if you have forgiven her…..lets see. Cree’s Blog Entry
My best times to talk to God is when I lay on my couch with the TV off and the light is dimmed. I look up to my ceiling and talk his ears off. LOL
One day last week, I was having one of those talks and I started looking back on my life and seeing how it relates to me today. And what God showed me…..tells a lot about who I am today. I didn’t understand how no matter what people do to me, I still LOVED them. I’ll explain more later.
I grew up in the home with both my parents, even though me and my dad didn’t get alone well as I got in my teens, he is a man who LOVES his family. We were told I LOVE YOU all day everyday. We got hugs…just because. We use to go out to dinner every Friday when my dad got paid. We got allowances, we would go for rides every weekend. When me and my siblings (4 of us) got into arguments we had to make up on the spot….which was kiss and hug. We were NEVER allowed to fight….if we got caught it was TROUBLE!!! As we got into our teens, we were very popular in the neighborhood. Everybody use to come and sit on our porch all day and all night. We still have those SAME FRIENDS to this day.
As I started dating, the guys I ATTRACTED use to make me mad and jealous. I was very jealous growing up and when they made me mad, I would say things like ” I hate you, I hope you die”. I was a very angry teen, which later turned into my early 20’s. I was so mean that my MOM use to PRAY for me day in and day out. I was so mean to my boyfriends, that my parents didn’t know what to do for me. Once I moved out at 22, my mom PRAYED harder that God would change my attitude. She said that she didn’t want anyone to “Kill” me with the anger I was carrying. Little did she know…that GOD was about to deal with me ONE ON ONE.
I went through a lot with people being jealous of me, of my relationship with my siblings, and for having both families in the home, where I had complete total access to both of my parents. The way I lived, and how friendly I was, without it ever being a story of me hurting anyone. I was and still is a good friend. When I found out that my daughter’s dad was sleeping with my friend who lived in a downstairs flat ….. IT ROCKED MY WHOLE WORLD. I never in my life felt a betrayal and devastation like that in my life. OH God…. that pain is deep in my heart….. I couldn’t even cry. I terrorized her every chance I got, and I cut him off from the HEAD!!! After so many months of preying on them, they finally stopped seeing each other. I hated him and hated her.
One day, I said Lord, I cant hold this in my heart any longer….its taking over my thoughts and my life. Then…..she knocked on my door and told me that she was moving out of town. I SAID YESSSS!!! I was so happy, she wanted to make amends and leave with peace. Our friendship was over as far as I was concerned, but I was too happy she was leaving town to marry her kids dad. Good BYE!!! After a year or more of her being gone. I remember clear as day, God asked me while I was washing dishes……have you forgiven her? I said Yes!!! She moved years ago, I don’t have to see her anymore….. I said Yes, God I have. He said alright….we’ll see. Never knew what it meant by that.
Soon after that day God asked me that question…… She got my number from her mom and she called me saying this…… I have spoken to our Landlord, and I’m moving back downstairs. I was devastated again. I said God how could you let her move back into this same house? How could you let her come back to Detroit? I told him that I didn’t ever want to see her again, and that I had forgiven her. I was done with her in my mind, I had never planned to see her again… she did me wrong.
He said if you have forgiven her…..lets see.
Part 2 tomorrow.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Cree’s Blog…….God-given gifts
I went back to work today since being off March 12, I had a great time in Atlanta with Neisha, but I was also so happy to see my co-workers. I LOVE my co-workers, I have never had a problem with anyone, and that’s what make my job that much easier. If I can get past the customers then I’m GOOD 🙂 LOL They were so HAPPY to see me, giving me lots of hugs and welcome backs……that just made my day. I hate attention…. but when I walked into the building LOVE WAS BEFORE ME…..and it made me feel so good. I just LOVE my Boss, we had a lot to talk about, she’s a Christian too, and we speak God’s language. She was happy to see me. My other Boss is also good people, and every month about 6-7 of us get together and go to a different restaurant to chat and have dinner, well at our last meeting, they all decided to wait until I got back from Georgia to have our gurls day.((((hugs to them))))) So tomorrow we’re going to dinner about 5 pm in Downtown Detroit. I’m excited to be with them again.
This is what I LOVE about my Bosses…… we can go to dinner, go out of town, go to a Barbecue, go out to a gathering, and still the NEXT DAY AT WORK….there is NO favoritism. My Bosses will still put me/us on a register that we don’t like LOL LOL LOL ….. AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT THEM…. At work its BUSINESS, and outside of work…. its play. My Bosses keep it real, 100% ALL OF THE TIME…. I’m older than them all, and I still call them Ms.( name).
Earlier today I was just sitting here thinking about how my Raisingurls from the first Season are doing. I see many of them and they have graduated from High School, in College and a few have children now. They still call me for advice, and today my niece came over, she has a job now, and she was telling me that my group has helped her out so much as far as working with the public, her attitude, and how to be a young lady at all times. She gave me a big hug and it really touched me. Sometimes I felt it went in one ear and out of another * while in the sessions*, but today she could have told me everything I said. It amazed me how much she remembered and how she uses those tools I taught in her life today. When I was in Atlanta looking at apartments, the school bus came up in the gated community and dropped the children off, and when I saw all of those kids getting off the bus, I was saying to Neisha ….. ALL OF THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO KNOW ME!!! LOL LOL My eyes lit up like a Christmas Tree. I was so happy to see that kids live in the community. I love kids, and I have even thought about adopting 1 or 2 of them. When I was there, I went to see The Covenant house of Georgia and took photos. I hope to work there someday, or even 2 other Foundations… as long as I’m working with kids. Out of all the things I can do or learn to do in this life, especially with my personality…. God has called me to do this work . This is my calling. I am reading this book, and this is what it says: God-given gifts are the skills a person performs without formal training. Although training and education may help to perfect our skills, they are readily recognized prior to the training.
When I get to Atlanta…..there is NO stopping me….
Cree
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
How Im dealing with Anger….Cree’s Blog Entry!
Hey,
I know I have been missing…. LOL Just doing some Soul Searching ya know? I decided that I wasn’t going to “do too much” that I was going to buy me some sticky posts and go back to writing simple notes and tag them around my computer monitor to remind me of what’s important.
Right now I have 10 notes, and 5 of them says…. “Stop trying to take on everybody”… “Call Sherry Friday after 7”, “God, Me, Family and Friends”, “My credit score is….” and the other is my work schedule for the week”. I realized that I try to do too much. My mind is cloudy, I don’t sleep much, I’m working, doing this, and planning that. So, I decided that God was important, Myself, then family and friends. And I like this. I get to come home from work, and see that I’m not all over the place. I’m the kinda gurl that if I write something down, plan a date, or pick up the phone and make plans……its a done deal. I have to visualize it, and then write it down.
One day last week, me and Neisha were on our way home. We were entering the freeway, when this truck/bus didn’t get over OR speed up so that we can merge properly. Oh, I was heated and on fire. Then Neisha ( my daughter) said to me…..”Ma you gotta stop trying to take on everybody”. She said you cant beat everybody. I’m like WOW….that really, I mean really made a light bulb go off in my head.Her words hit me hard!!! She was right!!!! I do try to take on everybody!!! Wow! And in my mind….. I’m not trying to beat everybody, I just want them to know that they’ve just offended me. I have to blow my horn, or If I’m at work and I say… “this is 20 items or less and you have over 50, and its not fair to the people behind you”. Then if they say ( and they usually will ), well, I’m a customer too, and since I’m already in line, I’m not moving, they’re just gonna have to wait. That right there…………gets my blood boiling. Right there in that moment, my leg starts jumping, and I get this feeling inside, and I have to say “Lord, please come down here and help me”. In my mind, I want to knock everything off the counter, and say ” not by these hands you wont get rung up”. I get down right mad…. again… because I’m angry and feel offended. You’re showing me that you don’t care about others. I’m personally offended by that. In my mind…. I’m asking… how could you look back at this line ( and yes, they are looking at you), and say F*** Yall to these people? Really? Is it really all about you……then since I’m the cashier, I feel you personally made me apart of THE BS. Because I have to ring you up.
Soooooo, when Neisha told me this, it really was a AHA Moment. But still I didn’t know where this anger had come from.
The very next day, I was reading some Tweets and noticed that this one person is always tweeting and talking down on this ONE person. It made me so angry, I made up a fake twitter account and NUTTED UP on them. Each time I sent out a Tweet, it was like “Pepsi to the head”…..FANTASIC feeling. This person didn’t know who I was, and it made it easier for me to go off . Then, it became “time consuming” to keep up with this person. I was way out of character, and it was taking a lot of energy from me, and even though it felt good in the beginning, I didn’t like it anymore. So, after 3 days I deleted the account and asked God….what drives me to “take on everybody”? I begged God to please help me!!! Its killing me to be angry with someone everyday, just because they have “offended” me. I’ve always been a person that does my own thing. But when people gossip, lie, be fake, don’t care about the next persons feelings, think about themselves, be selfish, mean, THAT BOTHERS ME TO NO END. And I don’t know how to control myself.
I said Lord, I cant keep going through this, I want to stop it before it gets way out of hand. God knows that when I need a word from him, I will get some place, sit down and listen for him to speak to me.
He finally did…. Coming up in the next blog entry! You dont want to miss this breakthru!
Investigated…..Cree’s Blog
.
…Thanking God for the Blessing to Bless others, Thanking him for supplying all of my needs. I’m just Blessed and I see it, I recognize it, I’m living it, and I appreciate it and I’m truly grateful. Thank you Jesus for loving me. My mommie gave me so many kisses and hugs for always taking care of her she said to me yesterday. She had surgery and has been off work for a couple of months. I love taking care of her, because she has always taken care of me. I would do anything for her, all she has to do is let me know. I take her for rides ( I love to drive), I take her to my aunts to visit her, to her appointments, and to her job, to take care of her personal business. She is a wonderful woman of God who loves others and especially her family.
Thanking God for more lessons that has been learned. I can blog about it now because the “investigation” on me has been done.
I was called into the office last week, and asked about someone using my discount card. The day after my BD I went to our other store instead of my store to shop. I bought all of my personal needs on my bill, which came up to $239.12…. before using my discount card. Then my daughter spent $73.06 for her items….before using my discount card ( because she’s in school and I claim her) Then I bought my food items which came to $47.26…. before using my discount card. I’m very friendly so I was talking and talking and talking to the cashier about everything. He was a young white guy, very friendly. I guess he felt I was being friendly so that I could throw him off from focusing on seeing that my daughter was using my discount card. Little did he know that she’s eligible to use it.
On Monday of this week, I was called into the office and asked did I do some shopping at the other store. It caught me totally off guard, there was also another manager in there, and they were waiting for me to respond. My mouth became dry, and when she reached for my badge, I was like wait a minute……. let me think. I remembered that me, my mom and neisha were at the check out counter, I then was asked, who is the person who used the debit card? I couldn’t think for the life of me. LOL I’m like shoo I dunno, that was the week before. I was told that the cashier noticed that I let a gurl use my card, and they wanted to know who she was. Just then I remember that it was Neisha. I swiped the discount card myself, because personal I don’t like anyone to swipe it but me. My mom didn’t buy anything, so it was me and Neisha who use it. OnceI remembered……I let lose. I said… “No one used my card that was my daughter, she knew that I was telling the truth”…. “she gave” my badge back to me, and told me that they would review the tape to see more. I’m pissed about it, how the whole thing went down, but at the same time its like……go and find out what happened, you shouldn’t have came to me with this anyway if you haven’t done a full investigation on me!!! I LEFT the office, and went home in a daze and crazy headache. I don’t like trouble, I don’t drama, and this investigation was going to linger I knew.
I went home gathered up all 3 of my receipts and whenever you use a debit card or credit card, the last 4 digits will appear on the receipt. The very next day I went to work and produced all 3 receipts, and my daughter’s debit card proving her name on the card and proving the last 4 digits matching the receipt. But the person I needed to see didn’t come in until today 9/17/11.
This morning, I went straight to her, she likes to prolong business, and will have you waiting till its time for you to punch out for the day. Not today I wasn’t hardly going to play that game. Before I even went to my post, I went to her and said….Lets Talk! She already knew how serious I was, and I wasnt about to let another day, or mintue, pass without having this discussion. She had the case ready for me as she investigated, and had the taped reviewed. I, on the other hand had my receipts, W-2 form, and the debit card in question. She started off saying…..there were 3 transactions. I said yes it was…. and here they are. I said look at the times so that you can see which transaction was first , and match up the dates. I said I rung up first….she said yesssssss. I was on camera first, ( which told me she knew more today, than she knew the day she confronted me about it) . Then she asked who used the debit card, this person was second, and this is the person in question. I said my daughter, and here is her debit card WITH HER NAME ON IT, ending in the last 4 digits on the receipt. Then she says……who is the older lady that was with you. I said my mom….SHE DIDNT PURCHASE ANYTHING….. ( in other words……DONT EVEN MENTION HER AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! PERIOD!!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!! After a few minutes of looking at the receipts, she said alright….and that was it.
People make sure you keep all of your receipts, or anything that you will need to prove that you own something, that you purchased something, that you received something. I don’t care if it seems as if you don’t need to keep it, KEEP IT!!! Always have your proof, just in case you need to declare. When you’re being investigated, don’t try to see what they know, let them ask you questions. Don’t go off volunteering information, let the question be asked, use less words as possible when answering. If they have cameras……let them use it. Then answer questions based off what is there….and what you are asked. Don’t explain anything….let them pull teeth with no medication.
Another reason, why I was kinda mad at myself is because when we first walked up to the register…Neisha turned to me and said out of the blue…Ma.. lets just pay for our order and leave, don’t be talking to the cashier like you always do. Don’t be so friendly all the time. And what I do, soon as we get to the register, I start talking, and blah blah blah…
A lesson learned…… And that’s one thing that I love about myself…. I can fall back…..and all the way back. I’m about to be straight up business minded. No more talking, no more being friendly ( in that way…please don’t take this the wrong way). I’m always meeting people, and they always run their mouth against me, and when I HAVE NOTHING to do with them anymore……I’m acting funny. So what!!!! I’m done. All in person conversations will be cut to a minimum. If its not the ones I meet and befriend that’s being jealous, its the ones I meet in passing. Thinking you’re having a “grown-up” conversation with someone, and they find a way to make it their own. Either to get information so that they can use it for their personal gain, or its to make you get in trouble and make you look bad. Well those days are over, that’s it. It’s doing me more harm than anything. LOL But you know what’s so amazing…. God protects me. Sometimes I feel like a 2 year old rubbing the head of a Lion who is hungry and haven’t eaten in days, TRUSTING that he likes me and he enjoys my company….. when in reality JUST LIKE THE PEOPLE I MEET, he wants me for his personal gain. God always wire me up, because he knows my heart and he knows I mean well in all contact with people. Its a shame what people would do for a higher position in a company, and a man……….. THEY WILL NEVERRRRRRRRRR HAVE/GET/SEE!!!
The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord for giving me LIFE. Thank you for hand picking my family, I love and adore them dearly. No matter how many disagreements we have you always show me that you created them for me, and me for them…..and I see that. I know that. I feel that. Thank you.
Thank you for the talks we have especially on the River, my favorite place to be in your presense. You bring me joy and make me laugh. You are so funny and you know when I die I am known for always laughing. Thank you for being silly with me when you know that I’m upset about something, you always bring me back with the silly things you say to me, that only me and you know about. I love that. Thank you for taking the “worry box” out of my head, because you know I don’t worry about much at all. I use too, but you always show me that what I’m going through today, will quickly pass and another issue will be at hand, and you always talk care of that too. I love the conversations we have while Im driving, you know its where Im at peace most, and you know how to calm me down. I just love that about you. Thank you.
Thank you for my life and the lives I touch daily.
To be continued….
Compassion Fatigue
I just have to blog about this day. I have to in order to remember it. If I’m all over the place don’t worry about it, because this is for me. Went to work today, had a wonderful day. My job is hard mentality, dealing with so many different SPIRITS. If it wasn’t for God constantly in my ear, I don’t know where I would be…….and that’s real talk. Some of those people I just look at, because I cant believe sometimes how they don’t look out for the person behind them when they are digging in their purses, and cutting in front of each other, pushing the cart because its in the way. These people really get upset. Most of them come in with such heavy hearts, I can feel it when they come up to me. That’s why its so important to have a relationship with God, and to read our bibles. This is the only way I stand daily. If I allow every persons Spirit to come into me, I would be in trouble daily. I stand on God’s word, he makes me happy, he feels me with PEACE. He cracks me up when I don’t feel like laughing, he CHECKS me when I’m wrong. He loves me, and I feel so bad to see so many people who are living this life without him. Everyday its a struggle for them to smile, and some to even get out of bed. Not saying that I don’t, cause sometimes I DO. But I don’t stay in that place too long, because its a dead in there. I personally can’t function . But anyway…..
I got off work today, had a few hours to get ready and be on the road to my Church Second Ebenezer to see Bishop TD Jakes. See, I like to do 1000 things before I leave the house, and I knew that in order to be there by 7, I had to cut down on those things to do and leave. But I messed around and got on the rode about 6:20. OMG Traffic was on the freeway exit, lines took forever to move, traffic was so thick it was unreal. There were so many people parking their cars and walking a far distance. And those who wanted could ride the bus shuttle to the church. I never seen anything like it. Cars were parked blocks and blocks and blocks away, they were parking in businesses, and restaurants, on the street, it was really amazing on one hand, but on MY HAND…….. I was mad for playing myself like this. I know when we have our break through services, I have to leave the house at least 1 1/2 hours early to beat the traffic and fight for a good seat. Our Church seats 3000, there were so many people there we had a over flow of 3 rooms!!!! How is that possible? LOL Well, Imma say this, after thinking about it carefully and crying in the car ( yea I cried, cause I was mad at myself) I decided to stop and get me something to eat, and go home. I was disappointed and devastated at the same time. I came home from work in way enough time to get dressed and go, but I’m always “pushing it”, and this is exactly what I get.
I got home, look at my food I was turned off. Then I thought about it, I COULD PAY FOR IT ON PAY PER VIEW!!!!! I pulled out my credit card and ordered it. Just my luck for it to act up on me now. It came on, the choir was singing 2 long songs, I finally ate, and I was ready for Bishop. And soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon as he said his first word the they were having difficulties. I was blazing, trying to be patient, the insides of me was on FIYAH. It seemed as Satan had beaten me. I refresh the page at least 40 times. All I could get was bits and pieces. I was so upset, after that long ride, long line, closed parking lost, cars parked everywhere, I was outdone. Tired from work, tired from the drive, and tired of trying to get this page to come back up. I read on line that they had the same issue last night, so I knew that I was in trouble. But…..just as soon as the tears flowed, and my frustrations grew, 10-15 minutes passed, and just as I said “that’s it…. I’m done trying”…. it came back up and NEVER went out. I knew Bishop would have a word for me, I just had to hear the word. I knew it, I knew it. I knew it. I can’t say it enough. The word came at the end when he said.. ” The Angels are coming for ME”. He talked about “Compassion Fatigue” and how I’m always showing compassion, and helping this person and that person, doing this and doing that, and watching everybody make it, and do their thang, and I’m happy for them, but at the same time suffering from Compassion Fatigue. I lost it on that part. That was it, after all the heat my body went through today, I felt a cold breeze when he said “The Angels are coming for ME”!!! Its gonna be my turn, I’m going to be happy, I’m going to do the things that I always dreamed of, being where I want to be. That was my break through. That sent me over for real. I’m so happy God saw how much and how badly I needed this word, I went through hell and high water tonight, but I got the word in my ear, and I’m holding on to that appointed time. I have enough strength to hold on. I can wait a little while longer. And I’m happy. Thank you Lord for that word tonight. Thank you 🙂
I come to realize that I know a lot of people. No matter where I go, somebody always recognize me from work, school and just by others. When I’m getting my nails and brows down, there are always people there who know me. I can go through the drive thru and the people say, heyyyyyyyyyyyy gurl did you work today? And I’m like huh? Then it comes to me. Sooooooo, many people come up to me all the time and I’m like why don’t I remember them? I realize the impression I leave and they remember me. That is such a blessing. They tell me how friendly I am, and how sweet I am, and its really good to hear that because I don’t always look how I feel. LOL That’s why God always tell me that we must represent HIM. Don’t pay me any attention……..see God through me, so this explains why I am always speaking on how important to smile, and show yourself friendly. My daily bread book says that ” Jesus is telling us that the way God knows we love Him is by how we treat people”. I just love that!!! I know God has to give me that push sometimes, and I know that since I already started something, I may as well keep it going. I would hate for people to see me on the streets and I’m acting mean, and ugly. How would that look for God? I have to really, really, really be careful, God has shown me that so many people watch me and its always good to just be ME…
Well, I’m off to bed….. I’m so sleepy. Good Night!
PS, IF THERES ANY MISTAKES ILL PROOF THEM TOMORROW. IM CROSS SIDED!
Turned out to be a beautiful day
Where do I start? What a year for me. If I didn’t have Jesus in my life, I wouldn’t know where all this was coming from.This morning I got up for work for my shift 11:30-6:30. Well, let me go back a few days ago. My Sisters God mother funeral was today. I wanted to go to support my Sister and plus we know many of their family members. A few days ago I approached several people to take my hours so that I can attend the funeral. I caught up with this new gurl, and she agreed. In order to pick up hours you cant be scheduled to work on that same day. After we both signed and agreed to the date, we gave it to the manager. Well, the very next day that same manager came up to me and said, when I was changing the date for you, I realized that the person you had to take your hours is scheduled to work. I thought I was going to pass out. LOL. She made a mistake and read the schedule wrong. I had 3 hours to find someone to take my place…..I didn’t.
Even though I could have called off, I just didn’t want those points on my record. Here it is Monday morning, my momma is saying everybody is going to be asking about you, and I wish you were going with me, I wish you could have gotten somebody to take your place. You know how mommas do. I’m feeling bad about NOT being able to go, so I just get ready for work and suck it up. Came time to leave, my momma’s car was parked behind mines so she had to let me out. I went to stick the key in the ignition and I’m like heyyyyy, where is the key to this car? I sat for a minute thinking where could my key be, this is crazy. Then I remember my brother n law was testing it and I took it off my keys. This was Saturday, I haven’t driven it over the weekend, so I went looking for it on the kitchen table. I didn’t see it. Now, I’m watching the clock because I don’t want to be late, I searched high and low for that key and still couldn’t find it. I called my brother n law and he said that he had given it back to me. I got off the phone and still couldn’t find it. My mother told me that I could take her car and she would ride with my sister in her truck, but then it would be on my mind all day at work. So, I was like naw, I gotta find this key. I wont be any good at work thinking about it. Just then my sister pulled up to pick up my mom and here I was still searching for these car keys.
Just then out of the blue I decided to check my work bag and there it was in my plastic see through . I was out done, I kinda remember putting it there, but not really. By this time I was on the phone with my job, no answer. So, I hung up the phone. My momma and sister was looking at me saying “come on and go to the funeral with us, you’re already late, plus your boss already expected you to not make it”. I said naw….. yall go ahead Imma go in late, and get this day over with. They left.
Tell me this aint God~ I went to my bed room opened up my closet and saw my outfit that I was going to wear and started pulling off my work clothes. Nesha was looking at me soooooooooooo crazy, like I had lost my mind all of a sudden. She just heard me say, I was going to work, watch them drive off and here I was putting on the clothes that I was suppose to wear for the funeral. I couldn’t explain why I was putting on these clothes, and something in me wouldn’t stop. I never had that to happen to me before. I cant even explain what went through me. I was moving in top speed. It happened all of a sudden. I told Neisha…. “call my momma and tell them to come back and get me”. She did what I asked her and they were back in 2 minutes. They were so happy!! LOL They asked what happened? I said I think it was meant for me to go, my car keys, me needing to be there, and I gotta feeling that God is going to reveal something to me in going.
My other sister ( who god mother passed) was already there and so happy to see me. People were coming up to me saying ” I thought you wasn’t coming”. Which tells me they had been asking my sister about me. I’m so glad that I went. Afterwards me my mom and sister went to Applebees to eat. I let them do all the talking at times, because I kept thinking about how God must have wanted me to go in the first place, when I was on my way to work. I had a strong feeling why he wanted me there, then at dinner my sister went into details why she think God wanted her there, and it was the very same thing HE TOLD ME. That was confirmation!
I came home, feeling so “different” and so I laid down for a nap, woke up so full of God’s Love, feeling so changed, feeling so good. I had this dream that I was sitting at the table with my brother Bobby, and he was asking me in his “bobby kinda way”….. Why do we have to pay tithes? In my dream I started “going hard in the paint” on him about, it was deep in the streets how I was explaining. Just then ALL OF A SUDDEN I woke up and was like “God why you wake me up I wasn’t finish telling him? He said now go write it down.
I love God. Thank you for waking me up this afternoon from a nap so full of LOVE AND JOY.
LaCrease
“Handing God the keys”
Hey 🙂
I know its been a minute. Its hard being consistent when you want/try to do so many things. My mind is all over the place sometimes whew!!! LOL
Lately I’ve been reading this book by my gurl Joyce Meyer called How to HEAR FROM GOD~ and its the bomb. I bought it a long time ago, its one of those books where you can pick it up and read it 1000 times, because she explains things so clearly and she is straight to the point about it. I’ll get to that tomorrow. Today I want to talk about “Handing the keys over to God”.
I LOVE to drive.
I always had a FEAR of driving and so finally at age 32 I got my license. One day, I’m going to buy myself a fast car, because I have a need every now and then for SPEED. Whenever I go to dinner with friends or family, I’m always the first to say….. I’m driving my own car, or yall can ride with me. It could be one of those functions where, we all want to ride together, talk, and laugh, I will always volunteer to drive. Instead of driving to the mall that’s 3 minutes away, I will drive to the one that’s 45 minutes away. When I went to Atlanta in June I drove from 10 am to 1 am in the morning. When I rent a hotel room to get away for a weekend, I wont go to the ones downtown Detroit, I will ride out to the one that’s almost an hour away. That’s how deep my LOVE for driving is.
So recently I asked myself…… Why do you always want to drive when sometimes its not necessary? Why instead of driving their car, you always chose to drive in your own car? I can no longer say its just because….. I LOVE to drive. My real reason because I LOVE to be in CONTROL.
I’m not bossy when it comes to the time we’re leaving a function, or when we’re coming back. I enjoy driving period. If someone has someplace to go afterwards, I will take them. I have no problem going anywhere. It could be 4 of us in the car, everybody can fall asleep , I don’t care, I just enjoy driving.
Part of me feel that if I’m driving, I don’t have to worry about getting us in a car accident. To ride on the passenger side would be for me to “allow someone else to get me to my destination”. Which would mean I would have to sit there. I’m not at all saying that they can’t drive….. I’m not saying that at all. I trust myself. If I drive, I wont have to ask questions, I don’t have to worry about what route I’m taking, how long were staying, when were coming home..Cause I would know. Wow Deep Huh? I realize this is the REAL reason why I LOVE to drive versus sitting on the passenger side “doing nothing” and waiting to arrive at my destination.
Now, I realize why its so hard to “hand over the keys to God” with certain things in my life. I like to drive and that’s the reason why I feel sometimes I’m not moving as fast. I have the keys and don’t want to turn them over to the REAL DRIVER……. GOD. I have been selfish with the keys , and now I feel the time IS NOW to hand them over, so that I can sit back and relax ON THE PASSENGER side, without asking questions, without wonder when we’re going to arrive, without asking how many hours, or days, or mintues. Wow, this is real deep to me as I type.
Now, I’m secretly asking….God do I trust you? YES, I trust him! I’m sure not showing it in my certain situation. I feel bad because he’s the one who has gotten me through some hard, hard, hard times, but Im finding that Im holding the keys and is afraid of turning them over. Not because he won’t do all the things he has told me that he’s gonna do, ( oh, thats a done deal) but its because I DONT KNOW WHEN? That’s the part that’s “killing me” ( a figure of speech). If I give up the keys, I know God is NOT going to answer my 100,000 questions about my arrival date to this. I spend a lot of time with him and I KNOW FOR A FACT, he’s not moved by my many questions. LOL I know with God, I have to just sit back and “LET HIM DRIVE”. I know he’s not going to answer my questions on this subject……because this is the area that he’s working on me . Quietness is what he wants ( concerning my destination), while I patiently sit on the passenger side. Can you imagine how hard this is to a person who always want to control things, and always want to drive the life, that I didn’t give to myself? I don’t know if he’s taking the streets to my destiny and desires, or the highway, the service drive, the turn pike, the neighborhoods, or the airways. But I do know this , God will be doing MY driving.
I’m a visual person, I have to see myself actually doing what I vision. Tonight I saw myself handing over the keys to the Lord . Finally! I’m going to sit back and enjoy the scenery , talk and laugh with him ALL the way to my destiny,and desires. I even noticed…..that I don’t have to wear a seat beat. 🙂 I’m with God!!
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” (Psalm 37:4,7)
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” (Psalm 37:4,7)
Valentines Day Care Packages~2011
Cree’s Valentines Day Care packages for the Homeless was awesome!!! We had a ball going out to the streets of downtown Detroit in search for those who are homeless.
When I started Cree’s Feeding the Homeless for Thanksgiving, I was very nervous about asking people for help, because what I wanted to do was kinda
unheard of. I had a vision to prepare the food in my own home, and then go out to the streets to FIND people who were homeless. That’s why I believe that when you establish good credit with people when doing something like this, people WILL invest time and money into you. They’re going to first think mentality about the person you are. They will examine that, and then, they will decide if they want to be apart of your vision. Gloria and I were talking yesterday about how important our mothers said that our credit would be, but being young at the time we felt it was foolish to think about credit. They were right, and not only financially, it could be your attendance at work, your history of anger, your history of good friendships, being on time when people come to pick you up, they pay attention to the time length when you borrow money from them. People really do look at that in deciding to be apart of anything that you do. And I say that to say…..how is your credit with people? Think about it.
I’m so grateful to know that so many people believe in my vision. I’ve had several people from Twitter who have never in their lives met me, take a chance and decided to donate just because they believed that I would carry the vision out and do exactly what I say I would do. I believe that what I display in my Tweets, and the LOVE I have for God, is why he laid it on their hearts to be apart of this mission. So, I send a special Thank you to my Twitter gurls ~Selena from NYC, Calandra ( from Chicago), and my #1 twin Sister Sherry (from Michigan).
This year was different than last year. Last year we didn’t serve food, but what we found out was, they were hungry. While they were happy to receive what We had last year, it was very clear that they wanted to eat. And so with knowing that, we heard the call and delivered!!!! We made a HUGE POT OF SPAGHETTI. We passed out nice size plates topped off with Sara Lee dinner rolls, Entenmann’s donuts, Faygo pops, Aquafina and Dasani bottles of water.They had gloves, hats, toothpaste, lotions, deodorant, face cloths, and toothbrush holders. Also we were able to buy 4 jackets, and one pink coat. They were so happy, and so Thankful.
The sad part about the mission was, after we had passed out care packages and everyone went their own ways to eat, we saw people eating the dinners from the alleys in the cold. They even looked happy and content. We drove around, and gave this one guy another plate. We saw people eating anywhere they can just for peace. What bought tears to my eyes was, this guy found a spot on a building steps and ate his dinner. Its so hard to see people who have no where to go, I DONT CARE HOW THEY GOT INTO THEIR SITUATION, I just know that they deserve to be treated with respect, and to be treated as a HUMAN BEING. I’m a cashier for a HUGE COMPANY, and I see daily so many ungrateful people, coming in with their money flashing all over the place making claim to whatever it is they want to buy. And not with LOVE, but with an attitude and ignorant BOLDNESS. None of this “stuff” we CLAIM is ours, it belongs to God. One day, and one day soon God is going to take from the Rich and give to the Poor. I don’t know about those who are reading this entry, but I know many folks including myself, who maybe 5-6 paychecks away from homeless. Yes, we may have family members who will take us in, but YES, that would mean that WE TOO are HOMELESS. Anytime you don’t have your own PLACE TO SLEEP…….that’s a form of HOMELESSNESS. With all of that said, its our duty to help others. No matter if you’re sitting in the break room at lunch and you clearly HEAR someone say, they don’t have any money to eat with, it is our JOBS ……YES, OUR…. JOBS to reach into our pockets and purses and make sure we do all we can to make sure that person eats. And if you’re a person with ” Good Credit”, and you dont have any money on you at the time, then you should be able to go to those people you have established a good bond with and get $5.00 for that person to eat with. That’s the purpose of establishing “good credit” no matter what area of your life that its in. You NEVER know when your child is in school and without something, you NEVER know. Do what’s right to others, and no matter who you are, God will make sure that your love ones are taken care of, ESPECIALLY if you can’t get to them in time.
My car broke down Saturday RIGHT AFTER WORK, so I called Gloria and told her, and she said no problem ” we can go in my car”. That next day I was telling another friend Margarette, and she said that since she have a truck ……she’ll drive. The very day of the mission, another friend came over after work unexpectedly with a truck as well, she TRAILED ALONE and helped. See how God take care of us? He knows our hearts and he knows what we need and he always come through RIGHT ON TIME. I notice and look at all of that, and I can NEVER say Thank you Jesus enough. Thank you Lord, Thank you!
I want to say Thank you for all of those who helped out, and to those who wanted to help. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
PLEASE READ THE SCRIPTURE BELOW……VERY POWERFUL
The Sheep and the Goats ~ MATTHEW 25: 31-46
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
CREE
Inside the mind of cree 
