Yesterday I started writing the blog entry * Just talking to myself* when the phone rang. When I answered , I knew that Ill be on it for a minute, so I left the scripture and decided to call it a night to watch a movie with Neisha. I really had more to say, so hopefully I can remember it all.
There\’s this guy who really likes me. I really think he just wants to sleep with me. Like I told him, boo you got me messed up. For one you have a gurlfriend, she\’s pregnant, and #3 I\’m not looking for SEX, which is the easiest thing in the world to get. And for 4, I have 2 coworkers who live in the same Townhouse complex you live in, and they have told me the scoop on you.Then when he came through my line, I confronted him about the gurl he was in the store with, he says she was just somebody I met. I said then why are you ova here? Why the heck do he keep bugging me? Its been over a year and he still haven\’t gotten to first base with me…….. No means No!!!. Now when I pull out the *Virgo* in me, he\’s gonna wish he had never met me. I\’m not even going to cuss, I\’m just going to lay him out verbally!!! When I look up and see his *begging* looking face staring at me while I work, it irritates the heck out of me. I just wanna scream UGHHHHHHHH……. GET OUT THIS STORE!!
When I was a young gurl, I would lose something, and for the life of me I couldn\’t find it anywhere. So I use to pray and say God please help me find * such and such* I really need it, you are magic, you can just make it appear. Please God. I would most times end up crying because I wanted to find it so badly. As I got older I realized that the fun part in finding something is: that if you keep looking you will find what you-re looking for. Had God said * oh here it is Lacrease* I wouldn\’t be able to appreciate the things that were lost.When I lose something and find it I rejoice. I\’m happy. I\’m so Thankful. I Thank God for making it possible. That\’s a part of him teaching us. He doesn\’t want us to give up, he wants us to know that we got to keep on praying, keep on having Faith, keep on going. One of my favorite scriptures is:
The Parable of the Lost Coin
8\”Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins[a] and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, \’Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.\’ 10In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.\” Luke 15 (New International Version)
There comes a time in your life when you look at yourself and you wonder why things are not happening for you. You have to wonder what part am I playing that\’s sabotaging my own self and success. At some point you stop to examine yourself and you say Lord, how can I work on me? What am I doing wrong, what do I need to do, what do I need to practice, what do I need to see, what do I need to learn? You just can\’t get up every morning with the same foul breath, you have to at one point say, I need to brush my teeth.
When I say that, I\’m referring to a coworker of mines whose last day working as a cashier at my store was yesterday. She was hit by a car years ago and till this day she wants to hold on to that. She said the reason why she\’s leaving Michigan and going back to Virginia was because the people here don\’t *understand* what she\’s been through. I said to her…… Rena, you got hit by a car 10 years ago, why would you want to hold on to something like that, when you are healed!!! You\’re okay! Things are going good for you. She got mad at me!!!!! I swear I saw fire shoot from her nose. I believe that God heals, and since I live on that, I\’m not going to sit and pacifier her accident. That goes for anybody!!! I have no comment, umbrella\’s, blankets, or pampers for* woe is me people*. I believe in praying and getting over what ever it is you\’re going through. Some take longer than others, that\’s fair.I understand that. In the meantime while youre going through, don\’t throw it up in people\’s face. That\’s not right to make others feel bad because of what you are going through that\’s not cool with me. I have a real big problem with that. I use to come in to work, make my rounds to speak to everyone, and ask Rena, how are you doing today. She\’ll say *not to well*. I would stay there and talk to her, and no matter what I say to her, it didn\’t help. The next day, I would do the same thing, Rena……. whats wrong boo, why you looking like that? Then she\’ll say * my leg hurt, or my head hurt, or my throat bothering me. This went on for months, before I realized that nothing is never right with her. So I stopped asking her.
She knew she was leaving this city, but no one else knew that\’s the reason why she started picking on folks. She made me so mad one day, that I told her that I be glad when she leave, and that hopefully the next time I see her would be on Judgment Day!!! What made me mad was, I was ringing up a customer, and my manager came over to talk to me about something, and then here she comes whispering, trying to get me upset. I knew what she was doing. I knew it because God told me that same day, that Rena is going to try to stir up trouble because its her last days and she wants to go out with a bang.I tried to ignor her, especially since I was with a customer, but she on at me. Then she repeated*** I see you quiet down here, you aint with your gurls*** that was the straw, cause see she was being funny. My manager heard the whole thing. You don\’t do people like that just because you feel its your chance to get revenge on folks who you feel * didn\’t baby you because you had a car accident 90 years ago*. You ain\’t finna talk to me *credog* any kinda way. Yeah whateva! So after I lit into real good. Later on she called me to her register and apologized to me, and ask me for a hug. I was shocked. Me being friendly said ahhhhhhh okay Rena, lets be cool, and don\’t do me like that anymore okay? She said okay. Didn\’t 2 days ago, we fell out again!!! I said gurl, you know what? I cant mess with you, goodbye, see ya later, Thank you JESUSSSSSSS you\’re leaving. I said you act like you hate me. I said do I gossip about anyone? She said no. I said do I talk about people? She said no. I said then what is it about me that you don\’t like? She said you don\’t understand my condition. I said GURL AINT NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! I said to myself, aint nobody gon walk around here and feed you Oreo cookies and milk just because you had an accident umpteen years ago!!! I\’M JUST NOT GON DO THAT BOO. HELL TO THE *WHITNEY HOUSTON* NAW!!! And when she left yesterday * thank you Lord*, I didn\’t look her way. Some people have to be just left alone. That\’s what I did……left her alone and let her leave peacefully.
People, don\’t expect others to do cart wheels for you. At some point you need to move
on. Don\’t make family members and friends pay for anything, by keep on bringing it up. People get tired of that. There is a GOD, that specialize in handling those types of issues. PEOPLE CANT DO THAT!!! I CANT HANDLE MY OWN ISSUES, I AINT GONNA LET NOOOOOOBODY PUT THERE ISSUES ON ME. NOOOOO WAY. Take it to God. Let him do it, he made you.
Cree
Inside the mind of cree 
