to dinner, or for rides, or tucked them in and told them bedtime stories. I thought that all parents told their kids everyday that they LOVED them. I thought that everybody hugged and kissed when they saw each other, and walked into peoples home. I thought that everybody said ” I love you” as they left to go their own way. I thought that if you’re at home, and company over you don’t have to put your money or belongings up because you’re at home. I thought that when you get into a jam that you can call your family….. and get help.
My personality draws a lot of people to me. I didn’t know then….what I know now, but they were drawn to the LOVE that I displayed to them. God had wonderful people in my life who are still here today. So, here I was this “magnet” OF “POSITIVE ENERGY” attracting all of these people to me. ALL the LOVE that was inside of ME ….. I was doing my best, but what I found myself doing was …….stressing myself out trying to GIVE PEOPLE some of what I was feeling. Love was seeping out of my pours….. that my family/parents put there. It was all I knew. In my 20’s some took it and ran me over . Still for the life of me I wondered, was I the only one going through this?
One day me and my Siblings were having our talks at dinner in my home. And we started talking about how they experienced the SAME THING. Our personal friends say that we’re SOOOOOOOO nice. We laugh and say……. they don’t get to see that other side. LOL And I say that to say…. we are NICE…but we do bark… we just bark in LOVE. All of us are cut throat HONEST… we will tell you the truth and not hold back ANYTHING….but its all in LOVE.
Here I am 44 years old, trying to understand and ADJUST to the issues that goes on in the world that I NEVER knew exist inside of what I was taught by my parents. All I know is LOVE… to walk into a room and smile, give out hugs, give out blessings, and compliments. God is teaching me that no matter what I see outside of what I learned at HOME…… be true to MYSELF. I’m Blessed. I know what some people in the world was never taught… I know how to LOVE.
When we were in our teens, we didn’t have to hide our money when company came over, we had “like minded” friends. But when I got on my own in my 20’s and started working, and meeting new people. I would keep my belongings around, but I found out real quick that people will come into your home and steal your things.That was foreign to me. My Sisters and I had boyfriends growing up, but we never looked or took each other boyfriends. So, when I moved out, I was carefree and kept my boyfriends around my friends, next thing I knew….they hooked up. I was devastated. I didn’t learn how to deal with these types of issues because My Sisters and I, never crossed that line. We never had to deal with those types of issues. I would go to my friends house, walk in and hug their mom, and hug the rest of the family, and they would look at me like……..”where they do that at”…..all you do is say hi to the person you come to see….. and that’s it. And there were times when I went to my parents like……. why other people don’t hug and kiss like we do?
In my life time… my “magnet” of LOVE that was taught by both my parents…… has pulled in Rapist, Molesters, Killers, … and the list goes on. BUT GOD HAS BEEN THERE FOR ME. LET ME TELL YOU. He knows my heart better than myself, and he has really umbrella me from a lot of mess. He knows of the LOVE that pours out of me, and he knows people see it. And so he has always protected me from many issues. I can’t help that I’m this way… this is all I know. I REFUSE to step outside of who I am… to FIT in with how “the world” works. I’ll DIE FIRST. I am NOOOOO WAY… NO KINDA WAY PERFECT…. just because I know how to LOVE and show LOVE…. but I am special….. and it takes SPECIAL FRIENDS, SPECIAL PEOPLE, AND A FUTURE SPECIAL HUSBAND * if the Lord say the same* to be in my CIRCLE. And finally after understanding that I am different…… I LOVE CREE.
But before I close…… I must say this.With all that I have learned…… I am a VERY POWERFUL WOMAN….. MORE IN THE NEXT BLOG ENTRY.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
As I laid on the couch last week talking to God. I asked him…… PLEASE TELL ME…. LORD, WHY AM I SO NICE? WHY CANT I JUST GO OFF AND LET THAT BE THE END OF IT? WHY DO I FORGIVE PEOPLE SO EASILY WHEN OTHERS WOULD NEVER SPEAK A WORD TO THE PEOPLE WHO HURT THEM? WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR ME TO KEEP IT MOVING AND STILL KEEP PEACE? WHY AM I SO NICE… I MAKE MYSELF SICK LORD!!!! WHY?
Again, growing up all I knew was how to LOVE. I was told by my parents I love you so much and not only that, but they showed us. My siblings and I wasn’t allowed to fight so in order to keep it moving, we had to kiss, and say to each other “I Love you”. So, now that we have all this LOVE inside us, we started experiencing people trying to make us feel bad about saying the words “I love you” in public. We thought that everybody told their family this. My sister and I are light skinned, and my brother and other sister are brown skinned. People played the color game on us, we wasn’t taught about different shades of skin so when people said it….. we were like…. we have the same parents all 4 of us…..what’s the big deal? After a while in life, I started to think we were the ones who grew up dysfunctional.
Looking back on our lives, we were very popular. Everybody in the neighborhood knew us. We were good people, with good friends, whose parents wouldn’t let us do any and everything. We had rules, and our parents didn’t play.
Going back to my last post. When my friend who slept with my daughters father when I was in my early 20’s did that to me. I was devastated, because I never knew people betrayed others like that. My aunts didn’t do it to their sisters, my dad is/was CLOSE TO BOTH OF HIS BROTHERS… my parents didn’t do that to each other, so here I am learning something I never saw first hand or experienced, and I had to learn forgiveness through this selfish act. *Wooosa Cree* After it was all said and done, even though I was an angry person before this happened, it humbled me, and I learned FORGIVENESS. PRAISE GOD 🙂
One day I was with my best friend Charlene, and I had seen my Mother. I gave her a hug and a kiss on her lip, and my friend was like WOW, you kiss your momma on the lips? And I’m like yeah…. don’t you? She was like No…. we just say Hi. My mother kept telling me she LOVED me, and I said it to her as well. My friend had never seen or experienced this. That’s how my family is…. this is all WE KNOW. This is how we grew up. When we go to each other’s house, only thing ANYBODY will be saying as they are reaching to HUG AND give a KISS is……. I LOVE YOU!!! We don’t just walk into each others house without hugs and kisses AND START A CONVERSATION. THAT’S DISREPECTFUL LOL LOL My daughter is 25 and my nieces are 21 and 17, my nephews are 18 and 21. WE all KISS ON THE LIPS. That’s how we are. And I came to the conclusion that THIS IS HOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER!!!! MY FAMILY. We don’t steal from each other, we don’t misuse each other, we don’t take advantage of each other..we never slept with each other men….. BUT WE LOVE TO ARGUE AND DEBATE!!! LOL LOL One day I’m going to VIDEO RECORD one of our debates when my sisters and brother get together at my house or theirs. Babbbbbby YOU WILL BE SCARED A FIGHT IS GOING TO BREAK OUT. LOL But what we learned is that…. growing up we couldn’t FIGHT PHYSICALLY, so we had to learn to ARGUE… we had to use words. We NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GET PERSONAL. We stay on the subject and go at it for hours. IM THE OLDEST so I always WIN….* SIKE* You do not want to challenge me in a debate and I know I’m right. LOL LOL I did record one of our debates… maybe I’ll find it.
Going back to my previous blog entry….After I learned FORGIVENESS I started looking and loving people through the eyes of God. When people would say something or do something to me, I didn’t take it to heart… LIKE THE NEXT PERSON would. Because I know that hurt people, hurt people. And I had so much LOVE for others, that it was starting to seep through my pores. People saw it. It was like having on white pants, and people issues ,and their issues with me was seen on my pants. I attracted people who wanted to use me, or talked to me sideways. Not only did I tell people that I LOVED THEM…. but I showed it. And that’s when I learned that most people didn’t grow up with those words TAUGHT and SHOWN to them…. like I was. To tell someone you LOVE them in 2012 is like saying….. when I get my check I’m going to give you all of it. They don’t believe that. I didn’t grow up like that… and at one of our sit down gatherings, My Siblings and I learned that in our own personal lives, we all have struggles with the same issues. WOW .
I always said that its 2 ways to LOVE someone. Through the eyes of God, and an Earthly way to LOVE. To Love people in an earthly way is to…. be nice, but when they get out of order, you go back to your “childish ways” and handle it. Through the eyes of God is to be humble and communicative when two don’t see eye to eye. BE patient and let the other speak. Listen, and ask God to help you understand the issue at hand. That’s who I try to be, and so far is has worked for me.
So, I asked God why am I so friendly? Why when people do me wrong, I’ll still speak to them and be polite? When in my mind I want to ignore them and pretend their not even born? He said to me as I laid on my couch last week….. your mother PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAYED for the day that she would see you kind. She prayed that your anger would turn to LOVE as she taught you. He said it brings joy to her heart to see you happy and smiling without being mean and angry all the time. He said somebody PRAYED for you.
Siblings: My 2nd oldest Sister Na, Baby Sister Peedie, 3rd child only Brother Bobby, and ME~Cree
Â
Â
Â
Â
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Yesterday at work, I had a older white lady and her care giver a young black gurl to come through my line. They were very friendly, so I asked the young gurl….. how did you become to be her care giver. YES… I ask my customers questions, because I like to learn things about people. She told me that she was waiting to be placed at a hospital which was coming up soon, and in the meantime she became the lady caretaker. I can tell they are very close and very trusting of each other. I asked the young gurl…… how did you know that you’re suppose to take care of the elderly, what was your break through in knowing that you enjoy this work? She looked at me and said… I’m going to share this story with you. She told me that when she was a little gurl, her momma would kill ANTS AND FLIES that was in the house, she said she would SECRETLY take them in her room, and try to nurse them back alive. She said she was very upset with her mother plenty of times for killing them, and she would do her best to bring them back to life. OMG … tears formed in my eyes because she said she knew then that she would take care of people. when she got older Her friends in school and her family would tell her the same thing. Her friends called her the “Bug Girl*. Wow!!! What a Testimony. God has to be smiling down on her. I believe that God plant early in our heads what he wants us to do.
Inside the mind of cree 