Lord Thank you for another day. Lately I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my life since May of last year with the things that made me “Seek first the Kingdom of God”. You told me to do one thing…… and that’s watch what I say. I didn’t understand what you meant, because my intent is to never hurt anyone’s feelings. But that wasn’t what you were trying to tell me. And for the last few months, you have really shown me what you meant. It’s so deep, and just to think that sometimes I talk so much * not bad* that I never knew that people take my words to heart, to be truth, to the ends. And if my words are not clear, it can go south and that would be the end.
For the past month or so, I have been going to work being quiet, just doing my work and leaving the building. My boss came up to me and she said, ‘ I know you don’t like such and such, but I have good news, she will be such and such such and such. I looked at her and GOD SAID DONT SAY ONE WORD…. and I’m saying to myself God let me defend myself, BECAUSE I DIDNT SAY THAT!!! He said, be quiet and listen. After she told me “the big news” she told me NOT to tell anyone * she knows that I wont*, I said okay and she walked away. I stood there doing my work, saying to myself, I DIDNT TELL HER THAT!! Then God said, LaCrease you may not have said you didn’t like her, but in a conversation you come off strong, and since you didn’t make yourself clear, its out there, that you don’t like/care for this person. Oh, that killed me to let her leave me and she believed that I said that. God said to me La’Crease your words have power, and when people talk to you, they listen, you have to be careful of your words, your facial expression, and your body language. Can you imagine how hard that is for me?
Lately, I’ve been wanting to post my comments on certain things, and I hear God loud and clear, DO NOT RESPOND TO THAT POST!!!! Oh it gets me. I don’t respond either. Same with Facebook. I have been knowing these 2 sisters for over 25 years, and they aren’t talking to each other, I posted something on my board about forgiveness, and one sister responded, and then the other, then the first one responded after hers, then the mother comes and respond. They set my post OFF!!! The sister is mad at the mother and her 4 sisters. I DID NOT KNOW THAT. So the one sister THINKS that I knew this and posted on the topic * I haven’t talked to her since Christmas*, and so she decides to set off my page, thinking I KNEW that SHE wasn’t talking to her WHOLE FAMILY. SMH.Then the sister I’m close to, sends me a private message saying that God used me to post that message, because she knew that I didn’t know this was going on, and that she glad it was posted because she knew God lead me. I feel bad for what’s going on in their family, but I came to the conclusion that I won’t let the fact that I am FRIENDS with people, stop me from posting what’s in my heart, and what God leads me to post. Again, I wanted to post and say something to the one sister, but GOD SAID NO!
Sometimes, when I’m expressing myself, things come out that are true but at the same time, I feel that I share too much. And you know how people gossip and can’t wait to tell something? Well, that’s not me, I tell to much of what’s good. That’s what God is telling me. I get excited and start talking, and these last few months God has really muffled my mouth, and when I’m quiet I get to see the whole conversation without me adding anything to it. And I like that.
A few weeks ago, my coworker was telling me about someone she knew who was gunned down, and the more she told the story I was saying to myself, this story sound familiar. When she got to the name of the person, I knew I had heard the story before. Just before I was about to say ” I knew him”, God said DONT SAY A WORD!!! I listened to that whole conversation without saying a word of how I knew this person, or anything. And God is not trying to keep me from communicating , I KNOW THIS, he is trying to get me to understand that its okay to not comment on everything, to NOT feel obligated to do so, to sometimes JUST LISTEN, to be able to let a conversation pass my ears and not have anything to say about it. Because ( MY) LACREASE words has power. I am a person with Integrity and Character and people seem to remember everyyyyyyyyyyything that I say. And a lot of what I say is misunderstood, and if I don’t know that it’s NOT CLEAR TO THAT PERSON, then I wont know to “fix it” I don’t have time to go back and correct all my conversations.
One day this lady bought some CD’s and when she got to her car, she couldn’t find them. So she came back into the store and accused me of giving them to the person who was behind her, because she can’t find them in her bags. I told the lady to go back out to the car and look one more time, she went off on me, saying she wasn’t going to do that, and that she knew that it wasn’t in there. So my manager comes over and tries to calm the lady down, this makes her even madder and at this point she’s going off on me. I’m getting pissed because I know those CD’s were in her bag because I walked around and put them in her cart. Then the store manager tries to calm her down, and at this point I’m really on fire. They tell her to go back and look in the car while they review the tape, make a long story short, the lady never returned. She FOUND THE CD’S. I’m upset, but I have customers so I have to be the Leader that I am, and take care of my business, I wasn’t that moved by her.
Later on that day I post on my FB, Thank God for the armor and prayer this morning for work, because this lady went off on me so bad. Didn’t I get to work the next morning, and the person who handled the case yesterday comes up to me and says: LaCrease that lady must have really bothered you yesterday, I read your post. I looked at her and GOD SAID DONT SAY A WORD…. I wanted to say, you missed the whole point of the post. The point of the post was that I PRAYED FIRST, I PUT ON THE ARMOR OF GOD.That prayer slowed down my anger. She was so focused on what happened that she missed that. But I did say, just because I smile everyday doesn’t mean things don’t bother me. I said I have bad days too, can I please have this 1% of complaint? I said now I would be wrong, If I complained to you the 99% of stories telling of how people get on my nerves. I said let me have my 1%! Whew……….
Then I go through the issue of knowing something and not saying anything about it. LOL A few days ago a friend was telling me something, and I knew about it, but I didn’t say anything I just listened, well just so happened the person who told me came and joined in, LOL and while I’m sitting there quiet, the person who told me said. Cree I shared this story with you……… and the person who was telling me said WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU KNEW? LOL I said because it was your story. LOL Had I said……. Oh such and such already shared it with me, then you probably would be looking crazy. Like how you know? LOL
So, yes this is where God has me at this time in my life. And you know God knows what’s best for me, he’s teaching me something, and the funny part is, ITS DAILY. Everyday I have to be quiet about something. LOL A person like me who is big on communication, this really shuts me DOWN!!!
In closing of this blog entry…… I will post this Scripture.
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.