Tag: men

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A sad weekend…..Cree’s Blog Entry

cjHey Fam,

Its been a while since I’ve posted. I don’t even know where to start.Last Saturday I went to the funeral of Gary Berry and man who I’ve known since he was no older than 2 or 3. He was murdered.

Then after wards in another area of the church* mostly the people at the funeral was at the celebration as well* was a 75th Birthday Celebration of Ms. Harris, a woman who use to live directly next door to us when I was about 7. She was the Madea of my time. It was a sad day turned happy day.

Last night, this same woman lost her grandson to a senseless murder, so now again, we will meet up at a funeral. I remember when his mom Lynn was pregnant with him 30 something years ago. He was born weighing 14 pounds, the biggest baby I’ve ever heard of. He recently got married and has children with his wife. Everyday he was posting videos playing with his kids. I watched them all because it was so cute seeing a husband/man/father interacting with his children. Last week, I told him that I was calling him the “VIDEO MAN”. LOL Wow, how does this mother tell her children that their father is not coming home? * CJ in the above photo*

kenThis afternoon one of my best friends Gloria, lost her boyfriend* in this photo* to kidney failure. I am so sad. I knew he was sick, but not that sick. What a sad weekend. My male BFF Rodney lost his aunt on Friday, and a cousin through marriage buried her mom yesterday. Its like God is calling his people saying… “you come home”, “you come home”, “you come home”, “you come home”. There is nothing no one can do about it. I know we have to leave here, and this is why I preach daily…. tell your family you love them, spend time with them, if you get into it make up quickly. I even called my dad early this morning , * Thanks Sherry* because I see that he wasn’t going to call me first, and he was the one who hung up on me. I just don’t have time for back and forth anymore. I’m almost 50, I’m not spending my last “minutes” on earth arguing with folks, being mad, and not talking. I just can’t.

God will see us through.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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28 years too harsh… the fall of Former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick…… Crees Blog Entry

only meOur former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was sentenced yesterday to 28 years in prison, and today his Best Friend was sentenced to 21 years.

I had a discussion about it yesterday on my FB page and a lot of people didn’t agree with the harsh sentence that was handed down. Even if I thought it was too many years to serve…. when you’re a person with that much POWER and you’re found guilty of many serious accounts of fraudulent behavior…. understand that more was required, and trust me MORE TIME was given too.

I voted for this Mayor and even though he was very smart and could get a deal for the city as the LAWYER he was, he was a bully. The part that bothers me about the whole thing is that…. he became so greedy that he didn’t even think far enough down the rode to know that EVENTUALLY “what’s done in the dark would come to the light”. He didn’t think about his Mom who had been a Politician for many years and what it would do to her career. She lost the Democratic primary election in 2010. He didn’t think about his wife and the fact that if he ever got caught, she would either wait until he’s 71 years old to get out of jail, or if she’d divorce him, keep his last name…and find someone else. He didn’t think about that. He didn’t think about seeing his sons graduate from High School and College, or that he’ll never see his grand kids born, or attend his sons wedding. He will forever say to them “I’m sorry”, in everything that he’ll miss. Of course they’ll forgive him, but greed has caused him to ENJOY THE LUXURY of things that he’ll never see again.

I don’t feel bad for him…. I feel bad for all the people that this has been affected. I believe with all my heart that his arrogance and his silence about where the money is hidden, has caused him to get so many years. I guess he figured if I’m going to do the time, aint no use in telling where the money is.. lol My prayer is that he turn to God * we use to go to the same church, ((((Second Ebenezer))))) I saw him every Sunday before he was our Mayor*. All he have to do is ask God for forgiveness. I hope he study his bible and become a role model for the MEN locked up. You know God send wise people to jail to get them saved too. I truly believe with all my heart…. that’s his next assignment.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Women in the workplace…..Cree’s Blog Entry

dramafreeSo, today I want to talk to the ladies….. men you can read this too. *smile*.

Why are women so full of gossip and jealousy? Why can’t we just go to work TO WORK… then go home to a PEACEFUL ATMOSPHERE? Because let me say this…. if you come to work as a peaceful person, trust me, your home is too. If you’re the type that’s ALWAYS in the office (((ABOUT ANYTHING))) running behind management, can’t wait for a break just to share gossip that happened… stop that!!! It looks a MESS. And please tell me why do (((some))) women do everything in their power to be SEEN. They have to talk the loudest, walk pass you 1000 times, tell everybody what they just bought, and make it known who THEY LIKE/ likes THEM in the building. The funny part is, the more I sit at the table and turn my attention to my phone, or stare in the air, the more they want me TO HEAR THEM, AND RE DIRECT MY ATTENTION TO THEM. NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

LOL So I say that to say….don’t give in to that type of pressure. Once you listen to one story, then you’ll be *invited* to all the gossip sessions. I don’t like that. Tell me a story… cool… but when it becomes a personal attack…I keeps it moving.

Another thing that women do….. ((((some)))) if they have a problem with a member of management or another co-worker, they will sit around a bunch of others who will listen to their story… instead of going to the person involved. Why do women do that? The people you’re telling the story too cant help you…. why even let anyone in on a situation that they HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO POWER to change? After a while the story becomes gossip filled, and full of opinions. Always go to the “root” of your problems.

I had an issue with a coworker last week, and when I went to her to address it…..she told everyone about it. Made me ANGRY… * but I did good*. If I wanted everyone to know, I would have told them first. I guess she did that because she needed someone to talk too…. but for me that’s a way to get me upset. Too many opinions, will geek up someone to say or do something they wouldn’t normally do. Anyway, yesterday was the last straw….she knew she was wrong, but still she feels “some kinda way about it”. She CRIED told everyone who would listen… so today she made some changes… and next week things should be back to normal. If I wrote out the story… YALL WOULD BE MAD!!! LOL LOL TRUST ME.

Oh well…. I just washed a load, about to chill before sleep. I’m making some chili for dinner tomorrow….haven’t had that in a long time.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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My Virgo Friend…Anger Issues…Keeping it moving….. Cree’s Blog Entry

IMG_1328I’m feeling so much better after we had that 94 degree weather, then the next day in the 60’s. I knew it would catch me. I was sweating leaving work * no air in the schools here* and when I got outside the breeze was feeling good. The next day I was sick. I’ve been coughing so much my RIB CAGE IS SORE!!!! OOO chile. LOL Anyway… I’m fine.

I finally got a chance to talk to my VIRGO friend who caught our apartment building on fire Friday. He came to gather up some things from his apartment. Yesterday was his birthday. He had just got out of the hospital. He had burns on his neck that was visible, his hands were burnt and not sure where else. We plan to talk tonight. He was moving his things out, not sure if he’s coming back. Sometimes I feel that I should have helped him out. OOO Lawd, we use to debate about any and every ole thang. I think he liked to make up with me… I dunno. But any way, he was soooooooooooooo happy to see me when the elevator opened and it was my face he saw. He had a flat bed full of his things that were falling all over the place. People were waiting to get on the elevator, saw him struggling and wouldn’t lift a finger, until he said.. yall wanna get on, and I wanna get out, HELP ME SOMEBODY. LOL LOL LOL That’s a true Virgo…. we’re something else. They all started grabbing things to help him out. I was laughing … (((in my mind))) He said it in a nice way, it was kinda funny. He’s an only child and you can tell that he’s had assistance all of his life….his mom. Mommas Boy ((((( in my Lynn Whitfield voice from A Thin Line Between Love and Hate)))) LOL I’ll get the full story when I talk to him.

As you all know I’m working on my ANGER ISSUES… As I was watching Basketball Wives Tami called over a Life Coach to help her identify with her issues of why she doesn’t like when people put their fingers in her face. When she say.. she will pop you… please believe it. But when she learned that it comes from childhood issues….. it really amazed her. She said that her mother use to do it to her… which told me “she felt some kinda way” about it. I wonder in which way did her mom use it. It had to be in a way that made her not able to defend herself… and now that she’s grown.. she’s not dealing with the hand thing. Which takes me back to my issues of people who manipulate, bullying, talking any kind of way to others. Whewww just makes my FOREHEAD HOT. Takes me back to my dad on that. Speaking of my dad, he hasn’t talked to me in over a month. How you not talk to your daughter/child in over a month? Im so use to it… doesn’t even move me any more. Everyone in the family get along, we never ever fall out or get into it. NEVER EVER… But my dad has done so much manipulating to my mom and us when we were growing up, his guilt has caught up with him in his own mind. We are so over it… we love him, and has moved on from the past. He loves POWER… so to make himself feel as if he “still has it”…. and he knows how we all feel about being a family, having disagreements and KEEPING IT MOVING…. this is how he tends to hold on to it. My daughter told him TONIGHT… if he doesn’t call me before 9pm she is not talking to him for a month((( she was just playing.. but he doesn’t know it)))… Oh he wont be able to take that. Its funny how he LOVES the grand kids * the baby being 17* but he doesn’t get along with his kids. Now if we were low down kids, we would tell our kids NOT TO TALK TO HIM… but were not like that. Who wants their kids not to talk to their granddad? What grand kid enjoys their granddad not talking to their mom? Anyway….. to be honest I have enjoyed this month away from him… because after a week or 2, he’ll find something else to nick pick sabotaging that. SMH

Since living alone….. I see so much I have dealt with concerning people, even friends, that I’m not dealing with the mess anymore. Stuff that I ignored or didn’t care about….. has really caught up with me to see. People I shouldn’t have NEVER met. People I wish I didn’t have any memory of… yeah that bad. But my brother wired me up real good, and it won’t happen again.. TRUST THAT!!!

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

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Detroit Lions Sunday!!!

GREENSSWatching The Detroit Lions play against Minnesota. Football is my FAVORITE SPORT. I’m watching the game frying some chicken, made my corn bread and collard greens. I have to watch the game alone sometimes… cause I be nutting up!!! LOL I be screaming, hollering, hitting and beating on thangs, cussing, laughing, mad, STANDING UP, SITTING DOWN, TALKING JUNK. LOL I think I’ll get put out of a sports bar because I holler so LOUD!!!! LOL LOL

I’ll write tonight!!!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO j
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Anger Issues, Dirty to Clean, Tyler Perry lay hands Cree’s Blog Entry

ImageAs you know * if you read my blog entries* I’m working hard on my Anger issues.. In order for me to go to the next level…. I have to get this in order. Its a MUST. Posting about Anger is a topic that I will discuss each time I post, because it helps me in my everyday living.

 

 

I’m the oldest of 4 and I’ve always been protective of my God, siblings, family and friends. And if I didn’t know any better… I would fight you over them . I would…..for real. LOL Truth is…. I’ve never had a fight before… but I can get be very SURGICAL with my tongue….and that has caused me, to come to the conclusion, that I need to work on my Anger issues. And it was tested again…. this weekend. Wow wow wow
 
 
Thursday was the first night of Mega Fest in Dallas Texas with Bishop TD Jakes and First Lady Serita Jakes hosting. I got up early morning to start the day, I watched all the afternoon and evening sessions didn’t leave the house at all, and on Sunday……. I knew the Bishop was going to give us “desert”….and I was watching STREAMING LIVE for the ENTIRE SERVICE.
When Bishop TD Jakes called up Tyler Perry… He was caught totally off guard… you can see it in his face. He’s the type of person who gets embarrassed about stuff like this. He rather sit in his seat and present a check later….. in PRIVATE. In his mind this is his time to get his Praise on and not draw any attention to himself. I’ve been watching TD Jakes Sermons for years and years…. he feeds my soul. I love his connection to God and his Ministry. When he called up Tyler that wasn’t to embarrass him, or TO BRAG to the Church AND the WORLD…. that he gave 1 million dollars PLUS, or to make any one in the audience or home viewers feel “SOME KINDA WAY” about THEIR donation if any……. *ijs*… It was simply out of GRATITUDE …..and about hearing the voice of GOD AND… ACTING ON IT. Say this with me…. AND ACTING ON IT… one more time… AND ACTING ON IT.
 
 
When Tyler Perry took the stage…. he was nervous he grabbed Dr. Jazz hand, but once he was okay with what was happening and where God was about to take him …..at that moment I saw God totally take over Tyler and he went there!!! Before Tyler even took the stage I was already sitting here with tears rolling down my face, and when he started speaking in tongues….. I was gone… Spiritually Speaking. I knew God had taken over. He tried to give the microphone back…. but they knew God wasn’t finished… and when he laid hands on Bishop TD Jakes… it was God’s hand in the Spirit and Tyler’s in the flesh. My goodness it was something to see!!! I was done at that point, and the word hadn’t even went forth yet * as far as the morning sermon* .So much POWER went through Tyler, I know he was weak and hungry after that. LOL LOL Not only did you see it… but you could FEEL IT. My legs could not stop jumping, it was a very POWERFUL moment. Praise God…. I saw it LIVE with my own eyes.
 
 
Went to bed that night feeling GREAT…AWESOME… got up MONDAY MORNING and the news was everywhere!!!
 
 
“Tyler Perry lays hands on the Bishop… who do he think he is?” “The Bishop is fake, they planned this to get attention, and money”. “Tyler Perry was disrespectful to lay hands on the Bishop.” ” This is foolishness and it has to stop”! “This is the reason why I don’t go to Church” The headlines were endless. The main ones were saying….”You gotta be careful who you let lay hands on you”… All while I’m saying to myself…. and YOU gotta be careful not to let foolishness non God fearing men come up in your house eat your food up from your kids, lay on your couch, and drive your car, YOU gotta be careful to spend your money wisely so that you won’t have to beg, borrow or steal. YOU gotta be careful who you let around your kids while they’re cussing and doing whatever in front of boys”  YOU gotta be careful not to give your body to any man who says “you’re different”.  YOU….. gotta be careful not to talk down on the next person, because it could be them today and YOU tomorrow. So, people lets watch the “be carefuls” in other areas….. because really its true… but it goes without saying. #stuffyouknowwithoutsaying
 
 
 
 
This was the part that bothered me….not because they talked about Bishop TD Jakes… or Tyler Perry * who cares *…. but because of the many, many, many, many, many people who didn’t get it. And I know everyone is not on the same page…. Spiritually Speaking, but when you DISRESPECT (((and speak on))))) the move of the Holy Spirit, you put a chain on yourself so thick. Especially when you have no interest in seeing the whole REBROADCAST (((for yourself))))… and when you don’t care about The Lord, The Church members, Bishop or Tyler. All you want is head shaking, hand clapping, people pleasing AMENS.
 
 
As God is teaching me how to channel in on what triggers my anger. He’s showing me that I’m NOT angry * so I thought I was* about the fact that people I love and admire are being talked about negatively, I’m angry about WHAT THEIR NOT GETTING. That’s a HUGE WOW MOMENT FOR ME!!!!! I’m angry because people are not getting it, they don’t care. Its real that people are going to perish.
The bible says:

Hosea 4:6

New International Version (NIV)

6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.

“Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also reject you as my priests;
because you have ignored the law of your God,
I also will ignore your children.

 

 

As I’m reading comment after comment on different sites…. I’m alarmed at the many people with negative comments, and hateful replies. That’s when God said La’Crease… “Look at this as a reminder of the work that *still* has to be done in order to get * reach* them to become believers. Then I thought….. If they don’t believe this…… TRUST ME…THEY’RE BELIEVING SOMETHING ELSE… UM UMMMM He said now… what would it look like if YOU.. joined in making them just as ANGRY as you are reading it? Yes it makes so much sense, which has caused me to shift my focus. When they heard and saw the video… it made them ANGRY…. so when I read what THEY wrote… it made me ANGRY. I had no intentions on commenting and I didn’t.

 

 

In closing I want to say… you put DIRTY CLOTHES in a WASHING MACHINE… . What sense would it be to wash a load of clean clothes? Who goes in the cabinet and re wash the dishes they’ve already washed? Who takes a car to the car wash 2 times a day? Who does that? Nonbelievers feel that there is no hope for them because they have sinned. They pointed to both Bishop and Tyler as sinners who lay hands on others. As if to say.. Tyler Perry is not perfect what gives him the right to lay hands? These are the same people who PRAY… but still feel “somebody suppose to” ((((helping God out)))))) run over to their house and give them food . Instead of waiting on God. But what they don’t know is, if they’re clubbing, having non martial sex, allowing abusive relationships physical/mental, cursing, fighting, stealing, using drugs, robbing, killing, any thing……..and start going to church, reading the bible, building a relationship with The Lord, they will feel convicted in their hearts and put an end to it. Folks don’t want to sacrifice in order to see what’s on the other side. TRUST ME I KNOWWWWWWWWW about this!!!!
 
 
Stop talking about people, gossiping and waiting on people to join your “he/she said that wagon” instead…. smile, show yourself friendly, help others in need. Feel the need to ask God to use you. Find ways to become close with God instead of sitting on message boards, facebook, twitter and tearing down each other. Make sure that what you’re saying is not causing others to SIN..
 
 
But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.
 
 
Ephesians 4:31

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
 
 
Colossians 3:8

But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
 
 
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
 
 
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
 
 
“How long will you who are simple love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?
And lastly
 

1 John 4:1

New International Version (NIV)….4 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

 

 

Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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My Virgo Friend, Married Men….Cree’s Blog Entry

creefaceI was just going through the papers in my file cabinet and I wrote a love story about 15 years ago. I’m reading it now and its so interesting how I came up with it. I realized that in my story I used so many things that was real life to me at that time. For instance my family and friends, things that happened that I totally forgot was added in the story. Different people I knew… I even forgot about them. LOL So as a writer, I see and know for my self that a lot of movies, and books people write have something to do with their own personal experiences, people they know, places and events that actually happened. Wow…. so it inspired me to start another LOVE STORY as I type this. It just flows out of my head… yeah I’m such a nerd while everyone is out enjoying the summer, I find myself reading and writing all day, just as I did as a child. Well, at least I have that option… I can jump in my van and go anywhere I want….. but this… I CHOOSE.

So, I made friends with my Virgo friend who lives in the building. I guess he seen that yeah… I was nice…yeah I did share a lot…. and yeah I have teeth too…. that bite. I can tell he missed me. I missed his crazy self too. Whew that man knows he love to debate…. and strong minded whew…. but I’m a VIRGO too…. and I can go just as hard. But that’s not who I want to be. He called me, and we talked. He told me that he found him two housekeepers who come cook and clean for him…. Yeaaaaa…. cause <SHE> aint the one. I understand that he needed it, and that’s all good….. but I’m NOT <HER>…… at all. I’m trying to do <ME>…. my daughter is grown, living on her own.. and making good money for herself.

So, I have this other friend….I met him about 10 years ago. We dated, at first I liked him, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. When I like a man, I like to visualize being with him… not so much as sexual. But when he’s not around… I like to think about him, and try to remember his scent, his kisses. With this guy I just wasn’t feeling him in this way. He really liked me, and I liked him as a friend and so it didn’t work out. We were never sexually involved, we did communicate a lot, but I wasn’t feeling him that way. Well one day after several years had passed, when I was working at Walmart, he came through my line and looked at me REAL MEAN and said…..” I’m getting married” then walked OUT. LOL I was like OKKKKKKK. * laughs a little*. Aint gon lie… did leave me feeling some kinda way. Not so much as…. dang… I wish it was me…. but I wonder what was behind him telling me about it this way?

I was happy for him, but then after several years, he started calling me wanting to talk about how he and his wife separated. I listened to him, we were friends and I was happy for him. When someone is not your type, and you cant see yourself with them….I feel its okay to talk every now and then, as long as the conversation never becomes sexual. He introduced me to her, and we were cool. One day he came up to my job, when he saw me, I guess he had flash backs I don’t know. He’s about 6’5. as I reached up to hug him, he grabbed both of my booty cheeks and squeezed them. I was sooooooooooooooooo mad, and sooooooooo embarrassed. He kept apologized 1000 times saying he was sorry, and that he couldn’t help it. OMG I was ON FIRE!!! At my job? A Virgo? He’s married? That’s one thang you don’t do….. is embarrass a VIRGO. I said to him… its going to be a LONG time before you see me again… I hope your hands are happy boo.

I made good on that promise. YEARS AND YEARS LATER.. LOL One day recently he text me out of the blue. He tells me that he and his wife is fine and that they are together… and you know me…. I’m happy for him. Very good. Praise God. The conversation is going so good…. then he sends several photos of himself wrapped in a towel. Disrespectful to the 100th power. I came to the conclusion that we can’t be friends at all period. He doesn’t know how to act. He cant help it.. okay I get it. But you will not DISRESPECT your WIFE…. and dam sure not ME. I never responded. He kept apologizing as he always does.

The point I’m TRYING to make is………. women stop settling for these types of men. Don’t let these kinds of men creep into your household, and make you apart of him. A person who has a WIFE… family, and you on the side. I realize that as long as I’m his “friend” I am apart of his BS…. mentally speaking. And I don’t even like him like that….. I KNOW better than this. Then last week, he got on Facebook, showing photos of him and his wife plus kids at Universal Studios. Which he has EVERY RIGHT to do. Married women do the same thing…. always keeping that “friend” on the side… yea she may really be JUST a friend…. but when it because a sexual conversation… someone took it to another level. LEAVE THAT ALONE!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Relationship Choices….Cree’s Blog Entry

ImageI was talking to my Male BFF and he was telling me about his relationship with his on and off again gurlfriend of 8 years. He introduced me to her soon as they met, and I really like her a lot. She’s a very nice gurl. She in boxed me yesterday, told me that he told her that we had a conversation about their relationship. She asked me for some advice. Of course he called me the next day asking what advice did I give her. LOL * and you know I told him everything*
 
 
I love my Male BFF, but baby when I say he’s selfish….. BELIEVE it. He has a great job as a truck driver, he LOVES his kids, was married when he had them * still not divorced* has his own place, doing very good. As long as I’ve been knowing him, he’s never had an attitude, yes he gets angry, but it only last as long as he tells the story. He’s a great person. But he’s selfish, and that’s tearing their relationship apart. I told her when she first met him this is his only issue, anything else is workable.
 
 
She’s fed up with his selfishness, and he’s fed up with her attitude. Her attitude comes from him being selfish. My advice to her was, and I want every person reading this to get it……at some point in your life, you cannot keep expecting someone to change when they have shown you * in this case 8 years* who they are in this area. This is who he is. Maybe he doesn’t see it, maybe he doesn’t agree with it, maybe he feels that since he’s a good person in all other areas * he is* that this is the one area he doesn’t want to compromise in. I told her that she CANNOT go on breaking it off, then getting together again. At some point, this gets tiring. I told her that she cannot expect for him to make a decision on what to do about their relationship… SHE HAS TO DECIDE IF THIS IS THE MAN SHE WANTS TO BE WITH. Of course he’s going to call you for sex, of course he wants to see you, of course he wants to be around you,.. but you have to make a decision with your LIFE.
 
 
When I was with my daughters dad, I was always expecting him to SAY with his MOUTH…. that we are not together. We were still having sex, he would come over and be with us all day, he would help me out whenever I needed him, we did things as if we were a couple. But when he showed me in other areas of himself that bothered me, I thought…. I’m not feeling this, and when I told him about it, I always left it up to him to decide our next level. Mann… after I realize that he could “live like that with me” FOREVER and that he didn’t have to explain anything to me, it was for me to ((((FIGURE OUT)))) I was done with him.
 
 
He had me, other women, and everything else he had built. I always felt that communication was a way of expressing how you felt. Even if we were going to be together or not. But I realize that men don’t always express themselves, they kinda “hope” that women get it. I’m not the kind of person who gets (((subliminal))) messages either. I put an end to those kinds of people who does it, trying to figure out their mess, because they had insecurities, doubt and fears of relaying a message. Subliminal messages PISSES me off to no end. At age 46 I refuse to sit up with a pen and paper and try to decipher what you’re saying. I’M NOT DOING THAT… AT ALL PERIOD… I’m not praying over it, I’m not calling people to help me figure it out, I’m not pulling out books, not calling people with Doctrine Degrees, I’m not doing any of that. You have to tell me in writing or in person exactly what you mean. The reason why, is because that’s the language I speak to others. I like to express the truth. Best thing is… I have learned to say things in a way that people “get it”, and my tone of voice is shared in a way where they’re not offended. When people ask for my advice I don’t give them 20 minutes of talk, I say what I have to say, and get right to the point. You want the person to “get it”.
 
 
Getting back to my story. I told her that she has to make a choice. We are in our 40’s, we don’t have time to go be on again and off again in a relationship. You know what you want, what you need, and what you would and wont put up with. I said don’t sit up and wait on him to make the choice for you. If you’re not happy ((( they’re both not))) keep it moving. People are scared to keep it moving these days. They don’t want to be alone. They feel that if they have invested many years in a relationship, why give it up now, even though its not working out. Women has this bad. We have to know what we want up front, and if we are not getting that, we have to be able to move on. Its Okay. Never wait for any man, situation to knock you down, before you decide (((this is NOT working))))) for me. Know what you want….. and if you’re not getting it…… KEEP IT MOVING. (((in my favorite words….. THIS TRAIN IS MOVING)))
 
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Feeling some kinda way….about him.. Cree’s Blog Entry!

2013-07-1220.05.30I have a lot that I could speak on when it comes to the Zimmerman case, but I’m very vocal on Twitter so I’ll just leave it at that.

 

I knew once I was on my own I would make myself more available to dating and getting to know someone nice. I can’t even count the men that I have met in the last 6 months. None of them made it inside my apartment, and it never went as far as a kiss.

 

 

But this one guy… um um um….. I liked him… I mean I really liked him. I really thought my “like” button was broke, because I always knew what kind of man I wanted, and I just wasn’t coming across him. We saw each other 5 times a week, and talked on the phone between both his jobs. I would sit at his job in my building * he was the boss* for hours, he never wanted me to leave. We got attached to each other real quick. But one day…. when I walked up to him for the first time that day… he stared me in the eyes and said… I talked to God about you last night….* and then he told me what God told him*… he said to me, when this happen don’t forget about me. I was so shocked at what he said.. I just stood there in a frozen blizzard and stared at him. He was like… are you alright… what? I couldn’t even talk… I changed the subject and when I got to my apartment I got in the bathtub and started thinking about it. Just then he called and said Cree are you okay? What did I say so shocking? I played it off again, and we hung up.

 

Right then and there I knew he wasn’t the one for me, I knew that he was ONLY in my life to give me that message. I KNEW that my days of being with and around him were numbered. GOD KNEW that in order for me to even BELIEVE the message , was that  I HAD TO HAVE SOME KIND OF FEELINGS/CONNECTION  to HIM to even give him the time of day. I do NOT put any energy into a man who I have ABSOLUTELY no feelings for…. its time consuming and relationship/friendship suicide.

 

The reason why I would never get serious with him, was because he was in the “process” of getting himself together, and had several “when he had time” relationships. I was not looking for that at all. I also noticed that when we would talk, several other women came around, and as a woman I knew that he was attracted to them as well as to me. One person in particular… I knew he had eyes for. She couldn’t wait until I left so that she could get her few hours in… LOL it was all good, because I knew he wasn’t the one for me, but his presence, personality, conversations, beautiful teeth and smile… ALWAYS made me happy.

 

He’d applied for another job, and had gotten it. I knew my days of not seeing him were numbered when he shared that info with me. He worked 2 full time jobs and lived too far for us to see each other even once a week. I was sad and stopped calling him. He would call me all the time and ask why you never call me anymore. I couldn’t take not seeing him like I was use too. I was wrong, but I had to disconnect from him. I just stopped answering  his calls, and stop calling him. This was in April or May.

 

Yesterday……… as I stepped out of my van and was walking through my gated parking lot. I felt “something”.. I cant even explain what it was, but it was a weird feeling. It was so weird that I decided to scan the parking lot to see was someone following me… it wasn’t even 6pm yet, and it  doesn’t get dark until after 9. As I’m walking towards my building…. I spot HIM AND her…..looking at me as they walk to the car. Yea… the gurl, the “one in particular”. She lives here in my building. My heart was racing when I saw him because it caught me  totally off guard. I wasn’t mad or anything…. I JUST KNEW WHAT I KNEW. I knew they liked it each other, and I know they’re together.

 

I guess the point I’m making is…. I’m still feeling some kinda way about seeing him… and THEM TOGETHER.I really really liked him. I haven’t liked a guy like that in over 10 years. I’m very funny about giving my heart, time and Love to anyone. I have to really know you, and be with you, to know how I feel. And God knew this. But he had to get that message to me… and I got it. But back in the day, baaaaaaby…..as soon as I put that key into the door, I would have been calling him *not caring one thing about what they are to each other* saying……. COME TO MY APARTMENT TONIGHT AT 8. BE HERE!!!! LOL But I’m 45 and I KEEPS IT MOVING…..The one for me is still out there!!! 🙂

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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