Author: lacrease

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Today was a good day!!! :)

nell britt at targetHey 🙂

 

Today was a good day!!! I slept most of my School Vacation last week. LOL Now since school has started back… I’m not even sleepy even on 4-5 hour sleep nights. I bet you tonight though…. I’ll be in bed by 11:00. LOL

 

As I look around my apartment, I can’t help but think about Atlanta. I still want to live there, and I know its coming. Its really deep that since being back, me and my dad have gotten really close. I even moved him around the corner from me, so that if he needs me I can be there real quick. God has a way of helping you to heal of past hurts. Who knows what could have happened, if I was living in Atlanta and he died without me getting the PEACE I always wanted about him. And the funny thing is, my mom is laid back, she says her peace, and she’s done. You knew she mean business. But my dad is the one who is aggressive and strong minded. All 4 of us take after my dad. We are all STRONG MINDED…. they say I’m the worst, but I don’t think so. We all are. Guess what I’m really saying is, that’s probably why me and my dad didn’t get along because of that. But God is working it out.

 

My kids at school are something else. It takes a STRONG person to work with these kids today. Baby, if I didn’t work with them daily, nobody could tell me the things they say and do. What amazes me is that God equipped me to do this. If parents knew what their kids were doing, they would either be upset, or say “they do that at home”. I am also happy that I was placed in a school where the neighborhood has gangs and lots of issues with anger. These are the students I feel I can reach. I’m very firm, I can be cool, I’m easy to talk too, but at the same time…. I have to BOSS UP. The boys are way taller than me, and the gurls are BEAST these days. I dunno why this job challenges me. I love getting the “Leaders” of the group and breaking them down. I learned once you break that leader down….. you can get to her/his crew. There is one gurl who thinks she’s so tough. She was running her mouth to me today….. I gave her this one look, and told her in my low, “to the point ..direct eye contact voice “FALL BACK” , she knew I meant business. Can’t wait to see her tomorrow. She’s one of those loud gurls…. I use to be just like that. Talk loud, thinking I’m saying something and wasn’t doing anything. I think this is why I love this job, I see myself in many of the students. The boys are hard headed… BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I raised one daughter, but never a boy. But I have a stronger connection to them. These gurls are really different than back in the day. Boys they get over ” me fussing” with them and they hold no grudges… but them GALS….BAAAABY they will gang up on you, and you have to threatened to exclude them in order for them to calm down. But I love my job. I love kids…. Maybe I need to have one more. Who knows. LOL

 

I have been writing like crazy. I’m so proud of myself. I have really a lot of work done. I just hope people get it. I do. Speaking of “getting it”. This week I’m going to do a blog on Temptation Tyler’s movie…..some people are just not getting it. And it bothers me so bad, so I will do that this week. ALL OF YOU AND NONE OF ME LORD….. when I write that one!! Oh boy!

 

Alright off to bed. Know that God loves you, and always SHOW YOURSELF FRIENDLY 🙂
Cree

*photo my nieces Brittney and Ganell*

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TP Biggest Fan * great video footage*

creee.jpgOkay, I’m going to make this REAL QUICK!!! * in a hurry*

Everybody who knows me, KNOWS I love me some Tyler Perry!!! I love the messages and the lessons that he present in his movies, plays, and sitcoms. The day he was on Steve Harvey show, I missed it. Never knew it was coming on. Well the RESEARCHER I AM… *VIRGO IN ME* I FOUND IT!!!! FIRST I WANT YOU TO WATCH THE LEAD UP TO THE DAY OF THE TAPING FROM SONYA…. THEN WATCH THE ACTUAL DAY THAT SHE WAS ON THE SHOW…. AS TYLER PERRY’S BIGGEST FAN!!! I LOVE THIS… BECAUSE ONE DAY IM GOING TO MEET HIM. IM SO HAPPY FOR HER, BECAUSE I KNOW IM GOING TO FEEL THIS SAME WAY. SO ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL VIDEO SHE PUT TOGETHER.

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Relationship *MATH* by Nelly * love this* TRUTH

LOVE LOVE LOVERapper Nelly sat for a candid interview where he revealed if he ever plans to marry and why industry relationships often fail.

Now that we’ve watched his longterm relationship with Ashanti fizzle out, and seen him spark up something new with actress Tae Heckard, rapper Nelly gave a surprisingly candid interview about his thoughts on marriage and relationship (which might explain the backstory to of the Ashanti breakup).

He says he does want to get married one day, but no one will pressure him into it. Also, he gave an interesting perspective on industry relationships saying you can’t compare them to “normal” couples. He says you can’t compare a relationship between to non-celebrities who’ve been dating for seven years, to that of a celebrity couple who’s been dating for the same amount of time. He explained that if you factor in all the travel and time spent away from home, the celebrity couple might have only spent three years together. It’s a different kind of math. Here are the highlights:

On industry relationships:

I think people see the relationships that industry folk have and they see the time, but there’re not doing the math. If you do the math on that time, you’ll see that it equals out to something totally different.

On public perception of his relationships:

I shy away from public perceptions about my relationships. You can’t tell me what I should be doing in my relationship. I’m not home everyday. I haven’t seen her in two weeks. You see so many celebrities get married and then they’re divorced in a year. You know why? It’s because when they get finally get together….the -ish that you thought was cute, becomes annoying.

On if he will ever get married:

Yea I think so. But nobody is going to force me. Nobody is going to rush me into anything. Marriage is something you should do when you are ready to do it and you know this is everything. I take marriage very seriously. And I only know two ways of marriage. My parents’ marriage didn’t last at all and my grandparents’ marriage lasted 60 years. I’m either gonna go all the way to 60, or I’m not gonna do it.

On being faithful:

I know me. If I have any questions, I’m going to play on that and eventually that may weigh in on the situation.

On if he’s ever been close to marriage:

I don’t think you’ve been close until you’ve been engaged. (He’s never been engaged).

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My lovely weekend!!!

homeboy<~~~ How Im feeling today. LOL

Wow what a wonderful weekend I had.

 

 

Anytime I’m with my Sisters, my mom and my friends I’m always happy. Just being in the presence of these women makes me smile. I want to Thank my Sister Yolanda, Charlene, Gloria G, Gloria W, Tanisha, her daughter, and her friend, Lanice, Ms. Sweety, Darcella, Vikki, Shann, My mom, Tyra, Tammy and myself makes 16. We ALL met up at the movies at 2:30 to see Tyler Perry’s TEMPTATION confessions of a marriage counselor. My second FAVORITE MOVIE FROM HIM!!!And yes…. it was jammed packed!!! Then afterwards we went down the street to Apple bees had dinner over discussion. We had a good time. I love when women get together and have different ways of looking at the same movie… sometimes I’m like huh? How did you come to that? LOL There is one thing, that we couldn’t agree on. I wont say it yet, in case some of you haven’t seen it yet. But let me say this…. please go and see this with your husbands, and wives, this movie will have you thinking, and make you realize what you have. I’m such a message person, I can get a message out of a dog waiting on his master to cross the street. LOL This movie will make you look at life differently.

Today is one of those days where I’m feeling……”some kinda way”. Can’t explain how I’m feeling. So my friend started his new job today. I won’t be seeing him anymore. I think its best, why waste time with a man when you know what he wants, and you have no plans to give it to him? He called me several times… I didn’t answer the phone. I’m done with that chapter…

I GUESS YOU KNOW….. today I was taking a nap on the couch, when I heard this loud burst of wind and people talking like they were in the next room. I just laid under the cover *to lazy to turn on some heat*, but then the noise seemed closer. So, I came from under the cover and there my door was CRACKED WIDE ENOUGH for me to see a guy who works in the building sweeping. We know each other and so after I realize it was him. I SCREAMED “HOW DID MY DOOR GET OPEN”? CLOSE MY DOOR!!!! CLOSE MY DOOOOOOOR!!! Poor guy, he said okay…. I’ll close it, but I don’t know how it got open either.

Before I could snap completely out of my sleep, I realize that it was him *someone who likes me*, he was wondering too how did my door get open. Then I remembered that I was about to take my trash to the compactor but it was someone in the hall and my night dress was short, so I came back in and “thought” I closed the door good. Then at some point I decided to take a nap before I leave out at 4:30, realizing that I didn’t close it all the way. I guess this is the part that has me WEIRD all day.

After he closed the door… I went right into a dream, where I was coming out of the shower… naked… and there he was. He threw me to my floor and raped me. Aint that something, he was saying you’re going to learn to stop telling men who like you, that you are celibate. I was so shocked. I woke up after so long into the dream and felt weird all day. I did text him and tell him that I was sorry for screaming, he understood. But now when I see him working in the building…. I KNOW IM GOING TO FEEL WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDD as I look and talk to him. So, I guess the lesson in that dream is to be careful what I share.

Well, on my way to take a bath, and yes the door is locked. LOL Going to read my bible and lay on the couch afterwards. I’m enjoying these days off.

Be Blessed!!!

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Temptation *stay away from places that will tempt you*

temptation_feat_02-02-57-07_crSo, Tyler Perry movie will be out tomorrow night. I’m there!!! This is the PERFECT movie for ME at this time in my life. * GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE*… THIS WEEKEND!!!

 

As I’ve shared before…..I met this guy who I’m really crazy about, haven’t liked a guy like this in years. It takes a special man to get my attention, and he was the one. He’s honest and up front, and that’s what I LOVE most about him. He told me some really deep things yesterday, that I respect. These are situations that was there before me. This also play apart of me knowing that he is NOT the one for me. Even though we talk a lot, I do not plan to see him anymore in a way that we had before.

 

At my age 45, I refuse to continue to be in someone’s life when I know they are NOT for me. I’m just waiting for the one God has for me. I have never been the type of woman to have a man for the sake of “having a man”. I want to look at him and admire him. His eyes, his lips, his smile, his facial expression, his kindness, his tone of voice, his touch, his SMELL, his kiss…. even the way he wears his hair, and facial hair. They say VIRGOS LOVE hard…. I find this to be true when we’re with people whom we truly love and admire. I can never just “pass” out my LOVE.

 

What I learned is… its okay to move on from my him. When he revealed some very important information to me, I knew he was in my life for a season. Even though he’s trying to stay in my picture, he can’t. I LOVED how I felt when I was around him. How he looked at me, how he kissed me, how he touched me. He says I’m ghetto, when I’m expressing myself because of how expressive I am, and I say “he be saying his stuff” too, because he geeks people up and then brags on himself. So funny!!! We had so much fun laughing and acting silly! I haven’t invited him into my apartment, because I don’t want to put myself in a atmosphere where I would be TEMPTED into having sex. This is so important for women to know and UNDERSTAND. I know its hard, but if you can’t see yourself marrying this man, there is no reason to give him your loving. I’m sorry. So many women are just giving themselves away, so when someone like me come along, men expect for me to be just like the others. No, no, no. I want to always be different than the other women, when a man meets me. Always!  I’ve never been to his place either. I wish I was this strong in my late 20’s. I know what I want, and who I want now that I’m in my 40’s.

I’m going to miss my friend…. I have to move on. We’re on two different pages. But he’ll  always be in my heart.

 

Be Blessed

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One of my favorite Students * I love kids*

1216855446-hr-1382Today was a silent day. My BFF can always tell when something is going on with me. Sometimes it makes me sick.(LOL) I get quiet and she knows it. More on that in my next blog entry.

I knew that when I went to work this morning the students would make me feel better. Its a trip that I prayed for a gurl when Nesha was born. I’m finding out that my bond is closer with the boys. They don’t have attitudes, they play too much, and will try you, but for the most part…. I think I’ve been sleeping on them.

I have never in my life seen so many gurls with attitudes… for NO reason. But I study them, I found out that gurls go through a lot. We are very emotional, and we think about stuff way too much. Boys let it go through their minds and its over. Imma have to talk to GOD about that. LOL Here I am still thinking about an email almost a week ago, and the person who sent it, probably aint thought no more about it. LOL Its funny, but its not. I need to find out why we’re like this.

I remember being 14 and thinking about boys all day long. I couldn’t sleep too busy thinking about boys. And trust me, they do the same thing, as soon as the bell ring, they are somewhere looking for their gurlfriends and HER friends to play in the hall way. I’m learning with kids though, that they are doing exactly what they’re suppose to do…. PLAY and learn from their experiences.

This one boy, he’s just like me…. let people get under his skin. I’m better with it because I’m older and have more experience with dealing. I see myself in him so much its crazy. What amazes me is that people LOOK for opportunities to get under our skin. Seems as if they wake up to find people *like us* to irritate. But as soon as we SNAP….THEY’RE DONE WITH US!!! And you know what’s a trip? I have been in SO many situations where I’d find myself in, and I have to end up praying myself out of TURNING INTO THE INCREDIBLE HULK! I was standing in line one day, and the lady at the register was taking so long, with decided which things she wanted, she was with her friend who was so embarrassed, she left and went to sit in the car. This lady took so long, didn’t care about how long the line was. I was seconds from turning into the HULK. And when I get like this * not too often* I have to walk around in my little square, and think about PEACEFUL things like……. Flowers.. roses, water, rain, trees, clouds, God/Jesus, bathtub, rivers, and grass to keep me from turning into a green monster. My legs get to moving side to side, and my eyes probably turn GOLD. LOL I get hot, and if my mind wander from those things I name…. I can feel the ROAR in me when the HULK wants to rise. The best thing is…. I can hear God so clearly saying, Lacrease you can do it, just be calm, stay focus, don’t embarrass me, relax, its okay. So, I know what this boy is going through. He doesn’t know how to find a medium in how to react. I told him today…. its still a struggle for me… and I’m 46. He was shocked when I told him I still struggle. He’s a serious person just like me, and the people who love to play, love to get an reaction out of us, will be the ones to push our buttons. We had a good long talk today. I think he’s one of my favorites. 🙂

What hurts me the most is seeing those young gurls who are going through something. This one gurl walks the hall so slow, and with something heavy on her heart. I can tell when she looks at me that something is going on with her at home. I can feel it. I went to her and introduced myself and said to her… if you ever want to talk to me, you can.. my name is Ms. Walker and what ever we talk about is between me and you. I saw her today and my heart smiled. There is so much molestation and rape going on with these kids… it pisses me off. I know the spirit. Then some come to school and be as tough as they wanna be, then there are those who suffer in silence…. gotta leave this topic alone.:(

Next week is Spring Break… YES!!!! I’m going to the movies this weekend with my friends, and next week… I will be writing and catching up on personal things.

Be Blessed!

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LOVE *deep love*

LOVE….

So, my new friend will be gone soon. We talked for a very long time last night, and he made it clear that he wants to be in my life. But we are not on the same page in many areas. That’s important to me. And its okay…. I hate for people to try to make a size 8 work on an 11 feet. This lady who I use to work with use to always say…. “don’t worry about the person who you’ve met not being the ONE, that means the person who is for you is STILL OUT THERE.” You have to turn loose this one, in order to get to HIM. Wow, I so get that!!!

LOVE 2

On a LOVE note….

My heart is open to LOVE. When you LOVE someone DEEP, its funny how the person whom you LOVE will know even if you don’t say a word. I LOVE that. I’m so personal and private…. I wont admit it to the person, but he would know. Unless we are face to face and I can see his facial expression. LOVE is something you just can’t help. Yes…. you are right!! And there is nothing you can do about it!!!

On my way to bed…. lots to think about tonight. I hate when someone comes BACK into your life, and mix your head up… LOL LOL Why do I keep allowing this? L O V E

good night

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I’m sad :(

god has a reasonI had a wonderful day at work today. When I came home from Georgia, I didn’t want to go back to Walmart. Seems like no one understood that. Yes, I was making GOOD MONEY there, and I’m good friends with all the managers, several are on my FB page. I just didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to be bothered with grown folks anymore. I wanted to work at a School with TEENS. I prayed, and prayed,, and prayed and prayed. As time went on, I was getting desperate and needed to work. But all my needs were being met and MORE. SO, it allowed me to hold off on making a decision to go back there. I’m so glad I waited on God. After being fingerprinted by the FBI, I am now working where I want…with Students at a High School….. I LOVE THEM!!! I have many stories to share later on this weekend. LOL

 

I’m looking forward to seeing them tomorrow because TONIGHT…. I’m sad. 😦

 

My friend * guy I like* called me tonight and told me that he got the job at the airport that he’s been waiting for. I’m so sad right now because he works a first job 7-3, and this job will be his afternoon job, so that means I won’t see him anymore after March. He says he’ll come to visit, but I know him, after working 16 hours a day, on his day off he’s going to want to sleep and be with his family. I can’t even cry, it hurts so bad.

 

I’m happy for him, because I know how he feels about this position. But dang…. Here comes this guy that I really like and he’s going to be gone from my life. He lives almost an hour away from me in the first place. This is going to be really hard for me. I’ll see him all weekend here at my job, could be therapy, or it could be tears 😦

 

But I have to be honest here. One day I walked up on him as he was reading the Bible. He looked up and said Hey! I asked what was he reading, he told me, then said…. I’ve been thinking about you. He said GOD told me something/several things ABOUT YOU… after he told me it blew my mind. All I could do is stare at him, caught me totally off guard. After that I went back to my apartment because I had to think alone about what he said.

 

I was sitting in the bathtub, and he called me. He said Lacrease are you mad at me, are you okay? Because I left so abruptly. I said yeah… I’m good. I said what you told me just blew me away. It was then while in the bathtub is when I realized AND KNEW FOR A FACT, that he was only in my life for a season and a reason. God knew it would take for someone I REALLY LIKE to come into my life and tell me what he told me. I knew THEN that eventually he would be leaving my life. I knew it. I knew it. Now that time is here. He was only in my life to share that, and I had to hear it from someone who I liked. I made him feel like everything is fine, and he never brought it up again.

 

My heart is broken AGAIN this week!* I’m a strong woman……I’ll be fine.*

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Temptation…*don’t do it Cree*

CHARSRINGToday was a great day. A day of PEACE in my apartment. I won’t see my boo anymore until Friday, which gives me time to write, and decide what I’m going to do with our friendship. If I decide to part ways with him, its going to be really sad for me because I enjoy being around him, he makes me laugh. I guess the reason why this is on my mind so tuff is because its hard for me to like someone. He is the first person that I’ve liked in years. I meet a lot of men, but either I’m not attracted to them, like they are to me, maybe its the baggage or the lifestyle.I dunno.

 

I met this guy about 2 weeks ago. I was standing in line at a gas station. When this guy walked in….. LOL He opened the door  and looked at me like I was his wife. I smiled at him because he was good looking, had personality like myself, tall dark, handsome. He could NOT stop looking at me, it made me laugh in my mind because I know how I feel when someone catch my eye, I can’t stop staring, and I can STARE. He said to me, hey pretty when you finish come back here and keep me company while I heat up my food. I looked at him like…… heat your food up. He kept talking to me while I was in line, so after I finished paying for my gas, he made sure I came back to the microwave. He’s a truck driver and he stops there at his favorite gas station to heat up his lunch. We talked and laugh, I LOVE TO TALK JUNK * not sexual* we were going back and forth. So, I hand him my phone number, as I gave it to him, I looked down and spotted his WEDDING RING! I said “you’re married?” I said um um I can’t talk to you? He said “we can just be friends!” You know men love to run that line. It was so hard, but I turned around and walked towards the door. He said No, please, SO YOURE TELLING ME I WONT EVER SEE YOU AGAIN? I said YES… you have someone, I’m not going to get to know you, while you’re married!!!!!! He was sick when I walked out of the door. It was hard too. My mom was in the truck, so as I pumped the gas, I couldn’t stop laughing in my mind, and how he kept saying…. “So I won’t ever see you again”? I said NOPE!!!

 

No sooner than I got in the truck,PUMPED MY GAS, he came out of no where, and said wait wait… He opened my car door and I looked at him like……. ARE YOU SERIOUS? He said hi moms, talking to my mother, he said I’m going to call you, saying lets be friends. He called, and when he told me who his wife was I WAS TRIPPING, She’s the daughter of a FAMOUS FAMOUS GOSPEL SINGER. That was our last conversation. I told him, we aren’t even going to get to know each other AT ALL PERIOD. I’m glad that he got the hint, and if he ever called again I wouldn’t answer my phone. Temptation is deep!!!

 

He claim he just wanted to talk and be friends.But that’s how cheating starts right? Being friends!! I would be so offended if my HUSBAND was going around meeting NEW WOMEN but at the same time attracted to her. That’s opening the door to cheating…and all types of sin. I’m NOT doing that. I know what I want. I know what I’m looking for in a man, and I’m not spending ANY of my singleness with MARRIED MEN. I don’t waste my time like that.

 

Women do the same thing!!

In other news……I’m excited about seeing TYLER PERRY’S MOVIE TEMPTATION NEXT WEEKEND! ME AND MY GURLS ARE DOING IT BIG AS WE SHUT DOWN THE MJR VANDYKE. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE me some TYLER PERRY! SO, we will support him next weekend. If you are reading this…. DO THE SAME!

 

Cree

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LOVE AND MARRIAGE

handsonhatcreeTonight is one of those nights where my mind takes me back to some of the things that God told me in the past. Things that I never understood and never really thought about. But lately I’m starting to wonder about something’s. I HATE opening up new scenarios. But I guess sometime you have too. I don’t have the time …..N E way. I sent a special prayer up and I’m going to sit back and see what happens.

I’m special just like he told me.

 

Tonight I was with my friend. I really enjoy his company, but its starting to be a problem…. I can tell. Why can’t he just enjoy my company? I’m not giving my 12-13 years up of celibacy. I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE! See that’s the problem with most men today, they feel like if they like someone, they’re suppose to sleep with them. It don’t work that way with me. Its bad for gurls like me, who truly want LOVE and MARRIAGE…when all you meet is men who have been spoiled by women… especially those with low self-esteem. I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE…. I love me. And no matter what I DONT SAY.. trust me I know. I already know that I’m different, I don’t do things according to how the world does it when it comes to my body, and my mind. Just because I’m nice and approachable….. I will “tear that azz up”. Then when I do that….they say I’m “RUDE”.

 

I know this guy isn’t for me. But I really enjoying seeing him, BEING AROUND HIM, and talking to him. I just feel bad that he looks at me in a way, and in my mind I know he will NEVER have me. I’m thinking about going my own way…. its hard for him to be around me, and I understand. Now I’m asking… God where is MY HUSBAND?

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